Ask Sydney

November 28-December 5, 2006

Dear Sydney, I recently went to the quilt exhibit at the De Young Museum. This town in Appalachia was extremely isolated and the women turned old jeans, dish towels, etc., into quilts. In the video interviews, one of the women said, “We were poor, but we were happy. People today have lots of things, but they’re not happy.” Sydney, is this true? Does having so many choices and so many leisure items make us less happy? Were people really happier when they were poor? I have an iPod and a PS2, but I’m still miserable.–Rich with Stuff

Dear Stuff: Somehow, the idea of living in poverty in the Appalachian Mountains, popping out babies whom I may or may not be able to feed, while I make quilts out of old dish towels does not bespeak of happiness to me. Happiness is a state of mind, and if your state of mind tells you that you will be happy if you buy that new couch, you very well might be. Then again, making something beautiful, like a quilt, can make you feel happy. But to say that people are happier if they are poor is a load of horseshit. Give me money any day, because you want to know true misery? Then give everything up and move into a box in a garbage dump with your kids, and give them glue to sniff because you don’t have any food. Try this for a while and then tell me you’d be happier poor. May I suggest that you cradle your iPod and your PS2 to your chest, and give thanks that you are fortunate enough to be able to spend large amounts of money on asinine items that exist purely for the sake of your own personal enjoyment, and not for any other reason.

Dear Sydney, my almost six-year-old son was recently given the Star Wars Legos computer game. He had never played anything like it before, so my husband and I thought we’d let him try, thinking he’d get frustrated and that would be the end of it. But in no time he had it figured out, and now he’s begging to play all the time. He seems addicted. I am sad to say that I have never seen him so excited about anything he’s ever done. And this is a kid who laughs hysterically when his one-year-old brother dances, who loves to ride his bike, who plays with many friends and relatives. In other words, he’s not lacking in quality experiences. Yet the first thing out of his mouth this morning upon waking up was “Mom! I made it to the new city last night!” He was so elated. When he asked if he could play some more (this is at 6:30am, mind you), and I said no, his face turned sinister and he became enraged. It just doesn’t seem right for a child this age to become so involved in a computer game. What do you recommend? –Confused Mom

Dear CM: It sounds as if your son is being given enough time to explore life in a supportive and creative environment and that a little Lego computer game is not going to destroy his chances at becoming a reasonably healthy adult. Because computer games, video games and movies can have a devastating effect on the calm of your family life, you have to decide: either you get rid of the computer game and never allow him to play it, or you instate strict rules about playing time. He has a choice: he can either spend his free time playing his game or watching a movie, but it has to be one or the other. Second, purchase a timer. Give him an allotment of time that he can use up as he wants, and the timer will make it very clear for how long he can play. Give him maybe 45 minutes, and if he wants to get worked up about it, then he loses his privileges for the day.

Is this the best way for him to spend his time? Maybe it’s not your ideal, but many children, especially boys of his generation, are passionate about video games. If you do decide to ban the games from your house, do it soon. The longer you wait, the more difficult it will be, and the older he gets, the more he will resent you for it. There is social stigma attached to letting your kids game, not to mention a plethora of difficult, often moral decisions that must be made in regards to what games are appropriate for them to play and how much time it’s OK to play for. On the other hand, some children love to game more then they love doing anything else, and what does it mean when you say no to a passion like that? How will it metamorphose?

Dear Sydney: I am hoping that you can settle a dispute between me and my room mate. It’s causing some serious friction. It came out during a drunken dinner party conversation that he seems to think it’s no big deal to piss in the shower. I had no idea that he felt this way, and had always assumed that he, like me, peed in the damn toilet. The other people in the conversation seemed to feel mixed about this issue; some thought it was no big deal to piss in the shower, and others, like me, thought it was totally disgusting. My roommate refuses to give up his habit, claiming that he, and I quote, “really enjoys it.” He acts like I’m being an uptight asshole for even worrying about it. I’m totally grossed out. Is there anyway to settle this besides moving out? Who is right?–Pissed

Dear Pissed: There is no handbook for urination etiquette, at least not one that I’ve ever seen, which means that whether or not it’s OK to piss in the shower is totally subjective. Here’s the thing: urine is actually pretty clean; in fact, you can drink it. Remember this, it could save your life: if you are ever lost in the desert, you can drink your own piss exactly two times, after that it won’t do you any good. But still, it’s just not cool to pee in the shower if you have roomies, even if you enjoy it. It’s not respectful. The only reason it would be OK would be if everyone living in the house agreed upon it beforehand. If your roommate thinks you’re uptight, too bad; maybe you are, but that doesn’t make it OK to do something to offend you. That’s just poor roommate etiquette. Unless your roommate wants to take charge of cleaning and scrubbing the bathtub regularly, and washing the shower curtain, he better wait until he gets his own place. Wash your dishes, don’t piss in the shower. It’s standard.

No question too big, too small or too off-the-wall.


Dark Green

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November 29-December 5, 2006


If there were a television commercial for marijuana, you could imagine it featuring some good-looking adults passing a joint around a dinner table, laughing and having fun while a pro-pot celebrity like Woody Harrelson or Lenny Kravitz walked on with a knowing smile and made a pitch for smoking herb. “Pot. It’s natural. It’s organic. The way nature meant it to be.”

Society no longer regards marijuana as the devil weed. While once reviled as a fast ticket to an underworld of crime and vice, the days of “reefer madness” have evolved into tolerance. In California, possession of under an ounce is a misdemeanor that carries a $100 fine. Since the passage of Proposition 215 in 1996, people with medical conditions are relatively free to smoke, possess and grow pot as long as they have a doctor’s note. For everyone else, it’s still naughty, but much of society seems to regard pot as an entirely different drug than cocaine, methamphetamine or heroin.

Showtime’s hit series Weeds, about a suburban mom who deals pot to make ends meet, is a further indication of how social mores have changed. There’s no way the show would be as popular if it featured a lovable crack dealer. And then there’s Willie Nelson, perhaps the country’s best-known dope smoker and legalization advocate. “I think people need to be educated to the fact that marijuana is not a drug,” Nelson has been quoted as saying. “Marijuana is an herb and a flower. God put it here. If he put it here and he wants it to grow, what gives the government the right to say that God is wrong?”

