Classic Charm

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Miss Bennet: Christmas at Pemberley, Lauren Gunderson and Margot Melcon’s “continuation” of Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice, made quite a splash at the Marin Theatre Company in 2016 and since then has become a staple of holiday theater programs. The Spreckels Theatre Company brings it to Rohnert Park with a production running through Dec. 15.

It’s Christmas time at Pemberley Manor, where Fitzwilliam and Elizabeth Darcy (Matt Cadigan & Ilana Niernberger) are hosting a reunion of the Bennet sisters—Elizabeth’s sister Jane (Allie Nordby) and her husband Charles (Evan Held), precocious sister Lydia (Ella Park) and their somewhat neglected sibling Mary (Karina Pugh). Mary sees little future for herself but the caretaking of her aging parents. Her chances of finding love are as limited as her chances of exploring the world outside of books.

Enter Arthur de Bourgh (Zane Walters), a somewhat nebbish neighbor who has come into his own estate. His interests align with Mary’s and there’s definite interest in Mary, but Arthur’s experience with women is severely limited.

Heeding the advice of the gentlemen of the house, Arthur writes a letter expressing his feelings, which, of course, gets in the hands of the wrong person. As that misunderstanding plays out, in swoops Anne de Bourgh (Taylor Diffenderfer), Arthur’s cousin and self-declared fiancé. Will everything work out for Mary and Arthur or are they doomed to lives of spinsterhood and loveless marriage?

C’mon, it’s a Christmas play.

And a charming one at that. Director Sheri Lee Miller brings the right touch and the perfect cast to the material. The writing is so good and the characters so clearly defined that you really don’t need to know a thing about Pride and Prejudice to “get it.” Everything you need to know comes from the characters, and the cast surely “gets it” with each member delivering a strong and delightful characterization via Gunderson and Melcon’s witty dialogue.

The characters and their relationships are the root of the show’s humor. Pugh’s Mary is a tower of strength and vulnerability who meets her match in Walters’ spot-on bumbling and loveable Arthur. Niernberger, Nordby and Park’s sisters all seem like sisters and Cadigan and Held’s gentlemen lovingly exist in their world. Diffenderfer’s Anne is a great villain whose need for security leads her to say and do some awful, terrible and very amusing things.

Love conquers all and it will conquer you should you spend some time at Pemberley Manor.

Rating (out of 5): ★★★★★

‘Miss Bennet: Christmas at Pemberley’ runs through Dec. 15 at Spreckels Performing Arts Center, 5409 Snyder Lane, Rohnert Park. Fri–Sat, 7:30pm; Sun, 2pm; $12–$26. 707.588.3400.
spreckelsonline.com

Hard Wine

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In December, thoughts turn to Tom and Jerry. And brandy. Any cheap brandy will do for that winter warmer cocktail, right? That’s what I thought until I was wowed by a mere $4 upgrade to a California VSOP brandy. Might there be more to this under-appreciated spirit that is, after all, distilled from wine, in North Bay wine country?

Prohibition Spirits Chauvet Chardonnay Brandy VS ($60): “We get a lot of people’s leftover wines,” says distiller Fred Groth. He can’t say which wineries, but he can say that he distilled this brandy from leftover Chardonnay from the highly regarded Durell vineyard in Sonoma Valley. It’s got an earthy spiciness from aging in rye whiskey barrels. Grapes from another vineyard contribute to Chauvet Pinot Noir brandy’s ($60) sweeter, red-fruited flavors. A whiskey lover’s brandy, Chauvet brandy XO ($75) is aged in both French oak and American bourbon barrels.

23570 Arnold Dr., Sonoma. Daily, 10am to 5pm.

Charbay Distillery No. 83 brandy: “I don’t get to make brandy every year,” explains 13th-generation master distiller Marko Karakasevic. An understatement? This was actually his father’s first brandy made in the U.S., in 1983, from Folle Blanche—the traditional grape of Cognac. For all of its 27 years in French oak, it smells like fresh timber sawed the other day, along with subtle orange peel and spice. The other current release is the Charbay No. 89. Made from Pinot Noir and Sauvignon Blanc, it’s also ethereal, but shows richer hints of citrus and rice syrup. Charbay brandies are near impossible to find in retail—I found one full bottle ($299) and one split ($149) of No. 83 at Santa Rosa’s Bottle Barn. charbay.com.

