The Bad Kissers

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Photograph by Chandra Farnham

Power Pop: Ash Scheiding, right, lets it rip.

Makin’ Out

Bad Kissers pucker up to good pop

By Gabe Meline

Before I ever saw the Bad Kissers, I kept hearing that they were some kind of ’80s revival band, complete with synthesizers and Heart-style harmonies. As the band’s soon-to-be-released debut album, We Were Here Once as Friends (FunRun), shows, the rumor is mostly true. What’s funny, though, is that no one in the Bad Kissers–on the cusp of a West Coast tour–has ever heard of the ’80s group they’re opening for in San Francisco.

“I think you’re the only one we’ve talked to so far,” remarks keyboardist Niki Marie, “who’s ever heard of Gene Loves Jezebel.”

The Bad Kissers practice in a tiny room in an old Victorian house in downtown Santa Rosa. The closet is filled not with clothes but with guitar cases and a battered keyboard. The built-in hutch holds extra extension cords and guitar cables. It’s so cramped in here that bassist Anne Ostrowski has to perch on top of her amplifier. From my low vantage point, I have an unusually keen view of the Bad Kissers’ footwear, ranging from white penny loafers to black socks to bare feet.

As the band rehearse, I realize why the Bad Kissers have played so many house parties: it is because nowhere do they sound more like the perfect rock and roll band than in a small, overcrowded bedroom. In larger venues, the band have yet to live up to the majesty that their music requires, but if you want the real deal, invite the Bad Kissers over to play in your laundry room.

Singer and guitarist Ash Scheiding has lived in this house for three years now, and settling into the couch to chat after practice, she feels completely at home. “This house has been through so many people and so many crazy times and events,” she explains. “I’ve learned almost everything that I’ve needed to learn in my adult life at this house.”

Indeed, almost every time I’ve ever stopped by, the porch has been full of people hanging out. I first met Scheiding in her days with Escape Engine, a local band that eventually changed their name to Fight Like Fight, recorded an album and promptly broke up. Scheiding wasted no time putting together a new band, and she had a few ideas about what she wanted to be different.

“I knew I wanted something else besides just guitars,” she says, referring to the Bad Kissers’ synthesizer-driven sound. “I also wanted to be a lot more vocal-based with more harmonies, and having females in the band, I thought, was really important.” Her new band’s lineup is predominantly female, and the working environment, Scheiding says, is much more fluid.

It shows. Whereas Fight Like Fight’s music seemed overly centered on feeding the band members’ various short attention spans with too many changes and quirky time signatures, the Bad Kissers know that musicianship isn’t the only key to being a good band. “There’s nothing like a good pop song,” Scheiding gushes, “no matter how technical or talented you are.”

What has remained, to great effect, in the new band is Scheiding’s expressive lyrics and her bone-chilling, dynamic vocals; when Scheiding opens her mouth to sing, you’re as likely to get a soft, sweet sound as you are to get the vocal equivalent of an attacking cobra.

“I realized in high school that I didn’t want to sing in ‘church voice’ anymore, that I wanted to really use my voice,” she says. “A lot of female vocalists, especially in the indie rock scene, just don’t hammer it that hard vocally, and that’s just boring for me.”

After a short tour, the Bad Kissers return to celebrate the release of We Were Here Once as Friends at the Phoenix Theater, and to further endure the never-ending questions about the band’s name. Are the Bad Kissers, everyone wants to know, actually bad kissers?

The answer is no, not really: they’re disastrous kissers. Believe me, I’ve seen the photos.

The Bad Kissers perform with Polar Bears, We Attack at Dawn, Hijack the Disco and With Eyes Like Static on Saturday, Jan. 22, at the Phoenix Theater. 201 Washington St., Petaluma. $6. 8pm. 707.762.3565.

From the January 19-25, 2005 issue of the North Bay Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

The Byrne Report

The Byrne Report

Dharma Crumbs

A FEW MILES NORTH of Sebastopol is a restored farmhouse fronted by a Buddhist shrine sparkling with tiny mirrors. This is the home of retired Burmese physician Dr. Thynn Thynn and the Sae Taw Winn II Foundation, of which she is the spiritual leader. It is one of the few locally based organizations collecting money for victims of the Indian Ocean tsunami.

Specifically, Thynn is funneling the $10,000 in small donations she has so far raised to her Buddhist colleague in Sri Lanka, A. T. Ariyaratne. Ariyaratne is the spiritual leader of a popular movement called Sarvodaya in the Democratic Socialist Republic of Sri Lanka. With 30,000 people dead and a million displaced, that island nation was the second hardest hit by the tidal wave after Sumatra. Sarvodaya volunteers have fanned out to provide relief in Tamil Eelam, the northern part of the country, where at least 10,000 people drowned.

While Thynn’s 10 grand may not seem like much, small donations could make the difference between economic independence or being overwhelmed by another kind of tsunami: the World Bank and the International Monetary Fund.

“We need development from the grassroots level up, without these huge corporations that come in and make prototypes of Western industrialization in the Third World,” Thynn says. “I think it is, really, almost a crime.”

For two decades, the minority Tamils–who are mostly Hindu–have fought a civil war with their Sinhalan neighbors to the south, who are mostly Buddhist and have governed the former British colony since the end of WW II. The Liberation Tigers of Tamil Eelam–famous for their ferocity in battle–desire to separate their ancient nation from the neocolonial construct called Sri Lanka. The rebels are concerned that the central government will shortchange them on relief funding, and use the disaster as an opportunity to oppress them.

Thynn supports Sarvodaya because she is a yogi in Ariyaratne’s brand of religion, called Theravada Buddhism, and in favor of his mission to heal the murderous rift between north and south. Ariyaratne, who helped to broker the civil war’s current ceasefire, originally won the trust of the Tamils by working with thousands of small villages to build self-sustaining communities.

The United States government does not subscribe to the Theravadan principles of dana (generosity) and metta (nonviolence). It also considers the Tamil Tigers to be an illegal terrorist organization. Not surprisingly, the U.S. Agency for International Development is working with the Sinhalese military, coordinating its $37 million relief effort under the umbrella of the largest mobilization of warships and American soldiers seen in South East Asia since the Vietnam War.

According to the U.S. Department of State, we have so far committed only $78 million to humanitarian assistance in the tsunami-affected region, which the U.S. views as a hotbed of revolution. Eager to garrison the Indian Ocean rim, Bush is directing that most of the $350 million pledged to date by the U.S. be used for long-term reconstruction, not emergency relief. “We should look at redevelopment loans,” said Secretary of State Colin Powell as he toured the area.

Bingo. Teams of World Bank and IMF officials popped up, ready to loan billions of “redevelopment” dollars to nations already impoverished by outstanding “development” loans. (Sri Lanka’s public debt, for example, exceeds its gross domestic product.)

