Sonoma County Illustrators Exhibit

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PICTURE BOOK illustrators usually take a back seat–and second billing–to the authors that write children’s books. But the Sebastopol Library is turning the tables on this trend with its current exhibition of illustrations by three prominent Sonoma County illustrators.

On display will be Santa Rosa resident Karen Hanke’s clever computer illustrations from Matthew Gollub’s brand-new The Jazz Fly. But there will also be works by two other artists who have illustrated more than a hundred books between them.

Sebastopol resident Teri Sloat will be represented by illustrations from Barbara Winslow’s The Hungry Giant of the Tundra and Dance on a Seal Skin. The exhibit also features a sample of work by Stacey Schuett of Sonoma, including the author-illustrator’s drawings from Somewhere in the World Right Now; illustrations from Outside the Window by Anna Egan Smucker; and the lush Purple Mountain Majesties by Barbara Younger.

The gorgeous artworks–stunning to behold even outside the context of the stories they illustrate–are displayed along with copies of each book, forming a kind of before-and-after demonstration of the illustrator’s craft.

The exhibition runs through April 22 at the library, 7140 Bodega Ave., Sebastopol. For more information, call 823-7691.

From the April 13-19, 2000 issue of the Sonoma County Independent.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

‘Falstaff’

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Big Laughs

Cinnabar Opera Theater delivers a delightful version of Verdi’s very funny ‘Falstaff’

By Daedalus Howell

AH, THE SEASONS have finally shifted and who better to caterwaul the sprung rhythms of spring than Shakespeare’s rotund scalawag Sir John Falstaff? Under the expert eyes and ears of stage director Elly Lichenstein and music director Nina Shuman, Petaluma’s Cinnabar Theater launches its Falstaff Festival 2000 with a rousing rendition of composer Giuseppe Verdi’s 1893 comic opera Falstaff.

Inspired principally by Falstaff’s follies in William Shakespeare’s The Merry Wives of Windsor (though Verdi’s librettist, Arrigo Boito, also extrapolated from the paunchy libertine’s appearances in Henry IV, Part I and Part II), Verdi’s final and most significant reach for the funny bone finds its title character (performed excellently by Stan Case) in a romantic pickle after sending identical love letters to burgher wives Alice Ford (Eileen Morris) and Meg Page (Karen Carle).

Upon discovering the bloated paramour’s shenanigans, the merry wives (aided and abetted, it seems, by the entire population of Windsor) conspire to deliver Falstaff to his much deserved comeuppance. Myriad traps are set and hilarious chaos ensues as contingencies and counterattacks abound on all sides, including those hailing from Alice’s misinformed and jealous husband, John Ford (William Neely), who misconstrues the besotted knight’s relationship with his wife.

Meanwhile, young lovers Nannetta (Jenni Samuelson) and Fenton (Joseph Meyers) carry the requisite “threatened union” subplot endemic to comic opera (John Ford, the girl’s father, has promised her hand to the wizened nebbish Dr. Caius, a role marking a fine comic turn by Michael Mendelsohn).

BY THE SECOND act’s climax (which finds Falstaff stowed in a laundry basket while hiding from the rampaging Ford), one cannot help but think that Falstaff is the operatic antecedent to the screwball comedy. It’s that much fun.

Case, a gargantuan presence, is a pure delight as the would-be profligate John “Plump Jack” Falstaff. His basso profundo voice is so rich it’s a wonder he hasn’t been tapped to impersonate God. To coin a phrase, Case is well-sung.

He adheres to Verdi’s conception of Falstaff as more than the cartoonish lecher painted in the primary source material and endearingly portrays the character’s rough ride to humility.

Eileen Morris shines particularly as the conniving Alice Ford and delivers a spirited and adroit performance that showcases her abundant gifts as both an actress and an opera singer.

Constantly stealing the show is George Arana as the red-nosed rapscallion and Falstaff flunky Bardolf. Arana plays the sweet-hearted thief as a consummate drunken huckster and provides innumerable laughs. (It should be noted that Arana assumed the role and seamlessly integrated himself into the production only days before opening night to replace a performer whose memory had apparently been flagging.)

Choreographer Megan Watt’s wonderfully drawn third-act forest bacchanal is a visual delight that highlights the talents of a bevy of child performers (dressed as woodland demons and fairies, these tikes are excruciatingly adorable) and designer Maureen O’Sullivan’s imaginative costumes.

Throughout, music director Shuman conducts a crackerjack orchestra of 10 instrumentalists (dubbed the Garter Inn Band after Falstaff’s favorite haunt) who provide the rich musical landscape on which the singers frolic.

Though it may seem that the Cinnabar has cornered the market on opera north of the gate (one would be hard-pressed to find its equal in either quality or expertise ’round these parts), be assured that the company has never rested on its laurels or delivered inferior entertainment. Theatergoers, no matter what their predilections, will find the company’s Falstaff an entertaining and satisfying experience.

Cinnabar Opera Theater’s production of Verdi’s Falstaff plays at 8 p.m., April 15, 21-22, and, 28-29, at the Cinnabar Theater, 3333 Petaluma Blvd. N., Petaluma. Tickets are $14 to $20. 763-8920.

From the April 13-19, 2000 issue of the Sonoma County Independent.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Corporate Crime

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Crime in the Suites

How Armani-clad crooks are robbing U.S. taxpayers of $3.8 billion each year

By Jim Hightower

THERE’S A CRIME wave under way in America, but the Powers That Be are getting sore necks from looking the other way. I’m talking about corporate crime. When it comes to robbing us blind, the Armani-clad criminals in corporate boardrooms have it all over the hoods on the street. The FBI reckons that burglary and robbery cost U.S. taxpayers $3.8 billion annually. Securities traders alone cream four times that amount from their clients in fraudulent deals every year.

And as far as white-collar crime goes, securities fraud is small potatoes. From oil spills to price-fixing to peddling defective or dangerous products, corporations are responsible for the costliest and deadliest crimes in this country.

Yet when it comes to enforcing the law and meting out punishment, corporations get treated with kid gloves so soft only their CEOs could afford them. They’re all but immune to the criminal penalties applied to regular citizens. Even when corporations get caught by their own egregiousness, committing acts so outrageous and heinous and on such a scale that the authorities grudgingly have to haul them into court, they’re usually subject to no more than civil penalties and fines. (Can you imagine some CEO getting dragged through grimy precinct hallways, fingerprinted, and thrown into a cell to wait for a frantic loved one to scrape together bail?)

Worse yet, they don’t often get caught, because corporate crimes don’t get investigated and prosecuted with thoroughness, let alone zeal. Why not? Because most politicians would rather try to sandpaper a bobcat’s butt than crack down on corporations. Why would your average politico, who was elected with corporate campaign dollars–and is looking forward to re-election with more where that came from–hound his corporate sponsors for any of their misdeeds?

How well does corporate crime pay? Fraud by healthcare corporations alone costs us between $100 billion and $400 billion a year. And the savings-and-loan debacle, which former Attorney General Dick Thornburgh called “the biggest white-collar swindle in history,” cost between $300 billion and $500 billion. Each of these rip-offs–health care and the S&Ls–cost us 10 times as much as all the burglaries and robberies in America combined!

“Hold on,” you say. At least these suits aren’t killing innocent people with handguns or stealing old ladies’ purses at knife point. Not exactly–but while 19,000 people are murdered in the United States every year (mostly by people they know), 56,000 Americans die at work! They get deadly diseases like black lung, asbestosis, or more insidious poisonings. They get crushed in accidents or killed by a badly made product.