Sonoma Brothers Distilling Grape Brandy ($50): Do grapes make a difference in brandy? Here, the proof is in the Pinot Noir. Made as a rosé wine at Paradise Ridge Winery before being distilled and aged just two years-plus in used Pinot Noir barrels, this delicious brandy pops with cherry, vanilla and an almost meaty essence of red-wine barrel. Tasting room only.

7759 Bell Rd., Windsor. Saturday and Sunday, noon to 5pm.

Korbel Brandy Aged 18 Years ($59.99): More than age sets this apart from Korbel’s VSOP Gold Reserve brandy ($16.99), which is column-distilled in Bakersfield and gets caramel flavors from aging in charred American oak. They make a third of the 18 from Russian River Valley grapes on an alembic still and aged in Chardonnay barrels, lending notes of orange oil, butcher block and cashews warming in a nut hut—as cozy-sounding as the Korbel tasting room, which is the only retail location where this can be found.

3250 River Rd., Guerneville. Daily, 10am to 4:30pm.

Napa Time

Napa, the largest city in Napa County, does not have an off-season. As proof, check out the heavy foot traffic at the corner of Main and First streets during the weeks following the grape harvest.

The primary difference between Napa’s high seasons (spring, summer and fall) is in its lodging rates, which tend to drop during the time of year we locals call Cabernet Season.

Mornings may be near freezing, but by early afternoon, a sweater and/or scarf is all that’s needed to comfortably roam the city that has recently experienced a renaissance—there’s an abundance of lodging options, tasting rooms, one-of-a-kind shops, restaurants, entertainment and wellness options, mostly located off Highway 29 , downtown and along the Napa Riverfront.

Leisure options are seemingly endless with choices that include The Opera House, weekend brunch and a concert at The Blue Note, the foodie paradise that is Oxbow Public Market, and a year-round farmers market every Saturday morning.

You can also book a themed excursion on the Napa Valley Wine Train. Vintage Pullman cars run north from Napa to St. Helena and back again, with murder mystery rides, winery stops and express lunch excursions among its many options.

Four years ago, I was a visitor to Napa. Today, I am a local, happy to share how best to spend a few days here, and I recommend a mix of well-known local hangouts, combined with “insider” hot spots for dining, indulgences and wine-centric experiences.

Morning might begin with a detox, in my case, to recover from yesterday’s sensory wine and food experience at Ashes & Diamonds. In fact, I followed yesterday’s wine tasting with more wine (hey, it happens); you might require a meatball and polenta starter, followed by pizza at Don Bistro Giovanni’s – a hangout for vintners in the Napa Valley.

Clearly, a wellness stop at True Rest Float Spa is in order. Inside a pod with your choice of colorful lighting options, a load of Epsom salts poured into a mere 10 inches of water dissolve to create an ideal floating environment. The pod experience is meditative but also healing, with benefits that include deeper sleep, decreased symptoms of jet lag, relief from chronic aches and pains, stress reduction, and a boost in endorphins for a pleasant sense of euphoria.

Pretend you’re an oyster; you can close your one-person pod (shell) fully, open it a crack, or leave it wide open during your one-hour soak. The experience varies by individual. Some floaters can feel their own heartbeat, allowing an unfolding of tensions and full relaxation – falling asleep is possible! Others might focus on the sound of their own breathing to reduce anxiety and come to complete calmness.

At first, I felt like I was simply lying on a hard surface, but one small motion of my limbs cemented the reality that I was indeed floating. It may take a few visits to True Rest to totally succumb to the float and clear your mind. All I know is that I breathed more deeply and slept better for the next few nights than I had in a long time, and my minor aches and pains had disappeared. Floats’ effects can be boosted by a eucalyptus or other essential oil-infused treatment at True Rest’s Oxygen Bar post-soak.

With no caffeine or breakfast before the Float Spa, I was more than ready – and you will be, too – to stop at Napa Valley Coffee Roasting Co. for a pick-me-up while strolling downtown.

The newest tasting experience is on the First Street block, at the Alpha Omega Collective, which is an umbrella brand for Alpha Omega, Tolosa and Perinet wineries. These three wineries have their base in St. Helena, San Luis Obispo and in Spain, respectively, and Robin and Michelle Baggett are the owners.