Viewing satellite photographs of devastated tourist resorts and thousands of miles of coastlands, rich in natural resources, ports and cheap labor–it is not hard to predict what happens next. American and British corporations will descend upon Indonesia, Thailand, India and Sri Lanka like locusts. Since tens of thousands of property owners and their heirs were swept away by the waves, Westerners will snatch up the choice lands. The modus operandi of relief, American-style, guarantees that local bureaucracies will funnel their World Bank loan proceeds to the usual “reconstruction” suspects: Bechtel, Halliburton, Bearing Point, Louis Berger Group and Perini Corporation.

It took a few days for the light bulb to explode inside Bush’s head so he could see the upside to the tsunami–trading a trickle of relief for geopolitical gain and profits for his coalition of the killing, which is experiencing technical difficulties in Iraq. With no superpower to oppose them this time, U.S. leaders have a chance to indulge their dream of ringing the Indian Ocean with military bases and debt-dependent dictators. As in Vietnam and Iraq and Afghanistan, they will fail to achieve their grand goal of everlasting empire, but not before adding to the already intolerable burden of suffering.

“My small operation is a sesame seed compared to the tsunami,” says Thynn. “But I could not do nothing.” Unlike war, she says, a natural disaster breaks down the borders between peoples. But the yogi is not bullish on American compassion. She knows who to blame for the desperate condition of the world’s vast majority, as much as a Buddhist blames anyone.

From the January 12-18, 2005 issue of the North Bay Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

‘Bohemian Petaluma’

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Photograph by Michael Goldberg

Enjoy Canada: ‘Jez’ is among Goldberg’s older, and more smiley, subjects.

Addicted to Joys

Rock writer Michael Goldberg turns his eye to new challenges

By Gretchen Giles

“Most of the photographs I’ve taken have been of rock stars,” says Michael Goldberg with complete modesty. Seated in the back of Petaluma’s Deaf Dog coffee shop on a recent winter morning, Goldberg is frequently hailed by the cafe’s regulars, the spiked and tattooed out-of-school crowd who could perhaps themselves be mistaken for rock stars. “Hey man,” says a sweet-faced youth of about 20, approaching the table. “Do you know Photoshop?” Goldberg smiles patiently and nods yes. “Well, could you, um, Photoshop out that cigarette I’m holding? My mom comes in here a lot.”

“Let’s just call it a prop,” Goldberg laughs.

Yet another reason not to smoke: the young man’s portrait is one of 20 photographs that Goldberg is exhibiting through mid-March at Deaf Dog under the title “Bohemian Petaluma.” But he probably needn’t worry about Goldberg’s abilities with Photoshop. After all, Goldberg has been at the cutting edge of technology since this new smoker was beginning fourth grade.

A senior writer and editor for Rolling Stone magazine for a decade, Goldberg walked away from print journalism in 1994, bankrolling himself for a $5,000 chance at a new opportunity then more laboriously known as the World Wide Web. Appropriating a room in his San Francisco home as an office, Goldberg used his $5k to start one of the first, and ultimately one of the most influential, music magazines ever to appear on the net: Addicted to Noise. What’s more, unlike any other Internet publication you might be able to name, ATN made money. Lots of it.

“At one point, I think we had 65 people on our editorial staff,” Goldberg, 51, remembers. “I had at least 10 editors just for the niche genres like hip-hop, folk and jazz music.”

A leader in streaming audio and video over the Internet, ATN also introduced a 24-hour rock-music news channel that was syndicated to hundreds of other sites and championed indie artists. Tall, thin and unassuming when seated over a cup of herb tea and plain toasted bagel, Goldberg was hailed as an “Internet visionary” in 1996 by Newsweek. In addition to editing ATN and acting as senior vice president on its business side, Goldberg continued to hone his love of photography, shooting stills and videos of such artists as Patti Smith, Neil Young, Sleater-Kinney and Ani DiFranco. More recently, San Francisco-based singer-songwriter Jolie Holland used one of Goldberg’s portraits of her as the cover for her single “Sasha.”

Of course, all the usual dotcom unraveling happened, with ATN being sold to a larger company which itself was sold to another, all of which were eventually subsumed by MTV. Goldberg got out just after the bubble burst in the spring of 2000. “It was a frantic time of information overload,” he says, describing himself as a former Blackberry-wielding type who was on the cell phone from the minute he backed out of the driveway each morning. “While it was happening, it was totally great.”

But then it wasn’t happening anymore, and Goldberg and his wife, Leslie, impulsively moved to the town of Sonoma, a place she’d never even been to and he’d only visited twice.

Goldberg discovered the funky environs of Deaf Dog while waiting each Saturday morning for Leslie to finish a morning class at the SRJC Petaluma campus. Taking a photography class at the campus himself, he found himself unable to complete an assignment, shooting desultory pictures of antiques and hating the results. He slowly realized that the patrons who frequent Deaf Dog interested him hugely.

“A lot of the people I photograph remind me of myself and my friends when we were in our teens and in college,” Goldberg says. “I think that they are doing their best to be themselves, to be individuals, to not conform to the straight world. In a way, that’s my romantic vision of what bohemian Petaluma is.” He began approaching other customers and asking them to pose for him.

The resulting shots offer a slice of late-adolescent life in western Petaluma, gorgeous brooding youth with something darker in their eyes. “I think that there’s a lot of angst–not just when one is young–throughout people’s lives, and that’s one of the things I’m drawn to,” Goldberg explains softly. “It’s not that I don’t like pictures of people smiling, I’m just trying to show something real.”

‘Bohemian Petaluma’ exhibits Jan. 15-March 15 at Deaf Dog Coffee. A reception is slated for Saturday, Jan. 15, from 6pm to 8pm. Free. 134 Petaluma Blvd. N., Petaluma. 707.762.3656.

From the January 12-18, 2005 issue of the North Bay Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

‘The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou’

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Going Down: An all-star cast flirts with strangeness in ‘The Life Aquatic.’

Go Fish

Marine biologist Christina Slager dives into ‘The Life Aquatic’

By David Templeton

In its ongoing quest for the ultimate postfilm conversation, Talking Pictures takes interesting people to interesting movies.

“I remember going to the Oregon Coast Museum to interview for a job once, back when they still had [Free Willy‘s] Keiko there,” says marine biologist Christina Slager, the husbandry curator at the Monterey Bay Aquarium. “So I went over to meet the marine mammal trainers,” Slager continues, “and I went to this little stadium office, which had this giant window looking right into this big whale tank. So I’m sitting there talking to these guys, and suddenly there’s Keiko with his nose up against the glass, kind of like he was saying, ‘Hey! What’s going on in there?’ and making all these faces at me. It was very funny.”

