The Byrne Report

The Byrne Report

Bombs Away

MARIN, NAPA AND SONOMA counties are much more likely to be devastated by earthquakes and forest fires than by dirty bombs, anthrax or chlorine gas. But if the United States attacks Iran, Syria or Lebanon, an Islamic political party, Hezbollah, is bound to retaliate inside America. Or so say the people who handicap terrorism at Risk Management Solutions of Newark, Calif.

The Hezbollah’s style is not to attack civilians or use weapons of mass destruction, known as WMDs. The Beirut-based party would probably target military installations (like those radio towers that look like giant golf balls sitting on top of Mt. Tamalpais). Messy, perhaps, but not a big enough deal that you should put your Mill Valley home on the market.

Chris Godley, emergency services manager for Marin County, says there do not appear to be credible terrorist cells operating in California. “The statistical threat of terrorism to me and my family is relatively low compared to driving down Highway 101,” he says. “But due to the concentration on terrorism, we lose sight of other risks, like fires, earthquakes and flu pandemics.”

The U.S. Department of Homeland Security does not agree with Godley. Since Sept. 11, 2001, it has awarded $4.5 million in homeland-security grants to Marin, dwarfing the county’s regular emergency services budget. The Feds also ordered that the windfall be used almost exclusively to plan for WMD attacks. Like his counterparts in other North Bay counties, Godley was instructed to buy chemical, biological, radiological or nuclear (CBRN) equipment–hazardous materials suits, decontamination gear and pharmaceutical stockpiles–from lists of vendors that had been preapproved by the department.

Such equipment is notoriously hard to use. “You have a golden hour to rescue, treat, decontaminate and ship people to a hospital,” Godley says. “It takes 30 minutes to an hour to suit up in the elaborate gear, and by the time you suit up, it is too late.” Furthermore, once what is called a Level-A HazMat suit is donned, a healthy person can only work inside it for about 20 minutes before it becomes unbearably hot and must be discarded into a toxic waste container.

“Training on this equipment comes at the expense of other programs, such as teaching earthquake preparedness,” Godley says. But there is an upside: training for chemical attack helps responders deal with more certain events, like tanker truck accidents.

Santa Rosa Fire Department Division Chief Charles Hanley coordinates weapons of mass destruction grants for the city. He is not an expert on terrorism or WMD, but somebody has to do the job. In the last three years, Sonoma County has used $4 million in homeland-security money to purchase emergency-response vehicles, HazMat suits and specialty items, such as automatic nerve-gas-antidote injectors.

During the same time period, Napa county got $1.25 million to prepare for a Bushcalypse. Kathy Brady, emergency services coordinator for Calistoga, says the county spent $611,000 on HazMat suits, biological-threat-detection equipment, a new emergency dispatch system and in setting up a Citizen Corps program, which encourages people to inform on “suspicious” neighbors. This year, Brady is buying portable morgues. “The Napa Wine Train carries dignitaries,” she says. “A biological event is a possibility.”

Napa city police commander Andy Lewis is not too worried about his city becoming a terror target. He is concerned about not losing sight of the ABCs of emergency response, such as handling earthquake refugees from San Francisco. But planning and equipping for disaster survival and recovery are not big on Homeland Security’s wish list.

“There is a huge industry for weapons of mass destruction equipment,” Lewis says. “We’ve got air respirators and air purifiers and portable decontamination units and morgues. We outfitted the whole SWAT team with HazMat suits.”

This year, the Department of Homeland Security flooded the nation’s counties with $2.5 billion for CBRN equipment and WMD training, with an emphasis on funding intelligence operations for local police. Reform is unlikely. President Bush recently fired the department’s Inspector General, Clark Kent Ervin, after he reported that Homeland Security is incapable of accurately accounting for $10 billion in local grants.

Beset by confusing instructions and too much manna from Washington, North Bay emergency officials are attempting to do their jobs. In between CBRN seminars and responding to color-code changes, they try to prepare for such more pressing scenarios as earthquakes, forest fires and gas main explosions. There is little time to be worried about bombs set off by Hezbollah, or Kahane Chai, a Jewish extremist organization dedicated to restoring the Biblical state of Israel and identified by Risk Management Solutions as a domestic terrorist threat.

Their valiant efforts may be in vain as long as the clear and present danger to our security remains our central government, which claims to be protecting us, while actually doing the opposite.

From the December 22-28, 2004 issue of the North Bay Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

NYE Guide

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Partee!

What’s cooking for an NB New Year’s Eve

By R. V. Scheide

All dressed up and nowhere to go this New Year’s Eve? We’re here to help with our highly subjective list of what’s cool. We’ve combed through the press releases, Googled our laptops and called just about every club in the area searching for the New Year’s events that are perfect for you.

Sonoma County

COTATI

Tradewinds The Pulsators’ performances at the Tradewinds have become a North Bay New Year’s staple. 8210 Old Redwood Hwy., Cotati. $15. 9pm. 707.795.7878.

GUERNEVILLE

Main Street Station Hit four New Year’s parties in one with the Station’s “Time Zone” celebration, featuring fabulous blues singer Gwen “Sugar Mama” Avery. 16280 Main St., Guerneville. 7:30pm. $10; $18 for free champagne all night. 707.869.0501.

HEALDSBURG

Healdsburg Bar & Grill Go old-school with the classic rock sounds of the Remedies. Dancing, buffet and champagne toast. 245 Healdsburg Ave. 8:30pm to 1:30am. $50. 707.433.3333.

