Open Mic

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Book Case

By Becca Lawton

TODAY I’m pestering our school librarians with questions about the local front-page news. “It says here that parent volunteers aren’t allowed to offset staff cuts,” I point out. “Does that mean I’m no longer working here?”

“No,” answers veteran librarian Mrs. X. “Nothing’s changing with our established volunteers.”

“Right,” explains her colleague Ms. Z. “You’ve worked with us for years. You’re OK. The union’s just worried that new parent helpers will take over our classified duties when we’re not here.”

And they’re not here a lot these days.

Since budget cuts this fall, our school library is open half time. The other half, it sits locked up and unstaffed, the lights out on the thousands of books assembled lovingly by Mrs. X and Ms. Z in their decades of work here. I learned about the potential library shutdown last year from my fourth-grade daughter. We were headed home from her school, passing well-watered lawns in a development of million-dollar custom houses still in phased construction. “I don’t get it,” she said. “How can they close the library?”

“The school district feels it doesn’t have the money to keep it open.” We rounded the corner near an estate guarded by two black hounds and a half-mile of wrought-iron fencing. My daughter protested.

“But it’s our library! We made the money to fix it up.”

She was right. She and her schoolmates raised funds in an event called the Great Academic Brain Wave, which, along with money earned at school book fairs, paid to expand and remodel the library. When it reopened in its new glory, the children learned firsthand what hard work can achieve.

“It’s not fair,” she concluded. I agreed. Lifting up mine eyes to the hills from whence cometh my help, I spied sunlight glinting off the picture window of a distant trophy home. The library situation is up for analysis, along with other “enhancement programs” cut recently in our school district. This alone tells me they don’t get it. We don’t see our books as enhancements–they and the librarians are fundamental to our children’s success.

So here’s to the district reopening full library access, preferably in the lifetimes of the kids who supported library renewal. If not, then we need to tap other resources. I guess it’s lucky I’m grandfathered in, because I’ll give up helping the enhancement programs when you pry my cold, dead fingers off their bindings.

Becca Lawton is a Sonoma County writer whose short stories and essays have appeared in a number of enhancements, er, books.

From the November 16-22, 2000 issue of the Northern California Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Microchip Implants

Digital Angel

Put that micro chip where the sun don’t shine

By Katharine Mieszkowski

WORRY NO MORE, doting parents! Whether it’s your little pumpkin’s first day walking home from school by herself or the millionth time you’ve lost her at the mall, the Babysitter will track your sweetpea’s location from a jelly bean­sized microchip implant, discreetly tucked under her collarbone. You’ll be able to chart her every move. What better way to give her independence and put your mind at ease?

Also available: The Constant Companion lets you keep a watchful eye on grandma or grandpa, even when you can’t be by their side; the Invisible Bodyguard offers freedom from fear so you can enjoy the fauna and foliage when ecotourism takes you to kidnapping hot spots around the globe. Coming soon: the INS Border Patroller; the Maximum Security Guard; the Personal Private Eye; the Micro-Manager.

Alas, this is not as far-fetched or as futuristic as it sounds. The whoa-dude notion of surveillance chips being installed in human beings is poised to cross over from the realm of science fiction into everyday reality, and soon. One technology with the deliciously sci-fi name of “Digital Angel,” a prototype of which has just been unveiled, could be implanted under the skin and used to monitor not only the chip-wearer’s location, but vital signs like heart rate and body temperature. Other devices, worn externally like bracelets or pagers, are already in use and invite us to embrace electronic monitoring in specific environments–like a theme park, college campus, or construction site–for our fun, health, or safety.

What’s disturbing is just how quickly these devices, which only recently would have been laughed off as a cyborg fantasy, are becoming accepted. Amazingly, it was but two years ago that a British cybernetics professor pulled what then seemed like a futuristic stunt: temporarily installing electronics in his arm to control his computer remotely.

Now having a personal chip is becoming, well, not quite the norm but a ready possibility. Kevin Warwick, the cybernetics prof, says, “As the topic becomes more accessible in the media, people get used to the idea; it’s not such a frightening thing. . . . If it’s not there this year, it’s only a year or two downstream.” A Japanese firm is already testing chips to track lost relatives. And the New York Times, in a nod to what its editors imagine the future might hold now that the human genome project is complete, asked several designers to suggest how we might carry around a chip encoded with our unique genetic sequence “for perfect identification in matters medical, official, criminal or otherwise.” Some of the possibilities portrayed in the July 9 Sunday magazine: a “decoder” ring, an implant in the human iris to be read with a retinal scanner, even an oval-shaped “genegg” for the belly button.

WITH commercial interests hard at work to spread the gospel of human tracking and monitoring–voluntarily, and for our own good, of course–and others normalizing chip implantation, it might not be too soon to start preparing for a whole new silicon craze. Excuse me, but is that a chip in your ass?

Global Positioning Satellite, or GPS, technology already exists to track us wherever we might care to go–the problem is keeping the sensor up and running, giving off signals all the time from inside of our bodies.

Thus far, the biggest technological challenge is energy; a tracking chip needs a power source. Think how annoying it would be to have to plug your arm into the wall to recharge yourself like a pesky cellphone; besides, it would make it nearly impossible to thwart kidnappers or retrieve lost kiddies if rescuers didn’t find the missing before the charge died. There’s also the vexing dilemma of getting the chip and its power source small enough for comfort and aesthetics. Who wants an unsightly chip bulge?

Chris Hables Gray, an associate professor of computer science and the cultural study of science and technology at the University of Great Falls in Montana, says that researchers have been working to find just such a small, self-generating power source by tapping everything from body heat to the electrical pulses in the muscles. There’s even been talk of putting teensy-weensy nanotechnology machines to work as miniature waterwheels in the bloodstream so the heart itself could be the power source. The heart running your chip: it’s practically poetic.

But now one company claims that it has cracked this power-source conundrum and that it has a patent on the solution, although executives won’t yet reveal the technical details of how it actually works. Applied Digital Solutions didn’t invent it, but purchased the patent for a “personal tracking and recovery system,” which the company has dubbed Digital Angel.

According to CEO Richard Sullivan, Digital Angel combines GPS wireless communications with biosensors, powered by body heat in the form of a dime-sized chip, which can be embedded in a watch, bracelet, or medallion, even under your flesh–should the FDA approve such an invasive thing.

“It’s like a live radio signal all the time,” Sullivan says. He sees a $100 billion potential market for the technology, which is still under development with help from researchers at Princeton University and the New Jersey Institute of Technology. The company held a gala in New York last month to show off the prototype and try to drum up investment to finance actual products.

And the potential applications, should the thing actually work as the company claims it does? Just use your imagination, folks. Sullivan envisions kiddies having their own Digital Angels watching over them in case of a snatching. Or caretakers installing them in patients with Alzheimer’s disease to prevent the old folks from wandering off. And just wait until the military gets a load of this–one in every soldier to track not only his whereabouts, but his very mortality, in real time.

The same would go for employees in extremely hazardous workplaces, such as nuclear power plants.

Come to think of it, a medallion worn around the neck and powered by your very own body heat doesn’t seem any more invasive than some of the things that companies already do to their employees, so why not a chip in every last cube? Better still, dispense with those pesky keycards to get in and out of the office and just have the whole thing implanted in your left butt cheek.

IF YOU’RE not already wondering how you and your loved ones made it this far without a single chip implant, just consider all the medical applications. Picture a system that would constantly monitor a heart disease sufferer’s pulse rate or a diabetes patient’s sugar levels and notify medical help when things were looking dangerous. We accept pacemakers as a necessary and important technology to extend and enhance the quality of lives. How is this any different?

Sullivan brushes off concerns about privacy by promising that the chip-wearer will be able to control when he or she is, uh, switched on or off, although he won’t yet say how exactly that will work. The Digital Angel Web site puts it bluntly: “The unit can be turned off by the wearer, thereby making the monitoring voluntary. It will not intrude on personal privacy except in applications applied to the tracking of criminals.”

Maybe so, but the potential for abuse is so ludicrously high that it’s almost impossible to overstate. You can just see the Michael Douglas­ Sharon Stone Hollywood version, where the jealous husband gives an opulent anniversary watch with the chip inside it to his cheating wife so he can obsessively monitor her movements, her body temperature, the very acceleration of the pounding of her heart . . . until she figures it out and puts the chip to work–against him.

To makers of tracking technologies, these Big Brother worst-case scenarios sound like the same griping that has met all sorts of other advancements we now blithely accept, like Social Security numbers, credit cards that catalog our every purchase, and even e-mail.

“We believe that the benefits of the technology to a parent looking for a child at a theme park or a student feeling safe walking across campus far outweigh some of those concerns,” says Tom Turner, senior vice president of marketing and business development for a company called WhereNet, which makes a technology that can be used to find people or objects in a specific local environment. “It’s an individual choice.”

So far, WhereNet has licensed its technology to companies that make bracelets worn on the wrist or pagerlike devices carried in a pocket or purse. It’s in use at a water park in Denver and on the campuses of the University of South Florida in Tampa and the University of South Alabama in Mobile. Turner sees a future for such gadgets on cruise ships, in gated communities, and at shopping malls.

