Insiders’ Guide

Insider’s Guide

Tips and tricks for living the good life in the North Bay. A special section

Texts by Greg Cahill (GC), Paula Harris (PH), Patrick Sullivan (PS), David Templeton (DT).

Fingertips: Eat, drink, be well connected, healthy, relaxed, energy independent, and merry.

Out & About: Where to get help with your outdoor recreational needs.

The Naked Truth: Where to git nekkid in public to enjoy the hot summer sun.

The Tour: Where to get a gander at great public art.

Bumper Crop: Your one-stop shopping guide to North Bay farmer’s markets.

Kids’ Stuff: How to keep the kids busy this summer.

Healthy Choice: How to put your health back in your own hands.

Fuzzy Feelings: Where to turn for pet-care help.

Can You Dig It? Where to get help plotting your own organic veggie garden.

Good Morning, Sunshine: Where to find a great breakfast.

Spectral Season: Where to find the free spirit(s) of the North Bay.

Mystery Spot: Where to get free physics lessons and good country drive.

From the July 19-25, 2001 issue of the Northern California Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Nude Recreation

[ Insider’s Guide Index ]

The Naked Truth

Where to git nekkid in public to enjoy the hot summer sun

SUMMER has no uniform. That’s half the season’s fun: you can wear whatever the hell you want, from flip-flops and tank tops to absolutely nothing at all. Of course, if you’re going to dive in to California’s time-honored tradition of public nudity, you’d better know what you’re doing. If you’re a veteran, you don’t need help from us. But beginners beware, ’cause skinny dipping, nude sunbathing, and naked Frisbee aren’t as easy as they look!

First tip: use plenty of sunscreen. Second tip: use a little more sunscreen. Third tip: exercise your traditional git-naked rights carefully and with respect for others by stripping down at the starter-list of North Bay nude beaches below.

One final caution: law enforcement attitudes and popular opinion toward nude beaches vary from county to county. People do get tickets for going bare, even on the beach. The Marin County district attorney has a decades-old tradition of dropping anti-nudity charges. Sonoma County, on the other hand, has strict anti-nudity laws, which is why many local nudists head north to Mendocino County, which is bare country.–P.S.

Sonoma County

Wohler Bridge
This popular beach on the Russian River is located on Sonoma County Water Agency land. From Highway 101, take River Road west, turn right on Wohler, cross the bridge, and park in a lot on the right. Walk back to the south side of the bridge, climb over the steel fence, and follow the paved path past the public beach to a riverside footpath, which leads to the clearing.

Marin County

Red Rock Beach
This is one of the most popular nude beaches in the North Bay, probably because it offers a quarter mile of sand, a mellow vibe, and even a few celebrity sightings (think Wavy Gravy, not J. Lo). From Highway 101, take Highway 1 north toward Stinson Beach. Pass the Muir Beach cutoff point and go about five and half miles north to a dirt lot full of cars to the left. The lot is one mile south of Stinson Beach. Park, then take the long, steep trail down to the beach.

Mendocino County

Upper Russian River
This quiet, sandy beach on the Russian River is located just three miles north of the Sonoma County line. From Highway 101, turn left on Cominsky Station Road, follow Cominsky to its end, park, and then walk down to the beach.

[ Insider’s Guide Index | ]

From the July 19-25, 2001 issue of the Northern California Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

‘A.I.’

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Robo Job

Susie Bright on ‘A.I.’ & the joy of robot sex

Writer David Templeton takes interesting people to interesting movies in his ongoing quest for the ultimate post-film conversation. This is not a review; rather, it’s a freewheeling, tangential discussion of art, alternative ideas, and popular culture.

HOLY FEMBOTS! The rambunctiously opinionated sexpert and author Susie Bright–who’s got something intriguing to say on almost every topic–has just seen the new film A.I.: Artificial Intelligence–in which an abandoned robot boy obsesses about his “mother” and randy android stud-muffins service sex-starved humans.

You can bet Bright has a lot to say about that.

Of course, Steven Spielberg’s new sci-fi fantasy seems to be inspiring plenty of heated debate, with moviegoers neatly divided between those who were dazzled by the tale of the man-made boy who longs to be real (Haley Joel Osment) and those who, basically, hated every minute of it.

Susie Bright is among the latter. “I’d rather have been frozen in ice for 2,000 years than to have sat through that ill-conceived, wretched bore of a film,” she says, offering a concise critique that, in most circles, would loudly signal the end of the conversation. Fortunately, A.I. has some pretty interesting sex in it, so our discussion is hardly over yet.

Implied, and never explicit, the sexual activity in A.I. is accomplished by a handsome, fully functional sex-bot named Gigolo Joe, played by the handsome, fully functional Jude Law. “Once you’ve had me,” he tells one woman, activating the internal robotic boom box that plays corny love songs on command, “You’ll never want a real man again.” Indeed. It appears that Gigolo Joe’s customers always come away satisfied.

“That could have been a great movie,” says Bright, “just about him and his assignations. I always wanted to have sex with Data, the android from Star Trek: The Next Generation,” she happily confesses. “I’d do Gigolo Joe in a minute! Though I didn’t like his ‘jukebox.’ I’d press the mute button, I think!”