Take a seat in the al fresco tasting room and begin with a crisp, yet creamy unoaked Tolosa chardonnay made with grapes grown in San Luis Obispo. Then move on to my personal favorite: an elegant ruby-toned 2016 Tolosa 1772 Pinot Noir.

A close second is the taste of Spain evident in a 2015 Perinet Red Blend of grenache, syrah, carignan, and cabernet sauvignon made with Spanish grapes grown in a region with vineyards covered in slate rocks.

Adjoining the tasting room is Pennington Provisions, where one can indulge in some cheese and charcuterie while seated at the Collective and chatting about wine. You may choose to return later for some gourmet takeout at its offshoot, The Dutch Door, where kale salads and Spanish fried chicken are among some of the locally sourced, seasonal offerings available. You can grab and go or grab a seat at a sidewalk table and enjoy a glass of wine from the Collective with your food order.

A few blocks away, take the elevator at the Archer Hotel to Sky & Vine Rooftop Bar to try their unusual lobster corn dog, paired with a Mt. Veeder Cabernet Sauvignon. After all, it is Cabernet Season, when tannic cabernets are the most popular choice for sipping. If it’s Brown Bag Wednesday, you can play a game of guess the vintner, varietal and vintage in a blind tasting format. Guess all three correctly and you’ll get the bottle in the bag for one dollar.

Before you go, be sure to check local listings to see if Blue Note Napa has any live musical performances; if so, you can purchase tickets online in advance.

No music today? Then head to the Westin Verasa Hotel, home to Chef Ken Frank’s Michelin-starred La Toque, whose Bank Café and Bar offers brunch until 3pm, followed by a late afternoon bar menu with your choice of small plates and/or entrees. Begin with lobster-butter topped popcorn and a glass of Peju merlot and watch the bustling scene—see if you can guess the locals-to-visitor ratio.

Still hungry? Try their perfectly sautéed sea scallops with chorizo – and maybe order a side of cheesy grits.

With a new day of adventure in store, another way to clear your head after a full day of tasting and eating is to head down to the river for an hour or two of kayaking — in preparation for a lunch of moules frites and Chablis on the riverside deck at Angèle Restaurant and Bar.

Feeling romantic? Opt for an afternoon at the Tuscan-inspired Spa Terra at the Meritage Resort. Once upon a time, I enjoyed both a stay and a couples spa treatment inside the spa cave. Before a neck and shoulder massage, we enjoyed a couples soak in a jacuzzi while indulging on sparkling wine and chocolate truffles, all to the serenade of classical music.

Feeling like retail therapy is in order? Feast it Forward is the spot for kitchenware and wine-tasting. Across the street is Oxbow Public Market—don’t pass by Kara’s for the amazing s’mores cupcakes.

Adjacent to Oxbow is Copia at the Culinary Institute of America (CIA). You can’t miss it: its rooftop features bright white sculptures of Robert and Margrit Mondavi toasting passersby.

I highly recommend the “France is a Feast” exhibit which runs through March 1, 2020 and features the photographic journey through France by Paul and Julia Child. Also, at Copia, a “Hall of Fame” wall showcases the work of Vermont sculptor Larry Nowlan and his array of bronzed portrait reliefs in homage to various wine industry pioneers, including Mondavi and Robert Parker.

Other Napa Highlights

Napa Lighted Art Festival, Jan. 11-19, 2020. This free, nine-day festival turns iconic architecture into painting at a unique outdoor event. The festival installs art created by local and international artists at approximately 16 locations in Downtown Napa, the Oxbow District and within the city. Highlights will include light art, video art, 3D video mapping projections, lighted sculptures and projects that utilize technology or interactivity. The festival program includes Artist Experiences, a series of gatherings to meet the artists; Culinary Experiences, available at the CIA at Copia; and six different tours of the seven historic buildings featured in the festival. (donapa.com/lights)

The Wine Foundry/Anarchist Wine Co. offers guests the chance to explore each step of the production process with their new two-hour Crush Camp experience. Led by the Foundry’s Stuart Ake, visitors will sort, de-stem, and crush grapes, manage fermentations, and sample wines that are two hours; two days; and two weeks old. (thewinefoundry.com)