Brendan Fitzgerald, the president of Microgistics, which makes WalkMate, the device used by college students to alert campus police if they’re in danger, also thinks the benefits are greater than the risks.

“If you were working in a hazardous industrial environment, you would want to know that you could push a button and have someone help you if you need help. ‘I fell into the vat of boiling acid!’ ” Safety first is a logic that’s hard to argue with, even when it starts to veer from help when you need it to totally transparent surveillance when you’re at work.

AND, LIKE almost everyone else I talked to in this field, Applied Digital Systems’ Sullivan dismisses nagging doubts about what it means to literally wire ourselves up. “By our own nature, we tend to avoid things we know the least about and gravitate toward those that we do know. Some of the things that have made the most positive contributions to our lives are the things that there are the most concern about. Like any technology, it’s really in the hands of the user,” he says. Translation: It’s Galileo vs. the church all over again.

OK, Dr. Jekyll, you’ve convinced me. I’m ready for my implant. Let me be the first to sign up for my very own chip body modification. What list do I put my name on? In fact, I want my chip secured on the outside of my skin where I can show it off to everyone as a sign of just how wired I’ve become–surely it will be the next big thing filling the void left by the waning trendiness of tattoos, piercing, scarification: chipification.

However fashionable or discreet tracking devices might become, not everyone is titillated by the possibilities. “I think most people would be repulsed by the idea. This is just a sort of modern version of tattooing people, something that for obvious reasons–the Nazis tattooed numbers on people–no one proposes,” says Bob Gellman, a Washington privacy consultant. “You can do anything you want voluntarily. You can tattoo a bar code on your forehead if you want.”

But the real question, as he sees it, is who will be able to demand that a chip be implanted in another person–a parent in a child; a prison in an inmate; the INS in an undocumented illegal alien found in the country; an employer in an employee as a condition of being hired?

“I’m sure there’s a strong argument that implanting a chip in a person is unconstitutional. It would be cruel and unusual punishment,” Gellman says.

And for now the legal and social questions of who could turn such a chip on or off and who would have access to the information generated by such a chip is “a totally unexplored area,” he says, adding: “And probably one better off left unexplored.”

Others see the chipification of humans as all but inevitable. Chris Hables Gray, professor, self-proclaimed “cyborgologist,” and author of the forthcoming book Cyborg Citizen, says that it really doesn’t matter whether or not the Digital Angel flies. “If this company doesn’t do it, someone else will,” he says. And watch out when they do.

“They will start implanting them in prisoners, parolees, child abusers, sex offenders, and drunk drivers,” he predicts. Gray says that it’s been a military project for some 20 years to find a way to track every soldier on the battlefield. Remember when Oklahoma City bomber Timothy McVeigh complained about having been a part of a Gulf War experiment that implanted a chip in his butt?

“McVeigh kept saying that he was being controlled by a chip in his ass,” says Gray.

The cyborgologist isn’t saying he believes the bomber, of course, but cites circumstantial evidence that the military may have been experimenting with such tracking devices, and “if the military starts to say we will put these chips into every Marine’s ass, they have no protection from that.”

NO MATTER how creepy we find the prospect of such a technology, we can’t stop its creation–nor would we necessarily want to. “Technology is continually trumping the constitutional guarantees that we have,” says Gray.

He’d like to see protections against the misuse of such chips as they become commercially available: “Citizens could ask for a law that made it a crime to put these into a person without their permission, and to forbid, under any conditions, the government to put these into prisoners, parolees, illegal aliens, soldiers, citizens.”

He’s even proposed–“only half joking”–a “Cyborg Bill of Rights” to help ensure that “new technologies are chosen democratically, and we do not have to accept every new technology that invades our freedoms.”

From the November 16-22, 2000 issue of the Northern California Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Chris Strachwitz

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For the Record

CD box set spotlights Arhoolie label chief

By Greg Cahill

HE CALLS them audio snapshots. Over a 40-year stretch, beginning in 1960, East Bay producer, label chief, and record store owner Chris Strachwitz has amassed an amazing collection of roots recordings–vibrant sonic portraits of America’s diverse musical culture, all teeming with the rhythmic jolt of juke joints, dance halls, and backyard barbecues.

Country blues (“unadulterated, authentic, and low-down”), Cajun, zydeco, Native American “chicken scratch,” and hard-driving gospel stand side by side with regional Mexican acts, polka bands, and New Orleans brass bands. Together, these infectiously appealing recordings also serve as signposts of a most amazing journey.

The recently released five-CD box set Arhoolie Records 40th Anniversary Collection: 1960-2000, The Journey of Chris Strachwitz maps out that legacy in what Strachwitz himself calls “raw, rootsy, and unpolished” fashion.

As the founder of Arhoolie Records and proprietor of Down Home Music in El Cerrito, Strachwitz is a familiar figure to Bay Area roots music enthusiasts. But he also is one of the most important influences in modern American music in the same league with musicologist and archivist Alan Lomax and documentary filmmaker Robert Mugge. As writer Elijah Wald underscores in the liner notes, Strachwitz is largely responsible for the regional revivals of Cajun and zydeco music, spreading the word about and helping to gain international recognition for Clifton Chenier, BeauSoleil, the Savoy-Doucet Band, and other giants of Louisiana music. In the same vein, Strachwitz spurred wider interest in Tex-Mex music by recording accordionist Flaco Jimenez and other purveyors of border music. His recordings of blues guitar greats Mance Lipscomb and Lightin’ Hopkins still are revered in blues circles.

Most recently, Strachwitz has issued a series of critically acclaimed steel-guitar gospel CDs.

A POLISH immigrant–his family fled the advancing Russian Army after World War II–Strachwitz grew up on a small farm outside of Reno, Nev., where he was quickly drawn to the hillbilly music beaming from radio station XERB in Baja California. A skinny kid with bad English and few friends, Strachwitz turned to music for solace. “I was longing for something that spoke to me,” he has recalled, “and I was listening to the radio and heard this amazing stuff.”

In 1960, Strachwitz was working as a German teacher at Los Gatos High School when he released the first Arhoolie album–a collection of songs performed by bluesman Lipscomb, a Texas sharecropper. The first pressing of 250 albums was stuffed inside of cardboard jackets and assembled on the kitchen table of Strachwitz’s home. The Arhoolie name was suggested by Texas folklorist, historian, and playwright Mack McCormick, supposedly referring to a style of field holler sung by black farmworkers. Soon Strachwitz–a “manic” collector of records–had transformed a simple love of blues and jazz into a legacy of American vernacular music.

Over the years, he has largely ignored commercial trends, compiling “audio snapshots” of what was rapidly becoming an outsider’s music in an increasingly homogenized society.

The result is a peerless scrapbook of roots music.

From the November 16-22, 2000 issue of the Northern California Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

‘Rififi’

Rumble in Paris

Classic ‘Rififi’ returns with style to burn

By

DEPENDING on whom you ask, the title means either “rumble” or “trouble” in the French argot. Indeed, the 1955 film Rififi was in trouble. The most readily available prints were haphazardly subtitled, with by-now archaic British slang translating the pungent French dialogue. Even if you could read the subtitles–no easy task against the white background–you’d be confused by curious words like “busies” for cops or “charlies” for breasts.

But in a new print and newly written subtitles, a viewer in the year 2000 can just coast along for one smooth ride.

Rififi is a film vastly cooler than the recent Croupier. It concerns a pack of old-school gangsters cracking into a jewelry store in the Rue de la Paix in Paris. The burglary is engineered by a revered but played-out career criminal named Tony Le Stephanois, played by Jean Servais. Le Stephanois is freshly out of jail, out of money, and out of time–he’s got an ominous cough that isn’t soothed by his chain-smoking.

His young friend Jo (Carl Mohner), who owes him a debt, tips Le Stephanois to the possibilities contained within Mappin et Webb’s jewelry store. The original plan is for a smash-and-grab robbery, but the elder criminal has his eyes on a bigger prize and recruits a team for the all-night burglary.

Rififi’s director, Jules Dassin, was an involuntary American expatriate, previously best known for the original version of Night and the City. Dassin was a blacklisted Communist who had come to make movies in France.

There’s social commentary in Rififi, if you’re looking. Only a man who believed in the dignity of labor could have brought such affection to watching the hard work of the thieves. The famous, much-imitated robbery in Rififi has the gang as intent as surgeons. These 25 silent minutes of precision safecracking wring tension out of the closeups on the tools and the methods. It’s like This Old House gone rogue.

Dassin, using the pseudonym Perlo Vita, plays Cesar, the well-dressed Milanese member of the gang. Since he’s a foreigner, Cesar doesn’t say much. You can see why Dassin picked the part–he’s suggested that his reason for making the safecracking scene mute was because of his imperfect French.

Rififi is a Paris-fancier’s delight. The scenes of Montmartre at night are invigoratingly sordid, as are the misty hungover-looking dawns. Dassin also brings economy to the smaller, subtler scenes, such as a child horsing around with his lounging godfather at the start of the film.

