Britney Spears and Pepsi

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Sex & Spears

Taking the Britney and Bob challenge

By Lara Riscol

ONCE UPON a time, a little blond Baptist girl from Louisiana busts into international stardom, snagging the biggest ever, multiyear sponsorship pact with a ruling cola conglomerate. The teen queen named Britney Spears hits Forbes’ Top 10 list of most powerful celebrities, pushing Bruce Willis, Michael Jordan, and Oprah Winfrey down the fame-and-money ladder.

“I have strong morals. I believe in God. I’m saving myself for marriage,” chants the self-proclaimed virgin as she strips, struts, gyrates, and thrusts in a belly- and boob-baring getup, while singing “I’m not so innocent.” The mass marketing of Britney inspires fashion trends for pre-pubescent girls and teen slut websites for, well, everyone, everywhere. Shortly after the rising Lolita graduates from the Mickey Mouse Club, a geriatric senator named Bob Dole runs for U.S. president.

Coached by the religious right, the Republican candidate preaches abstinence-only as America’s answer to teen pregnancy, abortion, and STDs. During elections Congress passes the Welfare Reform Act, laying out nearly a half billion dollars to scare American youth to keep their legs shut and pants zipped. The federal and state funding feeds a bulging born-again virgin movement and spawns Christian-run programs that decree sex within marriage as the “standard for human sexuality.”

Conservative Bob loses the presidential race, but soon scores a lucrative Viagra advertising deal. The former chastity champion now peddles the little blue pill that permits him to once again get it up and ride strong after prostate surgery and nearly 80 years on the planet.

Bob meets Britney when the abstinence stud and virginal slut team to peddle his latest little blue friend, the Pepsi can. For those of you who missed the trio’s commercial debut, the spot is hot. Britney strips; then, with her dance troupe of workers, romps through a warehouse in faded hip-hugger jeans and white bustier, with flashes of her pierced belly and pushed-up bosom. Cut to a fast-food cook standing before the TV staring, jaw dropped, while food sizzles on the grill behind and Britney sizzles on the screen before him. The ad climaxes with Bob, too, overheating as he grins and shakes his head, then says, “Easy boy” to his barking dog or, maybe, his Viagra-triggered member.

We’re all titillated. The ad is so fun, fast, and sexy that I’m a Pepsi convert, and I don’t even drink cola except now and then with rum. I’m a Britney fan, and I loathe her music. I’ve also warmed to Bob and his dry sense of humor.

BUT, ALAS, this story is not about me but about the next Pepsi generation growing up hostage to America’s schizophrenic approach to sex. Teens are the casualties in a culture war that reduces our basest, most transcendent drive to extremes. Youth are left to flounder under the intensified hypocrisy and mixed messages of a nation that can’t move beyond sexuality’s marital ideal or commodified reality.

Federal policy says teens shouldn’t have sex, but commerce bombards us with half-naked nymphets hawking the latest magazine, music, movie, video game, gadget, fashion. Amid the sexual gluttony of our media and marketplace, church and government brazenly pull information from youth and push chastity until marriage, calling it balance. I call it paradoxical. Neither excess nor repression develops into sexual intimacy or connection, let alone responsibility.

Bob’s right-wing cohorts undercut sex education and family planning to protect kids’ innocence. Abstinence-only programs are up 3,000 percent since 1996. President George W. has proposed increased abstinence funding, fulfilling his campaign pledge to make nonmarital chastity a priority, at least for others. His brother, Florida Governor Jeb, is reallocating $1 million of family planning funds into the pregnant pot of abstinence-only programs, about half now headed by Christian groups.

Meanwhile, Britney and team milk her god-given attributes to mobilize armies of budding wannabes by sanitizing her sexuality, and legions of horny men by fetishizing her purity. Pimping its teen gold mine, PepsiWorld.com spotlights her gyrating torso, cropped just under the crotch, just over the breasts, not unlike her bastard-sister porn sites. Coke has recruited fellow Mouseketeer alum Christina Aguilera to go tit to tit with Britney in the cola wars starting in May, and the media are already manufacturing the rivalry between the “soda pop princesses.”

The moral of this story is muddy except that I should have purchased Pepsi stock before the Britney deal. Maybe teens can’t have sex, but adults can package teen sex to sell goods and keep our economy strong. Or if you’re single, and especially under 20, you can peddle sexuality, but you can’t piddle your paddle.

Possibly the moral is that we should either admit teenagers are sexual beings–who shouldn’t be denied information and access needed to make healthy decisions–or stop leering at them while sipping our Pepsi. But that’s just a fantasy.

Lara Riscol is writing ‘Ten Sex Myths That Screw America,’ a book she began while completing a master’s degree in contemporary issues and public policy at the University of Denver. This is the second in a two-part series on soda pop and society.

From the May 3-9, 2001 issue of the Northern California Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Wine Myths

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Myth Busters

The truth about wine

By Bob Johnson

MYTHS abound in virtually all aspects of our business and personal lives. You have to have money to make money. An apple a day keeps the doctor away. A good defense will beat a good offense every time. Most myths possess at least a shred of truth, and often are closer to being correct than incorrect; they’re just hardly ever entirely accurate. And, generally speaking, these assumptions and assertions are harmless. So it is in the world of wine, where Champagne labeled “extra dry” actually is quite sweet, and where consumers put more faith in highly subjective numeric ratings than in their own taste buds.

Allow me a few inches of newsprint to bust a few of the more common vinous myths. Also, with that thread-of-truth caveat in mind, allow me to recommend an equal number of myth perpetuators.