Raven Theater Lemon Lime Lights open for soul man Earl Thomas, the singer-songwriter whose songs have been recorded by Solomon Burke and Etta James. 115 North St., Healdsburg. 8pm. $25-$35. 707.433.6335.

PETALUMA

Cinnabar Theater Go eclectic with Cinnabar’s production of Something New for the Zoo, an unusual musical tribute to Vienna. Dessert and wine party precedes performance; champagne and party favors follow. 3333 Petaluma Blvd. N., Petaluma. 9pm. $48-$50. 707.763.8920.

Mystic Theatre Michael Jackson may be down, but the Motown cover band Wonderbread 5 keep on keeping on, simple as A-B-C. 21 Petaluma Blvd. N., Petaluma. 8pm. $55-$60. 707.765.2121.

Zebulon’s Lounge The Kathleen Grace Band kick off their Northern California tour at Zebs on New Year’s Eve. Free hors d’oeuvres, champagne toast. 21 Fourth St., Petaluma. 9pm to 1am. $55. 707.769.7948.

PENNGROVE

Black Cat Bar & Cafe All-girl bands Slinky Minx and Cheap Date 13 rock the Cat. Black Cat Bar and Cafe, 10056 Main St. 9pm. $9. 707.793.9480.

ROHNERT PARK

The Other Side Party for women (“women, women, women!!” shouts the Craigslist posting) groove to DJ Page Hodel at the Doubletree Hotel. Ballroom hip-hop dancing, hors d’oeuvres, fantasy desserts, four full bars and balloon drop. Doubletree Hotel, 1 Red Lion Drive, Rohnert Park. 9pm to 2am. $20-$25. 707.584.5866.

SANTA ROSA

5AM’s Big Blue Ball Local rockers 5AM do their “big rock thang” at the Russian River Brewing Company. 725 Fourth St., Santa Rosa. $25. 707.545.2337.

Last Day Saloon The Saloon goes techno with Yoyopad–DJs Rob Cervantes and Matt McKillop–and a fashion show. Dress your best, win a prize. 9pm. 120 Fifth St., Santa Rosa. $20-$25. 707.545.2343.

Los Robles Lodge Ballroom Singles mingle, make friends and even find mates at this month’s Sonoma Singles Soirees. DJ Les Schill, hors d’oeuvres, champagne toast. 1985 Cleveland Ave., Santa Rosa. 8pm to 1pm. $20-$30. 415.507.9962.

SEBASTOPOL

Sebastopol Community Center Learn the swamp stomp with Tom Rigney and Flambeu, the Cajun County All Stars and the Love Choir. 7pm. Sebastopol Community Center, 390 Morris St., Sebastopol. $25-$30. 707.823.1511.

SONOMA

Murphy’s Irish Pub Ring in the Irish New Year with Greenhouse at 3pm, then blast off with the hot licks of guitarist Andrew Freeman at 9pm. Murphy’s Irish Pub, 464 First St., Sonoma. Free. 707.935.0660.

Marin County

BOLINAS

Smiley’s The oldest bar in California gets down with the Jenny Kerr Band. 41 Wharf Road, Bolinas. 9pm. Free. 415.868.1311.

FAIRFAX

19 Broadway Speakeasy extravaganza with Chrome Johnson, the new kings of twang, and his burlesque revue. 19 Broadway Blvd., Fairfax. 9:30pm. $20. 415.459.1091.

MILL VALLEY

Sweetwater Saloon High-energy jam band Mother Hips shake, rattle and roll in the New Year at Sweetwater. Meanwhile, across the street at 142 Throckmorton, Vinyl do the same thing. Sweetwater, 153 Throckmorton Ave., Mill Valley. 415.388.2820. Both at 9pm. $45 each. 142 Throckmorton, 415.388.7769.

NICASIO

Rancho Nicasio Fool around and fall in love with the Elvin Bishop Band. Town Square, Nicasio. 8:30pm. $55. 415.662.2219.

OLEMA

Olema Inn Proud hippies from Olema get paranoid with girl-power goodness of Pink Sabbath, a female quartet embodying the good-naturedly unholy union between Ozzy Osbourne and the Andrews Sisters. Featuring the organic creations of chef Ed Vigil. 10000 Sir Francis Drake Blvd., Olema. 6pm. $3 for the music. 415.663.9559.

PT. REYES STATION

Dance Palace & Community Center The Artifacts provide the entertainment at this benefit for the Coastal Health Alliance. Snacks, desserts, champagne. Pt. Reyes Station Dance Palace and Community Center, 503 B St., Pt. Reyes Station. 9pm to 1am. $50. 415.663.8198.

Old Western Saloon Diapers are optional as Swamp Thang terrorize the West County. Old Western Saloon, 11201 Hwy. 1, Pt. Reyes Station. 9pm till you drop. $6. 415.663.1661.

Napa County

NAPA

Napa’s Rainbow Room Life is a cabaret, old chum, as Tony Award nominee Sharon McNight performs two shows. 806 Fourth St., Napa. 8pm and 10:45pm. Two drink minimum. 707.252.4477.

Napa Valley Wine Train Featuring live music by the Jazz Project, gourmet cuisine and the Napa Valley’s finest wines, the Wine Train is a great way to drink in the New Year–and leave the driving to someone else. 1275 McKinstry St., Napa. Check in by 4:30pm. $200-$225. 800.427.4124.