When you see this neglected film-noir classic, you understand why it was so popular; the loyal but ruthless gang with their cigs and fedoras are part of a film with style to burn. Here are the roots for everything from Reservoir Dogs to Shoot the Piano Player.

Rififi was more than just a crime film. It was a kind of genre–at least eight films were made with “rififi” in the title, none of which were sequels. Moreover, Servais’ last film was titled They Came to Rob Las Vegas; you can suppose what impact Rififi had on his career. Servais proved that there’s no one as disillusioned as a good-looking juvenile actor who grows up and gets knocked around by life.

In Rififi, Servais is a beautiful loser as battered as Bogart. Yet Servais’ only other name part was as the voice of de Maupassant in Max Ophuls’ film Le Plaisir. It’s Servais who pronounces that film’s epigram, “Happiness, it isn’t a picnic.” The arch-cynic author was natural casting for someone whose dry voice had more than once pronounced doom on a squealer.

‘Rififi’ opens Friday, Nov. 17, at the Rafael Theater, 1118 Fourth St., San Rafael. For details, see Movie Times, page 34, or call 415/454-1222.

From the November 16-22, 2000 issue of the Northern California Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Newsgrinder

Important events as reported by daily newspapers and summarized by Daedalus Howell.

Saturday 11.11.00

Joy-rider Tyrone Bradish revealed he ain’t as smart as the whip that’s now whuppin’ his ass after getting popped for stealing a Chrysler PT Cruiser from a Santa Rosa car dealership and trying to return the car when he realized it was running on fumes, reports the local daily. Taxpayers can rest assured they’re getting the best police work their money can buy: “We eventually caught him because he ran out of gas,” admits Santa Rosa Police Sgt. Tony Wynne. At one point, the 22-year-old Bradish led police on a high-speed chase through downtown Petaluma, where the local fuzz, apparently inspired by the Cannonball Run movies, threw spike strips on the road to pop Bradish’s tires. A Santa Rosa police car and three sheriff’s cars ran over them instead. Bradish also rammed a police car. So where were the car-lot security guards? Who left the keys in the car? Lot manager Tareq Huq demands answers. “There is somebody who will be in this office on Monday being talked to,” he said. “Talked to, if not discharged.” Give ’em hell, Huq!

Saturday 11.11.00

Mental health and education professionals gathered at the second annual Conference on Boys (hosted by Sonoma State University) to mull over the question: What’s on boys’ minds? Well, duh. The answer is probably between the pages of those magazines beneath their beds, on those videos in their bottom drawers, and through the keyholes of their sisters’ bedroom doors. Discussions at the conference centered on boys and sex, sex and boys, sex, boys, sexy boys, and boyish sex. “This last 30 years of all women’s action and women’s movement has been powerful for girls, and that’s a good thing,” conference director Duncan MacInnes said to the local daily. “Now, what I want to do is bring boys to the level of girls.” Gender crusader Joe Manthey, please report to the white courtesy telephone. . . . Dr. Lawrence Diller, author of Running on Ritalin, delivered the keynote address (Ritalin is a stimulant used to treat the attention deficit disorders of 3.2 million boys annually–though patients often resell the junk at school for quick cash, I kid you not). “It’s not that Ritalin doesn’t work,” says Diller (cuz oh, baby, it does), “But I don’t see it as a moral equivalent to better parents and better schools.” Or better speed.

Sunday 11.12.00

Apparently someone doth protest too much for two gentlemen of Marin. Former chairman of that county’s Republican Party, Ed McGill, gets the blue ribbon for his hateful hyperbolic summation of the League of Women Voters’ Campaign Watch committee as “Stalinist strumpets” and “thugs of the Spanish Inquisition.” In an unrelated matter, the Marin Independent Journal reports that female Pat Zuch has filed a complaint against Sausalito Vice Mayor J. R. Roberts for spitting on her and cursing her during a confrontation. “I think what Pat Zuch is doing here is trying to make some political hay out of a private dispute,” said Arthur Wachtel, Roberts’ attorney, who did not comment if his client spat or swallowed in the past. “It is unfortunate that she and her associates have decided to revive this again and to raise it in the media.” Hey, that’s our bread and lung-butter, pal.

Monday 11.13.00

A 12-foot-deep 9,000-ton heap of “biosolids,” piled at the site of Santa Rosa’s West College Avenue sewage treatment plant since it was dismantled eight years ago, might finally get the heave-ho–that is, if the City Council springs for the nearly $800,000 pooper-scooper fee, reports the local daily. Santa Rosa environmental compliance officer Dean Paige describes the 18 million pounds of sewage pond residue as “former biologically objectionable material” (which translates to “huge pile of shit”). And hey, kids, it’s full of lead! Paige is unsure if the lead has seeped into groundwater and contaminated private wells in the area–water supplies that are already contaminated by solvents from a nearby former dry-cleaning business. No word if the city will go through with a proposal to truck in water from local kiddie pools to aid the beleaguered residents.

Tuesday 11.14.00

From the people that brought you Banana Republic and the Republic of Tea comes ZoZa–a retail concept made especially for the Republic of Mill Valley. A cheapie redux of ye olde economy brick-and-mortar clothes store with an Internet spin, local founders Mel and Patricia Ziegler have opened what they call a “walk-in website” for their new line of fashions made of washable, high-tech synthetic fabrics. (Dude, if you’re going to make a walk-in website, how ’bout one where the clothes are, like, off?) Customers can touch and try on clothing samples at the ZoZa store but make their purchases online, for there are no racks, cash registers, or mannequins. Fitting rooms are portable cardboard cylinders near a mirrored wall. The Zieglers don’t want to “throw money away” in rent and advertising. They just want you to throw your money away on fruity space clothes! “We think our customers, particularly in Marin County, are smarter,” says Mel Ziegler. Nudge, nudge. Wink, wink.

From the November 16-22, 2000 issue of the Northern California Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

The Wide-Eyed Gourmet

The cool of culinary artistry

By Marina Wolf

WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE between a professional chef and a home cook? One hand tossing. How’s that for a culinary koan? I used to think the answer was somewhere in the total dedication to one’s craft, the finely honed palate, the even more finely honed knives, the $20,000 culinary school education. It’s all these and one thing more: total nonchalance.

I realized this the other day while I was trapped against a giant stovetop watching a chef make a seafood stew. He reached into the containers of fish chunks and clams and pulled out exactly the right amounts. He tossed the contents of the pan in a practiced, one-handed shake, and splashed it all with wine, not even looking. His hands and arms were loose and relaxed, even while he carried on two simultaneous conversations and mugged

for a photographer. Joe Cool at the cooktop, and the whole thing took five minutes max.

Contrast this to my own recipe for seafood stew:

Find cookbook: 5 mins. Mince garlic: 2 mins. Mince garlic again (it’s not fine enough): 2 mins. Debone fish with fingernails: 7 mins. Saw fish into pieces with dull knife: 3 mins. Scrape burned pieces of garlic off bottom of pan and start over: 8 mins. Put shellfish in pan, consult cookbook: 2 mins. Poke and prod: 4 mins. Consult cookbook: 2 mins.

You get the picture. More than a half an hour has passed, and I haven’t even gotten to the tomato products yet.

The importance of support staff cannot be underestimated. What I saw in action in the professional kitchen was the result of several layers of kitchen help doing all kinds of distasteful things to stinky food products, just to get them ready for a fine dining experience. Someone scrubbed those mussels, chopped those shallots, stirred the flavorful fish stock from time to time at the back of the stove. Some poor sap will scrub the floor when dinner is done, mopping up whatever spillage or splatter the chef may have overlooked or even incorporated as part of the flair that impressed me so much. A chef does not worry about running out of pans or not having enough minced garlic; somebody else is taking care of those things.

But professional performance goes beyond mere prep work, into some kind of ultra-laid-back Zone, made possible by repetition. If you’re grabbing handfuls of fish every day for years, as the young chef had, you’ll know the difference between 3.5 and 4 ounces of cod chunks, or some angry head-cook will feed you your own hat and then show you the difference. As a result, professional chefs trust themselves, in a way that doesn’t involve any affirmations or internal pep-talks. They can rely on the body to do what needs to be done.

For most home cooks like myself, self-trust comes hard, if at all. Take that seafood soup, which I’ve made several times and it always turns out wonderfully. Logically I know that a lack of clams is not going to adversely affect the outcome, and that a little extra oil in the pan won’t ruin the whole thing. And yet I forget these things. I don’t trust my timid muscle and sense memory to know when the fish is just done, or to remember that the garlic will soften and melt into the stew, so it doesn’t need to be a paste. I cling to the cookbook, hunch over it obsessively, and second-guess myself at every turn.

A chef doesn’t have time for that. A chef goes with the flow, one hand tossing, and trusts that the flavor will follow.

