Ellen DeGeneres

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Identity crisis: When Ellen DeGeneres first revealed she was a lesbian, the public couldn’t get enough. But now that interest in her sexuality has waned, can her career as a comedian survive her status as a gay icon?

No Exit

Did Ellen DeGeneres come out of the closet just to land in the celebrity activist box?

By Jeremy Harrell

A FEW WEEKS AGO I came across two pictures in the New York Times’ coverage of the gay rights march in Washington, D.C. One photo showed an aerial view of the National Mall, packed from monument to monument with marchers. The other was a two-column shot of Ellen DeGeneres, with the indispensable Anne Heche draping an arm around her.

These two pictures just about sum up America’s relationship to Ellen, who’ll perform her stand-up routine in a sold-out show on June 25 at the Luther Burbank Center, hard on the heels of the lesbian comic Kate Clinton’s recent sold-out performance at the same venue.

The Times editor who chose to run the photo was probably searching for a celebrity to pluck from the crowd, in the same way the paper ran a picture of Gloria Estefan locked in protest with Andy Garcia outside Lazaro Gonzalez’s house. These celebrities, whom we think we know so well through A&E biographies and Barbara Walters interviews, are fed to us so we can make sense of potentially confusing events like gay rights marches and international custody battles.

So Ellen found herself portrayed in the New York Times as the emblem of lesbianism in America, which should come as no surprise. She is, after all, the Lesbian Celebrity, just as Charlton Heston is the Concealed Handgun Celebrity.

Before she ever came out on television, most rational people had probably guessed that Ellen was gay. But she didn’t reveal anything until she told the cast and crew of her show in the summer of 1996, according to a documentary produced by Britain’s Channel 4. She and the writers decided that the narrative arc of the following season would revolve around Ellen’s coming out in the spring.

Throughout the season the show offered occasional incidents of foreshadowing, such as a friend searching for Ellen in her house, only to have Ellen come out from the closet where she was hiding. At one point, Ellen told Channel 4, they contemplated having Ellen discover that she was Lebanese.

In the final months before the episode aired, Ellen and Heche began conspicuously displaying affection, and not long afterward Ellen appeared on the cover of Time beneath the headline “Yep, I’m Gay.”

The next week the episode (which, by the way, was pretty damn funny) drew a Super Bowl-sized audience, sealing Ellen’s cultural identity. Whatever she does from here on out, she’s fated, like Oscar Wilde, to be remembered for her sexual orientation first and her artistic accomplishments second.

It’s all far too ironic, since basically the whole point of the coming-out episode was that there is no difference between the pre-lesbian and the post-lesbian Ellen (and here I’m dubiously twinning her on- and off-screen personae).

In the episode, Ellen seemed determined that, for her, coming out was not a political statement. She stated emphatically to her group of bookstore friends that she was the same old Ellen as before. In fact, she was put off by the characters who were unabashedly (if stereotypically) lesbian–like k.d. lang’s butch coffee-shop folksinger. Never, Ellen seemed to say, did she ask to be an emblem for any kind of movement.

ELLEN’S FIRST brush with fame came in the mid-’80s, when Showtime plucked her from the comedy joints of her native Louisiana and named her the Funniest Person in America. She became a minor celebrity on the club circuit and appeared regularly on just about every cable TV comedy show.

She got couch on Leno and Letterman (as Woody Allen’s Broadway Danny Rose would say) even before she landed her own sitcom on ABC in 1993. Originally titled These Friends of Mine, the show, Ellen, changed names, producers, and writers but never emerged from the middle of the pack in the weekly Nielsens.

Still, the show was reliably funny–mostly because of the comic delivery she mastered after all her years on the road. Ellen’s character on the show was a lot like her stand-up personality: self-deprecating, but not self-lacerating; sarcastic, but not dark; engaged, but not political.

In her stand-up act, she keenly observed the absurdities of everyday life, but instead of framing her observations in the arch, cynical tone of a Dave Atell or George Carlin, she used the voice of a puckish innocent.

Here she is, in one of her favorite riffs, describing her bewilderment over hunters and the art of taxidermy (recall her bright, wide eyes, for she is an excellent visual comic): “I ask people why they have deer heads on their walls. They say, ‘Because it’s such a beautiful animal.’ I think my mother’s attractive, but I have photographs of her. . . . The deer heads I feel sorry for the most–you see them at bars or restaurants–they have the silly party hats on them, sunglasses, little stringers around their necks. I mean, obviously, they were at a party, having a good time.”

Like just about every humorist of her era, Ellen relies on irony. Her voice isn’t really about innocence, but experience told through the language of innocence. It’s the gentle, detached irony we all use to get through the day.

And it’s this subtle combination of guilelessness and knowingness in her stand-up act and her sitcom that made her coming out such an instant cultural phenomenon. She possessed the attractive quality of being like the daughter of a TV viewer’s next-door neighbor, the girl we all liked but suspected might be a little “different.”

After revealing her orientation, she was embraced almost universally and endured little outrage–except at the hands of Jerry Falwell, who made an obligatory stab at Ellen before going on to tackle another cultural demon, Tinky Winky.

But after the coming-out episode, Ellen’s once staggering Q rating fell into the basement because she became too closely identified with a single concept. People began to complain of Ellen saturation in the same way pundits now say the country is beset by Clinton fatigue. “When will she get over being a lesbian already?” people asked as they switched the channel. In spite of everything, Ellen railed against in the coming-out episode, she was now a lesbian and not much more.

This perception was enhanced by the content of her show during what turned out to be its final season. Though still in sitcom fashion, the show explored the daily life of Ellen as lesbian: she started dating a girlfriend, and one episode, for instance, chronicled her search for a plumber in the pages of a gay-business directory.

In interviews and articles, Ellen made it clear that it was “business as sitcom usual” on the show, with a minor change. But ABC and its parent company, Disney, slapped on a full-screen parental discretion warning before each show began. She complained that the disclaimer made viewers feel as if they were entering a nuclear test site. When the final episode ran in 1998, she told Entertainment Weekly that she was fired “basically because I’m gay.”

Heche at her side, she roundly criticized Hollywood, and the two made a big point of leaving Tinseltown for a time. Ellen returned a year later (where she is rumored to be starring in an upcoming CBS sitcom), but the stakes had changed. She became an outspoken activist for gay rights, and it’s safe to say she’s no longer the bright-eyed comic that audiences propelled onto television.

ELLEN BRINGS this full set of cultural luggage with her to the Luther Burbank Center. What will the audience expect from her performance?

What’s unfortunate is that her comedy routine, if a recent recording is any indication, has fallen off quite a bit. Her peculiar take on daily life, though it will make you chuckle, has grown stale. Now she sounds like Jerry Seinfeld in one of his have-you-ever-noticed-such-and-such riffs.