Myth No. 1: Vineyard-designated wines are superior to other wines. A vineyard designation, in and of itself, is no guarantee of quality, let alone superiority. I’ll grab a bottle of “California” cabernet from one of the giant wine “factories” over a “Gila Monster Hill Vineyard” offering from Bakersfield any day of the week.

A vineyard-designated wine simply offers the aromas and flavors of the grapes grown in a particular vineyard–the good, the bad, and the smelly.

Candid vintners will tell you that most vineyard-designated wines could have been improved by at least some blending, and that once the nuances imparted by oak barrels become a part of the wine, most of the distinctive vineyard characteristics are neutralized.

There is one commonality that almost all vineyard-designated wines share, however: a premium price.

Myth Perpetuator No. 1–Chateau St. Jean 1998 Robert Young Vineyard Chardonnay, Alexander Valley ($25). When the chardonnay grapes grown in the Robert Young Vineyard are subjected to malolactic fermentation, they produce a liquid that tastes more like imitation butter-drenched popcorn than wine.

So winemaker Steve Reeder transforms this delicate fruit into a non-malolactic wine, big on fruit and spices, that earns critical praise even in challenging vintages. Rating: 3.5 corks (out of 4).

Myth No. 2: “Old Vine” zinfandel is superior to zin grown in less venerable vineyards. While it’s true that older vines tend to produce smaller yields and grapes with more concentrated flavors, there is no guarantee that these flavors will be “better.”

Furthermore, there is no agreed-upon definition of “Old Vine.” Much like human age, “old” depends on the image one holds. To an 18-year-old, 40 years sounds ancient. To a 40-year-old, 65 years may represent the beginning of one’s second carefree youth.

Myth Perpetuation No. 2–Pedroncelli 1997 Pedroni-Bushnell Vineyard Zinfandel, Dry Creek Valley ($15). While this wine is not promoted as an “Old Vine” zin, the vineyard that produced it dates back more than half a century.

The wine is rich and intense, with lots of berry (black, rasp, and boysen) and black pepper flavor. Ideal alongside a pepperoni pizza or barbecued fare. Rating: 4 corks.

Myth No. 3: “Reserve” wines are superior to “regular” bottlings. As is the case with the term “Old Vine,” there is no mandated or generally accepted definition of “Reserve” or its many permutations, including “Private Reserve,” “Cellar Reserve,” “Winemaker’s Reserve,” and so on. Often, but not always, “Reserve” wines spend more time in oak barrels than “regular” wines do. Because barrels are expensive, prolonged oak aging can significantly inflate the wine’s price. (It also can overwhelm the fruit flavors, but that’s another story.)

Myth Perpetuation No. 3–Windsor Vineyards 1997 Private Reserve Cabernet Sauvignon, Russian River Valley ($20.50). An excellent wine from an exceptional vintage, with subtle vanillin oak framing a solid core of luscious cherry/berry fruit. Given the quality, a relative bargain (especially for a “Reserve” wine). Rating: 4 corks.

AS I ENTER the home stretch of this exercise in myth busting and perpetuating, allow me to recommend a twin-myther: Dry Creek Vineyard’s 1999 Reserve Fumé Blanc ($18). Not only does the “Reserve” designation carry no meaning, but neither does the “Fumé Blanc” name. Fumé Blanc is a phrase concocted by Robert Mondavi, a vintner who has been around longer than most “Old Vine” zinfandel vines. It’s simply another name for sauvignon blanc, although some (but not all) wineries invoke it to imply sauvignon blanc aged in oak. This twin-myther was, indeed, aged in oak barrels–both French and American–for eight months. But there’s still plenty of fruit flavor, along with an alluring floral aroma provided by the addition of a dollop of viognier to the blend. Rating: 3.5 corks.

Here’s one final myth for the road; it is perhaps the most common, and least accurate, wine myth of all: Price equates with quality.

From the May 3-9, 2001 issue of the Northern California Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Nortec Collective

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Break Beats

Techno meets mariachi on new CD

By Karl Byrn

ELECTRONIC dance music failed to conquer the pop charts in the late ’90s, but may yet have the last laugh as the preferred medium for global pop-music innovation. Techno now takes the place of rock and hip-hop as the universal link, offering a template for hybrid sounds of modern culture that can be heard worldwide on TV commercials, at underground raves, and throughout current rock and R&B hits.

Latin music has also recently entranced the world-pop ear. In California, a Rock en Español movement has generated moderate heat in recent years. So it’s no surprise to hear a dance disc like The Tijuana Sessions, Vol. 1 (Palm Pictures), by Nortec Collective, a batch of tracks that stews feisty regional border sounds with hip club-culture groove, all by young artists from a city most Americans only associate with cheap tourism and tequila hangovers.

The disc’s jacket boasts the accurate claim that “Nortec Collective is not a genre or a group . . . but an entire electronic aesthetic. Nortec stands for norteno-techno; Tech-Mex cut and paste; the convergence of high-tech, low-tech, and traditional northern Mexican music.” Simply put, this is techno-meets-mariachi/salsa. In recent world-pop terms, the nearest precedent is the 1997 British compilation Anokha, a disc featuring artists like Talvin Singh and State of Bengal, who spiced current dance tracks with traditional sounds from India.