This warm cetacean memory has been jogged up from Slager’s unconscious courtesy of The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, a charming yet patently odd film in which Bill Murray leads a motley band of marine documentarians on a quest to kill the phantom jaguar shark that ate his moviemaking partner, Esteban. The film contains a scene in which Murray gives an interview while a frisky orca performs an increasingly conspicuous string of showoff maneuvers–swimming backwards, swimming sideways, swimming upside down–in the picture window behind his desk.

“I liked the showoff orca,” Slager allows. “But, wow, was that a strange film or what?”

Let the record show: The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou, while crammed with charming moments and inspired bits of underwater merriment, is a very strange film. As Slager puts it, “It was a lot of fun mixed in with a whole bunch of ‘Huh?’ and ‘What?'”

“I liked it for the weird sea creatures,” I confess.

“Did you?” Slager replies. In The Life Aquatic, except for the orca and a few other critters, the underwater animals are all fanciful creations brought to life using stop-motion animation. They include such fictional but convincingly titled sea beasties as crayon ponyfish, sugar crabs, hummingbird fish and rhinestone tuna. There are also some intelligence-challenged albino scout dolphins and a herd of headgear-bedecked research turtles.

“So, you didn’t like the sea creatures?” I ask Slager.

“Well, I kind of liked them,” she allows, “but they just seemed curiously out of place. This whole movie seemed like bits and pieces and little vignettes from different things all thrown together.”

That said, Slager enjoyed the animated porcupine fish that the team discovers inside a downed airplane. “Porcupine fish inflate just like that,” she says, “and that’s exactly how their little spines come up. It was quite realistic. And I did like the rhinestone tuna. The tuna was accurate enough–of course, they don’t really come with rhinestones. I guess the fake fish were kind of cool.

“I was bothered when he put the crayon ponyfish in the wineglass,” she continues. “When Murray is trying to carry it away, the plastic bag it was in springs a leak. I couldn’t get past thinking, ‘Where’s the air supply?’ But that whole experience of being given a fish in a plastic bag, that’s something magical to me. As a kid, didn’t you end up buying or winning goldfish in a bag? Who hasn’t experienced that? A fish in a bag–it’s a wonderful thing.”

The more we discuss the film, the more Slager recalls things she enjoyed.

“Did you catch when the jellyfish washed up on shore and they were filming it?” she wonders, “and Murray is saying, ‘This is the rare rubber tide,’ playing off the phrase ‘red tide’–a term used to describe toxic algae blooms that can turn the sea red. I thought that was pretty entertaining,” she smiles.

“There were a lot of those little gibes at marine biology and oceanography. The unpaid interns–always referred to that way, as ‘unpaid interns’–that was very funny. We have unpaid interns at the aquarium, of course. Every aquarium I’ve ever worked at has had unpaid interns, though we don’t tend to call them that to their face, and I don’t think,” she laughs, “that I’ve ever asked one to make me a Campari.”

From the January 12-18, 2005 issue of the North Bay Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Briefs

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Briefs

Inaugural Bollocks

Barring divine intervention–highly unlikely, considering God is on his side–President George W. Bush will be sworn in for his second term on Thursday, Jan. 20. But there’s no reason to take it lying down, except of course for those who join the Not One Damn Dime Day protest on Jan. 20. Organized anonymously over the Internet, the protest urges citizens to spend “not one damn dime for anything for 24 hours” to demonstrate against the Bush administration and the Iraq war. Are such boycotts effective? “Probably not,” concludes the debunking squad at Snopes.com. “[I]n this case, our opinion is that someone has taken the futile concept of slacktivism to a new extreme.” At least it’s cheap.

Slippery In Sebastopol

As recently reported in these pages, ( Dec. 8, 2004), a study commissioned by Rohnert Park found abundant supplies of groundwater in the region, despite reports from homeowners surrounding the city that their wells are being sucked dry. Now a similar study has surfaced in Sebastopol, where residents living outside that city’s limits have reported well problems. Could the culprit be the Sonoma County Water Agency’s three so-called emergency wells in the Laguna de Santa Rosa area east of Sebastopol, which daily draw four times the amount of groundwater that Sebastopol extracts? Hard to say, since the report, by city engineer Susan Kelly, didn’t study the effect the wells might be having on local groundwater supplies outside city limits. That was just one of many glaring omissions found in the report by the Sebastopol Water Information Group (SWIG). “The report’s conclusion that there is no water crisis facing the city is wholly unsupported by adequate data or analysis,” says SWIG’s Jan Nielson, a retired U.S. Geology Survey geologist. “The problems with the report reinforce SWIG’s contention that Sebastopol has an information crisis.”

Clean Genes

The North Bay is one step closer to being a region free of genetically manipulated organisms now that volunteers for GE-Free Sonoma County have collected 45,387 signatures, more than enough to place the organization’s petition for a moratorium on genetically engineered crops on the next ballot, either late this spring or in the fall. If passed, Sonoma County would join Marin and Mendocino Counties, which have already passed similar measures, creating the largest GE-free zone in the United States.

From the January 12-18, 2005 issue of the North Bay Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Music Activism

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Cabana Boys: Fat Mike and the lads have some fun.

Get Up, Stand Up

Music activism didn’t stop with Nov. 2

By Karl Byrn

OK, so we lost the presidential election. By “we,” I mean the one out of every two Americans who understands that justifying such waste as the Iraq war and deep tax cuts for the megawealthy is grossly unsound double-speak. By “we,” I mean the 70 percent of Americans who recent polls now show believe that the Iraq war is a mistake, a majority that’s up from 48 percent a mere six months ago.

But what I mostly mean by “we” are the participants in the culture of rock and pop music, where a huge swell of anti-Bush campaigning–rock’s biggest spike in activism since the mid-’80s benefit craze–was 2004’s musical trend of the year. Dozens of anti-Dubya discs hit the shelves from diverse music genres and from major and indie labels alike. Big-name mainstream acts toured swing states in pro-Kerry fundraisers. The movement preached the theme of Bush as a lying, antipeople, pro-corporate elitist. Some of the music was fact-based, some full of artistic license, some thumped for leftist and mainstream organizations. Mostly, these efforts championed the theme of getting out an alternative vote.

The surge in young voter turnout this fall indicates that the momentum of rock’s renewed activism has the power to stay strong. It’s important for the progressive music community to remember that the 2004 right-wing election victories were slim. The unbalanced ills created by the Bush administration will inevitably spiral into greater public dissent, and thus rock’s activism will continue, facing multiple challenges. But to stay on track for real reform, it’s essential for rock and pop musicians to shift from election-based activism to issue-based activism.