Twenty years ago, Ralph Nader started a magazine called Multinational Monitor, and here’s what it said recently about crime in the corporate suites:

* It’s pervasive–the dirty deals are done by even the largest and most well-established companies, like Alcoa, Borden, Bristol-Myers, Squibb, Chevron, Eastman Kodak, Exxon, General Electric, Hyundai, IBM, Mitsubishi, Royal Caribbean, Tyson Foods. All these companies were among the worst of the 1990s, judging by the size of the fines the courts made them pay (and these are just the few that didn’t get away).

* Any criminal prosecutions of corporate wrongdoers are almost invariably for “intentional or reckless acts” only, meaning that they get away with all sorts of things–including murder–because they “didn’t mean to do it.”

* The penalties visited upon these multibillion-dollar entities are pocket change to them. The fact is, except in those rare cases where a corporation is caught setting up a cartel or overtly fixing prices, corporate crime pays.

* Few violations lead to criminal prosecutions. Instead, many corporate crimes are improperly treated as civil violations, and many bad acts are just called “legal”–as in “it may be wrong to put out a poorly tested toy that chokes a toddler or two, but it’s legal.”

EVERY YEAR, in pursuit of what’s really happening inside the boardrooms of global corporations, Multinational Monitor names the “Top 100 Corporate Criminals,” based on the size of the fines the courts made them pay. Last year’s top 100 can be put in 14 categories, throwing a rare spotlight on the face of corporate criminality:

Thirty-eight of the top 100 committed serious crimes against the environment; 20 ignored antitrust laws; 13 committed fraud; seven broke campaign-finance laws; six trampled food and drug laws; four were plain old financial crooks. The rest were caught doing such things as making false statements to the courts or the government, trafficking in illegal exports, running an illegal boycott, and causing workers’ deaths, as well as bribery, obstruction of justice, public corruption, and tax evasion.

But, remember, most crimes in the suites never go to a jury, partly because there are so many ways for those who own the system to beat it:

* Guilty corporations can pre-emptively offer up some low-level exec to go to prison so that the real bosses stay free. (This guy is known as the Vice President in Charge of Going to Jail.)

* Companies that poison folks with nasty pesticides don’t go to prison because their lobbyists work hard in Washington to keep such poisons legal.

* Corporations that kill workers on the job–for instance, by speeding up the production line or allowing deadly hazards on the shop floor–get the deaths recorded as “accidents” so they aren’t investigated as homicides.

* And, of course, businesses routinely hand out fat campaign contributions (what amounts to legislative bribery) to any political party or candidate looking for a fast buck, and this isn’t even considered a crime. No surprise there, since corporate lobbyists work with elected officials to write the laws in the first place.

And even if they do get caught, the big guys have all the resources they need to defend themselves.

When Royal Caribbean Cruise Lines was caught polluting the oceans, it hired two former heads of the U.S. Department of Justice’s Environmental Crimes Section, two former U.S. attorneys general, two former U.S. federal prosecutors, a handful of former government officials and law professors, and (count ’em) four retired admirals to show up in court on the company’s behalf. Then it spent a fortune painting itself green–buying ads during the Super Bowl to tell us all how good the cruise shippers are for our environment, hiring ex-EPA officials to be on its board, and writing large checks to environmental groups.

The big crimes of our times

Let’s venture into the casebooks for some recent examples of crimes in the suites–but don’t hold your breath waiting to see any of these guys on the next episode of Cops.

* We all buy vitamins from time to time. Maybe you go for vitamins in a bottle. Or perhaps you just buy vitamin-enriched breakfast cereals or some other processed foods. In any event, for the last 10 years we’ve all been paying more for these vitamins than we should have because the smart guys at the pharmaceutical company Hoffman-La Roche Ltd. organized an illegal cartel among manufacturers–including fellow pharmaceutical giant BASF–to jack up the prices and fix them at above-market rates. The feds managed to nail Hoffman-La Roche and get a $500 million fine out of them after they were convicted in a Dallas courtroom. BASF was fined $225 million.

* Archer Daniels Midland, the grain company that purrs so reassuringly in its TV commercials and NPR spots, got caught in another antitrust swindle. These guys corralled all the companies that make citric acid–you drink it in soda, eat it in food, and use it in soaps, cosmetics, and drugs–as well as another acid that’s added to cattle feed, and got everyone to fix the prices for these two items. They also got all the manufacturers to agree on divvying up the market among them, with no one underselling anyone else. Ah, the wonders of competition, the magic of the free market.

* Louisiana-Pacific Corp. is our nation’s biggest manufacturer of laminated board, which is widely used in the construction business. The company’s big mill in Montrose, Colo., has monitoring gadgets placed at various points to measure pollution levels, as required by laws to protect the environment and the factory’s neighbors. Yet pollution continued to pour out of Louisiana-Pacific’s mill. Why didn’t the monitors catch it? A year and a half ago, the company pleaded guilty to rigging the monitoring equipment with foil, pulling off protective lenses, changing the dials, and finally turning the damned things off! The company paid $37 million in fines and is on probation for five years.

* Corning Inc. runs a medical laboratory called Damon Clinical Labs. The lab did blood tests for doctors, but it told docs with Medicare patients that three tests were always done as a package, and then it’d bill state and federal healthcare programs for the unnecessary tests, raking in about $40 million in fraudulent claims. U.S. Attorney Donald Stern quipped: “What was marketed as a LabScan was actually a massive lab scam.”

Some help is on the way

WHILE AN EVER-GROWING horde of crime-busting politicians supports “Three strikes and you’re out!” for scofflaws who happen to be human beings, big companies are allowed to flout one law after another in contracts paid for with our tax dollars–and not only do they get away close to scot-free, they also get more contracts and more of our tax dollars.

The Clinton administration, having presided over fewer prosecutions of corporate crimes than even the Bush White House, has now been shamed into promoting a “responsible contractor” regulation to prevent companies with a record of “substantial noncompliance” with labor, environmental, tax, antitrust, consumer, or employment laws from getting federal contracts, which add up to about $200 billion a year.

That’s hitting these greed machines where they live–but there’s so much more we could do. How about making businesses pay fines with equity, making them hand over shares in the company, thereby diminishing the value of the company and getting the attention of the shareholders?

When companies are put on probation, judges could appoint a supervisor (a probation officer, if you will) to keep an eye on these convicted criminals so that they don’t go and hurt someone else.

And we ought to require corporations to advertise their crimes as a form of punishment (imagine the “ADM–Super-Swindler to the World” TV spot).

The critical need, though, is for us–the people–to reassert our sovereignty over these offending entities by altering or revoking their state charters.

Ultimately, corporations exist only at the pleasure of you and me. The founders of our states and nation put strict limits on the corporate structure, establishing our right to set the terms of each corporation’s existence.

The authority to revoke corporate charters is still on the books of nearly every state, and it’s time for us to reassert some of the passion of 1776 by using that authority.

The issue is basic: Are the corporations going to rule or are we? The defining battle of our era is to re- establish citizen rule over our government, our economy, our environment, and our society–and this requires the defeat of today’s corporate autocracy.

This article originally appeared in The Hightower Lowdown, a monthly newsletter co-edited by Jim Hightower, former Texas commissioner of agriculture.

From the April 13-19, 2000 issue of the Sonoma County Independent.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Usual Suspects

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Allegations of racism surface at Maria Carrillo High School in Santa Rosa

By Greg Cahill

THE PARENTS of three African-American teenage girls at predominantly white Maria Carrillo High School are charging that students have subjected their daughters to racial slurs and other harassment, and that school officials have failed to enforce a campus no-tolerance policy that forbids such behavior.

