Persimmons

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First Bitten: The beautiful persimmon, that most fickle of fruits, pays off if you give it a chance.

The Waiting Game

Persimmons pay off for those who are patient

By Sara Bir

Persimmons are a cult fruit. It’s no small wonder, since they are wily, confounding things, too exotic to secure a prominent spot in Safeway’s produce section but common enough to fall in abundance from trees in our front yards.

Last year, my persimmon supply was cut off when I left my old job. Someone there had a persimmon tree and would bring in paper grocery sacks tearing under the strain of the tree’s generosity–for just as baseball-bat-sized zucchini become the gardener’s albatross in the summer, an intimidatingly hearty growing colony of persimmons descends in the fall upon those with a persimmon tree. The bags would go into the break room, where people would glance at the glossy orbs apprehensively and say, “Hey, aren’t those things the fruit that tastes like felt?”

And the answer is yes: a bite into the spiteful flesh of an underripe persimmon is indeed like sucking on a huge ball of felt or a mouthful of emery boards or a wad of soggy tea bags. A roly-poly and supple ripe persimmon is another creature altogether, though, transforming what was a shudder-inducing experience into a seductive seasonal obsession.

Persimmons are indigenous to America and were the first of native American fruits to be described by the early explorers. This variety–Diospyros virginiana–the Native Americans called putchamin, pasiminan, or pessamin. Walnut-sized and wild, these persimmons are not fully ripe until they fall off the tree, and they are highly coveted in the Midwest. Sadly, the little Diospyros virginianas are rarely seen west of eastern Kansas, and we cannot partake in the joys of the wild persimmons Native Americans used to dry and bake into loaves.

The two types of persimmons grown commercially here in California are both of the species Diospyros kaki, and were introduced here from Japan, though they originated in China. Fuyus are squat, smallish, yellow-orange, and can be enjoyed while still firm, making them much better suited for commercial farming, because they can be sold fully ripe without turning into a bruised, squishy pile of goo. Fuyus have a meaty flesh and mangolike flavor, and fare well sliced in both savory and fruit salads. In Japan, where they are prized, fuyus are sometimes served cold with the skin peeled back, topped with sake.

Hachiyas are, here in Northern California, the variety commonly growing in our backyards. Flame-orange and shiny with an elongated shape that tapers at the end, hachiyas have a sculptural beauty that’s perfect for still lifes or decorative fruit bowls. Because of the “felt factor,” though, people often fear crossing beyond this admiration from a distance. Hachiyas can blame their bad reputation on the highly astringent level of tannic acid (the same thing that makes red wine chalky) they have when underripe, but as the fruit itself softens, so do the tannins, and suddenly hachiyas become a different thing altogether.

A fully ripe hachiya persimmon is supple and yielding, like a breast, and the skin takes on a translucent hue. This is the time to get into the marmalade-like pulp inside. The easiest way is to cut the clean persimmon in half and, holding the fruit over a bowl, scoop out the flesh with your fingers (it’s messy, yes, but what good thing isn’t?).

Ripe persimmons, which can take up to a month to ripen in the first place, don’t like to wait. Either eat them right at this point–by cutting off the top and digging in with a spoon for Mother Nature’s jello cup–or remove the pulp for use in recipes.

Persimmons are very stubborn, and a group of them will often refuse to all ripen in one convenient bunch. If they ripen at different rates, you can freeze their pulp, persimmon by persimmon, to make a stash of purée for a pudding or cake. You can also pop whole ripe persimmons into the freezer to deal with at your leisure (this, by the way, makes an instant sorbet; peel back the skin to reveal a simple and divine single-serving treat).

For those of us with no persimmon tree (or persimmon-laden neighbors), hachiyas can be found at farmers markets and seasonally at some grocery stores from October to December. Look for bright orange fruit with no yellow patches (this indicates they were picked before maturity) and no breaks in the skin. Store them at room temperature; persimmons stored in the refrigerator deteriorate faster.

To expedite the ripening of hachiyas, place them in a paper bag with an apple or banana, fold the top down, and check in every day. There are those who advocate freezing and then thawing whole persimmons to ripen the fruit quickly, and although it does soften their texture, I have found it does not alter the astringency of their flesh.

The best strategy is to be patient.

Accumulated thusly, persimmon pulp is like gold, so use it wisely but not sparingly. The stuff is wonderfully versatile. As is, stir it into plain yogurt, blend it into smoothies, or whisk a tablespoon or so into salad dressings. The ripe fruit’s gelatinous quality lends itself beautifully to old-fashioned, elaborate molded gelatin desserts. Baking, however, best capitalizes persimmons’ sticky sweetness. Cakes, cookies, and custards turn out redolent with an autumnal, fruited heaviness that no other fruit can impart.

Persimmon pudding, a seasonal favorite, has attached itself to the hearts of many with its dense, brownielike intensity and velvety, custardy texture. With an unassuming simplicity that’s definitive of the most appealing American desserts, there is truly nothing quite like it, and it remains an underrated classic that could easily hold its own against any perfectly executed pumpkin pie.

It makes a fine addition to a Thanksgiving dessert spread, and it requires no fooling around with pastry, so it comes together remarkably quickly. Only plan ahead: to have enough persimmon pulp for a Thanksgiving pudding, you’ll have to start gathering persimmons now. Their ripeness may be elusive, but it’s rewarding.

Persimmon Pudding

This is based on Eva Powell’s recipe from the December 2000 issue of Saveur magazine. It’s fairly rich and serves eight to 10. Kept wrapped at room temperature, it keeps for about five days.

