Familiar Farce

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Theater companies love to produce theater about theater. 6th Street Playhouse gets in on the act with Ken Ludwig’s 1995 door-slamming farce Moon Over Buffalo, running through Feb. 3.

Buffalo, N.Y.’s Erlanger Theater is hosting the repertory company of George and Charlotte Hay (Dodds Delzell and Madeleine Ashe), grade-B actors and grade-A hams who never made it big onstage. Spending their waning years touring second-rate theaters and playing roles more appropriate for actors half their age, they’re on the ropes when word comes that Frank Capra is coming to see them perform and possibly cast them as replacements for the leads in a big-budget period film.

Charlotte doesn’t believe George, as she’s just found out he’s been lying about an affair he had with company ingénue Eileen (Victoria Saitz). Charlotte announces she’s running off with family attorney Richard (Joe Winkler), which sends George into a drunken spiral.

Once she finds out the Capra story is true, it’s up to Charlotte, her recently returned daughter Rosalind (Chandler Parrott-Thomas), her daughter’s ex-lover and current stage manager, Paul (Robert Nelson), and Charlotte’s hearing-impaired mother, Ethel (Shirley Nilsen Hall), to sober up George in time for the matinee.

There’s also confusion over Rosalind’s current fiancé, Howard (Erik Weiss), who’s mistaken by Charlotte for Capra and by George for Eileen’s vengeful brother. Things conclude with a performance of Noël Coward’s Private Lives mashed up with Cyrano de Bergerac.

Director Carl Jordan has a terrific cast of comedic talents running, jumping and rolling through Ludwig’s tale, which comes off as a lesser knock-off of his superior Lend Me a Tenor. All the elements are there (mistaken identity, feuding lovers, etc.), but at its core, it’s a hollow re-do that starts slowly before hitting its stride. More problematic, the characters as written simply aren’t very likeable. The show only works if you care about the characters and want them to get out of their mess. I just didn’t.

The cast is game and their timing is great, with each squeezing some laughs out of their characters. Delzell gets to play half the show soused, Parrott-Thomas is quite delightful as Rosalind, and while Weiss’ physical comedy is always fun to watch, I’d really like to see him do something different with his next role.

Moon Over Buffalo is a case where the whole is less than the sum of its parts.

Rating (out of 5): ★★★½

Make ’em Laugh

J‌on S. Baird’s biopic Stan & Ollie has a certain inflationary quality, regarding the appeal of a comedy team in their sunset years. But in lovingly recreating Laurel and Hardy’s mid-1950s tour of Britain, it’s a film with lots of charm.

The road is tough on two aging performers. It’s bad when no one shows up at the music halls, and its worse when they’re congratulated for surviving their has-been status. At a seaside pavilion, the hostess toasts them: “Still going strong, and still using the same material!”

Stan Laurel (Steve Coogan) is revealed as the sparkplug of the act, the writer who understood the formula. No matter who else was around them, on screen or stage, Laurel and Hardy needed to be the only person in each other’s world.

As befitting his massive flesh, Oliver (John C. Reilly) has trouble with his vices. He accumulates ex-wives and has a taste for gambling that takes whatever money the alimony leaves. New complications come with the arrival in London of the team’s wives, who are united in mild detestation of each other. Stan’s Russian and haughty Ida (Nina Arianda) is a bit of a princess compared to Oliver’s spouse, Lucy (Shirley Henderson, first rate as always). Seeing Ollie and Lucy laying down together in their room at the Savoy, him immense, her tiny, one gets the pleasure of marveling at the way opposites attract.

Performing Laurel and Hardy’s cherishable “Trail of the Lonesome Pine,” Coogan and Reilly may be even better singers than the originals. They eclipse your memories of their models, with Coogan imitating Stan’s monkeyish head scratch and Reilly, through the fat suit and makeup, evincing the beatific side of Ollie.

It doesn’t break new ground, this biopic, but it has its stinging moments. When the two get into a fight about an old rift, this time Ollie’s slow burn is real, and so is Stan’s hesitant peacemaking.

John Paul Kelly’s lavish production design drips with nostalgia; it can be a tad too sweet and rich for the times, but it’s
more evidence that this film was
a labor of love.