Such thoughts are the nuts and bolts of Susie Bright’s colorfully off-color career. The reigning Cheerleader Queen of Unapologetic Sex, the Santa Cruz-based provocateur is the celebrated author of The Sexual State of the Union and the brand-new How to Read/Write a Dirty Story. She has also covered sexual issues for Salon and hosts a weekly audio show on her susiebright.com website.

And every now and then, she has sex with robots. “Oh yes, I enjoy sex toys of various descriptions,” Bright purrs.

As a former co-owner of San Francisco’s world-famous sex-toy emporium Good Vibrations, Bright has an affection for state-of-the-art mechanical sex partners that is, um, well documented. She duly points out now that just the question–“Would you have sex with a robot?”–implies that there’s something unnatural about the idea of having intimate knowledge of an appliance.

“Human beings use human-made products to deal with every aspect of our lives, both intimate and practical,” she says. “Why draw the line at sex?”

We certainly don’t draw the line at peopling our movies with sexy android love slaves. Are all the touchy-feely robotrons in films like A.I. merely expressions of a basic human desire to find the perfect lover?

“That’s one fantasy,” Bright allows, “but it’s also the natural taste for variety that every libido is driven toward. We are genetically ‘programmed’ to want to try something new! I’d like to have sex with the perfect robot. With a robot, you don’t have to wonder if they’re having a good time, did they come, will they respect you, blah blah blah. The robot will not ‘judge’ you in the least. They don’t need you, but they will service you.

“Obviously, this wouldn’t be fulfilling as a relationship,” she adds.

“But it could be very intriguing and fun sex. And now that I put it that way . . . hey! Bring on the vacuum cleaners!”

From the July 12-18, 2001 issue of the Northern California Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Theatre Vampier

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Shadow of the vampire: Stephan Buchanan is building a new nest–Theatre Vampier–in Petaluma .

House of Blood

North Bay’s only all-vampire theater company rises again

THE BUILDING itself is nondescript. A former mill house, it’s one of many such structures in Petaluma, all slightly spooky, all reminders of the town’s ancient agricultural identity. The cityscape is crammed with these ominous gray hulks–misshapen, improbably architectured, entirely swaddled in dented, rusting corrugated metal. There is little about this one that would turn anyone’s head, nothing to make you wonder about who, or what, lived and worked inside that big old building.

Never in a thousand years, if you had them, would you guess that up those steps and beyond those gray walls lies the lair of a vampire.

Stephan Buchanan is that vampire–and he’s standing at the door, beckoning me inside.

“Hi,” he says, warmly shaking my hand. “Let me just finish with the photographer, and then you’ll have my undivided attention.”

Buchanan, in high spirits this evening, is dressed in his standard uniform: black tights, black shoes, a black sleeveless shirt, close-cropped hair that’s bleached white–and a big, friendly smile exposing a set of nice sharp teeth.

Clearly, this is a vampire with something to smile about.

Buchanan, an experienced dancer, choreographer, painter, and teacher, is the director of the NeoDanze Performance Companie, a one-of-a-kind dance-theater troupe specializing in vampire-themed performance works.

Something of a legend in San Francisco and the North Bay, NeoDanze all but disappeared from the scene six years ago. The company’s last major offering, a traveling production of the blood-soaked epic Nosferatu in the Valley of the Moon, was in November of 1995. While continuing to teach dance three times a week, Buchanan decided it was time to reorganize and took a pseudo-sabbatical.

Then, five years ago, he found the old mill he currently occupies.

Where others may have seen only dusty, junk-filled caverns and spooky, pigeon-fouled lofts, Buchanan saw the future: a base of operations for NeoDanze that could hold a dance studio, rehearsal spaces, dressing rooms, storage facilities, and a custom- designed, vampirically decorated stage area. The Theatre Vampier.

“I’m establishing a nest,” Buchanan says. “Which in vampire parlance means a hangout for the undead. We’ll be able to upset hundreds of people, instead of just scores.”

Buchanan plans, for the time being, to keep the Theatre Vampier closed to the general public. While NeoDanze will continue to produce shows for the public, probably using venues they’ve been successful at in the past, such as Spreckels Center and the Luther Burbank Center, events at the Theatre Vampier will initially be “invitation only.”

Having established a website (www.theatrevampier.com), Buchanan has taken the step of hiring a part-time assistant to answer the phones and handle the e-mail, which has been steady.

“Ninety-eight percent of the people who write are cool,” he says, “but the other 2 percent are just plain strange people.”

Finally, Buchanan has invited the press in for a look around. It’s a tour that is anything but run of the mill.

“WATCH YOUR STEP on the mill stairs,” Buchanan cautions, leading the way up to his living area. “They have a difference cadence than normal stairs.”

Different cadence indeed. There is little about Buchanan’s vampire lair that isn’t different, from the gargoyles at the foot of the steps and the paintings of bleeding, sharp-fanged nudes on the walls to the dangling chains–not a few of which are attached to the big, black, Edgar Allan Poe-like, four-poster bed in the loft–and the massive, round spider-web window that lets in the moonlight on bright, fogless nights.

