Independent Election Guide

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Too Many Choices?


Steve Decinzo

Vote for me, I’ll set you free: Open primary. Faceless candidates. Ballot initiatives from the left and the right. And more campaign spending than you can shake a high-priced political consultant at. Fasten your seat belt–you’re in for a bumpy ride at the ballot box.

Democracy out of control: Pity the perplexed voter

Edited by Greg Cahill

AS YOU’RE APPROACHING the half-hour mark in the voter booth on June 2, punching yet another hole on the state’s longest and most confusing ballot ever, just remember: The road to voter hell was paved with good intentions. The reforms of the 20th century all started out as neat, direct democracy, let’s-give-everybody- and-their-uncle-a-say ideas.

Take the initiative process, for instance. Gov. Hiram Johnson pushed it at a time when railroads practically owned state lawmakers. Via an initiative, the thinking went, regular joes could theoretically tackle special interests and fat cats. Now, the well-financed special interests are the ones who control the initiative process, asking us to decide on their little pet issues like contract bidding and slot machines.

And we all approve of accountability, right? But how many of us really are qualified to make choices for obscure bureaucratic posts like state controller, treasurer, or member of the Board of Equalization?

This year Californians are drowning in a sea of black ink from the newest reform measure, open primaries, approved by voters two years ago. The logic behind this one: Encourage better voter turnout by letting independents vote for Democrats or Republicans (or anybody on the ballot) and, in general, giving people more choices.

And boy, do they have choices. There are more than 100 candidates listed on the ballot for state and federal offices, a whopping 17 of them running for governor; eight state propositions require 76 pages to explain them; and, locally, seven candidates are vying just for the county 2nd Supervisorial District seat.

“This is on a scale beyond what most of us comprehend,” acknowledges political science professor Terry Christensen. “I’m a Ph.D. and I don’t read through half of the [ballot]. I make guesses like everybody else.”

The dizzying amount of choices has left voters shell- shocked and confused. With three weeks to go until the primary, pollsters marveled at the high rate of undecided likely voters–about one in four of those who regularly turn out at the polls–in the election’s prime- time feature, the gubernatorial race.

At the same time we insist on giving ourselves more choices, the electorate is lazier and less informed. With fewer Americans reading newspapers, voters are relying on television for their civic information. Unfortunately, TV news is largely ignoring statewide politics because, in the words of Los Angeles Times columnist William Bradley, “the state’s TV industry … is far more interested in profiting from manipulative [political] advertising and promoting the pooled ignorance of its newscasts than in helping Californians make informed decisions.”

And if voters don’t know what the hell is going on in the high-profile race for governor, how are they supposed to make informed choices about untelevised local contests for city council, judge, and water board? Historical precedent tells us they often don’t bother to make a choice at all in minor-league races. According to Christensen, those who do show up at the polls regularly will just cast a vote for the marquis statewide offices or initiatives, while simply ignoring peewee officials like city council members or assessor.

To further demonstrate the pathetic state of the modern electoral process, candidates’ placement on the ballot is now randomly selected instead of listed alphabetically. The reason? Because some brilliant voters are apt to vote for the candidate at the top of the ballot. Christensen estimates having the top ballot placement can mean an extra two or three percentage points for a candidate.

“We’re big on democratizing the process,” observes Professor Larry Gerston, an expert in election analysis, “and we’re really good at subverting it.”

Old New York Times columnist Walter Lippmann, a champion of representative democracy in which professionals and experts make the complex choices, criticizes the limitations of direct democracy like this: “The capacity of the general public–on which we’re dependent for votes– to take on many problems is very limited… . What public opinion can do in the end is to say yes or no. It can’t do anything more complicated than that.”

But these days voters often don’t even say yes or no, but rather, “Huh?”

2nd State Senate District

Seems nothing goes according to plan. First, term limits force popular incumbent Mike Thompson, D-St. Helena, out of the running for the 2nd State Senate District seat, diverting him to the starting gate of the 1st Congressional District race. Then, Thompson’s main congressional opponent, Rep. Frank Riggs, R-Windsor, backs out to chase a U.S. Senate seat (a race from which he also bailed out of several weeks ago.) North Coast Democrats had expected Assemblywoman Valerie Brown to succeed Thompson (since Democrats have held the 2nd District since 1978), but Brown unexpectedly opted out for personal reasons, clearing the way for an array of candidates to move into the running.

Democrat Timothy Oliver Stoen–who once was the attorney for People’s Temple cult leader Jim Jones, and whose 6-year-old child died in the 1978 massacre at Jonestown, Guyana–is still trying to contend with the fact that he was once Jones’ associate. “One who has experienced the abuse of power has learned a profound lesson in wisdom and can more likely be trusted with power,” says Stoen of his candidacy. Although now a Democrat, Stoen, 60, is a recent convert from the GOP (in his last venture, he was Republican candidate for Congress). Quite a switch. Maybe that explains why his campaign has gathered only $3,300. His main campaign issues include increasing opportunities for working class people to own stocks; crafting tougher academic standards for students; and introducing a corporate version of the Three Strikes law.

Wes Chesbro, who has raised $207,000 for his campaign, is another Democrat hoping to fill Thompson’s shoes. The former Humboldt County supervisor and Arcata City Council member is now a member of the state Solid Waste Board (part of a paid full-time panel that seeks to cut the state’s waste stream in half by 2000). Chesbro, 46, is also the founder of California’s oldest recycling center, located on the North Coast. He cites quality of education as his top priority. His other key campaign issues include performance audits for state agencies, transferring tax revenue to local governments, cutting waste in state government, creating jobs and diversifying the north state economy, and protecting local government. Chesbro has emerged as the leading environmental candidate, garnering endorsements from key green organizations such as the Sierra Club and the Sonoma County Conservation Action Committee, both of which applaud his experience and efficacy.

Republican candidate and winery heir John Jordan (the son of Jordan Winery owner Tom Jordan) is just three years out of college, with deep pockets, and a private plane–but no political experience. That hasn’t deterred the 25-year-old ex-banker from pumping more than $750,000 of his own money into a slick campaign operated from a gleaming downtown Santa Rosa office. The junior Jordan owns Kaffe Mocha, a local chain of gourmet coffeehouses, and he lures potential voters with birthday cards and coupons for free latte. Jordan cites as his main campaign issues “protection from judicial meddling” of the Three Strikes law; creating a balance between business and the environment; tax reduction; and introduction of public education reforms.

Staffers say Jordan’s former campaign coordinator, Steve Henricksen (who was recently charged with six felony counts in the Petaluma voter fraud scandal– and likely caused a few red faces), is no longer working with the campaign.

The other Republican in this race, John Pinches, is worlds away from Jordan. His penchant for wearing cowboy hats and silver belt buckles and calling rodeos in his spare time make this 46-year-old Mendocino County supervisor look like a refugee from the defunct TV show Dallas. But, unlike a J. R. Ewing wannabe, Pinches–who actually is a rancher–is operating a grassroots, all-volunteer campaign. Pinches uses hand-painted tires as campaign signs and has pledged not to accept donations of more than $49, tallying up a not-so-grand total of $16,000 so far.

He is the only candidate in the 2nd Senate District race to support the legalization of marijuana. The rancher, who neither smokes nor grows pot, has long been critical of state raids on marijuana plantations. Pinches’ other issues are to redirect educational funding into classrooms, to grant local control to school districts, and to reverse the flow of tax dollars from state to local government.

Brian Garay, a Mendocino artist running unopposed for the Peace and Freedom Party, is keeping a low political profile. The Independent left him numerous messages requesting information on his campaign, but he still had not contacted us by press time.
Recommendation: Wes Chesbro


1st State Assembly District

This three-way race looks like a classic general election: one Democrat, one Republican, and one third- party candidate. But in the heavily Democratic 1st District, which reaches from Sebastopol north to Oregon, the likelihood of a partisan surprise come November is considered remote.

Incumbent Virginia Strom-Martin, D-Duncans Mills, made the leap from elementary school classroom to the statehouse two years ago, and has made good on her promise to concentrate on educational issues. She opposes Prop. 227, but the legislative remedy she worked for was summarily vetoed by Gov. Pete Wilson. Other legislative concerns from Strom-Martin have been protecting consumers from price hikes as utilities are deregulated and supporting tourism on the North Coast. She also backs rail service throughout the district and protection for the Headwaters Forest.

Republican Sam Crump is a young, ambitious attorney who is looking to move up after a single contentious term on the Sebastopol City Council. He won that term with the strong backing of the city’s police union, and reciprocated by giving the Police Department a bigger slice of the beget, while opposing public funds for local non-profits. His role as spokesman for a business coalition pushing for the widening of Highway 101 has connected him with the county’s power brokers outside of his hometown, but also angered many in Sebastopol who felt he was slighting the city’s needs while carrying the banner for outsiders. Smooth and personable in conversation, he has proved deceptively conservative and combative in office.

He also has earned an environmentalist F grade from Sonoma County Conservation Action.

Injecting some welcome life into this race is Pam Elizondo, a frequent Peace and Freedom candidate who is making her fourth low-budget run for the statehouse since 1986. Her platform rests on two planks: corporate reform to rein in “the rich guys” (along with restructuring of the business tax code to reward good corporate citizenship) and the decriminalization and commercialization of both hemp and marijuana. “Hardly anybody thinks about what I believe in,” Elizondo says. Maybe they should.
Recommendation: Virginia Strom-Martin


6th State Assembly District

It remains to be seen whether 6th State Assembly District incumbent Kerry Mazzoni, D-Novato, can hold on to her position for another term. Many think she can. The former member of the Novato Unified School District board of trustees had landslide wins in 1994 and 1996 and continues to maintain her popularity. One sure bet: she’ll nail the primary since there’s no Democratic challenger.

Since her election to the state Legislature in 1994, Mazzoni’s package has focused on educational reform. She chairs the Assembly Education Committee and has played a key role in class-size reduction. Mazzoni has authored bills to expand the beginning-teacher support and assessment program statewide and to require teachers to demonstrate competency in computer use. She has also made transportation, seniors, and the environment key aspects of her legislation.

