Letters to the Editor: November 27, 2013

Tragedy’s Legacy

Thank you for Steve Bhaerman’s article on John F. Kennedy and his horrific assassination 50 years ago on the streets of Dallas (“A Dream Interrupted,” Nov. 18). Like so many other citizens, Bhaerman is well aware that the murder of our 35th president was not the work of a lone lunatic firing from behind Kennedy’s motorcade.

Doctors who worked furiously at Parkland Hospital to try to save the dying chief executive understood that at least two shots came from in front of the president. These were trauma room doctors who knew well a bullet’s entrance wound from an exit wound. Dr. Malcolm Perry, who performed the tracheotomy on the president’s throat, stated three times in a press conference a short time after Kennedy expired that the throat wound was a wound of entrance.

Dr. Robert McClelland, another respected physician in Trauma Room One that day—and the only surviving doctor who attended JFK that day—has always stated unequivocally that the president had a huge hole in the right rear of his skull consistent with a frontal shot. Also, Dallas Police Chief Jesse Curry would argue that there was never any conclusive proof that Lee Harvey Oswald, who was in the Texas Book Depository at the time of the assassination, ever had a rifle in his hand that day. In fact, paraffin tests showed that Oswald could not have fired a rifle on Nov. 22, 1963. Witnesses to the killing of Officer Tippit were not easily able to identify Oswald as Tippit’s assailant, and some of those witnesses saw two assailants of the policeman.

Bhaerman is correct to call attention to James W. Douglass’s JFK and the Unspeakable. Douglass’s book is a profound work of investigative research and an indispensable tome for any thinking citizen who wishes to more fully understand the political and historical context of JFK’s assassination. John F. Kennedy’s turn to peacemaking was viewed as heresy by unyielding cold warriors, of which there were many in the CIA, the Pentagon and his own administration. His death was a tragic loss for our country and the world. It is up to us to carry on the critical work of peace and justice for ourselves and our children.

Seattle, Wash.

Sneak Peek

Efren Carrillo is an accident waiting to happen . . . again (“No Peeking,” Nov. 6). What is going to do next? He should be cut off from any public salary now. He is a liability, and a walking time bomb.

Via online

NIMBYism Away

It sounds like both sides have more communicating to do over this center (“Dreams on Hold,” Nov. 20), but I can’t wash the aroma of NIMBY-ism off my fingers after reading about it. Are there any studies proving that homeless youth centers drive down property values? I wouldn’t be surprised if that’s the neighbors’ real concern.

Via online

For the Earth

It’s not often that you get to meet real, live eco-warriors. A couple weeks ago, we students from Nonesuch School in Sebastopol were lucky enough to tour the Rainbow Warrior, one of Greenpeace’s ships that was docked in San Francisco harbor. Greenpeace sails the oceans staging peaceful but daring protests, currently against oil drilling in the Arctic.

On Sept. 19, 30 people (“The Arctic 30”) on one of their ships were arrested by Russian authorities. The ship was seized, and everyone aboard charged with piracy, although they were in International waters. They were bearing witness and documenting the first Russian arctic offshore drilling operation. Later charges were reduced to hooliganism which carries a jail sentence of seven years. Some crew members have been released on bail, but we encourage people to research the Arctic 30 and support the cause of freeing all of them. Their actions were taken on behalf of the planet and everyone who wants to live on it.

In a month when climate change has hit so hard, with the Philippines suffering a devastating typhoon, and the Midwest reeling from killer tornadoes, Greenpeace stands strong, and their work grows ever more important.

Sebastopol

Write to us at le*****@******an.com.

Walter Hansel Winery

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In the Russian River Valley as in Burgundy, there’s a difference between a north slope and a south slope. And there’s a difference between a long a and a short a. For several years I wondered, what is this Walter Hansel, quietly growing Pinot Noir and Chardonnay just west of Santa Rosa? Turns out, I’d been thinking of a Germanic pronunciation: “HAHN-zel.” Instead, as commonly spoken in these parts, it’s a red-blooded short a (as in Lina Lamont’s Singin’ in the Rain plaint “I keeeian’t steeeiand it!”). Oh—Hansel, as in the folks who have been selling cars to Sonoma County residents since 1961!

