The Counterculture Colonel

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07.02.08


It was billed as a panel discussion on “the global shift in human consciousness.” A half-dozen speakers had assembled inside the Heebie Jeebie Healers tent at Burning Man, the annual post-hippie celebration in Black Rock, Nev., where 50,000 stalwarts braved intense dust storms and flash floods last August. Among the notables who spoke at the early evening forum was Dr. Alexander (“Sasha”) Shulgin, the Bay Area&–based psychochemical genius much beloved among the Burners, who synthesized Ecstasy and 200 other psychoactive drugs, and tested each one on himself during his unique, off-beat career.

Sitting on the panel next to Shulgin was an unlikely expositor. Dr. James S. Ketchum, a retired U.S. Army colonel, told the audience, “When Sasha was trying to open minds with chemicals to achieve greater awareness, I was busy trying to subdue people.”

Ketchum was referring to his work at Edgewood Arsenal, headquarters of the U.S. Army Chemical Corps, in the 1960s, when America’s national security strategists were high on the prospect of developing a nonlethal incapacitating agent, a so-called humane weapon, which could knock people out without necessarily killing anyone. Top military officers hyped the notion of “war without death,” conjuring visions of aircraft swooping over enemy territory releasing clouds of “madness gas” that would disorient the bad guys and dissolve their will to resist, while U.S. soldiers moved in and took over.

Ketchum was into weapons of mass elation, not weapons of mass destruction. He oversaw a secret research program that tested an array of mind-bending drugs on American GIs, including an exceptionally potent form of synthetic marijuana. (Most of these drugs had no medical names, just numbers supplied by the Army.) “Paradoxical as it may seem,” Ketchum asserted, “one can use chemical weapons to spare lives, rather than extinguish them.”

Some of the Burners were perplexed. Was this guy cool or creepy?

Shulgin, a critic of chemical mind-meddling by the military, was wary when he first met Ketchum at a 1993 event honoring the 50th anniversary of the discovery of LSD. But Ketchum is not your typical military bulldozer type. An intelligent, gracious man with a disarming sense of humor, in his own way Ketchum has always been a free spirit. He and his wife, Judy, who currently reside in Santa Rosa, became close friends with Sasha and his formidable partner, Ann. They stayed in frequent contact and occasionally socialized together. When the Shulgins invited them to Burning Man, the Ketchums joined the caravan of RVs driving to the desert.

“I’m kind of a Sasha worshipper,” Ketchum, who reads neuropharmacology textbooks during his leisure hours, confessed. Tall and lanky, the colonel, now 76, is one of the few people who can actually understand what Shulgin, six years his senior, is talking about when he lectures on the molecular subtleties of psychedelic drugs, waving his arms furiously like a mad scientist. Sasha took Ketchum under his wing and welcomed him into the fold.

Shulgin wrote the foreword to Ketchum’s self-published memoir, Chemical Warfare: Secrets Almost Forgotten (www.forgottensecrets.net), which lifts the veil on the Army’s little-known drug experiments and illuminates a hidden chapter of marijuana history. A graduate of Cornell Medical College, Ketchum describes how he was assigned as a staff psychiatrist to Edgewood Arsenal, located 25 miles northeast of Baltimore, in 1961.

“There was no doubt in my mind that working in this strange atmosphere was just the sort of thing that would satisfy my appetite for novelty,” Ketchum wrote. Soon he became chief of clinical research at the Army’s hub for chemical warfare studies. Although the Geneva Convention had banned the use of chemical weapons, Washington never agreed to this provision, and the U.S. government poured money into the search for a nonlethal incapacitant.

Red Oil

The U.S. Army Chemical Corp’s marijuana research began several years before Ketchum joined the team at Edgewood. In 1952, the Shell Development Corporation was contracted by the Army to examine “synthetic cannabis derivatives” for their incapacitating properties. Additional studies into possible military uses of marijuana began two years later at the University of Michigan medical school, where a group of scientists led by Dr. Edward F. Domino, professor of pharmacology, tested a drug called “EA 1476” —otherwise known as “Red Oil”—on dogs and monkeys at the behest of the U.S. Army. Made through a process of chemical extraction and distillation, Red Oil (akin to hash oil) packed a mightier punch than the natural plant.

Army scientists found that this concentrated cannabis derivative produced effects unlike anything they had previously seen. “The dog gets a peculiar reaction. He crawls under the table, stays away from the dark, leaps out at imaginary objects and, as far as one can interpret, may be having hallucinations,” one report stated. “It would appear even to the untrained observer that this dog is not normal. He suddenly jumps out, even without any stimulus, and barks, and then crawls back under the table.”

With a larger dose of Red Oil, the reaction was even more pronounced. “These animals lie on their side; you could step on their feet without any response; it is an amazing effect and a reversible phenomenon. It has greatly increased our interest in this compound from the standpoint of future chemical possibilities.”

In the late 1950s, the Army started testing Red Oil on U.S. soldiers at Edgewood. Some GIs smirked for hours while they were under the influence of EA 1476. When asked to perform routine numbers and spatial reasoning tests, the stoned volunteers couldn’t stop laughing.

But Red Oil was not an ideal chemical-warfare candidate. For starters, it was a “crude” preparation that contained many components of cannabis besides psychoactive THC. Army scientists surmised that pure THC would weigh much less than Red Oil and would therefore be better suited as a chemical weapon. They were intrigued by the possibility of amplifying the active ingredient of marijuana, tweaking the mother molecule, as it were, to enhance its psychogenic effects. So the Chemical Corps set its sights on developing a synthetic variant of THC that could clobber people without killing them.

Enter Harry Pars, a scientist working with Arthur D. Little Inc., based in Cambridge, Mass., one of several pharmaceutical companies that conducted chemical-warfare research for the Army. (Two Army contracts for marijuana-related research were awarded to this firm, covering a 10-year period beginning in 1963.) A frequent visitor to Edgewood, Pars synthesized a new cannabinoid compound, dubbed “EA 2233,” which was significantly stronger than Red Oil.

At the outset of this project, Pars had sought the advice of Dr. Alexander Shulgin, then a brilliant young chemist employed by Dow Chemical. Shulgin was a veritable fount of information regarding how to reshape psychoactive molecules to create novel mind-altering drugs. Eager to share his arcane expertise, Shulgin gave Pars the idea to tinker with nitrogen analogs of tetrahydrocannabinol (THC). Pars never told Sasha that he was an Army contract employee. A declassified version of Pars’ research was published in the Journal of the American Chemical Society (August 1966), in which he thanked Shulgin for “drawing our attention to the synthesis of these nitrogen analogs.”

The U.S. Army Chemical Corps began clinical testing of EA 2233 on GI volunteers in 1961, the year Ketchum arrived at Edgewood Arsenal. When ingested at dosage levels ranging from 10 to 60 micrograms per kilogram of body weight, EA 2233 lasted up to 30 hours, far longer than the typical marijuana buzz.

‘I Just Feel Like Laughing’

In an interview videotaped seven hours after he had been given EA 2233, one soldier described feeling numb in his arms and unable to raise them, precluding any possibility that he could defend himself if attacked. “Everything seems comical,” he told his interlocutor.

Q: How are you?

A: Pretty good, I guess. . . .

Q: You’ve got a big grin on your face.

A: Yeah. I don’t know what I’m grinning about either.

Q: Do things seem funny or is that just something you can’t help?

A: I don’t—I don’t know. I just—I just feel like laughing. . . .

Q: Does the time seem to pass slower or faster or any different than usual?

A: No different than usual. Just—just that I mostly lose track of it. I don’t know if it’s early or late.

Q: Do you find yourself doing any daydreaming?

A: Yeah. I’m daydreaming all kinds of things. . . .

Q: Suppose you have to get up and go to work now. How would you do?

A: I don’t think I’d even care.

Q: Well, suppose the place were on fire?

A: It would seem funny.