One of Mazzoni’s challengers is Russ Weiner. This buttoned-down 28-year-old travel consultant/events producer is a Sausalito resident and a staunch Republican. He is co-founder of the 4,000-member Paul Revere Society–a conservative educational and fraternal organization “to preserve the borders, language, and culture of America,” which he created two years ago with his father, conservative KSFO talk- show host Michael Savage. Weiner is against bilingual education and supports the idea of “one nation, one language.” He opposes reducing the simple minority vote needed to approve school bonds. Weiner is also against recent legislative efforts to ban assault weapons.

Republican Peter Romanowsky is a 48-year-old minister and marine salvager. A member of the New Covenant Evangelistic Association, he works as a chaplain for the low-income waterfront community in Sausalito. He lives on a 30-foot houseboat anchored off the town. Romanowsky says education is his main concern and he supports a publicly funded school voucher program. He advocates downsizing prisons by placing non-violent offenders convicted of minor crimes into job-training programs to save money to pay for the school vouchers.

Ed Sullivan of San Anselmo, a 60-year old printing company owner also running in the Republican primary, cites improvements in education as his top priority and supports state standardized testing. Sullivan’s goal is to stop “dumbing down our classrooms just to make children feel good.” He does not support banning bilingual education. He also wants to eliminate the gasoline additive MTBE.

Perennial Peace and Freedom candidate and self- proclaimed dark horse Coleman C. Persily, 82, doesn’t expect to win (this is his fifth election bid) but wants to spread the word on P&F Party issues. His agenda includes building more affordable housing, getting rent control for mobile homes and apartments, abolishing the Three Strikes law, and opposing the proposed ban on bilingual education.
Recommendation: Kerry Mazzoni


Michael Amsler



7th State Assembly District

Democratic incumbent Valerie Brown may have been forced out of this year’s election by state term limits, but she has selected her successor for 7th District State Assembly: John Latimer, 31, who has been Brown’s chief of staff since 1992 and recently moved back to Santa Rosa after spending 10 years in Sacramento.

Still, critics grumble he’s an outsider, but Latimer counters that he was born and raised in Sonoma County. His three key campaign issues are to increase funding for K-12 schools; to increase investment in streets, highways and mass transit; and to improve health care. Most of his $202,000 campaign funds reportedly hail from outside the district, along with a generous $50,000 from mentor Valerie Brown’s reserves.

However, Democrat and Santa Rosa City Councilwoman Pat Wiggins, who also has worked for Brown’s campaigns, has thrown her hat into the ring. Wiggins, 58, has clearly demonstrated her commitment to improving the local economy and protecting a strong agricultural base. She championed a successful urban growth boundary measure in Santa Rosa, and is a vocal opponent of the City Council majority’s plan to dispose of treated waste water by pumping it into the geothermal Geysers rather than using it for agriculture. Wiggins, a computer systems analyst and 14-year Santa Rosa resident, has raised $99,000 and embraces campaign finance reform via voluntary spending limits. She also ranks education high on her list of priorities and advocates job training for students who are not college bound. Wiggins has racked up an impressive list of endorsers, including U.S. Sen. Barbara Boxer, former state Sen. Joseph Rattigan, Rep. Lynn Woolsey, Assemblywoman Virginia-Strom-Martin, and Supervisor Mike Reilly.

Democrat Deborah Russell is a Napa real estate agent whose leading benefactor has been the California Association of Realtors, which has contributed $149,000 to her campaign, or roughly half of her total campaign tally thus far. She cites education, health care, and law enforcement as her key issues.

Democrat Ernest Demuth, 72, a retired teacher who lives in American Canyon, says he is especially capable of working in the areas of education, child protection, and welfare. Considered a long shot, Demuth, whose motto is “Let’s vote on the issues, not who’s got the most money,” adds that he has provided his entire campaign fund of $11,500 “from my own personal fortune as a Valley grade-school teacher.”

Libertarian Mike Rodrigues, a 45-year-old entrepreneur and Napa resident, has big plans. They include privatization of public schools, repealing California state income tax, returning the California Legislature to part-time volunteer status, eliminating the California car tax, fighting to stop “politically correct” gun laws, removing the additive MTBE from gasoline, and “getting the government out of the Internet and personal communications.”

As for the Republican candidate: “No one will be tougher on criminals than Bob Sanchez,” states the campaign literature for this tough Napa banker, who was an early supporter of “Three Strikes and You’re Out.” Sanchez, the sole Republican in this race, wants to introduce legislation making it mandatory that criminals serve their full sentence in jail. He also advocates school choice and an “academics-centered” curriculum.

Peace and Freedom candidate and long-time rabble-rouser Irv Sutley did not return repeated calls for information on his campaign.
Recommendation: Pat Wiggins



Michael Amsler

Up to the task: Petaluma City Councilmember Jane Hamilton.


2nd Supervisorial District

Blaming health problems, longtime county supe Jim Harberson last year unexpectedly withdrew from the supervisorial race after holding the seat for 14 years and cleared the way for a whole crop of candidates who are now vying to represent the South County.

Unfortunately, there is little to distinguish the seven hopefuls, who for the most part are confoundingly clonelike on many of the key issues facing the district.

This year’s buzz words: preserving open space and the environment, and widening Highway 101. The candidates themselves have even commented on their lack of diverse viewpoints.

One bright spot is Petaluma City Councilwoman Jane Hamilton, who is backed by the Petaluma City Council majority and is a favorite of environmentalist groups. Hamilton, 47, a two-term City Council member, gained kudos a couple of years ago for her responsiveness and support of the public during the unpopular Lafferty Ranch swap proposal that eventually resulted in the uncovering of a huge voter-fraud scandal. She supports urban growth boundaries and would like to see the 2nd District grow at a somewhat slower rate.

If elected, Hamilton says she will be accessible to the community and will regularly appear at the Petaluma and Cotati City Council meetings (in the past, critics had accused incumbent Harberson of being “invisible” because he rarely attended city meetings).

Petaluma City Council member Nancy Read, 47, a former staff member for Rep. Lynn Woolsey, also has entered the race–no surprise since Harberson has groomed her to be his successor. Voters may recall that Read was staunchly in favor of the ill-fated Lafferty-Moon ranch swap proposal, despite intense public opposition. Her main campaign pledges are to bring a relief to traffic congestion, beef up public safety, and focus on urban growth.

As a council member, she is a member of the Golden Gate Bridge, Highway, and Transportation District, and says improving conditions on Highway 101 is her top priority.

The third familiar face is Rohnert Park Mayor Linda Spiro, the only candidate who lives outside Petaluma, where 57 percent of the district’s voters reside. She may have a tough time gaining votes. Spiro, 54, serving her third term on the Rohnert Park City Council, is a pro-growth candidate and is under fire by environmentalists for her support of Measure A, a Rohnert Park urban growth boundary initiative that many say is a pro-growth sham.

“Never saw a development proposal she didn’t like,” notes the Sonoma County Conservation Action election newsletter.

Labor attorney Dave King, 41, although considered a long shot, has made an impressive campaign start by walking neighborhoods and following up his visits with personal notes to community members, making reference to the issues. King, a member of the Sonoma County Democratic Central Committee, advocates preserving the environment, curtailing uncontrolled growth, and improving transportation on Highway 101. King says he has a “cynical view”of Sutter Health/CHS (the conglomerate to which the county has leased Community Hospital) and contends that if the hospital is not operating under the contract agreements, as supervisor he would work to terminate the controversial lease.

Touting herself as the business community’s candidate, Kathleen Doyle, 47, who owns her own accounting business in Petaluma and is a past president of the Petaluma Chamber of Commerce, is not concerned that she has less name recognition than other, more high-profile candidates. She says her budget management experience will be an asset to county government. She does not support voter-mandated urban growth boundaries.

Longtime law enforcement officer Gary Johnson, 46, a senior investigator for the California Department of Consumer Affairs, is considered a long shot. He has twice been elected to the Old Adobe School District board of trustees. His main issues are improving transportation and traffic and fixing flooding problems. He says he would be “totally against” local creation of a civilian police review board.

Petaluma Police Sgt. Mike Kerns is an amiable 25-year police veteran probably best known for his low-key news briefings when he was department spokesman during the 1993 Polly Klaas kidnap-murder case. Kerns, 51, has been elected twice as a trustee for the Waugh School District. He is known in the community and has served as an instructor for the Police Department’s anti-drug programs. His main issues are tougher crime prevention, improved transportation, and the curbing of urban sprawl.

Because of the unlikelihood of a clear majority winner, it is expected that the two top vote-getters will face each other in a November runoff.
Recommendation: Jane Hamilton


4th Supervisorial District

It’s easy to underestimate Paul Kelley. He was never the favorite to win election four years ago, and he has maintained a unusually low profile through most of his first term–and most of the campaign season to date– giving his three challengers as small a target as possible. At the same time, however, he has quietly consolidated his support among the building and winemaking industries in his district, amassing considerable financial resources for his re-election bid.

Not surprisingly, he is pro-business, wants to expand Highway 101 but is skeptical about commuter rail, and favors the continued exploitation of Russian River resources. His dubious claims as an environmentalist rest primarily in the Open Space District’s acquisition of extensive lands in the 4th District during his term in office.

Kelley’s conservative positions clearly set him apart from the three other candidates, all of whom give stronger voice to liberal and environmental concerns. Bill Patterson, Bill Smith, and Greg Wonderwheel are all supportive of urban growth boundaries, would like to see Santa Rosa’s wastewater used for agriculture, and oppose continued gravel mining in the middle reach of the Russian River. Wonderwheel, a former public employees’ union official who in 1996 led the charge against Sutter’s takeover of county-owned Community Hospital, has some pointed ideas about the inner workings of county government, and has proposed a “children’s budget” that would give priority to funding programs that benefit children.

The two Bills have the most in common, including the strongest environmental credentials among the four. Patterson, a Green Party activist, is more assertive in his support for the commuter rail proposal, while Smith has won the endorsement of Sonoma County Conservation Action. Both also cite their business experience as an additional asset, Patterson as a small business owner and Smith as an attorney for Codding Enterprises.