In a letter this week to Sonoma County Superintendent of Schools Tom Crawford, the parents–Cheryl Lane, Tess Coleman, and Annette Andrews–complain that “long, escalating hostilities” at the school have forced the mothers of two of the girls to keep their daughters at home, following what they call the wrongful expulsion of the third girl.

According to the letter, Confederate flags, clothes bearing such slogans as “The KKK Is Getting Larger,” and other “oppressive symbols are allowed to be worn and displayed throughout the school, even though the girls have gone to school officials a number of times to say how upsetting and offensive these things felt to them.”

In addition, one of the girls allegedly has been targeted by threatening graffiti on school property, and all the girls have been subjected to repeated racial slurs. “They have heard comments like ‘I have black people in my family tree and they’re hanging from it,” the letter notes.

During a recent talent show at the school, the mothers charge, racial and sexual remarks were made by a number of students in the audience while the girls were performing on stage. “Following the performance,” the letter continues, “when the girls were in tears over the incident, a school official told the girls to ‘leave it alone’ and then did nothing to help the girls.”

In recent weeks, the letter states, the “hostilities have broken into physical fighting in at least two incidents and the kids are beginning to dangerously gang up, with only the minority kids being held accountable.”

“The school is not in agreement with the contents of the letter,” says Maria Carrillo High School interim principal Steve Shepherd. “The school has done a thorough investigation of these allegations, and they have been aggressively dealt with by the administration.”

Shepherd declined to elaborate on the specific allegations raised by the letter or any action taken in light of the incidents, but emphasizes that the school “has strong programs in place” to address racial issues. Maria Carrillo High School is one of five public schools included on the Sonoma County Office of Education diversity forum, and the high school has a diversity team of students trained to help deal with racism.

On March 13, Maria Carrillo school officials hosted A Day of Dialogue in response to a protest over gay and lesbian speakers at the school. The daylong program, which addressed a variety of diversity issues, was followed by lessons on related topics.

“We just recently formed a faculty task force on tolerance,” says Shepherd, “and we take any allegations of racism very seriously.”

At press time, Crawford was out of town at an educational conference and could not be reached for comment.

To Your Health

IN A MOVE designed to save financially beleaguered Palm Drive Hospital in Sebastopol, west county voters this week approved plans to create a new healthcare district and issue $5.9 million in bonds.

A whopping 90.6 percent of voters–far more than the two-thirds majority needed to pass the measure–gave the nod to the financing portion of the package of the special election.

A local group of investors stepped forward to purchase the hospital two year ago, saving it from almost certain closure. The new bond money will be used to buy the facility from the 35 for Palm Drive group. It is not known whether the funds will be adequate to maintain the current level of service, including a 24-hour emergency room, full staff, and 49 beds for patients.

The bonds are expected to add about $12 a year for every $100,000 in accessed property value to tax bills.

The proposed new healthcare district will run from Marin County to Mill Creek Road, north of Guerneville, and from the coast to the Santa Rosa city limits.

From the April 13-19, 2000 issue of the Sonoma County Independent.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Mark Erickson of the Culinary Institute of America

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Class Act

Mark Erickson keeps Culinary Institute of America at Greystone cookin’

By Marina Wolf

AS MANAGING director of CIA-Greystone, Mark Erickson is the closest thing there is to a dean on the West Coast campus of the Culinary Institute of America. He even has the appropriate air of reassuring solidity, with his green V-neck sweater and Mr. Rogers manners. Which is why his original motive for joining the food service industry is a bit of a shock: all he wanted was a motorcycle.

His father, patriarch and moral beacon of their working-class home in Minnesota, sent him out to work for it. As luck would have it, the first job that opened up for the 14-year-old Erickson was washing dishes in a hotel restaurant, under a chef whose enthusiasm would forever change the young boy’s view of work. “My family worked to get through the day so they could get to real life, which started after they punched out,” remembers Erickson. “But the chef at the hotel, he always came to work every day so jazzed up. I’d never met anyone who was so excited to go to work.”

Erickson was so impressed that he stayed at the hotel until his high school graduation, and then went straight to the CIA in Hyde Park, N.Y.

Thus began the career of a CIA loyalist. Oh, Erickson did his share of kitchen-hopping (wouldn’t be a chef if he hadn’t). He worked in hotels and resorts along the East Coast, and even pulled a summer stint in Gstaad, the famous Swiss resort town. After returning to the United States, Erickson was on the U.S. Culinary Olympic teams in 1980, 1984, and 1988, and in 1984 he was invited to join the CIA at Hyde Park as a faculty member.

By 1990, at age 32, Erickson had become director of education, overseeing more than 100 chef-instructors. But he felt uncomfortable holding a position of such responsibility at such a young age and returned to the life of a club chef. Soon, his interest in online technology led him to help found Digital Chef, an online site for professional chefs that eventually shifted from professional support to e-commerce and became known as Tavolo.

But Erickson always kept in touch with his alma mater, and when the managing directorship became available last year at the CIA in St. Helena, Erickson jumped at the chance.

During his short time here so far, Erickson hasn’t been inclined to change much about the operation of the campus, which, though only 4 1/2 years old, already offers an astonishing range of continuing education courses, from two-day immersion programs in ethnic cuisines to a 30-week baking-certificate course. More than 4,000 students pass through the huge wooden doors annually, suggesting the wisdom of that old and excellent adage: if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.

Erickson’s current project isn’t a fix; it’s more of an upgrade. He supervised the beta testing of an online course in March, the results of which are being processed now for the first day of general enrollment for online courses on May 1.

The CIA already excels in multimedia visual aids, having been one of the pioneers in video-based vocational training back in the mid-’70s. Putting that content on the Internet is the next logical step for a school serving an industry that boasts such high access to the Web (87 percent of all chefs, according to surveys). And the limitations of the genre are beside the point, says Erickson.

“We know that you can’t teach skills over the Internet,” he explains. “But you can deliver knowledge and introduce concepts. Then when students come to the CIA, the time spent here is a capstone.”

With new media come the inevitable questions about content. Erickson is the first to admit that chefing, especially in restaurants, has changed dramatically over the past 20 or 30 years. Once dishes were the same everywhere, based on strictly codified precepts of continental cuisine. For example, fillet of sole Florentine was sole cooked with butter, shallots, and white wine, and then placed on a bed of spinach with a sauce from the pan drippings. This was true no matter what restaurant you worked in.

Then nouvelle cuisine came along and obliterated the code. “It was great in one way because chefs could feel more comfortable in exercising their creativity,” Erickson says. “But without that code, it’s much more difficult to walk into a restaurant and understand what’s going into a dish.”

Chefs still need to know the old codes, but the growing interest in ethnic influences and the use of ever-more esoteric ingredients create complications for working chefs, who may themselves not be cooking fusion but still feel its influence.

“Once you used to be able to stir-fry something, put some sticky sweet sauce on it, and call it Chinese, and people would accept it,” Erickson says. “Today we talk about Asian food in very specific terms, as Thai or Indian or Szechwan Chinese. You have to have intimate knowledge of the ingredients, and you really need to understand the culture. Because when people eat these ingredients, they’re not just interested in the flavors and textures. They want to know why those things get put together in the first place.

“What is the culture behind this food?”

Even in Europe the tradition-bound restaurant industry is changing, most notably in the field of vocational education and training. The CIA is regularly contacted by governments and private organizations who need help in establishing vocational training to replace the ancient apprenticeship system.

“That system is outmoded, even in Europe,” says Erickson firmly. “You can’t expect that somebody at 14 years of age can make a decision about what they want to do for the rest of their life.”