Q: It would seem funny? Do you think you’d have the sense to get up and run out or do you think you’d just enjoy it?

A: I don’t know. Fire doesn’t seem to present any danger to me right now. . . . Everything just seems funny in the Army. Seems like everything somebody says, it sounds a little bit funny. . . .

Q: Is it like when you’re in a good mood and you can laugh at anything?

A: Right. . . . It’s like being out with a bunch of people and everybody’s laughing. They’re just—

Q: Having a ball?

A: Yeah. And everything just seems funny.

Q: Would you do this again? Take this test again?

A: Yeah. Yeah. It wouldn’t bother me at all.

EA 2233 was actually a mixture of eight stereoisomers of THC. (An isomer is a rearrangement of atoms within a given molecule; a stereoisomer entails different spatial configurations of these atoms.) Eventually, Edgewood scientists would separate the eight stereoisomers and investigate the relative potency of each of them individually in an effort to separate the wheat from the psychoactive chaff and reduce the amount of material needed to get the desired effect for chemical warfare.

Only two of the stereoisomers proved to be of interest (the others didn’t have much of a knockdown effect). When administered intravenously, low doses of these two synthetic cousins of tetrahydrocannabinol triggered a dramatic drop in blood pressure to the point where test subjects could barely move. Standing up without assistance was impossible. This was construed by cautious Army doctors as a warning sign—a sudden plunge in blood pressure could be dangerous—and human experiments with single THC stereoisomers were suspended.

Looking back on these studies, Ketchum wonders whether his colleagues made the right decision. “This hypotensive [blood-pressure-reducing] property, in an otherwise nonlethal compound, might be an ideal way to produce a temporary inability to fight, or do much else, without toxicological danger to life,” Ketchum says now. Given the high safety margin of THC—no one has ever died from an overdose—and the likelihood that the stereoisomers would display a similar safety profile, Ketchum believes the Army may have spurned a couple of worthy prospects that were capable of filling the knock-’em-out-but-don’t-kill-’em niche in America’s chemical-warfare arsenal.

As for the two exemplary stereoisomers weaned from EA 2233, Ketchum speculates, “They probably would have been safe in terms of life-sparing activity. . . . But a person who received them would have to lie down. If he tried to stand up and get his weapon, he would feel faint and lightheaded and he’d keel over. Essentially he would be immobilized for any military purpose until the effects wore off.”

The colonel’s assessment: “A safe drug that knocks people down—what more could you ask for?”

Volunteers for America

With THC isomers on the back burner, the U.S. Army Chemical Corps focused on several other compounds—including LSD, PCP, methylphenidate (Ritalin) and a delirium-inducing ass-kicker known as “BZ” (a belladonna-like substance similar to atropine)—all of which were thought to have significant potential as nonlethal incapacitants.

Ketchum insists that the staff at Edgewood went to great lengths to ensure the safety of the volunteers. (There was one untoward incident involving a civilian volunteer who flipped out on PCP and required hospitalization, but this happened before Ketchum came on board.) During the 1960s, every soldier exposed to incapacitating agents was carefully screened and prepped beforehand, according to Ketchum, and well treated throughout the experiment. They stayed in special rooms with padded walls, while medical professionals monitored their situation 24/7. Antidotes were available if things got out of hand.

“The volunteers performed a patriotic service,” Ketchum says. “None, to my knowledge, returned home with a significant injury or illness attributable to chemical exposure,” though he admits that “a few former volunteers later claimed that the testing had caused them to suffer from some malady.” Such claims, however, are difficult to assess given that so many intervening variables may have contributed to a particular problem.

A follow-up study conducted by the Army Inspector General’s office and a review panel convened by the National Academy of Sciences found little evidence of serious harm resulting from the Edgewood experiments. But a 1975 Army IG report noted that improper inducements may have been used to recruit volunteers and getting their “informed consent” was somewhat dubious given that scientists had a limited understanding of the short- and long-term impact of some of the compounds tested on the soldiers.

Ketchum draws a sharp distinction between clinical research with human subjects under controlled conditions at Edgewood Arsenal and the CIA’s reckless experiments on random, unwitting Americans who were given LSD surreptitiously by spooks and prostitutes. “Jim is very certain of his own integrity,” says Ken Goffman (aka R.U. Sirius). “There is little doubt in his mind that he was doing the right thing. He felt he was working for a noble cause that would reduce civilian and military casualties.” Former editor of the psychedelic tech magazine Mondo 2000, Goffman helped Ketchum edit and polish his book manuscript, which vigorously defends the Edgewood research program.

Strange bedfellows, the colonel and the counterculture scribe. Or so it would appear. But these days, Ketchum and Goffman see eye to eye on many issues. Both feel that the alleged dangers of marijuana and LSD have been way overblown. No doubt, LSD could wreak havoc on the toughest, best-trained troops, derailing their thought processes and disorganizing their behavior.

When used wisely, however, LSD can be uplifting. Ketchum notes that some soldiers had insightful and rewarding experiences on acid, lending credence to reports from civilian psychiatrists that LSD was a useful therapeutic tool. “I had an interest in psychedelic drugs long before my interest in chemical warfare,” Ketchum says. “I was intrigued by the positive aspects of LSD, as well as the incapacitating aspects.”

Mystery Stash

One morning, Ketchum arrived at his office in Edgewood and found “a large, black steel barrel, resembling an oil drum, parked in the corner of the room,” he recounts in his book. Overcome by curiosity, he opened the barrel and examined its contents. There were a dozen tightly sealed glass canisters that looked like cookie jars; the labels on the canisters indicated that each contained about three pounds of “EA 1729,” the Army’s code number for LSD. By the end of the week, the 40 pounds of government acid—enough to intoxicate several hundred million people—vanished as mysteriously as it had appeared. Ketchum still doesn’t know who put the LSD in his office or what became of it.

But this much is certain: some officers at Edgewood were dipping into the Army’s stash for their own personal use. “They took LSD more often than was necessary to appreciate its clinical effects,” Ketchum admits. “They must have liked it.”

The colonel was personally a bit skittish about trying LSD. Eventually, he worked up the courage to experiment on himself. Under the watchful eye of a knowledgeable Edgewood physician, he swallowed a small dose and proceeded to take the same numerical aptitude tests that the regular volunteers were put through to measure their impairment. Constrained by the white-smock laboratory setting, his lone LSD experience was somewhat anticlimactic. “Colors were more vivid and music was more compelling,” Ketchum recalls, “but there were no breakthroughs in consciousness, no Timothy Leary stuff.”

Ketchum also sampled cannabis shortly after he began working for the Chemical Corps. His younger brother turned him on to marijuana, but the first time Ketchum smoked a joint nothing happened. “Later, I read about reverse tolerance. Some people don’t get high on marijuana until they use it a few times,” Ketchum explains.

It wasn’t until he went on a paid, two-year leave of absence from Edgewood that he started smoking pot socially. Ketchum had convinced the Surgeon General of the Army that it would be in everyone’s best interest if he studied neuroscience at Stanford University. How better to keep abreast of the latest advances in the field? In 1966, he joined a team of postdoctoral researchers mentored by Karl Pribram, a world-renowned expert on the brain and behavior.

Ketchum related well with his academic colleagues. “I got together with a few of my friends at Stanford and we had some cheap marijuana, which I smoked, and I got a real effect for the first time,” he says. “I liked it. It was very sensuous. But I didn’t use it very often. I didn’t have any of my own.”

Ketchum’s West Coast hiatus coincided with the emergence of the hippie movement in San Francisco. “I was fascinated with this spectacular development,” he gleams. “Luckily, I caught it at its peak.”

Occasionally, Ketchum took his home movie camera to Haight-Ashbury, the epicenter of hippiedom, and filmed the procession of exotically dressed flower children strutting through the neighborhood high on marijuana and LSD. “I was always interested in drugs, primarily because I’ve always been interested in how the mind works,” he says. “So when this wave of psychedelic users descended upon San Francisco, I thought maybe I’d learn more by going there.”

