‘The Closer You Get’

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The Closer You Get.

Black Irish

Blarney-filled ‘The Closer You Get’ doesn’t even come close

By Nicole McEwan

IN 1997, a wee British import took the world by storm, grossing many millions, garnishing four Oscar nominations, and adding a new catch phrase to the international lexicon. Male stripping, once solely synonymous with the Chippendales, now became known as doing the Full Monty.

A certifiable phenomenon, Peter Cattaneo’s comedy with a social conscience made Robert Carlyle a star and proved to general audiences that British cinema didn’t have to wear a hoop skirt and a bustle to be good.

Because show business is just that–a business–any overnight cinematic sensation creates a slew of half-assed spinoffs and watered-down imitations. This explains why we’ve been watching Tarantino-esque films ever since Pulp Fiction went huge.

This idea is one reasonable explanation for Aileen Ritchie’s mediocre The Closer You Get, produced by The Full Monty‘s Uberto Pasolini.

This featherweight comedy (with a social conscience, natch) details the all-too-precious exploits of five quirky Irish guys who also go to extremes–not to get paid but to get laid.

Horny, shy, daft, and just plain tired of relying on the luck of the Irish, five pub regulars hatch a plan to place an ad in a Miami newspaper. Led by Kieran (Ian Hart)–a man who punctuates every sentence by adjusting his wanker–they hope their inflated promises will attract a bevy of hot-blooded all-American beauties to their tiny village, which is a little low on sun-kissed calendar girls. And, with a bit of coaxing, the sleepy town agrees to throw a party to celebrate the babes’ anticipated arrival.

It’s not the guys’ fault, really. They’ve been stranded by fate in County Donegal, in a place where the sheep see more action than the population. The priest has never officiated at a wedding, and the local girls have minds of their own.

The ad posted, the gents go about their preparations, and some of the film’s most successful humor comes from their efforts, which range from pushups to hair dye to sex manuals (one sorry lad is a virgin).

The women, some jaded by failed romance, some buoyed by common sense, simply watch and wait. Besides, when you live in a town this incestuous, any stranger’s face is a friendly one. And who knows? Maybe American women really are dumb enough to fall for a goofy smile and an Irish accent.

The film’s central idea–that contemporary men often overlook real-life quality women to chase media-derived centerfold fantasies–was explored with greater depth and insight in the Ted Demme gem Beautiful Girls.

Indeed, Closer holds very few surprises. Because William Ivory’s script is such a paint-by-numbers affair, the movie conveys only a sad sense of what might have been. The potential for a savvy exploration of transcontinental stereotyping is hinted at in Closer’s opening scenes, but never developed.

The Closer You Get delivers about what you’d expect if you and your glass of green beer got stranded next to a drunken Irish-American on St. Patrick’s Day: roughly 90 minutes of occasionally entertaining blarney.

‘The Closer You Get’ screens at Sebastopol Cinemas and in Santa Rosa at Rialto Cinemas Lakeside. For details, see Movie Times, page 40, or call 829-3456.

From the April 6-12, 2000 issue of the Sonoma County Independent.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Spins

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Pop Life

New CDs by Madonna (sort of), Disturbed, plus Harry Nillson reissued

Madonna The Next Best Thing (Maverick Records)

BEST DESCRIBED as “looking for love in a hall of mirrors,” Madonna and producer William Orbit’s gambit on this soundtrack is to surround real Madonna vocal tracks –“American Pie,” “Time Stood Still”–with mimicked ones. At the start, you get princess Christina Aguilera in a warble-strut mode, resembling something off Madonna’s Like a Prayer LP. Right after “Pie” is Mandalay’s sexy-as-hell synth-housescape tune “This Life,” with whispers and eroticized huffing all in their proper places. This begs the question: How much could Madonna win in court for self-plagiarism? Edward Crouse

Disturbed The Sickness (Giant)

THIS HEAVY four-piece band from Chicago would go over well on the metal scene. Although Disturbed lift from bands like Korn, Tool, Ministry, and Static-X, the result is reasonably distinctive and cleanly produced. Vocalist David Draiman barks out abrupt, screaming vocals full of stream-of-consciousness lyrics and metal-rap verse. From the fast-paced “Voices”–a metal assault full of electronic swirls, pulses, and scratches–Disturbed take detours into Orgy-styled dance beats (“The Game”), ghetto synths (“Fear”), and tribal rhythms (“Down with the Sickness” and “Conflict”). The most striking song is the twisted “Meaning of Life,” with the repetitive lyrics “wanna get psycho.” The band also covers Tears for Fears’ “Shout” (“Shout 2000”). Disturbed are consistently heavy on bass, percussion, and guitar, and their complex songs are full of melody. Though it’s not doing anything revolutionary, the band is a solid addition to the neo-industrial rock-metal movement. Sarah Quelland

Nilsson Nilsson Sings Newman (Buddha Records)

NSN’S 30TH-ANNIVERSARY reissue edition finds both Randy Newman’s early songs and Harry Nilsson’s decathlete voice ageless. Newman’s piano playing is quiet and spare, and can’t help but sound humbled by the labyrinthine multitracked vocals. “I’ll Be Home,” for instance, has Harry singing plaintive lead while acting as his own call-and-response gospel squad. But hearing him growl like Mahalia Jackson is just half of the matter. While the vocal personalities are densely webbed, their beauty transcends their status as whirligig gimmicks. Nilsson’s team of voices peel away at Newman’s firm, almost filmic sensibility (“The milk truck hauls the sun up/ the paper hits the door/ and the subway shakes my floor/ and I think about you”). It’s still luscious. E.C.