With three challengers poised to carve up the anti- Kelley vote, instead of a single standard bearer confronting the incumbent, the prospect for change in the North County’s representation on the Board of Supervisors is not encouraging.
Recommendation: Bill Smith



Janet Orsi

None of the above: Withhold your vote from DA Mike Mullins.


Sonoma County Sheriff
Sonoma County District Attorney

The two top law-enforcement officials in the county– District Attorney Mike Mullins and Sheriff Jim Piccinini–have found their departments at the center of a firestorm of controversy in recent years.

Both are running unopposed.

Is that a vote of confidence or an indication that no right-thinking person would want to step into the mire that has amassed around these offices?

Only time will tell–it’s unlikely that this election will offer any answers.

Perhaps, as the old adage goes, we do get the kind of government that we deserve. If that’s the case, then these uncontested races–which hold an uncanny resemblance to the old Soviet-style single-candidate political system–bear silent witness to some serious karmic debt, resulting either from our unwillingness to take control of our political lives or from the fact that we feel utterly powerless to change a system that has a knee-deep indifference to the public’s concerns.

Mullins took office four years ago, the hand-picked successor of longtime District Attorney Gene Tunney. A scrappy, diminutive ex-boxer with a combative nature, Mullins promised during his first political campaign to beef up prosecution of domestic violence cases. While he has played plenty of lip service to that mission, even some of those in his office point out that Mullins harbors resentment toward reforms and is reluctant to make any real changes in the department’s domestic violence policies and procedures–approaches that were criticized by the state Attorney General’s Office after the 1996 death of Maria Teresa Macias, a Sonoma housekeeper and mother of three who was gunned down by her estranged husband after the Sheriff’s Department and District Attorney’s Office failed to enforce a restraining order or pursue a complaint of stalking.

Mullins instituted some token reforms after a blue- ribbon panel found fatal flaws in the way his department handles domestic violence cases. But there is no indication that he has had a change of heart.

Piccinini came on board last year after Sheriff Mark Ihde and then his replacement, John Scully, suffered health problems. Piccinini assumed command of a department fraught with problems: criticism of the way deputies mishandled the Macias case, as well as other domestic violence reports; numerous sexual harassment complaints filed by female patrol deputies and investigators against fellow deputies and supervisors at a time when Piccinini served as patrol captain; the recent in-custody deaths of several inmates held at the county jail; the escape of two prisoners; and charges that top brass covered up the extent of a recent investigation in which more than two dozen jail guards used the Internet to download pornography while on duty.

Currently, the state Board of Corrections is reviewing policies and procedures at the county jail, thanks to a $35,000 contract awarded by the Board of Supervisors.

A lot of observers are taking a wait-and-see approach toward Piccinini, giving him the benefit of the doubt. But one underreported incident (it was discussed a few months ago during testimony at the U.S. Civil Rights Commission in Santa Rosa) has led others to question the sincerity of Piccinini’s claim that he plans to reform the department. Shortly after being sworn in for his current position, Piccinini called together several female deputies and county jail guards to discuss sexual harassment. Sounds encouraging, except that Piccinini asked them to sign documents swearing that they had not been the victims of sexual harassment– a situation that could later put their job in jeopardy if they were to file such a complaint. Piccinini has said he was only trying to get to the bottom of the situation, but critics point out that any good law- enforcement official should know that the sensitive nature of sexual harassment and the intimidation felt by victims often preclude the filing of reports for many years. Piccinini’s tactic has put the victims to blame.

Not exactly a shining example of the kind of enlightened leadership needed to ferret out deeply entrenched female-bashing staffers who have blemished the name of a department that boasts many competent, hard- working deputies who have been screwed over in past years by administrations more bent on rewarding friends than on building morale.
Recommendation: Withhold your vote for these two candidates as a sign that you expect more of the county’s top law-enforcement officials.


Proposition 219

This year, there are initiatives on the ballot that regulate minutiae such as how educators should teach non-English-speaking students, how government contracts should be bid, and how the courts should be run. Once, these were decisions we left to professionals– the educators in the field, administrators, and legal experts. No longer. In his new book, Paradise Lost: California’s Experience, America’s Future, Peter Schrag points out that ballot initiatives have steadily chipped away at the power of the Legislature, county boards of supervisors, school boards, city councils, and courts. Ballot initiatives have limited elected official’s terms in office, capped property tax assessments, abolished affirmative action in public education, and mandated Three Strikes sentencing. The irony is that, in the name of democracy, ballot initiatives usurp power from the people we elect to look at the whole system and shape policy for the state. If the ballot initiative was a response to a feeling that elected officials did not carry out the will of the people, the proliferation of initiatives has thrown power to an initiative industry that runs “astroturf” campaigns that fake grassroots support, pays for signatures, and often gives us poorly written, ill-conceived, and unworkable laws. With this in mind, we has evaluated the initiatives on the ballot this June and recommended a yes vote on only two, Propositions 219 and 220. Prop. 219 at least prevents initiative- framers from penalizing voters who disagree with their propositions, and Prop. 220 uses the initiative process in the way it was meant.
Recommendation: Yes on 219


Proposition 220

This would disintegrate the two-tiered trial court system. And despite our protests, this is one of the few cases in which a proposition is necessary because it requires an amendment to the state constitution. As it now exists, municipal court judges handle the small stuff–misdemeanors, civil suits of less than $20,000, and penny-ante infractions. The superior-court judges handle felonies, family law, and big-bucks civil suits. If Prop. 220 passes, it would consolidate the two courts within a county as long as it’s approved by the majority of that county’s muni and superior court judges. The merger could break up the logjam of backed-up cases in both courts by keeping the judges’ dockets full and the courtrooms occupied. Fiscal effect is unknown, but anything that keeps those folks earning their $90,000-plus salary is OK in our book.
Recommendation: Yes on 220


Proposition 221

Prop 221 would shift the authority for disciplining the state’s court commissioners and referees, the so-called “subordinate judicial officers” who serve as judges for such things as traffic cases and some family and small claims matters. Right now, the presiding judge of each local court appoints them and then handles any disciplinary proceedings against them. Prop. 221 would change the law so that the state’s Commission on Judicial Performance would be responsible. The commission presently has disciplinary authority over the state’s judges. This idea was so popular in the state Legislature–which supported it by a combined 111-1 vote–that one wonders why the members didn’t just pass it into law themselves. The answer comes with the name of one of the proposition’s chief supporters: state Senate Judiciary Committee Vice Chair Tim Leslie, who happens to be running for lieutenant governor. Maybe he thought that the “Leslie Initiative” would give him free publicity. We hope not. This seems like another misuse of the initiative process. Proponents say that because the CJP does not presently discipline commissioners and referees, we are left with such “horror” stories as commissioners awarding child custody to pedophiles and drug abusers. But when is the last time you ever, ever heard of the CJP disciplining any of the judges over which the commissioners do have authority?
Recommendation: No on 221


Proposition 222

Lock the door and throw away the key. This is the basic tenant of Prop. 222, which promises to wipe out the criminal-justice provision that allows second-degree murderers, whose crime is not premeditated, to trim part of their 15- to 25-year sentences for hard work and good behavior. The proposition also cracks down on cop-killers, upping the sentence for second-degree murder of a police officer from 25 years to life– to life without parole. California Assemblyman Rod Pacheco, the measure’s sponsor, says 222 will sew shut a loophole that has allowed murderers to “manipulate the work-credit system” and reduce their sentences. Duh– that’s the whole idea of the work-credit system. This boils down to a fundamental difference in thinking about prisoners. Its supporters argue that murderers should serve the maximum sentence with no parole– no matter what. Opponents believe that criminals have the potential for rehabilitation and should be given the opportunity to earn for themselves a second chance. We agree.
Recommendation: No on 222


Proposition 223

This is another one of those chameleon ballot measure that sends out one message and delivers an opposite result. A yes vote means schools get less money. Prop. 223 claims it will trim down bureaucracies at California schools by limiting the dollars a district can spend on administration. Deemed the “95-to-5” initiative, it allows a school to spend only 5 percent of its total state and federal funds on administration. The remaining 95 percent will be reserved exclusively for the classrooms. But since someone still needs to buy cafeteria food, repair buses, and send out teachers’ paychecks, this will only force districts to restructure their finances. It would also create additional administrative tasks. First, someone will have to document and classify all of the district’s services as either the 95 percent that supports classrooms or the 5 percent that are administrative. Then, districts will need to creatively refinance in order to save important services. These tasks, of course, will fall under the “5 percent,” creating one more unneeded administrative cost. Prop. 223 would simply mean still another layer of accounting and reporting.
Recommendation: No on 223


Proposition 224

Anytime the California Labor Federation and the California Republican Party team up against a mutual foe, chances are good the opponent is a creature of curious dimensions. Prop. 224, sponsored by the state’s civil engineers’ union, would work this way: Anytime the state needed to build a road or a dam or anything else costing more than $50,000, interested companies and the state itself would submit estimates to the state controller to see who could do it cheapest (currently the state picks firms, then discusses money). The first catch is that whereas private companies would have to list all expenses, including the state’s project monitoring costs, the state would have to list only direct costs, like materials, the logic being that costs, like administration, are already in place independent of particular projects. The second catch is that the Controller’s Office would swell like a diseased gland as hundreds of projects came through for approval each year. Opponents have hinted darkly at the controller becoming a “contract czar.” And just imagine the bureaucratic backlog. Opponents of Prop. 224 say it’s a rigged system that discourages competitive bidding and would unfairly award most contracts to the state, taking jobs from thousands of unionized construction workers to the benefit of a select group of state employees. And didn’t we elect someone to handle this sort of thing, anyway?
Recommendation: No on 224