Everywhere you look, there are things with teeth and horns: masks, dolls, mannequins, sculptures. As one might expect, this place is like something out of a horror movie: creepy, cluttered, shadowy–and very, very cool.

Downstairs is the studio: a vast, sprung dance floor, painted in concentric circles, over which hangs a wrought-iron chandelier formed in the shape of a pentagram. Up a flight of steps is the loft that will be La Fleur du Mal, a dress shop specializing in vampire couture and what Buchanan calls “wedding gowns for the undead.” In the next room is another studio, which Buchanan plans to use to make custom gargoyle sculptures, and beyond that is another room that, according to plan, will feature a forge for the creation of “ritual knives and daggers.”

The Theatre Vampier it seems, will be a full-service vampire nest.

“WOULD YOU like some wine?” Buchanan offers. My host–who laughs mischievously when asked his age, then places it at 2,185–points to a glass container on the kitchen table. Inside are some pieces of wood and something big and black and very still.

“My oldest black widow just died,” he explains.

Taking a seat in a dimly lit corner of the room, Buchanan fills in a few details about his past. A self-taught artist, he’s worked in all aspects of the theater, in half a dozen countries, including England, Canada, and Australia. He established the first NeoDanze company in England, pioneering his own performance style, which incorporates modern dance, martial arts, and sword fighting.

The son of a Boston contractor, Buchanan worked odd construction jobs to support his endeavors–a craft he still practices part-time–eventually building a side career as a movie set builder (Superman, The Empire Strikes Back, Silkwood) and as a movie extra. Among other roles, while living in England he played a storm trooper in Star Wars and a hawkman in Flash Gordon before coming back to America.

Around 10 years ago, he was bitten by the vampire craze, then in high swing, fueled by the phenomenally popular Anne Rice books.

“Why vampires?” I ask.

“It’s the power and eroticism of vampires that attract me,” he explains. “The vampire is the perfect vehicle for all my art and my spirituality. They are invulnerable and sexy.

“Besides,” he adds, with a semi-wicked smile, “there’s nothing better than young, naked prey.”

I mention that, according to the media, the vampire phenomenon is pretty much passé. “Isn’t it?”

“Right, vampires are passé,” Buchanan says, smiling. “That’s why there are over 10,000 vampire-themed websites on the Web. That’s why, every few months, a new vampire movie is released or begins production. That’s why, every Halloween, the vampire is the most popular costume on the market. Because it’s passé.

“The vampire,” he continues, “is the oldest and best-known supernatural creature in the world, appearing, in some version, in nearly every culture on the planet. But vampires are passé.

“Personally, I plan to be a vampire forever.”

From the July 12-18, 2001 issue of the Northern California Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

‘Teddy Bears’ Picnic’

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‘Teddy Bears’ Picnic’ satirical take on Bohemian Grove

By Maja Wood

The film Teddy Bears’ Picnic opens with this cautious disclaimer: “There is a real place in the California redwood country where America’s richest and most powerful white men have gathered every summer for more than a century to cavort like college sophomores on an unlimited budget.

“This motion picture, our lawyers have asked us to emphasize, is not about that place.”

But, shhh! Guess what? The movie really is about this secretive spot.

And even as the power elite gather at the Bohemian Grove near Monte Rio these next couple of weeks, this film spoofing their antics is making the rounds on the festival circuit.

The low-budget Teddy Bears’ Picnic, featuring an ensemble cast that includes Morgan Fairchild, George Wendt, and Michael McKean, debuted in March at the U.S. Comedy Arts Festival in Aspen, Colo. The Visonbox Pictures film, shot entirely in digital, is now under consideration for inclusion in the upcoming Wine Country Film Festival here in the North Bay.

EVER SINCE the Bohemian Grove gatherings began more than 100 years ago, speculation has run wild about what actually goes on when the rich and mighty meet among the redwoods. The rumors run the gamut. Are world leaders gathering in an Illuminati-like conspiracy to determine the fate of the planet? Are they practicing satanic rituals? And are virgins being sacrificed?

“The question I kept in mind while making this film was ‘How close does the gathering come to the lurid fears of conspiracy theorists?’ ” says Harry Shearer, the writer, director, and co-producer of Teddy Bears’ Picnic.

Shearer may be best known as the co-creator and co-star of the classic mock-rockumentary This Is Spinal Tap. But he’s also appeared in films like The Truman Show, Independence Day, The Right Stuff, and Edtv. And for the past 13 years, he has provided the voices of Mr. Burns, Smithers, and Ned Flanders on The Simpsons.

For Shearer, Teddy Bears’ Picnic was a labor of love, a personal project into which he poured considerable personal energy. He sees it as a social satire rather than a leftist political statement.

“Some world manipulation does take place whenever these people get together, and these guys like spending time with each other as opposed to spending time with people who don’t have power,” Shearer says. “But what’s really surprising is the extent to which the gathering resembles an overbudgeted, overblown frat party gone wild.

“Part of the weirdness and the charm is that at this stage what these men really want the most in the world is to recapitulate their sophomore year in college.”