From the April 6-12, 2000 issue of the Sonoma County Independent.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

The Compleat Wrks of Wllm Shkspre (Abridged)

The Compleat Wrks of Wllm Shkspre (Abridged).

Bad Bard

Santa Rosa Players shortchange Shakespeare

By Daedalus Howell

THE SANTA ROSA Players’ production of The Compleat Wrks of Wllm Shkspre (Abridged) is like a bad date on which one still miraculously manages to get laid. It’s all about the last 15 minutes.

The three-player cast (Cheri Dumay, Jon Vissman, and David Templeton, who is a freelance writer for the Sonoma County Independent) shoots through a distilled, extremely silly version of Shakespeare’s canon at breakneck speed while deploying a barrage of slapstick numbers.

The shtick-filled script, written by Daniel Singer, Adam Long, and Jess Borgenson with liberal smatterings of Shakespeare’s original text, has some flaws, though it has worked well for other companies.

But in this production, directed by Carl Hamilton, the premise is more interesting than its execution. In part that’s because the actors careen through text after text at a desperately fast pace. The trio often speak so quickly that they’re hard to understand. Moreover, the cast leans toward a hard delivery, perhaps hoping that a big voice would deliver big laughs. Usually, though, subtlety would have been more appropriate.

The breakneck pace slows down a bit to an enjoyable speed when the tumbling troika launches into an abbreviated Hamlet. The players first do the Dane abridged and then perform a second, faster version, followed by a incredibly brief third version. Finally, they perform Hamlet backward, proving that “bard” spelled backward isn’t always “drab.”

After the dopey shtick of the first act, this payoff is profoundly satisfying. Unfortunately, many audience members in opening night’s half-capacity house will never know this because they exited during the intermission. Those with a heartier constitution, however, received these last-minute high jinks with roaring laughter.

Highlights include Templeton’s bombastic tirades (which often reach deafening volumes) and his comic turn as a kvetching actor qua Hamlet who becomes overwhelmed with his “To be or not to be” speech and descends into a fractured monologue about making guacamole for dinner guests.

Dumay and Vissman are humorous in a gender-bent redux of the famed balcony scene in Romeo and Juliet. Oddly, one will be reminded of Shakespeare’s own parody of this material in the “Pyramus and Thisbe” sequence in his A Midsummer’s Night’s Dream— which is far superior.

The production takes a misstep with a Grand Guignolesque scene that reimagines Titus Andronicus as a Julia Child cooking show, complete with flowing blood and a sign-off in which two recent amputees try to high-five but miss on account of their fresh stumps (the audience diminished somewhat during this scene).

Not to wax too politically correct, but the script’s call to have Othello performed as a rap ditty (the all-white cast dons ski caps and sunglasses) eerily reminds us that Shakespeare and contemporary culture have very different definitions of the term “minstrel show.”

The show’s most entertaining moment comes when the players ask audience members to help execute Ophelia’s final exit in Hamlet. The scene offers a Freudian deconstruction that requires one audience member to represent the character’s ego by repeatedly running up the set, while other playgoers chant various mantras.

What really redeems The Compleat Wrks of Wllm Shkspre is the fact that kids really seem to dig it–all the pratfalls and inanity amount to a stage idiom not unlike a cartoon. The production draws constant giggles from the preteen set. Indeed–aside from its often suggestive language and situations–this show may prove a wonderful on-ramp to get kids into Shakespeare’s daunting oeuvre. Otherwise, theatergoers may want to prune this engagement from their calendars.

‘The Compleat Wrks of Wllm Shkspre (Abridged)’ plays at 8 p.m. on April 7-8 and 13-15, and at 2 p.m. on April 9 and 16 at the Lincoln Arts Center, 709 Davis St., Santa Rosa. $11-$13. 544-7827.

From the April 6-12, 2000 issue of the Sonoma County Independent.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Carneros Quality Alliance

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Border Crossing

Carneros wine appellation is a tale of two counties

By Bob Johnson

He’s a real nowhere man Living in a nowhere land . . .

JOHN LENNON and Paul McCartney were not conjuring a vintner from the Carneros wine-growing region when they penned their 1965 hit single “Nowhere Man.” But they could have been. The Carneros district straddles the extreme southern reaches of Sonoma and Napa counties, following San Pablo Bay from east to west. Viewed from the south, it begins some 40 miles north of San Francisco.

Flatlands and gently sloping hills define the terrain. Unlike the gentrified tourist magnet that Napa Valley has become, Carneros has no swank boutiques or trendy trattorias. Heck, it doesn’t even have a town.

What this agricultural area does have is row upon row of grapevines–some 6,500 acres of vineyard land, at last count. And Carneros grapes are among the most sought-after in all of California, because they make wines that are consistently adjudged among the finest in the state.

According to the Carneros Quality Alliance, a group of vintners dedicated to defining and perpetuating the special character of the region, 48 percent of Carneros grapes are chardonnay, 32 percent are pinot noir, 6 percent are cabernet sauvignon, 5 percent are merlot, and 9 percent are various other varietals.

Grapes have been grown there since the mid-1800s, and the first real spurt of planting came after the repeal of Prohibition, when pioneer North Coast winemaking families like Martini and Beaulieu undertook significant vineyard projects.