ST. HELENA

1351 Lounge It’s a White Ball this New Year’s Eve with the Brian Cline Band providing the classic-rock backdrop. 9:30pm. 1351 Main St., St. Helena. $30. 707.963.1969.

From the December 22-28, 2004 issue of the North Bay Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Tolay Lake Park

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Lord of the Faerie Ring

Jim Friedman’s uphill climb to create a community

By Matthew hagan

On a chilly November afternoon near Guerneville, the Faerie Ring Campground lies silent. Shafts of sunlight filter through thick stands of redwoods, illuminating a fleet of 40 or so trailers, RVs and fifth wheels perched upon a hillside. A household cat prowls beside a white bus converted into a home.

It’s a steep hike to the top of the hill where the campground’s boundary meets the forest, but it’s nothing compared to the uphill climb owner Jim Friedman’s been on since he purchased the Faerie Ring three years ago for $439,000.

“I was working long hours and wanted something to invest in, something that would allow me to move toward my dreams,” recalls Friedman, a psychologist who for the past five years has worked with prisoners in San Quentin. He envisioned creating a retreat, not just for himself, but for other people seeking spiritual healing. Adjusting his wire-framed glasses and gazing out across the campground, he says, “I thought it would be like spending all day in Hell, only to come home every night to Heaven.”

Instead, Friedman discovered that he’d bought into Sonoma County’s longstanding problems with homelessness and affordable housing.

When he first moved into the 13-acre campground in 2001, he found that there were already a number of people living there permanently. Some were physically or mentally disabled and on low or fixed incomes; others were just down on their luck. The Faerie Ring, with space rents ranging from $400 to $500, is one of the few affordable havens in a region where the median rent exceeds $1,000.

As winter’s chill set in, more people flocked to the campground, and Friedman decided that he would take in as many as he could.

His uphill climb had begun.

As a prison psychologist, Friedman was well aware how the mentally ill, the disabled and the poor have been shoved to society’s margins. But such awareness didn’t help all that much when residents refused to pay rent, allowed their campsites to become overrun with garbage or became violent with their neighbors. He chose to focus on helping residents who were trying to help themselves.

“I decided to make it a safer environment,” he says. “To do this, I started an eviction process. Once it was through, I think what was left was a really good group of people. These people were in mental-health programs, drug rehab and some of them were just trying to save money so they could buy a house.”

Certainly, most of the residents were in need of spiritual healing, and although Friedman had perhaps envisioned a slightly different clientele for his imagined retreat, the Faerie Ring had become a retreat all the same. He felt he was once again on track. Then the feces, quite literally, hit the fan.

The septic system at the campground backed up, and the county ordered it fixed. Friedman met with several companies, and one said it could fix the problem, but didn’t. In the meantime, Friedman had to pay to pump the septic system every other day. “A plumbing firm came in and said that they could get the system back in working order,” he remembers. “After they did their repairs, it worked for several weeks. Then oil in the tank caused it to clog again.”

After these failures, Friedman had a civil engineer come out and excavate the property. “My understanding was that they would handle things with the county,” he sighs, noting that he had been unaware that he hadn’t been fulfilling his obligations with the county. “I thought we were progressing as fast as possible, but that’s when the notice for the abatement hearing came.”

Mariellen Otto and her husband Don have lived in the only house at the campground for the past year and presently serve as assistant managers. On this chilly November day, green plastic chairs encircle the Otto’s concrete driveway in anticipation of that afternoon’s community meeting. Mariellen Otto says, “When the notice of abatement came from the county, we all thought that the park was going to close and we were going to lose our homes.”

Friedman had not moved swiftly enough to correct the septic problem and while he thought plans for a new system had already been submitted to the county, he was mistaken. “I definitely feel like I should have been more on top of the situation,” he says. The mistake cost him dearly, with Friedman being fined $9,795, a huge blow considering the several thousand dollars he says he loses every month on the property.

Friedman now has a septic plan submitted to the county and is ready to begin construction on the new system. “I am hopeful that the septic system will be taken care of by early next year,” he says. “We have also discovered some electrical issues at the campground that we hope will be fixed by next year as well.”

With these problems being solved, Friedman can look to the campground’s future.

“I want the Faerie Ring to continue to be a supportive community of people willing to look out for one another,” he says. “I would like to create a program where people can learn how to take care of themselves, and if they need it, receive counseling.”

With the immediate problems on their way to resolution and the future of the Faerie Ring looking brighter, Friedman is on the verge of realizing his dream, which has evolved from creating a sanctuary for himself to providing a safe haven for people who really need it.

“Everybody here helps everybody,” says Mariellen Otto. “You don’t get that in a lot of places. Neighbors just aren’t friends, but here they are.” A board committee has been established for residents to air grievances, and Freidman recently began training the Ottos in mediation techniques.

“Jim is a wonderful human being,” she adds. “He’s honest, forthright and he doesn’t try to hide anything from us. He truly is a great guy.”

A guy who, one day, just might make it to the top of the hill.

From the December 22-28, 2004 issue of the North Bay Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Christmaskkah

Best of Both Worlds: ‘Tis the season of celebrations.