His slight smile acknowledges the fact that he did just that himself. “I got lucky,” he says. Lucky, indeed. Without a chef, a dad, and a motorcycle–which he did buy and drive into the ground–Erickson probably would have ended up as a tool-and-die maker in Minnesota.

Not the worst fate in the world, but a very different path.

Polenta Tartlets with Lamb Ratatouille

Most of Erickson’s recipes are created for the commercial kitchen, with measurements in pounds instead of cups. This dish is a great party starter for a large early-summer gathering when the traditional ratatouille vegetables are at their finest.

1 1/2 quarts chicken stock 1 1/2 quarts milk 3 c. cornmeal or polenta meal 2 c. grated Parmesan cheese 4 tbsp. olive oil 1/2 pound coarse-ground lean lamb 1 c. finely diced onions 2 garlic cloves, minced 2 tbsp. tomato paste 1/2 c. finely diced red pepper 1/2 c. finely diced yellow squash 1/2 c. finely diced eggplant 1 c. finely diced tomatoes 2 tbsp. balsamic vinegar 1/4 c. chopped fresh basil 2 tbsp. chopped fresh oregano Salt and freshly ground black pepper to taste

1. Combine chicken stock and milk in a large saucepan and bring to a boil. Add cornmeal in a steady stream while whisking. Turn heat to medium-low and cook at a very low boil, stirring continuously, for about 30 minutes, or until mixture is smooth and pulls away from side of pan. Alternatively, once cornmeal has been whisked into boiling liquid, it can be poured into a baking dish, covered, and baked at 325 degrees for 30 minutes.

2. Stir in 1 cup of grated Parmesan and adjust seasonings. Pour mixture onto a lightly oiled half-sheet tray (8 1/2 by 11 by 1 inch) and press into a very smooth layer. Cool overnight or until firm.

3. Invert polenta layer onto a cutting board and cut out small biscuit-sized (1 1/4-inch) pieces with a circle cutter. Use a moist melon baller to create a cup indentation in each circle.

4. Heat olive oil in a large skillet and add ground lamb. Brown lamb lightly. Add onions and garlic and sauté until soft, about 3 minutes. Add tomato paste and sauté briefly. Add remaining vegetables and sauté until vegetables are tender, about 6 to 8 minutes. Add balsamic vinegar and herbs, and season to taste. Preheat oven to 400 degrees.

5. Place polenta circles on a lightly oiled baking tray, fill indentations with a portion of ratatouille mixture, sprinkle with remaining cup of Parmesan cheese, and bake for approximately 12 minutes, until hot and golden brown. Serve immediately.

Makes about 75 tartlets, hors d’oeuvre size.

From the April 13-19, 2000 issue of the Sonoma County Independent.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Home Improvement

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Confessions of a home improvement-disabled male

By Dan Zevin

RECENTLY I decided to build a shelf for the closet. This would have been a good idea if I were one of those hands-on, do-it-yourself guys for whom home repair is second nature. Unfortunately, I’m one of those hands-off, do-it-someone-else guys for whom home repair is a humiliating descent into the depths of incompetence. For I am repair-impaired.

Do you want to know the contents of my toolbox? I will tell you: thumbtacks. OK, I lied. I don’t even have a toolbox. I have a shoebox. A shoebox filled with glue. Not just Elmer’s glue: I have waterproof silicone glue, three kinds of contact cement, a dual-tube mixing pack of two-ton epoxy. Like all of us for whom a “shop” is strictly a place to buy–as opposed to sand–things, I have used glue as a crutch. Here is a list of things I have recently glued: coat rack (to wall); refrigerator vent (to refrigerator); and headlight (to car).

I have no doubt that I inherited my disability from my father, the same man I hold responsible for my nose. My father is a doctor. He knows how to perform knee-replacement surgery. He does not know how to hammer. As a kid, I would sit at the dinner table, enthralled by his tales of life-saving surgery. But every now and then something would disrupt his train of thought.

Dad: Today I performed a quadruple oophorectomy and . . . uh-oh! Light is no longer coming out of that glass thing on the ceiling!

Me: I guess the bulb blew out.

Dad: I’ll call Bob Duris.

Bob Duris was this all-purpose Mr. Fix-It character we non-handymen looked upon with a mix of awe and envy. He possessed tools that required extension cords. When he hammered, he stored the nails in his teeth. Bob Duris could assess any home-improvement task by instinct. “Yep, Doc, looks like your garage-door opener needs a new battery,” Bob Duris would say.

I’ve established a vast network of pro bono Bobs over the years: roommates, landlords, the owner of Massey’s Hardware, whom I once lured to my leaky toilet with the bribe of a bottle of gin. When the good-natured ribbing began (Q: How many Zevins does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: A what?), I just played along. But last year, everything changed. Last year my wife, Megan, and I bought our first house.

If you are a real estate agent, you would refer to this house as “a fixer-upper.” If you are an honest person, however, you would call it “a shit-hole.” Before I knew it, Megan was drilling, spackling, cutting out pages from The Modern Woman’s Guide to Home Repair. I began sneak-reading this tome one night when she was off at Home Depot. She returned to find me soaking wet, shouting expletives at the drainpipe.

“Oh, you don’t have to worry about that,” she said. “I already asked Jeffrey and Rick to help me with that.”

Jeffrey and Rick, it should be noted, are my friends. It was one thing for me to call them whenever I was too incompetent to fix something myself. But it was another thing for her to call them whenever I was too incompetent to fix something myself. Suddenly, I felt like a big nancy-boy in front of my wife. I had to do something to reclaim my manhood. I had to put a shelf in the closet.

And so it is with the hope that I may be an inspiration to the repair-impaired throughout the land that I now leave you with . . . Non-Handyman Dan’s Guide to Basic Closet-Shelf Installation (share it with someone you love).

Step 2: Obtain a shelf. As a budding handyman, I determined that I needed a really big shelf because this was a really big closet. Using my Lucite “Virginia is for lovers” ruler, I measured the area (10 by about 11 rulers) and proceeded to Home Depot to secure a piece of wood. It is not advised to arrive at Home Depot the day they decide they’ll no longer cut wood to size.

Step 3: Cut wood to size. To do this, I found it necessary to buy a saw (a sharp cutting implement available wherever you buy glue). Actually, I found it necessary to buy many saws–a jigsaw, a hacksaw, a circular saw, a rhombus saw–each of which proved to be a more inappropriate saw for the job than the one that preceded it. What I learned from this experience is: it is best not to oversaw. You’ll know it’s time to stop when your wood begins to warp from the perspiration that is pouring off your forehead.

Step 4: Attempt to insert shelf in closet. At long last, I was ready to reap the rewards of my foray into home improvement. I hoisted the shelf into the closet, balanced it atop the clothes-hanger rod, and stepped back to gaze upon my achievement. It was then that I realized I had done something more here than just build a shelf. I had built a shelf with no support brackets. And as it came crashing down, producing a fresh new gash in the floor, a strange calm came over me. I am not a failure, just a beginner, I realized. My wife does not think I am a nancy-boy just because I cannot install a shelf in the closet. I am good at other things, such as gluing.

All of this brings me to the last but most important step for the non-handyman who is considering engaging in home-improvement activities.

Step 5: Call Bob Duris.

Dan Zevin’s latest book is The Nearly-Wed Handbook: How to Survive the Happiest Day of Your Life (Avon Books). You can reach him by visiting www.nearlywed.com.This article originally appeared in the Boston Phoenix.