At that time, it wasn’t unusual for grape growers to have cattle ranchers and sheepherders as neighbors. In fact–and perhaps providing the answer to the question, Which came first, the grape or the sheep?–carneros is the Spanish word for sheep.

While grapes have been grown in the area for decades, the first winemaking facility to be constructed there since Prohibition was Carneros Creek Winery, founded in 1972.

The largest estate grower is Buena Vista Winery, which planted its vineyards during the 1970s. Acacia Winery was founded in 1979 as an appellation-specific winery–four years before Carneros gained its official appellation status.

What attracted these and other winemaking concerns to the region?

According to Anne Moller-Racke, Buena Vista’s vineyard director, two things: its unique microclimate and topography.

“Perhaps the two most important influences on [Carneros vineyards] are the soil and the proximity of San Francisco Bay and the Pacific Ocean,” she says.

“The soil is shallow and dense with high clay content, which makes it harder for a vine to establish a root system, so it yields smaller, more flavorful grapes. The ocean breezes keep our summers cooler and our winters more mild than other parts of Napa and Sonoma.”

Through the work of Carneros Creek co-founder Francis Mahoney and researchers from UC Davis, clonal selections best suited for Carneros were identified and planted, thus establishing the area as prime pinot noir territory.

Mahoney had much earlier developed an affinity for the wines of Burgundy, so it was no surprise that he would gravitate to an area ideally suited for growing Burgundy’s two noble grapes: pinot noir and chardonnay.

IN 1986, A STUDY conducted by UC Davis’ viticulture and enology department revealed characteristics common to virtually all Carneros pinots: “high cherry, fresh berry, and spicy components.” Growers and winemakers describe the primary flavor as “red berry–either strawberry or raspberry–jam.”

Ten years later, an exhaustive study by the Carneros Quality Alliance revealed typical characteristics of Carneros chardonnays: “citrus, fruity green apple, and pear.”

While most appellations are known for a certain spectrum of aroma and flavor components, Carneros wines tend to be much more consistent across the board and thus more readily identifiable.

Pinot noir, in particular, thrives in Carneros because it is a varietal that enjoys hardship. When the soil is shallow, the climate is cold, and fog shelters the sun for hours at a time, the delicate pinot grape responds by transforming into wine with layers of subtle flavors and refined elegance.

Because climatic conditions allow for full ripening of the grapes, Carneros pinots also tend to be perfectly balanced, making them enjoyable in their youth but also capable of long-term aging.

Since chardonnay and pinot noir are the most common varietals, it should come as no surprise that Carneros is also known for its sparkling wines.

Champagne Taittinger president Claude Taittinger visited Carneros as a young man and made note of the area’s potential for sparkling wines. In 1989 he founded Domaine Carneros, then and still considered one of the jewels of the region.

Codorniu Napa, Gloria Ferrer, Domaine Chandon, and Mumm Napa Valley are other makers of sparkling wine that have set up shop in or purchase grapes from Carneros.

And what better beverage than sparkling wine to accompany our opus-ending toast? So:

Here’s to a place unspoiled by urban sprawl, a place with no borders, a place you won’t find on a map.

Here’s to Carneros.

Here’s to nowhere.

From the April 6-12, 2000 issue of the Sonoma County Independent.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Designer Randolph Johnson

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Living by Design

Sonoma County designer Randolph Johnson brings classical romanticism to home furnishings

UNDER the watchful eye of Randolph Johnson, a small army of skilled workers and local artisans four years ago converted a vacant storefront on Santa Rosa’s Fifth Avenue into a spectacular showroom for custom-made crafts and home furnishings that is replete with inlaid marble and limestone floors, a brick fireplace, and handmade furniture.

“It’s like walking into a Mediterranean villa,” says Johnson, 59, who sells his works around the globe.

The longtime Sonoma County artist and designer–who had operated out of a small Forestville workshop/studio with an eight-person staff–has created a unique design house that acts both as a source for interior decorators and homeowners looking for heirloom-quality pieces and as an outlet for local artisans specializing in handmade furnishings and home fixtures.

Johnson, who often assists architectural and garden designers, is renowned for his stunning wall murals, trompe l’oeil paintings, and innovative use of materials. There is a classical-romantic element to much of his work, though it also reflects a contemporary feel.

The design showroom features pieces designed by Johnson, ranging from handblown glass vessels to bronze sculptures to handcrafted wooden lamps. In addition, the business provides mosaic floor designs, decorative glass, custom lighting, upholstery, and custom-made window coverings, all created by Johnson and fashioned by a bevy of top Sonoma County artisans and craftspeople.

The design emporium also offers rugs, lighting fixtures, bronzes, and other works.

Randall Johnson Designs, 608 Fifth St., Santa Rosa. 577-8196.

From the April 6-12, 2000 issue of the Sonoma County Independent.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Gardening

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Getting Ready to Garden

Tips on starting a new garden

By Meg McGowan

THE PASTORAL IDEAL is alive and well at the dawn of the 21st century. Weary of our paved-over paradise, we believe that given hoes and trowels we can excavate Eden, at least in our own backyards. Martha Stewart and an armful of spring gardening magazines encourage such dreams. Our imaginary garden often focuses on the finished product as presented on a glossy page, on a table, or in a bouquet. But gardening is all about process, not product. Beginning a garden, like beginning a marriage, requires the grower to examine expectations; indeed, gardening is essentially about the relationship between the gardener and the earth.