If you’re imagining Moby remixing Herb Alpert and the Tijuana Brass, you’re close. The Tijuana Sessions, Vol. 1 swings from straight house-disco hardness to semi-acoustic trance ambiance to electro-soul, hitting a smooth blend between cheap, earthy localism and sophisticated electronica. The peppy rhythms of salsa, reggae, rhumba, and bossa nova dominate the collection, with dusty samples of instruments like the cowbell, accordion, timbal, and tuba fleshing out the break beats in the same way sitar and tabla completed Anokha.

For the Nortec Collective artists, blending natural sounds with modern tracks is all about fills–the space between beats where a trumpet lick kicks in some fire, where scratchy percussion maintains the pulse, where accordion chords mimic Euro-pop. Techno’s favored drum-‘n’-bass model is echoed with rumbling congas and timbal loops playing a consistent high to the dublike low of blaring tubas and seemingly broken, rather jazzy synth riffs.

Hip culture aside, the Nortec Collective is accessible as hell. Fussible (the performing name of disc producers Pepe Mogt and Jorge Ruiz) offer the spacey influence of Kraftwerk, plus a jamming synth-funk solo on “Casino Soul.” Bostich and Terrestre could be Stereolab as they navigate through their busy, soundtrack-ready, Brazilian- flavored lounge-funk. Plankton Man plays Reggae Floyd with a smooth jazz guitar solo on “No Liazi Jaz.”

While Terrestre’s tellingly titled “Norteno de Janeiro” showcases the disc’s melding of electro-pop with Latin/Caribbean roots, it’s Hiperboreal’s “Tijuana for Dummies” that makes the most sense. Sparse and thumping, it projects an earthiness that’s easier and deeper than the jazz sax fills, Euro-beats, and the disc’s single diva vocal sample.

On The Tijuana Sessions, Vol. 1, those elements are all understated examples of the familiar, specific roots that Nortec Collective shares with a growing, global electronic style.

From the May 3-9, 2001 issue of the Northern California Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Food Studies Movement

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Food for Thought

Food-studies scholars pursue truth at the table

By Marina Wolf

THE ACRONYM FSM once meant the Free Speech Movement, the wave of student demonstrations that covered universities in the mid-’60s. These days FSM may be developing a second meaning, one that’s taking campuses from the inside out: Food Studies Movement. “I hear it all the time, the Food Studies Movement with a capital M, and we’re right on the vanguard of it in classic revolutionary terms,” says Marion Nestle, chair of New York University’s department of nutrition and food studies. “We’re trying to establish food studies as a completely legitimate academic field of study, with very high standards, that people will take seriously.”

Gaining academic credibility has been the primary task of food studies, which, like other cross-disciplinary studies such as women’s studies or black studies, suffered from being diffused throughout disparate departments. Food studies bore the added onus of being about, well, food, a subject that has been disdained in academia with more than a hint of sexism. “It’s quotidian, too trivial, too housewifey,” says Nestle. “We constantly heard that advisers don’t want to see studies on food.”

But Nestle and other food-studies professionals are excited by recent signs that the Food Studies Movement is on the rise. Respected academic presses such as Oxford and Cambridge releasing highly acclaimed food history tomes, and the University of California Press has come out with Gastronomica: A Journal of Food and Culture. The inaugural issue includes poetry on a peach and an essay in favor of convenience foods, as well as an art historian’s research on letter cookies in 17th-century Dutch still lifes and a seriously convoluted deconstruction of a postmodern menu.

This bewildering mix is a suitable representation of the state of the Food Studies Movement. Indeed, diversity may be the new discipline’s draw, as scholars studying food seek a haven from their own department’s indifference. As students become aware of the possibilities in food studies, individual courses, scattered throughout the course catalog in literature or anthropology or agriculture, fill up as quickly as they appear.

Outside the ivory tower, consumer magazines such as Saveur are cultivating a certain socioculinary tone, bringing elements of food studies to the masses that don’t always know what they’re eating, says Gastronomica editor Darra Goldstein. “Take Thai food. People have a lot of familiarity with it. We can order pad thai and things we like. We’re knowledgeable about it on some level, but how much do we really know about how foods are served in Thailand?” asks Goldstein.

“Do they have any ritual importance? What is their historical importance? How have they changed over the centuries? We know something and that is good, but it isn’t necessarily a deep knowledge.”

Barbara Haber, curator of books at the Schlesinger Library at the Radcliffe Institute for Advanced Study at Harvard University, knows from her reshelving carts that food studies are alive and well. The library is actually dedicated to women’s history and women’s studies, but it’s the culinary collection, containing over 16,000 volumes, that is the real magnet for the public. Even Martha Stewart showed up recently to film a segment at the library, which has been a repository for cookbooks since its beginnings in 1943. “Whoever the director was then, [he or she] understood that books on household management had a place in women’s history,” says Haber.

“They give you a sense of what the expectations are.”

THAT FOOD studies and women’s studies are a natural match has not always been a popular opinion. “It was a forbidden subject in the earlier years of women’s history,” says Haber. “Anything to do with cooking and food was seen as retrograde and bad for business.” Haber credits scholars in multicultural studies for showing that food is a fast track to the heart of a culture, and women’s studies scholars soon began returning to cookbooks for insight into women’s culture.

These days the materials in the Schlesinger Library are used for a wide range of projects. Haber herself is working on a paper on cookbooks as texts for understanding radical feminism, and she has assisted, or reviewed works by, dozens of scholars, whose subjects range from the transmittal of recipes in colonial America to cookbooks as historical documents of the Cold War.

Generalists at an undergraduate level have also found food to be a naturally compelling tool for examining culture. “It’s something that people deal with daily, and at the same time they don’t always think about it,” says Warren Belasco, professor in American studies at University of Maryland Baltimore County. “It’s very much undervalued, particularly in rich countries like ours. People don’t realize what an amazing miracle the food system is.”