4 tbsp. butter, melted 1 1/2 c. all-purpose flour 1 tsp. baking powder 1/2 tsp. cinnamon 1/4 tsp. salt 2 c. puréed persimmon pulp 2 c. granulated sugar 2 large eggs 1 1/2 c. buttermilk 1/4 c. heavy cream

1. Heat oven to 350 degrees and position the rack in the lower third of the oven.

2. Grease a 9 by 13 inch baking dish with 1 tablespoon of the butter; set aside.

3. In a medium bowl, whisk together flour, baking powder, cinnamon, and salt. Set aside.

4. Beat persimmon pulp and sugar in a large bowl until well combined. Beat in eggs one at a time. Stir baking soda into buttermilk and add to pulp mixture; beat in heavy cream.

In three additions, add dry ingredients to pulp mixture, combining well but taking care not to over mix. Stir in remaining 3 tablespoons butter. The batter will be a lovely blushing salmon color, and its texture will be just barely foamy.

5. Pour batter into pan and bake about an hour, until a skewer inserted in the middle comes out clean. (The edges of the pudding will rise up and turn a deep amber; the rest will be sunken, with a shiny top, and the very center will still jiggle a teeny bit.)

Cool before serving. Garnish with whipped cream and a sprinkling of finely chopped walnuts or pecans if you are so inclined. Try whipped crème fraîche and a scattering of pomegranate seeds for a highly untraditional but lovely garnish that perfectly offsets the cloying sweetness of the pudding.

From the November 7-13, 2002 issue of the North Bay Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Temporary Aid to Needy Families

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Power of the Pen: Hannah Schoenbech, a co-facilitator for the AFDC writing group, gives voice to her experiences.

Writing Wrongs

Welfare moms learn to tell it like it is

By Tara Treasurefield

“What do you do when you turn on the light in the middle of the night and see a sink full of cockroaches–and know you won’t have a place to live at all if you complain to the landlord or anyone else?”

An important question to ask, says Margie Alexander, who had the cockroach experience when she was raising her children in dire poverty. (To protect her privacy, we have changed her name.) A former welfare mom, Alexander is a “graduate” of Aid to Families with Dependent Children (now called Temporary Aid to Needy Families). Against overwhelming odds, she got herself and her children through that terrible time and is now fully self-supporting as a registered nurse.

But Margie Alexander is not about to forget where she came from. She’s on a crusade to help women who suffer as she once did. To that end, she’s inviting former AFDC moms, and current TANF moms, to meet each month for a year to write a book of their experiences, wisdom, and suggestions. Her intention is to publicize the harsh realities of being a mother on welfare. Along the way, she expects a clear picture of what it takes to achieve self-sufficiency to emerge. Alexander believes that this book will inspire the women who read it by letting them know that it is possible to climb out of poverty.

That’s not to say it’s easy. “[TANF] is the last level of survival for the poor,” says Alexander. “There are problems unique to people in these situations that really need to be addressed. . . . Women who live in the worst neighborhoods are surrounded by people who are predators, and they have no way to get out of it. It’s an ongoing struggle for women at the bottom level of poverty. The things that we do all the time that are part of our normal life are luxuries in impoverished neighborhoods.”

One of TANF’s many tools used in assisting the impoverished is the requirement that the able-bodied among them participate in Sonoma Works, a county program that offers classes in résumé writing, interviewing, and other job-hunting skills. Jerry Dunn, division director of employment and training for the Sonoma County Human Services Department, says that approximately 2,400 families in Sonoma County are currently enrolled in TANF. In fiscal year 2000-2001, Sonoma Works placed 988 people in jobs that paid an average of $8.78 an hour, and 31 percent of those who have left the program now exceed the county standard for self-sufficiency.

Impressive as this is, it still means that 69 percent are not self-sufficient. What’s more, says Johnetta Dedrick, program coordinator at Sonoma County People for Economic Opportunity, many welfare mothers who come to SCPEO do find work, and some earn as much as $14 an hour. However, that’s not enough to support a family. “The only way they’re going to make it is if they’re in subsidized housing,” she says.

In addition to the job-hunting requirement, TANF also sets a 60-month lifetime limit on aid for the parents in a family. “The net impact is that the grant is reduced [after 60 months],” says Dunn. “California is one of the few states where the children continue to be aided. In many states, the whole family is ineligible.”

Under any circumstances, TANF grants are meager. For a family of three, the amount is $728 a month if the recipient is unable to work and $679 a month if the recipient is able to work. A family of three with a monthly income of $1,500 earns too much to qualify for a TANF grant.

How do women on TANF manage to support their children? “Barely,” says Dedrick. “In our program, they can support them because we provide transitional housing and we hook them up with all kinds of other services in the community that subsidize their food, family connection programs, and other agencies. We provide housing and refer out for other needs.”

But even SCPEO can’t always help, says Dedrick. “We’re considering bringing a woman in whose income is $495 from TANF, but in our housing complex, the cost of a one-bedroom apartment is $475. To move her in and move her out in a month because she can’t afford it is a setup for failure.”

Margie Alexander and yoga teacher Hannah Schoenbech, Alexander’s co-facilitator for the writing group, don’t pretend that writing will solve all the problems that confront welfare moms. But they do expect it to help.

“There have been times in my life when I have not felt empowered,” says Schoenbech. “I want to give as many women as possible the opportunity to feel empowered. I found for myself that it helps me find my strength when I can either write or voice my experiences and what I have learned from them.

“I also think our book will be tremendously helpful to other women when it’s published, because it will help them find their own strength.”

Mothers can also help each other in very direct ways, says Alexander. “There have been times when I couldn’t fight for myself. But I’ve always been able to speak up for other people. In an apartment complex that I once lived in, one of my Hispanic neighbors was pregnant with her third child. When I learned that she had been washing dishes in the bathtub for two months because the manager refused to fix her kitchen sink, I confronted the manager. He still refused to do anything about it, so I called La Luz [Hispanic family service center in Sonoma]. La Luz made one phone call to the manager. Two days later, the sink was fixed.