Ketchum attended the legendary Be-In in Golden Gate Park in January 1967, sitting cross-legged on the lawn with 20,000 pot-smoking enthusiasts, soaking up the rays and listening to rock music, poetry and antiwar speeches. A few months later, the colonel began working as a volunteer doctor at the Haight-Ashbury Free Clinic, where he treated troubled youth with substance-abuse problems.

Life After Edgewood

Ketchum returned to Edgewood in 1968, but the mood back at headquarters was not the same as before. Growing opposition to the Vietnam War and public disapproval of the use of napalm and toxic defoliants cast a lengthening shadow over classified research into chemical weapons. When journalists briefly got wind of the Army’s ambitious psychochemical warfare program, they scoffed at the notion of making the enemy lay down their arms by turning them on.

The colonel saw the writing on the wall. Army brass consented when he asked to be transferred to another base in the early 1970s. By this time, the Chemical Corps had concluded that marijuana-related compounds would not be effective in a battlefield situation, but the testing of other incapacitating agents under field conditions would proceed. And drug companies continued to supply a steady stream of pharmaceutical samples for evaluation by the military.

In 1976, Ketchum retired from the Army and embarked upon a new career as a civilian psychiatrist in California. Commissioned by the California Department of Justice, he collaborated on a 1981 study comparing the effects of alcohol and smoked marijuana on driving performance. The results were somewhat surprising. “When combined with alcohol, cannabis produced little additional impairment,” he concluded.

“While alcohol had an adverse impact on steering, THC affected a driver’s ability to estimate time. But the combination of both drugs did not substantially increase the impairment produced by either one alone. . . . In fact, there was an antagonistic effect. Marijuana seemed to offset some of the problems caused by alcohol, and vice versa.”

Ketchum feels that drug prohibition is bad public policy. “It’s the refusal to look at the evidence that keeps pot illegal. They misrepresented marijuana as an evil weed. . . . I’ve always had a libertarian attitude toward drugs. I believe people should be able to do anything as long as it’s not harmful to somebody else.”

In the years ahead, Ketchum would reach out to medical marijuana trailblazers, prominent psychedelic advocates and drug-policy rebels working inside and outside the system to end prohibition. He joined the National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws and became a member of the Multidisciplinary Association for Psychedelic Studies (MAPS).

Founded by Rick Doblin, MAPS has spearheaded the revival of scientific investigations into the therapeutic potential of LSD, ecstasy, psilocybin and ibogaine, while also challenging bureaucratic roadblocks that prevent independent cannabis research in the United States. Col. Ketchum attended fundraising events and wrote letters to potential donors, praising the work of MAPS.

During the 1960s, Ketchum supervised thousands of drug experiments, yet he barely scratched the surface of the awesome potential of cannabis and LSD. “Jim is not apologetic for what he did before,” Doblin says, “and I don’t think he sees it as incongruous with supporting research into the therapeutic aspect of psychedelics. These tools have tremendous power, but he only looked at a narrow slice of it while he was at Edgewood.”

Today, Ketchum steadfastly maintains that cannabis and LSD are safe drugs compared to many legal substances. This is what the Edgewood experiments and other studies have shown, he contends. Given his status as a retired army officer who had extensive, hands-on experience testing psychoactive compounds, he speaks with a certain authority that most medical and recreational drug users cannot claim.

Medical Marijuana

After Californians broke ranks from America’s drug-war orthodoxy in 1996 and legalized medical marijuana in the Golden State, Ketchum got a recommendation from his family doctor to use cannabis for insomnia. “I have personally found it helpful, especially for sleep,” he says. “I’ve had problems with sleep for a long time.”

It was at a picnic hosted by the Shulgins that Jim and Judy Ketchum first met Tod Mikuriya, the controversial Berkeley-based physician who has been described as “the father of the medical marijuana movement.” One of the prime movers of Proposition 215, the successful med-pot ballot measure, Dr. Mikuriya quickly took a liking to the Ketchums and taught them how to use a vaporizer for inhaling cannabis fumes without tar and smoke.

Like Ketchum, Mikuriya was a maverick psychiatrist who once worked for the U.S. government. In 1967, the National Institute of Mental Health (NIMH) recruited Mikuriya to direct its marijuana-research program. One day, after leaving his position at NIMH, he got a phone call from Dr. Van Sim, a cohort of Ketchum’s at Edgewood Arsenal. A major figure in the Chemical Corps’ secret drug-testing efforts, Sim told Mikuriya of Army studies which indicated that cannabis has valuable therapeutic properties. Sim asserted that marijuana “is probably the most potent anti-epileptic known to medicine.” Unfortunately, much of this data remains classified.

Army scientists also inadvertently rediscovered the powerful antispasmodic effect of cannabis, a medicinal boon subsequently confirmed by many multiple sclerosis and AIDS patients who smoked marijuana and ate ganja-laced cuisine to ease nerve spasms and painful bouts of peripheral neuropathy. “We weren’t looking for benefits,” Ketchum concedes. “When I was at Edgewood, I wasn’t aware of the medicinal history of cannabis.”

With Mikuriya tendering introductions, Ketchum befriended some of the leading lights of the ’60s counterculture, including Tim Scully, the prodigious underground chemist who manufactured millions of hits of black market LSD (remember Orange Sunshine?) while the colonel was administering hallucinogenic drugs to soldiers at Edgewood. “Jim and his wife visited me at my home in Mendocino County,” Scully says. “I enjoyed their company. We found that we shared idealistic beliefs about the potential for good in psychoactive drugs, as well as sharing some wry understanding of the pitfalls, too.”

As for their divergent paths in the past, Scully remarks, “I don’t really see his work as having been in conflict with mine. I believe Jim sincerely hoped to save lives by helping in the development of nonlethal weapons as an alternative to conventional weapons.”

An incurable iconoclast, the colonel has made common cause with counterculture veterans and anti-prohibition activists. His endorsement of the therapeutic use of marijuana and LSD confers additional credibility on views long championed by his newfound allies. Validation, in this case, goes both ways. Embraced as one of the elders, a peculiar elder to be sure, Ketchum somehow fits right in.

“I don’t have a problem with being difficult to categorize,” he says.

Sonoma County writer Martin A. Lee is the author of ‘Acid Dreams: The Complete Social History of the LSD—The CIA, the Sixties, and Beyond.’ He is writing a social history of marijuana.


Headaches on the Hill

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07.02.08


We have been panting, waiting!” says Jeanne DeJoseph, who is renovating and readying her house in San Mateo to put on the market. “We are so ready to move!”

DeJoseph, 64, and her partner, Suzanne Dibble, 61, have been together for 24 years. This September, they will be legally married in the state of California. Both are professor emerita at UCSF, and for the past three years have been at the top of the waiting list for the Fountaingrove Lodge, a unique upscale gay and lesbian retirement community still to be built in Santa Rosa.

Aegis Senior Living, the Santa Rosa&–based development company behind the recently opened upscale Varenna retirement community in Fountaingrove, has built over 32 retirement communities on the West Coast. But they haven’t broke ground yet for the Fountaingrove Lodge. Although over 50 percent of the Lodge’s planned units have been reserved by eager retirees since 2005, the development remains at the center of a long and bitter battle between neighbors, city planners and developers—a battle that keeps DeJoseph and Dibble on hold in San Mateo.

When built, the Lodge will be the only LGBT retirement community of its kind in the country. Its full spectrum amenities and on-site healthcare will be similar to Varenna’s, as will its high price tag (initial buy-in fees for the units top out at $1 million&–plus, with an additional monthly payment of about $3,000). The key difference is that it will be specifically geared toward the gay and lesbian community.

That’s good news for DeJoseph, who met the sad facts of old age when she placed her own mother in a retirement community. “Just sort of in passing, I asked the folks there what it would be like—could we be part of that facility?” she says. “And they said no, that only people who were connected by blood or marriage could live together. That’s still true there today.”