‘Stan & Ollie’ opens Friday, Jan. 25, at select theaters.

Thou King o’ Grain!

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Seems that I misjudged the gloom of a gray Friday morning as I set out on a bicycle trip to Sebastopol, because the light rain forecast for later that day begins before I’m halfway out of Santa Rosa. By the time I reach the door of Spirit Works Distillery, I’m drenched from a cold, steady rain. That’s just as well, for I’m here to taste single malt whisky, and now I’m feeling properly Caledonian.

The birth of Scotland’s national poet, Robert Burns, is celebrated in that nation, and here and there around the world, on Jan. 25. While the proper tipple for that occasion must surely be “Scotch Drink,” to which the poet dedicated one of his famously feisty, merry odes, I want to know if I can find a local version here in the craft-brew-crazy North Bay—after all, beer is made with the very same stuff: malted barley.

I’m on a path with few fellow travelers. “Ninety percent ask for bourbon,” says Lauren Patz, head distiller at Spirit Works, of the customers who want to know what else they’ve got besides wheat and rye whiskey. As for the other 10 percent, “They ask if we make Scotch. They don’t ask us if we make single malt.”

It’s a distinction with a difference: Scotch whisky comes from Scotland. Single malt is a category of malt whisky that comes from a single producer, most notably but not necessarily one in Scotland. At Spirit Works, Patz has a few samples of hidden gems waiting for me: one, distilled last year from California-grown barley and sweetly reekin’ of charred oak and spice, is very “Spirit Works” in character, much like their wheat whiskey. Another, at three and a half years, is smoothed and deepened by time. They’re holding this one back until later in 2019.

“They’re the hidden gems,” Patz says of local single malts tucked away in cellars that are bursting with bourbon and rye.

Indeed. At Moylan’s Distilling Co. in Petaluma, head distiller Tim Welch disappears in the stacks with a Post-It note in hand, after consulting a computer to find where last year’s batch of peated single malt is hidden. He reappears walking one way; then disappear the other way.

Finally, he locates a barrel hidden in plain sight and hammers the wooden bung open. It’s made from peat-smoked malted barley imported from the UK, and it’s spry and heathery, like a young Highland Park from Scotland’s Orkney Islands. When Welch retrieves a seven-year-old sample aged in a sherry barrel, the aged savor of raisins, leather, and wood takes me on a flight of fancy to my beloved Glendronach from the Scottish Highlands. Moylan’s current single malt offerings are aged in port and orange brandy barrels.

Mike Griffo also likes Highland whiskies: “Like, most of the Glens.” At Griffo Distillery in Petaluma, he focuses on gin and rye, but he’s brought out a sample of a young malt that’s earthy and dry, and demonstrates how his high-barley recipe for his Stony Point bottling, technically a bourbon, firms up the sweet corn. Distilled from a Henhouse Brewing beer, Belgian Hen is lightly hopped and slightly biscuity.

At Alley 6 Craft Distillery in Healdsburg the latest single malt is hard to resist. Sappy and creamy, with vanilla and butterscotch notes, it’s a hint of Glenrothes without so much as a day spent in a sherry cask. Distiller Jason Jorgensen is amused by the bias that some craft spirits observers have against the faster, small-barrel system of aging whisky he employs. “I get a kick out of it,” he says. His view is, it’s a short life, why wait for this pleasure? Surely Burns, who lived lustily until 37, would agree.

Healdsburg’s Camellia Inn hosts its annual Burns Supper on Feb. 23. Literary-minded guests can expect song and recitation of Burns classics, while the literal-minded should note that the drinks menu is very strictly limited to wine and beer. For info, call 707.433.8182.

Eggistentially Speaking

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“Sonoma County is ground zero for counter-Trump,” Sonoma State University political science Professor David McCuan proclaimed at the biannual “Blue-Green Eggs & Ham” post-election wrap-up that took place last Saturday at Santa Rosa’s Odd Fellows Hall. McCuan added, “We’re in the middle of a big shift that will literally change the face of the electorate and the whole political picture.”

