Street Racing

Full Throttle

Age-old problem of street racing gets a new look

By Christian M. Chensvold

THIS IS NOT your father’s Oldsmobile. This is a sporty Toyota Supra modified with a sequential, twin-turbocharged 3.0L DOHC 24-valve EFI inline-six, an air-to-air intercooler with 720cc injectors, and a titanium cat-back exhaust.

If it had wings, it would go to the moon.

Known as “sport-compact cars” or simply “imports,” these souped-up-beyond-recognition Japanese economy cars form the basis of a fast-growing subculture in which thrill-seeking youths one-up one another with the speed and style of their “rides.” The import street-racing trend is a new, high-tech, and multicultural incarnation of America’s age-old obsession with the automobile, an eternal problem of young people pushing the throttle of their newfound independence.

At the tender age of 18, Scott already has the dubious distinction of having sped into a 360-degree spin at Santa Rosa’s Fourth and Mendo at 3 a.m.–right in front of a pack of cops. They shined a bright light in his face and gave him the Kafka treatment for four hours (at least he knew what he’d done). Scott’s thin frame supports a shaved head, dual earrings, and facial hair that doesn’t grow in evenly yet. He’s also rolled two cars. His friend Stacy (not her real name), 22, has raced her Acura Integra on the streets of Rohnert Park and says there’s a rapidly growing number of girls in the local import-racing scene.

They recount the tale of an exhaust-filled night this summer: 400 cars gathered on a Sonoma County street for some high-octane jousting. Street races, like the oldest-established, permanent floating crap game in Guys and Dolls, tend to be at different spots that are revealed only at the last moment, spread by cell-phone word of mouth. Scott has spoken to the law many times about street racing. Once, he says, a CHP officer was happy to turn the other cheek. “A lot of cops I’ve talked to say they don’t care if we race, as long as everyone’s safe about it and it’s a country road where there’s no traffic,” Scott says.

While street races ending in fatalities can make national news (in a well-publicized case recently, a Lamborghini and Corvette collided with another vehicle while racing down an East Coast street, killing three; another recent collision killed a Fremont mother who happened to drive head-on into a racer), those inside the scene say accidents are rare and most are caused by pedestrian revelers getting in the way of the cars. And today’s import fanatics are mostly interested in cultivating a cool, edgy image, not in automobile performance, contends Miles Hechtman, 23, of tuning and logo shop Epic Images in Santa Rosa. The former Southern California native says he grew up in the scene, which he traces to the Asian community in Long Beach about a decade ago. “High school punks today are doing it for the image,” says Hechtman. “Before, it was about the cars; now it’s like what jeans you’re wearing.”

JAPANESE compact cars are an obvious choice for young racers. They’re reliable, relatively inexpensive, and incredibly easy to modify. Honda Civics and Mitsubishi Eclipses are popular project cars. With a little turbocharging and “chipping” (increasing air and gas intake with computer chips), these cars can soon have Porches eating their Japanese dust. After-market parts for Japanese compact cars are now a $1.6 billion industry, up 150 percent over last year.

Import tuning has exploded in California, Texas, and Florida–states with sunny skies, open roads, and multicultural populations. The look is the street equivalent of a race car: bright colors, tail fins, and product logos standing in for sponsors’ names.

Kids in the import scene are not the only ones who jump at the chance to street-race. Middle-aged men with restored American muscle cars can easily be tempted to relive the drag days of their youth. Seventeen-year old Ian, who drives a 2000 Pontiac Trans-Am, says a balding guy in a Shelby Cobra pulled alongside him in a remote area and floored it when the light turned green. “When you get into American cars, it’s all these guys who grew up in the ’60s and have their Sunday cars,” he says. “When they see another Sunday car [the race will be] just a short little thing, and then they’ll pull over and talk about it.”

But when rival bucks pull up at a stoplight together, the race takes a different course. “[The import guys] just don’t stop racing; you stop and they go off at 100 mph. And if you meet them at the next light, they don’t want to have a friendly chat, they want to race again.”

Even on busy Santa Rosa Avenue on a weekend afternoon, any male in a sporty car can expect to hear the howling invitation of a foolhardy racer, flexing the muscles of his engine and pointing his eyes toward the red light about to change hues.