Nelson is not alone in his live-and-let-live views on marijuana. After alcohol and tobacco, marijuana is the third most popular drug in America. According to government surveys, marijuana has been used by approximately 80 million people. Twenty million people smoked pot in the past year, and 11 million smoke it regularly.

It’s just pot, right? What’s the big deal?

The big deal is this: In spite of widespread social acceptance and evidence that smoking marijuana is less harmful than consuming alcohol or tobacco, pot has an ugly side that shatters its happy hippie image as an innocuous herb.

The reality many recreational smokers don’t want to hear is that pot can be a dirty, bloody business. While there are countless backyard growers and small-scale pot farmers who stay clear of the nasty side of cultivation, the marijuana trade is increasingly controlled by Mexican drug-trafficking organizations. That’s especially true in California, the No. 1 pot-growing state. While once controlled by relatively benign hippie growers and opportunists in the “emerald triangle” in Humboldt, Trinity and Mendocino counties, Mexican drug syndicates have muscled into the business over the past years, government authorities say, ratcheting up production and profits as well as violence to protect their crops.

“The same people who have been bringing you cocaine, meth and heroin are now bringing you marijuana,” says Rich Camps, a task-force commander for the state Bureau of Narcotics Enforcement. “They’ve added it to their portfolio.”

What’s more, the growers who have set up shop in the state’s wild lands are fouling the environment by piling trash, siphoning local creeks for irrigation and dumping pounds of fertilizer, pesticides and human waste into the water table and sensitive habitats.

“It’s a serious pollution issue,” says John Nores, a warden with the California Department of Fish and Game.

It’s not just law enforcement that decries black-market pot. From the other side of the aisle is Valerie Corral. She’s co-founder of the Wo/Men’s Alliance for Medical Marijuana, a nonprofit collective that provides marijuana to the seriously ill. She’s been arrested three times on marijuana charges and is an outspoken critic of current marijuana laws, but she too condemns the criminal underground that has turned pot into an organized-crime industry.

“I think people don’t see the harm caused by the illicit market,” she says. Just as purchasing petroleum products or fast food can have negative social consequences, so does buying marijuana grown by drug traffickers, she believes. “I think the important thing is to observe our impacts as consumers.”

While there’s not yet a fair trade, organic brand of marijuana for conscientious pot smokers, Corral urges like-minded people to educate themselves about what she sees as the value of legalized marijuana and to take a stand for better access to marijuana for those who need it.

New Green Gold Rush

There are different theories about why Mexican drug traffickers are now growing pot on California soil in such large quantities. Some say it’s because clampdowns at the U.S.-Mexican border have made smuggling the drug harder, making it more practical to grow it here. However, Camps believes law enforcement’s efforts to shut down methamphetamine labs in California by restricting the sale of the chemicals needed to make the drug have left a criminal “workforce” without work. Growing weed has filled the void, he says.

“There’s big money to be made in marijuana, and that’s why they’re figuring it out,” he says.

The infiltration of Mexican pot growers into California rural lands has ushered in an era of low-intensity warfare between the growers and law enforcement. California’s Campaign Against Marijuana Production (CAMP) began in 1983. It’s a multi-agency task force that flies helicopters all over the state looking for pot groves and chopping them down. Since CAMP’s inception, plant seizures have gone up almost every year. Last year’s eradication of 1.1 million plants was a new record, and in October, with about a month left to go in the 2006 season, CAMP had already set a new record with 1.7 million plants, valued at more than $6.7 billion. Of those, Sonoma County had some 74,000 plants seized; Napa had 31,300 and Marin had at least 20,000 plants grabbed, many of them found growing on the municipal water district’s land. What’s more, growth and harvest in the South Bay continues to enlarge, with some 47,000 plants taken this year.

Unlike North Bay counties south of Humboldt that divert police and sheriff power to marijuana detection and eradication, the Santa Clara County Sheriff’s Office this year received a state grant to create its first-ever marijuana eradication team (MET). The team is on the job all year long. During the spring-to-fall growing season, they fly over the hills in helicopters trying to spot gardens and hike across rugged terrain with topo maps and GPS devices in hand to sniff out illicit pot farms. During the winter months, they explore sites they may have missed and reconnoiter gardens they plan to hit during the next growing season.

Pot Cops

The MET deputies don’t want their names revealed, as a precaution against retribution. Both are former patrol deputies and members of the sheriff’s office SWAT team. One is a baby-faced deputy with a buzz cut and a quick smile. His partner is the more reserved of the two. He’s an intense man with glasses, a thin build and a calculating stare.

As big as this year’s haul has been, the shorthaired deputy says there’s a lot they’re not finding. He estimates they’re missing 60 percent to 70 percent of the pot growing in the county. “It seems like it’s wildly out of control,” he says. “These guys will do it anywhere and spare no expense.”

The deputies say they have no interest in raiding medicinal marijuana gardens. Under Proposition 215, medical marijuana patients or their caregivers are allowed to have six mature or 12 immature plants. As long as medicinal pot growers can provide a medical marijuana card, they leave the gardens alone, they say.

“We respect state law and respect the right of people to have medical marijuana,” says the shorthaired deputy.

But with 23 raids of large-scale illegal gardens under their belts this year, these antipot commandos are more than a minor irritation to the illicit growers.

“It’s getting more and more violent every year,” says the bespectacled member of the eradication team. “I could use another five guys on my team and use them seven days a week. There’s just so much [marijuana].”

Going to the Grow

On a recent foggy morning just before dawn, the scene in the parking lot of a Los Gatos church was enough to make an early rising parishioner whisper a few Hail Marys and run for cover. Six men in camouflage fatigues and bulletproof vests stepped out of unmarked vehicles and began to unsheathe various semiautomatic weapons. The MET deputies and other deputies assigned to help them smeared on dark face paint and racked their rifles, chambering rounds with a series of metallic clacks and pops.

A few weeks earlier, one of the deputies flew over the area with a pilot in the sheriff’s department’s sole helicopter. Both deputies received training in aerial marijuana spotting in Mendocino County, the state’s best outdoor classroom for learning such a skill. Banking over the rugged, steep terrain above the Sierra Azul Open Space Preserve, the MET deputy saw a telltale patch of green that was much brighter and lighter than the manzanita, oak and chemise that forests the hillsides here. After flying over it a few times to confirm what he saw (but hopefully not close enough to arouse too much suspicion of anyone hiding out in the garden), he marked the site with his GPS device and added it to an ever-growing list of gardens he wanted to hit.