Here she is talking about airline stewardesses: “They have this attitude, and they can afford to have the attitude because they have the power: they have the peanuts. They have these six peanuts that we need. Somebody could offer that to you on the street, [and you’d say,] ‘I don’t want that shit. Get that away from me. Six peanuts!’ Somehow they’ve done research; they know the higher we go, the more we need nuts.”

But Ellen’s comedy may not be the point, because she’s no longer just a stand-up comic. She’s been expelled from the garden of her prior innocence into the fickle and unmerciful world of celebrity expectation. Maybe her once fine ear for irony will be at work again, allowing her to profit from the potentially dulling experience of being both a person and an object.

From the June 15-21, 2000, 1999 issue of the Sonoma County Independent.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

New CDs

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Keeper of the fire: Steve Earle.

Perfect Pairs

New CDs offer complementary summer listening

By Greg Cahill

Billy Bragg & Wilco Mermaid Avenue, Vol. II Elektra

Various Artists ‘Til We Outnumber ‘Em: The Songs of Woody Guthrie Righteous Babe

OK, THIS IS AN IDEA that sounded better the first time around, but there’s still plenty to love about Mermaid Avenue, Vol. II. British agit-pop star Billy Bragg returns with another set of previously unrecorded Woody Guthrie tunes culled from the late folk pioneer’s archive and given the royal alt-country treatment by critics’ darlings Wilco. There are lots of gems here. It’s a real testament to Guthrie’s depth as a lyricist that these songs are so remarkably fresh. The lead track, “Airline to Heaven,” sounds like a lost Dylan song. The ragged “Feed of Man” is Wilco at their untamed best. Indeed, the strength of these songs speaks volumes about the legacy of America’s greatest popular songwriter, especially when you consider these songs languished for 40 years. ‘Til We Outnumber ‘Em, recorded at the 1996 Rock and Roll Hall of Fame fundraiser for the Guthrie Museum, is a reverential hootenanny with Bragg, Bruce Springsteen, Arlo Guthrie, Ramblin’ Jack Elliot, Ani DeFranco, David Pirner, and Tim Robbins. It’s a campfire sing-along straight from the heart.

Robert Lockwood, Jr. Delta Crossroads Telarc Blues

Peter Green Hot Foot Powder Artisan

BLUES LEGEND Robert Johnson recorded only 29 songs, but left a legacy as sprawling as the Mississippi Delta that now bears his bones. His short, troubled life–and mysterious poisoning in 1938–have fueled the imaginations of authors, filmmakers, and songwriters for more than 60 years. While he remains enigmatic, Johnson once imparted his trade secrets to the then teen-aged Lockwood, his quasi-stepson. At 85, Lockwood’s voice falters on this collection of mostly Johnson tunes, played on a 12-string acoustic guitar. Yet there is an undeniable authenticity here that often transcends age and infirmity, especially in Lockwood’s steady-rolling fretwork. Guitarist and vocalist Peter Green, who founded the original Fleetwood Mac, has never sounded better than on his new tribute to Johnson. He handles Johnson’s songs like the sacred tablets, but never allows himself to be overwhelmed. Sounding every bit like a young Eric Clapton (and Green can give Clapton a run for his money), Green is joined by special guests Buddy Guy, Honeyboy Edwards (a onetime Johnson sidekick), Dr. John, Otis Rush, Joe Louis Walker, and Hubert Sumlin. Johnson’s canon has been covered hundreds of times, but seldom as satisfyingly.

Bebel Gilberto Tanto Tempo Six Degrees

Zuco 103 Outro Lado Six Degrees

THERE’S just something so soothing about summer sambas. And no one sings them as languidly as Brazilian beauty Bebel Gilberto. The daughter of guitarist Jão Gilberto, one of the most revered musicians in Brazil, Bebel is probably best known to U.S. audiences for her reinterpretations of classic bossa-nova tunes on 1998’s Next Stop Wonderland soundtrack, her 1997 rendition of “The Girl from Ipanema” on Kenny G’s platinum-selling Classics in the Key of G, and her duet with Brazilian composer Cazusa on 1996’s Red Hot + Rio AIDS benefit compilation. Ah, the loving language of the bossa nova. On the other hand, Zuco 103 will kick your summer into overdrive with driving jungle rhythms, hip-hop beats, and electronic samples. This Dutch and German hybrid falls a bit flat when they play it straight, but things rise to a new level as they pump up the jam with speed raps, sassy ’70s soul-jazz, or drum ‘n’ bass grooves.

Dwight Yoakam dwightyoakamacoustic.net Warner

Steve Earle Transcendental Blues Artemis

THESE COUNTRY singer/songwriters both emerged from the mid-’80s neo-traditionalist movement (which dead-ended when Garth Brooks showed up on the scene). Then their fortunes parted ways. Yoakam became the darling of Nashville’s young elite, selling 17 million records before faltering artistically as he embraced the swing craze and a crass commercialism. This oddly packaged (a plain jewel case with a simple mailing label displaying the title) and strangely named release (speaking of crass commercialism, the title is intended to steer fans to Dwight’s own Web venture) is just Dwight accompanying himself on guitar while reworking his original hits. That’s a mixed blessing. It’s unadulterated Yoakam–that’s good. But it’s also a lo-fi rehash of songs we already know and love. Let’s just hope it helps Yoakam find his way back home. Meanwhile, Earle is a Nashville renegade who has crafted a gloriously introspective, rather Beatlesque bluegrass album–replete with baroque strings and Indian drones–that redefines the genre and fulfills the dream of the neo-traditionlists. The themes are familiar to Earle fans–anti-death penalty songs and small-town laments–but Earle’s twangy arrangements and assured songwriting are imbued with a fiery passion. Yoakam’s got a lot of catching up to do.

From the June 15-21, 2000, 1999 issue of the Sonoma County Independent.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Madrona Manor

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Hot stuff: Chef Jesse Mallgren–with squab, foie gras vol-au-vent, rhubarb chutney, and baby corn–has enlivened Madrone Manor’s once staid menu.

Victorian Grace

Madrona Manor dishes up a winning formula

By Paula Harris

HER WELL-CUT black silk cocktail dress and pearl choker gleam luxuriously in the dining room’s soft candlelight. Smooth blonde hair cascades to her shoulders as she leans forward to study the menu, tracing the navy print with a perfectly manicured fingertip. We can see only the back of her beau’s equally well-groomed head, but note that he’s wearing a formal dark suit with square shoulders.

Sure, they make a picture-perfect couple sitting here at a corner table in Madrona Manor’s restaurant. Yet they seem slightly out of place. At other tables, diners are dressed more comfortably–not shabbily, mind you, just less constrained. One jovial table is not above zealously clinking their wine glasses and letting out the occasional guffaw–something that makes our nicely coifed pair actually turn and frown upon.