Downtown Napa’s newest tasting room, WALT Napa Oxbow, opened in June across from the Oxbow Public Market. WALT’s wines span California’s western coast and visitors can experience “1,000 Miles of Pinot,” a tasting of current releases from vineyards located along the coastline. There’s also “Root 101,” where guests deconstruct culinary dishes and delve into how each element interacts with WALT’s Pinot Noir. Finally, at the Wine & Chocolate Pairing, guests taste wines from six appellations, paired with a variety of chocolates from Chris Kollar. (donapa.com/thingstodo/walt-napa-oxbow)

Hal Yamashita Napa recently opened on Main Street in downtown Napa. It’s a new Japanese restaurant from Master Chef Hal of Iron Chef All Stars, Japan. After traveling around the world, Hal is known as a maestro of contemporary Japanese cuisine Shin-Washoku. His menu includes an Akamatsu course with seven dishes, and a Goyomatsu course with nine dishes. (halnapa.com)

Changing Focus

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Napa’s renowned di Rosa Center for Contemporary Art began as the private art collection of grape-grower Rene di Rosa and his wife Veronica.

Since 2000, the 217-acre property has operated as a nonprofit, largely funded by the Rene and Veronica di Rosa Foundation, which invites artists to create new works onsite and engages the public through educational programs in addition to boasting a collection of an estimated 1,600 pieces of 20th-century and Bay Area art.

This past summer, the board of directors at the di Rosa Foundation surprised many in the Napa Valley art community with news that the foundation would stop collecting art and begin a process to make many of the collection’s pieces available for sale in an attempt to reduce their holdings from 1,600 pieces to “several hundred” pieces.

“The board declared themselves non-collecting, that’s an important piece of the initiative,” says di Rosa Communications & Marketing Manager Ronny Joe Grooms. “Now we are positioning ourselves to commission art, but we’ll no longer buy and collect art.”

Currently, most of the collection is being held in professional archival storage facilities and is inaccessible to the public. Grooms also notes that the plan to eventually reduce the focus of the di Rosa collection will likely take years to complete. “This is a very methodical, mindful process,” he says.

Soon after the news broke, a group of more than 120 artists, curators and dealers went public with their opposition to the plan in an open letter to the institution in August that called the collection a “significant achievement in and of itself” and called the proposed sale “an irretrievable loss to the international art community.”

Days later, di Rosa Center for Contemporary Art Executive Director Robert Sain responded in kind with a letter that acknowledged that the board shared concerns for the collection, but stated, “unfortunately the simple reality is that the organization was never set up with sufficient funds to properly care for the collection.”

This does not mean that di Rosa Center for Contemporary Arts is in danger of closing down. In fact, the center is currently showing two exhibits featuring selections from the collection. “Building a Different Model,” which includes work from over 40 Northern California artists, and “Viola Frey: Center Stage,” which features over 100 works of ceramic, bronze and more, are both on display until Dec. 29.

In 2020, new installations take over the galleries, as “Davina Semo: Core Reflections” opens Jan. 29 and “Jim Drain: Membrane” opens Feb. 12.

“The purpose of this deaccessioning isn’t to keep the lights on or to keep the doors open,” Grooms says. “It is to strengthen our endowment so we have a sustainable long-term plan. In the long run, this is going to mean more art, not less art.”

Act Now

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When Oxford Dictionaries names “climate emergency” its 2019 Word of the Year, it’s time to take action.

And that’s what Daily Acts is doing. Begun in 2001 with an Eco-Zine called Ripples and a handful of sustainability tours, it’s now a community-resilience organization with 13 staff, educating 60,000 people through 1,300 programs.

“Educating and empowering people is the basis of our work to spread solutions and models creating gardens, doing graywater, harvesting rainwater, installing gardens, growing healthy food,” says founder Trathen Heckman. “The next level is fostering coalitions and networks to build community leadership. And the third piece is the public and political will.”

In 2019 Daily Acts educated 5,637 people and leaders at 109 events. It offers programs teaching gardening, food preserving and eco-landscape installation to veterans, fire victims and more.