While the GPS certainly helps locate a “grow,” as the deputies call pot gardens, two of the most reliable signs are decidedly more low-tech: foot trails and black irrigation pipe. The heavy rains this spring could be part of the reason for this year’s bumper crop. Growers lug in miles of the plastic pipe and divert water from creeks and drainages to feed their thirsty crops. Find a black pipe snaking along the ground and follow it downhill, chances are good you’ll find a garden. And where there are gardens, there are often gardeners.

Once at the grow, what they found was typical of these large-scale marijuana operations. The area around the garden was heaped with garbage and toxic waste. There was evidence of the growers’ camp, including a dismantled tent, blankets, camping stove, empty fuel canisters, food wrappers, plastic water bottles and empty cans of food. Scattered throughout the camp were empty jugs and bags of fertilizer and pesticides. Nearby, the growers had dug two pits and lined them with heavy black plastic and piped in water from a nearby drainage to create a makeshift irrigation tank. The basins are often filled with fertilizer and other chemicals, creating a toxic soup that leeches into the ground and, potentially, back into creeks and groundwater supplies.

“Whatever makes it downstream or underground is toast,” says Nores of the Department of Fish and Game.

As for the weed itself, about a thousand chest-high plants were growing from individually dug holes. They were several weeks from budding, so rather than haul them out, the deputies simply clipped them with pruning shears and let them lie where they fell. Once cut, marijuana plants won’t grow back.

In addition to the trash, the growers left something else that reminded the deputies of what they were up against each time they raided a pot garden: a gun holster and empty boxes of .357 caliber hollow-point rounds. Once they enter the body, the bullets are designed to splinter and cause maximum damage.

Just a few miles away from this grow was the scene of a raid last year that didn’t go as well. The MET deputies, two state Fish and Game wardens and other sheriff’s office deputies were walking through a dense garden of marijuana when they were ambushed by two men hiding in the plants armed with AK-47s. Shots rang out and Fish and Game warden Kyle Kroll was struck by a bullet that went through both his legs. The deputies returned fire and hit one man. The other suspected pot grower escaped into the woods and was never found in spite of a huge manhunt. Kroll spent three hours waiting for an airlift. He’s since recovered from his wounds. By the time a medical team arrived, the wounded suspect was dead.

Camps, the task force commander with the Bureau of Narcotics Enforcement, said he later learned the suspect was part of the Michoacan-based drug-trafficking organization. The man’s family never claimed his body.

Legalize It?

Advocates for marijuana legalization say prohibition and profit drive the illegal market. Even though California has decriminalized possession of marijuana, it ensures illegal cultivation will flourish, says Corral, co-founder of the medical marijuana cooperative.

“It helps proliferate the illegal market,” she says. “We don’t look at the far-reaching impact.”

Dale Gieringer, California coordinator for the National Organization for the Reform of Marijuana Laws, believes that only when growing marijuana is legal will the violence and nefarious nature of the illegal drug trade stop. What’s more, he says a state-controlled marijuana industry could rake in huge sums of money through taxation.

“This is a multibillion industry that’s being lost to the state through criminality.”

But until the laws change, the war against the growers has to continue, he says.

“As long as you have this dumb game of prohibition, [law enforcement] doesn’t have much choice.”

For his part, the shorthaired deputy with the marijuana eradica tion team doesn’t lose sleep over the legalization debate or the efficacy of what he does. His job is to enforce the law, and growing pot is illegal.

“If it wasn’t a felony tomorrow, we’d find something else to do,” he says.


Ottocrat’s Honor

November 29-December 5, 2006

People complain, as people ought to do, about the MPAA’s rating system, but it replaces a system that was even more restrictive than what we’ve got now. Producer and director Otto Preminger, a constant warrior against censorship, is celebrated with a four-film fest of newly restored films running Dec. 1-3 at the Smith Rafael Film Center.

“The Ottocrat” was known and feared as one of the most sulfurously tempered of directors. As an actor, he was a natural, playing shaven-headed Prussians in The Pied Piper and Stalag 17 and Mr. Freeze on TV’s Batman. As an early and especially independent producer, his work anticipates the indie films of today.

Where the Sidewalk Ends (screening Dec. 1) is a euphemistic title meaning “the gutter,” and that’s where NYPD cop Dana Andrews will end up if he can’t get help from Gene Tierney. One of Preminger’s least known films, this is a reteaming of Dana Andrews and Gene Tierney from Preminger’s famous murder/romance Laura. Afterwards, film noir expert Eddie Mueller turns up onstage to grill Dana Andrew’s daughter Susan Andrews under the hot lights until she spills what she knows.

Described as “what fellas back home would call ‘a hot bundle,’ I guess,” Dorothy Dandridge is the highlight of Preminger’s 1954 remake of the Bizet opera, Carmen Jones (Dec. 3). Oscar Hammerstein II’s lyrics to the famous habañera (“Dat’s Love”) isn’t as easy on the ear as the French verses were, but the cast includes Diahann Carroll, the powerhouse belter Pearl Bailey and the intimidating Broc (later Brock) Peters as the sergeant who taunts Don Jose into a fight. As the unlucky Joe, Harry Belafonte is as nervous as a cat, and he contends with a dubbed tenor voice so different from his familiar mellow tones.

Despite the unsteady Belafonte, the movie works. A keen sense of design led Preminger to be the first director to hire Saul Bass. The eminent graphic artist came up with a title sequence in which animated scarlet flames consume a scrawled cartoon rose.

Preminger also gave Dorothy Dandridge her first major part. The sophisticated nightclub chanteuse coarsened her speaking voice and her diction to play this backwoods Carmen. (Marilyn Horne dubs her singing voice.) She is chemical as hell–a sensation in tight pink skirts and zebra-striped underwear–but Dandridge is also an affecting anti-heroine. She stands up to the male lust for possession until she’s destroyed, like a female toreador killed by the bull she was teasing. (Though she was the first black person ever to appear on the cover of Life magazine, Dandridge didn’t prosper; racist typecasting and gossip hurried her to a young end at 42.)