“When there’s something you can do about a perceived wrong, you have a responsibility to do it. You can’t just walk past something. If you see something wrong and you have any ability to improve it, you have an obligation to improve it.”

The AFDC/TANF writing group is free of charge. For more information, please call 707.251.0217 or send an e-mail message to af******@*ol.com. The location of future meetings of the writing group depends on the location of interested parties.

From the November 7-13, 2002 issue of the North Bay Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Phoenix Theater

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Sound the Alarm

The Phoenix may never be the same

By Sara Bir

Weird! Wild! Wonderful! Weird again! Crazy, vibrant, and energetic bands play the Phoenix Theatre all of the time, but it is highly unlikely that the honorable yet weathered walls of Petaluma’s crusty punk emporium have yet housed a lineup as contrarian, volatile, and daring as the Rum Diary, Oxbow, and the Drop Science. With Oxbow’s confrontational theatrics, the Rum Diary’s lush dreamscapes, and the Drop Science’s nightmare scenarios, the audience won’t know whether to sit, stand, or run. It should make for a bumpy ride and a highly entertaining evening.

Cotati’s own Rum Diary (yes, named for the Hunter S. Thompson novel), aka the Cotati Sound Machine, are based out of a house off the Gravenstein Highway that’s full of sagging sofas and empty Olympia cans. They all met while attending Sonoma State University in the mid ’90s and have been playing together since 2000.

The Rum Diary’s music is not well-suited for impatient people. It builds slowly upon itself in layers of melodic bass, moog organ squiggles, drawn-out stretches of guitar feedback, and dual drumming. The band’s recently released EP, A Key to Slow Time, finds their songs reaching new planes of subtlety, creating arcs that curve from slow-motion tension to soothing resolution, all in one drawn-out transition. Some people call this kind of stuff space rock, and it is indeed conducive to leaving your head for a while, just to sit and listen–really listen.

It will be a big change of gear from Oxbow, a band that sounds the way it feels to turn over a smooth, clean rock in the woods and see all the millipedes, rotting leaves, and maggots underneath. Frontman Eugene Robinson’s vocals twist and screech incomprehensibly from yelps to screams to wails against a backwash of twitching guitars and tortured orchestral rumblings.

The Palo Alto band has been around for a dozen years or so, and they’ve built up a sizable European following that they will probably never achieve here in the States–Oxbow’s music is just too uncompromising and experimental. An Evil Heat, their latest album, rings with themes of sexual compulsion and religious implications of guilt.

Onstage, Robinson’s been known to cover his ears with duct tape and strip down. It’s all part of Oxbow’s highly confrontational live show, which, though it can’t replicate all the intricacies–string sections, saxophones, and jazz, blues, and classical samples–of their recorded albums, still makes up for it with an incomparable element of insane intensity.

And if Oxbow’s shows are unpredictable, it’s not because the audience expects them to be; it’s because Oxbow would not have it any other way. This is a truly independent band, in that their music will always be highly inaccessible.

And in that, the Drop Science and Oxbow are kindred spirits. The Drop Science have an angular, discombobulating, and prog-as-fuck sound that shares little in common with San Diego-native indie kin like Pinback or the Black Heart Procession. With push-and-tug singsong vocal trade-offs, paranoid guitar lines, and subversively hypnotic, plodding bass, the Drop Science put on a riveting live show and are one of the few bands that really, truly sound like no one else.

Their brand-new sophomore full-length, Dies Tonight, has few songs that run below 10 minutes, which I guess is what you get from a band full of Yes fanatics. It’s not music you put on to study to.

So who knows what an all-ages Oxbow show with the Drop Science and the Rum Diary will turn out like. This is going to be nothing like the tried-and-true punk rock that Phoenix regulars are used to seeing. “I am honored to say that Petaluma will never be the same after this show,” claims Jon Fee of the Rum Diary. And while that is probably a stretch, he could be on to something.

The Rum Diary, Oxbow, and the Drop Science play at the Phoenix Theatre on Saturday, Nov. 9, with the Set Up in the lobby. 8pm. The Phoenix Theatre, 201 Washington St., Petaluma. $6. 707.762.3565.

From the November 7-13, 2002 issue of the North Bay Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

‘Frida’

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Renowned travel writer C.M Mayo on La Caza Azul, Trotsky’s ‘Death House,’ and other ‘haunted landmarks’ featured in ‘Frida’

Writer David Templeton takes interesting people to interesting movies in his ongoing quest for the ultimate postfilm conversation. This is not a review; rather, it’s a free-wheeling, tangential discussion of art, alternative ideas, and popular culture.

Down the street from the Bridge Theater in San Francisco, there is a tiny English pub called the Pig and Whistle. Visiting author Catherine Mayo–a Texas native who now resides in Mexico City–noticed the place earlier in the day and, she says, “I just can’t get over that name.” So it’s at the Pig and Whistle that we’ve landed for lunch, after catching an early matinee of the new movie Frida. Starring Salma Hayek and Alfred Molina, Frida is an ecstatically artsy biopic about the controversial Mexican painter Frida Kahlo and her scandal-plagued husband Diego Rivera.

Mayo liked it almost as much as she likes the words Pig and Whistle. “The film was brilliant,” she proclaims, as Frank Sinatra’s “Strangers in the Night” blares incongruously from the speaker above our heads (“Scooby-dooby-doo”) and plates of steaming fish-and-chips appear on the table before us. “Frida was a fabulous, wonderful film,” she says, “one of the best I’ve seen in years.”