Proprietor Stephen Hansel grew up across the road from this plain, utilitarian winery, where he meets a group of visitors gathered around an upturned wine barrel on a weekday morning. Some only know about his Parker scores, and this is their first trip east of Napa. Hansel explains that after the wine turned out particularly good when Tom Rochioli farmed the family’s just-for-kicks half acre one year, they asked, “What did you do different?” Thus began Hansel’s education in the finer points of grape farming, which he explains in a way that makes you feel you’re getting straight talk, no slick salesmanship. If Hansel said the Chardonnay tastes better with a clear coat option, you might just go for it.

But first, the test drive. The 2011 Cahill Lane Chardonnay ($39) is characterized by concession-stand popcorn, while the 2011 Cuvée Alyce Chardonnay ($39), named for Hansel’s mother (“She was over the top, she drank whisky, she didn’t drink wine”) sizzles with lemon-drizzled apples.

The Pinot is where it really winds up. The 2011 Cahill Lane Pinot Noir ($39) is a pretty little spicy root beer and cherry cola number; the 2011 Cuvée Alyce Pinot Noir ($39) darkly perfumed with cranberry-black cherry, finishes silky-strawberry, with lingering tension on the tongue. And then Hansel thieves some 2012 samples out of barrel. The unusually fair price point—given all the Parker name dropping—will be held as long as practicable.

The plain talk at the barrel-top tasting, however, is no longer the whole story, now that Hansel’s opened the doors to Walter Hansel Wine & Bistro in the former Zazu location. Here you can wash down oysters cold and warm, cheese plates or Liberty Ducks rillettes with house and other local wines, as well as red and white Burgundy—Hansel doesn’t draw the line at driving a Ford or pushing a Chambolle-Musigny. He’ll sell you both.

Walter Hansel Winery, 5465 Hall Road, Santa Rosa. 707.525.3614. Visits by appointment only; no fee. Bistro, 3535 Guerneville Road, Santa Rosa. Wednesday–Sunday, 5–10pm. Entrées, $16–$26. 707.546.6462.

C’mon Baby!

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Certain bands have between-song banter that proves just as entertaining, if not moreso, than their songs. I have a friend who’s memorized every spoken interlude on Kiss Alive!, Fugazi is the subject of a much-shared download (“Ice cream-eating motherfucker, that’s what you are”), and Guided by Voices released an album entirely of their singer’s hilarious rants.

Enter Sonoma’s raucous, debauched Paulie Hips & the Childbearers, a dirty-fuzzy-glammy hard rock band whose namesake frontman keeps the oooh-yeawuh and awwwl-ryyyite tradition alive with wild abandon. Sure, they play places like the Blue Moon Saloon, the Olde Sonoma House and the Moose Lodge, but when Mr. Hips starts a frenzy of urgent yelping or dedicating songs to Huey Newton, one could imagine they’re in Detroit’s Cobo Arena itself.

Paulie Hips & the Childbearers are the featured attraction at Gundlach-Bundschu’s “MonMOMental Movember Shave-Off” this week, in which gentlemen who’ve participated in the annual November tradition of growing a mustache for charity ceremoniously have said flavor-saver shaved. A photo booth, prizes and wine round out the event—oops, I mean, the “lightnin’ hard rock ‘n’ roll explosion, awwwyyeah!”—on Saturday, Nov. 30, at Gundlach-Bundchu Winery. 2000 Denmark St., Sonoma. 2–4pm. Free. 707.938.5277.

Yellow Submachine

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In the aftermath of the shooting of 13-year-old Andy Lopez at the hands of a Sonoma County Sheriff’s Deputy, state senator and former Santa Rosa city councilwoman Noreen Evans (pictured) has co-authored a bill that would require all BB, pellet and airsoft guns sold in the state to be painted a bright color to avoid confusion with their deadly counterparts.

Evans and State Sen. Kevin de Leon, D-Los Angeles, announced last week they plan to reintroduce the legislation in January. Lopez was shot and killed by the deputy after his replica assault rifle proved indistinguishable from a real weapon. “Because the use of lethal force against a person carrying an imitation firearm is a significant threat to public safety,” says Evans, “toys must look like toys and not lethal weapons.” The only federal regulation of toy guns requires they must be affixed with an orange tip, something missing from the toy Lopez carried. In California, only nonfiring toy guns (such as squirt guns) are required to be brightly colored.

