Aug. 16: Nova Albion at Hopmonk Tavern in Novato

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Step one: produce an EP with two naked people staring out over the San Francisco landscape. Step two: write a band bio that describes this cover picture, and throw in some strange ramblings/possible song lyrics to make it seem as if you’re in a cult and looking for followers. Step three: eh, let’s just see how that last part plays out. Such is the quirky vibe of San Francisco-based Nova Albion, and who knows whether or not one can judge this book by its cover. The indie band plays a record-release show this Friday and, since the group trucks in the same amount of mystery as a unicorn, there’s no telling what exactly the performance will have in store. Test the waters and “join them” on Friday, Aug. 16, at Hopmonk Tavern. 224 Vintage Way, Novato. $10. 9pm. 415.892.6200.

Review: Cochon 555 Heritage Fire Napa

Not an Ozzy album cover

I took an extra long shower this morning. It’s not so easy to get deep, penetrating smoky meat aroma out of one’s pores with just one scrub, and considering where I was yesterday, I might be taking another shower in the middle of the day.

Cochon 555’s Heritage Fire event at Charles Krug Winery in St. Helena celebrates chefs who specialize in cooking a whole animal, over open flame, with just the right amount of crazy-eye to make it look like they’re having too much fun. The carnal display of butchery drew groups of salivating, bloodthirsty human savages to the demonstration station, eyes glued to the knives carving up cuts of whole pig, goat and rabbit as if they were watching the Super Bowl. Abundant wine and hard cider didn’t hurt the desire to watch, either. There’s something alluring about raw meat, and I think that’s what the organizers of this event have figured out.

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We started off with a nice juicy pinot and the first food in our path was heirloom tomato salad from the Culinary Institute of America (which is located across the street from the winery). Then we had lovely toast with cheese and other toppings from Jacobsen Orchards. I was beginning to get worried that the meat wasn’t ready yet, or that we had misunderstood the idea of the event and it was somehow, for some ungodly reason, celebrating the absence of meat.

But the next table over had lobster salad, and next to that was a crispy fried beef tendon. Once the tendon flavor hit my taste buds, I could feel the transformation taking place. My placation of vegetables and their place in society jumped out the window, tumbled down a mountain and sunk to the bottom of the Pacific Ocean. My eyes rolled back into my head and reemerged as white orbs with beady red pupils in the shape of a cleaver. I had a sudden urge to watch “American Psycho” and “Gangs of New York” simultaneously.

[jump]

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Even with minimal seasoning, the meat at Cochon was incredible. The chicken, a rare heritage breed, possibly Buckeye, was roasted with salt and pepper, head- and feet-on, laid atop chicken wire propped over an open flame. (Now I know why they call it chicken wire! Lol!) This was literally the best chicken I’ve ever tasted. Ever. Hands down. No contest. I really wish I’d confirmed the name of the breed, but sensory overload will make one forget to gather details. I do know it was from Azalea Springs Farm of Calistoga.

The chicken table was pretty close to the Crispin Cider table, which resulted in liberal pours of unique, wonderfully refreshing bubbly beverages. The “artisanal reserve” was especially delicious. The unfiltered apple cider is brewed in a Belgian style, with herbs found in light wit-style ales entwined with tart, sweet apple flavor. Another cider was aged in bourbon barrels, giving the light drink a heavy, somewhat bitter taste and a depth not normally found in cider. It wasn’t perfect but had potential to be an extremely good pairing with sweet meat. That theory was tested with duck.

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Duck tostadas from Antica Napa Valley were stunning: sweet meat and fresh cabbage meant not much else was needed (except the duck fat brownies, which they advertised but I never saw materialize). But the Mexican dish that reigned supreme this day was the beef tongue tacos by The Thomas. The display included whole tongues punctured by a metal rod, hovering over an accouterment bar for the tacos, which were being handed out with a smile. Everyone was smiling at the taco bar. In fact, I’m still smiling from my experience at the taco bar. These weren’t tacos de lengua, these were Beef Tongue Tacos from The Thomas. The difference is size (these were enormous, by taco standards) and flavor (the handmade sauces, not salsas but sauces, were each incredible on their own and each made the tongue tacos a different experience.) The elote (skewered corn with queso fresco and hot sauce) served with these tacos was almost better than the tacos themselves. Almost.