From the November 16-22, 2000 issue of the Northern California Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

The No Spray Movement

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Spray Not

Vine pest control may threaten organic farms

By Shepherd Bliss

THE GROWING No Spray movement considers the Nov. 7 approval of forced pesticide spraying to control the glassy-winged sharpshooter by the Sonoma County Board of Supervisors to be a declaration of war. Though the target is a tiny insect that can damage grapevines, blanket spraying would harm all insects, many animals, organic gardens and farms, and public health.

Activists among the 300 people attending the daytime four-hour Election Day supervisors’ meeting were outraged by the 5-0 decision and pledged resistance. “This matter will be decided in the streets and at people’s homes,” asserted Sonoma Valley homeowner Will Shonbrun. Civil disobedience, hunger strikes in jail, blocking roads to their homes, and shutting down Highway 101 were mentioned as possible tactics. “We can do far more damage to the wine industry’s public image than this tiny insect can do to the vines,” one west county organic orchardist commented.

When I first heard about the possibility of forced spraying, I did not think that anyone who believes in civil rights and private property would ever approve coming on my organic farm without my permission and spraying poison, thus destroying my livelihood and threatening my health. I have spent years working hard on my soil and attracting beneficial insects. Dozens of friends and customers have volunteered to come to my farm to help me defend it if the government attempts an assault by deadly weapons–toxic pesticides. We will make our stand here, as French villagers have against Mondavi’s corporate/industrial intrusion on their traditional ways of making wine and as French farmer Jose Bove has against McDonald’s.

Good agricultural practices, like bio-pest management, are the only solution to such problems, rather than the attempted quick fix of bombarding an area with poison. Organic grapegrower Michael Topolos of Topolos Vineyards in Forestville commented, “I welcome the sharpshooter; my beneficial insects are hungry.”

Over 60 citizens testified against forced pesticide spraying at the Nov. 7 meeting. Half a dozen grapegrowers spoke for the workplan authorizing forced entry of people’s yards and private properties against their will. Despite overwhelming opposition, the supes approved the workplan, which No Sprayers call a “battleplan,” designed to protect vineyards at any cost.

Mothers with infants in their arms, cancer and asthma survivors, physicians, organic farmers and gardeners, victims of pesticide poisoning, scientists, and elected officials testified against the vague workplan. Sonoma Mayor Larry Barnett and Sebastopol City Councilmember Larry Robinson joined representatives of the Town Hall Coalition, the Mendocino Environmental Center, and Earth First! A petition with more than 4,000 signatures against pesticides was presented by West County Californians for Alternatives to Toxics, and the No Spray Action Network presented another petition with 1,300 signatures against forced spraying.

Sierra Club leader Lucy Kenyon testified, “This ’emergency’ is not a public health crisis, but it could become one with the widespread application of toxic pesticides. Your plan does nothing to address the special needs of people with illnesses that would be aggravated by pesticides.”

The nerve toxin carbaryl has been used elsewhere against the sharpshooter and is the most likely insecticide to be employed here. It causes cancer in animals and is listed as a possible human carcinogen. Carbaryl is a pesticide that poses great risk to public health. It is particularly hazardous to infants and children, the elderly, people on chemotherapy or with a compromised immune system, and pets, birds, honeybees, and other beneficial insects. It can cause nausea, stomach cramps, diarrhea, blurred vision, muscle paralysis, and convulsions.

California Certified Organic Farmers spokesperson Diane Cooner criticized “the mandatory treatment of organic farms” and “the mandatory exposure of people to synthetic pesticides against their free will. Wholesale application of broad-spectrum pesticides to control pests is not successful.”

Bugs adapt, become resistant, and evolve into super-bugs.

CCOF supports alternatives to pesticides, “A pest such as the glassy-winged sharpshooter can only be controlled with the use of a wide range of enviromentally sound practices that provide for a diversity of predatory insects, diverse cropping patterns, habitat diversity, physical controls, disease-resistant varieties, and naturally derived least-risk toxic pest control methods.”

Meanwhile, Napa County supervisors have been more responsive to public outrage. Napa citizens helped write their county’s plan and on Nov. 7 were able to further delay a decision in order to allow for more input. Whereas Sonoma County’s 30-page plan is vague and lacks adequate detail, the more comprehensive Napa plan is already 150 pages long.

The Napa Sierra Club’s Chris Malan says, “The Sierra Club opposes all spraying for the sharpshooter, both by ground and by air.” The Friends of the Napa River also notes that any plan must include “pesticide buffer zones along riparian corridors to protect our water and aquatic life from contamination.”

Though the Sonoma County counsel asserts that the workplan is not subject to the California Environmental Quality Act, Napa citizens have hired an attorney to argue that all sharpshooter workplans are subject to CEQA. Under CEQA’s environmental protection, blanket forced spraying–which would harm wildlife and water quality–would be illegal.

Many specific objections to Sonoma County’s workplan have been raised. For example, the agricultural commissioner has already taken down the sharpshooter traps for this year, since the insect will not arrive until spring, at the earliest. So why rush through a workplan from an ad hoc committee that had no public input? Letters attached to the plan came only from pro-spray, chemical-industry-funded University of California scientists, and the wine industry. Excluded from the workplan were any of the many letters against forced spraying, including those from organic grapegrowers like Michael Topolos.

Opponents of the workplan are particularly disturbed that the state can declare an agricultural emergency and suspend people’s civil rights. Ag Commisioner John Westoby can determine that an “immediate hazard” exists and spray a person’s yard without notification or the opportunity to appeal. Someone could come home from work and find his/her organic garden and pets sprayed with highly toxic nerve poisons and have no legal recourse.

On Nov. 7, several speakers expressed “no confidence” in Westoby. “We need someone who won’t sacrifice our health for the wine industry,” declared Tara Treasurefield of the Town Hall Coalition. The approved workplan describes an “infestation” as only five insects found within a 300-foot radius within five days. Rural resident Dwight Sims wants citizens to be given the option to eliminate the insects themselves, before the government rushes in with chemicals.

Ag commissioners in the neighboring counties of Mendocino, Napa, and Marin all seem more responsive to the concerns of citizens. Toxicologist Marc Lappé, former head of the state Hazards Assessment Program, has written, “Nobody’s going to die from the sharpshooter, but somebody may die, particularly the most vulnerable, if exposed to pesticides. Pierce’s disease is not an emergency health situation. It’s an emergency dollar situation.”

From the November 16-22, 2000 issue of the Northern California Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Holiday Calendar

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Making Merry

Deck the halls, light the menorah, and strike up the mariachi band as we present our selective guide to this season’s celebrations in the North Bay

By Paula Harris

FACE IT ONCE AND FOR ALL. There’s really no point in equating Yuletide with suicide. You may do your damnedest to ignore it, but the dizzying, manic, sheer-out-of-control holiday season is waiting just around the twinkly lighted corner to getcha once again. But hold on to your reindeer–the path to holiday bliss need not rely solely on eggnog and Advil. Take time out to experience some of the sights and sounds of holiday arts happening around the area. Take a holiday outing or two and make a seasonal memory that will warmly linger on till this time next year (or, who knows, maybe even beyond!). Below are some suggestions for the biggest, baddest, bawdiest–and just plain best–holiday events in the North Bay.

Parties & Gatherings

Holiday Victorian Tea Flex those pinkies. Got a hankering for buttery scones, dainty sandwiches, and steamy leafy brew in china cups? The Woman’s Club of Petaluma will be transformed into an elegant setting for a genuine high tea, with costumed servers and much more as the Museum Association sponsors this annual delectable holiday tradition. Tea will be served at three seatings on Dec. 3, at 1, 3, and 5 p.m. 518 B St., Petaluma. $25. 707/778-4398.

Bob Burke’s Christmas Party Forestville’s Bob Burke continues to teach us all a bit about the spirit of human kindness. He’s founder of a 27-year-old program that offers free year-round support groups and fun events for children with cancer and other serious illnesses in Sonoma County. Revenues for the program come from donations made during events such as Burke’s annual Christmas Party. This year’s party, hosted by the Gonnella Family, will be held at the Union Hotel Restaurant in Occidental and will feature a spaghetti plate supper, Christmas music from local schools, and appearances by surprise guests. Dec. 6, 5 to 9 p.m. Free, but donations appreciated. 707/887-2222.

Bird Count Dinner Here’s a new slant on the holiday bird. It’s the annual Point Reyes Christmas Bird Count Dinner–a definitive census of the status, trends, and distribution of the 200-plus species wintering in the Point Reyes area. At this compilation dinner participants will tally the species seen and generally enjoy the bird highlight of the season. Dec. 16 at 5 p.m. Dance Palace, Fifth and B streets, Point Reyes Station. Call to register for the dinner. No charge to just attend. 415/663-1075.

Santa Sightings

Downtown Santa Parade It’s wild. It’s wonderful. And it’s got everything from stunt skaters to costumed dogs. Santa Rosa’s 17th annual Downtown Santa Parade is always a don’t-miss spectacle of creative whimsy. This year, the course will be even longer to include Fifth Street. Starting at 10 a.m. on Nov. 18, at Fourth and E streets, the parade will proceed west on Fourth to B Street and then east on Fifth Street across Mendocino Avenue, and on to Courthouse Square, where a full day of activities, including a Community Tree Lighting Ceremony, is planned. 707/284-2300.