Legislation similar to the proposed Imitation Firearm Safety Act was signed into law by Gov. Jerry Brown last year after a 2010 tragedy in Los Angeles similar to the one in Santa Rosa. That legislation (SB 1315), authored by de Leon, allows for cities within Los Angeles County to put the issue to a vote. A spokeswoman from de Leon’s office, however, says not one of the cities has done so yet, possibly for fear of a lawsuit by the NRA. A similar, statewide bill (SB 798) was introduced and voted down in committee in 2011. It was opposed by—big surprise—the NRA, who argued that parts of real guns are now being manufactured in different colors, and this legislation would only endanger public safety officers.

Remembering a Literary Legend

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It’s not every day that Nobel Prize winners for literature come to Sonoma County—and not everyday that one has the opportunity to play host and show them around.

But that’s what I did with Doris Lessing about 10 years ago when she spoke on the campus of SSU. I showed her around Northern California, which reminded her of Southern Rhodesia, where she was raised. When she came here to visit, she hadn’t yet won the Nobel Prize, but she had written more than 40 books, including The Golden Notebook, her big and wonderful novel about political crack-up and emotional crisis. Winning the Nobel didn’t change her one iota. She never wrote for fame, for prizes or for money, but to wake readers to harsh realities, including the reality of global environmental destruction.

To make her messages go down easy, she couched her late narratives as “space fiction.” The books were set on distant planets that had uncanny resemblances to Earth. The fact that Lessing came to Sonoma—and that she traveled relentlessly around the world, meeting readers and talking to her audience—says a lot about her generosity and her curiosity. She came here to find out how we lived in California, and how she might live, too.

From 1950 until her death last week, she lived and wrote in London, but she seriously thought about moving to California.

She never wrote the same book twice, never repeated herself and always urged writers to tell the truth and to be themselves. I don’t know of another writer who is more of an inspiration to aspiring writers. Lessing never attended a college and never graduated from a University. For the most part, she was self-taught. When she spoke at Sonoma State, she spoke from the heart without pretense. I’ll never forget her, her books, or the day we drove into the hills and across the valleys of Northern California. Now I always see the world in which I live through Lessing’s eyes as a strange and a wonderful land of mystery and poetry.

Jonah Raskin is an author and frequent contributor to the Bohemian.

Open Mic is a weekly op/ed feature in the Bohemian. We welcome your contribution. To have your topical essay of 350 words considered for publication, write op*****@******an.com.

It’s (Maybe) a Wrap

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It happens every few years: we look in our closet, attic or garage, or those two boxes we’ve been lugging around for the past three moves and have forgotten what’s inside, and we say, “Damn, I should have listened to George Carlin. I have too much stuff.”

The holidays, of course, are all about stuff. “Stuffy stuffy stuff stuff!” shout the holidays, “Buy more stuff!”

For this year’s Gift Guide, we haven’t eschewed material gifts altogether, but you’ll find a healthy mix of experiences along with must-have presents that one can wrap in a box. Most of those experiences are entirely local—and along that thought, we continue to remind readers to seek out the locally owned, independent shops for tactile gifts. (In fact, next week’s issue is devoted entirely to that very ethos.)

Here are a few of our recommendations this year.

GLUED TO THE SCREEN

Chromecast ($35) is a tiny, USB-powered HDMI dongle that’s inexpensive and streams anything in Google’s Chrome browser, from any device, directly to a television. It’s a little buggy, and there isn’t as much support for it as one might like just yet, but it makes hanging out and watching YouTube videos with friends a whole lot more social. Of course, web-to-TV devices have been around for several years, the two other big ones being Apple TV and the Roku box. . . . Apple TV ($99) does basically the same thing as Chromecast, but it’s more of a set-top box designed to replace or augment cable TV. It allows wireless mirroring from any Apple device, and has apps for streaming services like Netflix and Hulu. . . . Roku ($50–$100) does basically the same thing, again, minus the mirroring—it’s purely an app-driven box, but it has more choices, costs less and still offers the best interface of the three. . . . The PlayStation 4 ($399), no longer just for video games, can also act as a web-to-TV interface. With an eight-core processor and sleek, modern design, it’s a natural progression from the PS3. It plays Blu-Ray movies and games, connects online for downloading apps for streaming services and more. Users can easily record and share up to 15 minutes of game play, which will only add to the amount of popular YouTube videos of in-game play. . . . Microsoft’s Xbox One ($500; microsoftstore.com) is a similar gaming console but integrates paid TV service (like cable) and comes with the Kinect motion and voice controller. Instead of a remote, users just flail their arms at the TV and speak like people in old movies trying to talk to natives on a tropical island. . . . It’s not available on PS4 or Xbox One just yet, but Grand Theft Auto V ($60) is the hottest game, well, ever. The lives of the multiple protagonists are so detailed, each even uses a different cell phone based on personality type. Up to 16 players can play online simultaneously, and there will be plenty of potential teammates in this virtual world—the game earned $1 billion in sales its first three days on the market.
—Nicolas Grizzle