The drunken mayhem, the dressing up in women’s clothes, the hunt for hookers: it’s all there in Teddy Bears’ Picnic. In his research, Shearer interviewed many men who had attended the Bohemian Grove gathering, as well as people who worked there, including prostitutes. He was also allowed to peruse the archives located at the organization’s headquarters at the Bohemian Club in San Francisco, where, he says, the group has “lovingly archived their plays” and other events.

And Shearer was able to do some additional research and fact-checking when he was invited to the grove six years ago as a guest for a weekend retreat. “They didn’t know I was making the movie, and I didn’t say, ‘Hey guys, guess what?’ ” he says. “I kept my eyes open to see how well the story matched the reality, and it turned out the film was pretty right on.”

For example, there was the Saturday morning that the head of large multinational construction firm was found face down in the golf course, sleeping off the booze from the night before.

But Shearer did glean a little new information from his stay and made the appropriate adjustments. For instance, he learned that each lodge at the grove has its own specialty drink. And so, in tribute, the cocktail the Wood Nymph was added to the film.

Shearer isn’t the only one involved with the film who has attended the Bohemian Grove. George Wendt, best known as Norm in the television sitcom Cheers, plays the alcohol-swilling Gen. Gerberding. And he agrees with the accuracy of Shearer’s script: “I’ve been up to Bohemian Grove, and it’s a lot like this. They even had protesters out in front of the gates. It was a bizarre experience to pee on a tree with Henry Kissinger and slam drinks with William F. Buckley.”

Of course, that tree-peeing tidbit went into the movie as well. In fact, the “Tree of Zeus” segment of the film was one of the most difficult to shoot. Since the movie was made on a shoestring budget, almost all the filming was scheduled close to home in Southern California. But the crew was unable to find a redwood tree without a palm in the background, so they had to travel to Lake Arrowhead for that particular shot.

To Shearer, a story of the power elite running amok in the woods sounded like the makings of a wonderful comedy. Yet, this is the first nondocumentary film ever made about the Bohemian Grove gathering.

“In this country, we like to think that we are without a class system,” Shearer says. “But actually, we are obsessed with class and power.”

And that is one of the many reasons people like to talk about what is happening under the redwoods. “The most efficient way of disproving the wild talk is to allow reporters up there,” Shearer says. “But they don’t, and to an extent, they encourage the lurid speculation. And I think they like all the rumors to a degree. They must get some kind of perverse pleasure in it.”

From the July 12-18, 2001 issue of the Northern California Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

3 Doors Down

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Super Group

A ‘Better Life’ for 3 Doors Down

By Alan Sculley

IT WOULD BE logical to think that 3 Doors Down knew they had a hit on their hands with the song “Kryptonite” well before that song was ever released as the lead single from the band’s first CD, The Better Life. A version of the song, included on an early self-released CD, landed on the playlist of WCPR in Biloxi, Miss., and stayed in rotation for 25 weeks.

The success of that song helped 3 Doors Down get a major label deal with Republic Records, part of the Universal Records group. But guitarist Chris Henderson says the band didn’t come onto the national scene with heightened expectations because of the early success of “Kryptonite.”

“What happens is we’re from the South, and the South is like its own little world down there, especially where we live, Mississippi,” he says. “It’s like living in a bubble. We thought while it did well here, what does that mean? This is one of the smallest markets in America. It did well here. That doesn’t mean it’s going to do well in New York City. Come on, those people there are bombarded with every different type of music you can think of.”

Obviously, “Kryptonite” has gone a long way–right to the top of the mainstream rock chart–and far enough to have propelled 3 Doors Down’s debut CD on its way toward 5 million in sales. And with a two other singles, “Loser” and “Duck and Run,” having hit the upper reaches of Billboard magazine’s modern rock charts, it’s clear that there’s more to 3 Doors Down than “Kryptonite.”

The success of The Better Life is quite an achievement, given the humble beginnings of this band. 3 Doors Down were formed by singer/drummer Brad Arnold, bassist Todd Harrell, and guitarists Matt Roberts and Henderson about five years ago in the small Mississippi town of Escatawpa. (A drummer, Richard Liles, has since joined, enabling Arnold to move out front as singer.) The group built a following by playing around the Southeast, recording their indie CD to sell at gigs in 1997. But it was a decision to pursue a slot on a “homegrown” show dedicated to area talent on WCPR that eventually paid the biggest dividends for 3 Doors Down. Over the course of a year, the band made some 10 appearances on either the WCPR’s “homegrown” show or the station’s morning show before “Kryptonite” was added to the playlist and record labels tuned into the band.

Judging from the material on The Better Life, 3 Doors Down’s songs were far better than the band thought when producer Paul Ebersold got involved in the project. With a guitar rock sound that sits comfortably alongside mainstream acts like Matchbox Twenty and Third Eye Blind, songs like “Kryptonite” (known for its line “If I go crazy, then will you still call me Superman”), “Not Enough,” “Better Life,” and “Loser” are all built around meaty guitar riffs and melodic vocals. Though 3 Doors Down are hardly innovative in style, one thing that separates them from bands like Matchbox Twenty and Third Eye Blind is that their songs are built around heavier guitars, which add an appealing dose of crunch to the band’s sound.