Christmaskkah

Blending the holidays, finding good cheer

By Jill Koenigsdorf

I grew up in Kansas. There were not a lot of Jews in Kansas. In terms of diversity–well, where I lived, if you had curly hair that wasn’t blonde, you were exotic. My Jewish father, handsome in WW II uniform and ever ready with the charm and good jokes, long ago convinced a smitten Australian nurse named Heather Jean McGregor to leave her bucolic Down Under paradise and join him in this alien Midwestern suburb where tennis whites, conformity and early afternoon martinis ruled the day. Happily, my parents did not bind themselves tightly to that old Bible belt, but wore it loosely, if at all.

Ours was a house that celebrated Hanukkah and Christmas, Passover and Easter, and we reaped the benefits of a broad exposure to both worlds. We got to participate in the matzoh-ball-soup-eating contests and search for the afikomen at Passover, as well as the chocolate-bunny-eating contests and search for eggs at Easter.

From a child’s point of view, it was a win-win situation. The Scottish lassie with the funny accent learned to make matzoh balls, and my father and I haunted the Shriners’ Christmas tree lot in hopes of finding a bargain on our Hanukkah bush. Our house could have been the subject of a different version of the movie When Worlds Collide, but in terms of the holidays, this was a very good thing.

 

One of my favorite skits from an old Saturday Night Live holiday special has Elliott Gould hosting an Elks or Masons gathering, leading the members in the singing of the traditional Christmas carols. After the first verse, only the Jews are left singing, as only they know all the words to all the verses to even the most obscure Christmas carols. My father, a Shriner, was in one of these mysterious orders which I associate with late-night poker games, red fezzes with tassels and loud men who pinched my cheek and then asked me to go make them a scotch. Furthermore, I was voted “master of revels” at my school– me, one of the two Jewish girls in the class–and it was my job to lead the entire school in the traditional Christmas caroling and even the lighting of the yule log. I wore a jester’s costume and had a mini-me on a stick with bells on his cap that I rattled as I sang. To this day, I can still sing “O Come All Ye Faithful” in Latin, and I know all the verses to even the trickier songs like “Good King Wenceslas” or “Bring a Torch, Jeanette Isabella.” But I mainly remember this skit because it seems so completely normal, because my own holidays were such studies in cross-pollination. My brothers and I would horse around, loudly substituting the words “O Hanukkah Bush” for “O Christmas Tree,” or “I’m Dreaming of a White Hanukkah,” and it worked just fine, despite a few extra syllables.

My suburb was fiercely competitive about Christmas decorations, and the Thanksgiving turkey would barely have made its natural evolution into the soup pot before inflatable snowmen and styrofoam reindeer began sprouting in peoples’ front lawns. One of our tallest downtown buildings projected an outdoor slide show on the wall telling the story of baby Jesus and the birth of Christmas. Cars would wait in line to see the 20-foot images of the donkey and the Wise Men, then drive up, watch it a while with their heaters on and engines idling, and then move forward so the car behind them could watch.

Every Christmas, my mother got terribly homesick. About a week before the big event she would become more and more agitated, threatening to call off the family dinner we always hosted. While pacing, she would repeat, “I want to go home, I want to see my people.” I would sometimes come home from sledding, rosy and full of the steak soup that one of the other mothers made for us, to find my mother conquered by that more difficult darkness of a Midwestern 4 o’clock December. She would look up, give me a faint smile, then continue sipping Drambuie from a little rose-colored glass while staring out the window at the bare, ice-encrusted branches and dead lawns.

My father would ultimately arrange for a long-distance phone call at some odd hour, as it was a day later down there, already Christmas to our Christmas Eve. As my mother’s voice was passed around from sister to sister, her accent would grow increasingly stronger. But when her lone brother was put on the line, the tears would start pouring down her cheeks. I would sometimes get to talk with one of my aunties, and was amazed at how they spoke of the heat or the fresh peas from the garden while we were shoveling snow and fencing with icicles.

Strangely, my mother only called home at Christmas, and even after all the weeping, she seemed revived by the contact. The call fortified her, made her ready to don her holiday apron with the glittery poinsettias and dive into the final preparations before the onslaught. We spied on her through the bars of the upstairs banister, relieved that she was humming as she carried up from the basement a box of old Christmas bulbs from Australia which she hung on the tree herself after midnight.

 

Driving around my neighborhood now in Sonoma, I see people hauling out the nativity scenes, the candy canes and sleighs and reindeer. I always put blue lights on my house as a nod to Hanukkah. Some people bemoan assimilation, decrying the fact that Christmas dominates all the holidays, but I say it all began, long ago and far away–before people began killing each other because their god was the best god, before everything got so fractured–as a celebration of light in the dark of winter, a chance to feast and gather with friends. Looking at the holidays this way, I see how connected we all are. We were all of us once merely bog and cave dwellers, hoping for a bit of merriment in the dead of winter. And now, each with our own version of a torch, be it Kwanzaa, Hanukkah, Christmas or any other, strive in common to keep the darkness at bay.

Despite having been a religious dilettante, never having tasted holy wafer or had a bat mitzvah, I never feel confused or slighted. I feel more like some lucky traveler with dual citizenship, allowed to experience all the holidays without the pressure to find one superior. And that’s a holiday gift that keeps on giving.

