Rollin’ Deep

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“This Is the Roll You’ve Been Looking For,” proclaims the Jedi mind trick at Haku Sushi in Santa Rosa. Except it’s no trick—upon tasting the tuna, salmon, yellowtail, avocado and tobiko roll wrapped with cucumber and drizzled with sunomono sauce, it’s apparent that this is, indeed, the roll you’ve been looking for all along.

This crunchy, super-fresh delight is one of the dozens of rolls with deliciously witty titles at Haku Sushi, which opened last month in Santa Rosa’s Brickyard Center. Others include “What She’s Having” (if the table next to you starts to shake, this is probably what was ordered) and the deep-fried cream cheese-and-salmon spectacular, “Thunder Down Under.”

Haku also offers udon, bento boxes and other traditional Japanese fare; it’s not easy to choose with so many enticing options. Perplexed diners could just yell out, “Roll Me a Fatty!” and find themselves rewarded with a tasty combination of tuna, white tuna, salmon, avocado and cucumber wrapped in daikon radish sprouts and crab. But try to avoid eye contact with the live betta fish used as shelf decoration: after too many “fatties,” things could get weird. 518 Seventh St., Santa Rosa. 707.541.6359.

Apple Blossom Time

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Everyone loves a parade, and especially in Sebastopol, the town that made the Gravenstein apple world-famous.

The 67th annual Apple Blossom Festival kicks off on Saturday, April 20, with a parade that begins at 10am at Analy High School and ends downtown around noon. The theme for this year’s festivities is “Hometown Reunion,” with food, music and down-home hospitality as bands blare, floats drift by, school kids march and vintage autos cruise. Where else can one see floats from vineyards side by side with floats from marijuana dispensaries?

On Sunday, April 21, inimitable bluesman Bill Bowker hosts an outdoor festival of music in Ives Park with Rick Estrin and the Nightcats, Volker Strifler and San Francisco’s Tia Carroll and Cathy Lemons—but don’t miss warmup act the Red Hot Mamas, this weekend comprising Nancy Wenstrom, Jackie Enx, Diane McFee, Diva Ladee Chico and the Queen of North Bay blues, Sarah Baker.

“We’re definitely red hot, and we’re definitely mamas who deliver rhythm and blues,” Baker says. “When we play together we connect with our musical roots. I think we’ll do much the same for you, so come on down and listen.” Festival runs 10am–6pm on Saturday and 11am–5pm on Sunday in Ives Park, Sebastopol. $10 general admission. For more info, visit www.sebastopol.org.

If You Dare

‘Tis not folly to be Wiseau. Tommy Wiseau, star and director of The Room, is the man behind the cult film that, in some cities, has played for two or four or even 10 years.

The Room is an unusual movie. It’s mumblecore and melodrama wrapped into one big burrito. It’s a love story in a cinematic culture that pigeonholes such films as chick flicks. On April 25, it finally makes its way to Santa Rosa as part of the Roxy Theater’s weekly cult film series, which in the last seven months has brought fan favorites like Creepshow, Evil Dead, My Bloody Valentine, Troll 2 and dozens of others in popular double features every Thursday.

Local improv troupe Opposing Media will riff on the movie, MST3K-style, during the screening, and they’ll have plenty of source material. Like Troll 2, The Room is routinely cited as one of the worst movies of all time. And—by “Roomies”—one of the best.

“What people don’t understand,” says Santa Cruz filmmaker Jesse Goldsmith, “is that The Room isn’t a bad movie at all. The Room is a masterpiece. Really. One of the few essential San Francisco movies since Vertigo.”

Considering Wiseau’s international promotional tours, CNN interviews and a choice line-drop on The Simpsons (“Lisa, you’re tearing me apart!”), he must have done something right. Loosely, The Room is the story of a brooding, long-haired and heavily accented man savaged by romantic betrayal in San Francisco.