If all the punks, rappers, folkies, DJs, indie- and major-label acts who were so inspired to rally against reelecting Bush could redirect their energies into fighting for alternative policies, there might be progress yet. Fat Mike of the Northern California punk stalwarts NOFX could continue his Rock against Bush series of contemporary punk collections as a set of Rock against the Iraq War presentations (which would likely be an unfortunately long series). Bruce Springsteen, Dave Matthews, Pearl Jam, the Dixie Chicks, R.E.M. and their mainstream friends could revisit their Vote for Change tour to rally voter support for the ongoing battles over healthcare reform, workers’ rights, reproductive rights and the rebuilding of public education.

One example of musicians’ efforts that are focused on actual issues is the new short video Everybody In, Nobody Out, available from the music activist organization Rock A Mole Productions (Rock A Mole rhymes with “guacamole”). The film is a call for a universal healthcare system, a concept that polls show almost two-thirds of Americans favor. Blending speakers, backstage interviews and concert footage (jazz-blues psychedelic funk from the group Yayojones) from a recent Southern California rally for the California Nurses Association, the film suggests a natural connection between musicians and the struggle for healthcare reform.

Everybody In, Nobody Out points out that in a profession where health insurance is nonexistent or ridiculously costly (80 percent of the members of the entertainer’s union AFTRA aren’t eligible for coverage), musicians already do over 1,000 medical benefits nationally each week for other musicians. Without laying out a road map, the film proposes that if these efforts could all come together in a larger cause, a musicians’ rally to affect a reinvention of our medical system would make those 1,000 weekly benefits unnecessary.

In 2002, Rock A Mole made The Ultimate Song, a film about issue-based music activism featuring such notable artists like Springsteen, Ice-T, Jackson Browne, Tom Morello and Steve Earle in a look at the connection between music and activism in the ranks of the poor. They also regularly produce cultural festivals promoting the music, art and poetry of disadvantaged artists.

With Everybody In, Nobody Out, the musicians at Rock A Mole have also made the important implication that grassroots work for music activists shouldn’t end with the election year or elected officials. The film insists that musicians continue to be a loud voice for popular ideals. Everybody In, Nobody Out is a forward-looking reminder that the campaign that continues really isn’t about Bush vs. Kerry, or Republicans vs. Democrats–it’s about uniting for changes that benefit a greater community.

For more information on Rock A Mole Productions, visit the organization’s website at www.rockamole.com.

From the January 12-18, 2005 issue of the North Bay Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Black Holes

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Photograph by Rory McNamara

Eyes on the Sky: SSU physics professor Dr. Lynn Cominsky and the new Pepperwood observatory.

Black Hole Beacons

Local physicist Dr. Lynn Cominsky charts the big bangs that lead to black holes

By Chip McAuley

Western creation myths vary in what they tell us about how the universe and the world began. The most familiar, perhaps, is that the heavens and earth were created in less than a week (with a day off for good behavior). Some tell us that our universe emerged out of nothingness or chaos, a really big egg or, perhaps, a dream. Modern science, however, says the universe began 13.7 billion years ago with the big bang, a cosmic orgasm of sorts that created the entire universe–a universe that continues to expand.

Whichever myth may be true, it is irrefutable that out there in the cosmos, the banging hasn’t stopped. Now Sonoma State University physicist Dr. Lynn Cominsky, chair of the physics and astronomy department, and her cadre of NASA-funded star trekkers are about to mourn the demise of the very first stars created in the universe. Flaming out in spectacular super-supernovae, or hypernovae, called gamma ray bursts (GRBs)–the biggest explosions in the universe since the big bang–these celestial events create one of the most mysterious and compelling phenomena in creation: black holes.

Gamma ray bursts last between only two and 30 seconds and are thought to occur when stars 100 times the size of our sun die. The closest observed GRB was around 1 billion light years away; the farthest, 12 billion. With the universe now aged to a 13.7 billion-year perfection, scientists plan to use the $250 million Swift Observatory–launched in Houston this Nov. 22 and named for having the speed necessary to capture data on such short-lived explosions–to discover, among other things, the fate of the very first stars. It is a voyage not only to the edges of the known universe, but to a time more distant than the human mind can comprehend.

Through the NASA-funded Education and Public Outreach (E/PO) program run by Cominsky at SSU, her team of local scientists provides vital information on the project to other scientists, the media and the public. They now have the opportunity to discover a black hole or two themselves at the California Academy of Sciences’ newly built robotic observatory at the Pepperwood National Preserve in Santa Rosa.

The NASA E/PO building on the SSU campus is nestled in a virtually secret locale. There, Cominsky and her team plot the course for outreach for the next generation of NASA projects, make mission proposals and do active research. There’s a real Contact vibe to the room–an observer half expects Jodie Foster to rush in at any minute and make some startling revelation. The similarities are, in fact, uncanny.

“Except we’re not sending someone through an interdimensional portal to the other side of the universe,” says education program manager Sarah Silva.

At least, not until more NASA funding arrives.

“This is the realization of a life’s dream,” says student Sean Greenwalt, “I wanted to do science since before I could articulate.”

“It’s a lot of fun to help design educational materials linked with missions,” says fellow student Logan Hill. “I think it’s really cool–I’m working for NASA.”

A Life in the Stars

Being a space case is nothing new for Cominsky, who in 1970 was involved with the Uhuru project, the very first X-ray satellite ever launched. She grew up reading science fiction authors such as Isaac Asimov, Harlan Ellison, Robert A. Heinlein and Philip K. Dick, and–of course–loving Star Trek. In fact, a model she made of the Starship Enterprise NCC-1701-D hangs above her desk in the E/PO office.

Such inspirational sci-fi authors and series have been responsible for launching more than one scientist’s career and remain an example of how the science fiction of yesterday becomes the science of today through the work of scientists like Cominsky. Indeed, she came to an exciting realization early on in her scientific career–one that astounded even her.

“Someone’s going to pay me to do science fiction for a living,” she remembers marveling when she became a physicist. Since then she’s discovered pulsars and X-ray bursts, written 50 published scientific papers in peer-reviewed journals and taught thousands of physics students. In addition to currently heading the E/PO program, she serves as deputy press secretary for the American Astronomical Society.

While it may be initially puzzling to figure out what the connection is between Sonoma County and NASA, the answer is surprisingly simple: Cominsky. Having been a professor at SSU for 19 years (spending the first 15 years in research mode), Cominsky has pushed her program forward from a smallish $50,000 annual budget to the current $1.3 million needed to accomplish its mission.

Even Harvard University, she says, has asked her team do its space outreach. The group’s biggest project is the Gamma Ray Large Area Space Telescope, due for launch in 2007 in collaboration with Stanford University. Cominsky’s most recently completed outreach project supported the launch of the Swift Observatory mission in a collaboration between NASA and the British and Italian space agencies.