Proposition 225

There is one really bad thing about Prop. 225, and it has nothing to do with term limits. First off, let’s get one thing straight: Prop. 225 is not a direct vote on congressional term limits. That has already been voted on by Californians, and that has already been declared unconstitutional by the courts. Now, term-limit supporters are attempting to pass a U.S. constitutional amendment. Prop. 225 would make support of such an amendment the official position of the state of California, it would require all state and federal legislators from California to work to pass the amendment, and it would require that ballots identify in writing any candidates who refuse to support such a term-limit amendment. Let’s leave aside for a moment the fact that this proposition would allow voters in Long Beach and Humboldt County a say in the election of representatives from Silicon Valley and what they must do after they are elected. That’s bad enough. Worse yet: If passed, the proposition would open the door for all sorts of “ballot position statements” on all sorts of issues. Supporters of both sides of the abortion issue might want “yes or no” statements on this question from candidates put on the ballot. And what about the death penalty? Or environmental protection vs. economic development? Or affirmative action? Once you open the door for one issue, you pretty much have to open the door for all. Bad idea.
Recommendation: No on 225


Proposition 226

Drafted by a coterie of hardball conservatives, Prop. 226 has been dressed up to look like the gingham- frocked, freckle-faced buddy of working men and women who have no say over where their union dues go. Its architects even called it the “paycheck protection” act for a while. But Prop. 226, which would require all employees to give permission to their labor unions before their dues could be used for political activities, is a thinly veiled attempt to gum up the works and sap the strength behind union political clout. For one thing, union members democratically elect officers to spend their dues wisely. If they don’t like their officers’ choices, members can vote them out of office. For another thing, California law already allows union members to request that their dues not be used for political purposes. Prop. 226, designed to go into effect July 1, would seriously impede unions’ abilities to affect California’s November elections, since officials would be rushing to administer and collect a form that hasn’t even been developed yet before they could legally spend dues on campaign issues. Similar initiatives already have passed in Washington and Wyoming. Prop. 226 is a national effort to hush the voice of labor–and California is a key state.
Recommendation: No on 226


Proposition 227

Drafted by Palo Alto businessman Ron Unz, Prop. 227, or the “English for the Children” initiative, proposes to end bilingual education statewide when school starts this fall. Unz believes that students are best served in classes where English is spoken, and English only. Instead of the current system, in which students can be taught in their native language and gradually eased into English-only classes, the Unz initiative would give students a year to get up to speed. After that, they would be placed in regular classes without additional help. Proponents, which include Gov. Pete Wilson, say parents could request waivers allowing their children to stay in bilingual classes. But finding a class will be difficult–the initiative allows for one only if 20 students in each grade have a need for bilingual instruction. Every candidate for governor has opposed Prop. 227, including Republican Attorney General Dan Lungren. And while educators agree that some overhaul of the bilingual system is necessary, they believe that if Prop. 227 passes, the state will be left with an overregulated system forcing children into a rigid English-only environment before they are ready. This could lead to continuing underachievement for non-native speakers on tests. This initiative has politics more in mind than the interests of children. Education should not be regulated by an initiative, but reformed by educational professionals who truly know how to give English to the children.
Recommendation: No on 227

Reporters Cecily Barnes, J. Douglas Allen-Taylor, Will Harper, Paula Harris, Tracy Hukill, Eric Johnson, Michael Learmonth, and Bruce Robinson contributed to this article.

From the May 28-June 3, 1998 issue of the Sonoma County Independent.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Mistral

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Show Biz


Michael Amsler

Hand of fate: Nearly 30 years ago, circumstances led Michael Hirschberg to the kitchen. He’s been a staple on the local haute cuisine scene for almost that long, helping to nourish the county’s reputation as a food capital.

For Mistral owner Michael Hirschberg, the (foodie) world is a stage

By Marina Wolf

I WANTED to be a rock star when I was 15,” confides Michael Hirschberg, owner of Santa Rosa’s Mistral restaurant, as he leans slightly forward against a polished rosewood table. “I wanted to be paid to be adored, or something egomaniacal like that. But by the time I got to college, I realized I couldn’t play guitar to save my life.”

Hirschberg then turned to poetry, but the muse was fickle. That’s when fate stepped in. It was the early ’70s, a good time to leave New York and follow his friends out to San Francisco, where they all lived in a big house and he learned to cook.

“Everybody else was working and I just stayed home and puttered around in the kitchen,” he recalls.

Hirschberg became the designated cook, and the compliments–“You oughtta open a restaurant”– eventually clicked. “I finally found my little niche where I could get my kudos.”

Kudos, indeed: The many Sonoma County restaurants and projects that Hirschberg has been involved in have garnered a lifetime of approval for the slender, hyperactive man whose business-crisp shirts do nothing to hide his bubbling enthusiasm. Mistral, a comfortable Mediterranean-French restaurant, has been a magnet for local food lovers and winery events since it opened in 1996. From 1985 to 1996, he managed Sienna in the same location, and before and during that, he was the chef-owner of Matisse, which was a nouvelle-cuisine landmark in downtown Santa Rosa. In the middle of it all, he founded Mezzaluna Bakery, which he sold last year; served in the food association Select Sonoma County in various capacities for years; and, at the very beginning, ran a vegetarian establishment called the Mandala Cafe.

None of it would have been possible without Hirschberg’s junior year of study in Europe. “[My travel buddy] and I were both petrified,” he says. “The food was the most intimidating thing about going to Europe. ‘What if the food’s weird?’ we thought.”

As it turned out, the food was weird: the first place the hungry travelers landed was in northern England. But once again fate had other plans, leading them to London and Hirschberg’s first food revelation: Indian restaurants. They’re a dime a dozen in London, but Hirschberg, a picky child raised by a Betty Crocker mom, was blown away.

“I had never eaten anything like that,” he says with a big grin. “We went out all the time and tried those red-hot spicy dishes. We’d get giddy, laughing and sweating, gulping down the water.”

Things on the Continent–France, Italy, and Spain– were a little calmer, but the wide-eyed Hirschberg still spent a good portion of the day walking around and scanning menus.

At that point, Hirschberg began fantasizing about opening a cafe, with curry and “weird” European dishes on the menu. Within a few years of returning to the States, he got a place with his aunt out on Guerneville Road and opened the Mandala Cafe in 1974, at the age of 22. He had a big organic garden, work that he loved. Then, in 1981, he had to go and ruin it all: He went to France.

HIRSCHBERG sold the cafe and flew off with his wife-to-be, who found work as a pastry chef apprentice, leaving him plenty of time to solicit for unpaid positions at the doors of some of France’s top kitchens. Some chefs laughed; others handed him bags of potatoes to peel; but a few came through with the kind of hands-on training he was after: “This was in the days of nouvelle cuisine. Well, now it’s old cooking, but at the time it was Disneyland to me,” says Hirschberg, eyes sparkling with remembered excitement.

After a year in France, he returned to Sonoma County only to find himself saddled with his old restaurant, which had reverted to him when the buyer went bankrupt. Fully intending to sell the place, Hirschberg ended up reopening it himself in 1983 as Matisse. “What I wanted to do was show people what I learned in France,” Hirschberg says.

The 1980s–which saw a surge of haute cuisine in Sonoma County–proved the perfect time for Matisse, with its elegant cuisine catering to the lobster-and- chardonnay cravings of a conspicuous-consumption society. Says Hirschberg, “I remember reading an article that was, like, ‘We just flew down to Los Angeles and had dinner at Spago and spent $900 on dinner for just the two of us, but it was just wonderful.’ No one talks like that anymore… . People would look at you like, well, why would you do that?”

People are beginning to feel a bit more extravagant again, after the shock of the recession in the early ’90s. But there is no going back to the Matisse days, Hirschberg says. “We’re not trying to pretend that this is the court of Louis XIV.”

THESE DAYS, Hirschberg doesn’t work in the kitchen much himself, leaving the details of Mistral’s food to new chef Pascal Chureau. The shift was inevitable; for a time he managed two restaurants, and clearly could not cook dinner in both places at once, and so found himself spending more time out in the dining room. “I used to be an introvert”–many people, he acknowledges, would snort in disbelief–“but I made myself go out there. Now I know so many people, and I feel much more connected with the whole thing. I still monitor the food, but then I’m watching it being served.

“Plus I like the vitality, the show biz.”

His affinity for the public sphere is only one of the changes that Hirschberg has undergone since his hippie days. For one thing, he isn’t a vegetarian anymore. “I think it’s a very wise way to eat; I really honor it a lot,” he says. “I just don’t do it. Maybe I’m lazy, or just very sensual… .

“Sometimes I think that when I’m in my 60s I’ll get wiser and more in touch with some of the values I had in my 20s. When you’re in your 40s you just have to become materialistic to a certain degree, to raise children, run a household, run a business.”

This and other comments suggest that Hirschberg is not entirely comfortable with the financial success and broad appeal of Mistral. But now he has the freedom to spend time with his wife and two teenagers. And even as he gets up to deal with the pre-lunch clamor, Hirschberg’s last words make clear that adolescent fantasies have given way to deeper roots that ground him during the busy days. “Even when I was a hippie, I believed in ‘chopping wood, carrying water,'” he says. “You know, that Zen approach. Work is noble, work is good, you did it, and if you did it well, you got rewarded somehow [in a spiritual way].

“You did it on faith.”

Moroccan Chicken Salad

No ordinary salad, this chilled, subtly spiced dish–one of Michael Hirschberg’s favorites–is great to toy with on warm nights.

Marinade:
2 tbsp. honey
4 tbsp. oil
1/2 tbsp. ground black pepper
1 tbsp. ground allspice
1 tbsp. ginger
1/2 tbsp. cinnamon

Chicken:
4 each chicken legs and thighs
1/4 cup golden raisins
1/4 cup pine nuts

Couscous:
4 cups water
1 tsp. butter
1 cup couscous
1 tsp. minced mint
1 tsp. minced parsley
1 medium tomato, diced
1/2 cucumber, diced
1 tbsp. lemon juice
2 tbsp. virgin olive oil
Salt and pepper to taste
Dressed lettuce

One day in advance: Combine marinade ingredients. Remove skin from chicken, coat with marinade, and refrigerate overnight.

Several hours in advance: Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Sprinkle marinated chicken with salt and bake for 40 minutes, or until done. When chicken is cool, remove meat from the bone and julienne. Toss chicken with raisins and pine nuts.