“It was a movie made by design,” Wiseau explains by phone from Los Angeles. “I spent a lot of money to create this little baby. As a filmmaker, the more colors you use, the better; the more details, the better. The elements of the story—the drugs; two are better than three; three’s a crowd—all this stuff is based on life and the interaction between humans.”

The 10th-anniversary edition of The Room on Blu-Ray includes new documentary footage that Wiseau says proves that there was a method to his romantic madness. Wiseau’s source was his own 800-page novel, which he then shortened into a play—and then a film script. (The source book may be published soon.)

The origin of the film’s cult status can be traced to an Oscar-qualifying Los Angeles screening in a theater where the only available slot was late at night. Wiseau purchased a billboard (“With good traffic—it wasn’t cheap”) to promote the screening. Thanks to word of mouth, the film drew a crowd. Wiseau ended up extending the billboard contract for five years.

The Room‘s fame has even changed the opinions of people who worked on it. “After 10 years,” Wiseau relates happily, “I’m running into people who quit the film who now want credit on it.”

‘The Room’ screens in a double feature with ‘The Big Lebowski’ on Thursday, April 25, at the Roxy Theater. 85 Santa Rosa Ave., Santa Rosa. 7pm. $10. 707.522.0330.

Invested Interests

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An overview of the city of Santa Rosa’s investment portfolio raised several eyebrows at a city council meeting on April 9.

According to a presentation by the city’s investment management team, PFM Asset Management, Santa Rosa’s $298.2 million portfolio is invested in a variety of federal, state and corporate pools. The city’s corporate investments, totaling $44.7 million, include JPMorgan Chase, General Electric and the Walt Disney Company in amounts of roughly $6 million each, and Wells Fargo, Pepsi and Toyota in amounts of roughly $3 million each, among others. Additionally, roughly $3 million is invested in the Metropolitan Water District of Southern California.

While PFM advocates so-called socially responsible investment policies by refusing corporate investments in the tobacco, firearms, alcohol, pornography, gambling and petroleum industries, councilmember Gary Wysocky pointed out that many Sonoma County residents may not consider JPMorgan Chase, GE and Wells Fargo to be socially responsible. He also questioned investments in Southern California’s water district.

Councilmember Jake Ours agreed with some of Wysocky’s concerns, calling the water district in question “the big bad guy.” Councilmember Julie Combs expressed a desire for the city to invest more in the local economy, ultimately voting not to amend the city’s current practice to allow municipal investments out of state.

While the amendment passed, council asked city staff to research the boundaries of the poorly titled social responsibility clause, to be discussed at a later date.

Letters to the Editor: April 17, 2013

In Sympathy

I am praying for the whole Herczog family. Houston should not be added to that statistic of 400,000 mentally ill in prison. In a hospital, Houston can teach doctors more about his disease so this doesn’t happen to another family. I am holding the right thought that he will not be sentenced to prison. I am beyond sad for this whole family.

Via online

What a sad story. My sympathy to the family. I remember Mark, Annette and Marilyn from the mid-1980s in San Francisco. May God have mercy.

San Francisco

I absolutely agree with the thrust of this article. After having known Mark personally, and having a nephew who suffers from this disease, I believe that a delicate balance between mercy, wisdom and keen judgment desperately needs to be exercised. Mark was a deeply caring individual, and probably would be the first to testify on Houston’s behalf.

Calistoga

From NAMI’s website: In 1992, the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) and Public Citizen’s Health Research Group released a report titled Criminalizing the Seriously Mentally Ill: The Abuse of Jails As Mental Hospitals, which revealed alarmingly high numbers of people with schizophrenia, bipolar disorder and other severe mental illnesses incarcerated in jails across the country. A report issued by the United States Department of Justice in 1999 revealed that 16 percent of all inmates in state and federal jails and prisons have schizophrenia, manic depressive illness (bipolar disorder), major depression or another severe mental illness. In the years following these reports, the situation has not improved. This means that on any given day, there are roughly 283,000 persons with severe mental illnesses incarcerated in federal and state jails and prisons. In contrast, there are approximately 70,000 persons with severe mental illnesses in public psychiatric hospitals, and 30 percent of them are forensic patients. NAMI’s position is for treatment, not punishment.