“The launch was filmed by Thomas Lucas Productions for use in a PBS Nova show slated to air in 2006 and tentatively titled “Black Holes: The Other Side of Infinity,” Cominsky says. “Part of the PBS special is a planetarium show being developed in partnership with the Denver Museum of Nature and Science. Both will feature the Swift launch as well as detailed simulations that allow the viewer to feel as though they are taking a trip into a black hole.”

Far-reaching in their efforts, Cominsky’s E/PO team look forward to a future when they can participate in even more missions exploring cosmic conundrums. And of course, there’s also the more mundane.

“I give a lecture called ‘Things My Mother Never Told Me about the Universe,'” Cominsky chuckles, explaining that her interest was piqued when her mother took her girl scout troop out stargazing one night. Such humble beginnings, however, led her eventually to Brandeis University and the Massachusetts Institute of Technology for a Ph.D.

Between universities and following her time on the Uhuru project, Cominsky worked at Harvard on what was then one of the most powerful computers in the world, the IBM 360–a computer that used punch cards and was less powerful than any single desktop computer currently in her office.

While that computer monolith seems laughable now, it nonetheless proved to be the great scientific leap that would one day allow Cominsky’s colleague Tim Graves to construct the entire Pepperwood robotic observatory from scratch.

What’s it like building a space observatory from the ground up?

“Cold in the morning. Hot in the afternoon. And wet when it rains,” says the jocular Graves. “It was a lot of fun. I feel kind of sad now that it’s complete,” he says of the observatory, which is named GORT after the robot in the film The Day the Earth Stood Still.

“GORT will also monitor jets of light streaming out of supermassive black holes billions of times as massive as our sun.,” Cominsky explains. “These monsters are the prime targets for observations.”

According to Graves, GORT can “think for itself,” noting that once the robotic telescope receives notification of a celestial event, the dome opens automatically, the camera is turned on and scientists receive e-mail notification.

Furthermore, Graves says, “The program is accessible to any person in the world who has an Internet connection,” as the Global Telescope Network site is online at http://gtn.sonoma.edu.

Sky Map: Somewhere in the universe each day, a black hole is born, its arrival heralded by the ‘scream’ of a gamma ray burst. This map depicts a day in the life of the universe.

Hypernovas Near Home?

The two leading theories of the hypernova debate, according to Cominsky, say that either these tremendous explosions come from the deaths of very big stars or result from the decaying orbits of neutron stars finally colliding in a colossal explosion just reaching Earth now after billions of years.

What if scientists are wrong? What if a GRB happened for an altogether different reason–and close to our dear planet Earth?

“It would vaporize the entire planet instantly,” chimes in Dr. Phil Plait, author of Bad Astronomy and a member of Cominsky’s team.

Not to worry.

“All the leading theories propose that GRBs are beacons for black holes,” says Cominsky. This means they must come as the result of the death of massive stars far larger than Sol. “And we don’t see any massive stars in our local stellar neighborhood that could produce GRBs in the near future,” she assures.

But what could GRBs mean for other possible planets and civilizations far older than Earth and our solar system? The question is compelling.

“There is evidence that one GRB was responsible for the Ordovician mass extinction about 440 million years ago,” says Cominsky. “It was the second-largest extinction in the earth’s history, the killing of two-thirds of all species, and could be the result of a GRB within 10,000 light years of Earth.”

First Stars, First Civilizations

With the discovery in the 1990s of the first planets outside our solar system, humanity’s timeless quest to find extraterrestrial life seemed one step closer to achievement. The SETI, or Search for Extraterrestrial Intelligence, project continues, as do conspiracy theories that aliens have already visited the planet and experimented on humans with anal probes and the like. Some theories even posit that ancient aliens once ruled the planet or helped create the human race.

Would 1.7 billion years be enough time for life to develop and flourish on a planet at some distant end of the galaxy, only to have Cominsky and her team witness its destruction 12 billion years later?

The first generation of stars, she says, were likely formed during the first few hundred thousand years of the universe. They lack heavy metal elements, with only hydrogen and helium existing at that point in time. Any planets formed during this period would likely not be the same as Earth. As Cominsky explains, there was no carbon, nitrogen or oxygen at this point in cosmic history. She and others hope to eventually get a glimpse back into these early days of the universe. “No one,” she says almost wistfully, “has ever seen the first generation of stars.” It is one of her team’s greatest hopes.

The second generation of stars offer all new possibilities to consider. “The supernova deaths create the elements needed for life,” she explains, adding that “there’s nothing to rule out” the chance that some of the stars she could be studying in the future may have had planets with intelligent life on them. Just because it took 5 billion years for our solar system to form, she says, doesn’t mean others could not have formed far earlier.

Though a theoretical calculation called the Drake equation estimates how many intelligent civilizations could exist in the universe, the question of how many civilizations and planets might accompany each hypernova explosion remains a mystery–at least for now.

Photograph by Aurore Simmonet

Birth of the Gamma: Active galactic nuclei such as this one depicted in an artist’s illustration, are the nursery of gamma rays, jets of matter and energy that stream outward from the depths of black holes.

Black Holes in a Black Sky

“Now that Swift is orbiting the earth, there are many opportunities for students and the general public to get involved in the chase to discover the newly born black holes that are created by GRBs,” Cominsky says.

At the Pepperwood robotic observatory, her group of scientists, aided by physics students, will reap the rewards of their outreach efforts. “If it’s dark outside and the bursts are in the right part of the sky, our telescope can get the positional information directly within a few seconds, and the robotic telescopes can point there right away. Then we can take the data, and project scientists are notified via e-mail, pager and telephone, and the information can then be analyzed somewhat later.”

If a hypernova happens at the right place and time, no one in the know should be surprised if Cominsky’s team of Einsteins in the making announces a series of startling new discoveries about the fate of GRBs and the black holes they create. Supported by NASA, it seems likely that significant figures in the next generation of cosmic exploration could come right here from Sonoma County. According to Cominsky, however, most people are shocked when they learn that NASA has placement at SSU. And though she feels blissfully overwhelmed most of the time, the future of the program, she assures, will be one of expansion–just like the universe itself.

“We’ve made a difference at the local, regional and national levels,” she says. “This program gives us a chance to connect to local high school students and research for college students.”

Hypernova: Hypernovae are possibly the biggest explosions in our universe since the big bang.

Dark Energy

Ultimately, what can be learned from the study of these big bangs–these GRBs–and the black holes that form in their wake? What about all this talk of the beginning of the universe, extraordinary explosions, black holes and looking back into the seemingly timeless universal past? Doesn’t it only lead to questions about how it will all end? Will everything just continue expanding until the universe burns itself out? Will the cosmos fall back in on itself in what some scientists call the “big crunch,” or will it surprise us with something totally different and as yet unimaginable?