Wednesday Night Drags at Sears Point Raceway offer people a place to drag-race legally, and law enforcement and racing supply stores encourage the kids to take it to the track. However, on July 25, the track closed for remodeling, possibly launching an exodus onto the streets. Most of the kids say they’ve given up on Railroad Avenue in Cotati, long a racing hot spot for its long straightaway and remote location. Crackdowns by local law enforcement have sent the serious scurrying all the way to Ukiah or San Jose, where Silicon Valley’s empty business parks make the perfect setting for late-night drags, which can draw hundreds who scatter like mice when someone on the lookout spots a cop.

IT’S SATURDAY, June 23, the day after opening night of The Fast and the Furious, a Hollywood flick that taps into the street-racing subculture. And the Opak Racing shop in Rohnert Park looks like a bustling Cairo street market. Kids fresh from the cinema stand shoulder to shoulder all demanding one thing: NOS.

That’s Nitrous Oxide Systems, a company that makes do-it-yourself kits with which for $600 you can be cruising at 60 and in two heartbeats be going 100. Just don’t install it wrong or you’ll ruin your engine–or blow yourself up.

Nitrous oxide plays a pivotal role in this new action film. It’s the ace up everyone’s sleeve. In SCUBA-like canisters discreetly placed under the seats, operated James Bond-style by secret buttons, and monitored by laptop computers plugged into the cigarette lighter and cranking complex algorithms, NOS is what makes imports cease being automobiles and more closely resemble the Millennium Falcon making the jump to light speed.

In a summer of blockbusters that went bust, The Fast and the Furious is the biggest surprise hit of the summer. And while the film’s website strongly admonishes viewers to always drive safely, even the most staunch devotee of public transit can’t help but be seduced by the film’s adrenaline-packed depictions of high-speed driving in a bright orange, logo-splattered “rice rocket,” street slang for a modified Japanese import.

Even film critic Roger Ebert had to raise his thumb.

Opak Racing owner Edmun X–a bright, congenial man who reminds you of your high-school math teacher (the cool one)–says business has steadily risen since the movie opened. Opak is the retail face of a larger, New York-based distribution company. X, who has a background in high-tech marketing, says they might launch a chain of Opak Racing stores. He drives a Mercedes Benz sedan, by the way.

With its shiny, bright-colored products lining the shelves, X calls Opak a toy store for big boys. Here any tune-happy gearhead with a monkey wrench and a few hundred bucks can create his own “kandy-kolored, tangerine-flake streamline baby.”

“These are the new high-tech muscle cars,” says Hechtman of Epic Images. “Older guys can’t believe how you can get 800 horsepower out of four cylinders, but it’s all in the technology.”

Lt. David Frazer of the Rohnert Park Police Department says police records show that on Friday, June 22, opening night of The Fast and the Furious, police hunted for a pack of Hondas and Camaros that raced around city streets for two hours. Chalk one up for the media’s influence on society: “Sure, movies influence people,” Lt. Frazer says. “The kids were all jacked up [from the film] and wanted to race.”

Also, some imports recently pulled over have been found to have nitrous oxide hooked up to their engines.

If officers catch a pack of kids dragging on a desolate road, they are cited for “exhibition of speed.” The amount of the fine is up to the judge, but is likely to be around $100 to $300. The citation allows officers to impound the vehicles for the night, which costs several hundred dollars more. If the racing occurs over multiple streets and yellow lines are crossed and red lights violated, officers can cite for reckless driving, a misdemeanor. Bystanders at street races are not cited, though they may have their cars inspected for infractions.

But the more things change, the more they stay the same. Lt. Frazer admits that juvenile street racing goes back to the 1950s, the golden age of American car culture. The era that gave birth to cruising, drive-ins, and parking at Inspiration Point may have even been worse: In 1954’s Rebel without a Cause, the kids not only steal the cars they race; they race them off the edge of a cliff.

“Heck, I even did it,” says Lt. Frazer of street racing. “I had a ’65 Pontiac GTO with three carburetors.”

Then he accidentally lets escape, though not without a certain pride, “I got five tickets in one year when I was 17. I’m surprised they still let me drive.”

The Cost of Cool

2002 Acura RSX (the new Integra): $23,000 Five years at 15 percent: $440 per month Insurance for 22-year-old male with several speeding tickets: $400 per month Budget for upgrades of engine, body, and sound system: $500 per month Premium gas: $2.09 per gallon

Then and Now

Scratch that notion that the more things change, the more they stay the same. The more they change, the more they change. Consider: American Graffiti vs. The Fast and the Furious.