To prepare couscous, boil water with butter, stir in couscous, and bring back to the boil. Cover and remove from heat. Let stand till water is absorbed. Pour out on a baking sheet to cool, then break up any lumps with your fingers.

Combine all the remaining seasoning ingredients, then toss with couscous. Arrange couscous in a small pile or shape in a cylindrical mold. Top with chicken mixture. Encircle with dressed lettuce. Serve with sparkling wine or Gewürtztraminer. Serves 4.

From the May 28-June 3, 1998 issue of the Sonoma County Independent.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Talking Pictures

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Disco Fever

Michael Amsler



Trapped at ‘The Last Days of Disco’

By David Templeton

In his ongoing quest for the ultimate post-film conversation, David Templeton unwittingly invites Elizabeth Hess, who has written about her experiences as a volunteer at an animal shelter, to see the wrong movie–The Last Days of Disco.

ELIZABETH HESS grabs a seat, glancing expectantly around this tiny, private screening room in downtown San Francisco, as a motley parade of local film critics file in, nodding and gabbing, to claim their own slots before the lights fade and the movie begins.

We are here among esteemed arbiters of cinematic culture ready to enjoy an advance screening of The Horse Whisperer, Robert Redford’s much-anticipated film version of the Nicholas Evans bestseller–the tale of a traumatized horse and the man who truly understands it. Hess, a New York-based art critic and Village Voice writer, is taking a break from a long, grueling, multi-city book tour to promote her own well-received book, Lost and Found: Dogs, Cats and Everyday Heroes at a Country Animal Shelter.

A chronicle of Hess’ experiences as a volunteer at a rural animal shelter in upstate New York, Lost and Found is an enchanting, eye-opening record of true events, some heartbreaking, some absurdly funny, as a team of dedicated volunteers fight for the lives of numerous castoff dogs, cats, rabbits–and even traumatized horses.

The room darkens. The curtains slide open. Loud dance music blares at us as the opening credits flash on the screen, between images of twirling lights and gyrating, bell-bottomed youths. Down in the seats, puzzled looks are exchanged in all directions. “This is The Horse Whisperer?” Hess murmurs. Evidently not.

Owing to a largely unannounced change in the schedule, we are now watching The Last Days of Disco–by renowned indie director Whit Stillman–featuring an entirely different breed of animal than the one we’d been expecting.

“I guess I can handle two hours of disco,” my guest shrugs, heroically.

“Maybe there will be horses in it,” I hopefully suggest. “Or at least a couple of dogs.”

Aside from a little terrier who shows up only to be kicked by the film’s disco-loving heroine, the only dog on screen is the movie itself, an aimless, rambling mess in which a pack of shallow, self-obsessed New Yorkers treat each other badly, slip in and out of each other’s beds, whine incessantly, and occasionally hit the dance floor.

“Maybe it’s a movie you had to be in the mood for,” Hess graciously suggests, once it’s finally over. Having fled the screening room, we’ve taken refuge at a coffee bar around the corner. “I live around the corner from where Studio 54 was,” she points out. “All those places were in my neighborhood. For a movie, the dullest club scene they could possibly find was the disco scene. What a bore.

“And that poor little terrier,” she adds, with a roll of her eyes.

“I did like the scene where they were sitting around talking about Lady and the Tramp,” I interject, referring to an argument the disco kids have over whether Tramp–the dog hero in Disney’s celebrated 1955 film–embodies a veiled message to little girls that scoundrels with prison records (he escaped from the pound) are more exciting and desirable than nice, loyal fellows like Lady’s next-door neighbors, Trusty and Scotty. The scene ends with the kids debating which of the guys is most like Tramp and which most like Scotty and Trusty.

“Ever since seeing Lady and the Tramp when I was little,” I further confess, “I’ve always been afraid of dog pounds and animal shelters.”

“Of course,” Hess nods, compassionately. “In those movies the shelter is always ‘the bad place,’ the place of death and gloom. And in fairness, some shelters are pretty scary, and some are even scarier than others.

“I think shelters make us feel badly about our own limitations,” she continues. “You walk through a shelter, and you see all those animals, and you know that they’re there because their owners screwed up, couldn’t keep them, let them go, dumped them.”

“Is there a connection,” I wonder, “between the disco kids’ attitude–ferociously pairing up only to dump each other and pair up with someone else–and the disposable attitude that leads to so many abandoned animals?”

“Good for you. Of course. That’s right,” Hess replies. “One might say this movie reflects the increasing shallowness of our culture. For me, it was no small realization, seeing how easily these live animals are discarded. There is a callousness in people that I saw. I remember one woman who brought in the family dog, a Labrador they’d had for years. On the form she wrote, ‘No more room in the back yard.’ And we asked, ‘Small yard?’ She said, ‘Oh no. It’s a big enough yard, but we just put a swimming pool in and now there’s no more room in the yard.’

“One of my favorite cases was someone who wrote, ‘Have company coming for weekend. House is too full.’ No more room at the inn. Sorry. Good-bye. And you’d be amazed how many people come with an old dog or cat and say that it’s a stray they just found. But they know its name, and it’s cowering in their lap, afraid to leave them. And one call to their vet tells you he’s been treating the animal for 15 years; they’re just too embarrassed to admit they would give up their pet.

“It’s like the movie,” she adds, “the way they’d make up elaborate excuses for dumping someone after one or two nights, the lengths they’d go to in trying to leave one relationship for another. People say the most outrageous things in order to feel better about giving away their dog.”

“So then,” I ask, “could you say that the moral of the movie is that a whole generation learned how to treat each other like animals?”

“Perhaps,” she nods, thoughtfully. “Except that animals are far more trusting and forgiving of us than we are of each other.”

From the May 28-June 3, 1998 issue of the Sonoma County Independent.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Labor and Social Action Summer School

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Labor of Love

Michael Amsler

Rank and file: Union organizer Mary Frommer and Michael Allen of the North Bay Labor Council hope to spur a new generation of American workers to participate in organized labor activities.

Local union workers and activists join forces for unique ‘summer school’

By David Templeton

UNIONS IN America have had a rough ride the last few decades. Most baby boomers will remember when unions such as the Teamsters and the AFL-CIO held a powerful, visibly high-profile place of honor within the structure of the American workplace; if individual boomers have never been the proud carriers of a union card themselves, then their daddies almost certainly were–at one time or another.

Yet it is arguably the case that 20-somethings have likely passed through the first two decades of their life with no more than a passing awareness of the existence of unions or of the great social gains that were brought about by the unions of their parents’, and grandparents’, day.

After years of diminished power, dwindling membership and government union busting, Proposition 226’s challenge for the right of unions to make campaign contributions without the written consent of the members, and some exceptionally bad press (linking all unionists to the image of crooked teamster Jimmy Hoffa and the like), several unions appear to be feeling the early swells of a new resurgence in numbers. This change is due, in part, to the forging of increasingly vital alliances with other political action groups, including a variety of grassroots organizations with a broad spectrum of goals and social agendas.

In order to foster an even stronger alliance between these groups, a unique three-day training program– the first annual Labor and Social Action Summer School– will commence June 12-14 on the campus at Sonoma State University. The program will include youth, labor, retirees, and community activists hailing from student/youth groups, trade unions, environmental groups, civil rights organizations, and women’s groups. Planned as a series of workshops, seminars, and social events (including an art reception and an evening dance), the event is open to the public, and can be taken for credit through the Sonoma State Extended Education program.

It is modeled after a similar, 10-year-old program at the University of Oregon that has been responsible for an upsurge in successful community protests and labor actions throughout that state.

“This is a labor and social action school that is targeting both rank-and-file union members and labor activists, as well as students and community activists,” explains Mary Frommer, a longtime organizer with the Service Employees International Union, Local 707. “A lot of this is about building community coalitions and connecting union activists with other organized groups in the area,” she adds. “The labor school is designed to give people the tools they need to get involved.”

These tools are specifically intended to aid local community organizations and churches struggling to make a small difference in their own communities.

“I think that people hear about so many situations they can’t really affect,” elaborates Michael Allen, general manager of SEIU Local 707 and president of the North Bay Central Labor Council. “Sometimes we get swamped with all of it. ‘Gee, what can I do about what’s happening in Indonesia? I can’t do anything about what’s happening with the rain forests in Mexico or about what’s going on in Washington.’ What we’re trying to do in the labor school is to show people that there are local opportunities to get involved, to do something meaningful, to make a difference.

“A lot of churches and synagogues have social action committees,” he continues. “This would be a good event for them as well as for the political action groups. Especially useful will be the workshops on understanding local power structures, knowing whom to talk to, how to approach a certain body in order to get something done. That kind of information is invaluable because it allows you to leverage your resources with other available resources in order to accomplish something.

“That, after all, is the essence of politics.”

IT IS VITAL for our future that we find a way to draw young people into the new labor movement,” says Santa Rosa Junior College history professor Marty Bennett– once a union machinist and boilermaker in the San Francisco shipyards–who is helping organize the summer school. He will be leading a Sunday afternoon discussion of lessons learned from the labor movements of the 1930s and 1960s.

“I think students are seeing how problematic their own economic future is,” Bennett suggests, “and how better wages and working conditions–and better control over their working life–can occur when you have a democratic union. So these workshops will be real nuts-and-bolts stuff–skills needed in forming relationships with the media, ways of developing leadership, tools for coalition building–things they can take away with them and begin to apply. That goes for any organization eager to learn new skills in furthering its social action plans.

“I think we are on the cusp of change,” Bennett says. “The scene is set for something new to emerge in the workplace. I’d compare the situation today to the growth of the early ’30s, except that that labor movement–the old American Federation of Labor– wasn’t seeking young people, wasn’t seeking people of color or women or new immigrants.

“And the new labor movement is.”

“There is a growing group of people going into organizing,” Frommer agrees, “not union organizing necessarily, but all kinds of social action. And they’re dealing with a lot of the same questions and issues that we were dealing with when I was young.

“Whenever I get discouraged about the future, I can look to them. We know that struggles are never going to end, we’ll always have struggles; but we can develop new generations of people who are willing to take the struggle on.

