Kenneth Cleaver

Consumer Correspondent

Mr. Brian Fox Virgin Megastore 1540 Broadway, Level 2 New York, NY 10036

Dear Mr. Fox,

Forgive my departure from the Queen’s English. Those who know me are sure to affirm a tenet of my character that forbids me from doing things half-assed. Seeing Star Wars was not enough. No, I proceeded to view The Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi, and that overhyped catastrophe The Phantom Menace. Ditto for The Godfather, Karate Kid, and Porky’s trilogies.

I was dismayed to spend $4.25 for a 12-oz. bottle of Stewart’s Root Beer at your Virgin Mega Store Cafe in Times Square. I am not disputing the price of the beverage, but that it leaves me only marginally exploited. If I am going to be ripped off, I want to go all out, push the limits, and attain new heights of suckerdom. Enclosed please find my receipt and $2 cash. That brings the total of my soft drink purchase to $4.50. Now that’s highway robbery!

I would be obliged if you could recalibrate my receipt to reflect the cost increase.

Sincerely, Kenneth Cleaver

Kenneth Cleaver P.O. Box 810 Bedford, NY 10506

Dear Mr. Cleaver,

I am sorry that you didn’t enjoy your experience here in our cafe. However, I cannot accept your payment, and I am going to return it to you with a coupon for two dollars off towards the purchase of a non-sale priced CD, DVD, video, or book.


Clinton Green, Shift manager

From the May 3-9, 2001 issue of the Northern California Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

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