From the April 6-12, 2000 issue of the Sonoma County Independent.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Beatles Anthology

Beatles–Buy the Book

Fab Three reunite for tell-all tome

By Greg Cahill

ALMOST 30 YEARS to the day (April 10) after they split up, the three surviving Beatles announced last weekend that they have spent the past several years putting all their yesterdays on the printed page for an upcoming official biography.

If the resulting 360-page Beatles Anthology, to be published in the fall, is as tepid as the highly touted Anthologies TV documentary series, then Beatles fans will find yet another reason to rue the day John Lennon fell under gunfire from a demented fan.

A spokesman for the Beatles–Paul McCartney, 57, George Harrison, 57, and Ringo Starr, 59–has promised that the book will be the frankest account of how the band ruled the pop world in the ’60s. “It goes across the board; everything is in there,” said Geoff Baker, McCartney’s publicist. “It is about the Beatles as a band, the music, but it deals with everything else–the tours, the drugs, the disputes.

“The book answers all the questions.”

But with the outspoken Lennon out of the picture, Beatles fans may sense revisionist history in the making. Among other things, Baker has said, the book will counter the contention that McCartney was the first to walk away, even though it was McCartney who filed the first legal affidavit seeking dissolution of the partnership. At the time, the Beatles Let It Be sessions were in a shambles, and the group hadn’t gathered in the studio since Aug. 20, 1969. Lennon, McCartney, and Starr all were working on solo albums. Harrison and Starr already had quit the group during brief spats. And, in September 1969, Lennon had informed the inner circle that he wanted “a divorce,” but was keeping silent because of delicate business negotiations.

But the real truth about the Beatles probably won’t be revealed in the official biography (though the upcoming book undoubtedly will prove somewhat insightful), leaving fans to glean info from the plethora of works already on the market. Here are a few noteworthy reads:

The Beatles: After the Break-Up, 1970-2000, a Day-by-Day Diary (Omnibus, 1999)

One of the best overviews of the post-Beatles Beatles–including a detailed account of Lennon’s last day–though author Keith Badman missed the recent assault on Harrison by a knife-wielding fan.

The Beatles: An Oral History (Hyperion, 1998)

The formation of the band and its rapid evolution–from the ebullient teen pop of “She Loves You” to the transformative psychedelia of “Tomorrow Never Knows” in just three years–is bountiful grist for editor David Pritchard and interviewer Alan Lysaght. Key players in the band’s development offer accounts in a riveting Ken Burns-like documentary style.

The Beatles: Every Little Thing; A Compendium of Witty, Weird, and Ever-Surprising Facts About the Fab Four (Avon, 1998)

From the wild nights of Germany’s tawdry bar gigs to the last day the band members spent in the studio, author Maxwell MacKenzie dishes the dirt on the Maharishi, the misunderstanding in Manila, and much more.

Carry That Weight: The Story of the Beatles (Xlibris, 1998)

Author Ernst E. Schutze takes pop history very seriously, thank you, retelling the Beatles myth as a modern Oedipus legend in this clever novel. Money, power, blood lust, and death (in this case, a McCartney look-alike comes on the scene to craft Sgt. Pepper’s) could make for a great Oliver Stone flick.

The Beatles: Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band (Cambridge Music, 1997)

A thoughtful examination of the 1967 album that marked the band’s creative apex and helped reshape pop music, with analysis by London College of Music professor Allan Moore and various commentators.

Ticket to Ride: The Extraordinary Diary of the Beatles’ Last Tour (Dowling, 1996)

Barry Tashian’s personal journal of the Beatles’ final tour (peaking in the melee in Manila and culminating at Candlestick Park) by a musician whose proto-punk garage-rock band, the Remains (one of the best American bands in the British Invasion era), accompanied the Fab Four on their stateside dates. Full of behind-the-scenes glimpses and backstage banter.

The Day John Met Paul: An Hour-by-Hour Account of How the Beatles Began (Scholastic, 1996)

This is essential reading for diehard fans. The rest of you–the ones who are thinking, “Beatlemaniacs–fer chrissakes, get a life!”–might want to skip this puppy and give that latest Oasis album another listen instead.

The Complete Beatles Chronicle: The Only Definitive Guide to the Beatles’ Entire Career (Hamlyn, 1992)

Still one of the best of its kind, with a foreword by Beatles producer George Martin. Author Mark Lewisohn provides an exhaustive 365-page year-by-year account of the band’s comings and goings, from 1957 to 1970. Lewisohn delves into concert dates, recording sessions, key personnel changes, and other critical data, all matched with a series of insightful and clear-eyed analyses of the band’s triumphs and failures.

From the April 6-12, 2000 issue of the Sonoma County Independent.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Earth Day

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Spring Cleaning

Biggest Earth Day ever demands ‘Clean Energy Now!’

By Sally Deneen

DENIS HAYES is back. The menace he’s stalking this time: dirty energy, which contributes to global warming and befouls the air in the world’s cities. The last time Denis Hayes organized Earth Day, in 1990, 200 million people turned out–and a recycling craze swept America. Before that, Hayes and then U.S. Sen. Gaylord Nelson, D-Wisc., made history by getting 20 million people to rally for clean air and water for the first Earth Day in 1970, a groundswell credited with spurring Nixon-era passage of the landmark Clean Air Act, the Clean Water Act, and the formation of the federal Environmental Protection Agency.

Now Hayes has returned for a third time to put on what promises to be the world’s biggest environmental event ever. Earth Day 2000–the 30th anniversary of Earth Day on April 22–is expected to rile up 500 million people on all continents and in more than 160 nations. People from hugely divergent backgrounds all seem to be getting involved somehow, from Chicago college kids devising ways to avoid trash problems at what they hope will be the first sustainable rock concert, to Afghani refugees learning about better wastewater disposal in their temporary refugee camps.

Working for a Watershed

Will the 2000 Earth Day change history, as did its predecessors? From schoolkids to priests, lots of people have their own hopes about that and have already started the Earth Day countdown with intriguing energy-saving projects sprouting up around the nation. Given that every time we turn on a light switch, car ignition, lawn mower or electric can opener we contribute to the greenhouse gases going into the atmosphere, this Earth Day message hits close to home for consumers as much as for politicians and businesses. The event’s rally cry: “Clean Energy Now!”

Environmental deep thinkers are saying that the next big trade and business revolution could be sparked if the United States and other nations would only ratify the Kyoto Protocol, the 1997 treaty hammered out in Kyoto, Japan, to get countries to agree to take specific steps to reduce the output of greenhouse gases. In a not-so-subtle nudge to federal legislators, Earth Day festivities host and actor Leonardo DiCaprio is to walk onstage at the nation’s main Earth Day event in Washington, D.C., wearing a T-shirt that reads simply, “Kyoto.” Meanwhile, Hayes, a mild-mannered man who seems an unlikely ringleader, is on a mission to combat global warming, person by person. He is pushing the Earth Day 2000 Clean Energy Agenda, a document developed by a consortium of major environmental organizations, including the Natural Resources Defense Council. It demands what some call “The Four Cleans”–clean cars, clean power, clean air, and clean investments.

Consumers should be able to buy sport-utility vehicles and pickup trucks, for instance, that are subject to the same air pollution standards as cars, adherents say. New cars and trucks should get an average 45 miles per gallon by 2010 and 65 miles per gallon by 2020. And instead of spending tax dollars subsidizing coal, oil, and nuclear power, there should be a fourfold increase in federal investments in renewable energy and energy efficiency over the next five years. A good goal, they say: By 2020, at least one-third of the nation’s energy should come from the sun, wind, or other renewable sources (excluding hydro power, which has caused damage to wild rivers and fish populations).