From the December 22-28, 2004 issue of the North Bay Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Last-Minute Christmas Discs

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: Chris Isaak’s Xmas disc rocks. –>

Last-minute discs to deck the hol’s

By Bruce Robinson

Here we go again. ‘Tis the season when more people sing about roasted chestnuts than actually eat them, and holiday musical chestnuts are subjected to an endless string of redundant reinterpretations. One more overwrought rendition of “O Holy Night” and I’ll be pining for a return to nights of sin and error, too. Or did that already happen?

This annual exercise in seasonal self-indulgence is fueled by a curious quirk in the world of radio, in which stations abandon their usual play lists for a few weeks to broadcast nothing but Christmas music. In some areas this year, it began the morning after Halloween, with residents awaking to carols even before their sugar highs had completely abated. In New York and other major markets, there are now multiple stations competing with the temporary “all Santa, all the time” format. At least most of our local stations have held back the wall-to-wall approach in favor of a gradually increasing mix with their usual tracks.

Of course, you needn’t depend on the radio for your December dose of musical snow. For those who prefer to program their own audio, here’s a quick sampling of some of this year’s new holiday offerings.

‘Christmas,’ Chris Isaak (Reprise). Isaak’s easy baritone is well-suited for crooning the likes of “Let It Snow” and “Pretty Paper,” while his retrobilly treatments of “Rudolph” and “Blue Christmas” are sprightly and agreeable. On the down side, he also assays “The Christmas Song,” but innocuously. Isaak also pulls off the greater challenge of mixing in five original Christmas songs that mesh stylistically and have enough general appeal to stand with the traditional tunes. “Hey, Santa!” and “Gotta Be Good” deserve future covers of their own, but the big surprise is “Brightest Star,” a simple, heartfelt statement of faith that provides an unexpectedly sacred anchor amid the secular selections that dominate the disc.

‘Everything You Want for Christmas,’ Big Bad Voodoo Daddy (Vanguard). This bunch of L.A. neo-hipsters also rely heavily on their own holiday tunes, along with a heavy dose of irony-drenched attitude. We’re talking seriously custom material here; there’s not a lot of crossover potential in “Christmastime in Tinsel Town” or “Last Night (I Went Out with Santa Claus).” Their bare-bones bari sax version of “Jingle Bells (Cha Cha)” is amusing the first time or two, but a bonus alternate track helps wear the novelty out in double time. Still, the opening “Rockabilly Christmas” is fun, and they give Louis Armstrong’s “Is Zat You Santa Claus?” an energetic updating. The brass choir arrangement of “We Three Kings” that closes the set is played uncharacteristically straight, and is lovely.

‘Boogie Woogie Christmas,’ the Brian Setzer Orchestra (Surfdog). Setzer, the former Stray Cats frontman, offers a slightly more conventional big-band approach to the holidays, with a 13-man horn section who get to shine on a seven-minute “Nutcracker Suite” arrangement by Frank Comstock and vigorously decorates “Sleigh Ride,” “Winter Wonderland” and others. Setzer’s vocals are the weakest link, most egregiously on “Baby, It’s Cold Outside,” where his duet with Ann-Margret would provoke Oedipal cringes if it weren’t so tentative and tepid. And the schmuck even tackles “O Holy Night.” Up-tempo stuff like “Boogie Woogie Santa Claus” fares much better.

‘On Christmas Night,’ Cherish the Ladies (Rounder). This lively Celtic ensemble sidestep the overfamiliar by employing seasonal selections little known on this side of the Atlantic, or incorporating classic carols into medleys with jigs and fiddle tunes. The vocals are sweet and understated, while the acoustic instrumentation is flawless. Not for everyone, but a treat for those whose tastes run in this direction.

‘Merry Fishes to All,’ Trout Fishing in America (Trout Records). This whimsical duo take seasonal originality full bore, with a dozen playful new songs, many of which (“You Gotta Get Up,” “Snow Day,” “Santa Brought Me Clothes,” “My Birthday Comes on Christmas”) view the holiday from a childhood perspective. Others, like “The Eleven Cats of Christmas” or “I Got a Cheese Log” are general silliness for all ages. They strike a nice balance of satire and poignancy on “The Christmas Letter,” but a personal favorite is “Bob and Bob,” the story of two identical snowflakes. Yup, that’s what makes them unique.

So, checking the totals, we’ve got one “O Holy Night,” one “Christmas Song,” three versions of “Blue Christmas”–and no barking dogs.

Merry Christmas!

From the December 22-28, 2004 issue of the North Bay Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Cook It!

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Cook It!

Pass the Paté, Love

Only at this time of year do I get inspired to use lots of eggs, cream and butter. What the hell, I say, it’s only once a year that I indulge in artery heavy-hitters such as eggnog, chocolate truffles and chicken liver pâté. Not only are these heady treats great fun to nibble around a roaring fire, they’re simply glamorous. For the better part of a Christmas cartoon special, you can feel like the Fitzgeralds–isn’t that right, dahling?

There’s one small catch, though. In order to get to pâté land, you’ve got to wade in the world of chicken livers. Squirmy little things that they are, chicken livers can arouse the creeps in even the most stalwart of cooks. I am always struck by their bloody exterior, a reminder that I’m dealing with organ meat. I’m a big baby for a few minutes, then once I get those shallots going in the butter, my temperament mellows and I begin to embrace their musky aroma as they dance in a puddle of my favorite bourbon.

Are you ready for some cholesterol? Let the holiday splurge begin!