THE APPROACH 3 Doors Down take to music is as straightforward as it seems. “I think that the key to rock and roll in America today–this is just my opinion–is you want to keep it simple, and you want a groove in there; you want harmony and you want melody,” Henderson says. “You just want simple songs that people can relate to, songs about life, everyday life, because what everybody is faced with every day is everyday life.”

With sales of The Better Life climbing past quadruple platinum, it’s possible that 3 Doors Down could be the Matchbox Twenty of 2001, a band that seemingly comes out of nowhere and sees its debut CD become a monster hit. Henderson isn’t fazed by the idea of the band selling upwards of 10 million albums.

“That’s what we want, that’s what we’ve always wanted. That’s what anybody in a band wants,” he says. “I look at it like this: There are so many people in bands who want to do this, and there are so many bands that don’t make it, that aren’t successful. One or two are, so when you’re successful, man, you’ve got to take it and run with it. There are a lot of other bands that want to live the life through you. Basically, we owe it to ourselves and we owe it to everybody else and to all of our fans to do the best we can and take everything that comes to us. So as many records as they want to buy, man, . . . let it get as big as it possibly can get and we’ll handle it.”

By the same token, Henderson says he and his bandmates aren’t going to let the success of The Better Life become a distraction when it comes time to record the next CD.

“We’re going to approach our next record just like we approached our first one,” he says. “We’re going to write some songs, we’re going to go in the studio, and we’re going to see what happens. That’s really all you can do, and if you try too hard, you know what, you’re going to make a mistake and step on your feet.”

3 Doors Down headline Fox Fest 2001 on Saturday, July 14. Lifehouse, Tantric, and Seven Channels also perform at the Crusher’s Stadium in Rohnert Park. Gates open at 1 p.m. Music runs through the early evening. Tickets are $30. 707/543-0100.

From the July 12-18, 2001 issue of the Northern California Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Kenneth Cleaver

Consumer Correspondent

Hertz Rental Car 225 Brae Boulevard Park Ridge, NJ 07656

Dear Hertz:

I currently prostitute my intimate knowledge of Microsoft Word and my ability to operate a copy machine as an “office manager”; I’m partial to “Ethel.” When not engaged in the Zen of database maintenance, I arrange travel for my superiors. On more than one occasion, I have been hoodwinked by Hertz promotional coupons.

My mother has been known to wear through two scissors a year with her incessant clipping, so the lure of coupons, for me, is mere heredity. Be proud of your phone operators; they are detail-oriented workers, quick to inform me of the infinite clauses invalidating every coupon I’ve ever attempted to use. For instance, to save $15.00 off a week’s rental, the fine print tells me that a five-day reservation is required. I booked Sunday to Friday, a total of six days; no problem, right? Wrong! Because I was not renting on a Saturday, the offer was void. Nowhere on the coupon was this restriction mentioned.

Like many liberals, I do not believe in biblical justice until something happens to me. On the scale of human misery, this experience rates somewhere between a paper cut and an Oliver Stone film.

Sincerely, Kenneth H. Cleaver

Dear Mr. Cleaver:

This letter is in response to the letter you wrote to the Hertz Corporation. Please accept our apologies for the inconvenience that led you to write.

Thank you for taking the time to let us know of your experience. The Hertz Corporation’s goal is to provide the #1 service in the car industry, and it is a concern when we do not meet our expectations. I do apologize for the trouble you had with applying the coupons and for the overall quality service you received. Your experience has been shared with the management so they may take appropriate corrective action.

As a goodwill gesture I have enclosed a $25.00 rental certificate that you can use for your future rental needs. The Hertz rental certificate is good for one year at any one of our Hertz worldwide locations.

Your business is valued, and we hope you continue to use Hertz for your car rental needs.

Sincerely, Kristen Ritschl Customer Relations Correspondent

From the July 12-18, 2001 issue of the Northern California Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Bohemian Grove

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Groovin’ at the Grove

Big boys party and plot as activists besiege the gates

By Patrick Sullivan

“HOW DID you miss all those signs?” asks a peeved security guard, peering with narrowed eyes through the car window. “This is private property. You can’t be here. The public is not allowed.”

He’s got a point. The warnings are hard to miss: “Private road,” “No trespassing,” and a few other variations on the theme. Finally, there’s the guard station. And that is as much as most Sonoma County residents will ever see of the Bohemian Grove.

Still, it all seems relatively relaxed. A few snippy signs, a well-tanned watchman armed with a cell phone, and an open gate–surprisingly loose security for what’s supposed to be the most exclusive men’s club on the planet.

Of course, it’s still a few days before this 2,700-acre redwood resort near Monte Rio plays host to the 122nd annual gathering of some of the world’s most powerful men.

Film Bares All: ‘Teddy Bears’ Picnic’ satirical take on Bohemian Grove.

For a two-week period starting July 14, this rich man’s summer camp operated by the San Francisco Bohemian Club will bristle with an unrivaled arsenal of alpha males. Typical attendees range from high-profile big boys like former Nixon cabinet member Henry Kissinger to powerful corporate chieftains whose names wouldn’t draw a twitch of recognition from most folks on the street.