Aegis marketing director Wes Winter says that because of its unique scope, the Lodge concept has taken on life as a de facto core for Sonoma County’s aging LGBT community. “There are organizations regarding different healthcare initiatives like HIV,” he says, “and there are great youth service organizations like Positive Images, but there’s nothing, really, for adults, folks in their middle and senior years.”

Also because of its unique scope, the gay and lesbian factor remains an issue in the project’s planning. “Early on, there were some things that were said that were uncomfortable to hear,” Winter says. “Since that time, the conversation has obviously become more sophisticated. And so it’s sort of hard to weed out what’s based on perhaps a homophobic response and what’s based on something else.”

Aegis partner Bill Mabry cites the disparity between the neighborhood’s response to Varenna, the larger and more widely visible 29-acre Aegis project just up the hill, and its sudden involvement in the Lodge project. For Varenna, Mabry says, “we didn’t have anything from the homeowners association but positive response.” When the smaller, 10-acre Lodge was announced, he says, opposition suddenly arose, even for a temporary model unit to be built near the Lodge site.

“They were concerned about [earthquake] faults running through the site that aren’t there,” Mabry says. “They were concerned that if the dam broke from Fountaingrove Lake that it would wash away the site. Are you getting it?”

Skip Epperly, president of the Fountaingrove Ranch Master Association (FRMA), says that the claims of homophobia are outrageous and untrue. “I can tell you where that came from,” he says. “I got a call from Jennifer Onley about two years ago from Channel 7 in San Francisco. She’s a reporter. And Wes Winter, who’s their marketing rep, called Jennifer and said, ‘Jennifer, these folks in Fountaingrove are a bunch of homophobic people, and they are opposing our project for homophobic reasons.’ At that point, I went ballistic. There must be any number of gay couples that live up here. Several of the residents who are our friends are gay and lesbian friends. Wes Winter is where that came from. It’s no secret.”

Epperly charges that Winter fabricated statements made by neighbors, denies that any name-calling or inflammatory remarks were made at meetings, and says he’s seen no actual homophobia among Fountaingrove residents toward the Lodge at all. “That was a mean-spirited, untrue campaign on Wes’ part to get a toehold—sympathy, I don’t know what,” he says, “and it didn’t work.”

As for not originally opposing Varenna, Epperly says at this point the FRMA only has itself to blame. Varenna’s retaining walls and multistory design are clearly a problem for Epperly. “The prior board of directors for the homeowners association chose not to get involved in the [design] review,” he says. “It was a big mistake. It was a big mistake. A big mistake. Did I say big mistake? Big mistake.”

Much of Aegis’ irritation with the FRMA stems from concerns which prompted the city council, in August 2006, to request an environmental impact report on the Lodge site. (Though Varenna required an EIR, Aegis did not anticipate needing one for the smaller, flatter, less-visible Lodge.) The EIR and its 20-month waiting period have cost Aegis over $1 million, estimates Winter, although Epperly, who had a 29-year career with Contra Costa County Public Works before moving to Fountaingrove in 2004, claims that’s a normal figure. (“Look at the scope of the project. Look at the value of this project. What is it, a $37 million&–plus project? And what’s an environmental review cost? It’s a speck!”)

Earlier this month, the long-awaited EIR came back for review, and even Epperly admits that it fits within the land-use criteria the city had. However, he points to the design review as another step entirely. Epperly is unsure at this point what the FRMA’s comments will be at the upcoming July 24 planning meeting, nor can he specify any of the association’s potential concerns before the design review board. “We haven’t formulated them into ink yet,” he says.

“We’re certainly concerned that the city looks at the Lodge project with a little more consideration of how this community feels it’s a fit,” Epperly says. “We’re looking for a balance. We’re looking for something that fits.”

Epperly does not state which other types of residences he would rather see built on the Lodge site. He further denies speculation that the FRMA wants the Lodge to be built smaller or that it should be set back farther from the road or that the site should remain undeveloped.

One thing Epperly remains firm about, however, is refuting accusations that Fountaingrove residents are in any way homophobic. “It’s an untruism, and it’s an insult,” he says. “It’s an insult to our intelligence, and I would say that the people up here are an intelligent group of people. And when we got blindsided by Wes Winter’s gay/lesbian tactic, we were shocked. And then we were mad. I’m not happy with Wes.”

For his part, Winter asserts that ABC News initially contacted him about alleged homophobic response to the Lodge, and that he never fabricated any statements. “That’s simply not true,” he says. “We had heard actual comments that were made by Fountaingrove homeowners that we were trying to turn it into the ‘Swish Alps’—just silly statements that were definitely homophobic remarks.

“Ultimately, when they didn’t fight Varenna—when there was no problem with Varenna—why are they fighting the Lodge now? The Lodge has less impact, it’s smaller, it’s less visible to the community. What’s the real difference between Varenna and the Lodge?” Winter asks rhetorically. “The only one that we can come up with—and this is not just me, this is the company—is the nature of who the residents are.”

In the middle of all this is the city. “In the beginning of the project,” says Santa Rosa acting mayor John Sawyer,  who is himself openly gay, “when it was first known by the public that this was going to be a retirement community marketed to the gay community, there were some of what I would characterize as unfortunate remarks. But in my opinion, it was a very small minority who voiced those concerns.”

 

Sawyer says that among the city council, he has seen “nothing but support” for the Lodge, but adds that waiting is simply part of the process.

“With most municipalities in California,” he says, “at least in areas where the property values are high, these projects take a lot of time.”


Ice Sage

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07.02.08

After a career full of odd films, Werner Herzog made one of his oddest with The Wild Blue Yonder (2005), in which Brad Dourif plays an alien who speaks directly to the camera. Surrounding Dourif’s bizarre monologues/rants about aliens and humans, Herzog alternated between footage of astronauts aboard a NASA shuttle and footage shot beneath the Antarctic ice shelf; the latter was meant to represent the alien’s home planet.

The film, as tedious as it was daring, was barely released. On the upside, it inspired Herzog to make a new documentary, Encounters at the End of the World, another triumph in a string of astounding, highly personal nonfiction works that includes Grizzly Manand The White Diamond. The underwater world of unbelievable creatures, shapes and displays of light apparently continued to fascinate Herzog well after the completion of The Wild Blue Yonder, and so he journeyed to the earth’s southernmost point to learn more.

At the start of Encounters, Herzog arrives at Antarctica’s McMurdo Station, the headquarters of the National Science Foundation, where some 1,100 people live on top of the massive, groaning ice chunks. He interviews some locals, described as “full-time travelers and part-time workers.” But Herzog is as disappointed as he is enchanted, and he allows these conflicting emotions to comfortably mix throughout the film.

Herzog describes McMurdo as an “ugly mining town,” filled with tractors and black, muddy tire tracks. He’s even more repulsed by the idea of a remote yoga studio (he calls it an “abomination”). He devotes some time to the legendary Antarctic explorer Ernest Shackleton, whose adventures in that pristine land make our modern-day nomads look lazy.

Nevertheless, Herzog dutifully interviews several scientists to get details about things like shifting ice, neutrinos and volcanoes. But he also follows his instincts and lets his curiosity lead him to the next sequence. Other times, he becomes enthralled by minor, almost incidental characters, such as a plumber (David R. Pacheco Jr.) who shows proof of his royal Aztec/Incan lineage with his odd-shaped fingers (his first and fourth fingers and second and third fingers are exactly the same length).

When talking to an antisocial penguin scientist, Herzog’s interview stalls, and so he begins asking increasingly absurd questions (“Are there gay penguins?”). He eventually becomes more fascinated by a single penguin that strays off from its course and begins wandering alone toward the mountains—and toward an almost certain death. Herzog adds some poetic narration, wondering about the penguin’s lonely, perhaps pointless journey.