Predictably, scholars are finding some hidden weaknesses in the food-studies boom. Since the field is so new, it is still very open to writers. But usually these writers go on to other subjects after one book, rather than developing their expertise in the field of food. “Food is used as a case study in a particular dynamic, and then they move on,” says Belasco. “I think that indicates a certain weakness in the field.”

Other people are late for the train and have too much baggage, according to Haber. “I remember the early days of women’s history, when historians who had been traditionally trained jumped in and claimed to be involved in women’s history. Yet they talked as if women were just one monolithic whole,” says Haber. “I must now make that same assessment of academics who come traditionally from cultural criticism, deciding they are going to work on food. They approach food with a theoretical framework tightly in place, but they don’t recognize that food in itself is a subject, that it has a history, that it has a set of meanings.”

Not only that, she says, but some food-studies people don’t even know how to cook. “I’m concerned that some academics will corrupt food studies, because some of them are just too arrogant to realize that they need to know something about cooking. How else would you know what’s involved really in the creation of a dish, how long it takes? How do you pick up clues?”

From the May 3-9, 2001 issue of the Northern California Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Open Mic

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Open Mic

Ride Anxiety

By C. D. Payne

SPRING IS THE TIME when a young (or not so young) person’s fancy turns to . . . motorcycles. What a pleasure to zip along our rural roads in the warm sunshine. Only one thing spoils the fun. Cars.

Get on a motorcycle and now even a passing Pinto seems like a menacing beast of prey. Will that Volvo pull out in front of you? Will that SUV change lanes right on top of you? Will that truck smack you from behind when you’re stopped at a light?

Cruising at 50 on a motorcycle you have no seat belt, air bags, crumple zones, or side impact reinforcements. It’s your body vs. large, multi-ton vehicles. A minor fender-bender in a car can be a major bone breaker on a bike.

One solution is to spend several thousand dollars on a helmet, boots, gloves, and an abrasion-resistant riding suit loaded with space-age armored pads. In theory you could take a spill at freeway speeds and walk away with only a few bruises. But for every fun jaunt across town you must suit up like a medieval knight.

None of that for your usual Harley rider, often seen in T-shirt, jeans, and barely legal minimalist helmet. Macho, to be sure, but I’m still traumatized by the story I read about the biker who took a curve too fast and ricocheted through some roadside shrubbery. His riding buddies spent the next half hour looking for his ears which had been neatly excised by the straps of his “beanie” helmet.

For years my approach was to tool around lonely roads at modest speeds on embarrassingly low displacement scooters and mopeds. I rode bikes that even wheels-desperate 14-year-olds would sneer at. No satisfying throb of a big vee twin for me. I preferred the whine of a 50 c.c. single straining to hit 25 mph.

It didn’t help.

Cars, I discovered, are even scarier when you can’t keep up with them. Impatient drivers were all too ready to pull around you on a blind curve, or blow right on by with their side mirrors whizzing past your ears like bullets.

So I sold my flame red Honda Spree. I unloaded my cherry 1978 Vespa moped. I even ditched my Zap electric bike.

Still, it’s spring and I’ll be out on the roads. I’m the guy in the big green F-250 blowing diesel exhaust in the faces of passing bikers.


Licensed driver C.D. Payne is the author of ‘Youth In Revolt.’



From the May 3-9, 2001 issue of the Northern California Bohemian.

© Maintained by .


Christian Religious Art

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Wrap Act

Reflections on a religious icon and the art of dying

I ROSE EARLY on Easter Sunday, shortly after daybreak. With a thermos full of coffee and a few well-chosen medical supplies, I left the house and headed for the cemetery. I had a date with Jesus. Our rendezvous had been planned since last fall, ever since I bumped into Mary’s favorite son while strolling through the graveyard’s peaceful mausoleum. He was a statue, almost life-size, carved in wood, propped up at the end of the corridor. The arms were outstretched, hands upturned to display the famous gaping nail wounds, painted Day-Glo red for maximum shock value. Though the artist obviously meant for Jesus to appear transcendent, God-like, reaching out to beckon us all lovingly to his side, to me he looked like some poor guy saying, “Hey, man, can I borrow a Band-Aid?”

I’m serious. And I truly mean no disrespect.

My first impulse when I saw the thing was to jog home for some gauze and surgical tape.

I’m 40 years old. At various times I’ve been an Episcopalian, a Methodist, a Baptist, and a “nondenominational Born-Again.” In short, I’ve seen my fill of bleeding Jesuses. The only thing they have ever inspired in me–beyond a certain revulsion–is sympathy. So gazing upon this one, all I wanted to do–and I really wanted to do this–was to bandage those hands.

But I resisted the urge. Still, I couldn’t get the notion out of my mind. I kept thinking of those mangled wooden hands, imagining them all wrapped and bandaged, safe and sound. Yet the very idea of a bandaged Jesus, a healed Jesus, runs counter to our expectations. It’s abnormal. It’s spooky. “A triaged Jesus! What the hell is this? Hey, where’re the damn nail holes?” It’s obvious that, with or without the whole sacrifice-and-salvation view of the crucifixion, a lot of people just plain like to see Jesus bleeding.

The history of Christian religious art is, in many ways, one long odd tribute to our fascination with the bloodstained corpse of the poor carpenter from Galilee. The crucifixion, clearly, ranks among the most powerful and oft-repeated images in Western art. From Hieronymus Bosch and Michelangelo to El Greco and Rembrandt, from Paul Gauguin and Pablo Picasso to Andres Serrano and Salvador Dali, few major artists seem able to resist doing Jesus on that cross.