“It can’t just be ‘recover from this disaster and prepare for the next one’—we need to stop the problem,” Heckman explains. “If you increase soil organic matter even 1 percent it has massive effects—it holds more water in the soil so it addresses our drought problem, you grow food, it sequesters carbon.”

The urgency of the climate crisis instigated Daily Acts to co-found Climate Action Petaluma. Last April, CAP led the City of Petaluma to declare both a Climate Emergency and a new Climate Action and Policy Commission. Five more Sonoma County cities followed suit. Since the new Climate Commission’s inception, Sonoma County has committed to creating a 10-year climate emergency mobilization framework.

“We need practical solutions and models people can apply; building community leadership, building public and political will,” Heckman says. “We need to talk about the painful, harsh reality of the climate emergency while engendering a sense of hope and positivity … We have to be true about where we’re at; only a truth-based strategy can actually help us affect the transformative scale of change that is needed.”

According to Heckman, 30–50 percent of emissions are consumption-based. Changing light bulbs, replacing lawns with food-based landscaping and eating less meat all make a difference.

“One of the most common patterns in nature is the network,” Heckman says. “What if we’re all doing victory gardens and we’re building soil and growing food and we’re connecting with our neighbors and our hands are in the soil so we’re addressing the mental health crisis of eco-anxiety?”

While gardens make a difference, public policy is also integral.

“Our daily actions alone won’t do it; we have to show up, we can’t assume others are leading,” Heckman says. “We could be the first city in the country that creates a Climate Sequestration Plan. Petaluma and Sonoma County could continue to be leaders.”

The world needs everyone’s talents.

“A lot of people think they aren’t experts, but imagine if at every city council meeting there are new people showing up,” he says. “You wake up and then you get inspired. Then you start talking and sharing and connecting with people.”

Sharp Mystery

Middling, but not without surprises, Knives Out is Rian Johnson’s mystery about a group of greedy heirs in ugly holiday sweaters.

They’re the descendants of writer Harlan Thrombey (Christopher Plummer), author of The Menagerie Tragedy Trilogy and other best-selling bafflers. The morning after his 85th birthday party, the old man was found with his throat cut–an apparent suicide. The deceased was no stranger to the macabre. “He basically lives on a ‘Clue’ board,” says the investigating Lt. Elliott (Lakeith Stanfield of Sorry to Bother You); it’s a turreted Victorian manor floating in a sea of dead leaves, with hidden entryways, creaky floorboards and sinister-doodads galore.

Harlan’s parasitic family isn’t exactly weeping over the senseless waste of human life. They include designer Jamie Lee Curtis whose business Harlan’s checkbook propped up, and her loafer-husband Don Johnson. Their son is a professional wastrel (Chris Evans handles this anti-Captain America role well). Another son is grumbling Michael Shannon, limping on a cane; he’s furious at the old man’s refusal to sell his work to the movies.

On scene is Daniel Craig’s Benoit Blanc, “Last of the Gentlemen Detectives,” recently profiled in the New Yorker. (“I read a tweet about the article,” says another suspect, Toni Collette’s Joni, burnished by unnatural skin bronzers.) Craig uses a Southern accent, with more molasses in it than the one he used in Logan Lucky. This diction increases Craig’s likeness to Robert Mitchum. What’s uniquely his own is the satisfactory way Craig wears his fine clothes, dandles his cigar and utters Gothic comments about “vultures at the feast, knives out, beaks bloody!”

To him, the case is a sort of donut, the hole beckoning. This metaphysical donut is mirrors frightening living-room sculpture: hundreds of knives, all blades pointing to a vortex.

Johnson’s superb emulation of Hammett and Chandler in his debut Brick (2006) gave us a more energetic mystery, and this sputters a bit by comparison. But he does have a purpose, beyond pastiche: Knives Out is Thanksgiving entertainment for those seething at their relatives over the turkey carcass.

‘Knives Out’ is playing now.

Girl On Fire

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Mendocino County–native Michelle Lambert pulls from many talents and influences when she makes her genre-bending music.

“I have a lot going on in my mind, so I’ve been writing songs since I was a teenager,” Lambert says.

The multi-instrumentalist first picked up the violin, then played keys and drums and performed all over Northern California as a teenager before studying vocals at the esteemed Berklee College of Music in Boston. When she graduated in 2011, she promptly moved to Nashville, met her now-longtime-guitarist Robbie and took a four year–deep dive on being a singer-songwriter.