American Graffiti     The Fast and the Furious

From the August 2-8, 2001 issue of the Northern California Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Open Mic

0

Building Blots

By C.D. Payne

HOW DO YOU FIND the school of architecture at American universities? Simple. Just look for the ugliest building on campus and there you are. I’m not sure when architecture in this country hit the downside of the roller coaster (1945? 1960?), but all around us is evidence that the decline is accelerating. From garish McMansions along the ridgetops, to sprawling tract developments, to the latest asphalt-girdled strip malls and big-box stores, the landscape is disappearing under a sea of instant eyesores.

Developers face so much opposition these days because the public cynically (and, alas, rightfully) assumes that what is being proposed is more of the same visual blight.

Two recent developments in Sebastopol illustrate this trend.

On the south end of town, a hill was bulldozed to make way for a grotesque barn of a hotel, planted cheek to jowl with a warren of ersatz Victorians overlooking the hotel’s parking lot. Now the last remaining open space on the property is being filled with what looks like military housing.

On the other end of town, an old apple orchard has given way to a ski chalet run amuck–apparently designed as a showcase for acres of black-asphalt roofing shingles. One can only wonder if the architect designed those stupendous, steeply raked, and in-your-face gables to shed Sonoma County’s anticipated winter snow loads.

The same aesthetic myopia has struck our home builders.

Once houses for the affluent (and the less affluent) aspired to a certain sober dignity. Now Las Vegas-style grandiosity is the name of the game, as cheap truss-framed roofs convolute crazily, windows of all shapes and sizes multiply at random in the facade, faux Greco-Roman porticos rise from spindly 4x4s, and ceilings reach heights formerly considered appropriate only for airport terminals. All that’s lacking is a whooping slot machine in the “great room.” Welcome to your local developer’s vision of the good life in Sonoma County circa 2001.

Thousands of new homes and buildings will be going up here in the next few years. How many of them will add to the beauty and quality of life of Sonoma County? Is anyone asking that question–say, for instance, the Rohnert Park city officials now hustling through the proposed new Costco?

Ah, yes, yet another architectural gem to look forward to.

C. D. Payne, a Sebastopol resident and author of the Nick Twisp novels and other books, has strong opinions about the structure of things.

From the August 2-8, 2001 issue of the Northern California Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Kenneth Cleaver

Consumer Correspondent

Wonderbra Attn: Customer Service P.O. Box 5100 Winston-Salem, NC 27113-5100

Dear Wonderbra:

Getting to know my girlfriend was a short road to her underwear drawer. What I have found there should be of use to your business and hopefully curtail the inevitable turbulence that comes with most new relationships.

I happened to notice that her not infrequent mood swings coincide with the donning of three different Wonderbras. Sifting through her arsenal, I notice that with other bra manufacturers she was consistently a C cup, while Wonderbra ranked her only a B. While breast size cannot explain mood swings and should in no way affect self-esteem, social standards of aesthetics too often transcend common sense. Witness the proliferation of Access Hollywood and Katie Couric.

Perhaps this appears ridiculous, but I truly believe my girlfriend merits a C cup. And it is not just because she’s a beautiful, intelligent, and delicious human being. Out of respect for her, I cannot stoop to the descriptive prose necessary to describe her breasts. Trust that my request is not fueled from the fires of locker-room badinage or simple perversion, but astute observation and analysis; we have been together for almost three months!

I hope you will investigate the parameters of your sizes and consider “upgrading” my significant other. She is not aware of this correspondence, as my plan is to secretly swap her B’s for C’s upon Wonderbra’s implementation of my plan. Please keep me informed, and I will do the same.

Sincerely, Kenneth Cleaver

Dear Mr. Cleaver:

Thank you for contacting our Consumer Service Department. We are always glad to hear from our consumers and welcome the opportunity to address any questions or concerns you may have regarding our products.

Thank you for taking time out of your schedule to share your thoughts, which have been noted.

Please find enclosed the self-addressed stamped envelop that was enclosed with your correspondence.

Should you need further assistance, please call our Consumer Services’ toll-free number, 1-800-225-4872.

Sincerely,

Katrina Gray Consumer Services

From the August 2-8, 2001 issue of the Northern California Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Kenneth Cleaver

Consumer Correspondent

Federal Bureau of Investigation J. Edgar Hoover Building 935 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW Washington, D.C. 20535-0001

Dear FBI:

I am currently deep in pursuit of a delicious graduate student who considers herself subversive. Frankly, I have never understood the academic Marxist. They just can’t understand that the bourgeoisie will only tremble upon threat of having to read one of their interminable treatises. Common sense aside, I am in love and have been trying, with little success, to ingratiate myself with this woman through the following seditious behavior:

* Repeated violation of Starbucks’ “customers only” bathroom policy

* Abstinence from Hooters

* Viewing all the films of Susan Sarandon

* Public library membership

Rather than perform a radical stunt, I thought I might enlist your services. Might you create one of your famous dossiers chronicling my “career” as an insurgent? Perhaps more effective would be to stage a shakedown with a couple of your most intimidating agents. For her to witness me enduring state repression would do much for my plight without causing any threat to the global marketplace.