Organizers for the event borrowed the name from the Dr. Seuss book, Green Eggs and Ham. The true-blue standing-room-only crowd included environmentalists, trade unionists and progressives, all proud of Democratic Party victories last November, and itching to take on Trump in 2020. No one complained that the breakfast meeting didn’t include eggs or ham.

Unlike California’s up-and-coming demographic, which is young and ethnically diverse, the Odd Fellows crowd was mostly white and over the age of 50, with a smattering of students and people of color. As several speakers noted, Sonoma County has grown whiter, wealthier and older ever since the wildfires of October 2017.

On the second of two panels, McCuan rubbed shoulders with Maddy Hirshfield, the political director of the North Bay Labor Council (NBLC), and Daisy Pistey-Lyhne, executive director of Sonoma County Conservation Action (SCCA).

Pistey-Lyhne looked back at the 2018 campaign and noted that, “Progressive had spectacular wins.” Then, she peered into the future and added, “We don’t have enough money to be consistently successful. That takes people power.”

That kind of power helped elect more Latinas to public office in Sonoma County than ever before, including Windsor councilwoman Esther Lemus, Santa Rosa councilwoman Victoria Fleming and Cloverdale councilwoman Marta Cruz. Lemus said, “I ran because I felt that the voices of minorities and women, especially working mothers, were absent from the political process.”

The event began with the big politicos: Eco-focused U.S. Rep. Jared Huffman and Blue Dog centrist Mike Thompson; State Sen. Mike McGuire, the freshly-minted assistant Senate majority leader; and Assemblyman Jim Wood. “Nobody did more or better than North Coast people last fall,” the conservative Democrat Thompson said. “In Orange County, I ran into Sonoma County people canvassing for Democrats down there. We pushed the wheel forward and we’re just getting going.” Numerous GOP districts in Orange County flipped blue this year.

Thompson was recently out-front and center as Nancy Pelosi’s point-person on renewed Democratic efforts on gun control.

McGuire sounded a defiantly anti-Trumpian note. “We’re standing up for California values, fighting for health care for all, and protecting the DACA students,” he said. Jim Wood boasted that there were more women now in the California State Assembly than ever before and insisted that “some Republican members of Congress have to go,” a list which would likely include Kevin McCarthy and Devin Nunes. He added, “Let’s make California the bluest state in the world.”

Let’s pay our blue state comrades a living wage, added Greg Sarris, the Tribal Chair of the Federated Indians of Graton Rancheria. He gave the keynote address and told his popular carrot story. “There are three reasons to grow carrots,” he said. “One, to make money, two, to feed people and three, to share a vision, not just to make money and feed people, but to take care of the workers so that they can afford to eat.” He stressed that the unionized Graton Casino offers a model for the county to follow when it comes to wage equity.

“We pay employees $15 an hour and everyone gets full medical coverage through Kaiser,” he said. A recent report, The State of Working Sonoma, prepared by Jesús Guzmán for North Bay Jobs and Justice, shows that “Forty percent of Latinos belong to a family that works and lives in poverty,” and that “The rent-to-income gap has widened as household incomes have increased by only nine percent while rents have increased a whopping 24 percent from 2000 to 2016.”

The panelists agreed that local campaigning was more toxic than ever before in a divided country—and county? Petaluma mayor Teresa Barrett, who also serves on Bay Area Air Quality Management District talked about how nearly $80,000 in oil-industry money was poured into the race, though the effort backfired, she said. “People saw through it.” Sonoma Mayor Rachel Hundley recounted her fight against a barrage of “anonymous hate-mail” and a bogus website that called her a slut. McCuan offered his campaign wisdom for Democrats in 2020. “Don’t talk about Democracy,” he said. “That’s too abstract. Talk about corruption and greed.”

Flash and the Pan

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Most of the time I spend in Sonoma is in my tattoo studio creating illustrations or bent over scribbling on someone’s body. While I am leaving permanent tattoo marks on people, Sonoma has marked me in a number of ways, and after a dozen years living here, I think I’m qualified to give the inside story on secret, super-secret and out-in-the-open-secret local places worth knowing.