I’ll mention the seafood casually because, stacked up with flesh of the land it doesn’t really compare. For the first time I can remember, I ate a raw oyster. I didn’t die, as I predicted might happen, but I didn’t have any epiphanies about the shellfish I had been neglecting my whole life. Sturgeon, prepared on a spit by Goose & Gander, was not bad. Sturgeon really needs to be plated and gussied up to be enjoyed to the fullest, but the crispy sturgeon skin was great. It was like sturgeon-flavored popcorn without any fishy taste.

All in all, I ate the following animals yesterday: beef (tartate, tongue and tendon), pork, chicken, squab (pigeon), lobster, sturgeon, duck, anchovy, goat and oyster. It really could not have been any better, and anyone who could possibly make it to next year’s event should buy tickets now. Right now.

Note the saw on the left...

Live Review: Anjelah Johnson at the Uptown Theater

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She started as a wave, rolling in from far out in the ocean. She built up steam and, halfway through the show, her jokes began to land with explosions of laughter. Anjelah Johnson is more than a one-joke pony–this California comedian’s built to last.

Slipping seamlessly between “normal” and her lovable ghetto gurrrl voiced-characters, Johnson was a quick study for the audience at Napa’s Uptown Theater last night. Some hilarious jokes were performed so quick and nonchalantly that the audience, largely unfamiliar with much of the culture she was referencing, probably would have laughed even harder had they grown up in a more diverse area. Her opening joke nailed this sentiment. “I’ve never been to Napa before,” says the Mexican comedian who grew up in San Jose before moving to Los Angeles. “I thought it would be more…” and she made a snooty duck face. You know, the ones on every teenager’s Facebook page, but influenced by a glass of wine and a sense of entitlement. Before anyone starts up the hate train, I stress that she said it wasn’t like that. Unbundle your undies, already.
I’m going to sandwich a bit about Kabir Singh’s set in the middle because I don’t want anyone to miss it. This Indian comedian opened the night with hillarious riffs on Indian culture, among other topics. He’s very loud and energetic and it’s tough not to like him. Besides that, his jokes are great. One of my favorites was Indians bargaining: “Even an Indian getting mugged would bargain. ‘I’m gonna shoot you!’ ‘Ok, buddy, how about you just stab me and we call it a day, huh?'”
Johnson recently married a Christian rapper, who was on hand to pose for pictures with everyone leaving the theater. If you search Instagram, just type “Anjelah Johnson’s hudband”–this will yield more results than his name, surely, which I still don’t know. Even though she once had a whole joke about the oxymoronic music genre that is Christian rap, Johnson (and her huge, sparkly diamond ring) seems quite happy with the turn of events. Her jokes about moving in and starting a life together were not as brutal as they could have been. Maybe her biggest peeve was her husband’s use, once, of her toothbrush. “I never even thought of that as an option,” she says.
Johnson mostly went with new material, but a few Raiderettes in the crowd, waving pom poms after the best jokes, caught her attention. She busted out some moves (she was a Raiders cheerleader in 2003 when the team went to the Super Bowl), and even made a Raiders joke (the punchline was, essentially, the Raiders). The Raiders fan in the front row could not argue, and even took off his hat in a moment of shame.
She saved her “hits” for the end, busting out the characters of Bon Qui Qui and the Nail Salon Lady while showing T-Shirts and even a 3-song rap CD featuring the characters. She rapped along with some of it over the sound system and said the idea was picked up by Atlantic Records and to expect a full-length effort soon. With all her skills (she’s a talented dancer, singer and rapper in addition to being ridiculously funny), it’s a wonder she hasn’t landed more movie roles or her own TV show (though she does a significant amount of voice acting). If this album news is true, it could be the crossover hit that cements her career. Hey, good music is good, and good music that’s funny is often even more entertaining.
 
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Guerneville Offers Free Wifi

Free wifi is just about everywhere these days¬—including Guerneville. The Guerneville Chamber of Commerce announced today that it has taken the plunge and made wifi coverage available free throughout the riverside city all the way to Johnson’s Beach.

Though the idea is somewhat high tech, it’s not new. Santa Rosa has offered free, wifi downtown for years, though Petaluma hasn’t caught on. Come on, Petaluma, you’re the heart of what used to be called Telecom Valley and you can’t get free downtown wifi? Guerneville beat you to that? Really?