Boozy chicken liver pâté

1 shallot, peeled and minced
2 tbsp. unsalted butter, plus 1 stick, melted
1 bay leaf
1/2 tsp. grated nutmeg
1 tub of chicken livers (about 1 pound)
1/4 c. brandy, cognac or bourbon

Rinse chicken livers and trim off fat and any hard tendons. In a deep skillet, sauté the shallot in 2 tablespoons of butter for about 2 minutes, until softened a bit. Add livers, bay leaf and nutmeg. Gently cook on medium heat, until firm and slightly pink, about 15 minutes. Add alcohol of choice and bring up to a boil, about 3 minutes. Season with salt and pepper, and remove bay leaf.

Let mixture cool slightly, about 10 minutes, and transfer mixture to the bowl of a food processor.

Add melted butter to mixture while machine is running, and blend until smooth. Taste for salt. Scoop out, place in a covered bowl that will be chilled for several hours or overnight.

Serve at room temperature, with crackers, toast points or on a spoon in front of the television. Keeps for at least one week in an airtight container.

Kim O’Donnel

From the December 22-28, 2004 issue of the North Bay Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Swirl n’ Spit

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Swirl n’ Spit

Let’s Drink to the Holidays!

By Heather Irwin

Family, friends, holiday shopping, office gatherings and in-laws. Oh, the many reasons to drink during the holidays. And, despite your inclination to cheap out and bring whatever’s left in the back of the refrigerator, don’t. Get a little creative and bring something different, a little unique. Your payoff will be under the mistletoe.

Bring it for hors d’oeuvres: Mia’s Playground 2002 Chardonnay for under $14. A division of Don Sebastiani and Sons, this fun, wacky label is easy and unpretentious. Plus, you’ll have at least 20 minutes of fun reading all the stuff on the label. Bonus points: find the three monkeys.

Bring it to dinner: Big, oaky Chardonnays at dinner are beyond gauche. Ease up and bring a lighter, food-friendly white as well as a luscious red, and let your host decide how and when to serve them. The best bet: Hanna 2003 Sauvignon Blanc goes well with lighter fare and white meats. The 2002 Trefethan Merlot has great body, but won’t overpower the meal.

Bring it to your lover: Bubble bath and two bottles of rosé. Toad Hollow 2003 Pinot Noir Rosé and the sweetly blushed Bonny Doon 2003 Big House Pink should do the trick.

Bring it to your boss: If he’s got a sense of humor, how about a bottle of Fat Bastard Shiraz–big, cheap and fruity, just like the old boy. If he fails to find the humor, Le Vieille Ferme sounds expensive and French, even though it translates roughly to “the old farm” and is anything but.

For Mom and Dad: If they don’t know a Two-Buck Chuck from a Domaine Chandon, you’ll do best to give them a wine country sampler of $5 to $15 wines from well-known names like Gallo and Kendall-Jackson. If they’re into trying something a little exotic (and slightly pricier), try a bottle of Cabernet from Darioush Winery. Spicy and bold, it’s a fun departure for dear old Mom and Dad.

For New Year’s Eve: Little pink cans of Sophia sparkling wine are great party favors and cost less than $5 each. If you’re splurging (over $10, and trust me, it’s worth it the next day) grab a bottle of bubbly from J Winery or Gloria Ferrer.

For co-workers: Presentation is everything, especially when giving inexpensive wine. Cost Plus has a great selection of wines under $5. Grab a selection of whites and reds with fun and funky labels, like the new Red Bicyclette from Gallo wines. Target has adorable printed wine boxes for $9.99 that make the cheapest bottle look impressive.

From the December 22-28, 2004 issue of the North Bay Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Boho’s 1st Annual Photo Contest

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Photograph by Craig Davis

‘End Times’
Craig Davis, who works as a Buckelew Programs’ independent-living-skills counselor helping the disabled homeless transition to housing, took this photo of an unidentified man while waiting in line to see ‘Fahrenheit 9/11′ at the Rialto Lakeside Cinemas. The man, evidently rallying a cause close to theatergoers’ hearts, only allowed Davis to take the shot after ascertaining that Davis wasn’t from Homeland Security.

Sense of Place

Our first annual photo contest

This was an experiment well worth trying! We set out a call to non-professional photographers some weeks ago, asking you to submit images that you felt best described the North Bay. Almost 100 of you responded, including eight-year-old Vaughn R. Higgenbotham, whose appreciation of garbage cans and warning signs has ensured that we¹ll never look at those objects the same way again.

Remember, we cautioned, “gorgeous” isn’t the same thing as “beautiful.” We weren’t asking for pretty pictures, though we certainly received many, some of which you’ll see on the following pages. Rather, we were looking for the disparate eyes of the North Bay to help us record a short, living, snapshot of the area we share.

It appears that a new tradition has been founded! We hope that you enjoy this refection of our good fortune in inhabiting such a profoundly vibrant area with such a diversity of peoples. But most of all–we wish each and every one of us peace, joy, good health and great love as we journey together ’round the sun toward another New Year.

Gretchen Giles

Photograph by Mike McGuire

Former Hidden Valley School principal Mike McGuire took this shot east of Glen Ellen on Highway 12 just this fall. When we contacted him, we were told that McGuire, who recently retired, was ‘in a meeting.’ In fact, he was taking a piano lesson. To the good life!

Honorable Mention

Photograph by Sandra Stark

And the Livin’ Is Easy
Sandra Stark’s ‘Summer Porch on the Russian River in Guerneville’ captures that lazy yellow liquid of a summer 4pm so well.