Sure, there are lots of food places out in the open in Sonoma. And true, there are breakfast joints where you can pay more than $20 for two eggs with one slice of bacon and one small, sad potato while surrounded by a décor of corporate logos. But here is the skinny on a small-town, family-owned, warm-hearted place in an art deco–style building built in 1934 that once held a brothel (though I’m not sure if it was Juanita’s), which for the past 20 years has been the Creekside Cafe.

The owner, Casey Monahan (son of Mike and Jody Monahan), shows a real work ethic and commitment to the community, at least when it comes to serving an epic selection of affordable eats. The menu has homemade breakfast and lunch selections, and the restaurant itself offers a chance to rest where locals eat. Two eggs straight-up will set you back $6.75, while the chicken-fried steak, the homemade corned beef hash and eggs, and the pork chop, are all served with eggs and all come in at under $10. You want to go “upscale”? The New York steak and eggs comes in at $12.95.

Well, it’s lunchtime. Already? Yes. And nearby on out-of-the-way Arnold Drive, you’ll find Picazo’s. The Picazo and Chavez family-run business carries a unicorn logo. Indeed, offering affordable food like what’s served at Picazo’s, in any tourist town—well, it’s as rare as that mythical creature.

Picazo’s can be counted on to win any local vote on who serves the best burger in Sonoma, and the burgers come in all shapes and sizes.

Beyond the burgers, Picazo’s offers a variety of American and Mexican items, from breakfast to dinner, and with a full wine and beer menu that’s prepared with love and served in an almost New Jersey–style rustic diner joint.

I can also assure you that the Latino hospitality will leave you with change in your pocket after leaving this place with a full belly. Mayo su estómago ser lleno, y su corazón ser contenido!

Meanwhile in plain sight, famous and well-traveled Sonoma Plaza holds more bottles of wine than John Steinbeck’s Cannery Row winos. Even on the popular and well-traveled Plaza, there are the occasional secrets. While most creative and craftspeople were driven off Sonoma Plaza by economic realities—i.e., the rent is too high—there are some too tenacious to move. They are still putting time in to create art that you can wear collect—and eat.

Park your car and pop into Large Leather, owned by Jessica Zoutendijk. She is formerly of Amsterdam’s Waterlooplein handcrafting district and now she’s a Sonoma fixture. In her narrow space, the smallest on the Plaza, you could imagine she is spinning full cowhides like pizzas. The fact that she is a petite woman of enormous skills and generosity of spirit only becomes apparent when you step in and get a view and a whiff of all that leather, and scan the full racks. Jessica is creating beautiful hand-wrought and magical modern-leather crafts. She handles large cow skins like a boss, adding credence to the old canard that great things come in small packages.

Hungry again? I am. It’s time to go find Mike Zakowski, aka Mike the Baker, who participated in the Coup du Monde de la Boulangerie competition—World Cup of Baking—in France a couple years ago as a member of the U.S. Baking Team. He helped earn the team a silver medal.

Mike specializes in baking with ancient grains that he grows himself. His favorite grain, einkorn, is said to be easily digested, and I can attest to that. Mike’s a regular presence at the Tuesday night farmers market on the plaza during the summer, and the Friday morning farmers market. He’s often spotted looking like the famous image by Henri Cartier-Bresson—a man with baguettes on a bicycle (or on his electric bicycle), bread piled in side baskets as the rider makes local house deliveries or pulls his portable wood-fired oven behind an antique truck. Mike’s range and dedication and obsession transform bread into art; his loaves grace the cover of the Bohemian this week.

OK, time for more shopping. Check out the Lonesome Cowboy Ranch, which features Native American art (old pawn jewelry, pottery, kachinas, etc.), hand-loomed rugs and antiques. There are also custom cowboy hats and a huge selection of vintage cowboy boots—hundreds of them—along with a large selection of Hawaiian shirts and leather bomber jackets. Owner Sandi Miller keeps the store packed with product while manager Bob Barnhart keeps things moving with a no-pressure sales stance. The Lonesome Cowboy is a standout on the Sonoma Highway.