Preminger’s 1955 film The Man with the Golden Arm (Dec. 2) is tamer than Nelson Algren’s drug novel, with Frank Sinatra as Frankie Machine, a Chicago jazz drummer going down the drain thanks to dope. Long visible in grimy public domain copies, the film was in desperate need of a new print and has finally been restored. Preminger’s daughter Victoria and eminent film historian David Thomson discuss this pioneering drama after the screening.

The aging of some of Preminger’s wares is apparent, no matter how pristine the print. His 1953 The Moon Is Blue (Dec. 3), a scandal in its day, it is now about as spicy as a Saskatoon burrito. It stars Maggie McNamara, a virgin as unassailable as Doris Day, up against a pair of polished seducers (William Holden, David Niven). It was a risky endeavor to release the film without the seal of the Motion Picture Production Code, but the gamble paid off with a 16-week stint on the Top Ten.

Maddened by the thought of the word “virgin” being heard on American screens for the first time, Catholic picketers from the Knights of Columbus turned up in droves. Little did they know the film was a resounding defense of the idea of waiting ’til you’re married. As Preminger’s unauthorized biographer Willi Frischauer put it, “The bark of the moralists was often worse than the bite of the producer.”

Frischauer and others have plenty of recollections of Awful Otto’s gentle, personable side. These anecdotes spoil the legend of a thundering tyrant, just as the sometimes terrible films he made (The Cardinal, Rosebud) mar the record of a true rebel.

An Academy centennial salute to Otto Preminger screens Friday-Sunday, Dec. 1-3, at the Smith Rafael Film Center. 1118 Fourth St., San Rafael. 415.454.1222. www.cafilm.org.


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On Loving the Simpsons

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November 29-December 5, 2006

The father is fat, bald and alcoholic. The son is a 10-year-old criminal. The drawings are minimal. From that start, the next evolution in animation began in 1987.

It’s been two decades since The Tracey Ullman Show ran a series of short cartoons concerning the day-to-day misery of the Simpson family from Springfield, U.S.A. To this day, David Silverman, founding director and now supervising art director on the animated series The Simpsons, is hesitant, at least in interviews, to say why everybody loves the family.

“They have no life,” Silverman jokes over the phone while working on the much-anticipated Simpsons movie, due for release next July. He then asks a room of his fellow directors why the Simpsons are so beloved as to be subjects of the longest running sitcom on television. From across the room, director Mike Anderson delivers the perfect promo statement: “People see themselves in the family. They relate to the characters.” Silverman makes me credit Anderson with that quote, then adds, “It’s also damn funny.”

Silverman is coming to Sonoma State University on Dec. 1 to speak about the show and its impact on the culture. For a mere 10 bucks a head, audience members can hear Silverman share stories on the innumerable reasons why The Simpsons has cemented itself in the minds of generations of fans. The show will consist of Silverman’s overall perspective of the show and his growth from animator to director and supervisor. He says, “We have people working here who are like, ‘You were here from the beginning,’ and it’s not something I think about. College kids, who grew up on us.”

The road from a spate of two-minute shorts to 17 seasons as the best comedy–animated or not–on television has marked Silverman’s journey with the show. “I don’t know how I could have a wife and kids and stay up until three in the morning animating,” he says. Matt Groening, Wes Archer and Silverman animated those original shorts themselves. Silverman directed the first broadcast episode, “Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire,” and the show became an immediate success. That success became a phenomenon and a cultural barometer and even a college-instructed philosophy. The only show that has more episodes in the bank than The Simpsons is Gunsmoke–and there are no classes on Gunsmoke at major universities.

Silverman is credited with giving the show its unique look and feel. While Matt Groening designed the characters in the mid-’80s, Silverman gave them movement and life. He pioneered animation techniques, transforming the rough edges of the first season into the polished show that airs today. He has directed milestone episodes and now is at work on the film version, so far known simply as The Simpsons Movie. He says of his animation staff, “Everyone, down to the storyboard artists, takes pride in what they do. Our biggest challenge is always the deadline. We want to blow everyone away.”

Part of Silverman’s SSU lecture will include showing unseen clips from the show. “I used to have a lot of those clips,” he says, “except the DVDs have come out and I’m down to a few. I still have some, though.” There will be question-and-answer periods, too. “It’s very inspiring and rewarding to engage directly with the fans. We don’t get that enough.”

Most of the lecture will focus on animation, which Silverman speaks of as a process of challenges and benefits. “From one point, we do a lot more animation per episode,” he says. “It’s more difficult, but we also get more resources and time. I am happy to report the animation has improved. The writing has also improved, but from the animation side, we pushed ourselves.” The complexity, attention to detail and the speed of the animation continues to grow, and the show looks better every year.

Most people think all the animation is done in Korea, but that isn’t true. The Korean animators only paint and touch up the look. Silverman’s team animate every movement and nuance, down to the twiddling fingers and rolling eyes. “Nuances are what get the big laugh,” he says. “It’s worth it to try and put in another hour or two on this or that. It really pays off.” The animators build the show from pencil drawings into an animatic, which serves as a sketch of the entire scene or episode. Often the animatic contains most or all of the animation before it is sent over.

Aside from the catchphrases and merchandising, The Simpsons has become a standard against which new comedies must set themselves. Shows like Family Guy and other animated fare simply would not exist without The Simpsons, which was considered a second renaissance within the animation community, a new precedent in the genre. A seemingly simple yet incredibly focused combination of satire and off-the-wall silliness makes The Simpsons the ruler of television comedy. “The human ego is the root of all humor,” Silverman says. “We don’t just pick on specific groups. We spotlight and point out the humorous–not stupidity, but ego.”

Certainly, over the years, other shows have passed The Simpsons in terms of edginess. Silverman acknowledges South Park. “That is edgier. It’s as if we raised the bar, and the bar caught up to us.” Yet The Simpsons survives precisely by staying true to its characters and their world.