Mayo is the editor of Tameme, an annual bilingual journal of new writing from North America. She is the author of Sky Over El Nido (Winner of the 1995 Flannery O’Connor Award for short fiction) and a brand-new collection of travel essays: Miraculous Air: Journey of a Thousand Miles Through Baja California, the Other Mexico (University of Utah Press, $24.95). For Mayo, today’s film was made all the more real by the fact that she’s a frequent visitor to the house where Frida Kahlo died in 1954. Known as La Caza Azul (The Blue House), Kahlo’s home–now a popular landmark and tourist attraction–is literally around the corner from Mayo’s own home, and, as a writer known for her fondness of those tiny, sharply observed details that create an authentic and tangibly visceral sense of place, it is no surprise that she is attracted to the distinctive vibe of Frida Kahlo’s house.

“When you are in Frida’s house, you really do get the feeling, the sense of Frida’s life,” she says. “It looks just like in the movie–the shocking cobalt blue of the walls, all the big papier mache jiguses standing around. You feel a lot of life there, a lot of personality, and also a lot of sadness. And then you see her bed, with the mirror at the top of the bed so that she could paint her full-body self-portraits, even after she was too ill to stand. You really feel her presence all through the place.”

On a certain level, the movie Frida plays like an oddball travelogue of notable Mexico City spots with those aforementioned “distinctive vibes.” Such landmarks include the various homes of Kahlo and Rivera, especially the unique Twin Studios in San Angel, where the epically contentious couple lived from 1932 to 1939. “Those two little houses where they lived and worked–one painted red and one painted blue–really are connected by that little bridge,” says Mayo. “It’s an interesting metaphor for their lives, and it’s also just neat to see, very visually interesting, very modern.” Not so modern is the massive National Palace, where Rivera’s murals still survive. “The Palace was built on the ruins of an ancient Aztec site where they once performed human sacrifices,” she reports, “and parts of it still feel really creepy. Seriously creepy. People do claim to hear voices there late at night.”

Then there are the towering Pyramids of Teotihuacan, North of Mexico City, where Kahlo and Rivera–both of them devoted Marxists–once went day tripping with banished Russian philosopher Leon Trotsky (played in the film by Geoffrey Rush), whose turbulent life ended in Mexico City.

“It feels great to be up there on top of those pyramids,” says Mayo. “I completely believe that Trotsky would say that he felt fabulous being up there. Though when I went there the first time–and it’s a long, steep way to the top–there was this guy up there, trying to sell me this little Onyx carving he said he’d found under a bush. Yeah, right. My gut sense is that when Trotsky and Frida Kahlo went there, the same guy–or maybe the great grandfather of the guy–was up there waiting to sell them something.”

Also depicted in the film is a place Mayo describes as simply “dripping with presence”: the room in which Trotsky was murdered, smashed in the head by an assassin with an ice pick. “The house where he lived was walking distance from Frida’s house,” Mayo says, “and the office where he was working, at his desk, when he was killed, you can walk in there and see it–and it does feel . . . icky.”

Icky? That’s the official travel-writer word for it?

“That’s the only word for it,” Mayo laughs. “It’s small and it’s dark–it’s icky. Even if you didn’t know someone was murdered in that room, you’d still get a bad feeling.”

Mayo’s advice, then, for those Frida-philes inspired enough by the movie to visit Mexico City in search of all these Kahlo-centric sites: if you do visit the Trotsky Death House, plan to follow it up with a brisk climb to the top of the Pyramids.

“Really,” she laughs, “You’ll feel so much better.”

Web extra to the November 7-13, 2002 issue of the North Bay Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

North Bay Music Scene

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Local Motion

North Bay music scene falls into place

By Greg Cahill

The reigning king and queen of North Bay bohemia–singer and songwriter Tom Waits and his wife and longtime collaborator Kathleen Brennan–received a rave review last week in the New York Times for their score to a new adaptation of Georg Büchner’s eccentric 19th-century play Woyzeck, running through Nov. 19 at the Harvey Theater of the Brooklyn Academy of Music. The play, which isn’t the first time Waits has teamed up with director and designer Robert Wilson, is a tale of jealous love cloaked in dark humor and German expressionism.

Earlier this year, Waits released songs from the play under the title Blood Money (originally titled Red Drum, which as every good Stephen King fan knows is “murder” spelled backwards), as one of a pair of CD releases (the other was Alice)–his first since 1999’s breakthrough recording Mule Variations. Blood Money‘s songs recount the plight of the fictional Woyzeck, a poor soldier driven mad by medical experiments and an unfaithful wife. The songs are best described as Tin Pan Alley meets the Weimar Republic, a dense, textured, rhythmic work replete with tarantellas, lullabies, and waltzes.

No word on when Woyzeck will be staged on the left coast or what those “crusty romantics,” as the New York Times has dubbed Waits and Brennan, will be up to next.

Star Power

The Blue Star Music Camp on the shores of Lake Michigan provides a week-long retreat for children ages nine to 18–including at-risk teens–to study music, songwriting, voice, drama, and dance. Longtime Marin County rocker Jimmy Dillon was so impressed by the program that he started a North Bay version with sessions in San Anselmo and Petaluma. And Dillon’s high-powered friends were so impressed with the concept that they agreed to help out.

As a result, the upcoming Blue Star Music Camp West auction and fundraiser will feature autographed Telecaster guitars donated by Keith Richards of the Rolling Stones and bluesman Robert Cray. “To say Blue Star Music Camp West is simply an avenue for youth to learn how to play an instrument is a gross understatement,” says Dillon, who has toured with the likes of Bob Dylan and Bruce Springsteen. “Blue Star Music Camp West offers young people an environment to explore self-expression, develop musical skills, and gain confidence through setting and achieving goals. As thrilling as it is to watch these young people enjoy their introduction to the arts, the real thrill is the knowledge of the intangibles the students will acquire.

“Confidence, increased self-esteem, empowerment, teamwork, pride, and a new form of personal expression are just some of what the students take away from their experience at Blue Star Music Camp West.”

Lucky bidders are going to take away a couple of star-powered Teles and a few tales to tell. The Blue Star Music Camp West fundraiser will be held Sunday, Nov. 16, at 8pm at Sweetwater Saloon, 153 Throckmorton Ave., Mill Valley. Tickets are $15. Call 415.388.2820 for details.