Remember when people paid for Internet by the minute? Crazy!

Aug. 13: Lyle Lovett & His Large Band at Marin Center Showcase Theatre

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With his signature tall, curly coif and ensemble band in tow, Texas-based Lyle Lovett & His Large Band make their debut in Marin County this week. Lovett, a triple-threat songwriter, musician and actor, has garnered fans nationwide with his fusing of American music elements—country, swing, jazz and folk. With four Grammys under his belt, this eclectic performer has never been one to shy away from the spotlight. I mean, who can forget his quickie marriage-divorce to Julia Roberts? Fans nevertheless remain enthralled with Lovett’s greatest calling, music, and now he brings his band of 14 players on Tuesday, Aug. 13, at Marin Center Showcase Theatre. 10 Avenue of the Flags, San Rafael. $50—$90. 8pm. 415.473.6800.

Aug. 11: El Gusto at the Green Music Center

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Once upon a time in 2003, director Safinez Bousbia discovered the story of a group of Jewish and Muslim artists separated by war more than 50 years ago. These musicians shared one quality, a passion for chaabi, a blend of Berber, Andalusian and Flamenco sounds. Bousbia and these artists came together to produce the 2011 documentary El Gusto, which chronicles the stories and musical production of the group, called The Buena Vista Social Club of Algiers. Flip ahead to this week, and the 20-piece orchestra comes to Sonoma County to provide a screening of the inspirational film and a lively performance for guests on Sunday, Aug. 11, at the Green Music Center. 1801 East Cotati Ave., Rohnert Park. $5. 4pm. 866.955.6040.

Aug. 11: Zucchini Festival and Antique Show at Windsor Farmers Market

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Chop it, steam it, bake it, fry it—there really isn’t much that can’t be done to zucchini. What better way to honor the multifaceted summer vegetable than to throw a party for it, and heck, why not throw in some antiques as well? The Zucchini Festival & Antique Show appears this weekend and, boy, is it packed with the zest of life. Zucchini lovers can view a veggie garnishing and carving demo with SRJC chef Lauren Helvajian, enter the Biggest Zucchini Contest and race zucchini cars. Antique lovers can view showcased treasures from pre-1975 and have their own antiques viewed by certified appraiser Phil Eagle. Live music, food and a Kidz Corral round it out on Sunday, Aug. 11, at Windsor Certified Farmers Market. 701 McClelland Drive, Windsor. Free. 9am. 707.838.5947.

Aug. 9 – Aug. 11: Healdsburg Guitar Festival

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Guitars: strum, pick and slap these things, and out comes beautiful acoustic melodies or head-banging anthems. With this much amazing variation, is it really any surprise that there’s a three-day celebration dedicated to this single instrument? The 2013 Healdsburg Guitar Festival knows what’s up, because every year it’s dedicated to shining the spotlight on the guitar. Filled with workshop upon workshop, demonstrations, a showcase of hundreds of custom instruments and acoustic guitar summits featuring musicians like Walter Strauss, Teja Gerken, Peter Lang and Kelly Joe Phelps, the festival is a must for those who enjoy playing, listening or anything in between. The fest runs Friday, Aug. 9, to Sunday, Aug. 11, at the Hyatt. 170 Railroad St., Santa Rosa. $15—$149. 9am. 800.477.4437.

Aug. 8: Tim Cahill at Book Passage

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Think your travel stories are incredible to hear because they were adventurous, heroic and life-altering? Well, that just might make author Tim Cahill laugh. The acclaimed travel writer has faced every travel situation one could dream up, as well as ones never imaginable. If the titles of his books, including A Wolverine Is Eating my Leg and Pass the Butterworms: Remote Journeys Oddly Rendered don’t provide enough explanation into his crazy travel adventures, skeptics (or fans) can listen to the author’s own accounts when he joins with National Geographic writer Don George in an evening of travel discussion and readings on Thursday, Aug. 8, at Book Passage. 51 Tamal Vista Blvd., Corte Madera. $10. 8pm. 415.927.0960.