Looking for power? The Bohemian Grove is where it’s at. Never mind those tear gas-plagued meetings of the World Trade Organization; forget those turbulent Republican Party conventions. All those gatherings have to offer are politicians and bureaucrats–in other words, the kind of mere middle-management types who take marching orders from the bigwigs about to gather at the Bohemian Grove.

At least, that’s the way the system works in the eyes of Mary Moore, 65, a Camp Meeker activist who runs the Bohemian Grove Action Network. Since 1980, Moore and as many as 400 other demonstrators have held on-and-off protests outside the grove. One measure of Moore’s commitment: she will be spending her 66th birthday at the opening-day demonstration. Another measure: she occasionally refers to nonactivists as “you people.”

This year, with a conservative in the White House, interest in the protest has been high, drawing attendees from as far away as Colorado. This crowd plans to gather across from the Rio Theater on July 14 at 2 p.m. to march on the Bohemian Grove. A flyer put out by one participating organization–the San Francisco-based International Action Center–features a drawing of the storming of the Bastille. Remember the Battle in Seattle? Sonoma County just might be about to host the Rumble in the Redwoods.

What are these protesters so upset about? Moore is glad you asked. Frankly, she’s sick of being misunderstood. For her, the Bohemian Grove is a prime example of how America’s power elite make crucial decisions about the world behind an anti-democratic veil of secrecy.

But working against Moore’s serious purpose, she says, is the lurid reputation the grove has acquired.

Rumors have graduated to full-blown urban legends. The wildest allegation is that the annual gathering is a demonic ceremony in which virgins and/or children are sacrificed to dark supernatural powers. The satanic conspiracy theory is hotter than ever since a Texas radio-show host named Alex Jones snuck into the grove last year. Jones smuggled out video footage of the “Cremation of Care” ceremony, an annual ritual in which an effigy is burned to represent the death of dull responsibility. For Jones, it was irrefutable proof of Satanism; of course, he also believes secret U.N. soldiers are preparing to conquer the United States.

Photograph by Kerry Richardson

ON THE LIGHTER side, some assume Moore and her collaborators are simply upset about being excluded from what’s basically a giant frat party.

The annual gathering is usually portrayed as a retro recreational opportunity for the powerful–a chance for these mighty men to return to their carefree college days. Most informed sources agree on the popular activities: the guys get drunk, they walk around naked, they take a whiz on a redwood or two. And maybe they squeeze into a dress and participate in a burlesque show. Moronic? Maybe. But who gives a damn about such schoolboy antics?

Not Mary Moore.

“If they’re just up there getting drunk and peeing on trees and all that, I don’t care,” Moore says. “It’s what their policies are on the outside that affects you and me. That’s what we’re trying to bring to the public’s attention.”

Moore began protesting at the grove because she and some fellow activists wanted to put the heat on honchos in the nuclear power industry. But the one-time civil rights activist stuck with it because she quickly realized that most of her enemies gathered conveniently together five miles from her house every summer.

“No matter what your issue is, you can usually find some fat cat up there who represents what you’re fighting against,” observes Moore, who claims that the decision to drop the A-bomb on Hiroshima was made at the grove.

To prove that the Bohemian Grove is as much about serious thinking as it is about serious drinking, Moore offers a list of topics discussed at the grove’s annual lakeside chats. These lectures feature speakers like former Secretary of State James Baker and former British Prime Minister John Major addressing social and political issues.

Even Supreme Court justices make presentations.

“In 1997, [Justice Antonin] Scalia was up there speaking on church, state, and the Constitution,” Moore observes. “And you and I aren’t allowed to know what he had to say.

“I think that’s a really big deal.”

From the July 12-18, 2001 issue of the Northern California Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Spins

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Spin Doctors

New discs spotlight deejay action

By Karl Byrn

Greyboy Mastered the Art (Ubiquity)

Pete Rock Petestrumentals (BBE)

WHILE PURE, hard dance sounds like techno, house, and drum ‘n’ bass remain the face of electronica to the mainstream, DJ cut-and-paste abstractionists are really the heart of any of the field’s endlessly crossbreeding subgenres. San Diego DJ Greyboy is the go-to leader of San Francisco’s Ubiquity label, and he’s one heck of a groove crossbreeder. His third disc, Mastered the Art, is a typical DJ poly-stew, as Greyboy dips his brush into hybrids like acid-jazz ambiance, lounge hip-hop, world-folk big beat, and electro-trance soundtrackisms. What makes Mastered the Art a standout is Greyboy’s novel employment of Eurasian (especially Mediterranean) stringed instruments as not mere flavoring but as the foundation of several breakbeats–sitar power chords in the title track, slabs of ukelele anchoring scratching on “Hold It Down,” plucked harp figures and Spanish guitar in place of hip-hop’s piano loops on the very Wu-Tang Clanish cuts “Uknowmylife” and “Smokescreen.” Much of the disc evokes a soundtrack without seeming as if it would work as a soundtrack, which is good–Greyboy is at his strongest when he messes up his own jazzy slickness with dirty global funk. A more subtly stunning piece of DJ groove-collage work is Pete Rock’s Petestrumentals. Rock’s second outing sans his rapper-partner CL Smooth, the disc is technically a set of hip-hop/jazz instrumentals, but the sturdy smooth-lounge tracks speak in a voice that’s majestically controlled and independent. Rock’s craft is complex understatement, using simplicity to layer depth into spare grooves and inverting normal ideas. On “Hip Hopcrisy,” a piano loop is spliced, diced, and recombined at multiple angles over a monotone bass pulse. Two cuts later, on “Pete’s Jazz,” a vibraphone loop plays the part of droning thump while bass provides melody and color. Petestrumentals is a must for fans of abstract hip-hop; as a plus for electronica fans, the consistent beats could edit into a rave club mix as easily as the distant, spacey fills could add warmth to a trance festival.