It’s weird. Until recently, dining here in this 1881 grand gabled historic landmark meant sitting up straight, conversing in whispers, and listening to polite, if not pompous, recorded chamber music. Tonight, though, jazz diva Billie Holiday’s relaxed and seductive Lady in Autumn: The Best of the Verve Years melts over the sound system, and the place boasts newly painted mottled soft peach walls and white trim.

It seems the venerable Victorian country inn and restaurant on the outskirts of Healdsburg has shed its stuffy image.

“Yes, we decided to lighten up,” affirms our waiter when we comment on the changes. “Make the place less cold.”

New owners Bill and Trudi Konrad purchased Madrona Manor in April 1999 and completely redecorated the place. Last October, they brought in new chef Jesse Mallgren, formerly of Syzygy in Aspen and Stars in San Francisco, who instituted an additional à la carte menu (available Thursday through Sunday) and revitalized the menu with lighter, more contemporary items.

Madrona Manor’s three intimate dining rooms are still elegantly appointed with comfortable upholstered chairs, white linen tablecloths, cut-glass candlesticks, and heavy silverware. But now the ambiance succeeds in being quite laid-back. We’re eager to see how the food, which used to be somewhat inconsistent, now stacks up.

THE MEAL STARTS with promise. The servers bring us wonderful warm house-baked potato-and-herb rolls and an amuse-gueule of delicate tuna tartare crostini.

Listed for each dish on the à la carte menu is a suggested wine pairing, which may be ordered by the glass–but it’s all very informal. “Don’t feel you have to follow our suggestions,” our waiter tells us. “You can choose whatever you feel like.”

The wine list, by the way, is impressive.

One of the most popular appetizers, according to the waiter, is the crispy lobster spring rolls ($14). We can see why. The dish consists of two generous crisp hot spring rolls with cases thinner than paper, filled with big gobs of plump lobster meat and hints of Szechwan peppercorn. Diced pineapple “marmalade” sauce echoes and coaxes out the sweetness of the lobster. A masterfully presented daikon-cucumber salad drizzled with a touch of peanut oil accompanies the spring rolls. The scrumptious dish is sweet and spicy, fruity and nutty all at once. The menu suggests pairing it with a glass of 1998 Preston Viognier ($6.25 a glass).

A sleek savory Sonoma foie gras terrine ($15) slips and glides between the teeth, rich as creamery butter. Accompanied by a dollop of intense applesauce and a savory popover, it’s a slice of decadence. A sweet 1998 de Lorimier Lace Late Harvest Sémillon ($7.50 a glass) is the suggested wine.

English pea soup ($7) is light and subtle, but has an intense, fresh-from-the-garden flavor. It’s topped by a float of whipped mascarpone, miniature profiteroles, and pumpkin seeds.

The staff is attentive–perhaps a shade too clingy, but that’s a minor quibble. Everything is so well presented, often layered to create small intricate towers on the plate, you almost feel guilty when your silverware becomes a wrecking ball. Still, that doesn’t seem to deter most diners around us, who are digging right in with abandon.

A two-inch-thick boneless pork chop ($19) is cooked perfectly so that the meat is snowy white. It’s capped with wild-mushroom fingerling potato hash and a warm spinach salad with apple cider jus. The recommended pairing is 1997 Kendall-Jackson Vintners Reserve Syrah ($7.50 a glass).

The wild-rice potato gnocchi ($17) are tender little pillows accompanied by baby squash, toasted walnuts, fried garlic, and a brush of basil and tomato oil. The dish pairs well with the 1997 Buena Vista Chardonnay ($7/glass).

We have room for only one dessert, but it’s lovely–a warm chocolate soufflé cake ($5.75) with raspberry and crème anglaise sauces. Tasting like air flavored with chocolate, it has a thin crust that gives way to melt-in-the-mouth creamy chocolate richness. The menu suggests pairing it with 1982 Dows Reserve Tawny Porto ($5.75 a glass).

When you’re dining here, before leaving be sure to stroll through the beautiful landscaped gardens with their illuminated fountain, benches, urns of cascading flowers, and gorgeous scents. And by all means, don your Sunday best if you wish, but Madrona Manor proves that an elegant atmosphere needn’t be stuffy.

From the June 15-21, 2000, 1999 issue of the Sonoma County Independent.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

The Crawl

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Morning medication: Bartender Mia Aldrich serves up the hair of the dog.

The Crawl

Testing the waters of a local alcohol-sated college tradition

By Heidi Blankenship

AFTER ATTENDING Sonoma State University for one and a half years, and with the semester at an end, I decide it’s time to descend with a six-pack of friends through the legendary Cotati Crawl, a headlong tour of five bars in a two-block area of this small college town.

The Yacht Club proves a sufficient anchor for the unfolding night of drinking. Peggy, the bartender, advertises the theme with her tank top emblazoned with “Water . . . What Water?” Her topaz and zirconium mariner’s-wheel earrings set off the outfit superbly.

Picking up the mike at 10:30 p.m., she sounds like an experienced announcer as she introduces weeklong drink specials, a midnight buffet, and a weekend barbecue to thank the students for their business. Feeling the crowd move in on my stool, I turn to watch the mingling of youth. Cool-colored plaid shirts turn to gawk at perky tight pink tops. The population at the bar has doubled in half an hour. Rather than suffocate under mock-designer cologne, we climb out the window and move toward the heart of the drinking scene.

A short walk through the park brings us to the Inn of the Beginning, a defining point of Cotati’s history, and the de facto SSU student union. For 25 years, it has survived the challenges awarded to any governing institution and continues to attract generations of music enthusiasts. Everyone from Big Brother and the Holding Company to Fishbone has held forth on the tiny stage. On this night, an AIDS-awareness concert is under way, featuring a small combo playing groovin’ jazz. Here plaids are traded for artistic influence and traditional diversity. A more down-to-earth and age-indiscriminate crowd mingles here. Dancing comes sporadically; instead of hoofing it, many people are comfortable just sitting slack-jawed at the small round tables lining the walls.

The disco ball is dizzying, but the glow of red-and-white Christmas lights keeps the room mellow.

Step back 20 feet and 20 years–next door, Spancky’s is the last refuge for middle-aged drinkers in a college-dominated town. But as we arrive, the usually raucous bar is almost empty the first time we sit down for a drink. A leather-clad couple enjoys a beer at the table next to us, barely tolerating the noise of popular teen hits issuing from the jukebox.

Returning later, we find a crowd and a DJ pumpin’ up the jams with Bel Biv Devo’s PPPPoison.