“It was a great spot to find myself as an artist and to get tons of experience and hone my skills,” Lambert says. “I put my background to use—I have classical influence, some Celtic in there and the pop music that I’ve loved since I was a kid.”

After several years of living away from her home state, Lambert wrote a song in 2017, “My California,” that immediately went viral on the West Coast and propelled her and Robbie to move to the Bay Area.

Since then, Lambert has performed steadily, and while she regularly plays all over California, she says the North Bay feels like her home.

“When I get up there it looks like home and I really dig the people up there,” she says.

This weekend, Lambert is in Santa Rosa to perform at Steele & Hops on Saturday, Nov. 30, as part of a launch party for the brewery’s latest releases.

Musically, Lambert has her own release on the way, debuting her new single “Girl of Fire” in January of 2020. The single marks her first new music released in two years, and is a thematic sequel to her 2015 single, “I’m Just a Girl.”

“It’s me going from being that girl trying to jump into the music scene, to having the courage to do it and going for it,” she says. “It’s got a raw personal side, and then it’s got classical violin hooks.”

That juxtaposition from raw, emotional singer-songwriter to classical musician is one that Lambert relishes in her genre-crossing pop music.

“It’s cool to get out of the box,” she says. “I feel like with music especially, you have the power to reach different kinds of people and it’s exciting to take something and do it a little differently.”

Michelle Lambert plays on Saturday, Nov. 30, at Steele & Hops, 1901 Mendocino Ave., Santa Rosa. 7pm. Free admission. michellelambert.com.

River Redux

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It seems the Bohemian’s coverage of the excessive levels of bacteria in the Petaluma River Watershed made some waves.

Over the past few weeks, river recreationists have thanked us for highlighting the issue and local officials have sought to clarify certain points highlighted in our initial reporting.

Still other river users asked us to weigh in on whether it is safe to swim in or eat fish from the Petaluma River Watershed.

This article will cover all of those issues below. First, here is a brief recap of the situation.

In order to determine whether fecal matter has seeped into the water, scientists test water for Fecal Indicator Bacteria (FIB). Though the FIB themselves are not dangerous, scientists use these strains of bacteria to test the level of fecal contamination in a water body, which can potentially be dangerous.

That fecal matter can come from a range of warm-blooded creatures, including humans, cows, horses and dogs. Some level of these bacteria is natural, but state and federal agencies have identified unsafe levels.

The main stem of the Petaluma River was first listed as “impaired” by excessive levels of fecal indicator bacteria in 1975.

Over the past several years, scientists from the San Francisco Bay Regional Water Quality Control Board, one of nine regional boards around the state tasked with overseeing water quality, have tested for indicator bacteria in the Petaluma River Watershed.

The conclusion? In short, the levels exceed allowed amounts of indicator bacteria throughout the Petaluma River Watershed.

On Wednesday, Nov. 13, the regional board unanimously approved a plan, known as the Petaluma River Bacteria Total Maximum Daily Load (TMDL). The board intends the TMDL to define the level of bacteria—in this case, levels of FIB—and provide a roadmap for solving the problem.

Weighing In

In separate letters to the Bohemian, the City of Petaluma and Friends of the Petaluma River expressed concern that our previous coverage highlighted the city’s sewer treatment plant as a possible source of fecal matter.

The city staffers clarified that the sewage treatment plant itself is not a possible source of contamination, since they treat the sewage there to “exceptionally high standards.”

My original article [‘Waste Deep,’ Nov. 6] included references to possible contamination coming from the city’s sewage facility, rather than the sewer collection system—the pipes that carry the raw sewage to the treatment facility.

As the water board’s report notes, “Wastewater discharges from the [City of Petaluma’s] Ellis Creek Wastewater Treatment Plant are not likely to contribute to FIB impairment of the river because they are disinfected to levels well below the applicable bacterial water quality objectives.”

The Bohemian regrets the error in terminology.

Still, as city staffers acknowledge in their letter, some of the laterals and mains that make up the city’s sewer collection system do sometimes overflow, mostly due to aging infrastructure coping with heavy storms.

The city staffers went on to highlight ongoing efforts to clean up the river and the surrounding watershed.