Parade of Lights Carols, candles–and 100,000 pounds of real snow for sledding are the high points of downtown San Rafael’s Parade of Lights. On Nov. 24, snow sledding from noon to 4 p.m. will be followed by a visit from Santa at 5:30–then more sledding from 6:30 to 8 p.m. And then there’ll be more sledding on Nov. 25 from 9 a.m. to 2 p.m. Downtown San Rafael. Free. 415/457-2266.

Santa & Mrs. Claus in Petaluma Christmas’ most popular couple take full advantage of Petaluma’s river access. The Jolly Man and his Missus give old Rudolph and his buddies a break and come to Petaluma via water. This year, they’ll arrive on the deck of their usual all-decked-out tugboat at high noon on Nov. 25. After coming ashore at the Turning Basin at 1 p.m., the happy couple will take a ride through downtown Petaluma aboard an antique horse-drawn sleigh joined by a parade of other antique horse-drawn vehicles. 707/769-0429.

Holiday Parade Santa will be on hand for some chats and photo ops during the Napa Holiday Parade. Watch the floats or march along. This year’s theme is Season of Joy. Nov. 25 at 11 a.m. in downtown Napa. 707/257-0322.

Pioneer Christmas What could be bawdier than popcorn stringing and candle dipping? Get into the Wild West spirit and step back in time at a Pioneer Christmas at the Old Bale Mill. String cranberries, trim the tree, decorate gingerbread cookies, and warble old-fashioned Christmas carols to the accompaniment of mandolin and fiddle. Bring the whole family for a stroll through the 1850s. Dec. 9, 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. Bale Grist Mill State Historic Park, located halfway between St. Helena and Calistoga on Hwy. 29. $5 for adults, $2 for children. 707/942-5707.

Give Santa a Call If you can’t get within knee’s distance of the big guy in person, at least you can call him on your cell phone. One thing about that Santa Claus: he sure knows how to listen. He’s even made himself available for a little long-distance yakking on Dec. 5­ 6, 6 to 8 p.m. On those nights only, the North Pole can be reached by calling 707/763-6051.

Santa’s Castle Join Christmas characters from Santa’s workshop plus toy soldiers, holiday jugglers, and balloon artists. Dec. 16, 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. Vintage 1870, 6525 Washington St., Yountville. 707/944-2451.

Holiday Crafts

‘Tis the Season for Crafts Do your seasonal bit to protect the Russian River from pollution. The Russian River Watershed Protection Committee sponsors the 19th annual Christmas Crafts Fair on two weekends, with a myriad of crafts and homemade gifts, plus live music by guitarist Keith Richman and jazz combo Gary Digman and friends. Nov. 11-12 and 24-26, noon to 4 p.m. Santa Rosa Veterans Auditorium, 1351 Maple Ave., Santa Rosa. Proceeds benefit the RRWPC. $1.50 for general admission; children under 12 get in free. 707/896-0054.

Holiday Fair Sick of shopping frenzy at the malls? The 28th annual Gifts ‘n’ Tyme holiday fair in Napa has 82 booths crammed with arts and crafts that will make great gifts. Find everything from wind chimes and stained glass to baked goods and sweatshirts. Food will be available. Nov. 17-19. Friday, 11 a.m. to 8 p.m.; Saturday, 11 a.m. to 6 p.m.; Sunday 11 a.m. to 5 p.m. Napa Valley Exposition, Chardonnay Hall, 575 Third St. ,Napa. Free. 707/255-0902.

More Crafts The 24th annual Spirit of Christmas Crafts Faire is the largest holiday gift show in the North Bay, with handmade goodies to delight even the pickiest person on your Christmas list. Minstrels and carolers will be there to spread musical cheer to frazzled holiday shoppers. The fair is open three weekends: Nov. 24-26, and Dec. 1-3 and 8-10. Fridays, noon to 9 p.m.; and Saturdays-Sundays, 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Sonoma County Fairgrounds, 1350 Bennett Valley Road, Santa Rosa. $4 for adults and $2 for seniors and children ages 6 to 12. Fridays are half price for all. 707/575-9355.

Dickens Fair Pick out some unique handcrafted gifts while being immersed in seasonal good cheer. A Dickens of a Holiday Crafts Fair will warm your heart with music, song, crafts, and even roving minstrels. Dec. 2, 9 a.m. to 5 p.m.; and Dec. 3, 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. Finley Community Center, 2060 W. College Ave., Santa Rosa. Free. 707/543-3737.

Tinsel & Lights

Festival of Trees The Napa Valley Symphony League’s eighth annual Festival of Trees promises sparkles, glitter, and colorful ornaments of all kinds as designers and individuals create tabletop trees to be admired and then raffled. Nov. 19 at the Silverado Country Club and Resort, 1600 Atlas Peak Road, Napa. Other events include a dinner dance and auction on Nov. 18, and a children’s fashion show and ice cream social on Nov. 19. Proceeds benefit the Napa Valley Symphony. For times and other details, call 707/255-2700.

Yountville Festival of Lights Kickoff events for the monthlong Festival of Lights celebration will be a street fair with food, wine, strolling musicians, an ice-art championship, and other entertainment on Nov. 24, from 9 a.m. to 2 p.m., along Washington Street in Yountville. At 5 p.m., the always dramatic tree and town lighting extravaganza will set the entire town aglow with thousands of lights. Free. 707/944-0904.

Light Up a Life This annual tree lighting–sponsored by Hospice of Petaluma–has become a major focal point of the community over the years, as hundreds gather to cheer on the lighting of the enormous Christmas trees in the old downtown. On Dec. 1, starting at 6:30 p.m. at Petaluma Boulevard North and B Street, celebrants will light candles, sing songs, and remember the departed ones who’ve brought joy and light into their lives. For details or to sponsor a tree light in the name of a loved one, call 707/778-6242.

Xmas Bulb Memorial Hospice and Santa Rosa Memorial Hospital also hold “light up a life” celebrations. Dec. 3 at 6 p.m., Santa Rosa Memorial Hospital, 1165 Montgomery Drive, Santa Rosa; and Dec. 10 at 6 p.m., Oakmont Medical Building, 6575 Oakmont Drive, Oakmont. $10 will light a bulb at either tree.

Illuminight There will be free hot chocolate and cookies and a variety of entertainment at Napa’s downtown Illuminight tree lighting event. Santa will be on hand for some pre-Christmas consultations–and shops will be open late! Dec. 1 at 6 p.m. in front of City Hall, between First and Second streets. 707/257-0322.

Flotilla on Parade Here’s a wintry watery Christmas parade: dozens of festively lit and decorated boats will be on display in the Petaluma River Turning Basin. The local yacht clubs sponsoring this event invite individual boaters to join in this holiday parade on water. Visitors can view the brightly adorned boats all evening at the Turning Basin (Petaluma Boulevard North and B streets, behind the Great Petaluma Mill), and Santa will arrive aboard the Bonnie Lass. The event sets sail on Dec. 2 at 6:30 p.m. 707/765-6750.

Community Christmas What’s Christmas without a festive tractor parade? Calistoga has this and more during the Calistoga Community Christmas Bazaar and Parade Celebration on Dec. 2. The fun starts at 9 a.m. with an old-fashioned crafts bazaar in the fairgrounds at 1439 N. Oak St. The decorated tractors roll down Lincoln Avenue from 6 to 7 p.m., to be followed by a tree lighting with carols and refreshments at the Washington Street Community Center. 707/942-6333.

City of Lights Tooling around Petaluma to ooh and ah at lavishly decorated homes and business has become quite a seasonal tradition. The City of Lights self-guided driving tour runs Dec. 8­29. This year’s theme, “Snowman’s Jubilee,” is sure to produce some stunningly bright sensational creations. To heck with the electricity bill! Call for a map. 707/769-0429.

Seasonal Tours

Holiday in Carneros Looking for a relatively inexpensive way to make merry and help a good cause? Seventeen Carneros wineries will take part in this wine district’s 14th annual open-house event. Each winery will provide a special way to welcome the holidays. Look for food and wine pairings, live entertainment, and more. Weekend of Nov. 18­19 at participating wineries. Proceeds go to community development programs. $10. 800/654-WINE.

Christmas Parlor Tour The Victorian homes of Petaluma are famous for their beauty, their awesome seasonal decorations–and their sheer size. Normally, we only get to gawk from the street–but four of these homes, plus the Petaluma Museum, will be opening their doors this year for Petaluma’s annual Heritage Homes Christmas Parlor Tour. Dec. 3, 6 to 9 p.m. Do wear soft-soled shoes to protect the floors–and do stay out of the closets! $10. 707/769-0429.

Candlelight Tour Wander through historic Victorian homes, mingle with costumed docents and strolling carolers, and partake of chocolate delights and more during Napa Landmarks 12th annual Holiday Candlelight Tour. Dec. 9, 3 to 8 p.m., in the Fuller Park and Napa Abajo historic districts in Old Town Napa. $22 in advance; $25 on the day of the event. 707/255-1836.