Hot Stuff

The cool autumn nights usually signal a chilling on the North Bay music scene. Not this year. Rather, the action around the region last weekend and in coming weeks seems to spell an auspicious start for the season.

On Friday, Joan Osborne served up a sultry show comprised largely of soul covers from her latest CD, How Sweet It Is, and with Ivan Neville of the New Orleans R&B dynasty on keyboards, it was sweet indeed. On Saturday, Eyes Adrift and Mike Watt rocked the house at New George’s (see story, page 33).

And there’s more to come. A second show has been added Nov. 15 for a headbanger’s ball featuring Y&T and Montrose at the Mystic Theatre. Post-punk rockabilly greats the Blasters, with the original lineup intact, return to that Petaluma venue on Nov. 30. Felix & Louie’s in Healdsburg hosts a Who’s Who of North Bay Jazz on Nov. 20 as the Khalil Shaheed Quartet lead an all-star jam marking the restaurant’s second anniversary of jazz concerts.

Meanwhile, look for British pub-rocker Dave Edmunds to shake things up at Sweetwater on Nov. 17, while Jazz is Dead–with fusion drummer Billy Cobham, Kenny Gradney (Little Feat) on bass, T. Lavitz (Wide Spread Panic, Dixie Dregs) on keyboards, Jeff Pevar (David Crosby, Phil Lesh & Friends) on guitar–should raise the roof of the tiny nightspot on Nov. 21 with their explorations of the music of the Grateful Dead.

From the November 7-13, 2002 issue of the North Bay Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Michael Moore

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Michael & Me

How I was stood up by Michael Moore but conducted an interview anyway

It’s not really Michael Moore’s fault. The cancellation of our interview, long scheduled to take place last week at the Ritz Carlton Hotel on Nob Hill in San Francisco, was clearly not due to any breach of faith on Mr. Moore’s part. I realize that. After all, Michael Moore has no control over the speed and reliability of the airline industry. He surely couldn’t have foreseen that his flight from L.A. to San Francisco would be delayed, forcing him to cancel dozens of interviews all up and down his daily planner. So nobody’s blaming him.

Sure, he may be a bestselling author (Downsize This!; Stupid White Men); an immensely popular filmmaker (Roger & Me; The Big One); a certified television grand fromage (The Awful Truth; TV Nation); and a world-class rabble-rouser who strikes fear in the hearts of conservatives and greedy capitalists all over the country, but he’s not God, right? He can’t do all that and be expected to show up for every one of his interviews. I understand completely.

After all, Michael Moore is a very busy man, with an important, high-profile new movie out, Bowling for Columbine–about guns and fear and violence in modern America–and it’s had him hopping all over the country doing important and probably fairly exhausting things.

Still, I prepared some really good questions for Michael Moore, and the editorial staff of the Bohemian was really counting on running this interview, so we’ve decided to follow Michael Moore’s own example when in Roger & Me he finished the movie despite the fact that its main subject–General Motors chairman Roger Smith–never actually showed up. Who needed him anyway?

In that spirit, we present the following insightful Q&A with Michael Moore–minus the input of Michael Moore.

David Templeton: Michael Moore, thanks for taking the time out of your busy schedule. Let’s begin. First, I gotta tell you, Bowling for Columbine is an extraordinary film. Wow! May I just say thank you for taking on the difficult and controversial subject of guns and violence in America, and for doing it in such a compassionate and consistently entertaining manner. Once again, thank you.

Michael Moore:

DT: As usual, the film is a tour de force, in which you travel the country, looking for answers about why Americans are so violent, fearful, and addicted to guns. Actually, you travel to more than one country, don’t you, since you do that bit in Canada where you open a bunch of people’s front doors without asking, just to prove that Canadians don’t lock their houses like Americans do.

Along the way, you talk to a bunch of really spooky people, like the social misfit in the video parlor who proudly describes making napalm in his kitchen, and James Nichols, the brother of Oklahoma City co-bomber Terry Nichols, who goes all weird and nutty and puts a gun to his head during your interview. And of course there’s Charlton Heston, who gave me the willies.

Tell me, after spending so much of your career chasing after corporate presidents and CEOs, were you ever frightened or fearful of your life while hanging out with such dangerous people?

MM:

DT: Personally, I don’t known what freaked me out more, the pool-side interview with Charlton Heston or the backstage chat with Marilyn Manson. On the one hand, it was pretty disturbing watching Heston sitting there like an angry deer in the headlights, repeatedly sputtering the words “Constitutional rights! Constitutional rights!” and “From my cold, dead hands!” while obviously wanting to break your neck with his own presumably still-kinda-warm hands.

On the other hand, I was simply not prepared to see Marilyn Manson, sitting there in his dressing room talking like a normal person. Man, that was scary! He still looked like himself, all monstered out with the one pale eye and the Frankenstein makeup, but when you ask him about the Columbine shootings–for which he’s been partially blamed, since the shooters, Eric Harris and Dylan Klebold, were Marilyn Manson fans–and what he’d say to the students who survived the massacre, he says, “I wouldn’t say anything. I’d listen to what they have to say. It doesn’t seem like anyone has been doing that.”

Who’d have guessed that the most compassionate, thoughtful, and sensible remarks of the movie would come from the mouth of Marilyn Manson?

MM:

DT: The Columbine massacre, obviously, was a major inspiration for the film. The title of the movie comes from the odd revelation that Harris and Klebold went bowling just before heading off to school to launch their shooting spree. You even make fun of those social critics who’ve blamed Manson’s music for the shootings by pointing out that since the killers went bowling right before the event, maybe bowling was the actual cause of the violent tragedy. You’re kidding of course, but it made me think: Who hasn’t gone bowling and wanted to kill someone before the goddamn game was over?