Encounters at the End of the World does contain a few facts about Antarctica, and most viewers will walk away smarter than they were before, but it’s also a kind of rambling, exploratory mess, alternately curious and fastidious. That’s why our lonely penguin gets more love than all the scientists and all their facts: the film is really more about Herzog than Antarctica. Far too many PBS-style documentaries claim to be journalistically accurate on subjects like this, and so when Herzog blatantly scraps objectivity, it comes across as refreshing as an icy breeze.

‘Encounters at the End of the World’ screens at the Smith Rafael Film Center, 1118 Fourth St., San Rafael. 415.454.1222.


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News Blast

0

07.02.08

old yerp

Mark Schapiro is the editorial director at the Center for Investigative Reporting. His work has appeared in Mother Jones and the New York Times Magazine, and he is a regular guest on NPR. His new book is Exposed: The Toxic Chemistry of Everyday Products and What’s at Stake for American Power.

Bohemian: The European Union is doing something about the connection between disease and chemical exposure. Tell us about that.

Mark Schapiro: Increasing amounts of evidence suggest that many of the chemicals we encounter in our daily lives are responsible for a whole array of health problems. The Centers for Disease Control went out and tested Americans. What they found out is that all of us are walking around with 148 chemicals in our bloodstream right now. These are chemicals that we never asked to have in our bodies, but they’re there. We’re all walking around in this soup of chemicals.

The EU took a look and, starting in 2005, banned all carcinogens, mutagens and reproductive toxins from use in cosmetics and hair dye. In Europe, companies are finding alternatives to these substances. It’s not like European women are running around not using cosmetics. Industry is coming up with alternatives left and right because there’s a resurgence of research into green chemistry because of these initiatives.

The EU’s regulations have been in effect for a while now—are companies going broke complying with them?

I investigated what happened when the companies began removing these substances, to find out the economic impact. Number one, they all went out and found alternatives. Two, the economic cataclysm that had been predicted both by European industry and American industry never happened. The loss of jobs never happened. You have European industries now producing products that have undergone a toxic screen, and you’ve got American products that haven’t undergone a toxic screen. Many of our industries are now losing ground to European industry.

When it comes to electronics, there’s a label on the back of them. If it has a “CE” on it, that means it’s been approved by the EU’s regulatory process. The sad fact is that if you’re going to buy cosmetics, other than the small-brand natural cosmetics, you’re going to be a lot safer buying European ones.

Of course you can make individual decisions, but there’s no substitute for holding politicians’ feet to the fire when it comes to demanding laws that require the removal of these kinds of substances, because in the end that’s what’s going to force industry to make these changes.


Dogs and Monkeys

07.02.08


At the first American show in November 1938 at the Julien Levy Gallery in New York City, critics noted the “primitive but meticulous technique” of a new artist. Timeobserved, “Little Frida’s pictures” have the “playfully bloody fancy of an unsentimental child.” B-list Algonquinist Frank Crowninshield later described her as “the most recent of Diego Rivera’s ex-wives . . . apparently obsessive with an interest in blood”—”As if they didn’t have blood in their own veins,” to quote Pauline Kael’s remark about critics’ blinkered reaction to Mexicanophile director Sam Peckinpah.

Now Frida Kahlo is honored in a centenary show of 42 paintings at SFMOMA. It’s a knockout. Seeing “Frida Kahlo” is like visiting the Musée Picasso in Paris and getting the full force of that one particular talent. The difference is that Picasso’s force was spread over many media and artistic stages. Kahlo’s force is more tightly focused. Her study is the study of herself—that sensual hirsute face, the joined brows like the silhouette of a blackbird in flight, her face slightly turned or more often full, shining in its sense and sensuality as well as its suffering and isolation.

The show is co-curated by Hayden Herrera, whose book Frida: A Biography of Frida Kahlo is still essential reading. Organized at the Walker Art Center in Minneapolis, the exhibit is augmented with an exhibit on Frida and Diego’s relatively calm times in San Francisco. Key to this show is one of the treasures of SFMOMA, the 1931 painting of the then-cozy couple. “An elephant and a dove,” moaned her parents.

Mostly what we see are small autoretrato—self-portraits, small panels, usually oil on Masonite or copper, sometimes tin or aluminum. The works have a Medieval flatness that recalls Henri Rousseau. They get richer and more intimate as Kahlo grew in confidence. Being a patient for most of her life led Kahlo into anatomical interest. The largest painting on view, 1939’s famous Two Fridas, shows two dissected secular hearts, rather than sacred ones. Underneath her own romanticism, Frida must have realized that love is physiology.

In another retablo, Frida records her sufferings at the Henry Ford Hospital in the blistering-hot Depression summer of 1932. The division between the sick and the well appears at its most drastic in 1945’s Without Hope, where Frida is paralyzed, crammed full of rotten meat with a funnel. Her dessert will be a Oaxaca-style sugar skull, with her name on its forehead.

Some question whether to place the importance of Kahlo as a world or a Mexican artist. Seeing the power of this show, I prefer the former. However, in Mexico, they make real saints out of secular figures. Jesús Malverde, a bandit hung in 1909, is still prayed to by the smugglers of today. Some travelers ask a regional saint called Juan Soldado for safe transit across the border. Frida will be getting her own prayers before long. If some blasphemer painted a mustache and a unibrow on the Virgin of Guadalupe, who wouldn’t understand?

  ‘Frida Kahlo’ runs through Sept. 28 at the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art; see www.sfmoma.org or call 415.357.4000 for details.


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Satansville Revisited

0

07.02.08

Last month, the New Yorker magazine had a little write-up of an upcoming Swervedriver show in its “Night Life” listings. As a Swervedriver fan, I paid special attention to the brief mention, especially its last sentence: “Swervedriver lasted from 1989 to 1999, but it has since re-formed for a second stab at stardom.”

The word choice of that last phrase bugged me. Swervedriver’s following is small but devoted, and their importance in the general scheme of popular music is fairly minute—their first stab at stardom was marked with record label setbacks and the eclipsing glare of grunge. But it seems dubious that the motivating factor for the band’s reunion is fame; though currently touring internationally, Swervedriver have no new album to support, and the band members, fairly unassuming guys at the starting end of middle age, are not the type to seek the spotlight.

By the time the New Yorker‘s Swervedriver preview appeared, I’d already seen the band when their tour passed through my neck of the woods. Mr. Bir Toujour had been eagerly awaiting the show, and even though we’d already purchased our tickets, he kept on asking, “You still want to go, right?”

Yes, but wanting had nothing to do with it. This was Swervedriver, who I’d never managed to see live, and not going was inconceivable, just as we were duty-bound by our place and time in pop culture to see the new Indiana Jones movie, no matter how disappointing it might be.

My main reference point of what to expect from the show was Mr. Bir Toujour’s description of his experiences seeing Swervedriver through the 1990s. At one show in San Francisco, the band didn’t emerge onstage until nearly one in the morning, they wore sunglasses and they played all kinds of loud.

Such behavior should be met with approval, I suppose, but part of me was dreading the prospect of hating Swervedriver for making me stand around for hours while they fiddled with their sunglasses backstage. The last half-dozen shows I’d been to were all marked with narcoleptic episodes of napping, occasionally while standing up, and if I fell asleep seeing one of my favorite bands, what kind of music fan would that make me?

On the big night, I wore slacks and clogs to the club. There was a time when it was of vital importance to me to dress the part of a rock ‘n’ roll concertgoer; picking out an appropriate outfit was part of the fun. I probably would have worn motorcycle boots, black jeans and a T-shirt, but my boots were in bad need of re-heeling, and all of my once-favorite jeans are worn to shreds, not replaced because current fashion has made it impossible to find replacement pairs that do not make me look like an anorexic 19-year-old boy in art school.

It was already about 10pm when we got to the club. The place was only a third full, if that, and just as I steeled myself for prolonged waiting, Swervedriver took the stage and began playing “Sandblasted.”