Center Stage

All That Glitters Geoffrey Chaucer & Co. present “a medieval musical dinner theatre experience” offering a nice holiday lesson about the results of trying to acquire instant wealth. Nov. 24­Dec. 17. Larkspur Cafe Theater, 500 Magnolia Ave., Larkspur. $40­$45. 415/924-6107.

Fiesta Navidad A Mexican Christmas fiesta comes to the Marin Center, complete with music from the mariachi group Los Camperos de Nati, colorful regional dances from Ballet Olin, a roping exhibition, and Spanish carols. Dec. 3 at 3 p.m. Marin Veterans Auditorium, Avenue of the Flags, San Rafael. $30, $26, and $22. 415/472-3500.

Patrick Ball The acclaimed storyteller and Celtic harpist brings seasonal music and tales to the Marin Center for a holiday celebration. Dec. 16 at 8 p.m. Showcase Theater. Avenue of the Flags, San Rafael. Ticket prices TBA. 415/472-3500.

Santa Rosa Symphony The symphony celebrates the holiday season with choral music from both the Christian and the Jewish traditions, featuring the Sonoma County Bach Choir and the Santa Rosa High School Choir performing works by Bach, Bernstein, Villa-Lobos, Copland, and Silvestre Revueltas. Dec. 16 and 18 at 8 p.m.; and Dec. 17 at 3 p.m. Luther Burbank Center, 50 Mark West Springs Road, Santa Rosa. $19­$39; discounts available. 707/546-8742.

Jazz Greats In their only Bay Area appearance, contemporary jazz pianist Herbie Hancock and saxophonist Wayne Shorter will make a musical pit stop at the Marin Center. This pair of quintessential jazz artists, former members of the Miles Davis Quintet, received critical acclaim for their joint 1998 album 1+1. Nov. 17 at 8 p.m. Avenue of the Flags, San Rafael. $28 and $35. 415/472-3500.

Harp Festival Here’s an event that’s sure to mean a plucking good time: it’s the 11th annual Festival of the Harps. Relax and forget the horrors of the upcoming holidays as the cascading sounds of Celtic, Paraguayan, Chinese, and classical pedal harps transport you to Nirvana. Nov. 18 at 2:30 and 8 p.m. Spreckels Performing Arts Center, 2409 Snyder Lane, Rohnert Park. $20 for general admission, $17 for seniors and youth. 707/588-3400.

Winter’s Grace Acoustical bluegrass and more traditional and reflective seasonal sounds will accompany you on the Winter’s Grace Tour, featuring Laurie Lewis, Tom Rozum, and Bruce Molsky. Nov. 25 at 8:30 p.m. Mystic Theater, 21 Petaluma Blvd. N., Petaluma. $15. 707/765-6665.

Lee Press-On and the Nails OK, so they’re more like Nightmare Before Christmas, but this irrepressible, voodo-tinged swing band provides the perfect break from holiday madness. Dec. 1 at 9 p.m. Mystic Theater, 23 Petaluma Blvd N., Petaluma. $8. 707/765-6665.

The Swallow’s Tale The Cinnabar Young Repertory Theater presents an original holiday musical. Based on Oscar Wilde’s The Happy Prince, The Swallow’s Tale features cooking crocodiles, dancing hippos, and singing statues. Dec. 1­2, 8­9, and 15­16 at 7:30 p.m.; Dec. 3 and 10 at 2 p.m. Cinnabar Theater, 3333 Petaluma Blvd. N., Petaluma. $9 for adults, $6 for youth. 707/763-8920.

Winter Concert Get into the musical gifts of the season with a series of Winter 2000 Concerts by the Occidental Community Choir directed by Doug Bowes. Dec. 2 at 8 p.m., and Dec. 3 at 7 p.m., St. Philip Center, Bohemian Hwy., Occidental. Dec. 8 at 8 p.m., Church of the Incarnation, 550 Mendocino Ave., Santa Rosa. Dec. 10 at 4 p.m., Clos Pegase Winery Caves, 1060 Dunaweal Lane, Calistoga. $7 in Occidental and Santa Rosa, $10 in Calistoga; children under 18 get in free. 707/542-0204.

Boston Brass Two delightful performances are delivered by the Boston Brass in “Concert for the Holidays.” Dec. 3 at 2 and 7 p.m. Lincoln Theater at the California Veterans Home, 100 California Drive, Yountville. $25 for adults, $12.50 for students and children. 707/226-8742.

Cinderella American Family Theatre presents this enchanting, award-winning “Broadway for Kids” musical adaptation of the all-time fairy-tale favorite at the Luther Burbank Center. After the show, meet the characters and take part in the annual LBC tree lighting ceremony in the lobby. Dec. 3 at 12:30 and 3 p.m. LBC, Main Theatre, 50 Mark West Springs Road, Santa Rosa. $14 for adults, $10 for children. 707/546-3600.

Snoopy on Ice Charles Schulz has passed on, but Snoopy and the gang will continue Sparky’s popular holiday tradition. The Redwood Empire Ice Arena presents its holiday show, “It’s Christmas Again.” The visual feast also stars champion skaters, extravagant costumes, and holiday scenery. Dec. 8­23, with most shows at 3 and 7 p.m. Redwood Empire Ice Arena, 1667 W. Steele Lane, Santa Rosa. $10­$45. 707/546-3385.

A Child’s Christmas in Wales There are two chances to see this stage adaptation of the immortal poem by Dylan Thomas. The Cinnabar Teen Acting Ensemble presents the piece on Dec. 8­9 and 15-16 at 7:30 p.m. and Dec. 10 and 17 at 2 p.m. at the Polly Klaas Theater, 417 Western Ave., Petaluma. $9 for adults, $6 for youth. 707/763-8920. Or take a holiday trip to a tiny Welsh village when the Sebastopol Center for the Arts presents a reading by Timothy Williams and Susan Bono on Dec. 7 at 7 p.m. at 425 Morris St., Sebastopol. Free. 707/829-4797.

Holiday Funnies If your seasonal sense of humor is wearing thin, refuel with funnyman David Roche and a few of his buddies. They promise an evening of upbeat, funny, and personal stories about the holiday season. Roche has triumphed over a severe facial disfigurement to be hailed as an extraordinary humorist who uses the healing power of laughter and storytelling to bridge conventional barriers. Dec. 9 at 8 p.m. Dance Palace, Fifth and B streets, Point Reyes Station. $10 for general admission,, $5 for seniors and teens. 415/663-1075.

Chanticleer Christmas Give yourself a gift and wrap yourself in mellifluous wonder. The Chanticleer Men’s Chorus performs the kind of music that fills the bill. Their annual Christmas tour of medieval and Renaissance sacred music (along with traditional carols) brings them to Petaluma on Dec. 19 at 8 p.m. St. Vincent Church, Bassett and Liberty streets. $21-$32. 415/392-4400.

Dance

Balé Folclórico da Bahía This Brazilian company offers a dazzling mix of music, dance, martial arts, and song. Nov. 29 at 8 p.m. Marin Center, Avenue of the Flags, San Rafael. Call for prices. 415/472-3500.

Nutcrackers Galore Dancing mice, dazzling costumes, fairy-tale kingdoms–The Nutcracker has it all. Indeed, as far as we can tell, this timeless holiday classic has only one drawback: Nearly every dance company in the North Bay stages a version, so it’s tough to decide which one to see. We can’t make that decision for you, but here are your options.

As usual, Ballet California offers a jam-packed holiday season. First, meet the characters and view a mini-performance at the company’s annual Nutcracker breakfast on Dec. 3, 9:30 a.m. to noon, at the Sonoma County Hilton, 3555 Round Barn Blvd., Santa Rosa. $17 for adults, and $12 for children aged 10 and under. 707/537-0140.

Then it’s on to a full performance as Ballet California offers the only Nutcracker in Sonoma County with a full live orchestra, plus guest principals Tina Bohnstedt and Viktor Kabaniaev. Catch the production on Dec. 9 at 2 and 7 p.m., and Dec. 10 at 2 p.m. at the Luther Burbank Center, 50 Mark West Springs Road, Santa Rosa. $19­$22 for adults, $14 for children, students, and seniors. 707/546-3600.

The Petaluma City Ballet and the Petaluma School of Ballet team up to present the city’s 14th production of The Nutcracker. Dec. 8 at 8 p.m.; Dec. 9 and 11 at 2 and 8 p.m.; Dec. 10 and 12 at 2 p.m. Sonoma State University, Person Theater, 1801 E. Cotati Ave., Rohnert Park. $16 for adults, $10 for children. 707/765-2660.

The Marin Ballet presents its 29th seasonal production of the holiday classic, offering the full tale, complete and uncut, followed by a Candy Cane party. Dec. 9­10 at 1 and 4:30 p.m. Marin Veterans Auditorium, Marin Center, Avenue of the Flags, San Rafael. Ticket prices TBA. 415/472-3500.