Those efforts include infrastructure upgrade projects, like “a major sewer replacement project in the City’s older downtown area”; the city’s Sewer Lateral Replacement Grant Program, which offers “financial assistance to property owners for the replacement of their private sewer laterals”; and public education campaigns aimed at curbing pollution from pet waste and stormwater runoff.

In a separate letter, Andy Rodgers, director of the nonprofit Friends of the Petaluma River, encouraged readers to take a broader view of the sources of bacteria, rather than focus on treatment facilities, as I did erroneously.

“Instead of looking at [public sewage treatment] facilities, we need to focus on the non-point sources: homeless encampments, domestic and agricultural animals, failing septic tanks and leach fields, urban runoff and especially elevating the awareness of our citizens and visitors to behave responsibly,” Rodgers wrote.

TMDL Concerns

And that brings us to one criticism of the regional water board’s current plan.

In a letter to the board in early September, staff members from San Francisco Baykeeper, an environmental nonprofit, contended that the board’s proposed plan to clean up the river, known as a TMDL, does not meet the definition laid out in federal regulations.

In short, Baykeeper argues that, although the SF Bay Regional Water Quality Control Board calls its plan a TMDL, the current plan does not meet the requirements needed to use that name.

For instance, Ben Eichenberg, a staff attorney at San Francisco Baykeeper, tells the Bohemian that the current plan does not properly differentiate between the multiple possible sources of fecal matter.

Without that information, it makes it hard to hold any potential sources of bacteria accountable.

“They’re just guessing about what’s causing the pollution,” Eichenberg says. “Based on those guesses they’ve thrown together some ideas to randomly try to fix the pollution without any plan to measure how well the ideas are working.”

Due to that weakness and others in the TMDL, it could “take decades longer to solve the problem,” Eichenberg says.

In their response to Baykeeper’s concerns, Regional Water Board staff repeatedly wrote that they “disagree” with the nonprofit’s interpretations of the requirements of a TMDL.

“This TMDL includes requirements for all sources of bacteria throughout the watershed,” staff wrote in part.

Still, although the regional water board approved the TMDL unanimously on Wednesday, Nov. 13, the current plan isn’t necessarily a done deal.

Eichenberg says the California State Water Resources Control Board and then the Environmental Protection Agency will both review the TMDL before it officially goes into effect. Either agency could potentially make changes.

Community Concerns

Several readers have asked whether or not it is safe to swim in or eat the fish from the waters of the Petaluma River Watershed. This reporter asked the Sonoma County’s Health Officer, Dr. Celeste Philips, to weigh in. Her answers, edited for length, are below:

Is it safe to swim in the river?

“Swimming is not recommended when e.coli levels surpass the [state] exceedance threshold. We advise people to follow these instructions when coming into contact with water in the river,” Dr. Philips says.

Dr. Philips’ other advisories include: Do not swallow water; Do not drink river water or use it for cooking; Adults and children should wash hands/shower and towel dry after swimming; Rinse off pets after they come into contact with the water and do not swim when sick.

Is it safe to eat fish from the river?

Dr. Philips notes that the California Office of Environmental Health Assessment does not list the Petaluma River on its California Fish Advisory Map, which offers “current information regarding fish consumption advisories for freshwater bodies throughout the State.”

“That said, we advise that for fish caught in the Petaluma River that people throw away the guts and clean fillets with tap water or bottled water before cooking,” Dr. Philips adds.

Quid Pro Cannabis

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On the big day, there were two kinds of stuffing, the cook warned—one with cannabis and the other without—though she couldn’t remember which was which. Yes, the cook was stoned.

This happened last year. Guests to that Thanksgiving dinner near the Russian River had better be very careful—or not at all, she said. I didn’t take any chances. I helped myself to both stuffings, and dark meat, cranberries, mashed potatoes, yams and a river of gravy. I’d carved the turkey before I’d had anything to smoke or eat that might have led to intoxication. Best not to take chances with a sharp knife, even if you’re an expert carver. My mother taught me how to carve a turkey and I’ve never forgotten how. Both of my parents—who lived not far from the cozy house where I celebrated Thanksgiving in 2018—smoked the marijuana, which my father grew in the back 40, and kept a secret from my mother.