Gorillaz Gorillaz (Virgin)

Tricky Blowback (Hollywood)

NORCAL avant-garde hip-hop producer Dan the Automator trademarks himself with smart funk-collage collaborations like Handsome Boy Modeling School, but his latest project, Gorillaz (with Blur’s Damon Albarn), is a limited loop of casual clichés. Gorillaz was created as a cartoon, but as Cheez Whiz it’s not only low-fat and low-sodium, there’s barely enough aerosol to push the corn out of the can. The beats and grooves are weak, peppered plentifully with global-kitsch hooks that are as fake as the druggy pseudo-dread of the disc’s reggae-dub ambiance. When Buena Vista Social Club vocalist Ibrahim Ferrer guest stars on one cut, it’s as if the Automator is saying, “Hey, we’re Latin, too!” But like every empty, silly nuance on Gorillaz, that Latin nod is a dumbing down to an alt-rock notion of Funky Stoopid. Like the Automator, trip-hop point man Tricky has also traded groove innovation for alt-funk clichés. Guest stars don’t help him either; on his new disc, Blowback, the presence of the Red Hot Chili Peppers on two cuts shows Tricky meeting the mainstream halfway with tame aggro-funk where he once ignited the underground with edgy electro-soundscapes. Tricky no longer seems an auteur presenting trip-hop as the dark side of electronica’s family tree; if the disc’s title and smoking-kiss cover art suggest a metaphor for breathing one’s own exhaust, then the damage of such secondhand smoke is evidenced on the disc’s smartest moment, a trite recasting of Nirvana’s “Something in the Way” as synth-pop with tropical accents.

From the July 12-18, 2001 issue of the Northern California Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Sonoma County Showcase of Wine and Food 2001

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Photograph by Rory MacNamara

Local Flavor

Chefs prepare for showcase foodie event

By Paula Harris

THE SONOMA COUNTY Showcase of Wine and Food 2001 signature event “The Taste of Sonoma County,” happening Saturday at the gloriously landscaped Richard’s Grove and Saralee’s Vineyard in Windsor, is the sort of gourmet extravaganza that makes your taste buds reel, your mouth water, and your wallet go into cardiac shock.

And foodies, winers, locals, and day-trippers love it.

Last year minivans whisked in epicures, wine connoisseurs, and all the rest to a veritable (though civilized–no drunken brawls here) feeding frenzy as some 1,100 event-goers drooled at the bounty awaiting them in the shady white-tented pavilions.

It was a joyous summertime clash of straw sun hats, designer shades, and Hawaiian print shirts brushing floral shoulders as their wearers wielded clear plastic food trays and souvenir wine glasses. Across the banquet tables, caterers scrambled to plate the elaborate tapas-sized hors d’oeuvres and pour the seemingly never-ending flow of ultra-premium wines. The ambiance was festive–the moods set to a pleasant vino-induced buzz, the stomachs slowly filling.

Last year’s exotic munchies included poached scallops lounging on Asian pears, heirloom potatoes decorated with shaved truffles, and slivers of Liberty duck, salmon, and lobster mini “burgers” atop tiny aïoli-smeared buns.

This year promises to top it with even more participants. “There are going to be more wineries and more attendees,” avers showcase director Michelle Danzer. At presstime, according to Danzer, the number of tickets sold for the Taste of Sonoma County event are reaching 13,000 (with tickets still available).

On Saturday, more than 70 vintners and 40 local and national chefs will offer more epicurean excess inside four pavilions–one for each of the appellations of the Russian River Valley, the Alexander Valley, the Dry Creek Valley, and Sonoma/ Carneros. This year the extravagant presentations of Sonoma County edible products will focus on Mediterranean flavors.

The Taste of Sonoma County and a separate event later in the evening–an al fresco concert by the San Francisco Symphony and country-swing legends Asleep at the Wheel at Sonoma-Cutrer Winery–are the culmination of a heady three-day stint of grape-and-gourmet-related revelry.

THE SONOMA County Showcase of Wine and Food, sponsored by the Sonoma County Wineries Association, is the county’s answer to the prestigious and pricey Napa Wine Auction, which last month raised $7.6 million for charity.

In contrast, last year the Sonoma County barrel and silent auctions raised some $446,000. Though its scale and prices trail the Napa event, the Sonoma County showcase (which also features appellation tours, winery dinners, a golf tournament, and more) is certainly a splurge. This year, some visitors will be shelling out $735 per person for a three-day event package. Entrance to the Taste of Sonoma County is $150 a pop.