Silverman does not believe in lowering standards to appeal to a mass audience. The range of humor in The Simpsons is unparalleled. Family sitcoms, like Everybody Loves Raymond, focus on one area. For example, a typical plot has the husband and wife fighting about something, other relatives making jokes at their expense, a solution presenting itself and the husband and wife resolving their dispute. In contrast, The Simpsons‘ world encompasses over 50 characters from all backgrounds and perspectives, each of whom wittily sends up some aspect or stereotype of American family and cultural life.

Episodes like “Deep Space Homer” poke fun of the fact that the average American is not interested in academic pursuits when there’s football to be played. “Lisa the Vegetarian” played with intolerance while changing some people’s perspective on eating meat. Ray Romano may not be able to do the same when he’s voicing cute forest creatures in his next snooze-o-rama Pixar feature.

Speaking of Pixar, Silverman left The Simpsons briefly to pursue bigger projects. His first animated feature as a director was the uninspiring Road to El Dorado with all those Elton John tunes. He then worked on Ice Age for about three weeks before returning to work on The Simpsons.

The biggest news now is the movie. It’s being treated with the secrecy made famous in the “Who Shot Mr. Burns?” cliffhanger, only more so. Silverman himself is mum on the subject. “I can tell you definitely that it will be in color. The main character will be a guy named Homer, and a woman named Marge appears in several scenes,” he chuckles.

When I ask if the plot line posted on the Internet Movie Database is accurate–Homer swamps the town of Springfield with nuclear waste and everyone must be evacuated–Silverman sort of laughs and says, “That’s the real-not-true-but-maybe-could-be plot line.”

Beyond the movie, Silverman has little in store for the future. “I seem to be doing fine without a plan so far. I don’t work from plans.” When he’s not working, Silverman watches little television himself. “You know one show I want to see? Lost. But I won’t watch it until I can see the first episode, and when’ll that happen? When I’m not working, I don’t get a lot of time to watch TV. I try to go out and enjoy life.”

David Silverman discusses the mesmerizing topic ‘Why Everybody Loves “The Simpsons”‘ on Friday, Dec. 1, at the SSU Cooperage. 1801 E. Cotati Ave., Rohnert Park. $10 general public; free for SSU students. 8pm. 707.664.2804.


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Life in the Checkout Lane

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November 29-December 5, 2006

Once upon a time in the early 1970s, hundreds of independent record stores around America stocked albums by a country-rock band from Los Angeles. A series of hits, sold hand over fist through the recommendation of the retail owners and employees who were confident in the band’s greatness, gave birth to an AM-radio legend. That legend, of course, is the Eagles, who not only have the independent retail store to thank for their widespread success, but who also last month signed a far-reaching exclusive deal with the least indie of them all, Wal-Mart.

The dollar amount is undisclosed; the enthusiasm is not. Declaring itself “America’s biggest supporter of the music business,” Wal-Mart’s deal provides sponsorship, preferred placement in its stores and exclusive audio and video releases. This has already taken form in time for the holiday season, and is expected to include the distribution of an album the band are currently recording, their first new studio album in over 25 years.

Comments from Wal-Mart about the deal have the strange ring of absolute naiveté, like a child convinced of its own fantasies: “Our partnership with the Eagles demonstrates how serious we are about giving our customers a choice of new, unique, world-class entertainment products!” says David Porter, Wal-Mart’s vice president of home entertainment. “We are very pleased to be able to bring our customers an alliance with America’s greatest rock icons.”

OK. First, let’s look at the Eagles. The Eagles are neither new nor especially unique, and, for crying out loud, they can hardly be taken seriously as America’s greatest rock icons. This pales in absurdity, of course, next to Wal-Mart’s claim as America’s biggest supporter of the music business, which is like Robert E. Lee claiming to be the country’s biggest supporter of African Americans since, you know, he housed and fed so many on his plantation.

And, what the hell, let’s throw out the obvious accusations. Let’s throw out Wal-Mart’s policy of censorship, which forces every artist from Slayer to Willie Nelson to alter cover art and edit album content before the megastore will stock their albums on its megashelves. And we can even ignore Wal-Mart’s 88-cent undercut on digital downloads, forcing artists to accept fewer royalties than under every other download service.

No, let’s just ask one basic question: Why in the world would the Eagles need to ink a deal with the lamest, most uncool conglomerate on the planet when their pockets are already billowing over with middle-American money?

A case could be made among certain circles that because the Eagles’ music is already well-known as the spawn of Satan, the two corporations make harmonious bedfellows. But since defining the multibillion dollar reunion tour in the 1990s, to defining the never-ending “Farewell Tour” payday of today, to signing a temporary exclusive deal with Best Buy in 2003, it has been apparent that the Eagles have one very obvious priority on their minds.

Why this necessitates alignment with the Worst Store Ever (and, by association, with Garth Brooks, whose entire recorded output is only available at Wal-Mart through a similar deal signed in 2005) is an indicator of why rich people stay rich: they keep making sleazier and sleazier business decisions to ensure that the numbers at the bottom of the paper keep growing.

Naturally, there is little expectation that a new album by the Eagles would sell exceptionally well in independent stores; indie outlets are bastions of flippancy toward soft-rock dinosaur acts, and in all probability the new album could prove to be a commercial flop. But after helping the Eagles achieve the record for the bestselling U.S. release of all-time (Their Greatest Hits 1971-1974), what are mom ‘n’ pop stores supposed to tell a customer who comes in asking for a new Eagles album? “Sorry, but Don Henley now only allows his music to be sold by evil forces hell-bent on destroying America”?

This might not be working out as well as the Eagles had hoped. Last week, as an experiment, I walked into a Wal-Mart and asked the clerk in the music department if the store had anything by the band. Um, the Eagles? She had no idea what I was talking about.

Now there’s an alliance with America’s rock icons.


First Bite

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I‘ve eaten with my fingers in the best of restaurants. Yes, my sticky digits have pressed the fine china at the French Laundry, Charlie Trotter’s, Le Bernardin and dozens of other well-respected eateries across the Americas, Europe and Asia.

When confronted (as rarely but sometimes happens) by stuffy fellow diners, I tilt my nose in the air and point out that, for cultured connoisseurs, chopsticks are the preferred utensils for any food, since the metal in cutlery can warp food’s subtle flavors. Why, using my pristine paws is actually a salute to the chef.