My thoughts and prayers are with all affected by this tragedy, including Mark, his family, friends, acquaintances and our whole community.

Executive Director, NAMI Sonoma County

Internet Access at SSU

Last Friday I went to the Jean and Charles Schulz Information Center at Sonoma State University to inquire about SSU’s recently implemented restrictions to internet access. With incredulity, I listened to an IT employee inform me that inside the Information Center (where most people on campus access the internet), the university can do as it pleases with the endowment it received from the Schulz family. I was then instructed to direct my complaint in writing to the Information Center CIO.

In response, Information Center CIO Jason Wenrick explained that because of bandwidth limitations and security concerns, internet access is now only granted at the university to students, staff and faculty (current and former), and, on a temporary basis, to those “sponsored by an official SSU person.”

While perhaps within his legal right to restrict access, I remind Mr. Wenrick that the mission of a public university is to provide higher education opportunities for everyone, not just current students. The university should follow the lead of other public institutions, such as San Francisco State University and the Rohnert Park Public Library, and continue to grant internet access to all.

I am highly skeptical that this new policy honors the spirit with which the Schulz family originally donated monies for the construction of the center more than 13 years ago.

Rohnert Park

Dept. of Milkshakes

In last week’s profile of Pick’s Drive-In in Cloverdale, we accidentally named the owner as Claudio Clow. The owner’s name is, in fact, Claudia Clow. Rather than spend any more time apologizing in print, however, we’re headed up there now to regret the error in person with a bacon cheeseburger and a side of fries.

Pulling up a barstool

Write to us at le*****@******an.com.

Heavy Machine

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Peter Williams came from Yoshi’s San Francisco to the Napa Valley Opera House last year, and as artistic director wasted no time booking world-class jazz talent: Branford Marsalis, Jack DeJohnette, Joshua Redman, Bill Frisell and many others.

This week, the Opera House’s jazz offerings continue with avant-funkalicious trio Medeski Martin & Wood. The cacophony of these bad daddies of cool are sure to light a fire under the usual provincial wine-and-cheese audiences. Many recent MM&W albums have been live, like last year’s Free Magic, and this show sees them on acoustic instruments, just like their early days of the 1990s.

MM&W get into some serious jams, but don’t compare them to Phish—these guys bring in hip-hop and funk, and even released a children’s album. Will they lay down a clown carnival of confusion and dissonance? Will it be a night dedicated to Thelonious Monk? Whatever’s on the itinerary, the show will no doubt unsettle the town with psychedelic soundscapes and unresolved riffs resting on beautiful musical architecture. Ready to take the trip? Medeski Martin & Wood lead the way on Friday, April 19, at the Napa Valley Opera House. 1030 Main St., Napa. 8pm. $25–$30. 707.226.7372.&

Radio Days

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Radio Days

KSRO 1350-AM and its radio-dial siblings (97.7 the River, Hot 101.7, Froggy 92.9 and Mix 104.9) have been sold to local owners by Connecticut-based parent company Maverick Media. The assemblage of new investors is led by former KSRO owner and Sonoma County resident Lawrence Amaturo.

The sale was announced to employees on Monday, says KSRO news producer Tony Landucci. “I’m definitely optimistic with the ownership being local,” he says. “I’m excited to see how it will be different having local ownership rather than someone on the other side of country.”

Amaturo, who is a co-owner of Nissan and Kia of Santa Rosa, sold KSRO and three other stations in 2000 for $30 million, reportedly paying $4.5 million for the radio properties in this deal.

Maverick Media was not exactly popular with local listeners. When afternoon host Steve Jaxon of The Drive was cut in 2010, listeners protested and he was back on the air within weeks. In 2011, the company killed popular hard-rock station 101.7 the Fox and replaced it with a Top 40 format, prompting a protest outside the station. And when the Good Food Hour with John Ash was axed from KSRO last year, the response was a mix of anger and confusion.