On down the road to the neon mecca on Cotati’s most frequented corner–the Eight Ball. The drinks here are strong and cheap. I expect an experienced bar crowd and find factions from the Yacht Club have relocated here. There is nowhere to sit, so we trade the comfort of a seat for warmth and collect around the outside patio. The large cement backyard needs heat lamps, although the enormous barbecue will probably be sufficient for the summer. The accommodations–porch, snack machine, pool tables, and pinball machine–are impressive. Keeping the patrons from wandering out the front door to search for provisions seems a more obvious requirement for a bar.

RELUCTANTLY we leave the cheap drinks behind and veer toward the Tradewinds. This friendly bar features live local bands throughout the week, usually with no cover charge. On this night, the room holds but a few drinkers. Theorizing that the more tables there are, the fewer people come in to sit at them, I wonder why more folks don’t like to sit back and watch the band, which rocks on enthusiastically, oblivious to the blank stares of drunken dreamers. Customer satisfaction at 1 a.m. comes when the smiling bartender retrieves an eighth of a bag of potato chips to satisfy my salt craving.

By last call, I feel drowned out–the Crawl has kept a steady pace. At 1:45 a.m., my friends and I end up back at the Yacht Club, seeking out the midnight buffet, but can’t get through the surging crowd.

Rough and reddy: The legendary owner, Red Lehan.

Frustrated, we head for home, stopping at Red’s Recovery Room out on Highway 116–a legendary dive bar recently immortalized in song by crooner Tom Waits. Inside the tiny ramshackle landmark, a woman in a purple salsa skirt dances unencumbered ’round the pool table, while belting out a slurred rendition of Bruce Springteen songs. The woman behind this bar is harder and meaner than the men at either of the two rough-and-ready bars we visited earlier.

In the window is a sheet of paper emblazoned with four Red Cross symbols reading “Road Rage Cured Here.”

Appropriately, we prop ourselves up and order three large keg-cups of cold water to soothe our liquored livers.

From the June 8-14, 2000 issue of the Sonoma County Independent.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

‘Road Trip’

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Snake eyes: Tom Green tries to out-ugly a pet snake in the lamentable Road Trip.

Bad ‘Trip’

Philosopher Alain de Botton uncovers the secret cruelty of ‘feel-good’ films

By David Templeton

Writer David Templeton takes interesting people to interesting movies in his ongoing quest for the ultimate post-film conversation. This is not a review; rather, it’s a freewheeling, tangential discussion of art, alternative ideas, and popular culture.

ALAIN DE BOTTON is not comfortable in shopping malls. Nevertheless, here he is: perched on a plastic chair in front of a plastic table in the midst of a food court at the center of a massive mall. The celebrated philosopher is similarly disinclined toward seeing raunchy lowbrow comedies like Road Trip. And yet that’s exactly what we’ve just done.

We’ve seen Road Trip. At a theater. In this very same shopping mall.

Life is funny that way.

De Botton, author of the bestselling How Proust Can Change Your Life and the brand-new Consolations of Philosophy–and a director of the graduate philosophy program at London University–has cheerfully agreed to bring his considerable expertise to bear on today’s film.

Starring MTV’s Tom Green, Road Trip is like Homer’s Odyssey, but with fart jokes. It follows a motley band of college guys who journey from upstate New York to Austin, Texas, on a quest to intercept a video that’s been accidentally mailed to Josh’s girlfriend, Tiffany. The video, it seems, shows Josh having sex with someone named Beth. Crudity ensues. Cars crash. Snakes bite people. Numerous breasts are displayed.

There is a happy ending.

Road Trip is very much, um, a ‘feel-good movie,’ ” de Botton remarks. He utters those words–“feel-good movie”–a bit reluctantly, as if he were saying, “Hey, I’m going to a shopping mall to watch Road Trip.”

But wait a minute. Is there something wrong with feel-good movies?

“Well, yes,” he replies. “In Road Trip, for example, it sets up a situation in which all sorts of conflicts are happily resolved by the film’s end. Yet of course life isn’t like that. So you leave the theater feeling good about those people in the movie. You think, ‘Well, their lives have all worked out nicely, but what about mine?’

“Here I am in a food court at 4 in the afternoon,” de Botton continues, “surrounded by people whose lives are probably not going all that well because, after all, they’re in a food court at 4 in the afternoon, surrounded by artificial music and artificial trees, with a vague sense of menace and despair in the air.

“Most feel-good films are actually quite cruel,” he adds, “because they can leave us feeling irritated and perturbed about our own lives–even though we might have had a good time in the cinema.

“Which, by the way, I did,” he concludes. “I must confess that I rather enjoyed myself.”

In The Consolations of Philosophy (Pantheon; $22.95), de Botton takes a joyride of his own. He deftly maneuvers through the teachings of his six favorite philosophers: Socrates, Schopenhauer, Montaigne, Epicurus, Seneca, and Nietzsche–an assortment of gentlemen every bit as motley as the young crew in Road Trip, though quite a bit smarter.

In a fast 200 pages, de Botton mines the teachings of these six illustrious thinkers, extracting some dazzling gems of practical wisdom, ideas that speak to the pains and insecurities of the average modern-day human.

“So, what would my six philosophers say about Road Trip?” de Botton wonders. “First of all, I think Schopenhauer would say this is a dangerous film, because it’s a fairy tale.”

Arthur Schopenhauer. Born in Danzig, 1788. Notorious pessimist. Once said, “Life is a sorry business.” Died in 1860.

“Schopenhauer valued art a lot,” says de Botton. “He believed that art should prepare us for life, that art should help us meet life head-on by dealing with difficult issues. He’d probably say that truly realistic films, films that make you appreciate real conflicts, can help reconcile you to the nasty conditions of life. So Road Trip misses doing what art should do, because it hints at the difficulties of life, and then the fairy-tale ending allows everyone to avoid having to deal with those difficulties.

“SOMEONE like Montaigne, however, would take a lighter approach.” That’s Michel de Montaigne. Born in France in 1533. Died in 1592. Known to make fart jokes.

“He’d probably say that Road Trip was amusing and fun, and he’d have especially responded to the idea that these characters really needed to get in touch with their bodies,” says de Botton. “Various characters in the film are kind of ‘rescued’ by sex: the nerdy, dweeby guy, for instance, who loses his virginity and promptly becomes a stronger, more confident person. ”

Friedrich Nietzsche, 1844-1900, the German thinker who often expounded the joys and benefits of conflict and suffering, is harder to pinpoint.

“Nietzsche, if he were in a good mood, would have read this thing as a much-too-sentimental resolution of conflict,” de Botton says. “They avoid suffering, so avoid wisdom. On the other hand, Nietzsche did like some stunningly bad art. He liked reading bad sentimental novels about princesses being rescued and things like that.