ON THE STEREO

The world’s music listeners are spinning records again, as Billboard reports vinyl sales in 2012 to have skyrocketed 500 percent since 2007. There’s a chance you’ve got someone on your list asking for physical albums again, and luckily the music industry has responded. Many major new releases are pressed on LP now, including Lorde, M.I.A., Pearl Jam, Justin Timberlake, Katy Perry, Paul McCartney and plenty more—and reissues of classic material abound. For electronic music fans, the recent Boards of Canada reissues are perfect pressings of very hard-to-find albums, while world music fans will be thrilled with the just-released Manu Chao back catalogue. The BeatlesAt the BBC, Vol. 2 is fresh, too, as is Bob Dylan‘s Another Self-Portrait and the Grateful Dead‘s One From the Vault (a deluxe three-LP set). The German site Vinyl-Digital carries a number of rare hip-hop bootlegs from Drake, Kendrick Lamar and Frank Ocean, and Nashville’s Third Man Records has a box set designed to give palpitations to any blues fan: ‘The Rise and Fall of Paramount Records 1917-1932 Vol. 1’ contains six LPs, a 250-page book, another 360-page book and a USB drive designed to look like a Victrola needle. The whole thing’s housed in a quarter-sewn, velvet-lined oak cabinet, and costs a whopping-but-worth-it $400. . . . Shopping for the beginner who needs a turntable? Avoid cheap portable Crosley turntables, or just about any unit sold at Urban Outfitters. A nice introductory record player is the Audio-Technica AT-LP60-USB, priced at around $175 (and available locally at the Last Record Store). It’s solid, durable and comes with a USB output to digitize older records. . . . This has been a good year for music books. Questlove, drummer for the Roots, has released two: an autobiography called ‘Mo’ Meta Blues: The World According to Questlove, and the definitive story of Don Cornelius’ pioneering show, ‘Soul Train: The Music, Dance and Style of a Generation. . . . Morrissey‘s long-awaited autobiography has cross-generational appeal, and no one writes quite as beautifully, or miserably. . . . Stanley Crouch’s ‘Kansas City Lightning: The Rise and Times of Charlie Parker’ is a remarkable, in-depth book about jazz’s towering visionary, and ‘The Riot Grrrl Collection’ serves as a comprehensive anthology of a turning point in punk and indie rock. . . . finally, Bernie Krause’s ‘Great Animal Orchestra’ was reprinted this year, and weaves together the sounds of nature with modern music; if you were blown away by that popular Facebook post of a recording of crickets slowed down, sounding like human voices, this book is for you. . . . Much like Miles Scott simply asked “I want to be Batkid,” your teenager might simply ask, “I want to make beats.” The best new software to realize this wish includes ACID Music Studio 9, which interacts well with MIDI and live instruments; FL Studio, which is perfect for beginners but lacks more specialized editing capabilities; and Mixcraft 6, which has a huge library of sounds. Don’t forget headphones—if you want something cheaper (and better) than the ubiquitous Beats By Dre models, go for our recommendation: Audio-Technica’s ATH-M50 Headphones, which are crisp, dynamic and should last for years to come.—Gabe Meline

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THE GREAT OUTDOORS

Every family has one. That relative who’d rather be camped out by a lake, roasting hot dogs over an open fire, than doing anything else. How about a tiny, backpack-friendly Bush Smarts Game Kit ($35; www.bushsmarts.com) to keep them entertained under the stars? It comes with miniature cards, dice and a score pad for dozens of different games, promising hours of entertainment. . . . Don’t underestimate the power of a really good lantern. The 1.1-pound Goal Zero Lighthouse 250 ($80; www.goalzero.com) casts a strong light for up to 48 hours and can be hand-cranked back to life in a pinch; a built-in USB hub makes for easy charging. . . . Outdoor adventures in the summer usually involve mucking about in water. The Astral Porter ($85; www.astraldesigns.com) is a water shoe that actually looks cool and dries in the blink of an eye. . . . Anyone who’s spent a sleepless night in the woods will appreciate the gift of a Therm-a-Rest NeoAir XLite Sleeping Pad ($179.95; www.rei.com). Lightweight, warm and packable, this will make the die-hard backpackers on your list very happy. . . . Seriously, what’s better for camping or traveling than the Izola Sunrise Travel Cup ($18; www.izola.com), a collapsable vessel that can transform from a shot glass into a two-ounce espresso cup in the blink of an eye? . . . I don’t know about you, but I’ve always dreamed of having a sleeping bag that I could wear. Lucky for lazy campers like me, the dream is alive with Poler’s Napsack ($130; www.polerstuff.com). With zippers at the shoulders (the better to stick out your arms), and a cinch at the bottom for easy leg extension, this is a wearable sleeping bag that’ll make those cold mornings on
Mt. Shasta all the more bearable.
—Leilani Clark