Recognizing that it is not good form to conceive a relationship through deceit, I ultimately feel that these actions are necessary and that history will render them “sweet,” possibly even “romantic.” I know that I am not cut out for the enemy-of-state lifestyle, but I am indeed suited for this woman.

Sincerely, Kenneth H. Cleaver

Dear Correspondent:

Because of current budget cuts and the large volume of mail received by the FBI, our resources will not permit us to individually answer each communication we receive. We have personally reviewed your communication, however, and have determined that it falls within . . . the following categories:

No violation within the investigative jurisdiction of the FBI was identified.

Your material is being returned as it may be of further use to you.

John E. Collingwood Assistant Director Office of Public and Congressional Affairs

From the July 26-August 1, 2001 issue of the Northern California Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Sonoma Museum of Visual Art’s Burning Man Exhibit

0

Local Commotion

By Marina Wolf

Like the wild art party that inspires it, the exhibit of Burning Man art at the Sonoma Museum of Visual Art is a little disconcerting. It transplants art created for the desert to a green lawn next to the hum and blur of Highway 101. It also strips away the debauchery, leaving works that are both challenging and . . . family friendly?

“This is out in community space,” acknowledges Gay Shelton, director of SMOVA, which is showing six works from Burning Man through July 28. “That community is a different community than Burning Man, and different from museum community. How do you create an intersection for these communities? That’s what this show attempts to do.”

In addition to a G-rating, Shelton and co-curator Sarah Stoller selected for aesthetic values and craftsmanship. But most important, they sought the Burning Man essence: participation. “As an artist, I don’t think you’ll ever get as good an audience as you get at Burning Man,” Shelton says, strolling past Byron Chell’s giant welded Playa Bells. “At an art show or museum, people kind of expect to go in and have it given to them. At Burning Man people expect to complete the piece.”

SMOVA’s Burning Man show–sponsored by the Northern California Bohemian–is the museum’s first totally outdoor exhibit, and a possible prototype for future Burning Man art exhibits outside the borders of Nevada’s Black Rock City. But Shelton is careful to specify that the event is not Burning Man.

“It’s not intended to be Burning Man,” says Shelton, who first visited Burning Man herself last year. “We simply wanted to create a container for this interactive art activity and bring it into the world. A lot of people are never going to go to Burning Man, but they can take a real ride on these works.”

SMOVA’s Burning Man Ignition Party takes place Saturday, July 28, from 6 to 11 p.m. The no-alcohol, family-oriented festivities include drumming, fire and snake dancing, and excerpts from the fire opera Prometheus’ Revenge. Admission is $10; people in costumes get in free. For exhibit info, call 707/527-0297.

From the July 26-August 1, 2001 issue of the Northern California Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Spins

0

MJQ reissues are timeless classics

By Greg Cahill

The Modern Jazz Quartet European Concert (Atlantic/Label M)

The Modern Jazz Quartet with Laurindo Almeida Collaboration (Atlantic/Label M)

In the past two years, death has silenced the phenomenal talent of three-quarters of the Modern Jazz Quartet, first drummer Connie Kay, then vibraphonist Milt Jackson, and most recently, pianist John Lewis. Their passing, after 50 years of creating some of the most influential and vibrant music of the jazz era, makes the reissue of these two classic albums all the more notable.

During the 1950s, when Miles Davis and John Coltrane were exploring the fringes of jazz with a sound that many found too demanding, MJQ lured listeners with a more structured approach that nonetheless required the group’s members reach new levels of improvisation. It’s a real blessing to have these albums, particularly the digitally remastered European Concert, recorded in Scandinavia in 1960 and considered by many to be MJQ’s finest recording. Despite the formality, the result is often soothing–as on Lewis’ composition “Vendome”–or hitting a hipster groove, as with the Hilton original “The Cylinder.” Ultimately, as these albums prove, their music was graceful, sometimes even delicate, frequently beautiful, and always stimulating, drifting on the ethereal sonics of Jackson’s peerless vibes playing.