Will space research finally allow us to explore the universe through interdimensional portals or unlock the secrets of time travel in order to witness the universe of ancient (or future) days? Sometimes it seems as if nothing is out of reach when mind and money combine in the right hands–and in a brilliant scientific and poetic spirit.

For now, perhaps the physicist will have to give way to the poet. After all this, Robert Frost may have known best in his poem “Fire and Ice,” when he wrote, “Some say the world will end in fire, / Some say in ice. / From what I’ve tasted of desire / I hold with those who favor fire. / But if it were to perish twice, / I think I know enough of hate / To say that for destruction ice / Is also great / And would suffice.”

Cominsky agrees with Frost–at least about the ice.

“As to the end of the universe,” she says, “Most believe that dark energy is causing the expansion of the universe to accelerate, and therefore we will end in ice, as everything gets farther apart and colder forever. But don’t worry, it won’t be for billions and billions of years.”

Perhaps poetry and physics are ultimately the same thing, and one day Cominsky’s students, or students of her students, may unlock the cosmic mystery that explains it all.

For more information on the E/PO program, visit http://epo.sonoma.edu. As part of the California Academy of Sciences Dean Lecture Series, Dr. Lynn Cominsky gives a presentation titled ‘Exploding Stars, Blazing Galaxies and Monstrous Black Holes: The Extreme Universe of Gamma-Ray Astronomy’ on Monday, Jan. 24, at Kanbar Hall in the San Francisco Jewish Community Center. 3200 California St., San Francisco. 7:30pm. $4. 415.321.8000.

From the January 12-18, 2005 issue of the North Bay Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Lean Cuisine

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Lean Cuisine

With the holidays finished, January looks like ham and beans

By Gretchen Giles

December passed swiftly in a Scharffen Berger-tinged haze as I vigorously ate my way through the long holiday. I realized that things had almost become quite enough when, on New Year’s Eve day, I had eaten a slice of homemade garlic pizza for breakfast, a thick piece of marzipan-draped princess cake with a glass of excellent red wine for lunch and had lapped up two thick bowls of lamb stew for dinner. While appreciating the dark poetic elements of this type of a month-long diet, I find that January has dimly dawned for such as myself, and it ain’t pretty.

Not only is the fridge hugely bare of such niceties as princess cake, the wallet is also ill-disposed to luxury–the wad, as it were, having been firmly shot last month. What does dominate the frigid insides, however, is the damned ham.

My mother likes to define eternity as being composed of two people and a ham. By such a definition, four people and a ham is more like a time-share in purgatory: it’s long and painful, but it does eventually end. January traditionally finds us ensconced in this chilly limbo as a free ham inevitably lands on our doorstep, the holiday bonus from a frugal employer to one of our ham-hating relatives.

As the spiral slices slowly diminish, the ham finally prepares to marry its natural partner in lean times and leftovers: dried beans. The household teenagers are by now so traumatized by repeated bean consumption that, one day last week when I was innocently pouring glass beads into a vase to weight it down, the beads tumbling with a sharp and familiar sound, they came screaming into the kitchen begging, “No beans! Please, no beans!” No, dear darling boys, no beans.

Not today, at least.

The next morning, I stealthily opened a package of mixed dried beans, laid the bag on the bottom of the stock pot and coaxed their noisy number out silently with my hands. By the time the young therapy candidates had arisen, the pot was boiling merrily away, and it was tough luck, too late and, of course–ha ha.

Among the first foodstuffs cultivated by early man, beans have been a mainstay of the human diet for at least the last 7,000 years. Discovered in Egyptian tombs and probably native to ancient Peru, beans traveled the globe in soldier’s satchels as a staple. One of the most nutritiously complete foods, beans provide more protein, iron, magnesium, zinc, potassium and soluble fiber all in one package than any other natural food. Two cups of cooked dried beans a day has been shown to help improve glucose imbalance in diabetics and to curtail cholesterol levels in all of us. And while they may be eaten at our house to stretch the dollar and the ham, once the general adolescent moaning has died down, everyone admits they’re pretty tasty, too.

Lower-Middle-Class Soup

I had been so proud of myself for conceiving my own wholly original soup recipe that I almost sobbed when I saw nearly the exact same cooking task executed recently in the New York Times under the title “Tenement Soup.”

It seems that the ingredients I had cobbled together on a budget and then served three nights running to four people (making for 12 meals, each costing roughly 54 triumphant cents a bowl) were a staple of immigrant families in Manhattan’s Lower East Side for generations after the rough trip through Ellis Island. One would guess, however, that spiral-sliced ham and cleaned, bagged greens were not yet invented, although Parmesan heartily had been, and a good grating of fresh Parm over this soup–along with boutique bread and passable wine (or vice versa)–makes for a warm and filling winter meal. Several, in fact.

1 pound mixed dried beans
1 bay leaf
1 clove garlic, peeled
1 pound country sausage
as much ham as you can stand (roughly 4 c., diced)
2 tbsp. olive oil
2 yellow onions, diced
1 clove garlic, minced
4 carrots, scrubbed clean and diced
10 c. beef or chicken broth
1 small can tomato paste
1 pound dried pasta, rotini or farfalle

2 pounds chopped assorted greens such as mustard greens, collard, chard, kale and even spinach (I like the expediency of buying Trader Joe’s Southern Greens mix and then just dumping the whole bag in)

Fresh grated Parmesan cheese to taste

At least five hours before the soup will be served, (quietly) pour the beans into a large pot. Cover with cold water, add the bay leaf and garlic clove and bring to a boil. Boil briefly for four to five minutes, then cover, remove from heat and let the beans soak. The longer they soak, the more gas will leave the bean and join the water; never reuse this water.

In a heavy skillet, briefly sauté the diced ham so that it browns. You may need to add some oil. Remove and drain on paper towels. Crumble the sausage meat into the same pan and cook until the nuggets of meat are browned. Remove and drain.

In a large, heavy soup pot, heat the olive oil until hot but not smoking. Add the onion and garlic, and sauté until the onion is fragrant and nearly translucent, about 10 minutes. Meanwhile, drain and rinse the beans, discarding the bay leaf and garlic clove. To the soup pot, add 8 cups of the broth, the carrots, rinsed beans and tomato paste. Simmer on high for an hour or until the beans begin to be toothsome and soft. Add the pasta; the rest of the broth may be needed at this time. After 10 minutes, add the greens, the cooked ham and sausage. Simmer high until the greens are softened, the pasta done and the beans ready. Serve topped with Parmesan cheese and look forward to having it again tomorrow. And the next day.