(That cutlery theory is actually true. What’s more important, though, is that I simply love to eat with my hands. Breaking off little bits of crispy animal skin, pulling small shards of juicy braised meat, plucking crunchy produce and spooning savory custards into my mouth to feel the food as much as taste it–it’s all so deliciously primal.)

So imagine my joy at discovering the brand-new Santa Trata in southwest Santa Rosa. It’s an Eritrean eatery, so not only is eating with fingers accepted, it’s the only method allowed.

Food is served in mounds atop a large platter of injera, an enormous quilt of unleavened sour bread that is the heart and soul–and main utensil–of northeast Africa. The steamed dough is more like a pancake, fluffy and pocketed with bubbles; we tear off pieces of bread to scoop stews or wrap meats burrito-style.

On our visit, the little 10-table Santa Trata was so new that it didn’t yet have menus printed. Our waitress simply showed us that evening’s choices: six items that we can select in various combinations (any two for $8.99; any three for $10.99), including a side green salad. We choose all six, then sat back in our leopard-skin-covered booth seats, admiring the colorful collection of African art decorating every inch of the walls.

Eritrean food typically is very spicy, kicked with lots of berbere (cayenne paste). It’s also dramatically seasoned, in flurries of ginger, cardamom, coriander, fenugreek, nutmeg, cloves, cinnamon, allspice, garlic and paprika. So imagine my disappointment to discover that Santa Trata’s version is neither. There’s serious fire in the zigne, minced beef in a buttery homemade chili sauce so powerful that my tongue watered. Yet the properly sour injera overpowered the meek beef curry, while the usually infernal dorho kulwa is more like Chinese stir-fry, tossing chicken chunks in mildly spiced butter with garlic, onion and pepper.

“It smells like Indian food,” my companion muses, lifting a bundle of hamlee to her lips, but the spinach casserole is more soothing than stimulating.

Shiro (pureed lentils) is nice enough and the vegetarian alicha is a pleasant mix of al dente herbed potato, carrot, zucchini, and bell pepper. But like the hot chocolate Santa Trata serves–cocoa-flavored water, really–there’s very little oomph here.

In the mornings, Santa Trata is a coffee, smoothie and juice bar, morphing to Eritrean eats at lunch. It’s obviously a work in progress. Our waitress explains that a full menu is coming soon. Here’s hoping the full fire and spices come with it. My mouth–and my fingers–could use a little thrill.

Santa Trata, 711 S. Stony Point Road, Santa Rosa. Open daily, 7am to 9pm. 707. 575.8792.



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Quick-and-dirty dashes through North Bay restaurants. These aren’t your standard “bring five friends and order everything on the menu” dining reviews.

News Briefs

November 29-December 5, 2006

Art: it’s the law

Developers of new commercial projects in Santa Rosa will have to spend 1 percent of their costs on public art, either at the site or by contributing to a city fund. Last week the Santa Rosa City Council agreed unanimously to create a downtown arts district of just over a square mile, from Railroad Square to Brookwood Avenue, and College Avenue to Bennett Valley Road. The council also voted 4-3 to require large commercial developments citywide to pay 0.5 percent the first year and 1 percent thereafter. That will be added to $280,000 in redevelopment funds already earmarked for the new arts district. Arts Council of Sonoma president Michael Friedenberg applauds the move. “It’s a very significant step for Santa Rosa in its progress toward being an urban center and the cultural harbor for the North Bay.”

Cash for kids

The folks at Canal Alliance are looking for financial support for their Holiday Gift Fund to bring a little cheer to about 150 youngsters they work with in San Rafael’s largely low-income immigrant Canal neighborhood. The goal is to give each one a $50 gift certificate to a local mall so the kids can buys gifts for themselves or people they love. “We did this last year and it was so great we’re doing it again this year,” says Canal Alliance Events Manager Tracy Brusman. These kids range in age from kindergarten to college, and most are new to this country, Brusman says. “A lot of these kids are trying to do homework and learn English at the same time. They work very hard.” If more money is raised than is needed for the gift certificates, it will be used to support range of community programs, such as childcare, tutoring, parent leadership and English language classes. To contribute, call Brusman at 415.306.0437, e-mail tr***@***********ce.org or mail to Canal Alliance, attn. Holiday Gift Fund, 91 Larkspur St., San Rafael, CA 94901.

Another Wal-Mart?

Recently, the Vallejo City Council approved in-depth environmental and economic studies for a proposed a 393,000-square-foot Wal-Mart supercenter at the corner of Redwood Street and Sonoma Boulevard in Vallejo. That’s just four miles from a 176,000-square-foot Wal-Mart now under construction in American Canyon, just east of Highway 29 in Napa; it’s slated to open in a few months. Wal-Mart officials reportedly say the two supercenters would not overlap, because they will serve different market areas.


Letters to the Editor

November 29-December 5, 2006

The Greek goes on

In his letter, (Nov. 22), Christian Kallen makes a valuable point about how small interest groups can affect the public’s access to information. Very true, but thankfully he admits to taking the matter personally, because ultimately, his anecdote is off the point of the letters he addresses.

The letters responding to Alastair Bland’s (Oct. 18) didn’t come off as antagonistic spam at all. In fact, they offered a real critique of the article’s shortcomings. One of these is an oversimplification/misreading of Homer’s story itself. This is excusable–even arguable–but the letter on which Kallen focuses, Remy Wallace’s, points to a more serious issue that isn’t about Greeks, Greece or special interest groups. Wallace’s letter was, in general terms, about “the American in the world.” The letter exposes specific examples in Bland’s writing that are hallmarks of an increasingly audacious sense of entitlement and superiority as the U.S. projects its imperialistic values globally. The clever idea of Bland’s “Mythic Journey” may seem harmless enough in itself, but, as Wallace points out, his assumptions are indicative of a larger problem.

It may be that Bland simply chose the wrong text for his intellectual explorations. A more apt Homeric blueprint for how to be an American in the world today would have been the Iliad. That story is about a nation that has followed two powerful men across the sea to remove one person from one city; in the end, as the area’s resources are at stake, they find themselves embroiled in a bloodbath for many years. So, which of these cultures is the archaic one?