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THE INSIDE INFO

Creekside Café

239 Boyes Blvd. Open 7:30am–2pm; closed Mondays. 707.996.8062.

Picazo Café

19100 Arnold Drive. Monday through Saturday, 6am–4pm; Sunday, 9am–4pm. 707.931.4377. picazocafe.com.

Large Leather

481 First St. W. (the Plaza). Monday–Thursday, 11am–6pm; Friday–Sunday, 11am–6pm. 707.938.1042. large-leather.com.

Mike Zakowski,
aka Mike the Baker

1777 W. Watmaugh Ave. Mike’s shop is not a storefront but a peek into the dedication it takes to be a great baker. 707.938.7607.

Lonesome Cowboy Ranch

18135 Sonoma Hwy. Thursday–Monday, 10:30am–7pm. 831.262.2976. lonesomecowboyranch.com.

Deb Carlen/Flash Friday
Vintage House

264 First St. E. (on the Plaza). Friday, 2pm. 707.996.0311. vintagehouse.org

Tarot Art & Tattoo Gallery

17077 Sonoma Hwy. (in the Springs). 707.938.3000.

tarotarttattoo.com.

Border Myths

The nation is currently enduring a lengthy government shutdown because Congress won’t give Donald Trump $5.7 billion for a border wall he said that Mexico would pay for.

But the supposed border crisis that requires a new wall is based on Trump mythology—a series of “alternative facts” that he and his acolytes continuously put forth. Many of these are amplified by media outlets and talk radio such that large numbers of Americans are misled about the state of the border and immigrants who pass through it.

Why should we in the North Bay be so concerned about Trump’s shenanigans on the border?

There is a humanitarian crisis at the Mexican border—although not one that a wall will solve. Thousands are being held by Customs and Border Protection in inhumane conditions at border facilities. Others are living in squalor at camps on the Mexican side of the border, awaiting asylum processing. Many of these refugees are from regions of Mexico and Central America with large populations in the North Bay. Many have close family in Sonoma, Marin and Napa counties and end up settling here.

Our country has handled refugee crises before. Thousands of European refugees settled here after World War II. In the 1980s, we opened our door to Cubans, Eastern Europeans and others fleeing communism. As before, we ought to work on an orderly and humane manner for handling their claims of persecution—a solution more worthy of a nation of immigrants than an expensive and ineffective wall.

It’s worth examining some of the false myths surrounding the wall debate, so we can all understand better what sort of crisis we have on the border and whether a wall will help at all:

Myth #1: Illegal immigration across our southern border is
out of control

One of the oft-repeated myths is that illegal immigration through the U.S.-Mexican border has been rising and now is higher than ever. Actually, there has been a net drop in undocumented immigration from Mexico over the last 10 years; the overwhelming majority of those trying to cross illegally are now caught and subject to expedited deportation. Many more undocumented immigrants have been deported over the last decade than ever before. In truth, half of the undocumented immigrants here are visa overstays, usually from Europe or Asia.

Myth #2: Asylum seekers all come illegally

In fact, a large portion of the refugees at our southern border are entering the United States legally, seeking asylum under the Refugee Act of 1980. The Trump administration is trying to cut off these legal paths to asylum. But the truth is that most of these families at the southern border—including the caravans of asylum seekers Trump has condemned—are actually following our own immigration laws and procedures.

Myth #3: Many of those coming across the border are criminals and terrorists

Most of those seeking asylum are from parts of Mexico or Central America ravaged by violence at the hands of criminal cartels or gangs. Extortion, kidnapping and murder are commonplace there. Virtually all of the asylum seekers I’ve met reported that their families were targets of this violence and were threatened with more violence if they stayed in their communities.

Department of Homeland Security officials have admitted there has never been any evidence of terrorists entering our southern border, and the claims that gang members proliferate among those seeking asylum is completely unsupported by fact.

Myth #4: These immigrants disappear once allowed in
the United States

All applicants for asylum go through an interview process at the border to determine if they have a “credible fear of persecution” in their home country. Those who fail these interviews are deported immediately.

Those found to have a credible fear of persecution still have to wear an electronic monitor in order to get released. Later, they have a trial before an immigration judge and must prove they have a “well-founded fear of persecution based on religion, race, nationality, political opinion or social group.” If they fail to do so, they are deported.

Trump has falsely claimed only 10 percent show up for their hearings. In fact, the overwhelming majority who file asylum claims appear in court and a substantial number have proven their eligibility for asylum.