Lean Day Cassoulet

By all rights, this gorgeous French-derived dish should contain duck legs with confit and lovely charcuterie sausages, and were this the holidazed season, perhaps it would. But we’re discussing bare-bones January, and whatever happens to be swooning away in the fridge the day you prepare this dish will work just fine. I recently ravaged the last of a grocery-store roasted chicken as a carnivorous extra for this cassoulet, and it was superb.

While this recipe suggests that you make your own fresh bread crumbs, the last time I made this meal, I simply grabbed a half-bag of panko Japanese bread crumbs from the shelf, guiltily moistened them with a bit of bacon fat and spread them on. You know it was good.

Spare your stove by putting a baking pan under the casserole to catch any bubble-overs.

1 pound dried great Northern white beans
1 bay leaf
1 clove garlic, peeled
3 yellow onions, sliced thin into half-rounds
6 cloves of garlic, peeled and cut in half
1 bay leaf, broken up
olive oil
salt and pepper to taste
as much ham as you can stand (about 4 c., diced)
6 slices bacon
other meats that might be idling about in the fridge: diced cooked chicken; cooked sausage links, halved; and certainly duck leg confit
1 large can best-quality crushed peeled tomatoes
chicken broth to moisten (at least 2 c.)
8 sprigs fresh thyme (dried thyme is absolutely legal)
half a loaf of good French bread

Prepare the dried beans by covering with water in a pot, adding bay leaf and garlic clove and boiling slowly for two hours or until the beans are soft. Remove from heat, cover and let stand until ready to use.

Heat the oven to 300. Place the sliced onions, garlic pieces and broken bay leaf bits in a large baking pan. Toss with enough olive oil to coat and slow-cook for at least an hour, turning the vegetables every 15 minutes or so to prevent browning. The end result should be almost jellied in its succulence. Remove and discard bay leaf pieces. Turn oven up to 350 and set baking pan aside.

In a skillet, cook bacon until browned. Remove and drain, breaking into small pieces. Brown the ham pieces in the bacon fat and enjoy the double-pork experience. Tell no one. Set ham aside. Prepare any ancillary meats and set aside. Drain tomatoes and dice if necessary into bite-sized pieces. Prepare bread crumbs by halving the bread and toasting it in the oven for 10 minutes. Let cool and tear into pieces. Place in a food processor and pulse until the bread is crumby.

Rinse the beans, discarding garlic clove and bay leaf. Take a Dutch oven or deep casserole dish and layer ingredients into it, beginning with the beans. Then layer in the onion mixture, crumbling thyme atop it. Next add a portion of tomatoes and the meats. Repeat layers until the casserole or Dutch oven is almost filled. Slowly add enough broth so that the meal is moistened but not running over. Top with breadcrumbs. Cook until the cassoulet is heated through and bubbling and the top browned, about 30 minutes.

From the January 12-18, 2005 issue of the North Bay Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Fur Coat Flap

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Photograph by R. V. Scheide

Faux Paw: Kings and Queens owner Mikki Herman (right) and her daughter, Danila, stay cool in fake fur coats.

Animal Pragmatism

As the fur flies in Guerneville, the middle ground gets harder to find

By R. V. Scheide

Guerneville resident Alex Bury distinctly recalls the day her life in this small Russian River resort town changed forever. A conference planner for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA), Bury was driving down Guerneville’s main street last November when she passed Kings and Queens, a vintage thrift shop preparing to open. In the store’s display window were three mannequins draped in fur coats.

“I was just shocked,” recalls Bury, a six-year Guerneville resident who formerly owned Sparks vegan restaurant. “It looked like a furrier. It was outrageous.”

The fact that two out of three of the furs in the display were synthetic–as are most of the coats on Kings and Queens’ racks–did little to assuage Bury’s anger. Mixed in with the faux fur was a smattering of vintage mink, wolf, raccoon and mouton coats, most of them made more than 30 years ago. As far as Bury is concerned, they could have been made yesterday.

As a longtime volunteer for PETA and a member of Sonoma People for Animal Rights (SPAR), a local animal-rights group, Bury responded as she has been trained: she wrote a letter, had several of her Guerneville colleagues sign it and delivered it to the store’s owner, Mikki Herman.

“Congratulations on starting a new business,” the letter began. “It is important to us to support small, local businesses–and we just adore shopping at cool vintage places . . . but we cannot support a store that believes it is OK to skin animals alive, without any anesthesia.”

The letter insisted that because Kings and Queens was selling fur–even vintage pieces culled from animals killed decades ago–it “must take responsibility for the gruesome slaughter of baby harp seals going on right now in Canada. Even if you are only buying old furs, you are still marketing for the fur industry, and they will be grateful that a store in Guerneville is helping them kill more animals.”

The letter concluded by presenting Kings and Queens with a choice: “If you will pull the fur from your store, we will be some of your biggest supporters and customers. . . . If you choose to support the needless slaughter of animals for a silly luxury, we will be out front with posters and leaflets showing exactly what happens to animals in the making of fur garments.”

Bury figured the letter would be the end of the issue. “Usually, stores dump furs after just a couple of letters and customer feedback,” Bury says. “I had a lot of hope for the situation. I thought the fur would be gone.”

Bury thought wrong. Kings and Queens owner Herman never answered the letter and refused to stop selling vintage fur. Perhaps more shocking to Bury was that more than a few Guerneville residents, some of whom she considers friends, have turned against her and her cause. When Bury and a dozen SPAR members began picketing Kings and Queens in early December, twice as many counter-protesters showed up, some of them proudly proclaiming a love of meat and fur with their own picket signs as they dined on barbecued meat.

“The reason I live in Guerneville is because I see it as a compassionate and progressive town,” Bury says. “I didn’t know there was this undercurrent. I wish I still didn’t know.”

 

What’s happening in Guerneville is a battle between two opposing moral claims. The first, PETA and Bury’s, insists that animals are sentient beings with rights, including the right to not be abused and exploited for unnecessary human ends. The opposition’s claim comes straight out of the national religion–capitalism–and states that business owners have the right to buy and sell anything they wish, as long as it is permitted by law.

Mikki Herman never really imagined she’d have to take up the latter argument in her own defense–after all, slaughtering animals in order to make and sell products made from their fur isn’t illegal in most Western countries, including the United States. A 30-year Guerneville resident and mother of four, she had collected vintage clothes for years before opening her store in December. She’s well aware of the fur industry’s documented cruelties and adamantly refuses to buy new fur. However, Herman says it never occurred to her that selling vintage fur, which she considers a form of recycling, might spark a minor rebellion.

“It’s not about fur, it’s about freedom to choose,” she says. “I don’t see this as any worse than reusing a pair of shoes. I’m announcing to Alex Bury that I need no help with my conscience. She’s not my mother.”