For the last 20 years or so I’ve celebrated Thanksgiving with more or less the same people. Not everyone smokes weed. But most of the guests do, including the host who, like my father, grows his own. Some years ago, when I first began to explore the weed world as a journalist, I asked him whether there was organized crime in the Sonoma County cannabis world. “Well, I’d hate to be an unorganized criminal,” he said.

This Thanksgiving, he has a lot to be thankful for, including a bumper crop, though I know a half-dozen West County residents who didn’t get to harvest their weed because county officials swooped down and confiscated their crops. Another grower was the victim of a home invasion and a robbery in the middle of the night. The thieves got away with his weed, which he had harvested, cured and dried.

What surprises me most of all are the folks from out-of-state who arrived shortly before Thanksgiving this November, bought all the weed they could buy with cash and shipped it back to Alabama, Mississippi, Georgia and Texas. Their friends and family members, I’m told, also had a lot to be thankful for.

How much longer the so-called black market can go on, I don’t know. But as long as growers and traffickers can make big money out-of-state it will go on big time. Anyone who talks about the cannabis industry as post-capitalist is as phony as the Republicans who claim their president did nothing wrong with, to, or about the Ukrainians. Hey, we live in a quid-pro-quo world. You scratch my cannabis back and I’ll scratch yours.

Grateful Daed

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Trawling for Thanksgiving quotes, Bohemian-contributor and Petaluma Argus-Courier community-editor David Templeton emailed a questionnaire to the usual suspects. He topped it with “What are you most thankful for right now?” I have yet to reply because A) I’m on my own damn deadline and B) the question gives me psychic hives.

I begrudge Templeton nothing, but the query registers as a threat to the heap of social anxiety that cringes just below my well-hewn persona. Perhaps it’s too personal or too undeveloped to express, or maybe I haven’t taken the time to cook up a pithy, on-brand answer—something affably wry with just enough poignancy to suggest I’m human.

This isn’t the first time I’ve failed this test. Remember Cafe Gratitude, the vegan cafe on Marin’s Miracle Mile? They were known for a peculiar ritual that arrived with the bill—the server would ask, in that sanctimonious tone peculiar to aughts-era millennials, “What are you grateful for?”

Sudden, self-righteous rage was harder to come by back then so I suppose I should’ve been grateful for that. As with Templeton now, I hadn’t worked up a bit back then, so I improvised something about my disdain for ending sentences in a preposition.

“There’s no ‘attitude’ in ‘gratitude,'” they replied.

I had to write it down on the napkin to make sure. Damn it, they were right. Cafe Gratitude shuttered all of its Bay Area eateries by 2015. The owners retreated to Los Angeles and a year later endured death threats from vegans after they decided to start eating meat again. No one got hurt (except, apparently, some animals) and Cafe Gratitude continues to thrive as a vegan hub in several LowCal locations.

I was curious as to whether the proprietors brought their post-meal question ritual to Los Angeles, so I called the location in my old neighborhood, Venice. When asked, Jalysa kindly informed me that their location asks a different question every day. At the time of this reporting, the query was “What are you overcoming today?” I suppose I’m overcoming my ingratitude today, Jalysa. Here’s why:

According to PsychologyToday.com, that online enclave where armchair psychologists can diagnose their exes’ borderline personality disorders, one will also learn that “Psychologists find that…feeling grateful boosts happiness and fosters both physical and psychological health, even among those already struggling with mental health problems.” Which is to say me and my entire readership. So, in our mutual self-interest, I’ll start:

I’m grateful someone put the Charlie Brown Thanksgiving playlist on Spotify.

I was playing “Charlie’s Blues” while writing these very words when my partner Karen asked, “Are you on hold?”

“Good grief,” I sighed. But, yeah, some Vince Guaraldi jazz does sound like on-hold music.

Grateful or grating? I dunno. Now you, dear reader—what are you grateful for?

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Trawling for Thanksgiving quotes, Bohemian-contributor and Petaluma Argus-Courier community-editor David Templeton emailed a questionnaire to the usual suspects. He topped it with "What are you most thankful for right now?" I have yet to reply because A) I'm on my own damn deadline and B) the question gives me psychic hives. I begrudge Templeton nothing, but the query registers as...
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