Collaboration is less satisfying, though there are many fine moments and the album overall is an interesting melding of two cultures. It marked the first time that MJQ had worked with Brazilian guitarist Almeida–then a budding twentysomething wunderkind–and was recorded in 1964 at RCA’s Webster Hall in New York City. The project, originally intended for a performance at the 1963 Monterey Jazz Festival, is noteworthy because it moves beyond the bossa nova craze of that period to encompass a broad range of styles and compositions, from Bach’s “Fugue in A Minor” to Antonio Carlos Jobim’s “One Note Samba” to a trio of Lewis jazz compositions.

Kudos to Label M chief executive and former Atlantic producer Joel Dorn for doggedly pursuing the licensing for these two welcomed reissues.

From the July 26-August 1, 2001 issue of the Northern California Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Open Mic

0

Open Mic

Flower Power

SINCE I FIRST HEARD the news last week–a short, sad radio report announcing that activist and folksinger Mimi Farina had died of cancer at age 56–my mind has been drifting back, at odd moments, to the brief but unforgettable conversation I once had with the groundbreaking founder of Bread & Roses, the organization that brings music into the lives of prisoners and other people cut off from the mainstream of society.

It was January 1996. I’d called the Bread & Roses offices in Mill Valley to invite Farina to see the film Dead Man Walking, a true-life story about Sister Helen Prejean and her controversial friendship with a convicted killer marked for execution. The invitation was part of my ongoing project, a collection of taped conversations with interesting individuals, responding to the emotions and ideas within challenging movies. Farina graciously accepted.

After the film–through which she cried, openly–we took a walk along the streets of Mill Valley. Farina was determined to come up with an explanation for why people like Prejean–and herself–would turn their lives to the needs of others.

“When I look at the whole work of Bread & Roses–performing for convicts in prison, seniors who are isolated, children in kids’ wards who may never come back out again–I realize it comes from my deep, deep need to try and make some sort of community for them. Sister Helen does it by bringing them a sense of God,” she said. “I do it by bringing them music.”

“But what do you get out of it?” I asked.

“It’s not that tangible,” she replied, with a sigh. “It’s not the money, certainly. Bread & Roses is not driven by the bottom line.” She continued walking, musing silently before adding, “I think it’s just so I can rest within myself, within my soul. Also, sometimes, I know it’s so I have a place to be, that I’m proud of. And literally a place to go during the day, a place that I’ve created and that is meaningful to me.”

At that point she stopped. Smiling an enormous, face-brightening smile, Farina laughed. “Oh, I don’t know why I do this. And I’ve just decided that it doesn’t matter. Sister Helen says she didn’t know why she was doing what she did–and neither do I.

“I’m just thankful, so thankful, that I get to do it at all.”

From the July 26-August 1, 2001 issue of the Northern California Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

‘Startup.com’

Dotcom Dash

Flick traces rise and fall of website

By

EVEN IF YOU HATE dotcommers, you’ll love Startup.com, an intimate, harrowing documentary about the boom and bust of govWorks.com. In a way, it’s a two-character drama about govWorks.com’s founders: the hard-charging Kaleil Isaza Tuzman and his quieter pal from childhood, Thomas Herman, a reticent beta-male seemingly better with the technical side of affairs.

The film’s subjects are so closely observed, so open to the unobtrusive camera, that you soon forget they’re not actors. Co-director Jehane Noujaim was the college roommate of aggro but weirdly teddy-bearish Tuzman, and their friendship must count for the remarkable access the filmmakers had to the birth and death of this business. Tuzman is a supremely confident bodybuilder who tells his assembled employees that he never loses a fight (though we see him praying to Krishna when no one is looking except the camera).

Noujaim and directing partner Chris Hegedus, interviewed during their visit to the San Francisco International Film Festival, claimed that neither of them knew how long the dotcom roller-coaster ride would be.

“We thought they’d hit the IPO in six months,” Noujaim said, “and that we’d be following them to exotic places and swimming pools. But the first six months went by, and there we still were.”

The two filmmakers boiled down 400 hours of footage into about two hours. Far from being a round of parties and perks, the film shows the hours of work and desperation, the pale faces at the terminals. And we’re cheated of the sense of hubris coming home; govWorks.com does sound like a viable site. At least it sold something worthwhile–better access to city governments. Hegedus put it crisply, “It wasn’t Gesundheit.com.”

Eventually, Herman de-cides to blow off a mandatory weekend of work to visit his daughter (he’s apparently divorced). From Kaleil’s reaction, we see that this absence signals the growing wedge between them. Soon Herman is pushed to the quit-or-be-fired point.