Whenever artists dare to tinker with the sanctified symbol of the gleefully murdered Christ, a hailstorm of controversy inevitably rains down on them. But these are often the most daring and, one could argue, spiritually transforming images of Jesus that we have. In Man of Sorrows: Christ with AIDS, painter W. Maxwell Lawton transposes Jesus’ suffering into modern terms by taking him off the cross and showing him shirtless and silent, his nail wounds replaced by telltale body sores. Arthur Boyd’s Crucifixion, Shoalhaven gives us a cross erected in the midst of a flowing river, and its naked, crucified Savior breaks tradition by daring to be a woman, thus insisting that Jesus truly represented all humans. These works are controversial, to say the least. Serrano’s Piss Christ is perhaps the best, and least understood, example of what happens when an artist throws the cross into a different light. So incensed were Christians by the infamous photograph of a crucifix floating in urine that they never bothered to ponder the deeper meaning of the work–or recognize its visual beauty–calling vehemently for an end to the National Endowment of the Arts funds that helped pay for the exhibition.

Perhaps a crucifix floating in a vat of blood would be more to their tastes.

Even back in the days that I believed Jesus died as a sacrifice for the sins of the world, I was uncomfortable about our obsession with the gory exhibitionism of so many Christ images. I preferred the laughing Jesuses, the meditating Jesuses, the living Jesuses, to the battered, blood-drenched ones. Even resurrected, Jesus always seemed to be leading with his wounds. Whenever I found a crucified Jesus that did not repel me, it was usually one that minimized the wounds and maximized the humanity. My favorites include Gauguin’s Yellow Christ–a jaundiced Jesus draped on the cross, breath-stopping despite its lack of oozing wounds–and Dali’s Corpus Hypercubus, showing Jesus floating before the cross in a crucified pose, not a sign of nail prints–or even nails–to cast the ghastly shadow of sadism onto the otherwise heightened beauty of Jesus.

Yes, I understand that the idea of salvation, as symbolized by those ever- clotless, public execution-made lacerations, is itself a meaningful and powerful and beautiful thing to many. So what? If we love Jesus, why would we want to keep the guy crucified?

AS I THOUGHT of the statue in the mausoleum, I couldn’t avoid thinking that the crucified Jesus, as art, is a symbol of more than salvation and sacrifice. It’s a symbol of psychological damage on the human species.

A friend of mine who’s done a lot of traveling once remarked that while passing through some of the world’s most impoverished, disease-ridden, politically oppressed countries, she began to notice that the local religious artworks, in and around the churches and chapels, tend to be stunningly gory. The images of Jesus–whether they show him in mid-crucifixion, being laid to rest in the tomb, or right after the Resurrection–are positively dripping in blood. As she continued through the tiny villages of central Mexico, it became clearer and clearer: The worse off the people have it, the worse off their Jesus is.

The reason is fairly obvious. According to Christian tradition, Jesus came to offer comfort. Even the thought of Jesus’ death–an event the early church spinmeisters turned into a metaphysical blood-for-sin exchange, bringing salvation to the world–offers comfort to those worried about what happens after death. If certain cultures are subconsciously moved to put their paint-and-plaster saviors through the artistic Cuisinart, it’s clearly because doing so makes them feel better. So they erect crucifixes bearing corpses so pummeled that they barely look human. In the face of a Jesus so unimaginably brutalized, their own suffering diminishes in comparison.

But what’s our excuse?

Are things so tough in America that we need to make our statues bleed just to feel more whole? Is the stock market so bad, are the crime rates so high and the high school test scores so low that we need to find comfort by running into a sculpture with its hands and feet punched full of holes? Is this a tradition we really need? I don’t.

So this year, I initiated a new tradition. While others were sleeping, or scattering Easter eggs on their lawn, or gathering on mountaintops for sunrise services, I found Jesus, I touched those twin faux nail-prints painted on those hand-carved hands–and I wrapped the hands carefully in clean white bandages.

Standing back to look upon my handiwork, I experienced what can only be called a religious experience. A mix of emotions moved through me as I looked at Jesus, his arms outstretched, his scars invisible beneath the soft, soothing gauze. And that’s how I left him.

While I have only the wispiest illusions that my little act of philosophical performance art could ever become a national movement on a par with tying yellow ribbons on trees during times of international strife, I like to imagine that my act may be repeated in years to come by those who, like myself, were moved by the unexpected sight of a bandaged Messiah, and are inspired, on future Easters, to make their own offer of comfort to a champion comforter. The way I see it, Jesus has been bleeding for 2,000 years.

It’s time to let the man heal.

From the May 3-9, 2001 issue of the Northern California Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

‘Chopper’

Lend Me Your Ears

Chopper Read sliced way to fame

By

CHOPPER Read earned his nickname for an act of self-directed mutilation. One day, he persuaded a fellow inmate to slash the tops of his (Read’s) ears off to demonstrate to the authorities that he was sick enough to be transferred to the psycho ward. Seems that life in the general prison population had become too dangerous for him.

Director Andrew Dominik’s Chopper–the first adults-only No. 1 box-office hit in Australian history–shows us Read’s double-Van Gogh moment in gory detail. The film then follows the slightly less disgusting latter half of Read’s career after his release from prison in the 1980s.