EATER’S DELIGHT

‘L.A. Son’ ($30) reads as part memoir, part cookbook from Roy Choi, the man behind the Kogi Taco Truck franchise in Los Angeles. Credited with helping birth the gourmet food truck scene in Southern California, his original, down-to-earth style is as fun to read as his tacos are to eat. . . . Is life like a box of chocolates? Forrest Gump may have been talking about the Russell Stover Gift Box ($13) when he delivered his famous musing, but the Noir Truffle Box ($26) from Recchiuti Confections offers deeper insight. With each bite of these super-gourmet treats, the meaning of life melts into one’s being until the box is empty, and it’s time to rediscover it again. Nine chocolates, including four distinct, single-origin squares, delight even the most discerning of chocolate aficionados. . . . Aspiring Alton Browns will certainly get a kick out of Molecule-R’s Molecular Gastronomy Kit ($59). With tools like pipettes, tubing and silicon molds, and additives like agar-agar, calcium lactate and soy lecithin, home chef becomes mad scientist in the virtual kitchens of El Bulli. Nobody will judge you for laughing maniacally while turning food into spheres, emulsifications and deconstructed versions of their former selves. . . . If you want food to look pretty, you had best prep correctly. It’s easy to do with Fred & Friends’ Obsessive Chef Cutting Board ($26), which features angled guides for slicing, grids for dicing and fine lines for assisting with that exact julienne. Ants on a Log becomes exactly seven ants on a 3.5-inch log; baguettes will be cut into one-inch rounds at precisely 45-degrees; and most importantly, when your food and beverage director asks for an equal amount of blueberries in each muffin, he will get an equal amount of blueberries in each muffin.
—Nicolas Grizzle

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BETWEEN THE LIONS

For the avid reader, nothing beats the gift of a new book or a subscription to a magazine or journal. ‘N+1, a literary journal that’s been around since 2004, combines politics, literature and culture into one seamless reading experience (www.nplusonemag.com). For those who enjoy edgy, contemporary writing, there’s an abundance of options, including ‘Pank’ (www.pankmagazine.com), ‘The Los Angeles Review’ (www.losangelesreview.org), ‘The Normal School’ www.thenormalschool.com) and ‘Annalemma’ (www.annalemma.net). Locally, the ‘West Marin Review’ is always a solid choice (www.westmarinreview.org). Environmentally conscious folks will love a year-long subscription to ‘Yes! Magazine, ‘The Sun, ‘Orion’ or the ‘Earth Island Journal. . . . Or how about a bestselling book? A decade in the making, ‘The Goldfinch’ (Little, Brown; $30) by enigmatic writer Donna Tartt, has received rave reviews since its publication last month. Inspired by a painting in New York City’s Frick Collection, it tells the story of Theo Decker, who miraculously survives an accident that kills his mother and is eventually drawn into the art underworld. ‘Dissident Gardens’ (Doubleday; $27.95) by acclaimed author Jonathan Lethem relays the epic saga of a family of radicals in New York. ‘The Stud Book’ (Hogarth Books; $17.50) by Monica Drake takes a darkly humorous look at a group of friends in Portland as they deal with the onslaught of middle age, marriage and whether or not to procreate in a climate-change ravaged world that will probably end by 2030. ‘The Good Lord Bird’ (Riverhead; $16.98) by James McBride, narrated by an escaped slave during the John Brown Harper’s Ferry era, won the National Book Award for fiction and is a good choice for historical fiction lovers. Out now on Kelly’s Cove Press, ‘A Raid on the Oyster Pirates’ ($15) features an original story by Jack London. First published in 1905 and now in the public domain, the story has been illustrated with new drawings and watercolors by William T. Wiley. An excellent gift idea for kids or London/Wiley fans alike. . . . Finally, the commuter in your life—the one who catches up on all of her book reading with ears instead of eyes—will love a subscription to Audible.com ($14.95; www.audible.com), an audio book repository with loads of literary choices.—Leilani Clark

‘SCUSE ME WHILE I KISS THE SKY

Humankind may be kings of the land, but can we conquer the skies and seas as well?