“These are the ones,” she grins, “who will continue the fight for a better world.”

The Labor and Social Action Summer School begins Friday, June 12, at 7:30 p.m., with a free-to-the-public presentation by UC Riverside economics professor and author Robert Pollin, and continues Saturday at 9 a.m. with a day of workshops and classes. For more details, call 545-7349, ext. 18.

From the May 28-June 3, 1998 issue of the Sonoma County Independent.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

The Scoop

Cash for Trash

Gubernatorial candidates spend plenty

By Bob Harris

SO THIS IS HOW BAD our electoral system has gotten: It takes a guy spending $30 million out of his own pocket to tell us that there’s too much money flying around political campaigns.

The campaign finance numbers are pretty amazing these days. According to the latest figures compiled by Common Cause, the Democratic and Republican parties have already raised over $90 million in soft money for the 1998 midterm election cycle.

Soft money is the stuff given to the parties by big corporations and special-interest political action committees, and now it’s pouring in fully twice as fast as it did in the last midterm election only four years ago.

So far, the Republicans have about 62 percent more money than the Democrats. Anyhow, here in California, we’ve got a Democratic primary for governor where the leading candidates are two career politicians, Jane Harman and Grey Davis, and a really rich guy named Al Checchi. It’s the most expensive primary in history.

Naturally, Harman and Davis are upset at the prospect of a guy with no political experience, numerous possible conflicts of interest, and little history of even showing up to vote suddenly trying to buy the governor’s mansion. In response, Checchi accuses his opponents of owing political favors to contributors.

For once, much of the mud slung in a political race is actually true and useful. How bizarre.

So the other day Checchi goes one step further, sounding strangely like Ralph Nader. At a campaign appearance in the L.A. suburb of Alhambra, Checchi finally says, “Don’t you think it is kind of ridiculous that we would pick our leaders based on who has hung around long enough to create this Rolodex to raise money?”

Yes, Al, I do. And I also think it’s equally ridiculous that the only competition our system provides is from really, really rich guys like yourself.

As it happens, Checchi goes on to propose some real honest-to-goodness reforms, although that’s no real shock, since his tailspinning campaign has roughly zero credibility with working people, so he has to do something.

And I’ll just count my state fortunate for having at least one candidate saying some of the right stuff, for whatever reason.

OK, SO THE INDIANS tested the Bomb last week. I’m referring, of course, to the India Indians, the ones with the Ganges and Gandhi and the Aloo Gobi. Not the American Indians. If the American Indians had the Bomb, then we’d have something serious to worry about.

If the American Indians were testing the Bomb, we’d be on our knees just praying that all that casino money hasn’t been pooled together to get some payback for the blankets with the cholera. The best deal Clinton could probably cut would be to give up Cleveland. Which is fair, what with the Chief Wahoo thing and all.

But not to worry. The American Indians don’t have the Bomb. They’ve got plenty of radiation, but they don’t have the Bomb.

The India Indians have the Bomb. And that’s a problem, certainly, but let’s not overreact. Everybody knew they had the bomb. India got the Bomb a full decade before any of us got cable. And we know which one has done a lot more damage so far.

OK, so Pakistan is probably going to run a couple of tests in response. It pretty much has to, for the same reason pickup trucks in Texas have a gun rack: you don’t get carjacked when you’re obviously packing. But that doesn’t mean they’re planning to drive into the bad part of town.

Let’s get a grip here. It’s nice to daydream that the fall of the Berlin Wall was the end of the nuclear era, but that has never been anything close to the truth. Which is why the G-8 turned down Clinton’s calls for sanctions against India.

(The G-8, by the way, isn’t a vegetable drink. It’s the leadership of the eight leading industrialized nations. Which probably still includes a lot of vegetables, especially if Yeltsin shows up.) The G-8 is comprised entirely of active nuclear powers, except for (a) Canada, which is too polite to nuke anybody anyway; (b) Japan, which already got blown up; and (c) Italy, which doesn’t make any bombs.

So there’s good reason why the G-8 cocktail won’t swallow sanctions on India: it would be ludicrous on its face. Look around. The French tested weapons in the South Pacific just a few years ago. The Brits and Russians aren’t blowing things up, but they’re still doing research on how. And the United States leads the world in ongoing nuclear development, spending billions of dollars every year on computer simulation tests that are almost as good as actual kablooies.

The Lawrence Livermore labs are only a few hours’ drive from where I sit here writing this. And still the newsclones nearby are furrowing their brows, pretending that India and only India is responsible for the continued existence of a nuclear threat.

Hey, the United States implicitly threatened to start a nuclear war in Iraq just three months ago, and suddenly we get all preachy when somebody else just runs a test. Doesn’t anybody ever remember anything anymore? Is three months too much to expect?

Of course, if we elected our public officials for having good memories, they wouldn’t have to keep telling prosecutors that they can’t recall.

From the May 28-June 3, 1998 issue of the Sonoma County Independent.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Recreation Fees

Pay for Play


Michael Amsler

Pay per view: “Benefits that are widely enjoyed by large numbers of the public,” says Sierra Club chairman Mike McCloskey, “and that are not essentially commercial in nature, should be supported from general taxes.”

Are new recreational user fees a last-gasp solution to budget cuts or a Trojan horse for corporate interests?

By Christopher Weir

WITH THE RECREATION season unfolding across California and beyond, outdoor enthusiasts should brace themselves for broadening surcharges affixed to Mother Nature. Such is the new reality forged by the Recreation Fee Demonstration Program, a mandate through which federal land-management agencies are collecting “user” fees for recreation experiences.

And while this program is being packaged as a last-gasp solution to budget cuts and maintenance backlogs, critics suggest that it is instead a Trojan horse through which the privately funded American Recreation Coalition and other commercial interests will colonize public lands.

“Access to public lands is being manipulated for the benefit of sports equipment manufacturers, campground associations, and motorized user groups,” says Scott Silver, executive director of Wild Wilderness, an Oregon-based environmental group. “The fee demonstration program is ARC’s latest step toward taking control of America’s recreational policies.

“And this is the summer when, if the public accepts pay-for-play, it will become the law of the land.”

Retorts ARC President Derrick Crandall, “I would question the motives of people who would criticize something as aboveboard and simple as trying to protect the existence of such things as adequate trail maintenance programs, interpretive programs, and trash cleanup at public beaches and campgrounds.”

Authorized by Congress in 1996 and now entering its second year of implementation, the Recreation Fee Demonstration Program is jointly administered by the U.S. Forest Service, U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service, Bureau of Land Management, and National Park Service. The four-year program is seen as a potential model or touchstone for more permanent fee legislation. In addition to supporting resource conservation, interpretive efforts, and general maintenance, the fee program also aspires to “enhance” visitor facilities, a goal that some suggest is doublespeak for heightened development of public lands.

According to the U.S. Forest Service, the agency’s participation in the fee program “is occurring through a Challenge Cost Share partnership with the American Recreation Coalition.”

The ARC represents a broad membership, including the American Bus Association, American Forests, Walt Disney Co., American Horse Association, Coleman Co., Motorcycle Industry Council, National Ski Areas Association, and Yamaha Motor Corp. Associate members include Exxon Co. USA and the American Petroleum Institute.

Both ARC and the Forest Service emphasize that the coalition’s role in the program is not operational, but rather limited to communications materials, media interface, technical assistance, and public surveys. Crandall adds that ARC’s official partnership role will end at the close of the fiscal year.

Crandall says that ARC’s advocacy of recreation fees is simply one of many tools that the coalition is employing to preserve recreational opportunities amid the harsh realities of faltering federal land-management budgets and decreasing timber revenues.

“I see the fee program as the only way to keep a viable federal back-country program alive and well,” he says, noting that Forest Service recreation budgets at the ranger district level have been shrinking steadily over the past 10 years. “Unless there’s money to support the hiring of people to do everything from maintaining trails to monitoring environmental impacts to ensuring safety,” he says, “I’m not sure how one would expect backcountry–as well as front-country–recreation to continue.”

Counters Silver, “The amount of money that’s required to keep these programs functional is something that Congress has always felt was appropriate to allocate from existing taxes. But more recently, ‘wise use’ legislators [pro-business interests operating under the guise of environmentalists] have defunded these programs and created a deliberate maintenance crisis on federally managed recreation lands and facilities.”

THE INTENDED outcome of that crisis, Silver says, is “the rescue of a decaying public system by private investors and corporate sponsors.” He says that new revenues generated by user fees will be increasingly manipulated by commercial interests through the public-private partnership process, ultimately intensifying developmental demands on public lands and paving the way for “industrial-strength” recreation.

To demonstrate his concerns, Silver cites a Forest Service “desk guide” on public-private ventures that states, among other things, “Traditional views of what types of facilities are appropriate on National Forests . . . may need to be reevaluated. For instance, to provide a viable business opportunity it may be necessary to consider amenities such as showers and telephones, or additional sources of revenue such as laundries, electrical hookups, or camp stores, that are not traditionally associated with Forest Service campgrounds.”

Says Silver, “The real importance of user fees at this point is as a referendum. Will we be able to treat public lands as a commodity? Is it OK to take raw nature and turn it into something we can now market and sell to you as products?”

But Greg Super, a Forest Service recreation staff economist, suggests that such premonitions are misguided. “Are we going to shift everything to the highly developed side?” he says. “The answer is no. Maintaining and preserving the integrity of the backcountry is a real strength of the Forest Service.”

The most tangible threats to wilderness integrity today are population growth and heightened backcountry recreation, Super adds. The National Forest System saw 800 million visits last year. In 40 years, that figure is expected to reach 1.2 billion.

“Just because you have a backcountry location doesn’t mean there aren’t costs involved in managing it,” Super says. “What we’re saying is we need to generate additional fees–especially if they stay locally–to provide services for folks who value these areas pretty highly.”

Unlike previous fee systems, in which revenues were largely hijacked by the Treasury, 80 percent of the fees accrued by a forest or park unit participating in the demonstration program will be applied directly to that unit. The remaining 20 percent will be distributed to other units in the region.