With the fur flying over the protest throughout December, rational discourse was often abandoned, with each side accusing the other of various transgressions. Bury, for example, likened the fur industry to the Holocaust, a comparison that rubbed Mikki and her daughter Danila, who are of Jewish decent and lost relatives to the Holocaust, the wrong way. Counter-protesters jeered at Bury and her fellow picketers, calling them “fags,” an epithet more shocking when uttered in the supposedly gay- and lesbian-friendly town of Guerneville. By the beginning of this month, Bury could hardly walk down the street without someone flipping her off.

Shortly before New Year’s, Danila Herman made a series of signs out of pink construction paper and distributed them to local businesses. The signs state, “It’s our choice what we buy, sell, wear and eat.” At least 10 local businesses–roughly half of the town’s commercial community–have pasted them up in their windows.

“I don’t like fur, but I would never tell anyone else what to do. [SPAR] tells us what to wear, what to eat, who to sleep with–it’s like the Taliban or something,” says Valerie Hausman, who works at Memories That Linger, a clothing store that was also picketed by SPAR because it sold rabbit fur scarves.

Jan Pinney, owner and operator of Hemp & Chocolát is sympathetic to Bury’s cause, but has put Herman’s sign up in her window anyway. “I believe that people have a right to a choice,” Pinney says. “I don’t appreciate animals being slaughtered for clothing. But the bottom line is, this is a very small town, and when one business is picketed, we all lose.”

 

The furor has cast a pall over a town still reeling from Russian River Chamber of Commerce executive director Steve Fogle’s suicide in October and a proposed plan to reduce river flows, potentially threatening the area’s dominant tourist industry. For many business owners, even those sympathetic to the notion of animal rights, Bury’s protest couldn’t have come at a worse time. The fact that Guerneville’s business community may suffer losses does not deter Bury. “I don’t think it’s anything compared to the extremity of animal suffering,” she says. “That’s why I feel comfortable with what I’m doing.”

The fact that fur is a luxury item and not a necessity only heightens the animal suffering for people like Bury. “Fur is so insanely unnecessary,” she says. “No one thinks they have to have fur to get through the day.”

Still, the question remains: Why bring this battle to Guerneville? Several North Bay thrift and vintage stores also report that they sell used fur and have never had a problem. So why the problem in Guerneville?

“We can’t be a microcosm of the world at large, apparently,” says Mikki Herman. “It’s like the Gestapo is in town. What are they going to do to me next?”

In fact, Bury is promising to escalate the conflict even further, with protests planned for the two holiday weekends in February and the annual women’s weekend in May.

“They will not cross picket lines,” she insists of the Bay Area women who traditionally flock to the region for the latter event. Kings and Queens, and perhaps many other Guerneville businesses, will almost undoubtedly lose money because of the controversy. But it’s not too late, Bury says.

“If Mikki decides she wants to talk, we’ll call it off,” she says.

That outcome seems unlikely. Herman says the negative publicity has only helped her business. “The fur is flying off the shelves faster than the faux fur,” she says. Furthermore, Herman intends to stick to her guns. “I will live in a tree and go broke before I give in,” she says.

On a recent overcast afternoon, Alex Bury walks down main street in her muck boots, noting which stores have placed Herman’s pink signs in their windows and waving demurely at the people inside the shops, some of whom were once her friends. She plans to e-mail a list of sign-bearing store names to her SPAR colleagues so they can begin complaining.

“All of us live here because it’s Guerneville,” she says. “I can walk around like this, I can operate a vegan restaurant.”

She sighs. “All of that is gone now.”

From the January 12-18, 2005 issue of the North Bay Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Swirl n’ Spit

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Swirl n’ Spit
Tasting Room of the Week

The Smart Drinkers’ Tour of Winter Wineland

By Heather Irwin

There are two things you need to know about Russian River tasting weekends. Take a map and don’t lose your glass. OK–three things: bring a sharp pencil as well. Because when push comes to shove–and believe me, it does during Russian River tasting weekends–a little poke is sometimes necessary to move along friendly tourists from Sheboygan. Not that we don’t love tourists and all, but we’re on a mission, people.

After all, $30 is no small sum to lay out for a long weekend of winding your way through the hundred or so wineries of the Russian River, Alexander and Dry Creek Valleys. So, to get your money’s worth, cut the chit-chat and get to sippin’. Always held the third weekend in January, this year’s Winter Wineland is scheduled for Saturday-Sunday, Jan. 15-16.

Amateurs foray into the vineyards willy-nilly, stopping at whatever balloon bouquet beckons them along the winding roads. You’re too smart for that. Pick a single appellation (or region) each day and hit a handful. Keep it to five or six wineries. Concentrate first on smaller wineries that are not usually open to the public–or are usually open by appointment only–like Acorn, Chateau Felice or Michel-Schlumberger. Off the beaten path, you’ll find friendly staff and spectacular wine. Secondly, try to map a route that won’t have you doubling to hell and back, wasting more of your time driving that actually tasting wine. You can find detailed maps at www.wineroad.com.

Though big tasting weekends can be a great opportunity to taste some brand-new wines, they’re also often a way to unload a lot of less-than-stellar wines stacking up in the cellars. Don’t waste your time tasting a crummy Reisling from a winery that’s known for its Pinot Noir. At the same time, be open to adventure–sometimes a new varietal can be the start of something wonderful.

Russian River Valley Favorites
Acorn:
Wonderful Old World field blends (Sangiovese) that win huge awards.
Chateau Felice: Imaginative wines from a young winemaker. Killer Merlot.
J Wine: Sparkling wines that tickle and tease. Plus, the Bubble Room.
Gary Farrell: Exceptional Pinot Noirs and a really great debut Sauvignon Blanc with views that will have you pondering the meaning of life.
Suncé: A fun, family-owned winery with lovely Pinots.

Alexander Valley Favorites
Locals: A fun way to try a variety of small, local wines.
Chateau Souverain: Pull up to the manor, Jeeves. Pretend you live in this amazing French chateau and toast to your newfound greatness.

Dry Creek/Healdsburg Favorites
Preston: Kitties, bread, bocce and jugs of wine on Sunday.
Bella Vineyards: Once you enter the caves, you may not want to leave. Great reds.
Michel-Schlumberger: A beautiful Mission-style space with refined French-style wines.

Winter Wineland is scheduled for Saturday-Sunday, Jan. 15-16, from 11am to 4pm at some 100 wineries along the Russian River Wine Road. Tickets are $10-$35 and are good for the whole weekend. Call the winery where you would like to begin your day to purchase tickets. 707.433.4335. www.wineroad.com.

From the January 12-18, 2005 issue of the North Bay Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

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