The outside world also proves hazardous to Read: he has a barbed relationship with both his father and his prostitute girlfriend. Eventually, a shooting outside a nightclub in the early hours of the morning brings him back to prison as well as national fame.

Thanks to the fierce but ingratiating acting of Eric Bana, Chopper is, on one level, a well-told sick joke. Read, who went on to write nine books, could be described as a creation of the media, for whom he loved to grandstand. There’s evidence that Read was bright, or at least bright enough to get himself into trouble. And he seemed to be well-mannered under the usual circumstances until the switch got flipped.

As Bana plays him, Read is a man dismayed by his own violence, with a pitying streak for the people he hurts. Gangster films are full of swaggerers, and it’s uncommon to see the life of that more typical type of violent man–the kind who doesn’t know what’s going to come out of the bottle until it’s too late to put it back.

If his story seems cloudy, that’s apt, since the various lies that help keep Read out of jail are persuasive enough that he believes them himself. This movie–inevitably–has been accused of glorifying violence; and there’s a certain class of viewer who’ll take it as such. Indeed, director Dominik enjoys the material, playing with it, goosing the film speed during a coke-snorting scene. In treating various approaches to the killing of a minor gunman named Sammy the Turk, one version is recited in rhymed couplets.

Chopper could have been slick, but thoughtfulness steals into it. Consider the sympathetic glimpses of the prison authorities, who turn pale and sick when they see the violence that Read precipitates. Unlike most movies about natural-born killers, Chopper successfully has it both ways. It shows us a steel-toothed antihero who was cold-blooded, sardonic, and untouched by pain. It also shows us an unenviable, lamentable sick man turned bestselling author, who, as he gloats, can’t spell. (Bana’s Read repeats the boast about being a bestselling illiterate one too many times, so it gets on your nerves. This isn’t just a movie for the Chopper Fan Club.)

Dominik sensibly leaves the question open about what it is about human wrecks like Chopper Read that’s so fascinating. Few of us are killers, but a lot of us are con men, with a dirty, secret envy for a murderer’s one-level method for dealing with the aggravations of the world.

‘Chopper’ opens Friday, May 4, at Rialto Cinemas Lakeside, 551 Summerfield Road, Santa Rosa. For details, see or call 707/525-4840.

From the May 3-9, 2001 issue of the Northern California Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Sheila Metzner

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Immortal Images

Sheila Metzner exhibits her early photos in Petaluma

By Maja Wood

LIKE MOST parents, Sheila Metzner took many pictures of her seven children. One day she was snapping photos of the kids, the next day Warren Beatty was calling her at home, asking to have his picture taken.

Then the editors of Vanity Fair and Vogue, as well as companies such as Chanel, Victoria’s Secret, and Ralph Lauren started throwing photo assignments and contracts at her. And let’s not forget all those museums, such as the Museum of Modern Art and the Metropolitan Museum of Art, which began adding her prints to their collections.

“Life can be surprising and amazing,” Metzner muses, speaking on her cell phone from Utah, where she’s on assignment for Condé Nast Traveler.

Metzner launched her career 23 years ago with a New York gallery show that, not surprisingly, included many pictures of her favorite models–her children. Since then, she’s become an internationally known photographer, a contemporary master of the art form with a unique style and a dazzling diversity of subjects.

Now, after nearly a quarter of a century, those early photos will be exhibited for the first time since that premiere showing. Many of the prints are the only ones available outside of Metzner’s personal collection, but they’ll soon be on exhibit in downtown Petaluma.

The exhibit opens with a talk by Metzner on Saturday, May 5, at the Barry Singer Gallery, a gallery known among photography aficionados for its collection of work by the likes of George Rodger and Lloyd Ullberg. The gallery has now moved to larger quarters in a street-level location just around the corner from the former site.

“I wanted to inaugurate the new space with a blockbuster exhibit,” owner Barry Singer says. “I wanted a strong show, something that would make a big impact. And this is it.”

Metzner, 62, is also excited about the new exhibit, explaining that the photographs hold many memories for her.

“Back then, when I was taking those shots, I was hoping that someday I could work as a photographer, but I never dreamed all this would happen,” she explains.

Building a career, plus raising five children of her own, plus helping with two children from her husband’s previous marriage, left Metzner with barely any time to sleep.

“I learned that I could shoot even if I wasn’t fully awake and even if the kids were pulling my hair,” Metzner says. “So, during the day, I’d take photographs with the kids. And then around 9:30 at night, when they were asleep, I’d take a shower and get dressed up in high heels and lipstick so that I wouldn’t feel like it was the end of the day. And then I would go in the darkroom and make the prints until about 3 or 4 in the morning.”

Many of the shoots included outings to nearby areas of upstate New York. “The kids were young, and I wasn’t able to travel,” she recalls. “So I would take them somewhere close to home to do a shoot, somewhere that was somehow symbolic of an exotic place, such as Egypt, and we’d pretend to be there.”

Metzner was very particular about her photographs, and at the end of nine years she had 22 prints that she felt were worthy of being shown. She went to a gallery and spread her 22 photos on the floor, and the owner agreed to do a show on the spot.

During that show, a picture of Metzner’s stepdaughter, titled Evyan, Kinderhook Creek, caught the eye of John Szarkowski of the Museum of Modern Art. Szarkowski included it in his famous and controversial exhibit “Mirrors and Windows: American Photography since 1960.” There, it was noticed by powerful New York Times art critic Hilton Kramer, who devoted an entire page to Metzner’s picture. (This print is included in the upcoming exhibit at the Barry Singer Gallery.)