Myth #5: Undocumented immigrants get welfare and government aid

Despite repeated claims to the contrary by Trump, undocumented immigrants do not qualify for welfare, food stamps, Medicaid or virtually any other form of government assistance.

Zen and the Art . . .

Ahead of me, on a single-lane street in town, a bicyclist was meandering along, seeming oblivious to me behind him. I sounded my horn, startling the young man back into present time. He pulled over to let me by.

I stopped nearby and another young fellow stomped up to my car. I rolled the window down, and he yelled, “Did you just honk at that cyclist? He has a right to the road! Who do you think you are, you f–––king psychopath!”

“Well, Happy New Year to you too!” I sputtered, startled and shaken. Then wondered, was I “right” in my idea of road courtesy—apart from the guy’s horrid manner?

I saw a local cop getting into his patrol car, and approached him for reassurance and sympathy before I headed home. I thought: How quick we are to judge one another, to assume the worst—to other each other. I brought this topic to my mindfulness class: how we alienate ourselves with myths and assumptions about those perceived as wrongly different, as opposing us. Conversely, if I give myself a chance to interact, bring along “beginner’s mind”—curiosity, open-mindedness, harmlessness—surprising and evolving things can happen.

The morning after my class, I took a nature walk as the first seasonal rains were subsiding. Walking from the opposite direction was a young man, eyes glued to his phone screen—a habit I tend to disparage.

I stared a bit. He noticed, I asked, “What could possibly be worth more than tuning into the beautiful natural world around us?” His eyes twinkled disarmingly and he nodded in recognition. A conversation started, beginning with “Ben” voicing his concerns with screen time for his three kids. We walked and talked and discussed basic values and MO’s for living. We discovered a shared passion for naming life’s holy questions, and that we had different ideas about where answers originate. Ninety minutes sailed by, thoroughly enjoyed.

Ben was a tech-savvy, devout Christian and student of the Bible. I’m a metaphysical, contemplative Jewish crone who doesn’t own a smartphone. Had he not elected to walk with me, or had I rejected having a stranger come along, we would have remained wholly other to one another. After our conversation, his wife arrived to drive him to their motel room—he works temporary construction in the area. We exchanged contact information, vowing to stay in touch.

Ben and I returned to our very different lives, but I’ll always remember our shared fervor. To honor that, I resolve in 2019 to stop, breathe, observe my biases—and proceed with more humanity, equity, curiosity and delight.

Marcia Singer, MSW, teaches mindfulness meditation locally
through the Love Arts Foundation in Santa Rosa.

Letters to the Editor: January 16, 2019

Un-uncensored

I would like to thank Gretchen Giles for mentioning in her Jan. 2 letter to the editor that I picketed your publication. Actually, I and members of my group, Men & Women for Gender Justice, protested for a full day in front of your office. The reason that I am thanking her is because her editor, Greg Cahill, censored the protest even though he had his photographer take pictures of us. We were protesting the newspaper’s backlash against us, especially a hit piece on me penned by Cahill and Giles.

In my twenty-something years as a vocal advocate for men and boys, Giles takes the cake as the most hostile, misandrist and bigoted reporter who has ever interviewed me. Media critic Mark Rosenthal even said it “read like a hit piece” on KSRO talk radio. Ironically, the publication’s slogan at the time was “Uncensored.” I guess it never occurred to Giles that the current Bohemian staff would not know about our direct action because her boss Cahill censored it. But I see that given all your corrections of her claims in her diatribe that accuracy is still not her strong point.

Petaluma

Tom Tom Club

Mary Moore is right, The Paper did not sprout out of the Sonoma County Stump; it was a totally separate entity founded by Bliss Buys (Letters, Jan. 9). Mary, however, mixes up my name with Tom Richman. It was that Tom that helped start Sonomore Atomics and who co-founded The Paper with Elizabeth Poole. I wrote and followed Nick Valentine as editor of The Paper and covered many of the topics Mary mentions, so perhaps thereby lies the confusion.