“I can’t imagine Epicurus sitting through this,” he continues. “And Seneca would have hated it.” Epicurus being the Greek philosopher who taught around 200 B.C., and Seneca being a Roman statesman and Nero’s teacher who was ordered to kill himself in A.D. 65–and complied.

“If forced to see it, Epicurus might focus on the idea of love and friendship,” de Botton says. “The film was about buddies. So Epicurus might point out that friendship is an important part of happiness. Seneca would have had no interest in it whatsoever. He considered hopefulness to be a doorway to frustration.”

And what about Socrates?

“Well, he might have appreciated the film,” suggests de Botton. “He’d have liked its cynical view of teachers and academia. Knowledge was the kind of thing you might acquire in the back of a bus while talking with some guy smoking pot.”

De Botton stops and looks around.

“Socrates,” he says with a smile, “would probably be out here in this food court, eagerly talking to people about their lives.”

From the June 8-14, 2000 issue of the Sonoma County Independent.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Danger Ha Ha

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Taking chances: Stilts, stunts, and political theater are all in a day’s work for the women and men of Danger Ha Ha.

Photograph by Michael Amsler

Walkin’ Tall

Nothing stilted about the performance art of Danger Ha Ha

By David Templeton

“ALL PERFORMANCE is a sacred act,” says Kym Trippsmith. “When you bring joy and laughter to people, you are doing something that is purely sacred. It is possible to heal the planet through performance. That’s my party line.

“And that’s the place Danger Ha Ha is coming from.”

Danger Ha Ha: it sounds like a mistake, like random tidbits accidentally cut and pasted from the transcript of some old Underdog cartoon. It’s a name so odd and unusual you can’t help but wonder if you heard it correctly. When people hear it spoken, they instantly wonder how it’s spelled; when they read it in print, they want to say it out loud two or three times, just to feel it playing over their own disbelieving tongue.

Danger Ha Ha–a 10-member environmentally aware performance troupe based in Sonoma County, honchoed by Trippsmith, who lives in Occidental–has been bringing sacred joy and pure laughter to astonished people across the country for over four years.

And if you think the name is weird, just wait till you see them in action.

“What we do,” explains Trippsmith, “is to surprise people by confronting them with something so spectacular and out-of-the-ordinary that they instantly forget their 9-to-5 jobs, forget their worries and problems, feel wonderful and happy, and suddenly realize that they themselves are spectacular and special and out of the ordinary.”

Or, in other words, “We do daredevil stilting,” she says.

And that’s only the beginning. Danger Ha Ha, employing a wild combination of acting, dance, music, acrobatics, operatic harmonizing, and fire-juggling, have taken the art of walking on stilts and elevated it to previously unknown heights of physical daring and visual beauty.

What began as a one-time environmental-theater event at the fabled Burning Man celebration has become a semi-legendary traveling performance-art sideshow at fairs, festivals, and corporate events around the nation.

Wherever they go, people agree that seeing Danger Ha Ha in action is an experience that more or less defies description.

Child’s play: The performer known as “Alma” towers over 9-year-old Christopher Bianucci.

Photograph by Michael Amsler

“We run into that ‘description’ problem all the time,” admits the 30-something Trippsmith, a full-time freelance writer who majored in environmental science and theater production at Evergreen college and trained for years as a modern dancer. “We’re hard to describe. People really have to come see us to believe us. And even then a lot of people don’t believe what they see.”

You have two opportunities to see for yourself. The troupe performs at both the Health and Harmony Festival in Santa Rosa on June 10 and 11 and at the Marin Art Festival in San Rafael on June 18. Danger Ha Ha–Amanda Burton of Guerneville, Heather Wakefield of Sebastopol, and the other members, all of whom hail from around the Bay Area–will be on hand (and on stilts), working their way across (and above) a festive landscape peopled with 150 artists, craftspersons, musicians, and entertainers.

The troupe performs on stilts that range from four to seven feet tall, and the performers usually appear in outrageously elaborate costumes that reach to the ground. Some are blazing white, hoop-skirted gowns adorned with feathers. Some are trees. Some are fairies floating above the crowds, freely dropping flower petals on the upturned faces.

“Fairies are a big part of what we do,” says Trippsmith. “Fairies are wonderful, because they are such an important part of our collective conscious. Kids look up and think, ‘Of course. Fairies. What could be more normal?’ and adults just go ‘Wow.’ Looking down at their expressions, we can see something open up in their hearts, a place of lightness and happiness.”

In the course of a Danger Ha Ha show, the stilters do more than walk around in costume.

Heck, anyone can do that.

Trippsmith and the rest of the company dance on their stilts. They skip and jump up and down on their stilts. They sing arias in five-part harmony on their stilts. They do somersaults on their stilts. They join hands and spin each other through the air on stilts.

“In our most spectacular trick,” she says, “one of our stilters dips a rope in white gas, lights it, then lights his stilts on fire. Then he skips rope. When we perform inside, we turn the lights off. It’s pretty amazing.”

Trippsmith, who broke her hand in a fall from her stilts last year, is enthusiastic about pushing the envelope of what is possible. There are metaphorical reasons for this, she says.

“We want to heal the planet,” she says simply. “We want people to recognize that it’s up to us to heal the planet. But it’s not easy. Most people are doing everything they can just to recycle their plastic. So we know it won’t be easy.

“But it is possible. Just look at what we do up there. We do the impossible all the time.”

Danger Ha Ha will perform at the Health and Harmony Festival on Saturday and Sunday, June 10 and 11, at 2 p.m. at the Sonoma County Fairgrounds, 1350 Bennett Valley Road, Santa Rosa. For prices and details, call 575-9355. They’ll perform again on Sunday, June 18, at 1 and 4:30 p.m. at the Marin Art Festival at Lagoon Park, Marin Center, Civic Center Drive, San Rafael. Admission is $6. For details, call 415/472-3500.

From the June 8-14, 2000 issue of the Sonoma County Independent.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Old Vic

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Clean and sober: Olive enjoys music and a nonalcoholic drink at the Old Vic.

Straight Edge

Nondrinkers hit the bar-and-club scene

By Shelley Lawrence

MS. OLIVE, 28, is six feet tall with six piercings in her lip. Actually, she’s got six small holes, because she took the piercings out a few years ago. Her hair is jet-black and down to her waist, braided into rags about a half-inch thick. Across her knuckles is tattooed the motto “LIVE FREE.” By the time your eye has traveled up to her shoulder, it has seen “HELL” (on her wrist), “IRONY” (encased in flames), and a fleet of UFOs swarming between inky planets. The entire “sleeve” has been tattooed with a Swiss-cheese effect so that the whole scene appears to take place under the skin of her arm.