What do you expect to grow: flowers, herbs, vegetables, or a cottage-garden combination? That’s the first question to ask. The requirements for each are a bit different. Examine the garden in your mind. Gather the elusive images you cherish and put them down on the page. If you like, combine words with pictures clipped from magazines or catalogs. If you’re a new gardener, you may not have the words to express what you like, but you’ll recognize it when you see it. Be sure to include any descriptive information that is provided with the pictures, as it will save you time later. Identify the elements that attract you.

Do you prefer a look that is formal or informal? Neat or untamed? Brilliantly colored or a soothing interplay of textures and hues? A tiny nook or a sweeping expanse? Defining your desired direction will provide you with a framework for evaluating the space you have to work with.

Whatever you choose to grow, remember that your initial feelings of satisfaction and success are likely to be inversely proportional to the initial size of your garden. Like children, gardens require the greatest concentration of time in the first years of life. This is particularly true for your first garden, when everything is new to you. Consider that you are changing what the earth is in the habit of growing in this space. Many of those habits have deep roots–literally.

True change is gradual. A plan that is too ambitious often results in a mindset in opposition to nature, a war pitting gardener against pests, weeds, and unyielding earth. Ideals tend to get lost in the heat of those battles. When overwhelmed, you might consider chemical reinforcements, thinking that the means may appear to justify the end. That’s not true. Gardening is all about means, about process, about working with the earth.

There is no end.

BY BEGINNING small you allow yourself time to gauge what your garden will require from you. Remember, you will be changing too, altering your own routines to make room in your life for a garden. If you dig up more space than you actually plant, the bare earth will soon be covered with weeds, and you will be mired in frustration. Starting small allows you to become intimately acquainted with the plants you are growing and increases, rather than diminishes, your rewards.

By controlling the area of your garden and the initial size of your plantings, you also control the size of any mistakes you may make. With that worry out of the way, you are freer to experiment and enjoy the process of gardening.

In selecting a site, you begin to take into account the expectations of your partner, the earth. If you have a particular area where you want to plant, the light and soil conditions will dictate a range of plant choices. If you are flexible as to where your garden will be placed, you can consider first what you wish to grow and then where those plants will grow best. Concentrating your first efforts close to the house, preferably in an area that you pass by daily, allows you to continually enjoy your creation. A word of caution: If you have small children, you may want to avoid planting flowers that attract bees close to play areas. Also, be aware that some plants have toxic properties.

Vegetables require at least six hours of direct sunlight each day. Many traditional culinary herbs also are sun-loving and make excellent companion plants for your vegetables. Herbs also contribute to a healthy garden plot by repelling pests. Many herbs, such as basil, thyme, fennel, and dill, attract beneficial insects as well.

A southern or western exposure is best for vegetable and herb gardens. A neatly tended vegetable garden may be placed anywhere, but if follow-through is not your forte, you may want to tuck the garden toward the side or back of your house. A rectangular shape is practical for vegetables, allowing for neat rows and maximization of space. If you choose to use lumber to define a raised vegetable bed in your yard, make sure that the wood is untreated. Chemicals used to treat lumber will leach into the soil and find their way into your harvest.

If your focus is on flowers, you’ll want to know the difference between annual and perennial plants. Annuals must be planted every year. Though they occasionally drop seeds and surprise you with a reappearance, annuals almost always complete their life cycle in one growing season. Once annual flowers begin blooming, they tend to bloom until frost, providing almost constant color.

Perennials, on the other hand, have a specific period of bloom. They can help you create a garden that will change throughout the growing season. Most perennial plants die back to the ground each winter, but the roots remain alive underground. When spring comes, the plants emerge from the soil, sending up new shoots from old roots.

You can, of course, plant both annual and perennial flowers together. Familiarizing yourself with the characteristics of both types of plants, however, allows you to make informed choices that will suit you and your site.

Without making large structural changes, there is little you can do to affect the amount of sunlight that falls on a particular area of your yard. Matching plant material with the amount of available light is key to whether the plants thrive or languish. The best way to determine how much light a garden gets is to check it hourly. Our perceptions of what is sunny and what is shaded are often based on limited observation. Full sun is considered to be six hours of direct sunlight. The afternoon sun is stronger than the morning sun, which gives it a bit more weight in the equation. Generally speaking, the more sunlight a garden has, the more bloom you will get. Perennial plants for the shade tend to produce their showiest blooms in the spring, before the trees fully leaf out, or late in the year, as the trees begin to lose their leaves. There are some exceptions–notably hostas, astilbe, and day lilies–but much depends on the amount and quality of light available. For a continuous show of color in a shaded location, pockets of annual flowers are essential. Few plants will bloom in the deepest shade, but you still can create a native woodland garden or a restful setting with contrasting foliage colors and textures.

Curved lines are most pleasing for defining a flower bed. The idea is to draw the eye along the planting in a natural flow. If the garden is placed so that it is viewed from only one or two sides, the tallest plants should be set at the back, with heights tapering toward the front. If the garden is to be viewed from all sides, the tallest plants should be grouped in the middle, with plants tapering toward the edges of the bed all the way around. If your tastes run toward orderly and refined rather than cottagey and casual, look for words like “compact” and “low-growing” in plant descriptions. Avoid plants that require staking. Perennial plants are best planted in odd numbers for a natural look. For a more refined look, try using fewer varieties and planting in larger groups. Repeating color unifies any design.