Photograph by Timothy Hollingshead

‘Greetings From the Edge’
Tim Hollingshead and his wife, Judy, moved up to the town of Mendocino a few years ago. Tim, a retired power-generation specialist (‘I used to make electricity,’ he explains enigmatically), sent this image out to friends as a procrastinator’s Chinese New Year greeting. ‘I wanted people to see that we’re living on the edge of the world now,’ he explains.

Photograph by Ann Trinca

‘Silverado’
Ann Trinca, gallery manager for the Di Rosa Preserve and editor of the zine ‘Pearl Necklace,’ took this shot of an abandoned Napa chicken shack right behind her apartment with a Holga camera she got for Christmas. ‘It’s a really cheap German camera,’ she explains , ‘known for making odd effects because it’s plastic.’ Trinca is intrigued by the ‘forgotten’ places that Napa still harbors.

Honorable Mention

Photograph by Edward Palen

‘Autumn on Gravenstein’
New Sonoma County resident Edward Palen is enraptured by his adopted home of Sebastopol. And, um, man‹it looks great in color, too. Sorry, Edward.

Photograph by Mari Stefonetti

‘Tafoni #2 Salt Pt.’
Finishing up her MFCC license, Petaluma resident Mari Stefonetti is particularly interested in the form, texture and color of the soft coastal rock in Sonoma County’s northern reaches. ‘I look at it as another world,’ Stefonetti says. ‘The stone formations remind me of ruins.’

Photograph by Tina Hannon

Bullet-Poofed Glass
Cloverdale court reporter Tina Hannon visited Alcatraz for the first time as part of a family reunion trip in 2002. There, she found this window with a full-barreled view.

Photograph by Philip Copenhaver

‘Sonoma Creek, Sugarloaf Ridge’
Philip Copenhaver, who describes himself as ‘old enough to know better,’ is back in school to become a construction manager, supporting himself by working part-time at the Shutterbug camera store. He hopes to make photography a fiscal part of his life, but in the meantime is content to explore all the ‘wild places’ in the North Bay within 30 minutes of civilization.

Photograph by Nik Catalina

‘New Year’s Day, 2004’
Cotati contractor Nik Catalina took this shot last Jan. 1 of the eastern hills near where the Crane Canyon and Bennett Valley roads run away from Cotati.

Honorable Mention

Photograph by Gence Alton

‘Pt. Reyes’
Santa Rosa resident Gence Alton caught the long, blonde beauty of the Pt. Reyes National Seashore, and also actually photographed a person, making this a double-header.

From the December 22-28, 2004 issue of the North Bay Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Briefs

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Briefs

Webb of Conspiracy

A memorial service for former San Jose Mercury News reporter Gary Webb was held Saturday, Dec. 18. Webb, 49, was found dead on Dec. 10 at his home in the Sacramento area of gunshot wounds to the head, the victim of an apparent suicide. The prizewinning reporter was most noted for Dark Alliance: The CIA, the Contras and the Crack Cocaine Explosion, first published by the Mercury News in 1996, and later–after mainstream media sources trashed the series and the Merc disowned both the story and Webb–in book form. Because Webb’s work exposed the CIA’s willingness to work with Contras who were also known drug lords, his suicide has sent conspiracy theorists of all stripes into overdrive–surely Webb must have been taken out by agency hit-men. But From the Wilderness (FTW) founder Michael Ruppert, a friend of Webb’s who attended the memorial services with 300 others, cautions against such speculation. A former LAPD detective before starting the influential FTW website, Ruppert has interviewed Webb’s family members, examined the evidence and concluded that Webb’s death was indeed a suicide. “These are facts that cannot be faked unless one was to assume that Gary Webb was a willing conspirator in his own murder,” Ruppert says. “The fact of Gary Webb’s suicide is open and shut.”

Sky Writing

Look up in the sky! What’s that funny looking cloud? For the past several months, Santa Rosa reader Barry Henshaw has been calling the Bohemian offices and asking just that. At issue are so-called chemtrails, as opposed to the normal-looking contrails formed by jet aircraft exhaust when water vapor condenses at high altitude. According to Henshaw, paranormal radio host Art Bell and a gaggle of websites dedicated to the subject, chemtrails–unusual looking contrails that seem to expand rather than dissipate–may be part of a secret government conspiracy to alter the weather, inoculate the unwitting or even control population growth. “Who knows?” says Henshaw, who reports that there were so many chemtrails in the Sonoma County sky on Thursday, Dec. 16, that callers jammed the switchboards on one local talk-radio program. Is the government secretly spreading chemicals on its constituents? Nonsense, says a 2000 fact sheet on chemtrails issued jointly by the Environmental Protection Agency, NASA, the Federal Aviation Administration and the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration. But then again, those guys don’t believe in UFOs, either.

From the December 22-28, 2004 issue of the North Bay Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Just Desserts

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Just Desserts

Surprise and delight friends and family with a special–OK, raw–cake this holiday

By Ella Lawrence

The image that most readily pops to my mind when envisioning a “raw foodist” is that of a grouchy, low-blood-sugar hippie with a skewed perception of health and nutrition, and some sort of hemp garment twined around his or her emaciated middle. As fadlike as raw foodism may seem, the carrot-crunchers who practice what is called “living nutrition” are among the healthiest and most energetic people this skeptic has ever met.