And while we’re at it, say Earth Day organizers, let’s clean up the air by setting progressively tighter pollution limits on power plants. A current loophole lets old coal-fired plants pollute much more than newer plants. Organizers are asking the public to jump aboard the Clean Energy Now! campaign by endorsing it at www.earthday.net or signing up at Earth Day events. “No issue is more critical to our future than global warming,” contends John Adams, president of the Natural Resources Defense Council and a board member of Earth Day Network. “That’s why our campaign focuses not only on the problem of global warming, but also on the solution–clean energy.”

“Global warming is [a problem] we know how to solve,” adds Hayes, who was a Harvard Law intern working in the office of Sen. Nelson when Nelson tapped him to organize the first Earth Day in 1970. Now, 30 years later, Hayes is chair of the Earth Day Network, based in Seattle.

“At this point, all we need is the determination to do it,” says Michelle Ackermann, Earth Day Network spokesperson. “Let’s not get held up by what elected officials will or won’t do; let’s just start doing it. If we want more fuel-efficient cars, we can start asking American car manufacturers to go ahead and make those fuel-efficient cars available to us.” (Japanese carmakers don’t need that message: they’re selling both the Honda Insight and Toyota Prius, highly fuel-efficient “hybrid” cars with both gas and electric motors, on the U.S. market this year.)

Happenings: Highlights of local Earth Day events.

A Broad Coalition

Changing the world one person at a time is an appealing idea that so far has attracted at least 3,200 green-minded religious, government, or other organizations worldwide to jump aboard the Earth Day 2000 bandwagon. Taking to heart the idea of being God’s good stewards of the earth, the Rev. Sally Bingham hopes to entice Episcopal congregations all over California to switch to green power by Earth Day 2000, just as her Grace Cathedral in San Francisco has.

“The cathedral is saving money,” says Bingham, who is also co-director of a program she started called Episcopal Power and Light. The cathedral shaved at least 10 percent off its power bill with energy-saving efforts such as installing sensors that automatically switch off lights when a person leaves the room. Too warm? She opens windows instead of turning on the air conditioner. Regular light bulbs are gone. Cool-burning, energy-saving compact fluorescent bulbs have taken their place. Plus, renewable energy costs 1 to 2 percent less than regular electricity, Bingham says.

When she preaches on her bully pulpit, though, cost savings aren’t her overriding concern. Encouraging the new green-power industry also creates jobs. This way, she says, people “walk a little lighter on the land. You wouldn’t love God and destroy what God created. . . . Our parishioners can save money, save the world, and create green jobs, all by making a phone call.” At first, however, Bingham adds, “We certainly did have lots of skeptics–people we called the Doubting Toms.”

Global warming isn’t an issue, some of these skeptics counter. Others simply resist change. Still others fear that a breakup of the electricity industry would result in a confusing consumer morass, the way the telephone industry’s breakup has. But Bingham–who takes her consciousness-raising slide show from church to church, just as a compatriot does in Pennsylvania churches–has a ready reply.

“I’ve only had one case where people decided they didn’t want to switch power companies,” she says, adding that 25 Bay Area churches switched by December.

Verdant Chicago

Chicago Mayor Richard M. Daley is preaching from a bully pulpit of his own, backing efforts to clean up the city’s dirty air and testing ways to lessen the heat-island effect by greening rooftops–including that of City Hall. By Earth Day, 21,000 different plants, including two oaks, are to take root atop the 11-story building’s black-tar roof. Most are low-maintenance ground-cover plants rooted in four-inch-deep soil. Butterflies are expected to eventually flutter amid shrubs and prairie grass planted in deeper soil. The city expects to save $4,000 a year in heating and cooling costs from the 20,000-square-foot garden, since plants are better insulators than merciless black tar.

According to Hashem Akbari, a scientist at Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory in Berkeley, Chicago could save even more money, considering the square-foot cost of $10 to $20 to plant gardens, if it simply painted the roof white, which would cost 60 cents to $1 per square foot. Cheaper yet–listen up, homeowners–the city could wait until it’s time to reroof, then order a white roof instead of dark. “At that time, you won’t pay anything extra,” Akbari says.

But pleasant green rooftops make a statement in a high rise-dominated downtown. Greenery also does a better job insulating during the fabled blustery winters and reducing storm-water runoff (easing the load on sewers), argues Bill Abolt, Chicago’s environment department commissioner. Plus, “it makes the point about air quality–cities are getting hotter.”

Business considerations are driving Chicago’s zest to slow down its smoggy contribution to global warming. Air pollution is so bad that the federal government calls the Windy City a “severe nonattainment area for ozone,” which translates into bigger hurdles for industries that want to relocate to the city. Compliance–including the cost of hiring consultants–costs as much as 50 times more and takes at least twice as long if a factory wants to relocate in a brown field in Chicago instead of head to virgin land just outside the zone, says Abolt. Hoping also to shake an unhealthy, smoggy image in order to attract more white-collar jobs, the city is working on several ideas to clear the air–including a lawnmower buy-back program to remove notorious carbon-belching polluters. Residents ideally would switch to easy-care natural landscaping.

Creative Approaches

Yet Earth Day is about empowering everyone, big and small, and an amazing array of folks are jumping aboard with unusual projects. Take the tens of thousands of Clevelanders who will learn en route about Cuyahoga River pollution on a walk/run that ends at a huge EarthFest at the zoo.

But Earth Day is no longer solely an American event. Around the world, celebrations take unique cultural coloration. In Great Britain, for instance, the Rainforest Foundation-UK is taking over a commercial space in central London for a renewable energy fair, complemented by exhibits that tie together environmental and human rights issues. The Conservation Foundation is organizing Australia’s energy-related event, while New Zealand’s Department of Conservation is focusing on recruiting women to work on natural resource conservation projects.

Perhaps because it’s one of the world’s leading carmakers, Japan will create a car-free zone in Tokyo on Earth Day, with parades and fairs around the renowned Rainbow Bridge. Earth Day Japan is campaigning to end production of ozone-damaging chlorofluorocarbons in the country. In India, a women’s group will use solar panels to create crafts on Earth Day. Tel Aviv, Israel, was the site of a huge event in 1999, and Green Action there promises that the 2000 festival will be much bigger. In Jordan, Queen Noor herself is heading an Earth Day celebration coordinated by the Royal Society for the Conservation of Nature. And in Hanoi, Vietnam, a bird-watching club is being organized.

Some 30,000 students will plant trees in Mexico City, and schoolchildren in Brazil will decorate U.N. buildings with woven cloth gathered from other classrooms around the world. In environmentally threatened Madagascar, a concert will be coordinated with a cleanup of the capital city and the release of a special film. In Ghana, a three-day workshop will focus on medicinal plants, conservation of fresh water, renewable energy, and desertification. And in what is surely a sign of our times, Afghanis in refugee camps will learn about wastewater management, an important topic for people living in crowded conditions.

Greening Schools

Passion is evident. Erin Porter did an environmental audit of the photography lab at her Pittsburgh High School in California as part of her environmental club’s schoolwide green audit for Earth Day 2000. Porter aimed to find out if the fixer was recycled and chemicals properly handled. “The teacher was slightly hesitant at first,” says Porter. But for naught. If the green survey were a report card, she says, the lab would get an A. What Porter really noticed, however, was how she started to view chemicals back home. Now, she says, “I’m much more conscious of what I’m dumping down the sink.”

Students across the country are sleuthing around schools to see if they’re using the right light bulbs for energy efficiency or recycling to save landfill space. They’re doing it with help from Earth Teams, a program based in Contra Costa, Calif., that provides teachers with relevant, fun projects for what they already need to teach while jumping aboard the Earth Day theme.