Ballet Story Healdsburg Ballet students perform the full-length story ballet of The Night before Christmas. The characters in Clement B. Moore’s story come to life as they dance to the music of Bizet and Tchaikovsky and the opera Faust in this three-act ballet for adults and kids. Dec. 9 at 7:30 p.m., and Dec. 10 at 2 p.m. 311 Monte Vista Ave., Healdsburg. $9.50 in advance, $12 at the door. 707/431-7617.

Flamenco Fiesta Heat up your holidays with some Spanish fire and sunshine at the FlamencoArts dance student recital. Presented by the Immecor Corp., 35 flamenco dancers, singers, and guitarists will perform traditional pieces and new choreographies. Dec. 10 at 3 p.m. Luther Burbank Theater, Merlo Theater, 50 Mark West Springs Road, Santa Rosa. $10 for adults, $5 for children. 707/544-0909.

Sophie and the Enchanted Toy Shop Marin Dance Theatre’s enchanting ballet, created by two award-winning local choreographers, features a cast of 90 characters, including the Snow Prince and Princess, Valentina Ballerina, and the Dancing Bear. Dec. 16 at 1 and 5 p.m. At 3 p.m., between performances, bring your child to the Teddy Bear Tea Party for food, face painting, and a chance to meet the characters. Marin Veterans Auditorium, Marin Civic Center, Avenue of the Flags, San Rafael. $23 for adults, $12 for children. 415/499-7687.

Songs of the Season

Carols in the Caves This popular event is celebrating its 15th year with performances by multitalented local musician David Auerbach. He will play traditional Christmas music from America and beyond on rare folkloric instruments in the cask-lined caves of local wineries. His vast collection includes the Celtic harp, hammer dulcimer, pan pipes, and the bowed psaltery (an ancestor of the violin). Auerbach plays at the Clos Pegase Winery (1060 Dunaweal Lane, Calistoga), Nov. 25 at 8 p.m. and Nov. 26 at 4 p.m.; Schramsberg Vineyards (1400 Schramsberg Road, Calistoga), Dec. 2­3 at 5 p.m. (Dec. 2 only is a fundraiser for the Jack. L. Davis Napa County Land Preservation fund, $55 includes champagne and hors d’oeuvres); Storybook Mountain Winery (3835 Hwy. 128, Calistoga), Dec. 9 and 10 at 2 p.m.; Folie à Deux Winery (3070 St. Helena Hwy. N., St. Helena), Dec. 16­17 at 2 p.m.; and RMS Carneros Alambic (1250 Cuttings Wharf Road, Napa)–not a cave but a setting amid the cognac stills–Dec. 23 at 7 p.m.. Concerts partially benefit Interplast, a medical charity. $33. 925/866-9559.

Dickens Celebration Step back in time when the Falkirk Cultural Center presents a Victorian Holiday Benefit and Dickens Celebration. The evening will spotlight the Choral Singers of Marin, characters in Dickens attire, old-fashioned caroling, and Father Christmas. Dec. 1, 6 to 9 p.m. 1408 Mission Ave., San Rafael. $8 for general admission, $5 for children and Falkirk members. 415/485-3328.

Candlelight Christmas Concert For its annual candlelit concert, the Marin Symphony Chamber is joined by the Chamber Singers and a handbell ensemble. The performance includes a suite of carols. Dec. 2­3 at 2 and 4:30 p.m. St. Vincent’s Chapel, St. Vincent Drive, San Rafael. $25. 415/479-8100.

Carols and Chocolate Warm up for the holidays with Christmas carols, featuring the Old World Carolers, and hot chocolate. Dec. 16, 2 p.m. Napa Valley Museum, 55 Presidents Circle, Yountville. 707/944-0500.

Sing-Along ‘Messiah’ Though news to some, Handel’s Messiah actually does contain more words than just “Alleluia.” Even if you don’t know them, you can sing them. Join the West Marin Festival Singers and Orchestra, led by Carol Negro, in a sing-along of this glorious choral piece. Dec. 17 at 3 p.m. Dance Palace, Fifth and B streets, Point Reyes Station. $10 for general admission, $8 for seniors and students, $5 for children and youth under 18. 415/663-1075.

There’s more warbling at the 20th annual Redwood Empire Sing-Along Messiah. Join the Santa Rosa Symphonic Chorus and Baroque Sinphonia and flex those vocal cords. Dec. 20 at 7:30. Luther Burbank Center, 50 Mark West Springs Road, Santa Rosa. $14 for general admission, $10 for students and seniors. 707/38-5050.

‘Tis the Season The Choral Singers of Marin will help you catch the spirit of the season and lead you in a rousing burst of caroling. Everyone, even the flat-voiced, can join in! Dec. 17 at 4 p.m. Marin Veterans Auditorium, Avenue of the Flags, San Rafael. 415/472-3500.

Old Country Christmas Meadowood presents a performance by members of the San Francisco Opera Chorus who will sing a selection of Christmas carols from Europe and the Americas beginning with early Baroque. Dinner in the restaurant precedes the performance. Dec. 17, dinner at 5:50 p.m. and performance at 7:30 p.m. 900 Meadowood Lane, Napa. $130 for dinner, performance, and reception; $65 for performance and reception only. 707/968-3155.

Other Traditions

La Posadas Traditional and classical songs are combined to create an interpretation of Old California’s culture during Las Posadas. Las Posadas is a holiday ceremony in which local people act out a musical version of the biblical story of Mary and Joseph. The Mother Lode Musical Theatre presents this bilingual concert version of the traditional early California procession of music and dance. Dec. 16 at 2 p.m. Dance Palace, Fifth and B streets, Point Reyes Station. Free. 415/663-1075.

River Choir Keeping the holiday humming, the River Choir performs Sonny Vale’s “The Magnificent Maccabe,” a modern Hanukkah cantata with a klezmer chamber ensemble, based on Howard Fast’s novel My Glorious Brothers. Dec. 16 at 7:30 p.m. Congregation Shomrei Torah Reform, 1717 Yulupa Ave., Santa Rosa. $6 for adults, $3 for children. 707/869-0516.

Hanukkah Dinner Petaluma’s Congregation B’nai Israel holds a Hanukkah dinner (chicken or vegetarian) on Dec. 24 at 7 p.m. Bring your own menorah and candles for a special lighting ceremony. 740 Western Ave., Petaluma. $20 for adults, $10 for kids; and those under 5 or over 90 get to feast for free. 707/762-0340.

Hanukkah Festival The Osher Marin Jewish Community Center hosts a Hanukkah Festival. Dec. 10, noon to 2 p.m. 200 N. San Pedro Road, San Rafael. Free admission with donation of an unwrapped toy or nonperishable food item to be donated to those in need. 415/444-8007.

Winter Ritual Celebration They’ll be walking in a Wiccan wonderland in Sebastopol, when pagan novelist and spiritual leader Starhawk, joined by Luisah Teish, makes seasonal magic at the 12th annual Winter Ritual and Workshop. The event is a time of reflection and joy, as members of Earth-based spiritual traditions join in dance, song, and storytelling to welcome winter and call back the sun. Dec. 23, 7 to 10 p.m. Community Center, 390 Morris St., Sebastopol. $10­$15. 530/272-1106.

Winter Intertribal Powwow Drumming, dancing, and Native American arts and crafts are the highlight of this annual event sponsored by the American Indian Cultural Education Committee. Dec. 2, 11 a.m. to 10 p.m. Veterans Building, 1351 Maple Ave., Santa Rosa. Free. 707/526-1026 or 707/869-8233.

Miscellany

Holiday Exhibit The Claudia Chapline Gallery presents “A Marin Painter’s World of Color,” acrylic-on canvas paintings by the late Horst Gottschal, Nov. 10­Dec. 31, 3 to 5 p.m. And a holiday celebration of life and art will be held Nov. 12, noon to 3 p.m. 3445 Shoreline Hwy., Stinson Beach. 415/868-2308.

Bow Wow Boutique Hey, they may have decimated the new carpet over the past 12 months, but don’t forget Fluffy and Fido when you’re stuffing those stockings. The Healdsburg Animal Shelter holds its first Holiday Bazaar with tons of gifts for the animals and the people who love them. Plus, a photographer will be on hand to snap your pet, and a caricature artist will capture your critter’s delightful or destructive personality. Nov. 18, 10 a.m. to 4 p.m. 428 Center St., Healdsburg. 707/431-3386.

Holiday Art The Petaluma Art Collective holds its fourth annual Holiday Art Show and sale. Four studios will display a collection of fine weaving, pottery, paintings, watercolors, jewelry, and mosaics by Bay Area artists. Nov. 18­19, 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. 3820 Bodega Ave., Petaluma. 707/769-8315.

Christmas Antiques Deck the halls with splendors from the past. The Christmas Antique and Collector’s Fair comes to the Marin Center. Ferret out Christmas collectibles such as holiday ornaments, antique jewelry, Santa-inspired china glass and silver, and much more. Dec. 2, 10 a.m. to 6 p.m.; Dec. 3, 10 a.m. to 5 p.m. Exhibit Hall, Avenue of the Flags, San Rafael. $5. 415/472-3500.