MM:

DT: One of the most moving parts of the film is the sequence where you meet the two Columbine survivors. One of them is now in a wheelchair, having been disabled in the shooting; the other has bullets still lodged in his body, one right near his heart. After discussing the fact that those bullets were purchased at a Kmart store, you accompany the boys to the Kmart main headquarters, in Michigan, where the guys attempt to “return the merchandise.” You pointedly ask them to put an end to the sale of automatic weapons ammo.

The next day, a Kmart VIP shows up to announce that the chain will discontinue the selling of all ammunition at all of its stores, and you look like, well . . . you look like you’re about to cry. Is it true that, after dozens and dozens of similar actions you’ve attempted over the years, this was the first time one of your stunts had the desired effect?

MM:

DT: In the film, you repeatedly mention your NRA membership card. You even display it for Charlton Heston when you interview him at his house. Then you confront him about his NRA support, ripping into the NRA’s habit of staging rallies in communities where Columbine-like shootings have recently occurred. You ask him to apologize to those communities for the NRA’s callous behavior.

That’s when he goes all sideways on you.

So let me ask you this: I’ve read that you joined the NRA as a way to start some sort of revolution from the inside, to infect that community with a sense of liberal compassion. I know that it’s dawned on you that that was a hopelessly optimistic goal, which you have since abandoned. I even heard you say, during an NPR interview, that you kind of regret supporting the NRA with the $750 you paid for a lifetime membership. But isn’t it kind of hypocritical that you still keep the card? That you flash it around to gain access to people like Heston? How do you feel about that?

MM:

DT: Tell you what. Let me give you the opportunity, right here and now, to take out your membership card–and rip it into tiny little pieces. It’ll be your way of saying, “Hey NRA. You may have my $750, which you’ve already used to stage one of those offensive progun rallies in Columbine or even my own home town of Flint, Mich., where that six-year-old boy shot a six-year-old girl at school with his uncle’s constitutionally protected death machine. Maybe you do have my money, but you can’t make me carry your damn card anymore!”

Go on. Tear it up right now as a hard-hitting social statement. What do you say, Michael Moore?

MM:

DT: One last question. In the press notes supplied to those at the advance screening, you are described as having a sense of, and I quote, “savage empathy.” What exactly is savage empathy, and isn’t it weird that it sounds so much like Compassionate Conservatism? What’s with that?

MM:

‘Bowling for Columbine’ plays at Rialto Lakeside Cinemas.

From the November 7-13, 2002 issue of the North Bay Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Keith Bradsher

Big and Bad

‘High and Mighty’ chronicles the rise and rise of SUVs

By Patrick Sullivan

Meteors, a cold snap, maybe a nasty virus–scientists can’t agree on what ended the first reign of the dinosaurs. But today they’re back in business, as anyone driving down any American highway knows. Is that a T. rex thundering along in the carpool lane? Nope, it’s a 7,700-pound, 19-foot-long Ford Excursion. Is that a brontosaurus backing ponderously out of that Costco parking space? Hardly anything so primitive: it’s the massive Cadillac Escalade.

Yes, sports utility vehicles–from the agile but ferocious Jeep Wrangler to the crushingly powerful GMC Yukon–dominate the food chain in a way wistful old allosaurus could only dream of.

But this neo-Cretaceous era is not without controversy. To admirers, SUVs are comfort and safety on wheels, mobile fortresses in a dangerous world. Keith Bradsher has a different view. As Detroit bureau chief for the New York Times, Bradsher witnessed firsthand the rise of the SUV, and he is not a fan. In a new book, High and Mighty (Public Affairs; $28), Bradsher explores the dark side of what he calls “the world’s most dangerous vehicle.”

It’s a complicated story, but Bradsher lays it out with vivid clarity. Once upon a time, rising gas prices and improving technology were convincing Americans to drive more fuel-efficient cars. But an array of factors, ranging from a new gas glut to short-sighted decisions by federal regulators to the self-centered psychology of middle-aged vehicle buyers, offered automakers an opportunity they couldn’t refuse.

In the end, Bradsher says, it comes down to this: “The manufacturers’ market researchers have decided that millions of baby boomers want an adventurous image and care almost nothing about putting others at risk to achieve it, so they have told auto engineers to design vehicles accordingly.”

We’ve grown accustomed to scare stories about consumer products. But the case Bradsher makes against the SUV may give pause to even the most cynical. The problems stem from one basic fact: because SUVs are classified as light trucks, they are not subject to the same safety, fuel-efficiency, or emissions standards as cars.

That results in vehicles like the Ford Explorer, which gets 14 miles to the gallon in the city, even as the average new vehicle in Japan gets more than twice that. Then there’s the Chevy Suburban, with extra-heavy-duty suspension, which is allowed to emit 7.5 times the air pollution of a car.

In a chapter titled “Kill Rates,” Bradsher explains what SUVs do to thousands of drivers of smaller vehicles–people like Diana de Veer, whose Saab was demolished by a Range Rover in a collision that left her with permanent brain damage. As Bradsher explains, “Men and women like Diana de Veer are being needlessly maimed and killed every day by stiff, high-riding SUVs that slide over cars’ bumpers and sturdy door sills, slamming into the passenger compartments.”

The kicker–call it the funny part, if you have a sick sense of humor–is that SUVs don’t really provide extra safety to their own occupants. True, most models offer greater protection in collisions with other vehicles. But their lethal rollover rates more than compensate.

Can anything be done to rein in these beasts? Bradsher doesn’t offer much hope. After all, as he carefully explains, SUVs have been incredibly profitable for powerful political constituencies like automakers and their unionized workers. Will they give up their cash dinosaur? As Charlton Heston would say: “From my cold, dead hands.”

And that pretty much leaves car drivers to grit their teeth and maybe pray for another meteor.