The endgame scenes at govWorks.com are especially brutal. Herman, sick and shaken, looks like Death dressed down for casual Friday. (He wears a rainbow-colored sweatband on his skinny arm. The wristlet looks like someone’s perk-up gift to a terminal patient.)

GovWorks.com hired and fired more than 100 people at its offices in New York and Burlingame. Its peak burn rate was a million dollars a month. However, Startup.com makes the breakup of the partnership between Kaleil and Herman seem like the hugest loss of all.

Startup.com, like the similarly themed but radically different The Center of the World, serves as a kind of obituary for a manic era. It was a time that affected everyone in the Bay Area–those who rose with the tide and those who simply drowned. Sometimes even the filmmakers were surprised at the local hostility–Hegedus often faced difficulty getting labor from San Francisco: “People told me, ‘I’m not sure I want to film dotcommers,’ ” he has noted

Admittedly the dotcommers were straw men and women who took the blame for the gouging by opportunistic merchants and landlords. And they did bring jobs to California.

Yeah, so did the conquistadors. But watching both Herman’s vulnerability and Tuzman’s bluff front allows one to feel something novel–a sense of sympathy for the absurd grandness of a dream stretched out in the dust today.

‘Startup.com’ screens at Rialto Cinemas Lakeside, |551 Summerfield Road, Santa Rosa. For details, see , or call 707/525-4840.

From the July 26-August 1, 2001 issue of the Northern California Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Burning Man

0

Revel without a Cause

Blinded by brilliant chaos at Burning Man

By Marina Wolf

IT WAS MY FIRST night behind the counter at the all-night cafe. In three short hours I had seen a lot, but not enough to prepare me for the blonde man’s simple question. “Will you give me a latte if I stick this steak knife up my nose?”

That’s the kind of place it is, the cafe at the center of Burning Man, the now-legendary outsider arts romp and bonfire that pitches camp in Black Rock Desert, Nev., every summer. In 1999, my first year, I worked at the cafe in exchange for my ticket. It was a matter of finances. But the cafe quickly became my benchmark for craziness amid the brilliant chaos of Burning Man.

Like the time we were held up. The group blocked the counter, their faces masked by bandannas. “Taking money goes against the fundamental spirit of Burning Man,” yelled the leader at the line of bleary-eyed humanity that snaked out of the tent. “No money at Burning Man!”

The barrista, a laconic young man with fast hands and a slow smile, leaned over the counter. “What are your demands?”

The leader rambled on for a few minutes about liberating Black Rock City from the oppressive system of money-based monopoly, but then stopped and said, “We’ll come back tomorrow and perform on our unicycles if you give us a gallon of chai mix.” A jug of chai was passed across the counter, and the band of coffeehouse bandits melted away.

Burned Out? Has Burning Man sold out?

Local Commotion: SMOVA hosts an exhibit of Burning Man art.

The guerrilla girl was basically right: other than the admission fee, cafe drinks, and ice–which is sold to benefit neighboring towns–there is no commerce at Burning Man. But there are other ways to get what you need out here in the desert. One camp barters with pancake breakfasts, and its parameters for exchange are pretty loose. I watched one hungry gentleman wrestle with an inflatable sex doll for a short stack.

However you get your pancakes, Burning Man organizers are adamant on one point: no spectating. It bothered me mightily that first year. No matter how deftly I handed out change, I couldn’t delude myself that serving coffee was art. Then I saw my chance to break through the veil, a traveling bar that drew photographers like flies to a porta-potty. Clueless voyeurs were grabbed by a dominatrix and brought to face the tipsy tribunal. “SING, DANCE, OR DROP YOUR PANTS!” they roared. Hoping to avoid the humiliating prologue, I walked up to the hostess in leatherette and offered to sing “Happy Birthday to You” in Russian. In return I got a paper cup of vodka and cranberry juice and some weak applause. Didn’t matter. I had officially, through a megaphone, participated.

For this year’s festival (which starts Aug. 27), I’m hooking up with a woman from Southern California who’s creating a temple to the snake goddess, complete with snakes. Whatever. I just want to dance. The woman says choreographed performances are rare, and I think she’s right. Most of Burning Man is an unscripted, uncensored funhouse, full of flame twirlers and croquet lawns and titty bars and adult-sized teeter-totters.