On the heels of that success, Metzner was given a solo show, which garnered a half-page review in the Sunday New York Times Magazine section. All those raves caught the attention of a Vanity Fair editor, who called Metzner and hired her to do a photo shoot of French actress Jeanne Moreau. The editors of Vogue noticed that photograph and signed Metzner on to an exclusive contract for the next eight years.

“The whole progression was just shocking,” Metzner says. “Things just started coming together.”

For example, early in her success she was interviewed by the New York Daily News and was asked her future plans. “I said I wanted to photograph the Chrysler Building and some vases and Warren Beatty,” she says. “A few weeks later, I was at home and my daughter answered the phone and yelled out, ‘Mom, Warren Beatty wants to talk with you.’

“I got on the phone and, sure enough, it was him, and he said, ‘So, I hear you want to take my picture.’ ” Metzner recalls. “Just like that. Things just became simple.”

In addition to her celebrity shots, fashion photography, and other commercial work, Metzner has always maintained a parallel career in fine art photography. Several of her more recent works, as well as the early prints, will be on exhibit at the Barry Singer Gallery. Among these are landscapes, photos of New York buildings, and some Fresson color photographs of flowers.

Invented in 1895, the Fresson method uses a carbon printing process utilizing pigments instead of dyes, which not only renders the color photos archival, but also leaves the colors looking very rich and textured. The process is a family secret that was passed down from the inventor, and now his grandson and great-grandson are the only ones who know how to do it. Metzner is one of only about 11 photographers worldwide with whom the Fresson family has chosen to work.

Many of Metzner’s fine art and commercial photos can be seen in her fourth book, Form and Fashion (Arena; $60), which was released last month. Her landscape photographs can be found in Inherit the Earth (Bulfinch; $75), which came out in October.

Metzner says that one of the main perks of her job is that she is given assignments around the globe, and that’s when she takes the landscape photos for herself.

Two of her photographs in Inherit the Earth are of the pyramids in Egypt. But this time, it’s the real Egypt.

Sheila Metzner gives a talk on her work on Saturday, May 5, at 5 p.m. A reception follows from 6 to 8 p.m. The exhibit of her photographs continues through June 23 at the Barry Singer Gallery, 7 Western Ave., Petaluma. For details, call 707/781-3200.

From the May 3-9, 2001 issue of the Northern California Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Kenneth Cleaver

Consumer Correspondent

Mr. Brian Fox Virgin Megastore 1540 Broadway, Level 2 New York, NY 10036

Dear Mr. Fox,

Forgive my departure from the Queen’s English. Those who know me are sure to affirm a tenet of my character that forbids me from doing things half-assed. Seeing Star Wars was not enough. No, I proceeded to view The Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi, and that overhyped catastrophe The Phantom Menace. Ditto for The Godfather, Karate Kid, and Porky’s trilogies.

I was dismayed to spend $4.25 for a 12-oz. bottle of Stewart’s Root Beer at your Virgin Mega Store Cafe in Times Square. I am not disputing the price of the beverage, but that it leaves me only marginally exploited. If I am going to be ripped off, I want to go all out, push the limits, and attain new heights of suckerdom. Enclosed please find my receipt and $2 cash. That brings the total of my soft drink purchase to $4.50. Now that’s highway robbery!

I would be obliged if you could recalibrate my receipt to reflect the cost increase.

Sincerely, Kenneth Cleaver

Kenneth Cleaver P.O. Box 810 Bedford, NY 10506

Dear Mr. Cleaver,

I am sorry that you didn’t enjoy your experience here in our cafe. However, I cannot accept your payment, and I am going to return it to you with a coupon for two dollars off towards the purchase of a non-sale priced CD, DVD, video, or book.

Sincerely,

Clinton Green, Shift manager

From the May 3-9, 2001 issue of the Northern California Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Miles Davis

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Miles to Go

Flurry of activity on Miles Davis’ 75th anniversary

By Greg Cahill

KEN BURNS be damned. In his recent marathon documentary series Jazz, the PBS wonder-boy filmmaker fixated on the swing era, shamelessly deifying jazz pioneer Louis Armstrong while relegating trumpet legend Miles Davis to a historical footnote. Yet, despite Burns’ unswerving support of the traditionalists, Armstrong never contributed any major musical innovation after the mid-1930s, whereas Davis ushered in many of the genre’s most sweeping changes in the modern era.

For Burns, Davis was no more than a charismatic bandleader with a bad heroin habit, flashy lifestyle, and a love of fast cars and faster women, a man who supposedly “sold out” to the rock audience. But others find a shining brilliance in Davis’ lonely lyricism, seeing him as a liberating figure who freed the musicians of his day and beyond from the limiting confines of traditional jazz as it had evolved in the first half of the 20th century. And Davis–who died in 1991–did it over and again with a series of influential recordings that served as creative signposts: the quintessential Birth of the Cool sessions, recorded in 1949 and 1950, codified cool jazz; 1959’s landmark Kind of Blue (which has been examined meticulously in no less than three behind-the-scenes books in the past year) broke free of the chord-based improvisations of the bop era and introduced a modal, or scale-based, framework; and 1969’s In a Silent Way heralded the beginning of jazz/rock fusion.

In his excellent book Jazz: America’s Classical Music (Spectrum, 1984), Marin jazz educator and author Grover Sales hailed Davis as “the dominant influence” in the genre after his ascendancy in the mid-1950s. Sales rightly lauds Davis as a trumpet stylist, “a best-selling recording star who broadened the audience for authentic jazz, as a leader with an uncanny gift for launching important new trends and for introducing innovative musicians who were to help the future course of jazz.”