I agree with Mary that it’s a shame your 40-year issue just barely skimmed The Paper‘s history. The Paper‘s coverage of peace and justice issues, the AIDS crisis, gay rights, the long sewer war with Santa Rosa, marijuana repression, and the battles to save our coast and redwoods, remains essential to the identity of west Sonoma County and should not be forgotten.

Cazadero

Alas, the name mixup was our own, not Ms. Moore’s. We apologize to Mary, both Toms and our readers for the confusion.

—Editor

Eff Trope

Not at all surprised to hear someone call Trump a motherf—er, but instead of accurately reporting what was actually said, the print and broadcast media feel the need to modify it.

They dutifully extract the “–uck” because using the word in its entirety is considered offensive. Is this naïveté or a throwback to Puritanical behavior, or are we in denial?

It’s not like we don’t know what the three dashes are stand-ins for. Unless it’s impaired, the brain knows and “sees” the word as it is. Does the absence of those letters sanitize the word and make it acceptable? Who are we fooling? I say f–ck the FCC and these lame attempts at decorum. It’s time we started calling a sp–de a spade!

Monte Rio

Write to us at le*****@******an.com.

Where the Fern Bar Grows

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When it comes to food and drink, the Barlow in Sebastopol has had its ups and downs from its very inception. While Zazu remained a staple, other restaurants came and went.

Now Fern Bar, a new initiative by some of Sebastopol’s leading names, is trying its luck at the Barlow. Fern Bar is the brainchild of Lowell Sheldon and Natalie Goble, the duo behind Lowell’s and Handline; Sam Levy, former bar manager at St. Helena’s Meadowood; Joe Zobel, former chef at Lowell’s; and Gia Baiocchi, owner of the Barlow’s Nectary.

On the menu, alongside staple Sonoma bounty salads and familiar appetizers like chicken liver mousse, Zobel includes dishes with an Asian and Mexican flair, like sopaipillas, traditional Mexican pastry stuffed with rabbit and cotija cheese, or chive pancakes with black garlic vinegar. In the drinks section, similar influences present themselves in ingredients like Thai pepper shrub and tamarind.

The decor, courtesy of Todd McCrea of Fine Root and Brian Anderson of San Francisco’s Ken Fulk Inc., is textbook vintage—macramé, live plants and cozy leather booths. The menu might be elaborate enough for a dinner-and-drinks outing, but Fern Bar also hopes to hit the entertainment spot. Music programming is scheduled almost nightly, with jazz nights, guitar and piano performances and DJ sets. Dancing the night away in the Barlow, after a truly eclectic meal? This year, it might just become reality.—Flora Tsapovsky

Fern Bar, 6780 Depot St., Ste. 120. fernbar.com.

Happy Endings

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If you thought you could find harmony in a bottle, wouldn’t you pop that cork, just to see?

That’s what I did recently, not by drinking two or three bottles of wine, but by adding tiny amounts of concentrated, liquefied oak to that wine, one drop at a time. It’s made by companies such as BSG, OakWise and Laffort, who tout their products’ ability to soften mouthfeel and increase fruit aromatics in wine, even “recreate some of the characteristics of extended barrel storage, but in much less time.” I picked up a couple of samples offered by these companies at Wine Industry Network’s trade show at the Sonoma County Fairgrounds to set up my own taste test.

The conversation about wine and oak that we hear from wineries is mostly about French oak vs. American oak, or, rarely, about some particularly prized oak forest in France. It’s never about the wide range of products that they might use to tweak a wine. The very notion that there’s something in the wine besides the winemaker’s hands-off approach to its pure expression of terroir, after nothing more than patient barrel aging, is so unpopular, in fact, you might wonder if these businesses are struggling to stay afloat.

Uh, not really, according to Jillian Johnson DeLeon, who does sales and technical winemaking at Laffort USA. “People are using this from grocery store brands all the way up to 95 to 100 point wines.”

Johnson DeLeon also interacts with wine drinkers as winemaker at her own Onesta Wines. People are often surprised, she says, when she mentions her day job is at a wine products company. “Most people don’t know that there are any ingredients in wine besides grapes and yeast.” There are dozens of categories and hundreds of products approved for winemaking, with the catch that they aren’t supposed to significantly alter the character of the wine.