Kids can chat online about what they’re learning and get materials at www.earthteam.net. “It is going beautifully,” Earth Teams founder Sheila Fish says, happy about the demand. “It is almost more than I can handle because people are loving the project.” Kids don’t consider it painful work. Instead, she says, “they’re eager.”

“What they really like is the fact that it’s tied to other students at other high schools,” notices Dan Hanel, science coordinator for the Pittsburgh Unified School District. Not that the Clean Energy Now! message of Earth Day is a slam dunk, an event certain to change all our lives. While nearly nine out of 10 Americans say they are concerned about the nation’s environment, the question is whether they’re willing to make changes personally. Roper’s “1998 Green Gauge Report” found that consumers at both ends of the green scene–the activists and the unconcerned–say they won’t pay a premium for greener goods. Activists who use more Earth-friendly products don’t think they should pay extra to do so, and people who couldn’t care less about the environment don’t see why they should pay more for products, according to the poll reported in American Demographics magazine. All this suggests that products had better be competitively priced if greenhouse gases are to be curbed.

“We’re not out of the woods,” says David Brower, 87, dean of America’s modern environmental movement. Fearing that he spent his years at the helm of the Sierra Club, Earth Island Institute, and Friends of the Earth simply “slowing down” destruction instead of stopping it cold, Brower nonetheless says we may be on the verge of an initial turnaround. The best sign, he says, is the new alliance of labor and environmentalists protesting publicly together at Seattle’s World Trade Organization meeting in November. “That started something that I think is catching power,” says Brower, who predicts the WTO protests will be looked on as a watershed event. Echoing the battle cry of the Alamo, he now tells people: “Remember Seattle.”

Organizers hope people will also be saying, “Remember Earth Day 2000”–a happier, let’s-put-on-a-show kind of event. Hayes sees Earth Day as a catalyst to encourage people to incorporate what they’ve learned during the event in their daily lives throughout the year. As a guy who rides his bike to work and uses compact fluorescent bulbs at home, Hayes practices what he preaches. He figures changing the world starts with each of us. Him. You.

Asked what single personal action would help the most to lessen the greenhouse gases sent into the atmosphere, Hayes and actor DiCaprio mull over a few of the thousands of ways people impact the earth. “The obvious answer is buy the right car,” says Hayes. Honda’s new two-seat, 80-miles-per-gallon Insight, for instance, sells for less than $20,000. And for slightly more money, there’s the four-seat, 60-miles-per-gallon Toyota Prius, which claims to cut gas consumption and carbon dioxide emissions by half, plus slice pollutants by 90 percent.

DiCaprio already knew about hybrid cars, and by the end of the conversation he has promised to buy one within the year. DiCaprio made his intentions clear in an online chat last November. “You fill it up at any service station [and] it gets 60 miles per gallon,” he told Yahoo fans. That’s a start.

For Hayes, that’s one person down, millions more to go.

From the April 6-12, 2000 issue of the Sonoma County Independent.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Usual Suspects

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Supervisors select temporary replacement for county administrator

By Greg Cahill

COUNTY supervisors and staff mourned the death this week of Sonoma County Administrator Tom Schopflin, who shot himself Saturday at his Santa Rosa home.

On Monday, Supervisor Tim Smith, a close friend, disclosed that Schopflin had battled alcoholism and depression.

The Board of Supervisors met in a special session earlier that day and selected Deputy Administrator Mike Chrystal, 57, to take over Shopflin’s responsibilities temporarily.

Schopflin, 50, had served in his post since 1985. He was a respected public official who operated outside the limelight while supervising the county’s $680 million budget and 3,700 employees.

Friends and colleagues were stunned to learn of Shopflin’s death, describing him as being in good spirits the day before at a weekly Empire Breakfast Club gathering.

At about 6:15 p.m. on Saturday, Schopflin went to a back bedroom and shot himself with a .38 caliber handgun. His wife, Sondra, reportedly was working on an upholstery project at the time, and one of his two teenage sons was working on a truck.

Supervisors postponed their regular public hearing on Tuesday morning and bumped agenda items to next week, convening instead an often emotional special meeting that permitted friends and co-workers to pay tribute to Schopflin.

Funeral services were tentatively scheduled for Thursday, April 6, at the First Presbyterian Church in Santa Rosa.

Activist Must Pay Hurwitz $110,000

IN A BIZARRE TWIST, a federal appeals court last week ordered longtime North Coast environmentalist Bob Martel to pay the owner of Pacific Lumber Co. $110,000 in legal fees after agreeing that a lawsuit Martel filed had been frivolous.

Martel and an army of activists have sought to link Charles Hurwitz’s takeover of Pacific Lumber to a failed 1988 Texas savings and loan that resulted in a $1.6 billion taxpayer bailout. The allegation is at the heart of a so-called debt-for-nature swap in which environmentalists propose that Hurwitz and Maxxam, Pacific Lumber’s parent company, turn over timberland to the public in exchange for the S&L payment.

A 12-year-old claim by the federal Office of Thrift Supervision is pending against Hurwitz and Maxxam.

Martel had claimed that Hurwitz defrauded the federal government by allegedly hiding his role in the failed S&L so that taxpayers would have to pay the bailout.

A trial court dismissed the original lawsuit, ruling that Martel knew there was no legal basis for it.

Last week, the three-judge panel found Martel guilty of “regurgitating politicized half-truths” in his lawsuit.

Martel has said he will not pay Hurwitz. “I have nothing. I practice poverty,” he said in a published report.

“You can’t get blood out of a stone.”

Diocese Denies Logging Linked to Sex Scandal Debt

CATHOLIC CHURCH officials have denied a claim by local activists that a plan to log 62 acres of redwoods in Occidental is connected to a move to repay $16 million in debt incurred after sex scandal payments sparked a fiscal crisis in the Diocese of Santa Rosa.

The land, adjacent to ecologically sensitive fish spawning grounds on Salmon Creek, is owned by the San Francisco diocese, officials say, and has no connection to the Santa Rosa diocese.

The plan calls for loggers to thin 30 percent of the trees at the Catholic Youth Organization’s McGucken Center, a summer camp and environmental program serving 7,000 children each year. The area is an important habitat for threatened salmon and steelhead species.

Local environmentalists say any logging on the property will promote erosion and damage the creek.

Public comments on the plan, which still must be approved by state forestry officials, are being accepted until Tuesday, April 11.

From the April 6-12, 2000 issue of the Sonoma County Independent.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Gatmo Studio

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Moanin’ Parade have released a self-produced CD of experimental music, featuring Tom Waits and recorded at Knowlton’s Gatmo Studio.

Parade Rest

Tom Waits joins local bands for a wild experimental ride

By Karl Byrn

WALKING INTO Gatmo Studio, a 12-by-20-foot home studio operated by west county resident Gary Knowlton, a musician’s eyes settle on familiar items: a small PA system, a 16-track mixing board, mike stands, extra guitars, and shelves full of tapes. But the most visible and intriguing items aren’t found in typical studios: experimental instruments like the Bug, the T-Rodimba, the Water Harp, the Buffoon-a-phone, and a wall of hubcaps.

“The Cadillac and the Olds sound the best,” Knowlton quips enthusiastically.