Among those musicians were John Coltrane, Bill Evans, John McLaughlin, Ron Carter, Wayne Shorter, Chick Corea, Herbie Hancock, Joe Zawinul, John Scofield, Keith Jarrett, and Tony Williams.

Indeed, Davis emerged in the ’50s as a high priest of cool, one of the holy trinity of modern jazz, along with John Coltrane and Thelonious Monk. He possessed all the traits of a great artist–fearless, always reaching for new ground, and unaffected by the commercial trends of the day.

“With his ‘clean as a motherfucker’ custom-tailored suits, his Picasso-like ‘cold flame,’ his ‘take no prisoners’ approach to his work,” Lewis MacAdams writes in his new book Birth of the Cool: Beat, Bebop, and the American Avant-Garde (Free Press; $27.50), “Davis came to epitomize [the period’s] art.”

In celebration of the 75th anniversary of Davis’ birth, and in commemoration of the 10th anniversary of his death, a flurry of new books, CD anthologies, previously unreleased recordings, and reissues are hitting the stores. This ambitious salute to the jazz legend will culminate later this year when Warner Bros. Records releases what is expected to be a monumental six-CD compilation, featuring unreleased live material in addition to tracks recorded with Prince and jazz singer Shirley Horn (who persuaded Davis to once again begin performing and recording ballads shortly before his death).

Miles, 1; Wynton, 0: There was no love lost between Davis and Marsalis.

IN HIS NEW BOOK Miles Beyond: Miles Davis, 1967-1991 (Guptill Publications; $24.95), music critic Paul Tingen takes on those who contend that Davis “sold out” and abandoned jazz in the late ’60s when he recorded In a Silent Way, which returned Davis to the pop charts. The album, which will get the royal treatment in September when Epic/Legacy releases a three-CD boxed set The Complete In a Silent Way Sessions, was the forerunner to the Top 40 album Bitches Brew and launched the jazz/rock fusion-era that helped carry the genre through the otherwise creative doldrums of the early ’70s.

Tingen faithfully traces Davis’ often-denigrated fusion experiments and makes a compelling argument that his electric jazz was a serious attempt to incorporate the idioms of contemporary African-American music into his vocabulary. The Kirkus Review has praised the book as “a valuable revisionist look at one of the key figures of modern American music.”

To underscore the incredible vitality of that period, Epic/Legacy in May is releasing Live at the Fillmore East, March 7, 1970: It’s about That Time–a driving session that supports Tingen’s claim. The two-CD set contains previously unreleased material recently unearthed and featuring the original Bitches Brew lineup (a different lineup than on 1970’s Miles Davis at the Fillmore: Live at the Fillmore East, which was recorded several months later than the newly released concert sessions). Four weeks after this March 1970 concert date, saxophonist Wayne Shorter left Davis’ band to co-found with pianist Joe Zawinul the influential fusion ensemble Weather Report.

Meanwhile, Epic/Legacy has released a 75th-anniversary series that includes the two-CD anthology The Essential Miles Davis, the first Davis compilation drawn from all seven of the major labels for which the trumpeter recorded. The 23-track retrospective serves as a monument to Davis’ genius, from the rollicking blues of “Walkin’ ” (oddly missing from the new Prestige compilation Miles Davis Plays the Blues) to the lyrical cover of Gershwin’s “Summertime,” from the white-hot sensuality of “Nefertiti” to the West Indian fusion on “Black Satin.”

The Miles Davis Series, inaugurated in 1997, also includes new reissues of three classic 1950s Columbia recordings with bonus tracks or extended performances–‘Round about Midnight, Milestones, and Miles Davis at Newport–plus the never-before-released-on-CD 1958 live sessions Jazz at the Plaza, Vol. 1 and Miles Davis & John Coltrane: The Best of the Complete Columbia Recordings, 1955-1961, a nine-song sampler from last year’s acclaimed box set.

In addition, Berkeley-based Fantasy Records has reissued two classic Prestige albums that predate the aforementioned Columbia material. Relaxin’–featuring Davis, Coltrane, pianist Red Garland, bassist Paul Chambers, and drummer Philly Joe Jones–was drawn from two marathon 1956 sessions that resulted in four albums. It is widely regarded as one of the strongest works by this great quintet. Bag’s Groove, recorded in 1954 at the dawn of the post-bop era, features Davis, tenor saxophonist Sonny Rollins, vibes player Milt Jackson, pianists Horace Silver and Thelonious Monk, and the celebrated rhythm section of bassist Percy Heath and drummer Kenny Clarke. Music critic Scott Yanow has called the eminently soulful Bag’s Groove “timeless music that defies easy classification [and that] belongs in every jazz collection.”

Both Prestige reissues are digitally remastered, repackaged, and available as limited editions (10,000 copies of each were pressed).

AS A WHOLE, these Fantasy and Columbia recordings chart the explosive growth of a towering jazz giant–an often defiant and heroic figure really–whose cutting-edge music blazed a path for generations of musicians. “Miles became a kind of existential hero, insisting always on making his own choices, always finding his own route, and committed to being the exact person and artist that he strove to be without making allowances for the expectations of others,” Eric Nisenson wrote in The Making of Kind of Blue: Miles Davis and his Masterpiece (St. Martin’s, 2000).

“If he was an innovator, it was always in the service of his effort to understand who he was and who he was becoming, and to create the music that reflected his own evolution.”

From the April 26-May 2, 2001 issue of the Northern California Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

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