Game Over

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Usually, whenever time is running out on the game, dropping a few extra quarters in the slot is all one needs to keep playing. But for San Rafael’s 32-year-old Starbase Arcade—among the last ’80s-style video game arcades in the country—even the extra points from being a certified institution aren’t enough to qualify for one last bonus round.

The venerable arcade cannot stand up to the skyrocketing rents in San Rafael, so at the end of the month, owner “Video Bob” Albritton will be shutting his doors for good. For Video Bob’s legion of fans, including middle-agers who still recall playing their first game of Centipede or Mortal Kombat at Starbase, news of the arcade’s closure is just one more nail in the coffin of a generation’s collective memories.

Ironically, the news comes just as Starbase is about to be honored in an exhibition about the history of arcade culture, at Twin Galaxies in Fairfield, Iowa. There will be a ceremony marking the demise of Starbase, but it’s unlikely Albritton will be there. Instead, he’ll be busy figuring out what to do with 60-plus video games that are about to lose their home. For fans of Starbase, and video games in general, the countdown has begun. Starbase Arcade pulls the plug in just three weeks. Starbase Arcade, 1545 Fourth St., San Rafael. 415.459.7655.

Aug. 16: Nova Albion at Hopmonk Tavern in Novato

Step one: produce an EP with two naked people staring out over the San Francisco landscape. Step two: write a band bio that describes this cover picture, and throw in some strange ramblings/possible song lyrics to make it seem as if you’re in a cult and looking for followers. Step three: eh, let’s just see how that last part...

Review: Cochon 555 Heritage Fire Napa

Meat, meet mouth. Mouth, meet meat. Now play nice, you two.

Live Review: Anjelah Johnson at the Uptown Theater

She started as a wave, rolling in from far out in the ocean. She built up steam and, halfway through the show, her jokes began to land with explosions of laughter. Anjelah Johnson is more than a one-joke pony–this California comedian’s built to last. Slipping seamlessly between “normal” and her lovable ghetto gurrrl voiced-characters, Johnson was a quick study for...

Guerneville Offers Free Wifi

"Telecom Valley" Petaluma still waiting to catch up to hip, tech-saavy Guerneville.

Aug. 13: Lyle Lovett & His Large Band at Marin Center Showcase Theatre

With his signature tall, curly coif and ensemble band in tow, Texas-based Lyle Lovett & His Large Band make their debut in Marin County this week. Lovett, a triple-threat songwriter, musician and actor, has garnered fans nationwide with his fusing of American music elements—country, swing, jazz and folk. With four Grammys under his belt, this eclectic performer has never...

Aug. 11: El Gusto at the Green Music Center

Once upon a time in 2003, director Safinez Bousbia discovered the story of a group of Jewish and Muslim artists separated by war more than 50 years ago. These musicians shared one quality, a passion for chaabi, a blend of Berber, Andalusian and Flamenco sounds. Bousbia and these artists came together to produce the 2011 documentary El Gusto, which...

Aug. 11: Zucchini Festival and Antique Show at Windsor Farmers Market

Chop it, steam it, bake it, fry it—there really isn’t much that can’t be done to zucchini. What better way to honor the multifaceted summer vegetable than to throw a party for it, and heck, why not throw in some antiques as well? The Zucchini Festival & Antique Show appears this weekend and, boy, is it packed with the...

Aug. 9 – Aug. 11: Healdsburg Guitar Festival

Guitars: strum, pick and slap these things, and out comes beautiful acoustic melodies or head-banging anthems. With this much amazing variation, is it really any surprise that there’s a three-day celebration dedicated to this single instrument? The 2013 Healdsburg Guitar Festival knows what’s up, because every year it’s dedicated to shining the spotlight on the guitar. Filled with workshop...

Aug. 8: Tim Cahill at Book Passage

Think your travel stories are incredible to hear because they were adventurous, heroic and life-altering? Well, that just might make author Tim Cahill laugh. The acclaimed travel writer has faced every travel situation one could dream up, as well as ones never imaginable. If the titles of his books, including A Wolverine Is Eating my Leg and Pass the...

Game Over

Usually, whenever time is running out on the game, dropping a few extra quarters in the slot is all one needs to keep playing. But for San Rafael's 32-year-old Starbase Arcade—among the last '80s-style video game arcades in the country—even the extra points from being a certified institution aren't enough to qualify for one last bonus round. The venerable arcade...
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