Everybody paid attention, and most of us cheered, but I wondered where the energy was. The band played fine, tight—uptight, maybe. It was like a sightseeing tour of Swervedriver’s best-loved songs. I felt stiff, detached and inhibited. Why weren’t there more people at the show? And why weren’t those of us there going absolutely bat-shit?

But eventually the band loosened up, as did the crowd, and I was happy to be there, even if they didn’t completely blow my mind. Swervedriver left the stage well before midnight, and I wondered if any of them perhaps had kids back in England that they couldn’t wait to call.

This was not a stab at stardom, but a celebration of how music can—or did—make us feel. Not even slacks or clogs can totally keep it away.


Ticketmaster Finally Starts To Die

0

It might not make up for the hundreds of dollars grudgingly given them in exorbitant service charges over the years, but it nonetheless brings a huge smile to my face that Ticketmaster has recently been dumped by its parent company, LAC/InterActiveCorp.
Probably the most surprising fact of the split is that Ticketmaster is currently $750 million in debt.
So, just to get this straight: after charging service fees; after charging facility fees and convenience fees; after charging handling fees; after charging delivery fees—and perhaps most insanely of all, after actually charging a fee to print out your own tickets, on your own printer, at your own home—Ticketmaster is still $750 million in the hole?
I don’t normally say things like this, but man, God bless the Internet and its equalized playing field for finally bringing down those fucking bastards.

Hook, Line and Sinker

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06.25.08


Friends of wild Chinook salmon eat wild Chinook salmon–and they never, under any circumstances, eat farmed salmon, the archenemy of the wild fish.

That’s the gospel, anyway, of Kenny Belov, co-owner and manager of Sausalito’s Fish, one of the most staunchly sustainable-seafood restaurants in the Bay Area. To promote awareness of wild salmon’s current plight and of the ways in which aquaculture threatens wild salmon populations, Belov and five other restaurants on the West Coast–including Flea Street Cafe in Menlo Park, the Basin in Saratoga, Passionfish in Monterey, Baja Taqueria in Piedmont and Mina in San Francisco–have made a pact: Each has agreed to never serve farmed salmon again.

But plenty of other restaurants still offer the farmed product, and Belov, a part-time commercial fisherman, worries that consumers, now faced with the absence of affordable wild salmon, will increasingly buy and eat the farmed alternative to sate their appetites. Powerful evidence links salmon farming to the decline of wild runs in Ireland, Scotland and Norway. In British Columbia, too, where all five species of Pacific salmon are still relatively healthy, some runs have declined dramatically following the establishment of salmon farms, and there is concern that many Canadian runs will vanish within a decade.

Farmed salmon are raised in often putrid conditions, packed like sardines into open-ocean pens where sea lice, a perfectly natural parasite, thrive in unnaturally high numbers. Wild salmon that pass near the pens are extremely vulnerable to infestation, especially inch-long juvenile pink and chum salmon, which exit river mouths to begin their ocean lives almost immediately after hatching, when they weigh less than a gram. Such small fish are regularly observed dead or dying near farming facilities, covered with the mites.

Trevor Swerdfager, aquaculture manager with the Canadian Department of Fisheries and Oceans, denies a direct cause-and-effect relationship between salmon farms and vanishing wild runs. Bias against salmon farming is based on “urban myths,” he says, and sea lice are a natural phenomenon in the ocean, not a problem associated with ocean farming. Besides, says Swerdfager, salmon farms are only established after full review and consideration of where wild salmon swim.

Nonsense, says Catherine Stewart, campaign manager with the Living Oceans Society in B.C. While laws do keep salmon farms away from river mouths, the facilities frequently operate in the direct paths of migrating salmon.

“There are masses of overwhelming evidence from scientists all over the global community that farms produce lice that kill wild salmon,” Stewart charges. “There are one or two guys paid by the industry to say it’s not true.”

Cory Peet of the Monterey Bay Aquarium’s Seafood Watch Program, which prints those color-coded cards that advise consumers on seafood purchases, says the correlation between farmed salmon and wild salmon declines is obvious, though he admits that proving anything that occurs under the surface is difficult, if not impossible.

“One of the things the [aquaculture] industry depends on is saying that the science must prove there’s a risk from the sea lice,” Peet says. “That’s not possible. There’s no way to watch as a sea lice moves from a farmed fish and attaches to a wild smolt.”

But sea lice can only reproduce while clinging to salmon. The copepods may periodically take rides on lingcod and other bottom fish, but high densities of lice can only mean the animals are thriving on a nearby salmon hotbed.

The Canadian government, known to be sympathetic toward the salmon farming industry, takes its own science from select sources. It keeps close watch over six “indicator” rivers to ascertain that farms are not harming wild runs. One such river, the Glendale, features an artificial hatchery, and the highly boosted runs recorded year after year on this watershed are merged with less optimistic data, ultimately producing numbers that suggest there is no problem. Thus, industry life goes on as profitably as ever, and a whopping 85 percent of farmed Canadian salmon drops like candy from a piñata into the mouths of Americans.

“Change has to come from consumers,” Stewart says.

In California, salmon farming is currently illegal, but Mike Hudson, an on-hiatus salmon fisherman from Berkeley, believes that should consumption of farmed salmon skyrocket now that the wild is unavailable, it could be lights out and nails in the coffin for the already struggling Sacramento Chinook. Even if farming does not come to California, Hudson explains, the availability of farmed fish would preclude any need to protect the streams where our own salmon still spawn.

Hope for wild salmon everywhere lies largely with the chefs who feed us, says Fish’s Belov. “Chefs have a responsibility. When a customer comes in and asks, ‘Where’s my salmon?’ it’s the chef’s job to explain why there is no salmon now, but that there are alternatives.”

That’s what Belov does. At Fish, he offers local line-caught halibut, black cod, rockfish and albacore, some of which he catches himself and offloads directly at the rear of the restaurant.

Casson Trenor, development director of Fishwise, a nonprofit seafood-sustainability consultancy, says that the restaurant industry is driving many species into dire straits–even toward extinction. Trenor personally consults for Tataki Sushi and Sake Bar in San Francisco, a rare example of a 100 percent environmentally ethical sushi restaurant. “At Tataki, we’re interested in showing people new things and putting new items on the menu,” he says.

Tataki serves no bluefin, no hamachi and no farmed salmon–big profit makers for most sushi bars. But many chefs and restaurateurs are not so conscientious, says Trenor. They serve obvious no-no’s simply to compete with other restaurants.

“Some chefs and retailers are holding people back. They tell people that this or that farmed salmon is a sustainable one, and people believe it and buy it.”

Loch Duart, a farm in Scotland, receives much praise as a “sustainable” operation, and numerous restaurants nationwide embrace and endorse its product, including the Bay Area’s Chez Panisse, French Laundry and Poggio. The farm’s advocates point out that Loch Duart has taken important steps forward. It has minimized petrochemicals in pellet feed, reduced stock density and is rearing sea urchins onsite to absorb waste matter from the fish.

Yet Seafood Watch’s Peet believes Loch Duart is still not a responsible alternative to wild fish. “We have no data to bring their production off our red list,” he says. “They may be a different shade of red, but they’re still red.”

The current Sacramento Delta salmon crisis has nothing directly to do with aquaculture. It is almost certainly due to poor freshwater management. Hudson points to an abrupt increase in water diversions from the delta that began three years ago as the cause of the Chinook crash. That, says Hudson, tipped the ecosystem over the brink.

But recovery could come just as quickly.

“It could be so easy to bring back and maintain these runs, because salmon need just two things: abundant free-flowing water and gravel,” says Laura Anderson, owner of Newport’s Local Ocean Seafoods, another restaurant that has taken the no-farmed-salmon pledge.

In the meantime, says Belov, people must not view the salmon season closure as a solution.

“Stopping the fishing is the easiest fix for the public to see that something is being done, but what the salmon need to return is fresh water.”