From the November 7-13, 2002 issue of the North Bay Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

‘Punch-Drunk Love’

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Love Stinks

On cannibalism, romantic comedies, and ‘Punch-Drunk Love’

Writer David Templeton takes interesting people to interesting movies in his ongoing quest for the ultimate postfilm conversation. This is not a review; rather, it’s a free-wheeling, tangential discussion of art, alternative ideas, and popular culture.

The biggest problem with most modern films,” author Susanna Kaysen says, “is that in the first half they start out trying to be one thing, and then in the last half, for no reason, they suddenly subvert themselves and become a completely different film. I don’t get it.”

Case in point: Punch-Drunk Love, starring Adam Sandler and Emily Watson. It’s a disturbing love story about a shy, emotionally wounded plunger salesman and the sweet English oddball he falls for. The various subplots involve pudding, phone sex, and a creepy musical instrument.

That much is fine, argues Kaysen, the author of Girl, Interrupted, the memoir that inspired the popular movie. Her most-recent work is The Camera My Mother Gave Me, a one-of-a-kind page-turner about Kaysen’s anti-adventures with vaginal disease. Obviously, Kaysen has an affinity for the offbeat, and she was thrilled by the ultrabonkers opening scenes of Punch-Drunk Love.

“The first two-thirds was so great,” she says. “Remember the one sex scene? When they’re in bed and she says, ‘I want to bite your cheek,’ and he says, ‘I want to smash your face in with a shovel?’ I watched that scene and thought, ‘This is fantastic! These people are both totally psychotic and somehow, they’ve found each other!’

“They’re not going to do these things, of course, but they are fantasies of engulfing and absorbing the other, articulating very well the feelings that lovers have about each other at the beginning of a relationship.

“Then,” Kaysen continues, “her whole character shifts, and she turns into this saintly, maternal type of person–and the whole movie goes ppthhhhhtttttph!”

For the record, I liked the movie. “Don’t you think,” I boldly suggest, “we’re supposed to believe that his love of her is helping him to, you know, heal?”

“Oh, ugh, disgusting, gross, I hate that,” she replies, “but that probably is what we’re supposed to believe. And that’s the kind of thing that makes me want to just stay home and never walk out the door. It’s such a lie and it’s such a fantasy, and it’s just a bunch of American recovery crap and I hate it.”

“What’s crap?” I ask. “That love can help us heal our family wounds?”

“Yeah, that’s crap,” Kaysen tosses back, with a morose laugh. “I don’t think love does help us heal. Love is just another arena in which we play those wounds out. Oh, what do I know? I’m a terrible cynic, a miserable, lonely person, but I think that adult relationships are where you rehash and redo all the damage that was done to you when you were a child.”

She pauses a moment, then says, “I was totally thrilled by the first hour of this movie because I was thinking, ‘Wow. This is a totally nightmarish, surrealistic vision of life in America,’ and I was fascinated by that.”

“So what is it you have against romantic comedies?”

“Well, for one thing,” Kaysen says, “life isn’t like that, and it’s depressing. Romantic comedies make me sad. The whole idea of everything working out in the end, the idea that love will save you. That’s so rarely born out in experience.

“Life is so odd and unpredictable,” Kaysen muses. “In the movies, the drive is for everything to work out–so it does work out. Everyone ends up happy, even when the people involved are talking about smashing each other’s faces in with a shovel. And then, they still get to live happily ever after.

“In real life,” she laughs, “you just get smashed with the shovel.”

From the October 31-November 6, 2002 issue of the North Bay Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Tom Sgouros

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She, Robot

Performance artist Tom Sgouros ponders the nature of a robot’s brain and lets the kitchen sink do the talking

By Sara Bir

What does a robot think about being turned off for days at a time or the drudgery of doing the dishes? Better yet, does a robot think at all? What is its version of consciousness?

Performance artist Tom Sgouros figured the best way to get to the bottom of such ponderous issues was to ask a robot. So he built one, named her Judy, and wrote Judy, or What Is It Like to Be a Robot?, a semisolo show that explores free will, consciousness, and the interaction between the maker and the made with insight, charm, and a few magic tricks.

Sgouros, whose home base is in Providence, R.I., has taken Judy on the road for a tour of California universities, making a Nov. 1 appearance at Sonoma State University.

Much of Sgouros’ creative output–he’s done six other one-man shows–has dealt with such issues. “This is not actually the first show of its sort that I’ve done,” he says, “but it’s the first one that’s used a robot. . . . Something about the robot makes it sort of gimmicky, and that makes it easy to tour it. People are curious, or maybe it makes it easy to understand what’s going on.”

Sgouros’ interest in the philosophical consequences of artificial intelligence came far before dabbling in the technical aspects of robotics. “I wrote a show that required a robot, and you can’t buy them, so I had to build one,” he says. “It really went the other way around–the requirement drove the tinkering. You’ll see that I’m not much of a tinkerer, either. It works, but it’s pretty rough.”

Judy eventually emerged from Sgouros’ basement, an oddly adorable appendage composed of old computers, a couple of bicycles, a copy machine, and, for good measure, a kitchen sink. Judy has no arms, but she does have a jaw, which she is inclined to use without reservation, questioning Sgouros’ seemingly logical statements. For a crude skeleton of copier parts, Judy has a lot of personality and self-awareness. It’s not so much a show about a robot, but rather a fanciful, quasi monologue about the implications of being a robot.

“You can’t say that one day I woke up and said, ‘I’d like to make a show about cognitive psychology.’ It didn’t really work like that,” Sgouros says. “I remember thinking that it would be interesting to have a discussion with a computer. When I talk to you, I can assume there’s a vast amount of things we can share. You know what it’s like to be angry, you know what it’s like to be hungry, you know what it’s like to be embarrassed by a bad haircut. But maybe if we had an intelligent machine, we still wouldn’t be able to talk to it. Where would be the disconnects?”