New Year’s Eve

First Night The sixth annual First Night–a drug- and alcohol-free New Year’s Eve celebration that encompasses much of downtown Santa Rosa–again features a myriad of local musicians, performance artists, poets, dancers, and kids’ activities. The action begins on Dec. 31 at 4 p.m. Entry badges (available at Copperfield’s bookstores) cost $5 in advance, $10 at the gate. 707/579-ARTS.

Standup Comedy Have a funny New Year! The Best of the San Francisco Comedy Competition comes to the Marin Center to ring in the New Year with laughter. Several comedians will perform. Dec. 31 at 9 p.m. Avenue of the Flags, San Rafael. $25. 415/472-3500.

From the November 16-22, 2000 issue of the Northern California Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

‘You Can Count on Me’

True Love

‘You Can Count on Me’ earns its intimate warmth

By

ON THE SURFACE, You Can Count on Me is the typical dreaded Sundance movie, about family togetherness in a small town in upstate New York. Even the cellos on the soundtrack foretell a movie chock-full of hugging. It’s only when the film starts to unfold that you see differently.

The pleasant-looking small town here has its plain, dull side, and there’s congested Sunday traffic on weekends; the long memories of the villagers have a way of keeping the locals from getting over the past. Sammy, the heroine (Laura Linney, who was Jim Carrey’s deceptively sugary wife in The Truman Show) doesn’t mesh in sit-com timing with her shy, chubby fatherless son Rudy (Rory Cullen, Macaulay’s brother). Like real mothers and sons, they talk at slightly cross-purposes.

And Sammy’s job isn’t livened up by a lot of colorful characters. Do you know how it is in small-town movies, that the characters work at the bank? Sammy works at a bank.

As a regular churchgoer, Sammy values her uneventful life, but she’s about to get a shake-up from the arrival of her only other living relative besides Rudy, her drifting brother Terry (Mark Ruffalo). The friction between them is increased by her problems at the office with her new boss, a petty, inept martinet beautifully played by Matthew Broderick. His Brian is the sort of twerp who sends pink notes reading “See me ASAP!!!” to address the problem of an employee being five minutes late for work.

You Can Count on Me is especially a small delight in that no one here gets the last word. The four main characters recognize flaws in each other, but the flaws are left intact. It’s only in the movies that a snap diagnosis fixes a wobbly person and makes him/her sturdy instantly.

Jon Tenney plays Sammy’s pastor, a white mouse of a man who, sadly, insists on calling himself “Pastor Bob.” The reverend expresses himself awkwardly. Yet this Pastor Bob has something important to say about the kind of loneliness Terry faces. (And, naturally, Terry rejects the pastor outright–he may not have heard a word, but we have.)

When Sammy ends up closer to Brian than she could have predicted, the liaison makes no logical and yet perfect emotional sense; it’s Sammy’s reckless youth returning to her, even though she had almost completely sealed herself into middle age. Seeing the first scenes of Ruffalo, I was uneasy. I thought, this is an actor who tears the holes in his own T-shirt to make himself look haggard. Later on, I realized that Terry’s mask of toughness looks ill-fitting not because of Ruffalo’s acting, but because Terry himself isn’t as tough as he seems.

In a weak moment, director writer Kenneth Lonergan wrote the screenplay to The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle, a film that may not have worked because the man wasn’t slick enough. Here he’s luckier. You Can Count on Me is mature, lovable, and touching work. This intimate film earns its warm, sentimental ending; the moments of awkwardness only increase the film’s common sense and charm.

‘You Can Count on Me’ opens Friday, Nov. 17, at Rialto Cinemas Lakeside, 551 Summerfield Road, Santa Rosa. For details, see , or call 707/525-4840.

From the November 16-22, 2000 issue of the Northern California Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Roberto’s Restaurant

0

That’s Italian! Restaurateur Roberto Catania presides over a culinary and community landmark in Santa Rosa.

Mamma Mìa!

Roberto’s: A neighborhood refuge

By Paula Harris

“HI, BOBBY, how ya doin’ this evening?” a bright-eyed young man in a yellow sweater leans across the counter to ask the bartender in the intimate, bustling bar at Roberto’s Italian restaurant. “It’s early yet,” snarls the surly bartender, not missing a beat. “I can still screw it up.”

The bartender is one tough biscotti. The antithesis of Tom Cruise in Cocktail, this keenly observant, pokerfaced chap in his middle years is obviously just as much a draw as the buff movie star, since the bar is crammed with adoring (though likely tipsy) clients. These folks are almost all “old-time” Santa Rosans, and almost all regulars.

The colorful cast of characters resembles a soap opera. One such regular is a thick-set, ruddy-faced, 60-something bleached blonde in a crisp white shirt, lots of eye makeup, and some serious jewelry (we’ll call her Ginny). She’s actually a transplant from New York City.

Ginny hoists a Manhattan (very apt), wastes no time in offering anyone within earshot minute details about herself, and grumbles loudly about the lack of night life in Santa Rosa and the abundance of “rack heads.”

Hmm, maybe she means crackheads.

Meanwhile, a 20-something Ginny-in-training fiddles with her tube top to get maximum cleavage before lurching over the bar to order two Captain ‘n’ cokes for herself and her awestruck boyfriend.

Deadpan Bobby continues mixing killer (and cheap!) cocktails and entertaining patrons with constant patter even more acrid than his vodka martinis. “Hey, who stole my Stoli?” he yells at a passing harried server, who almost drops his tray in alarm.

One guy, a would-be chef, is rhapsodizing about the swordfish special of the evening. “It was cooked medium-well so it wasn’t mushy in the middle. I hate mushy in the middle,” he’s telling hard-drinkin’ Ginny, who nods vaguely between slugs. “And the spinach was clean. No grit. I hate grit.”

THE MAIN dining area in this busy restaurant exudes casual warmth and homeyness, with its wall of small booths and rows of little tables set with candles and red linen tablecloths. There’s a second dining room through a door behind the bar, but it’s sparsely decorated, and the atmosphere in there is, quite frankly, grim. So hang out in the bar and people-watch till you can snag a table in the main area.

Which brings us to the food. Roberto’s is the kind of reliable, family-run casual place that turns out consistently good pastas, soups, salads, and specials. The menu features such traditional trattoria favorites as carpaccio ($7.95), steamed clams ($8.95), veal piccata ($17.95), and chicken Milanese ($16.50). Plus a large array of pasta dishes.

The calamari de la casa ($8.95) is expertly deep-fried, but spoiled by tossing the crispy morsels in a semi-spicy tomato-basil sauce. The overall effect is soggy.

The shiitake mushroom ravioli ($7.95/$14.95) in a light pesto and garlic sauce is much better. It has layers of earthy and creamy flavor–deep and smooth–yet it’s light and not overly filling. The pine nuts flecked over the top give added oomph.

All dinners are served with soup or salad–and both are great. The salad consists of crunchy bitter greens in a light vinaigrette, and the soup tonight is a smoky-flavored minestrone swimming with cabbage and plump white beans.

Polenta pomodoro ($10.95) is served soft and is stick-to-the-ribs comforting in its big bowl, while chicken Marsala ($16.50) with mushrooms and Marsala wine is light (not creamy) and delicious.

Bigger appetites may prefer the New York steak al Pepe ($18.95), a firm cut of meat in an ultra-rich green peppercorn and brandy sauce, served with piped mashed potatoes and garden-fresh carrots and chard.

Don’t miss the house-made tiramisu ($4.95) for dessert. It’s a classic: ladyfingers, mascarpone cheese, whipped cream, ground espresso beans, chunks of chocolate, and a hint of liqueur–it’s all in there.

The wine list is comprehensive, with mid-priced bottles, plus some more pricy yummies like 1997 St. Francis Old Vines Zinfandel ($42). Service is impressive; the staff seem rushed off their feet but manage to retain a friendly, attentive composure.

As we leave, we notice that Ginny now has spaghetti sauce stains down the front of her white shirt, but is as bubbly as ever, and that the bartender is still in top form. “I’m gonna kill somebody tonight,” he growls, slapping a maraschino cherry onto an ice cream sundae held out by an apologetic waiter. “And you might as well be the one!”

We can’t wait for the next installment.

Roberto’s Restaurant Address: 4776 Sonoma Hwy., Santa Rosa; 707/539-0260 Hours: Tuesday-Sunday, 4 to 10 p.m. Food: Italian favorites Service: Friendly and helpful, though sometimes rushed Ambiance: Casual and warm; crowded on weekends Price: Moderate Wine list: Good selection Overall: 2 1/2 stars (out of 4)

From the November 9-15, 2000 issue of the Northern California Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

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True Love 'You Can Count on Me' earns its intimate warmth By ON THE SURFACE, You Can Count on Me is the typical dreaded Sundance movie, about family togetherness in a small town in upstate New York. Even the cellos on the soundtrack foretell a movie chock-full of hugging. It's only...

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