Fortunately, salmon are extremely fast-growing and resilient, as fish go, and history shows that simple restoration of habitat in the rivers and streams where they spawn could bring the fish back within several years. In 1994, the winter run of Chinook salmon hit a heart-stopping low of 186 individual fish. Authorities took action and cleaned up the spawning habitat, poisoned at the time by a leaking mine, and within several years the run exploded to 8,000 fish.

Belov hopes to recruit dozens more restaurants in the next year to take the farmed salmon pledge and bring awareness to diners, but recruitment has been slow. “I believe most chefs are not doing what they could,” he says. “They’re more concerned with their appearances and what their reviews are.”

Belov’s aim as a restaurateur is to provide an honest, fresh meal from an honest source. Aesthetic pleasantries and service conventions come last.

“There’s no service here. I’m sorry. You have to grab your own silverware and you get a picnic table. If you don’t like that, sorry, but I’d rather spend my money on the fishermen than on my linens.”

But how will salmon fishermen survive without the Chinook? Many are dabbling already in other fisheries, but prospects are grim for making a living beyond the barrel-bodied, silver-skinned fish that they know so well.

“There are other fish, like halibut or black cod, but we’re not good at catching those,” Hudson says. “Whatever fishery you might be in, it takes a long time to get good at it. We’re salmon fishermen. Everyone tells us, ‘Hey, just go put on some different hooks and catch some other fish.'”

But even if Hudson and the fleet did bring in healthy hauls of the finest, most sustainable products our waters still have to offer, what difference would it make if the fish we buy comes from a farm?

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Letters to the Editor

06.25.08

From our constant reader

A cool and refreshing opinion piece from P. Joseph Potocki (“Playing the Hand Dealt,” Open Mic, June 11). Democrats, play the hand you’ve been dealt! Obama wasn’t my first choice, either. John Edwards seemed the better change agent (and a Southerner, to boot). But it won’t be the first time I’ve resolved to be hopeful about a politician who gave me doubts. As Potocki implies, look at the alternative. The country, the world, doesn’t have the leisure to sulk for another four years.

Another kind of cold came over me from Amanda Yskamp’s article on home-schooling (“Class Struggle,” June 11). What if all mothers followed Dawn Martin and maintained that they’d teach their children as God decreed? The answer to inadequate public schools is not pulling kids out of them but getting parents involved in them.

Don Mcqueen

Santa Rosa

Equal opp offense

Let’s face it, Santa Rosa is an urban planning disaster. Given this grim state of affairs, I offer a few modest urban planning proposals for Santa Rosa:

  • Pick up the Santa Rosa Plaza and drop it on its pathetic, dying brother in Coddingtown.

  • Raze the current section of Highway 101 that goes through Santa Rosa. Reroute 101 so that it goes through the western edge of the city instead (via South Wright/Fulton Road). Make this route 20 lanes wide. Try to minimize the impact on Roseland, as we don’t want to displace too many people who do actual work.

    The first two steps will open up a lot of space in the middle of town. But what do we put in all this newly opened space? Two suggestions:

  • Move the Railroad Square section of downtown to where the dumbass mall used to be. Sell the Wells Fargo Center for the Performing Arts to some evangelical nut case and build a new center right next to the newly unified downtown. Go out on a limb and give the new center one of those corny, rustic names, like the “Luther Burbank Center.”

  • Move SSU and all its student housing to where Highway 101 used to be.

    Finally, build the SMART train line, but after the downtown Petaluma station, have it go down the east side of the Petaluma River and end with a passenger ferry terminal at the Port Sonoma Marina.

    Yes, I know. My proposals are absurd. Not quite as absurd as the current situation, but absurd nonetheless. And, yes, my proposals would be quite expensive, but they would not cost as much as you might think. After all, any Marin County resident who boarded a SMART train could be charged 100 times the normal fare.

    Anonymous

    Santa Rosa

    Won’t even sign his or her name!

    Counseling counselors

    Being a Christian in the diversity of a postmodern world can sometimes feel like goosestepping naked through cold streets–a bit humiliating. But what the hey, I’m new to this thing and really didn’t become a Christian caring what anybody thought of me personally. However, I do care about my church and everything the sweet love of Jesus represents. So let me apologize for redemptive torture, vacuous televangelists, bombed abortion clinics and, yes, pedophilic priests.

    Reading Tom Mariani’s “Spiritual Stains” (Open Mic, June 4), and giving silent kudos to Martin Luther and the printing press, I felt a welling, undeniable empathy. Where does a respected spiritual leader go when he feels the inklings of the impure? In light of the reverence that some still hold for their religious counsel, does a priest dare prostrate himself and confess his faults to those who may lose faith? I would sincerely hope so. This is the tragic demise of Father Rogers and many before him, inside as well as outside the ornate veil of the Catholic juggernaut. Counselors need counseling, too.

    Trevor Moore

    Santa Rosa

    Dept. of Corrections

    The Buckshot Boys would like you to know that there are other members to their band than just drummer Skyler Coleman (“Youngabilly,” Critic’s Choice, June 18), who evidently received more than his fair share of attention in our recent small salute to the band. Please meet songwriter/vocalist/rhythm guitarist Cassidy Crowley, bassist Evan Saunders and guitarist Brett Beaudry. For correct dates on their upcoming gigs (you know who you are, evil fairies!), go to www.myspace.com/buckshotboys. And please, don’t pay too much attention to Skyler.

    The Ed.

    missing the beat


  • &–&–>

    Heavy Baggage

    0

    06.25.08

    Lately I’ve been doing this thing called “Apocalypse Watch.” When I hear something disturbing, like scientist James Lovelock telling Rolling Stone magazine that global warming will have culled the world population from 6.6 billion to 500 million by 2100, or that Miley Cyrus thinks having her picture snapped by Annie Leibovitz is a reputation-destroying snafu, I make a little note of it.

    Last week, I added rent-a-purses to my list.

    If you’ve seen the new Sex and the City movie, you might recall a subplot involving Carrie Bradshaw’s assistant (Jennifer Hudson) renting a very ugly designer handbag on a weekly basis from a company called Bag Borrow or Steal (BBOS). Sadly, this is a real business, and, due to the unfounded popularity of what is considered a drab reincarnation of a much better television show, it’s booming.

    At www.bagborroworsteal.com you can “join in the fun” of borrowing designer bags and accessories for a weekly fee. It’s $15 and up to rent Coach and $150 and up to rent vintage, and you can choose from every hoity-toity designer on the market. Gucci! Prada! Fendi! And–oh, who cares.

    It’s not that bags are inherently evil or that I object to impoverished fashionistas who just want to be able to carry around the same black Prada fringe-bag (only $85 a week for BBOS members!) that Mary Kate Olsen, member of my Apocalypse Watch since 2006, carried one Tuesday when she went out shopping for another purse. (If Mary Kate is your celebrity of choice, no one can help you.) But in the immortal words of Gossip Girl: WTF?

    A quick sampling of the Net reveals I’m not the only one scratching my head over this Netflix-for-purses marketing plan. On Tech Beat, Sarah Lacy writes, “BBOS claims their service is like borrowing from your girlfriends. One important distinction–your friends don’t charge you a $100 lending fee plus shipping.” Elsewhere, bloggers seem put off by the concept of renting a used designer bag for the same price it would cost to buy a convincing knockoff. And on the Bag Blog, a number of customers claim to have been scammed by BBOS, which, despite some apparent complimentary trial offers, seems slap-happy about getting your credit card number anyway and laying down the regular $20 membership fee whether or not you tell them no.