Her boyfriend, Sean, 29, is just as imposing. His jet-black hair is spiked stiffly all over his head, and he sports numerous tattoos as well as facial piercings, scars, and stretched ear-holes with metal tubes stuck through them.

Not your typical teetotalers, but both are members of a 12-step recovery program and do not drink or do any other drugs. They do, however, have a great time clubbing and bar-hopping sans hooch. They go to shows, preferably punk or rockabilly. They frequent bars with friends to hear live music or to shoot pool. Sean says it’s easier to go out with friends from the program because the pressure to drink is lessened.

Olive tells me that if she’s feeling shaky or feeling the urge to use, she’ll stay home and cook or garden instead of going out, even if that means missing a show.

For 17 years, Sean used every drug he could, mainly heroin. He’s been clean and sober now for five months. Olive has been clean for four years and 10 months after using heroin, alcohol, and other drugs for six and a half years.

She laughs at herself now, saying she’s one of “those people” whom she used to scorn while getting high.

“And I like it!” she laughs when asked about her sobriety. “You would never have caught me going into a video store before. I’d be like ‘How boring!’ Drugs were my TV, that’s just what I did before. I used to hate people who’d go and watch a movie on a Friday night.

“Now I’ve become that person, and I like it. I mean, you pay two bucks [for a video] and you have entertainment for 12 people for two hours!

“You can’t beat that.”

Sean never drank too much while he was getting high, and now sometimes wishes he could have a cold beer.

Olive did drink a lot–so much that she suffered alcohol poisoning, which led to her quitting drugs and alcohol.

When it comes to going to bars, Olive has “mixed emotions.”

“I remember when it was fun other times going out,” she says, “but now when I go out, I see people in bars being violent and aggressive. I don’t care for drunks, unless I am one. Once recently, I saw this girl who’d been in the program and had relapsed. It was at a party at this punk-rock frat house. I really wanted to see her lying in a pool of her own vomit so I could think, ‘Show me [drinking] doesn’t work!’ It just doesn’t work.

“The party had been fun, and then she started this huge fight and it got ugly there.”

BOTH SEAN and Olive do a lot to stay busy, be productive, and keep themselves from drinking. They are heavily involved in activist work: Olive volunteers for the Purple Berets, the Sonoma County women’s rights organization; and Sean works with a radical environmental group.

Olive previously volunteered to work for the needle exchange in Berkeley, a program to stop the spread of disease among intravenous-drug users. The program offers free HIV tests, vaccinations against hepatitis A and B , clean needles in exchange for dirty ones, cleaning supplies for needles, condoms, and sex advice.

Sean still hangs out with people who use and drink, but has decided the lifestyle is no longer for him. Both Sean and Olive appreciate their fun now more that they are sober.

Olive says that they’ve relearned how to have fun.

“Being in the program, we’ve learned that recovery can kick ass. You’ve just got to meet people who have the same interests. The emotions that brought you to the program are the same. Even though everybody’s situations are very different, the feelings behind them are the same–that’s why we’re all here in this place.

“That’s what brought us here, and that’s what matters.”

Olive and Sean attend 12-step meetings three to seven times a week. Both say that the meetings are a social scene in their own right. Afterward, friends may congregate at an all-night diner for coffee and to pig out on greasy food.

Sometimes everybody winds up at Sean’s house.

As Sean, Olive, and I leave the coffee shop where we’ve met for our interview, I notice that one of Sean’s ears has a gaping hole in it, while the other sports a tribal “plug.”

When I remark that he’s missing an ornament, Sean just grins and answers, “Yeah, some drunk dude knocked it out of my ear in a bar last week.”

From the June 8-14, 2000 issue of the Sonoma County Independent.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Club Fab

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Club Fab ignites Guerneville nightlife

By Patrick Sullivan

Roving spotlights prowl across a stormy sea of dancing bodies moving to the grinding beat of a booming sound system. Two muscular, scantily clad male dancers wiggle their bronze bodies atop two high platforms in front of a giant prop rocket. On a huge projection screen hanging from the ceiling, animated figures wander through computer-generated alien landscapes.

Tray held high, a smiling waitress makes her way across the chaotic dance floor. Just about the only woman in sight, she dodges two shirtless guys doing some hip version of the lambada, then makes a wide circle around a slender raver twirling a pair of glowsticks and watching the green trails in the huge mirrors on the wall.

But getting back isn’t going to be easy. Suddenly, as if by prearranged signal, a fresh wave of club-goers surges down the steps, bringing new energy and new body heat to the already crowded dance floor. All across the room, more shirts come off and the dancing gets wilder.

No, this isn’t some club in the Castro or some after-hours gay rave south of Market. Welcome to Saturday night at Club Fab in Guerneville.

Since it opened just over a year ago, the 7,000-square-foot dance club has been gradually building a reputation that now extends far beyond the boundaries of Sonoma County. Most summer nights, gay men and lesbians from Santa Rosa, San Francisco, and beyond pack the dance floor. But several new events are also attracting a growing number of straight patrons.

In the process of building an audience, Club Fab is doing its share to help reinvigorate nightlife in the river area. And that, says Greg Seiler, who co-owns the club with his partner, Edward Martinez, was the whole point of opening the doors in the first place.

“We just got tired of apologizing to our friends when they would come up from the city,” says Seiler, a San Francisco resident who has maintained a second home in Guerneville for more than a decade. “Following the ’95 flood especially, there was no nightlife. It just sucked. When this building became available, we just had to do it.”

“We wanted to bring a world-class entertainment venue so that people would have another reason to come up, because a lot of people were coming up and not taking the area seriously,” Martinez adds.

But before Club Fab’s doors could open, the new owners had a few challenges to overcome. The building, which occupies a prime position on Main Street, has a long and colorful history. Built in 1946 as the River Theater, it was a movie palace until 1984, after which it took on a new incarnation as a string of dance clubs and concert halls with names like The Pit and Ziggernaut. But time and neglect took their toll, and when Seiler and Martinez began making their plans, the interior was a mess.

“When we walked into that place, it was being foreclosed,” Seiler explains. “They had taken all the electrical equipment and clipped it loose with wire cutters. It was in a big pile waiting to be auctioned off. We had to put the whole place back together. It was kind of like rebuilding the Mayan Empire.”

After an extensive renovation (which carried a total price tag that Seiler estimates at somewhere close to $100,000), the building now sports a new dance floor, two state-of-the-art sound systems, and a multilevel arrangement of lounges, complete with pool tables and spots to check out the dance-floor action. And, of course, there’s the giant rocket.

“Edward owns the biggest prop house in San Francisco,” Seiler explains. “So we’re able to bring in all kinds of fun things. One night we brought in a 20-foot Egyptian Pharaoh.”