“Everybody’s very happy, because no one liked being owned by a company in Connecticut that didn’t know anything about Sonoma County,” says Jaxon of the sale. On Amaturo’s ownership, Jaxon has nothing but enthusiasm. “I was there in 1996 when he bought the stations,” he says. “He was new to the market then, but now he’s been here 25 years, and he knows the market inside out. It’s gonna be a great day for radio.”—Nicolas Grizzle

Hands in the Air

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Recently, after an audition at a local theater company in one of Sonoma County’s popular tourist towns, I was looking for a place to eat. It was a balmy spring evening, and as I walked from one restaurant to another, perusing the posted menus and sticking my head in the doors to check out the atmosphere, I realized that none of these white-tablecloth places were calling my name.

“Oh, my God,” I exclaimed to my partner. “Hi Five has ruined me.”

“We could go back to Guerneville,” she responded patiently.

“No, no,” I said. “I’m too hungry. Let’s eat here.”

The next evening, we were back at Hi Five.

We ordered bibimbap—a rice bowl with vegetables, fried egg, seaweed, kimchi and a choice of protein—and giant beer-battered shrimp with sushi rice and a variety of Korean condiments. Our appetizer was a paper cone of hand-cut french fries, smothered in whole chili peppers, garlic cloves, seaweed and scallion rings. It was all deeply satisfying, as expected.

Those who haven’t been to Guerneville in the past few months might be wondering what I’m talking about. The truth is, you could walk right by Hi Five without noticing it. That’s because it’s a dinnertime pop-up situated in the 1950s-style diner Pat’s, where the Hines family has been serving breakfast and lunch since they purchased the place in 1943.

At 3pm, Pat’s closes for the day and the Hi Five crew rush in to prep for dinner, stashing all the Pat’s paraphernalia in a back kitchen and bringing out the Hi Five platters and condiments.

David Bloomster, who owns Hi Five with business partner and chef Eugene Birdsall, says he’s had his eye on Pat’s for years, and sharing the space with a dinner-only restaurant is a not-too-risky way to begin.

“It’s so authentic,” he says, noting its old-fashioned soda fountain, giant wall map of Russian River fishing holes and minimalist décor. “I could never have designed it myself.”

Bloomster and Birdsall met next door at Boon Eat + Drink, one of the first major contributors to Guerneville’s culinary renaissance. At the time, Bloomster was the manager and Birdsall was the chef. They worked together for four years, developing respect for each other’s expertise.

Bloomster, whose background is in art and design, had an idea for what he calls a “postmodern” restaurant, where the setting is laid-back, the food is sophisticated, and the approach is about having fun. Birdsall, he decided, was the man who could pull this off, with years of hardcore experience and a fearlessness about which foods work together.

And it is working. So far, the restaurant is crowded every night, chock-full of locals, tourists from the Bay Area and day-trippers from Santa Rosa, Healdsburg and beyond. Clearly, there is something unique happening here, between the vintage décor, the ’80s disco music (they will turn it down if you ask), the personable, intelligent waiters and the food.

Oh, yes, the food. Birdsall combines his intimate knowledge of the Korean dishes his mother cooked in Solano County with a whimsical appreciation of American comfort cuisine and an artist’s sense of how to make food on a long, gleaming white plate look like a yummy still-life.

This results in everything from bossam—a lettuce-wrap plate with kimchi, garlic, chiles, rice, Korean soybean paste, a choice of tofu, chicken, shrimp or pork, and a huge mound of fresh butter lettuce — to mac and cheese with Korean-style beef short ribs and Asian garnishes.

Many of Birdsall’s ingredients are locally sourced, including whole pig that he butchers each week in a back kitchen. His mother joins him to make the kimchi.

The menu is divided into five sections, priced at increasing increments of $5. Each section features five dishes, except for the last one, the weekly surprise.