    More disturbing to me, however, is the cultural obsession with handbags that has enabled companies like BBOS to spring up in the first place. Unlike shoes, the former fashion fetish of choice, handbags have always struck me as too utilitarian to convey any sort of fashion mystique. They’re for holding money and makeup, and are often coated with the bacteria of the same. They inevitably bulge with the receipts of things purchased, the wrappers of straws used and peppermints consumed. You carry tampons in your purse. You’re constantly, awkwardly fishing in their bulging, chaotic depths for that hideously vibrating cell phone or the MapQuest directions you negligently stuffed inside before you sped off on a trip to your girlfriend’s house. The most capitalistic of all fashion commodities, purses are things you put other things in. And so they remain the most unappealing commodity of all: visual proof of our cluttered, consumer society.

    According to Freud, purses are also supposed to be some sort of vaginal substitute. While there’s no doubt Freud could have found the sexual connotations in dry wall, the idea of the purse-as-vagina is interesting to contemplate, particularly when we consider how many vacant sex goddesses seem to be pushing the purse upon impressionable members of the cult of celebrity. (From here on in, words like “pushing” and “member” will inevitably be fraught with hilarious duality–just try to work through it.)

    Skanktards like Mary Kate Olsen and Victoria Beckham (what the hell do these women do again?), blonde people like Sienna Miller and Hayden Panettiere–these are the honeys with the most bags. Pink bags. Red bags. Fringed bags. Scaly bags. Glance at a fashion magazine and you’ll see that a big trend is the rounded satchel look, multiple orifices–I mean pockets–optional. That’s bags within bags, sistah!

    If men compensate for small penises by buying huge cars, what does it say when women adorn themselves with an endless succession of gaping, multipocketed handbags? Is this some sort of female pissing contest? Or a girls vs. guys standoff? Women in Hollywood still make less than their male counterparts and the pay discrepency between the salaries of regular men and women still stands between 7 and 20 percent, depending on who does the math.

    More amusingly, recent health studies have linked purses to the spread of disease. A study by the University of Arizona found that purses–so often set on the floors of public restrooms, movie theaters and restaurants–carry 100 times more bacteria than your average toilet seat. Everything from E. coli to hepatitis can lurk on the bottom of your rented Botkier, which seems somehow appropriate if you’re Amy Winehouse (pictured with her Botkier bag on BBOS), but also extremely gross when you consider how many women plunk their purses down on tabletops and counters where food is eaten or prepared.

    Giant bags weighing seven to 10 pounds also get a bad rap. Medical News Today reports that giant handbags slung over the same shoulder over and over again can strain your neck and back. If poor Amy has as much physical baggage as mental, she probably knows this already.

    As much as I despise the likes of Paris Hilton and Jessica Simpson, I wouldn’t wish E. coli on anyone. It is interesting to note, however, that these useless icons have perpetuated a craze that is literally as skanky as they are. Not only do their vaginal substitutes have their own faux STDs (thus reflecting what often happens to serial daters like Paris), the exorbitant amounts of money they’ve shelled out in order to possess the week’s hottest bag reflects their own place in popular culture–that of mindless eye candy. In the end, they’re just expensive, walking vaginas, garnering a brief, feverish affection before their 15 minutes get taken over by a Haylie, Nicky or Jamie Lynn.

    Of course, the very presence of the little-sister brigade means that cult-of-celebrity members will be able to go on emulating their favorite fashion plate for a great while yet. And that’s what really bites about the purse thing. Are we so enamored of wealth that we must imitate its every gesture?

    The Duff, Hilton and Spears sisters are all rather pretty, it’s true, but would we really be imitating them if they didn’t net $700,000 a month (Britney’s salary) or possess the power to buy a $1,400 Louis Vuitton wallet at the drop of a hat? Stripped of her awesome earning power, Paris Hilton is the airhead everyone despised in high school, Hillary Duff is just another unimaginative pop star and Jamie Lynn Spears is the sad, pathetic result of bad parenting. It is wealth alone that makes these women notable, a fact conveniently symbolized by their purse fetish.

    More than anything else, the purse represents money and prestige. The existence of companies like BBOS betrays the fact that such commodities are become increasingly more difficult for ordinary people to obtain.

    And yet, in the name of underweight, cosmetically enhanced fantasy figures, the trend persists, dreams of power and wealth somehow embodied by a microbe-resplendent receptacle for germs and credit card reciepts that will, by the time the consumer begs, borrows or steals it, already be obsolete in the almighty eyes of pop culture.

    There’s only one thing to say about that.

    Ladies, you’ve got baggage.


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    Reviews and previews of new dance performances and events.

    The Counterculture Colonel

    07.02.08It was billed as a panel discussion on "the global shift in human consciousness." A half-dozen speakers had assembled inside the Heebie Jeebie Healers tent at Burning Man, the annual post-hippie celebration in Black Rock, Nev., where 50,000 stalwarts braved intense dust storms and flash floods last August. Among the notables who spoke at the early evening forum was...

    Headaches on the Hill

    07.02.08We have been panting, waiting!" says Jeanne DeJoseph, who is renovating and readying her house in San Mateo to put on the market. "We are so ready to move!"DeJoseph, 64, and her partner, Suzanne Dibble, 61, have been together for 24 years. This September, they will be legally married in the state of California. Both are professor emerita at...

    Ice Sage

    07.02.08After a career full of odd films, Werner Herzog made one of his oddest with The Wild Blue Yonder (2005), in which Brad Dourif plays an alien who speaks directly to the camera. Surrounding Dourif's bizarre monologues/rants about aliens and humans, Herzog alternated between footage of astronauts aboard a NASA shuttle and footage shot beneath the Antarctic ice...

    News Blast

    07.02.08 old yerpMark Schapiro is the editorial director at the Center for Investigative Reporting. His work has appeared in Mother Jones and the New York Times Magazine, and he is a regular guest on NPR. His new book is Exposed: The Toxic Chemistry of Everyday Products and What's at Stake for American Power. Bohemian: The European Union is doing something...

    Dogs and Monkeys

    07.02.08At the first American show in November 1938 at the Julien Levy Gallery in New York City, critics noted the "primitive but meticulous technique" of a new artist. Timeobserved, "Little Frida's pictures" have the "playfully bloody fancy of an unsentimental child." B-list Algonquinist Frank Crowninshield later described her as "the most recent of Diego Rivera's ex-wives . . ....

    Satansville Revisited

    07.02.08Last month, the New Yorker magazine had a little write-up of an upcoming Swervedriver show in its "Night Life" listings. As a Swervedriver fan, I paid special attention to the brief mention, especially its last sentence: "Swervedriver lasted from 1989 to 1999, but it has since re-formed for a second stab at stardom."The word choice of that last phrase...

    Ticketmaster Finally Starts To Die

    It might not make up for the hundreds of dollars grudgingly given them in exorbitant service charges over the years, but it nonetheless brings a huge smile to my face that Ticketmaster has recently been dumped by its parent company, LAC/InterActiveCorp. Probably the most surprising fact of the split is that Ticketmaster is currently $750 million in debt. So, just to...

    Hook, Line and Sinker

    06.25.08Friends of wild Chinook salmon eat wild Chinook salmon--and they never, under any circumstances, eat farmed salmon, the archenemy of the wild fish. That's the gospel, anyway, of Kenny Belov, co-owner and manager of Sausalito's Fish, one of the most staunchly sustainable-seafood restaurants in the Bay Area. To promote awareness of wild salmon's current plight and of the ways...

    Letters to the Editor

    06.25.08From our constant readerA cool and refreshing opinion piece from P. Joseph Potocki ("Playing the Hand Dealt," Open Mic, June 11). Democrats, play the hand you've been dealt! Obama wasn't my first choice, either. John Edwards seemed the better change agent (and a Southerner, to boot). But it won't be the first time I've resolved to be hopeful about...

    Heavy Baggage

    06.25.08Lately I've been doing this thing called "Apocalypse Watch." When I hear something disturbing, like scientist James Lovelock telling Rolling Stone magazine that global warming will have culled the world population from 6.6 billion to 500 million by 2100, or that Miley Cyrus thinks having her picture snapped by Annie Leibovitz is a reputation-destroying snafu, I make a little...
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