OF ALL THE ARTS, sculpture and assemblage are best represented, with artists from around the world using anything from cow bones to scrap metal to state-of-the-art computer light displays. Everything manmade stands out as though in a spotlight; the desert is an excellent backdrop, blank and unblinking and dusty as hell.

Of course, it takes a lot of work to live and make art in the desert. Labyrinths and geodesic thunderdomes and espresso drinks for 30,000 people are incredibly labor-intensive enterprises. By necessity, Burning Man is an experiment in various levels of community and collaboration. With more than 70 volunteers, the cafe community is loose but lavish with perks: a clean porta-potty, free java, and even free ice from time to time. The ice man took a fancy to me; once, when I was fighting a sore throat, he gave me half of his mango. Now that’s community. Or maybe just lechery. I’m still not sure.

The mango was a rare treat. Fruit doesn’t last long in the desert; the hot wind sucks the juice out of everything. People dress for the heat differently. I went for total coverage (the drag queens next door called me Nanook of the Desert), in contrast to my friend, a naked, green-glittered cowboy who busted through every open outhouse door we passed and shot his special-effects ray gun at the people who forgot to lock behind themselves. “They won’t forget again,” he said, pushing back his hat and ambling on.

That’s about the only enforcement of law or public decency that I’ve seen at Burning Man. People have the right to be as flamboyantly foolish as they like here. Which brings me back to the man with the steak knife.

While the line behind him crowded around, he licked the blade of the knife, tilted his head back and slowly, carefully inserted the blade up his nose to the hilt. The crowd gasped, and I turned to my co-worker as the knife sniffer removed the knife and began flossing his nasal cavity through his mouth. “Give that man a latte,” I murmured. “Make it a triple.”

Burning Man runs from Aug. 27 to Sept. 3 at Black Rock Desert in Nevada. Tickets are now $200. For details, 415/TO-FLAME.

From the July 26-August 1, 2001 issue of the Northern California Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Riders in the Sky

0

Fair Play

Cowboy chaos from Riders in the Sky

CHAOS IS a cowboy’s best friend. At least it is if the cowboy is Ranger Doug, the guitar-strumming frontman for the Riders in the Sky, arguably America’s strangest assemblage of singing cowboys.

“Chaos,” proposes Ranger Doug, “is a lot more interesting–and theatrical–than are calmness and order. So I like a little chaos now and then.”

That explains a few things. Riders in the Sky have a well-earned reputation for wild live shows in which the unexpected can and does happen. These cowboys are chaos junkies.

Currently enjoying a surge in popularity because of their kitschy contributions to the Toy Story 2 soundtrack, the Nashville-based Riders are also celebrating their first Grammy, picked up for the spiffy spinoff CD Woody’s Roundup Featuring Riders in the Sky.

Together for 25 years, the team of Ranger Doug, Woody Paul, Too Slim–with the recent addition of Joey the Cow-Polka King–have won themselves a devoted audience. Fans are attracted to the group’s melodious western harmonies and the goofball cowboy-shtick they’ve built around original tunes like How the Yodel Was Born and such classics as Tumbling Tumbleweeds, Rawhide–and, of course, Ghost Riders in the Sky.

Riders in the Sky routinely perform in classy, predictable places like theaters and concert halls. But Ranger Doug admits that the band members’ need for unpredictability is what steers them toward doing so many outdoor shows at big county fairs.

“We like fairs,” Ranger Doug says, talking on the phone from Ojai, where they’ve just performed, “mainly because we like the atmosphere.

“Sure, you don’t have the kind of devoted attention you get in a theater show, where people have paid a hard ticket to see you, and they’re hanging on to your every word,” he continues. “But you gain all that wonderful activity, things going on all around you.”

As an example, he mentions a recent show at a fair in Placerville, where the Riders found themselves performing right next to a bungee-jumping attraction. “Regular as clockwork,” Ranger Doug recalls, “about the middle of every song, there was some new person up there going, ‘Oh, ah, oooh, ah . . . . AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!’ as they’d leap off and plummet through the air. . . . We see stuff like that as an opportunity. So we worked it into the act.”

Riders will be bringing a little of that patented cowboy chaos to the North Bay on Aug. 2, when the group performs at the Sonoma County Fair for the second time. “For a fair show, with a family audience, naturally we’re going to tone down the double-entendres a little,” Ranger Doug says. “But it’s not like the show’s laden with them anyway.”

Oh no? What about the time that Woody’s onstage science experiment–he electrified a dill pickle using two forks duct-taped to an extension cord–resulted in an escalating barrage of fried-pickle jokes? “Gettin’ your pickle fried on a Saturday night,” observed Too Slim. “Now that’s the Cowboy Way!”