Sierra Club chairman Mike McCloskey agrees that user fees can be appropriate on public lands, but only under specialized circumstances. “In general, the more a use has adverse impacts on the environment–off-road vehicle use, for example–the more it ought to be regulated and limited and taxed in some way to pay for the costs of that control and rehabilitation,” he says.

“But benefits that are widely enjoyed by large numbers of the public, and that are not essentially commercial in nature, should be supported from general taxes, as they have been traditionally.”

Ultimately, the scorched-earth political climate may leave embattled Forest Service officials little choice but to increasingly develop recreation as a major source of budgetary revenues. In a recent letter to U.S. Forest Service chief Michael Dombeck, for example, Frank Murkowski and Don Young–chairmen, respectively, of the Senate Committee on Energy and Natural Resources and the House Committee on Resources–accused Dombeck of being “bent on producing fewer and fewer results from the National Forests at rapidly increasing costs.”

The letter also leveled thinly veiled threats to gut the agency and reduce its role to “custodial management” of national forests.

According to Silver, such threats represent a legislative malevolence toward public lands that, in tandem with commercial lobbying and partnerships, may usher in a new era of corporate ecology.

“It used to be that nature on public lands could be left undeveloped so that people could enjoy and explore it without having to consume products,” he says. “But as soon as people are used to the idea that you don’t go out to simply enjoy nature anymore, but rather to pay for some sort of experience, then you can bet that there will be lots of things for which we’ll be paying.”

From the May 21-27, 1998 issue of the Sonoma County Independent.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

John Mayall

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True Blues

Matthew Welch


After three decades John Mayall is still happy to be singing the blues

By David Templeton

SO THERE IT WAS. Smack dab in the middle of Rolling Stone magazine’s recent 30th anniversary issue: a slick 20-page pull-out section devoted to the mighty musical institution known as the blues.

Perhaps you saw it.

Titled “The Blues Today,” the surprisingly slender insert showcases old-timers Buddy Guy, John Lee Hooker, Koko Taylor, Bobby “Blue” Bland, and B.B. King; relative newcomers Robert Cray, Jon Spencer, and 10-year-old phenom Jonny Lang, and a pair of wild cards in Keith Richards and Bonnie Raitt. There is even a brisk compendium of 25 classic blues albums, an “essential blues library.”

Now, to those with only a beginner’s knowledge of the blues, this Cliff’s Notes treatment is a reasonably acceptable first taste. But to any true blues aficionado, the glaring omissions and glib summations of giant careers are enough to give them … the blues.

Case in point: John Mayall–the revered blues innovator and legendary progenitor of the white-boy British blues–whose band, the Bluesbreakers, has at one time or another contained such names as Mick Fleetwood, Mick Taylor, Peter Green, John McVie, Coco Montoya, and Eric Clapton. The sole Mayall reference in the Stone piece is the inclusion of the classic 1966 record Bluesbreakers–John Mayall with Eric Clapton, the album that launched Clapton’s career yet was great mainly because of Mayall’s magnificently soulful feel for the medium and his sly, non- conformist style of blues songwriting.

The Stone‘s teensy blurb barely even mentions Mayall at all.

“That’s the Rolling Stone for you,” reacts Mayall casually, his lilting Cheshire accent melting into an unconcerned and slightly raspy laugh. “They have typically ignored me my entire career. It pisses me off a little, really; I don’t understand it at all. I have recorded 40 albums. My life and career doesn’t just hang on one certain something I did 25 years ago with Eric Clapton.”

Mayall’s life and career have inspired countless musicians, and not only blues bands: the members of Green Day have repeatedly stated that their earliest inspiration was Mayall and the Bluesbreakers.

“Maybe in another 20 years,” Mayal says, with another cheerful chuckle, “when I’m the oldest living white practitioner of the blues. What I know is that I’ve kept the highest standard I can possibly come up with, in the way of originality and good musicianship and all those things that make for a lasting piece of music.

“I’m just very happy to have been allowed to do that, and of course it’s good to have a legion of worldwide fans who’ve made it possible for me to make a good enough living. I’ve gotten wonderful support on the road all these years, so Rolling Stone or no, I’m really not complaining.”

JOHN MAYALL was born in 1933, in the small town of Macclesfield, England, and grew up amid the turmoil of World War II. As a teenager, an avid student of the piano, he first encountered the blues. In the complete absence of blues players in England at that time, Mayall taught himself to play boogie-woogie, emulating the sounds he picked up from his growing collection of albums from the States.

In college, where he studied graphic arts, Mayall formed his first blues band, playing mainly during lunch breaks for whatever amazed collection of students showed up to listen. After graduation, he found a job as a graphic designer and played music at night. By 1963, at the age of 30, Mayall was no longer able to resist a life devoted to the music that first inspired him; he moved to London, cut his first solo album, and shortly thereafter started a new band: the Bluesbreakers.

By 1968, when he relocated once again–this time to Los Angeles, where he’s lived ever since–Mayall had established himself as the foremost British practitioner of the blues. His innovative arrangements, iconoclastic songwriting, and high, expressive tenor voice all seemed, with each new album, to push the boundaries of the medium, while never straying too far from the identifiable blues sound. His latest album, the strikingly personal Blues for the Lost Days (Silvertone Records), is quite possibly the best of his career. Mayall’s still- surprising songwriting sensibility–his choice of subject matter is unlikely to be found in the songs of many other blues singers–is at work in every single cut, from his grateful celebration of his mother’s love (“One in a Million”) to the autobiographical “All Those Heroes” (a musical list of all the great bluesmen who’ve inspired him) and a pleasantly unexpected historical musing on the terrors of trench warfare during World War I (“The Trenches”).

THE OBJECT of blues music is to be saying something original,” Mayall offers, explaining his tendency to come up with such unexpected themes in his work. “I’m not here to be treading old ground, or to be doing secondhand versions of songs the masters have done before, and can’t be copied anyway.”

Some fear that the pure, original blues sound created by Buddy Guy and the like will soon be lost forever.

Mayall isn’t worried.

“Styles change over time, they’re bound to,” he says, reassuringly. “The blues of the ’20s doesn’t sound much like the electrified blues that came along in the postwar years. The sound shifted with the times. The main thing,” he continues, “is that there’s a continuing line that runs through all the blues, whatever the particular style may be. Sure, we’ll never get another Johnny Lee Hooker, because people of that age and generation are unique. But at the same time there are new artists, great blues players, that are going to be recognized as unique because they don’t sound like anyone else.”

With one last chuckle, John Mayall adds, “And I count myself as one of those.”

John Mayall and the Bluesbreakers will be playing at the Russian River Blues Festival on Saturday, June 6, at Johnson’s Beach in Guerneville. Tickets are available from BASS or by calling 869-4100.

From the May 21-27, 1998 issue of the Sonoma County Independent.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Usual Suspects

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Cyber Campaigns

Political candidates now tout themselves on their own websites

Edited by Greg Cahill

POLITICAL brochures and billboards are all well and good, but as more registered voters are beginning to migrate online, local election hopefuls are experimenting with a new campaign tool. The latest premise is: If you wanna get ahead in the polls, you better get a website, and fast.

But hold on! A list of dry declarations on the key issues and a formulaic biography won’t quite cut it. Candidates are finding they need something jazzier with full-scale color photos scanned to perfection– the bigger the better. (Don’t forget some shots of family members and pets.) Oh, and throw in some animated graphics and a virtual collection box for campaign contributions. Now we’re talking.

A quick perusal of Petalumanet’s Web guide to the upcoming elections reveals some interesting, and a couple of fairly wacky, Web pages.

Several candidates in the packed race for 2nd District supervisor have jostled their way online with a vengeance. In an electronic attempt to attract voters, Petaluma Councilwomen and Nancy Read; Petaluma Police Sgt. Mike Kerns; and Petaluma Attorney Dave King have all installed their own election sites.

page is actually a virtual version of her printed brochure, including background information on the councilwoman and a list of her endorsers. There’s a cute black-and-white photo of a smiling Hamilton gazing skywards (a bit like Mary Tyler Moore but without the airborne hat) and plenty of other photos, too. The website is organized, informative, and easy to navigate with plenty of links.

Nancy Read‘s website is a one-page affair with no links except e-mail. It features one black-and-white head shot, Read’s résumé, and a list of her priority issues. “We need her diverse experience on the Board of Supervisors,” notes a quote in boldface–but the statement is not attributed to anyone. Technologically, this is not a very exciting site.

Dave King‘s page is a well-organized package. His site has areas where you can “find out more about Dave and his family,” read his speeches and press releases, and check up on where he’s going to be speaking. The site also boasts good icons, photos, and useful links to the Petaluma Electronic Network and Project Vote Smart.

It is Mike Kerns, though, who has gone all-out with his Web page. (Extra kudos for the animated flag, sergeant.) In addition to all the regular voter information, Kerns has included several special sections. Click onto “Kids for Kerns” and you’ll find a club for young Kerns fans, plus messages from Kerns’ children urging voters to pick papa. “I really want my dad to win this election,” writes his high school freshman daughter. “My dad cares about people, especially kids. I hope you’ll tell your parents to vote for him,” loyally adds his 9-year-old son.

Click on a section called “Kwik Kerns,” and under “Interests and Activities” you’ll learn that Kerns sings with the Pigtones–a police department singing group–and that in 1967 he was the “Golden Cloves” boxing champion–which makes this the spiciest site by far. Under the section called “Mike’s Favorite Links,” you’ll find links to several other websites, including Drug Abuse Resistance Education and the Elks Lodge.

One address–http://petalumanet.com/links/–gains access to all these websites.

At press time, there was not a cyber peep from remaining 2nd District candidates Rohnert Park Mayor Linda Spiro, certified public accountant Kathleen Doyle, and state investigator Gary Johnson. Over in the 4th District, incumbent Paul Kelley and challengers community activist Bill Patterson and attorney Bill Smith also appear to be out of the Internet loop.