But if burritos are out, what, then, does a raw foodist eat? As Marie Antoinette herself might have said: Everything, particularly cake. But before skipping directly to dessert, here’s some metaphoric meat.

The basic tenet behind raw foodism is that heating any food above 118 degrees Fahrenheit will cause the enzymes in it to cease activity. This means the pancreas must provide its own digestive enzymes, thus slowing the entire digestive process. Therefore, raw-foodists keep their heating (and freezing) to a minimum and their organs relaxing to the maximum.

If going whole-TVP-hog doesn’t sound appealing, simply sprouting seeds and grains at home and adding them to your diet is an excellent way to maximize food’s nutrition. A sprout (a tiny, complete version of the whole plant) increases in nutritional content as it grows: a sprouted pea has four times the amount of vitamin C as a dried pea. Soaking seeds and nuts before sprouting them releases enzyme inhibitors that have been stored in the plant while it is dried, and make the food more easily digestible.

A raw-foods diet, if done properly, is far from lacking in nutrients or noshability. Avocados provide plenty of essential fatty acids, as do almonds and other nuts. Tomatoes and citrus fruits are powerhouses of vitamin C, and sprouted lentils, quinoa and beans can have more protein than red meat. Sea vegetables such as kombu (kelp) and nori (the stuff that gets wrapped around sushi) are well-known ways to get B vitamins and iron; most health food stores sell such vita-rich lesser-known seaweed as wakame as well. There is even raw food “junk food” on the market; several companies (such as Govindas, out of San Diego) produce such packaged delicacies as Bliss Bars, Hemp Bars and cracker-like snacks.

For an easy treat, Mark M. Braunstein’s mostly raw cookbook Sprout Garden: Indoor Grower’s Guide to Gourmet Sprouts gives a tasty recipe for raw falafel. Chop a handful of buckwheat sprouts, a carrot, some parsley, a tablespoon of tahini, a small handful of sunflower seeds and a teaspoon of curry spices together in a food processor. Shape into balls and dry in the sun until firm. Serve this Eastern treat over salad greens with fresh-squeezed lemon juice as a dressing.

If you’ve got a sweet tooth that suffers without pie, try mashing dates and wheat sprouts together for a crust and filling with a mixture of chopped strawberries, blueberries and honey to taste. Savor a slice with a glass of raw “milk”: one cup of almonds, soaked overnight and blended with four cups of water, then strained and refrigerated. Shake it up before you drink it.

But if you’ve got a sweet tooth that suffers without cake, all is well. The following recipe, adapted from Nomi Shannon’s book, The Raw Gourmet, may not at first seem simple, but have faith. This rich, delicious cake makes a festive addition to the holiday table and is a yummy way to introduce chary friends and relatives to the world of raw-foodism.

Carrot Cake

This recipe calls for both a juicer with blank screen–a fixture that fits over the metal screen of a juicer and essentially turns it into a mini-Cuisinart–and a traditional food processor. How the raw foodists of 10,000 years ago got along without such appliances is stunning!

Give yourself plenty of time to assemble this cake, gathering the ingredients together first and enjoying the exertion of its creation. For the carrot pulp that is the heart of this cake, first indulge in some fresh juice and save pulp in advance. The cake can be made one or two days in advance and refrigerated. It’s malleable consistency allows it to easily be formed into any shape, whether a traditional-looking two-layer round cake with frosting between layers, or cut into the form of a Christmas tree or star on a large platter and frosted on top.

For the frosting
2 c. raw cashews
8-13 medjool dates, pitted
1 tbsp. vanilla

In blender, blend the cashews with just enough water to allow blender to run. When paste is smooth, add in dates and chop until sweetened to taste. Add vanilla and pulse until mixed. Set aside.

For the cake
1/2 c. raisins, soaked in warm sherry to cover for 20 minutes, reserve liquid
1/2 c. dried apricots, soaked in warm sherry to cover, 20 minutes
2 c. walnuts
2 tbsp. pine nuts
1 1/2 c. dried, unsweetened, shredded coconut
1 tsp. cinnamon
1/4 tsp. Chinese 5 spice powder
1/2 tsp. garam masala or cinnamon
optional pinch of clove
optional pinch of nutmeg
6 c. carrot pulp
1 1/2 c. roughly chopped pitted dates

In the food processor: combine pecans and pine nuts. Process until uniformly fine. Add coconut, pulse until mixed in. Add spices, pulse until mixed, set aside. In a juicer fitted with a blank, alternate carrot pulp, raisins, apricots and dates through. Add reserved sherry. Knead until mixture is evenly combined. Add in nut mixture a little at a time, kneading it in.

For a traditional two-tiered cake, oil and line two round cake pans with plastic wrap. Put mixture in pans, pack in. Refrigerate until ready to frost.

The cakes will be moist but firm. When ready to serve, carefully de-pan onto plate as you would an “ordinary” cooked cake. Enjoy!

From the December 22-28, 2004 issue of the North Bay Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

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Photograph by Craig Davis'End Times'Craig Davis, who works as a Buckelew Programs' independent-living-skills counselor helping the disabled homeless transition to housing, took this photo of an unidentified man while waiting in line to see 'Fahrenheit 9/11' at the Rialto Lakeside Cinemas. The man, evidently rallying a cause close to theatergoers' hearts, only allowed Davis to take the shot after...

Briefs

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