Since the late ’80s, the 52-year-old multi-instrumentalist has hosted jam sessions at Gatmo with a number of like-minded local musicians–primarily collectors and inventors of rare and strange instruments, artists who are driven neither by the machinery of touring and hits nor even by formal songwriting, but by a thirst for improvised sonic experiments. The highlights of some stellar sessions from 1993 to 1997 are now out on disc as Moanin’ Parade (The Gatmo Sessions, Vol. 1), available at local music stores or on the Internet through the Santa Rosa-based label Jackalope.

Moanin’ Parade features two groups. One is Knowlton’s own trio, Petit Mal, with his brother Michael and former neighbor Richard Waters, inventor of the waterphone (a device sometimes used for eerie deep-sea sound effects in films). The other is the quartet C-Side (or California Sonic Instrument Designers Ensemble), which includes Waters and other inventors, like Marin musician Bart Hopkin, who is best known for assembling the acclaimed 1996 Ellipsis Arts compilation Gravikords, Whirlies & Pyrophones and its 1998 follow-up, Orbitones, Spoonharps & Bellowphones.

Both Waters and Sonoma County resident Tom Waits appear on the Hopkin CDs; Waits also wrote the foreword to Gravikords.

Several guest improvisers also appear on the Moanin’ Parade disc, including Waits, who adds vocals or keyboards on all the tracks. Indeed, the CD is reminiscent of Waits’ more experimental recordings, circa 1993’s The Black Rider.

“When I first moved here, I started hearing these really weird sounds,” Knowlton says of the opportunity that brought him to meet Waters. The sound turned out to be his neighbor’s amplified waterphone, and recording experiments at Gatmo Studio began. Knowlton’s background in bluegrass and blues-rock expanded to follow the ideas that “you can get a sound out of anything” and that “there’s no right or wrong way to play.”

Knowlton owns more than 30 experimental instruments, but Petit Mal will feature conventional instruments like the trumpet or the bass guitar. C-Side explores the inventors’ own unusual percussive and humming devices, like Hopkin’s kelp saxophone, Darrell DeVore’s wind wands, and Tom Nunn’s huge xylophonelike wood and metal sculptures. C-Side members owe a debt to the 1950s instrument inventor Harry Partch, while they echo influences of African and Asian music. Petit Mal jam around sounds pulled from free jazz, Dixieland, and field hollers.

“I know our music isn’t for everyone,” Knowlton says of the disc’s atonality, shifting shapes, and nonlinear rhythms. “To some people there’re parts [of this music] that may be annoying. But if there’re things that can be taken as funny, or if the listener can go ‘Wow, that’s interesting’ or ‘Wow, that’s different,’ then there is an audience for [this music].”

Indeed, Doug Jayne of Jackalope (and the Last Record Store) says the label has seen brisk Internet sales, owing in part to a mention of Moanin’ Parade on Waits’ official Web page. “We’ve been selling 10 or 20 a day” over the Net, he says, “and [at the store] we never sell 10 or 20 of anything in a day.”

With this strong response, Knowlton is already planning to release Swarm Warnings (The Gatmo Sessions, Vol. 2) by late spring or early summer.

THE CUTS ON Moanin’ Parade and Swarm Warnings were entirely improvised with no post-recording overdubs, as Knowlton designed Gatmo in a way that dampens louder sounds and accentuates quieter ones. Apart from occasional small contact mikes on the instruments, the acoustic sessions were recorded simply with two room mikes running through a pre-amp to DAT. As for composition, the pieces began as “concepts.” For example, Knowlton mentions a concept such as sustain, where all notes must be held rather than struck or plucked, and a concept of starting with no rhythm, working toward a basic pulse and shifting to a new and distinct rhythm.

“I can go back in [when editing] and say, ‘Yeah, right there it really starts brewing,'” Knowlton says, adding that “I try to use other people’s ears as much as possible.” It’s part of the Gatmo philosophy that one should “never do the same song the same way twice.”

Knowlton notes that the C-Side and Petit Mal musicians still have to work for a living. His own day job as a special-education instructor at the Sonoma Developmental Center reflects a generosity and imagination that help make his Gatmo sessions a true and pure alternative music. While he’s not impressed with so-called alternative rock, he cites Beck as a current wonder, admires the energy that punk brings to pop, and respects the technical arts of sampling and mixing.

After Swarm Warnings, Knowlton plans to match various guests for a series of odd and unpredictable duo and trio recordings. “Music doesn’t have limits,” he says. By chasing the edges of chance, Knowlton and his companions have created what a graffito on Gatmo’s ceiling calls “alien folk music.”

From the April 6-12, 2000 issue of the Sonoma County Independent.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Sonoma County Illustrators Exhibit

By JavaScript must be enabled to display this email address. PICTURE BOOK illustrators usually take a back seat--and second billing--to the authors that write children's books. But the Sebastopol Library is turning the tables on this trend with its current exhibition of illustrations by three prominent Sonoma County illustrators. ...

‘Falstaff’

Big Laughs Cinnabar Opera Theater delivers a delightful version of Verdi's very funny 'Falstaff' By Daedalus Howell AH, THE SEASONS have finally shifted and who better to caterwaul the sprung rhythms of spring than Shakespeare's rotund scalawag Sir John Falstaff? Under the expert eyes and ears of stage director Elly Lichenstein...

Corporate Crime

Crime in the Suites How Armani-clad crooks are robbing U.S. taxpayers of $3.8 billion each year By Jim Hightower THERE'S A CRIME wave under way in America, but the Powers That Be are getting sore necks from looking the other way. I'm talking about corporate crime. When it comes to robbing...

Usual Suspects

Allegations of racism surface at Maria Carrillo High School in Santa Rosa By Greg Cahill THE PARENTS of three African-American teenage girls at predominantly white Maria Carrillo High School are charging that students have subjected their daughters to racial slurs and other harassment, and that school officials have failed to enforce a campus no-tolerance policy...

Mark Erickson of the Culinary Institute of America

Class Act Mark Erickson keeps Culinary Institute of America at Greystone cookin' By Marina Wolf AS MANAGING director of CIA-Greystone, Mark Erickson is the closest thing there is to a dean on the West Coast campus of the Culinary Institute of America. He even has the appropriate air of...

Home Improvement

Confessions of a home improvement-disabled male By Dan Zevin RECENTLY I decided to build a shelf for the closet. This would have been a good idea if I were one of those hands-on, do-it-yourself guys for whom home repair is second nature. Unfortunately, I'm one of those hands-off, do-it-someone-else guys for whom home...

Beatles Anthology

Beatles--Buy the Book Fab Three reunite for tell-all tome By Greg Cahill ALMOST 30 YEARS to the day (April 10) after they split up, the three surviving Beatles announced last weekend that they have spent the past several years putting all their yesterdays on the printed page for an upcoming official...

Earth Day

Spring Cleaning Biggest Earth Day ever demands 'Clean Energy Now!' By Sally Deneen DENIS HAYES is back. The menace he's stalking this time: dirty energy, which contributes to global warming and befouls the air in the world's cities. The last time Denis Hayes organized Earth Day, in 1990, 200 million people...

Usual Suspects

Supervisors select temporary replacement for county administrator By Greg Cahill COUNTY supervisors and staff mourned the death this week of Sonoma County Administrator Tom Schopflin, who shot himself Saturday at his Santa Rosa home. On Monday, Supervisor Tim Smith, a close friend, disclosed that Schopflin had battled alcoholism and depression. ...

Gatmo Studio

Moanin' Parade have released a self-produced CD of experimental music, featuring Tom Waits and recorded at Knowlton's Gatmo Studio. Parade Rest Tom Waits joins local bands for a wild experimental ride By Karl Byrn WALKING INTO Gatmo Studio, a 12-by-20-foot home studio operated by west county resident Gary Knowlton, a...
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