WHATEVER YOU DECIDE to plant, food or flowers, try to include as much variety as possible. Monocultures invite pests, disease, and the potential for failure on a large scale. Diversify. Plant cherry tomatoes, plum tomatoes, and beefsteak tomatoes. Look for heirloom varieties that have not been overhybridized for uniformity. Many perennial plants are grown from cuttings; try to include some that are grown from seed to support an expanding gene pool. And include some native species in your flower garden.

With woodland wildflowers it is extremely important to buy from a reputable source that has not pillaged its plants from the forests.

Good soil is essential to the success of all gardens, so before planting anything, be sure to tend to your soil. You may want to have your soil tested to identify potential problems, especially if you are planting edibles or are doing extensive plantings or if previous plantings in an area have failed to thrive.

Look for earthworms as a sign of healthy soil; the good drainage they provide is an essential component of good soil. Mushroom compost (well-rotted manure in which mushrooms have been grown) and peat are good additions to almost any planting bed, along with any offerings from your own compost pile. Digging organic matter into a garden bed not only improves drainage, but improves the overall structure and adds nutrients to the soil.

Don’t overdo on manure or mushroom compost, though; adding two inches for every six inches you dig down is sufficient.

Knowing when to dig also helps preserve soil structure. Digging when it is too wet or too dry is not advisable. To avoid compacting the soil, perform this test: dig when a clump of soil holds together in the palm of your hand, without being so wet you can squeeze water from it.

Planning the garden so that you can reach all areas without stepping into the beds or off of the paths reduces the amount of soil compaction as well.

BY DELIVERING water where it is needed and reducing the amount of water that evaporates, soaker hoses encourage correct watering practices. Soaker hoses laid while planting can be covered with mulch and will soon be obscured by flourishing plants. Covering exposed earth in between plants with organic mulch also helps the soil retain water, adds nutrients, and discourages weeds. Again, use moderation; overwatering can be as deadly as underwatering. Sprinkling a garden lightly each day causes plants to develop undesirably shallow root systems concentrated only in the top few inches of soil.

This leaves the plants highly susceptible to drought if watering is not continued, or to rot if the soil has no chance to dry between waterings.

Deep, less frequent waterings cause plant roots to reach down into the ground in search of water. This is particularly important for perennial plants, whose winter survival depends on developing hardy root systems. Perennial plants, therefore, require less water than annual plants and vegetables.

An invaluable resource for beginning gardeners is other gardeners. Gardeners tend to be passionate about their love and are usually as happy as matchmakers to help guide you down the garden path. Talk to your friends. Talk to people whose gardens you admire. Find a greenhouse or nursery with a knowledgeable staff and talk to them. Then go home to your own patch of land and listen.

Listen to the earth, which is to be your partner in creating life; observe the nuances that make your situation unique; resolve to keep the lines of communication open; and celebrate with a garden.

From the April 6-12, 2000 issue of the Sonoma County Independent.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Chez Marie

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Chez Comfort

Forestville’s Chez Marie: a welcome find

By Paula Harris

WHILE OUR TABLE is prepared, we sit in a little waiting room inside the house that is the Chez Marie restaurant in Forestville. The parlor is very homey, with small tables topped by shiny Mardi Gras trinkets and chairs arranged in a semicircle. We stretch out our chilled feet toward the small radiator and enjoy the short wait.

Just beyond is the dining room, and it’s a cozy one. A glowing fireplace, an assortment of decorative copper pots and pans, and soft lighting conspire to mellow out even the most rushed diners.

Chez Marie brings to mind one of those unpretentious cafes in the French countryside where the menu is chalked on a board, the tablecloths are checked gingham, the wine is local, and the food is straightforward and fresh.

On Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays, the focus here is country French-Continental cuisine, including escargots, cassoulet, and bouillabaisse. But on Wednesday and Thursday evenings, Chez Marie transforms itself into “Marie’s Mardi Gras Café” and celebrates down-home Cajun and Creole foods–like fried green tomatoes, red beans and rice, and gumbo–from New Orleans, the chef’s home town.

That explains all the festive beads and other decorations hailing from the Big Easy that adorn the dining room. It’s Mardi Gras every week here. On hot summer evenings, the Cajun music plays and there’s a big washtub of iced beer right at the front door.

OWNED AND OPERATED by chef Shirley Palmisano and her partner, Angie Lewis, Chez Marie (named after their mothers, May and Mary) is housed in an unassuming building. There’s a collection of cookbooks inside and a kitchen garden out back.

It’s a west county hidden gem.

The two women have created a warm, welcoming ambiance in true family-run country style, and they make a good team. Palmisano darts around the look-in kitchen, which she seems to run single-handedly and in which she almost effortlessly turns out dish after dish of impressive, made-from-scratch goodies.

Meanwhile, Lewis works the dining room, serving the patrons. She’s always quick with a friendly joke or a maternal arm around the shoulder as she recites the day’s specials.

Even though the place is packed when we’re seated, the dining room is (amazingly) not at all noisy. It’s a “country French night,” and classical music spills from the sound system. The mood is serene but not stuck-up.

Lewis brings the bread. It causes quite a stir at our table. Here are not just a few wimpy slices in a delicate basket, but huge hunks of warm baguettes drizzled very generously with olive oil and topped equally generously with shredded asiago cheese. We hungrily demolish one plateful and it keeps on coming!

WE TRY A SELECTION of appetizers. Ail et olive roti ($5.50) are warm-roasted Kalamata olives cooked with rosemary and plump buttery cloves of garlic and then seasoned with Parmigiano-Reggiano cheese. Delicious.