The showcase raises money for anti-hunger programs Share Our Strength and the Redwood Empire Food Bank. And while some sweat it out sprinting, bicycling, or swimming for charity (as in the grueling Vineman and Ironman triathlons), these folks raise dough by running around the kitchen.

Josh Silvers, chef owner of Santa Rosa’s Syrah restaurant, who last year served up house-cured salmon with homemade crackers at the Taste event, says he’s been inspired this year to offer up corn and crab cakes with lemon poppy seed slaw and chunky tartare sauce. “It’s a blast,” Silvers says of the event, adding that he’s is looking forward to sharing space in the Russian River appellation pavilion with his old cooking buddies, chefs Ray Tang of Mariposa restaurant in Windsor and Jesse Malgren of Madrona Manor in Healdsburg.

With the crab cakes, Silvers recommends a dry rosé. “It’s summer in a glass,” he enthuses. “Not a sickly, fruity white zin, but one that’s bone dry.”

Silvers is so enamored of the varietal, he plans to offer seven styles in his restaurant.

As for other food and wine combos, Silvers recommends pinot noir for fish, chicken, and light meats; and syrah for grilled lamb, steak, bacon-tinged sauces, and barbecued burgers.

HOWEVER, not everyone is so content with the event. Some local chefs wonder why national chefs are participating while some local cooks have been passed over. Chef Derek McCarthy of Healdsburg’s popular 1-year-old Tastings Restaurant mentions that he wasn’t invited to participate. “I guess it’s an invitation situation and the more you’re out there, the more people will take notice,” he says. “I guess it’s just a matter of time.”

Showcase director Danzer explains that five national chefs, plus two from San Francisco, are being brought in by the national charity Share Our Strength and by the event’s sponsor, Food and Wine magazine. All the rest are from Sonoma County. “We send out letters of invitation requesting attendance,” she says. “We try to coordinate it so we go all over the county, but space is limited.”

If finances are also limited in your own wallet, chefs say, it’s easy to put together your own food and wine pairing session on your own patio or around the backyard barbecue grill.

Sondra Bernstein–owner of Sonoma’s Girl and the Fig and Glen Ellen’s Girl and the Gaucho–who says she may be going to the event as a guest, agrees that a rosé as dry as John Cleese’s humor is a good choice for a sizzling day. “Try it with grilled prawns–grill them right on the barbecue and drizzle them with perfumey basil oil or pepper oil,” she advises. “The coolness of the wine will balance everything.”

And McCarthy, although not participating, is happy to share his recommendation. “It’s a mahi mahi ceviche with mango, melon, lemon, and lime paired with viognier,” he says. “You can pair it with the Preston, which is from Sonoma County.”

Of course (don’t tell the showcase organizers), you can venture out of Sonoma County for your own summer tasting shindig. Bernstein reveals she’s discovered that albarino, a white wine made with grapes grown in the northwest of Spain in Galicia, is a good marriage with steamed clams, ceviche, and fresh fruit salad. “It’s the ultimate hot-day pairing,” she says. “Try it at home.”

But for those who venture to the showcase events this weekend, Danzer has some final advice. “I want people to learn about Sonoma County, not just that it’s a world-class wine-growing region, but that it has great chefs and products,” she says. “I want them to have a good time and leave educated–oh, and happy.”

Weekend Whirl

The snazzy Sonoma County Showcase of Wine and Food is a three-day blowout highlighting the highlife here in wineland. The event is sponsored by the Sonoma Wineries Foundation, and proceeds benefit anti-hunger programs Share Our Strength and the Redwood Empire Food Bank. Prices are per person. Here’s the rundown:

Thursday, July 12, from 3 to 11 p.m. Appellation Tours and Winery Dinners. Guests tour various appellations of Sonoma County and mingle with growers and vintners at four wineries (Chateau Souverain, Gallo of Sonoma, Imagery Winery, and Dutton Ranch). Includes barrel tasting, tours, and dinner. $155.

Thursday, July 12, Golf Tournament at Windsor Golf Club. Participation is limited, call (see below) for details. $150.

Friday, July 13, from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m., winery luncheons at various locations. $75.

Friday, July 13, from 4:30 to 11 p.m. Gala Dinner and Barrel Auction at the Kendall-Jackson Wine Center. Bid, sample wines, and enjoy a multicourse meal prepared by five prominent Sonoma County chefs. $225.

Saturday, July 14, from noon to 5 p.m. The Taste of Sonoma County–signature event highlighting the foods and wines of the county. Plus cooking demonstrations and a silent auction. At Richard’s Grove and Saralee’s Vineyard in Windsor. $150.

Saturday, July 14, from 6:30 to 11 p.m. The San Francisco Symphony culminates the weekend’s events in an evening concert on the lawns of Sonoma-Cutrer Winery. Following the concert will be a fireworks display and dancing to live western swing music by Asleep at the Wheel. $95.

For more information, call 800/939-7666 or log into www.sonomawine.com.

From the July 12-18, 2001 issue of the Northern California Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

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