The resulting show amounts to a human-and-robot “Who’s on First?” scenario. Says Sgouros, “At one point in the show I say I have a chess set where the black pieces are red, and Judy goes, ‘What?! What do you mean the black pieces are red–they’re red!’ Then we start talking about all the other things that are black that aren’t really black: black eyes, black clouds, the Black Sea. . . . So the computer has to reassess it’s conception of what black means–without a lot of helpful guidance from me, I admit.”

Sgouros, through Judy, makes philosophy accessible with a very dry wit. Seemingly endless philosophical loopholes dealing with consciousness are much easier pills to swallow once a roughly hewn robot who belts out renditions of “John Henry” transforms them to fruity Flintstones chewable vitamins.

Tom Sgouros will perform with Judy the Robot at the Sonoma State Cooperage on Friday, Nov. 1 at 9pm. Sonoma State University, 1801 E. Cotati Ave., Rohnert Park. $5 general; free for SSU students with ID. 707.664.2382.

From the October 31-November 6, 2002 issue of the North Bay Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Kevin Peters

By Kevin Peters

There are colored light bulbs, now, in all the fixtures–blue, yellow, and red–to change the atmosphere, but over along the wall where the bar is you can still see where the ice-cream counter used to be, and a break in the carpeting betrays where the kitchen was. Two small pool tables cover the change, but it’s there if you know to look.

Jerry takes it all in just that fast, oblivious to the country band blasting from the corner until the lap steel makes a particularly annoying run, and he is shoved forward into the present. It’s a redneck bar. A pretty, young cocktail waitress with blonde hair and freckles smiles by, and he imagines her milking the cows and the dozen other chores she did before coming down here to work this evening.

He takes a deep breath remembering the smell of manure as it violated the air conditioning of his rental car. Turning to walk out, he is suddenly accosted by a herd of pointed boots coming through the door that lend substance to the memory of the intrusive aroma. Jerry retreats to the bar. The band starts again, and couples shuffle to the floor, then shuffle back and forth redistributing the sawdust. Now there is a bartender leaning across the ice-cream counter. His shirt has mother-of-pearl snaps.

“Scotch.” And then upon seeing the hesitation, “Beer.”

This produces recognition and presently a urine-colored substance.

Foam runs down the sides of the glass to soak the paper napkin. Jerry pays but does not drink, and as the bartender retreats to the far end of the bar to listen to the freckled cocktail waitress yell her order, Jerry measures the distance to the door, checks for pointed boots, and walks out.

Later, in the hotel room, waiting for Tom’s call, he stares at the yellow and orange carpeting, imagining the rows of small tufts that run from the bed to the wall are brown dirt freshly turned. He looks at his hands half expecting to see that dirt beneath his nails, but they are trim and clean. The red light on the phone flashes just before the ring, and Jerry picks it up.

“Hello?”

“Hey, baby.”

“Hey.”

“How’s it going?”

“All right. It’s settled. I’ll meet once more with the lawyer in the morning, and that’ll be it.”

“Good.” Tom pauses, then asks, “How you holding up?”

“I’ll be all right. I miss you.”

“Me too, baby. Come home soon.”

“I will.”

“Austin and Mike are here,” says Tom.

“Tell them I said hi.”

“OK, baby, love you.”

“I love you too.”

“Bye.”

“Bye.”

Jerry listens to the line go dead, then hangs up the phone. He lies back on the bed and stares at the dark TV knowing that the news is all weather predictions and crop forecasts. Later, with the lights off, he will count trucks passing on the interstate a block away until he dozes.

That dirt, that same dirt, from beneath his nails, from inside his shoes, in his clothes, in his hair, that same dirt his mother cursed on her kitchen floor and his father worshipped, that same dirt that they turned every year and poked and prodded as if it would not green of its own accord, that same dirt that grew their food and paid their debts and broke their backs, that same dirt now covers his father. Beside that dark brown rectangle, his mother’s grave shows only typical vague depressions from three years of settling beneath the well-kept lawn.

He stares at the new name on the stone; it is his own name, the same as his father’s, dragging him now forward instead of back to face his own demise, his own mortality. Nearby, an angel weeps granite tears. Further down cherubim dance. He looks around. Here they all lie now, row upon row, in this dirt that sustained them, that gave their lives meaning, that ultimately killed them. The futility of that circle produces his one and only tear. Here, at last, is a piece of land the bank cannot take. Reaching down, he grasps one handful of dirt, letting it tumble out between his fingers, and just before the last of it falls away, rakes his nails through it, embedding some small bit.

He’s counting backward, now, the hours until he arrives home, subtracting each part–15 minutes to the crossroads, 15 minutes to the highway, a half hour plus to the airport–as he pulls out on Road No. 5 and turns north. It is that particular moment in the season when the corn stands tall, like two walls hemming in the road on both sides, eight or nine feet and blossoming, paralleling the road in two straight lines as far ahead as Jerry can see.

He feels, suddenly, an inward pressure, a slight discomfort, and removes his foot from the accelerator. The car’s speed drops from 60 to 50 to 40; time for one more stop before he goes. Leaving the car running on the road with the door standing open, he walks to the edge of the field and without hesitation, disappears between the rows. The plants are heavy with ears ready to harvest, and the smell is rough and green and familiar. He stops at one particular plant, indistinguishable from the rest and glances up at its top as he zips down his fly, pulls out his penis, and begins to urinate.

From the October 31-November 6, 2002 issue of the North Bay Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Persimmons

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By Kevin Peters There are colored light bulbs, now, in all the fixtures--blue, yellow, and red--to change the atmosphere, but over along the wall where the bar is you can still see where the ice-cream counter used to be, and a break in the carpeting betrays where the kitchen was. Two small pool tables cover the...
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