But props aren’t all that’s coming up from the city. Because the club also features an upgraded DJ booth with big-city-style equipment, Seiler and Martinez are able to attract guest DJs from San Francisco.

And their fans follow. Seiler estimates that, on many summer nights, roughly 70 percent of his patrons are from outside Sonoma County. But tourism from the south falls off during the winter months, which is one reason the club has worked hard to build a local audience.

The effort seems to be succeeding. For one thing, an increasing number of straight people are coming through the door, drawn primarily by Club SEXY, a dance party hosted by DJ Dave Matthias from radio station SEXY 95.9. The club’s cabaret nights, which feature drag talent from across the Bay Area, also draw a mixed audience.

“I’m amazed,” Seiler says, “by how many straight people show up on those nights.”

What does the future hold? For one thing, according to Seiler, Club Fab will play host to more live music. The west county-based Institute for the Musical Arts recently put on a concert at the club, and singer Vickie Shepard performed on Memorial Day. Expect to see more acts along the same lines, Seiler says.

“But it’ll be a different kind of music–nothing angry,” he adds with a laugh. “No angry music allowed.”

From the June 8-14, 2000 issue of the Sonoma County Independent.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Mighty Mo Rodgers

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Mo better blues: Mighty Mo Rodgers performs June 18 at the Russian River Blues Festival.

Sound & Spirit

Mighty Mo Rodgers reclaims power of blues

By Greg Cahill

“Blues, which once was on the cutting edge of American music, has become as comfortable as an old chair now.”

–Mighty Mo Rodgers

THERE ARE many blues masters, but Mighty Mo Rodgers is one of the few who can lay claim to possessing a master’s degree in the blues. Indeed, a couple of years ago, when this 56-year-old singer, songwriter, and keyboardist–who appears this Sunday at the Russian River Blues Festival–first proposed earning a master’s degree in humanities for a study of the American musical idiom, the advisers at California State University at Dominguez Hills suggested that he submit a newly recorded solo album as his thesis. Rodgers–a former backup musician and record producer who can wax philosophical for hours about the ontological underpinnings of the blues–decided instead to write a thesis titled “Blues as Metaphysical Music.”

And then he turned the blues world on its collective ear. Last fall, Rodgers released his solo debut, Blues Is My Wailing Wall (Blue Thumb), financed by a $30,000 loan from his credit union and later picked up for international distribution by Universal, to rave reviews.

The album offers a refreshing, original take on an African-American music that has become formulaic. Billboard magazine opined that Rodgers is “a pungently gritty singer who pens tunes that work vigorous new wrinkles into the most timeworn of fashions. A revelation.”

The album earned Rodgers a nomination as New Artist of the Year at this year’s W.C. Handy Blues Awards, a prestigious national honor. While he didn’t walk away with the award, the ceremony gave Rodgers a chance to “meet and greet all of the blues police, as they say.”

Simply being nominated attests that he has made a mark on the blues establishment.

“I went into this to try and shake up the blues, to say something new and fresh,” says Rodgers, during an interview from his Los Angeles home. “I didn’t know if people would ‘get it,’ but the blues muse was pushing me to do it.

“I was shocked by the strength of the reviews. So I’m really flattered.”

Oddly, it’s been an uphill battle getting airplay on the few stations that still program blues music. “Some think the album is world beat,” he says, noting that while the album has garnered airplay on the East Coast, the largest blues station in the country, KLON in Los Angeles, is not playing Rodgers’ tracks.

“I’m not worried about it–that’s their problem, if they don’t hear these things.”

RODGERS conceived of the project, in part, as a way to show the hip-hop generation that the blues is still revolutionary. The concept album–which deals with the relationship of the blues and the heritage of slavery, the infamous Tuskegee syphilis experiment, the black community’s admiration of President Kennedy, and other more traditional blues themes–serves as a timeline that traces “this multifaceted thing we call the blues” from its African roots through its various rural and urban forms.

“I tried to tell the history of the blues as best as I could with 11 songs,” he says.

That Rodgers succeeded without any contrivance and free of clichés is a real wonder.

“That was my goal,” he says. “Blues has become cliché and very redundant in what I call The Blues. I mean, it’s hard to be original in any genre. Usually a genre will open up through some visionary who is iconoclastic and able to break down barriers. I’m not saying I am all of that, but I do have a vision and I know I see clearly. I was so bored and embarrassed with what I was hearing out there–the pedestrian and the maudlin.

“Blues, which once was on the cutting edge of American music, has become as comfortable as an old chair now. But if you listen to the fire and the power of a Robert Johnson or Elmore James or Muddy Waters, after 50 years it still comes off the record almost like it’s 3-D. People try to imitate that, but there can be only one Robert Johnson, one Elmore James. When these guys come along today and do the same thing over and over–the same songs even–it becomes boring and redundant.

“And that’s because most people in the genre are not too original.”

Rodgers is no mere academic–he has been immersed in the blues for more than 40 years, since he was a teen in East Chicago, Ind., where he heard such performers as Willie Dixon, Earl Hooker, and Jimmy Reed. After beginning his own performing career, Rodgers moved to California and became a session man and backup musician for T-Bone Walker, Bobby Blue Bland, Roy Brown, and others. In 1973, he produced blues duo Sonny Terry and Brownie McGhee’s album Sonny and Brownie (A&M).

But, in the mid-’70s, Rodgers grew fed up with the increasingly formulaic nature of the blues. He turned his back on the music business and devoted his attention to raising his son. Eventually, he enrolled at Cal State, Northridge, the first in his family to attend college. He resumed his songwriting, penning tunes for the Motown and Chappell labels. But he soon grew tired of that when they asked for more cliché-ridden compositions.

Last fall, Rodgers earned his master’s degree–a feat that has taken a back seat to his intense love affair with the blues.

“All the degrees in the world don’t mean shit–all the knowledge you now have pales compared to the powerful sound of a Sonny Terry or a Son House,” Rodgers says. “That power is primordial. It’s like looking at a Rothko painting–you know, the great abstract expressionist. There is heat coming out of it. It’s alive.

“And the blues is alive because it comes from God to deny the lie of our nothingness.”

Now he has set his sights on communicating that vision to a new generation in a new century. “There are a lot of young artists who are doing great things, blending the blues and hip-hop or whatever, so that the circle is complete,” he says. “I think that blues in its original form will always be there because that is the construct of the form that allows you to communicate through the call-and-response that originated in Africa with the maximum of communication and the minimum of redundancy.

“That’s basically the black voice, or as scholar Lewis Gabe says, ‘the blackened tongue.’ . . . But while its primordial voice came from black people who had lost everything, the blues has transcended that and become a world music. The blues is folk music that has gone around the world. I don’t care if you’re in Singapore or Stockton, you’re going to hear some Afro-American blues-centered music–R&B, hip-hop, rock ‘n’ roll.