Following Johnson DeLeon’s mixing instructions, I add a few drops of powdered Laffort Quertanin Sweet in solution to a 100 milliliter pour of a 2018 Syrah-Zinfandel blend that I meant to be a fruity Beaujolais style for early drinking, but is a bit sharp on the tongue just now. Sure enough, the product masks the harshness of the new wine and provides a sensation of sweetness, without sugar.

“I always tell people, it can’t replace barrel aging or oak alternatives,” Johnson DeLeon says, “but it can fine-tune the flavors.”

Similarly, an OakWise offering called Finissage French Complex smoothed out the wine’s raw tang, and BSG’s Fruit Enhancer Plus did, indeed, “wake up” a slightly tired-tasting lot of Pinot Noir that I’d just about given up on drinking—and might have a slightly happier ending after all.

Familiar Farce

Theater companies love to produce theater about theater. 6th Street Playhouse gets in on the act with Ken Ludwig's 1995 door-slamming farce Moon Over Buffalo, running through Feb. 3. Buffalo, N.Y.'s Erlanger Theater is hosting the repertory company of George and Charlotte Hay (Dodds Delzell and Madeleine Ashe), grade-B actors and grade-A hams who never made it big onstage. Spending...

Make ’em Laugh

J‌on S. Baird's biopic Stan & Ollie has a certain inflationary quality, regarding the appeal of a comedy team in their sunset years. But in lovingly recreating Laurel and Hardy's mid-1950s tour of Britain, it's a film with lots of charm. The road is tough on two aging performers. It's bad when no one shows up at the music halls,...

Thou King o’ Grain!

Seems that I misjudged the gloom of a gray Friday morning as I set out on a bicycle trip to Sebastopol, because the light rain forecast for later that day begins before I'm halfway out of Santa Rosa. By the time I reach the door of Spirit Works Distillery, I'm drenched from a cold, steady rain. That's just as...

Eggistentially Speaking

“Sonoma County is ground zero for counter-Trump,” Sonoma State University political science Professor David McCuan proclaimed at the biannual “Blue-Green Eggs & Ham” post-election wrap-up that took place last Saturday at Santa Rosa’s Odd Fellows Hall. McCuan added, “We’re in the middle of a big shift that will literally change the face of the electorate and the whole political...

Flash and the Pan

Most of the time I spend in Sonoma is in my tattoo studio creating illustrations or bent over scribbling on someone's body. While I am leaving permanent tattoo marks on people, Sonoma has marked me in a number of ways, and after a dozen years living here, I think I'm qualified to give the inside story on secret, super-secret...

Border Myths

The nation is currently enduring a lengthy government shutdown because Congress won't give Donald Trump $5.7 billion for a border wall he said that Mexico would pay for. But the supposed border crisis that requires a new wall is based on Trump mythology—a series of "alternative facts" that he and his acolytes continuously put forth. Many of these are amplified...

Zen and the Art . . .

Ahead of me, on a single-lane street in town, a bicyclist was meandering along, seeming oblivious to me behind him. I sounded my horn, startling the young man back into present time. He pulled over to let me by. I stopped nearby and another young fellow stomped up to my car. I rolled the window down, and he yelled, "Did...

Letters to the Editor: January 16, 2019

Un-uncensored I would like to thank Gretchen Giles for mentioning in her Jan. 2 letter to the editor that I picketed your publication. Actually, I and members of my group, Men & Women for Gender Justice, protested for a full day in front of your office. The reason that I am thanking her is because her editor, Greg Cahill, censored...

Where the Fern Bar Grows

When it comes to food and drink, the Barlow in Sebastopol has had its ups and downs from its very inception. While Zazu remained a staple, other restaurants came and went. Now Fern Bar, a new initiative by some of Sebastopol's leading names, is trying its luck at the Barlow. Fern Bar is the brainchild of Lowell Sheldon and Natalie...

Happy Endings

If you thought you could find harmony in a bottle, wouldn't you pop that cork, just to see? That's what I did recently, not by drinking two or three bottles of wine, but by adding tiny amounts of concentrated, liquefied oak to that wine, one drop at a time. It's made by companies such as BSG, OakWise and Laffort, who...
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