Only candidate Gregory Wonderwheel, a deputy public conservator, has his own web page. This comprehensive site, which he calls “Campaign Central on the Web,” includes Wonderwheel’s statements and policies, information on the candidates’ debates, and lots of curious links (from the Sierra Club and the Sonoma County ACLU to the Ally McBeal Archives and The X-Files). Our favorite Wonderwheel Web quote: “I’m not just running against Paul Kelley, I stand for something.”

Now, if we all log on and get campaign surfin’, can all you candidates just promise us we won’t end up being spammed with political junk mail?

From the May 21-27, 1998 issue of the Sonoma County Independent.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Talking Pictures

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Big Bang


Ellen Dahl

Ever lovin’: Linda Jaivin finds most things, including asteroids, sexy.



Aussie eroticist aroused by ‘Deep Impact’

By David Templeton

In his ongoing quest for the ultimate post-film conversation, David Templeton discusses interesting movies with interesting people. This time out, he gets eroticist Linda Jaivin’s loving reaction to the comet flick Deep Impact.

ASIDE FROM the occasional overworked geologist, there are probably few people on Earth who’d claim that a rock–even a huge flaming one hurtling through space–could be accurately described as “sexy.” Sure, poets and songwriters have always found the natural world to be full of erotic imagery: ripe, phallic fruit; vulvalike flowers; dark, overpowering waters; lush, steaming jungles. In fact, to a practiced eroticist, there’s probably very little in the universe that isn’t sexy.

Even so, the very notion of an asteroid as a symbol of sexual energy and blind, unrestrained desire seems a bit of a stretch. But not to Linda Jaivin.

“Asteroids are very sexy!” insists the Australian- based author, stepping from a darkened San Francisco theater where we’ve just seen the film Deep Impact (a neat new thriller about a killer comet aimed at Earth, the astronauts who hope to blow it up, and the last-minute actions of various humans attempting to prepare for extinction). “Asteroids and comets are all force and energy and heat and motion!” Jaivin exclaims. “It’s not difficult to see the sexiness there at all!”

Jaivin, who enjoyed the film–“I swear I never breathed once during that whole impact-tidal wave scene,” she merrily recalls, “though I’m disappointed no one tried to surf the tidal wave”–is the author who created an international publishing sensation with last year’s riotous, comic-erotic Eat Me, which the ever-upright New York Times refused to review because of its scandalous title. Now, having made fruit-fetishism the topic of worldwide conversation, Jaivin is back with Rock ‘n’ Roll Babes from Outer Space. An outlandishly delightful, X-rated science- fiction fantasy, the new book–in which three sexually adventurous aliens become Earth’s greatest rock band–reads like the insatiable literary love child of Douglas Addams, Kurt Vonnegut, and Susie Bright.

It is no surprise that asteroids figure prominently in the book as well.

“Eros!” Jaivin laughs, naming the wildly lustful asteroid who follows the babes through space, with fantasies of someday colliding into Earth. “Eros is big! He’s hormonal. He’s young, and he’s only experienced one good party his whole life–and that was the planetary explosion that gave birth to him in the first place. Since then he’s been consigned to orbit Mars, which is dusty and boring, with no chance of getting any sex at all.”

“Asteroidal sex,” I point out, “is not a concept most people are familiar with.”

“Not only can people not believe I’ve anthropomorphized an asteroid,” Jaivin laughs, taking a seat (we’ve arrived, appropriately enough, at the Hard Rock Cafe), “they can’t believe I’ve given him a sex life.

“Asteroid sex, of course, is when they collide with one another,” she explains. “In the asteroid belt there are constant collisions. This is what keeps them going. They love it. “

“A punk rock thing,” I observe.

“A punk thing, exactly,” she laughs. “The asteroid belt is a bit of a mosh in space. And Eros–no other asteroids will collide with him! So he gets no action whatsoever. He’s very, very frustrated.

“And then he starts imagining colliding into Earth– the ultimate asteroidal orgasm, to, you know, plunge into Earth’s soft surface, to penetrate to her core. To make a deep, deep impact.

“I’ll say something else about Eros,” she adds. “He’s an actual asteroid. Eros 433 is an actual asteroid. I discovered it while I was doing research for the book, in June of 1996. This asteroid, scientists have discovered, is likely to break out of its orbit somewhere between 150,000 and 1.5 million years from now–and will probably come crashing into Earth. And it will have a much bigger impact than the one in the movie certainly, and probably bigger than the one that killed the dinosaurs.”

“So the world may eventually end in one immense asteroidal orgasm,” I marvel.

“Oh, absolutely!” Jaivin giggles. “And isn’t it just wonderful?”

Our lunch arrives, and Jaivin pushes Altoid, her green teddy-bear purse, out of the way to make room for her hamburger.

“I was thinking,” she says, reaching for the ketchup, “about all those space movies full of aliens that flourished in the 1950s, during the Cold War. We all know that they were really about our anxiety regarding communism–with the aliens standing in as communists, waiting to take over and eat our brains.

“But now it’s a different kind of fear we’re experiencing,” she continues, whacking the ketchup bottle on its rear. “It’s a millennial nervousness we’ve got now. It’s a fear of global warming, the melting of the icecaps, too many CFCs released into the air, and all that.

“It’s a feeling that nature is waiting to get us, because we’ve gotten nature. This film today reflected that kind of anxiety, don’t you think? The natural forces of the universe have suddenly become a malicious, life-destroying force. If the aliens were a stand-in for Russians, the meteor is a stand-in for nature.”

She stares at the unyielding bottle.

“I’m not making much of an impact here, am I?” she murmurs. “Perhaps I should stick something up it?” She picks up her knife and probes the neck of the bottle with it. “As an erotic novelist, you’d think I’d know things like this,” she laughs, as the ketchup finally gushes forth.

We launch into a discussion of the lottery shown in the film, determining which Americans will be allowed to survive the comet’s “extinction level” collision by living for two years in deep limestone caves. As the buses leave for the caves, people agonizingly wrestle with giving up their seat for others. There are many tearful goodbyes.

“And did you notice,” Jaivin mentions, “that no one said, ‘Hey! I’ll never see you again, the comet is almost here, so let’s just fuck one last time?’

“I mean really!” she laughs. “If I were about to die in a massive tidal wave, I’d want to go out with a smile on my face, know what I mean?”

From the May 21-27, 1998 issue of the Sonoma County Independent.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

The Scoop

Illusion of Beauty

The dangers of faking it

By Bob Harris

BEAUTY MAY ONLY BE in the eye of the beholder, but that doesn’t mean people won’t just about kill themselves trying to catch that eye in the first place.

I live in West Hollywood, where some folks have had so many face-lifts they share the same general expression as a largemouth bass. The Diet Foods section at the corner grocery always has one or two of these unblinking lizard-women noses that appear to have come from an entirely different edition than the rest of their head. It’s like Microsoft just released its copy of Face 2.0 and didn’t get all of the update disks.

We guys have it pretty easy when it comes to appearances. All we have to be is anatomically correct, willing to listen, and not insane, and most women are willing to talk to us. Appearance counts, but basically, if you’re free of parasites and not naked, you’ve got a shot at it. Women, on the other hand, face ludicrous standards of beauty. It’s not enough for Playboy and Penthouse to spend gazillions scouring the planet for genetic mutations they can repackage in spandex; then they gotta retouch the pictures, transforming the unlikely into the completely impossible.

As a performer, I’ve met a few of these girls over the years, and while they’re lovely and all, they’re usually not nearly as comfortable with themselves in 3D. With good reason. They’re no big deal. Frankly, the lady who delivers my mail is a lot more attractive, although her wardrobe seems pretty limited.

Centerfolds in men’s magazines ought to come with warnings, like cigarette packages: The Surgeon General Has Determined That These Women Do Not Exist.

But never mind. We still strive. There’s underwear to make small parts look bigger and big parts look smaller. There are implants and nose jobs and even rib-removal surgery.

Trouble is, you can really hurt yourself looking good. Excessive exercise often causes severe injury. Surgeries go wrong. Fen-Phen can kill.

And now we discover that high-heeled shoes can ruin your knees. According to research out of Harvard Medical School, even 2.5-inch pumps, worn regularly, apparently double the risk of arthritis of the knee.

I know a girl who says she always wears spike heels because a tottering, mincing walk brings out a guy’s protective instincts. But think how vulnerable she’ll look in 20 years when she can’t even walk down the street.

Maybe she can find a pair of black stiletto crutches. Gee, I feel protective already.

Or maybe, when we evaluate beauty, we can all try to honor the same oath that a lot of L.A. plastic surgeons seem to have long forgotten:

First, do no harm.

FOR ONCE, some good news about sports arenas: It looks as though people around the country are finally starting to figure out that you can’t really rebuild a faltering economy, sustain a growing middle class, attract long-term investment, and improve a city’s schools by … building a baseball stadium.

If you read the sports pages, you know that franchises in every major sport have recently become less an end in themselves than bargaining chips in a bigger game: stadium swindling on a megabasis. Owners hold their own teams as hostages, demanding a ransom of hundreds of millions of dollars in public money–which in turn is spent on new ballparks equipped with state-of-the-art skyboxes, scoreboards that can show TV commercials, high-tech signage, etc., all of which improves an owner’s income far more than a community’s.

Field of Schemes (Common Courage Press), a new book by Joanna Cagan and Neil deMause, chronicles a lot of the real horror stories: backroom deals, handouts to billionaires as public schools collapse, historic stadiums torn down thanks to faked engineering reports, and worse. It turns out that a lot of sports owners might talk a good game about the free market, but without massive public subsidies, they’d have trouble making a dollar.

But, finally, there’s good news: voters are finally figuring out the scam. In recent months, the good folks of Pittsburgh have said no to a tax increase for a new ballpark. And in Minnesota, where the Twins are threatening a move to Charlotte, voters and fans have refused to fork over. In response, the Twins ownership escalated their threats. Until last week, anyway, when the fans down in Charlotte gave the Twins a kiss-off as well. So the Twins are staying put.

Teamwork: It’s the only way fans are ever going to win the big game.

From the May 21-27, 1998 issue of the Sonoma County Independent.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

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