“And that’s the real power of the blues–it’s ability to outrun its commodification.”

Fest Schedule

Sun, sand (or at least a lot of little pebbles), and sound abound at the annual Russian River Blues Festival on Saturday and Sunday, June 17 and 18, from 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. at Johnson’s Beach in Guerneville.

Saturday’s lineup (in order of their appearance): the Bobby Murray Blues Band, the Average White Band, guitarist Tommy Castro, blues legend Little Milton, and the Funky Meters (with Art Neville and George Porter), the originators of New Orleans funk.

Sunday’s lineup: Texas blues diva Angela Strehli, Mighty Mo Rodgers, the Duke Robillard Band, Los Lobos, and R&B great Etta James (above) and the Roots Band.

Tickets: in advance, $40 each day, $75 for a two-day pass; at the gate, $45 and $75. For details, call 510/655-9471.

From the June 8-14, 2000 issue of the Sonoma County Independent.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Daring Drinks

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Daring Drinks

Belly up to the bar and blow your mind

By Marina Wolf

By 1862 the first bartender’s guides were circulating, and British correspondents already were complaining about American drink names; “an obvious defect in manners,” said one.

You’ve seen them before: the shot glasses glowing with a liquid rainbow, the martini glasses radiating colors not found in nature, the coconut goblets topped with an umbrella, a plastic sword, and Carmen Miranda’s hat. They’re the drinks that make you wonder as you sip carefully at your vodka tonic, “What the hell is that?”

Believe it or not, they all have names, and some are listed in standard bartending textbooks. Most of them even make sense. Girl Scout Cookie? It’ll have mint and chocolate (provided by dark cacao and white creme de menthe, layered with Bailey’s in a shot glass). Russian Quaalude? Gotta have vodka, at least, and it does (along with Frangelico and Bailey’s).

But there are other names that reveal nothing: Bad Sting. Ice Pick. Wombat. Pangalactic Gargle Blaster (note: flaming not recommended).

These are all from a book called Simply Shooters: Coast to Coast Shooter Collection, which boasts “over 1150 recipes.” And mind you, that number’s just for shooters.

John Burton, owner of Santa Rosa Bartending School, teaches how to concoct over 100 mixed drinks, which is considered the bare minimum for today’s bartender. But in reality, there are an “infinite number of possibilities,” says Burton.

Two hundred years ago, when mixed drinks were first dubbed cocktails, things were a lot simpler. The cocktail was first described in print in 1906 as rum punch laced with bitters. By 1862 the first bartender’s guides were circulating, and British correspondents already were complaining about the vulgarity of American drink names; “an obvious defect in manners,” said one.

Even then the rage for the outrageous was alive, with names like Corpse Reviver and Chain Lightning. But the cocktails themselves were not absurd: whiskey, rum, and gin, mixed with soda or sours. These simple, strong drinks suited the tastes of the men who were the principal patrons of the saloons in the early 1900s. The women’s temperance movement, combined with a Victorian devotion to propriety, kept public consumption of alcohol to a minimum.

All this changed in the 1920s, when women became emancipated, both socially and politically, and took up drinking as almost a civic duty. A new drinking demographic was born. At the same time, Prohibition settled in, and a thirsty nation sought ways around the federally imposed drought. Speakeasies flowed with strong liquors that were the easiest to bootleg. Faced with liquor of dubious flavor, bartenders created new mixed drinks that simultaneously hid bad liquor and appealed to the new woman drinker.

The names, too, grabbed drinkers with their innuendo; Classic Cocktails lists some crudely named concoctions of the period whose popularity–and formulas–have faded, but whose names live on in a sort of soft-core, F. Scott Fitzgerald fantasy: Atta Boy, One Exciting Night, Bosom Caresser.

Since then, there have been several waves of adventurousness, mainly in response to new spirits and mixers on the market. When vodka and white rum become available in the ’40s and ’50s, lighter, sweeter cocktails appeared on the scene, including the new drink called the screwdriver.

Burton, who has been tending bar for 40 years, remembers the first time a lady ordered a screwdriver at his bar: “People looked at her and said, ‘You’ve gotta be kidding.’ ”

Blue curaçao in the ’60s, Italian syrups in the ’80s–each time something new hits the market, new drinks have to be invented. Now there are thousands of kinds of liquor on the market, scores of vodkas alone. Add to that the different juices, sodas, and mixers, and you have a universe of drinks with just a dash from a different bottle.

Not surprisingly, liquor companies are the prime movers behind the recent cocktail renaissance. They host their own competitions, with cash prizes, and sponsor regional, national, and international events as well. Winners often get written up in industry magazines, and the winning recipes go out with marketing packages.

Galliano’s recent competition yielded, among other things, the G-Spot Shot (Galliano, Midori, and blue curaçao) and the G-String (Galliano, orange juice, and Stolichnaya Razberi–another new spirit).

The newest field of daring drinks is shooters, those miniature cocktails that are created in a shot glass and chugged. Shooters offer a powerful hit of flavor, with surprisingly little alcohol content, says Flamingo bar manager John Timberlake; if you really want to get drunk, get a shot and a beer. But the names promise an extreme experience: Deathwish, Toxic Waste, Hand Grenade, Nuclear Accelerator (flaming definitely not recommended). And it’s difficult to resist the raw sex appeal: Bend Me over Easy, Leg Spreader, Busted Cherry, French Tickle.

THE TAXONOMY of these new creations is elusive. Take the Sex on the Beach series listed in the Shooter Collection. There are nine, including Sex on the Beach for a Week, and not a single common element is to be found in all nine (vodka and Chambord are in six each, peach schnapps and Midori are in four).

The few guidelines that do exist are pretty straightfoward. Blue drinks contain blue curaçao. Green drinks could be lime, Midori, or green menthe (double-check the name for context).

Anything with the word fire, flaming, or inferno in the title could be with Tabasco, cinnamon schnapps, or pepper vodka, or might be set on fire. And anything with an orgasm theme, either explicit or implicit, will have Bailey’s or cream involved (nudge, nudge, wink, wink).

This brings up the gender psychology of these bizarre beverages. Men may go for the zowie, maxed-out shooters of death, but women are the primary consumers of most multi-ingredient mixed drinks, according to bartenders.

“You think men would order a piña colada with whipped cream in front of their friends?” asks Timberlake with a snort. “Women, they like to think they’re shocking bartenders. They’ll come up and say, ‘I’d like a Screaming Orgasm.’

“I just say, ‘Gimme 10 minutes.’ ”

From the June 8-14, 2000 issue of the Sonoma County Independent.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

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