Many of the selections are already vegetarian and/or gluten-free. The amazing Korean fried chicken (KFC) is dipped in rice flour, instead of the usual wheat flour, before frying, and then finished with a spicy soy-ginger mixture that is made from organic, gluten-free soy sauce. The noodle bowl comes with soba, udon or rice noodles, and meat or vegetable stock. Many of the entrées offer a choice of tofu, shrimp, chicken, pork or beef.

Bloomster, who has been a vegetarian for most of his adult life, is proud that at least half of the dishes can be prepared vegetarian-style, and that one even includes tempeh.

“It’s so West County,” he says.

There’s also a small selection of local wine by the glass, good beer and designer sake, all served from the bar.

It might be an exaggeration to say that eating at Hi Five could spoil you for other restaurants, but try it once, like my partner and I did, and you’ll be back.

Hi Five, 16236 Main St., Guerneville. 707.869.8006.

Road to Destruction

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Look, I know they’re called CalTrans, and I know their name doesn’t stand for “Caring Always, Loving the Rain and Noble Soil.” They’re in the business of roads, which by their nature pave paradise.

But CalTrans has a problem, and since it’s that time of year when the words “Earth Day” appear so cheerfully in marketing materials but not as often as they should in indictments of public agencies, let’s look at CalTrans’ relationship with the environment right now.

First came Rachel Dovey’s report in the Bohemian, in January, about the dozens of redwood trees cut down recently along Highway 101. Rather than protecting the redwoods, CalTrans promoted their removal by allowing the job contractor, Ghilotti Construction, to take possession of and sell the trees for a profit. In fact, Ghilotti was able to pocket $98,000 by selling 200 of the logs back to a public agency—the county of Sonoma. How can a private company profit from removing, then selling, public property? Because, in the words of a county planner, CalTrans classifies redwood trees as “debris.”

Then, at the beginning of April, CalTrans called on a CHP SWAT unit to forcibly remove five tree-sitters protesting the Willits bypass, a project with assured environmental impacts. At dawn, the SWAT officers used cherry pickers and lead bean-bag bullets to extract the protesters from the trees and arrest them, despite there being mediation talks planned with state leaders over the project.

And last week, CalTrans netting along the Petaluma River bridge on Highway 101 was found to have ensnared and killed over a hundred cliff swallows, a protected species. Sebastopol’s Veronica Bowers of Native Songbird Care and Conservation alerted the agency one month ago to the issue, but despite a rising chorus of protest and filmed documentation of the birds’ twisted necks and wings caught in the netting—killing them dead, dead, dead—CalTrans has repeatedly refused to remove the nets.

Yes, CalTrans is in the business of roads—those things that help with forward motion. Would that the agency overseeing them could embrace some forward thinking as well.

Gabe Meline is the editor of this paper.

Open Mic is a weekly op/ed feature. To have your topical essay of 350 words considered for publication, send it to op*****@******an.com.

You Have Died

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“Welcome to Death Cafe!”

Linda Siniard stands before a mix of newcomers and regulars—Siniard calls the latter “repeat offenders”—on a sunny Saturday afternoon in Sebastopol. About 25 people have gathered here in the bright, windowed lunchroom of O’Reilly Media, where Siniard works. Near her is a small round table, on which a makeshift altar—flowers, stones, candles and photos—shares space with several stacks of paper: a questionnaire; downloaded information about end-of-life services; a fill-in-the-blank list that, when filled out, provides all the personal information loved ones might need—computer passwords, location of birth and marriage certificates, phone numbers for family members, insurance carriers, business and medical contacts, and so on.

There’s also a stack of business cards.

On one side is a photo of a latte with a death skull swirled into the coffee’s foam. On the other, Siniard’s smiling face and the catchy slogan, “Where life and death meet, make friends . . . and eat cake.”

Thus begins another Death Cafe.

“Is there anyone here who is in the early stages of grief?”

Siniard watches as a few hands slowly rise around the room.

“You’re welcome here,” she says, “and we hope you’ll stay, but you should know that some people in the early stages of grief find that this is not a great fit for them. Death Cafe is not a therapy group, though it does sometimes have therapeutic outcomes. We laugh a lot more than we cry. We do cry here, but we laugh even more.”