The pâté du maison ($5.50) is a smooth, rosy pâté made from chicken liver and port wine pâté. It’s served with a handful of cornichons, mustard, and bread.

A rich cream of tomato soup is enlivened with a sprinkle of toasted pistachios.

Eggplant Marie ($12.95)–grilled eggplant seasoned with oregano and layered with caramelized onions and mozzarella cheese in a wispy, papery filo shell, then baked golden–is a good bet for vegetarians.

We’re pleased to see that some of the Cajun-Creole items are being served as specials tonight. The Louisiana jambalaya ($11.50) is a hot and hearty blend of ham, chicken, Louisiana hot links, and peppers in rich brown gravy served over rice. There’s just enough spice to make those sweat pearls break out on the forehead.

One disappointment is the duck à l’orange ($15.95). The sweetish orange demiglacé sauce is fine, but the half duck has a stringy, dry texture that’s quite unappealing. It’s served with white rice and asparagus spears.

The scampi picatta ($16.95) are large prawns in a delicate white wine, parsley, and garlic butter sauce with artichoke hearts and hints of lemon and capers. It’s fresh and light–a good springtime dish.

A small but selective wine list features local offerings.

All desserts are $4.50, including a lightly caramelized vanilla-loaded crème brûlée, an old-fashioned pecan pie scented with bourbon, and an intense bittersweet-chocolate custard.

It’s all very relaxing, like eating at a friend’s comfy home. Palmisano and Lewis want you to settle back in your chair, loosen your belt, and even slip off a shoe. “Come enjoy the music and the smell of good food cooking in the kitchen,” they coax in the restaurant’s newsletter. “The pot is bubbling with down-home stuff just for you.”

Chez Marie Address: 6675 Front St. (Hwy. 16), Forestville; 887-7503 Hours: Dinner from 6 p.m., Wednesday-Sunday Food: Country French-Continental, Friday-Sunday; Cajun and Creole comfort food, Wednesday and Thursday Service: Friendly, casual, and maternal Ambiance: Relaxing bistro atmosphere–like eating in a friend’s home Price: Moderate Wine list: Short but selective list of wines from Sonoma and Mendocino counties Overall: 3 stars (out of 4)

From the April 6-12, 2000 issue of the Sonoma County Independent.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

‘Goddess on a Payroll’

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Divine intervention: Monica Grant co-stars in Goddess on a Payroll.

Simply Divine

‘Goddess on a Payroll’ serves up smart sketch comedy

By Daedalus Howell

PHILANTHROPIST Andrew Carnegie was once asked how he could afford to pay his staff so well. He replied, “I can’t afford to pay them any other way.” Those interested in entertainment beyond the stock options often offered by local theater can’t afford to miss Goddess on a Payroll, which cashes in its run at the Romantic Tea Room this weekend.

Featuring the awesome talents of comediennes Monica Grant and Teresa Chandler, Goddess on a Payroll (admirably directed by Stephen Drewes from an original script penned by Grant) is such a knee-slapper that your patella will crumble.

Two parts literate sketch comedy and one part seriocomic “Portrait of the Artist as a Young Lesbian,” the show delivers from the moment the vivacious Grant squawks out a couple of notes of Gershwin on her enviro-horn (a garden hose affixed to a funnel). In under 90 minutes, Grant and Chandler (sounds like a Golden Age comedy duo if there ever was one) rifle through a piquant cavalcade of sketches, monologues, and songs expertly crafted by the Dramalogue-winning Grant.

Its hilarious lifestyle humor and obvious appeal to a specific fan-base (hardly a Y chromosome could be found in the audience on opening night) notwithstanding, Goddess on a Payroll is not a “special interest” show, and Grant and her cohort are not “niche” performers. The show is ultimately an examination of love and loss, relationships and art, that will appeal to audiences of all persuasions. That Grant is able to create simultaneously a very personal yet universally appealing show testifies to her estimable talents as a writer.

Among her standout sketches is a brilliant (nay, divine) parody of the ’70s prison documentary Scared Straight. Redubbed Scared Single, the skit features two hard-boiled lesbians “doing 25 to life in bad relationships.” Booked on such charges as “assault with a deadly ego and accessory to drama” as well as “martyr in the first degree,” these hardened gals are easily as fierce as anyone from Scorsese’s stable of goombahs. They take several comic turns while tough-talking preventive counseling to the audience. And the skit closes with a doo-wop song.

Later, Grant and Chandler prove themselves masters of the sight gag during a bit where one lover begins to confide in another while waving incrementally larger “red flags” over her head as she “discloses inappropriately.” The visual pun is devastating.

The duo takes another crowd-pleasing turn with a rollicking lampoon of pop culture goddess Xena, Warrior Princess, and her sidekick Gabriella. Devised as a flashback, the skit details the relationship’s romantic back-story while Grant gallivants across the floorboards in full-tilt Xena regalia.

“Lesbian subtext? Is that all it is to you?” she asks skeptically.

Throughout, Grant makes several asides chronicling the gradual loss of a friend who is stricken with AIDS. Grant effectively uses these moments to illustrate the resilience of the human spirit and the necessity for art in the face of emotional peril. The poignant result is one of many examples of the show’s ability to shift modes with finesse.

Goddess on a Payroll is an inspired and energized evening of comedy, highly recommended to anyone who has been in love or knows the toils of the creative life. The show has sold out on the fringe circuit and will certainly do so locally, so audiences are encouraged to reserve tickets now. These women should be on salary!