Shaun Bond, Santa Rosa

Tangled up in blue

At the end of (“The High Price of Low-Cost Meth,” Nov. 15), she quotes “Catherine,” who was victimized by a meth user: “Why are people choosing this drug? Why are people choosing this lifestyle?” Insightfully, Catherine suggests that we need to get at meth use “from the root.”

I’ll offer this: Much research indicates that the root here, as well as with excessive alcohol, marijuana, cocaine and heroin use, choking highs and the like, is disconnection. People who get into these life-ways may hang out with other people (after all, “Brandy” had three kids and various boyfriends), but not people who care much about them. Methods that are effective in changing these folks’ lives invariably are based on intense group involvement: 12-step programs, religious redemption programs, etc.

Americans have a love-hate attitude toward such involvement. We can see the value in belonging to some sort of caring network, while at the same time we don’t like being “tied down” to such networks. Freedom, we demand.

Well, freedom often means, as Janis Joplin once sang, having “nothing left to lose.” I think many meth users feel that they have nothing left to lose. Experience has taught them not to put much value on their lives, and no one is arguing with them about this assessment.

Don MacQueen, Santa Rosa

To catch a thief

Your latest article on ID theft was very interesting. I am glad that the victim “Catherine” was able to pursue and recover her stolen articles. Maybe the police should set up some sting operations where such offenses happen.

Moreover, I congratulate “Catherine” on being able to beat the crap out of the thief.

Walt Schivo, Novato

A generation’s duty

I couldn’t shake one questions from my mind last Sunday night: “Where are the young people?” was speaking! In a time of an illegal and now unpopular war, where were the kids the age of the majority of the soldiers over there? Where were the friends, siblings, spouses and peers of the young people serving America?

Mr. Ellsberg warned us of the replication of lies, cover-ups and the mismanagement of information that is currently occurring. Many of the events are strikingly similar to those that happened during the Vietnam War, his area of expertise. “Do not think that the war is over,” he cautioned us. Just because the Democrats are back in the picture doesn’t promise the end of military missions in Iraq.

Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed my evening with the hearty, silver-haired wine drinkers of the community. I gathered an abundance of opinions, life stories and motivational bits of advice. But I felt apologetic as the youngest person there. During the Vietnam War, it was the younger generation that was a catalyst in the antiwar movement.

At age 24, I feel it is my generation’s duty to at least be present and paying attention. The duplication of the America government lying to the American people about our own war needs to be halted by those who are brave enough to tell the truth.

Sylvia C. Frain, Sebastopol

Dept. of Corrections

In , we managed two major boo-boos. First, we must apologize mightily to the elegant Ms. Adela Kras for bungling her Christian name. Secondly, we bow to the good folks at Atelier Marin. More logical than we, their hours are actually long in the winter, short in the spring and summer.

The Ed., All I Can Do With My Hands is Type


Bravo, Brava!

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the arts | stage |

By David Templeton

Neil Simon’s The Sunshine Boys is one of those shows that lives or dies on the experience and excellence of its cast. The play, which premiered in 1972 and was made into an Oscar-winning film in 1975, features two of Simon’s trickiest, most difficult-to-play characters. Al Lewis and Willie Clark are aging vaudevillians, legendary one-time comedy partners who’ve not spoken to one another in over 11 years, but are brought together one last time for a live television show celebrating the history of comedy.

They are irritable, irrational, forgetful, frustrating, stubborn, selfish, angry, sorry, sick and (in one of their cases) borderline senile. There are very few actors who can take a complex heap of traits such as these and play them all competently and believably, and even fewer who can then make the whole thing funny. And this play demands two of them.

In the Pacific Alliance Stage Company’s first-rate production of The Sunshine Boys, under the confident direction of Hector Correa, the lead actors achieve more than mere competence. As Lewis and Clark, veteran Bay Area actors Bob Parnell and Will Marchetti give what probably will go down as the best two performances of the year, not just in the North Bay, but anywhere.

If that sounds like hyperbole, let me add that since January of this year, I’ve seen more than 65 plays across the Bay Area, several in Ashland and a dozen in Los Angeles, and though I have been dazzled by some of the performances I’ve seen, none has matched the lived-in brilliance and convincing humanity of these two performances. In the movie version, Lewis and Clark were played by George Burns and Walter Matthau. They were good; Burns won an Oscar.Parnell and Marchetti are better.

Thankfully, the supporting players are no slouches. As Ben Silverman, Clark’s long-suffering nephew and would-be agent, Sam Misner holds his own against the old-timers, and though his character exists primarily as the straight man to the two feisty vaudevillians, Misner delivers his share of Simon’s patented one-liners with plenty of zing and polish. Shannon Veon Kase gives two spirited performances, first as a comically sex-pot nurse in the duo’s television sketch, and then as a no-nonsense registered nurse who appears later in the play. As the TV show’s harried director and stagehand, Daniel Riviera and David Wigginton, respectively, deliver the goods in small but important parts. For fans of sure-footed acting that avoids the pitfalls of artificial flash and hamminess, this is the show to see.

One more current example of top-notch performances in difficult shows can be found in Santa Rosa Junior College’s sensational staging of the Romeo and Juliet-informed West Side Story, another show that depends on solid performances to save it from embarrassing failure. From the opening moments of the show–impressively directed by Leira V. Satlof–one knows this is not just a run-of-the-mill JC theater effort. The outrageously acrobatic street-fight choreography by Lara Branen would challenge and exhaust Broadway professionals, but the athletic young cast of street toughs is up to the task, led by Guy Henry as the Jets’ passive-aggressive gang leader Riff and Eduardo Rico as the Shark’s angry-charming Bernardo.

In the lead role of Tony, the love-struck ex-gang member who falls for the Puerto Rican sister of Bernardo, Zachary Franczak plays the innocent, dreamier side of the character to good effect. As a singer, Franczak grows stronger with each number in the show, and is especially moving in the beautiful love song “Maria” and the stirring duet “One Hand, One Heart.”

Emily Brown as Maria, however, walks off with the show. Though still in high school, she is nothing short of electrifying. Her singing is superbly confident, and you will be hard-pressed to find a more beautiful rendition of “I Have a Love.” As an actress, she is heartbreakingly convincing and heartbreakingly genuine.

With West Side Story as a follow-up to last month’s remarkable Last Days of Judas Iscariot, the JC’s sometimes underambitious theater arts program appears to be well on its way to a very strong year. Good for them, and good for us.