The episode culminated in the spontaneous onstage appearance of a woman who sagaciously sucked a large dill pickle while Ranger Doug heroically attempted to finish the gentle love song he’d just begun.

“Well, yeah, there was that time,” Ranger Doug allows with a lengthy chuckle. “Sometimes we even surprise ourselves.”

There may be more surprises in store for the Riders. When animator Chuck Jones and Looneytoons.com launch the new Web-only cartoon series called Thomas T. Timberwolf, the group will be heard singing the cartoon’s bouncy theme song. Are the Riders poised to become the new Theme Song Kings?

“That’s not such a bad thing, is it?” Ranger Doug replies happily. “It wouldn’t break my heart.” At the very least, it might pack the fair audiences with chaos-loving cartoon fans.

“And that,” says Ranger Doug, “can only be good for the show.”

Riders in the Sky perform Thursday, Aug. 2, at 6 and 8 p.m. at the Sonoma County Fairgrounds, 1350 Bennett Valley Road, Santa Rosa. Free with fair admission; reserved seats are $7. 707/545-4200.

From the July 26-August 1, 2001 issue of the Northern California Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Street Racing

Full Throttle Age-old problem of street racing gets a new look By Christian M. Chensvold THIS IS NOT your father's Oldsmobile. This is a sporty Toyota Supra modified with a sequential, twin-turbocharged 3.0L DOHC 24-valve EFI inline-six, an air-to-air intercooler with 720cc injectors, and a titanium cat-back exhaust. ...

Open Mic

Building Blots By C.D. Payne HOW DO YOU FIND the school of architecture at American universities? Simple. Just look for the ugliest building on campus and there you are. I'm not sure when architecture in this country hit the downside of the roller coaster (1945? 1960?), but all around us is evidence that the...

Kenneth Cleaver

Consumer Correspondent Wonderbra Attn: Customer Service P.O. Box 5100 Winston-Salem, NC 27113-5100 Dear Wonderbra: Getting to know my girlfriend was a short road to her underwear drawer. What I have found there should be of use to your business and hopefully curtail the inevitable turbulence that comes...

Kenneth Cleaver

Consumer Correspondent Federal Bureau of Investigation J. Edgar Hoover Building 935 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW Washington, D.C. 20535-0001 Dear FBI: I am currently deep in pursuit of a delicious graduate student who considers herself subversive. Frankly, I have never understood the academic Marxist. They just can't understand that the bourgeoisie will only tremble upon...

Sonoma Museum of Visual Art’s Burning Man Exhibit

Local Commotion By Marina Wolf Like the wild art party that inspires it, the exhibit of Burning Man art at the Sonoma Museum of Visual Art is a little disconcerting. It transplants art created for the desert to a green lawn next to the hum and blur of Highway 101. It also strips...

Spins

MJQ reissues are timeless classics By Greg Cahill The Modern Jazz Quartet European Concert (Atlantic/Label M) The Modern Jazz Quartet with Laurindo Almeida Collaboration (Atlantic/Label M) In the past two years, death has silenced the phenomenal talent of three-quarters of the Modern Jazz...

Open Mic

Open Mic Flower Power SINCE I FIRST HEARD the news last week--a short, sad radio report announcing that activist and folksinger Mimi Farina had died of cancer at age 56--my mind has been drifting back, at odd moments, to the brief but unforgettable conversation I once had with the groundbreaking...

‘Startup.com’

Dotcom Dash Flick traces rise and fall of website By EVEN IF YOU HATE dotcommers, you'll love Startup.com, an intimate, harrowing documentary about the boom and bust of govWorks.com. In a way, it's a two-character drama about govWorks.com's founders: the hard-charging Kaleil Isaza Tuzman and his quieter...

Burning Man

Revel without a Cause Blinded by brilliant chaos at Burning Man By Marina Wolf IT WAS MY FIRST night behind the counter at the all-night cafe. In three short hours I had seen a lot, but not enough to prepare me for the blonde man's simple question. "Will you give me...

Riders in the Sky

Fair Play Cowboy chaos from Riders in the Sky CHAOS IS a cowboy's best friend. At least it is if the cowboy is Ranger Doug, the guitar-strumming frontman for the Riders in the Sky, arguably America's strangest assemblage of singing cowboys. "Chaos," proposes Ranger Doug, "is a...
11,084FansLike
4,606FollowersFollow
6,928FollowersFollow