Goddess on a Payroll plays March 31 and April 1-2 at 8 p.m. at the Romantic Tea Room, 208 Davis St. (at Third Street), Santa Rosa. $10. Reservations required. Call 887-0409.

From the March 30-April 5, 2000 issue of the Sonoma County Independent.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Town Hall Coalition

Sonoma style: “People’s feeling about land is a deeply emotional matter,” says Jerry Birnhaut of the Sonoma Town Hall Coalition.

The Kids in the Hall

Grassroots movement grows in opposition to vineyard expansions

By Stephanie Hiller

“THE OPEN MIKE is such a powerful thing,” says activist Kurt Erickson, a member of the Town Hall Coalition, an ad hoc group of west county residents who have taken local grape growers to task over recent vineyard expansions. “People haven’t had a feeling they can at least have a voice in what happens in this county.

“The Board of Supervisors, they’re all higher than you–you have to stand up at the podium with your butt to the audience. It’s a terrible format!”

Apparently others agree.

In the past six months, town hall meetings have popped up all over the county. From Sonoma to Guerneville, Healdsburg to Penngrove, local folks have been coming out of their houses on weekday nights–even in the pouring rain–for hours of discussions on issues that arouse strong opinions: groundwater, grapes, growth and its consequences.

Has all this grassroots organizing been birthed by that mother of all meetings, the Town Hall Coalition? Since its debut last September, the THC has put a new face on rural democracy, with e-mails flying from desktop to desktop and well-attended meetings at which neighbors line up at the microphone to share their concerns.

Since THC began, supervisors’ meetings on the controversial hillside vineyard ordinance and proposed groundwater regulation have been packed with vocal opponents, and articles about their concerns have appeared in all the local newspapers.

Suddenly the prosperous darlings of the Redwood Empire–the grape growers–have found themselves on the defensive.

Certainly, the THC has put a well-timed match to a smoldering heap of discontent. THC participants are described as articulate and highly skilled, and no one seems to doubt the sincerity of their commitment to our shared future. In any case, it is clear that something is happening here, and the real target is not the farmer, but the exclusionary style of governance exemplified by the Board of Supervisors.

Lynn Hamilton, the former mayor of Sebastopol and onetime community organizer in South America, who with her husband, Don Frank, started the big boulder that is the THC rolling downhill, compares the situation in Sonoma County with a banana republic. She made her intentions clear at the first meeting: “We should begin to identify new candidates to run against these terrible supervisors–the worst Board of Supervisors we have ever had–tonight.”

Santa Rosa City Councilwoman Noreen Evans, who recently failed in her bid to unseat Supervisor Tim Smith, stepped up to bat in time to get THC’s full endorsement. She too wants to put the brakes on growth.

“The Town Hall Coalition is really about inappropriate growth,” Don Frank says. “Of course there’s going to be growth–we’re still having babies and our children will need places to live. But we’ve got a Board of Supervisors planning for more growth when they haven’t fixed the problems they’ve already got.”

He takes a fatherly attitude toward all the new grassroots organizations that have sprung up throughout the county. He points to the recent community meeting on the Russian River Redevelopment Plan, held March 9 in Guerneville, as evidence of the THC’s influence. But activist Brenda Adelman, while voicing her approval of the coalition’s progress, is quick to note gently that people on the Russian River have been organizing for 20 years.

“We’ve been here a lot longer than the Town Hall Coalition,” she says.

MEMBERS of the THC feel that they have provided “a catalyst for things that are going on by giving a voice to concerns and suggesting ways to become active,” as Stephen Fuller-Rowell puts it. He’s been active on the THC water committee, which has succeeded in pressuring the county to do a groundwater study to allay fears that vineyards may be depleting the wells. Water is a complex subject that is becoming increasingly urgent, he says, “and nobody is monitoring this.”

Fuller-Rowell has been monitoring his own well on Furlong Lane and is now offering instructions to others interested in the problem.

The THC has been effective in other ways as well.

“We’ve actually changed the semantics. Our words, like ‘industrial vineyards,’ are showing up in the Press Democrat,” Erickson says happily.

“And Kendall-Jackson has made big changes because of community concern.”

While he suggests that Kendall-Jackson decided to stop cutting vintage oaks before the THC came into existence, Robert Hopkins, a Healdsburg grape grower for 25 years, agrees that, thanks to the dialogue and the new vineyard ordinance, “people are changing the way they do things. There’s more scrutiny by Fish and Game, and many regulations that have been loosely enforced are getting more attention now.”

But he’d like “all of us to really look at the science and see what we can agree on.”

That’s what Nick Frey is looking for. As the executive director of the Sonoma County Grape Growers Association, he is concerned about a widening gap between growers and the public. He sees a lot of emotion at the meetings and some “veiled or overt threats” to turn people in to law enforcement without “talking to your neighbor first.”

Frey comes from Iowa, where 60 percent of the land is used to cultivate soybeans and corn, and no one has the money to worry about erosion problems.

“By comparison, the things that are being done here are phenomenal–and the residents think we’re ruining the environment,” he says.

Frey wants to see a change in the tenor of the conversation. “I think if we started relating to each other as people, as neighbors, we might find those problems aren’t as great as some of us think,” he says.

JOHN KING of Penngrove has a great deal to say about the work of his group, the Penngrove Area Plan Advisory Committee, which put on their first town hall meeting this month. They are primarily concerned about the potential threat to the water supply posed by Rohnert Park’s new expansion plans. But King hastens to say “we are not affiliated in any way, shape, or form with the THC.”