‘The Sunshine Boys’ runs through Dec. 10 at Spreckels Performing Arts Center, 5409 Snyder Lane, Rohnert Park. Thursday at 7:30pm; Friday-Saturday at 8pm; Sunday at 2:30pm. $18-$21; Thursday, $16. 707.588.3400. ‘West Side Story’ runs Wednesday-Sunday through Dec. 3 at Santa Rosa Junior College’s Burbank Auditorium, 1501 Mendocino Ave., Santa Rosa. Nov. 29-30 and Dec. 1-2 at 8pm; also Dec. 2-3 at 2pm. $8-$15. 707.527.4343.



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Museums and gallery notes.


Reviews of new book releases.


Reviews and previews of new plays, operas and symphony performances.


Reviews and previews of new dance performances and events.

Open Mic

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November 29-December 5, 2006

Human rights belong to people collectively. To believe in rights for some and not others is a denial of the humanness of people worldwide. Yet denial is exactly what Congress and George W. Bush did with the signing of the Military Commissions Act of 2006. The new official U.S. policy is that torture and suspension of due process are acceptable for anyone whom the president deems to be a terrorist or supporter. This act is the overt denial of the inalienable rights of human beings propagated in our Declaration of Independence and the Universal Declaration of Human Rights.

Our famous words “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness” did not declare that some men (and women) are without unalienable rights. Our independence was founded on the belief that all men and women are recognized by this nation as having innate rights derived from their humanness.

Likewise, the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, created by the United Nations in 1948 and signed and ratified by the U.S. Congress, specifies in its preamble that “recognition of the inherent dignity and of the equal and inalienable rights of all members of the human family is the foundation of freedom, justice and peace in the world.”

The Universal Declaration of Human Rights has been a guide for international law for most of six decades, and as such binds the United States to its general principles. Article 10 states that “everyone is entitled to full equality, to a fair and public hearing by an independent and impartial tribunal, in the determination of his rights and obligations and of any criminal charge against him,” and Article 5 specifically prohibits torture or cruel, inhuman or degrading treatment or punishment.

For the U.S. government to unilaterally declare that our country will not comply with international human-rights laws nor uphold the core values of our nation’s foundation is an indication of extremism that supercedes the values and beliefs of the American people. When such extremism exists, we may need to take seriously the founders’ declaration that “to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.”

The U.S. government is actively torturing people to death. One need only read the 44 official U.S. military autopsy reports on civilian detainees from Afghanistan and Iraq in 2002 to 2004 posted on the American Civil Liberties website to see the horrendous details of deaths by “strangulation,” “asphyxiation” and “blunt force injuries.”

The Military Commission Act retroactively approved the use of torture to the beginning of the 9-11 wars. Congress’s reaction to the ACLU report in October of 2005 was to pass legislation banning further use of the Freedom of Information Act to request documents on current military operations from the Defense Intelligence Agency.

We are in a time of extremism, permanent war and the unilateral manifestation of ethnocentrism and power by an openly public cabal of people in the U.S. government. Those in power are set on the U.S. military domination of the world. They seem willing to defy the foundational values of the American people to achieve their ends. We have no choice but to openly declare our belief in universal human rights and demand the immediate impeachment of George W. Bush and Richard Cheney, and a full accounting of those in their administration.

Peter Phillips is a professor of sociology at Sonoma State University and the director of Project Censored. He is co-editor with Dennis Loo of the new book ‘Impeach the President: The Case Against Bush and Cheney,’ available on the ProjectCensored.org website.The Byrne Report will return next week.


Ask Sydney

November 28-December 5, 2006 Dear Sydney, I recently went to the quilt exhibit at the De Young Museum. This town in Appalachia was extremely isolated and the women turned old jeans, dish towels, etc., into quilts. In the video interviews, one of the women said, "We were poor, but we were happy. People today have lots of things, but they're...

Dark Green

November 29-December 5, 2006If there were a television commercial for marijuana, you could imagine it featuring some good-looking adults passing a joint around a dinner table, laughing and having fun while a pro-pot celebrity like Woody Harrelson or Lenny Kravitz walked on with a knowing smile and made a pitch for smoking herb. "Pot. It's natural. It's organic. The...

Ottocrat’s Honor

November 29-December 5, 2006People complain, as people ought to do, about the MPAA's rating system, but it replaces a system that was even more restrictive than what we've got now. Producer and director Otto Preminger, a constant warrior against censorship, is celebrated with a four-film fest of newly restored films running Dec. 1-3 at the Smith Rafael Film Center....

On Loving the Simpsons

November 29-December 5, 2006The father is fat, bald and alcoholic. The son is a 10-year-old criminal. The drawings are minimal. From that start, the next evolution in animation began in 1987. It's been two decades since The Tracey Ullman Show ran a series of short cartoons concerning the day-to-day misery of the Simpson family from Springfield, U.S.A. To this...

Life in the Checkout Lane

November 29-December 5, 2006 Once upon a time in the early 1970s, hundreds of independent record stores around America stocked albums by a country-rock band from Los Angeles. A series of hits, sold hand over fist through the recommendation of the retail owners and employees who were confident in the band's greatness, gave birth to an AM-radio legend. That legend,...

First Bite

News Briefs

November 29-December 5, 2006 Art: it's the law Developers of new commercial projects in Santa Rosa will have to spend 1 percent of their costs on public art, either at the site or by contributing to a city fund. Last week the Santa Rosa City Council agreed unanimously to create a downtown arts district of just over a square mile,...

Letters to the Editor

November 29-December 5, 2006The Greek goes on In his letter, (Nov. 22), Christian Kallen makes a valuable point about how small interest groups can affect the public's access to information. Very true, but thankfully he admits to taking the matter personally, because ultimately, his anecdote is off the point of the letters he addresses. The letters responding to...

Bravo, Brava!

the arts | stage | By David Templeton ...

Open Mic

November 29-December 5, 2006Human rights belong to people collectively. To believe in rights for some and not others is a denial of the humanness of people worldwide. Yet denial is exactly what Congress and George W. Bush did with the signing of the Military Commissions Act of 2006. The new official U.S. policy is that torture and suspension of...
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