After her introductory remarks, Siniard invites everyone to find a table with three or four others and start the conversations. There are no rules and no guidelines.

At one table, a spontaneous review of the Albert Brooks afterlife comedy Defending Your Life leads to a lively exchange about great death-themed movies. At the next table, after each person has explained his or her particular interest in death, the topic rapidly turns to parents and the struggle of finding end-of-life options for parents unwilling to face that they can longer be independent. At another table, an artist who claims to be able to speak with the dead describes her process of sculpting dolls to help the living with their grieving process.

Today’s cafe has drawn a wide mix of people, from grounded and fact-based realists to more spiritually inclined adventurers. Some want to talk about their feelings. Some are seeking practical information about how to write a will. Around the room, the tone is respectful, curious, interested and supportive.

“This is a personal mission for me,” explains Siniard, who’s currently working toward her Ph.D. in thanatology, the study of dying, death and grief. “A lot of us here are involved in death and dying in some way. Some are grief counselors or hospice workers; some are doctors, ministers or funeral directors—something that has to do with end-of-life or post-life work and thought.”

The Sonoma County Death Cafe is one of about 60 that take place all over the world. Siniard’s Sebastopol-based version, which she started in December, was recently featured in an NPR segment about the worldwide Death Cafe movement (www.deathcafe.com), started in 2011 by English web designer Jon Underwood.

Underwood was inspired by the work of French sociologist Bernard Crettaz, who, recognizing that modern-day humans are widely uncomfortable with death, began hosting public discussions on the subject of mortality, meeting in Paris cafes. Deciding to create his own Death Cafe in London, Underwood held the first meetup in the basement of his house, with his mother, a psychotherapist, serving as moderator for the discussion.

Tea and cake were served, which immediately became one of the expected elements of any new Death Cafe. Other guidelines are that they must be free, they must encourage confidentiality and a sense of security, there must be no intention of leading participants to any particular conclusion, product, belief system or course of action—and there must be cake.

“Death Cafe is very much a grass-roots type of movement, all-volunteer,” Siniard explains as a few latecomers grab a cup of coffee or tea and a slice of cake, and find a conversation-in-progress to join. The goal of the cafe, simply put, is to take some of the stigma out of death, the one element of life that everyone shares in common. We all die. We might as well have a little fun with it on our way to facing it.

“For me, the Death Cafes have been a very positive experience,” nods Siniard, who lost her son a few years ago. “The goal of the cafe is to take the subject of death out of the closet, out of the very secret, painful place it’s been kept for years, and to make it normal.

“Because, really, what’s more normal than death?”

Rollin’ Deep

"This Is the Roll You've Been Looking For," proclaims the Jedi mind trick at Haku Sushi in Santa Rosa. Except it's no trick—upon tasting the tuna, salmon, yellowtail, avocado and tobiko roll wrapped with cucumber and drizzled with sunomono sauce, it's apparent that this is, indeed, the roll you've been looking for all along. This crunchy, super-fresh delight is one...

Apple Blossom Time

Parade, Red Hot Mamas, vintage cars and more

If You Dare

Is 'The Room' the worst movie ever, or a masterpiece?

Invested Interests

An overview of the city of Santa Rosa's investment portfolio raised several eyebrows at a city council meeting on April 9. According to a presentation by the city's investment management team, PFM Asset Management, Santa Rosa's $298.2 million portfolio is invested in a variety of federal, state and corporate pools. The city's corporate investments, totaling $44.7 million, include JPMorgan Chase,...

Letters to the Editor: April 17, 2013

Letters to the Editor: April 17, 2013

Heavy Machine

Medeski Martin & Wood lay down grooves in Napa

Radio Days

Santa Rosa's oldest radio station returns to local ownership

Hands in the Air

Hi Five in Guerneville an unassuming, rewarding pop-up

Road to Destruction

This Earth Day, raise a middle finger to CalTrans

You Have Died

How are people going to remember you? The Death Cafe is here to help
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