However, he did attend one meeting held in Sonoma and was very impressed with the level of presentation. But, for him, it’s not about grapes, it’s the water.

“A movement like this doesn’t spring up out of nothing,” says Jerry Birnhaut, one of the leaders of the Sonoma Town Hall Coalition, which came together five years ago to stop development near Jack London State Park, and succeeded.

Now grapes are at the forefront.

“People’s feeling about land is a deeply emotional matter,” he observes.

For him, the issue comes down to “whether market forces are going to control us and whether there’s no opportunity for public interest to have some say in the radical transformation of the landscape.”

Keith Abeles of the Community Alliance of Family Farmers feels that the spotlight on the vineyard situation “gets into all the issues.”

An organic farmer, Abeles is worried that farmers who grow other crops are “getting marginalized because they can’t compete with grapes.

“Our county is changing,” he says. “The rural character is evolving, and a lot of people are concerned.”

This is part of an ongoing series of articles about the public response to increasing vineyard development and to other local environmental issues.

From the March 30-April 5, 2000 issue of the Sonoma County Independent.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Homemade Food

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Lost Arts

Rediscovering the art of making your own food products

By Marina Wolf

THE GERMAN Bread Museum in Ulm, Germany, takes up an entire seven-floor building. Included in the facilities are a library, archives for researchers, and a collection of more than 10,000 objects relating to the cultural, social, and technological history of bread. But you’ll have to step outside if you want a loaf of bread. As the website for the Deutsches Brotmuseum is careful to note, “No bread is collected, as it is not a museum object but daily fresh food.”

So simply put, but to mainstream Americans, “daily fresh food” might as well be a museum object. Our food is fast or junk, usually both. Our shopping carts fill up with powders, cans, and redi-pak pouches. Our meals are seasoned with extracts, essences, or just “natural flavorings.” Our bread takes about two minutes to acquire (and tastes every second of it). The ancients would hardly recognize as sustenance some of America’s most notable contributions to gastronomy: Velveeta, California olives, wine in a box.

When you consider that in some parts of France and Italy bread starter is still passed down like an heirloom; that there are barrels of balsamic vinegar in Italian attics that have been around for hundreds of years; that even in America, not 100 years ago, wines were a basement operation, brewed up in careful batches by a very attentive uncle . . . well, it becomes clear that in America the food arts have been if not altogether lost, then seriously misplaced.

The reasons for the transformation in our food production are many, not the least being technology and the Industrial Revolution. Just like the clothes washer, frozen-food technology and safe canning processing meant a giant leap forward for women. They could shrug themselves free of many of the household arts that once were their sole and entire provenance. But since food arts, unlike fine arts, have ceased to be studied in school or written down, these skills and processes have fallen by the wayside.

THE LAST 20 OR 30 YEARS have seen a groundswell of cooks and writers who are revisiting these ways and making them new again. The latest addition to the genre: Lynn Alley’s Lost Arts (coming out from Ten Speed Press on April 15). This lively, eclectic little volume isn’t actually new, but an enlarged version of the book that originally came out in 1995 (Alley added wine and jam to the short list of what makes the most sense to make from scratch). The sustained interest in foods that are homegrown, homebrewed, homemade–everything, in short, that runs counter to middle-American foodways–suggests that there are still people willing to look for those lost arts.

Lynn Alley started her search in the late ’60s and early ’70s, when she attended college in Berkeley. A new generation had gathered there, hungry for revolution in food as in everything else. “It was so wonderful,” Alley recalls in a breathless voice. “It was all around us. There was Peet’s Coffee and the Cheese Board [a gourmet cheese shop and bakery] and amazing produce stores. And Alice Waters’ restaurant [Chez Panisse] opened just around the corner. We’d never been exposed to that kind of food, but we knew it was something very special.”

The young Alley, stirred by the possibilities of this fresh, real food, dug up her yard and planted vegetables. Her first experiment with culinary herbs–a rosemary bush in a pot–died from overwatering, but Alley continued undaunted. Now she grows herbs in the back of her suburban condo in San Diego County and makes cheese in the guest bathroom. For a while she even kept chickens in her backyard. Far from objecting, she says, her neighbors covered for her. “A few well-placed eggs will do wonders.”

Alley’s focus has since expanded to encompass a cornucopia of good food from ancient oral traditions. Lost Arts contains pointers on curing olives, grinding mustard, infusing vinegars, and milling wheat for bread. She’s gathered the recipes–more guidelines, in keeping with the continuance of the oral “a handful of this and that” tradition–from handwritten notes, old source books, and friends of the family.

The traditions come from all around the Mediterranean, but they share more than a shoreline. For starters, these foods all take time to reach their full flavor. It isn’t really active time; for the most part the cook just needs to mix the ingredients and let gravity, time, and the naturally occurring yeasts do their work.

Still, the premise behind Lost Arts is a radical one in a land where time is money, and therefore time is a commodity that we never have enough of. Then along comes Alley and her like, with breads that take hours to rise and cheese curds that must drain overnight–never mind olives that will take months to leach away their bitterness and wine that might not reach its peak for a year or two. Who has time for that?

“Well, make the time or don’t do it,” retorts Alley sternly. “That’s part of the whole charm of it, setting aside some time to come into close contact with the earth and real ingredients. We have to pick and choose what we make time for.”

From the March 30-April 5, 2000 issue of the Sonoma County Independent.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

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