These gifts include freefalling through the skies higher than any bird is brave enough to fly and diving deeper in the ocean than the toughest shark himself. Starting at altitudes of 10,000 feet in the wild blue yonder and flying at up to 120 miles per hour, NorCal Skydiving offers tandem skydiving gift cards ($169–$199) for the more adventurous among one’s friends. After the parachute opens, the peace and serenity of canopy flight ensues, with spectacular views of the Pacific Ocean, steam from the geysers, the glaciers of Mount Shasta, Tomales Bay, the Russian River and the lush valleys of Napa and Sonoma. . . . For a little less speed, but with breathtaking views, California Hang Gliding offers tandem hang gliding ($275) that includes an in-action video of your experience to take home. Soaring off the cliffs of Mt. Tamalpais, your only job is to relax and enjoy the ride full of beautiful birds-eye-views unmatched by those seen from the ground. . . . Perhaps an adrenaline rush isn’t what you are looking for but you still seek unbelievable views. Seaplane Adventures ($179–$589) offers a helicopter ride with a Golden Gate tour, sunset Champagne tour, greater Bay Area tour, NorCal coastal tour and winetasting tour. The tours take off from Sausalito and are good to keep in mind for visiting relatives. . . . For an even more hands-on helicopter experience, Sonoma Helicopter ($300-$600) offers gift certificates for not only tours but flight training, during which you’ll ride in an R22 helicopter with an instructor, learning and actually flying the aircraft with your own hands. . . . Soaring over the beautiful countryside, hot air balloons are a prime way to float up into the skies. In a wicker gondola high in the air, the serene ride is almost always capped with a glass of Champagne. The North Bay has an abundance of hot-air balloon rides from any of these locally owned companies: Napa Valley Balloons ($215), Napa Valley Drifters ($205), Balloons Above the Valley ($159–$209), Napa Valley Aloft Balloon Rides ($150–$245) and Calistoga Balloons ($219–$349). . . . For an adventure not quite so high in the skies, zip-lining combines adrenaline and speed while gliding through the forest and, in the case of Sonoma Canopy Tours ($59–$99), taking in the beauty of NorCal’s coastal redwoods. . . . Maybe you’ve got someone on your list who wants to “fly through the air with the greatest of ease”? In the shade of an oak grove next to a babbling brook, Trapeze Pro ($40) offers flying trapeze classes, a circus art in a picturesque environment. . . . We have better maps of the surface of Mars than we do of our own ocean floor. Under the surface of the sea are entirely new worlds, waiting for us to explore what it has to offer—a kind of mysterious and untouched beauty not found on land. Getting scuba certified is the first step to ocean exploration, and training and open water classes for certification are available at Marin Diving Center ($149), Harbor Dive Center ($315) and Sonoma Coast Divers ($189).
— Tara Kaveh

OTHER BOXLESS WONDERS

It might sound like the voiceover in a cheesy commercial, but seriously, why not give the gift of an experience to your loved ones over the holidays, rather than a big, plastic thingamabob packaged in a thousand layers of bubble wrap? For the grandparents, especially the ones that live nearby, a spot in a music class with their favorite grandchild is something they’ll never forget. This year, I sprung for a Mini Music class for my mother-
in-law and my daughter (www.minimusictime.com). For just $160, they’ll get 10 weeks of music, movement, fun and bonding; classes take place in both Sonoma and Marin counties. Grandma’s gonna love that much more than another pair of slippers. . . . Another option is a membership to the Bay Area Discovery Museum (www.baykidsmuseum.org). Family memberships are $150 and include year-round admission. Likewise, the Schulz Museum offers memberships starting at $40. . . . Outdoor enthusiasts will love an annual parks pass to either the state or regional parks system. A membership to Sonoma County Regional Parks (parks.sonomacounty.ca.gov) runs $69 and provides year-round opportunity to enjoy the multitude of parks in the area with extra perks. The Marin County Parks (www.marincounty.org) pass is $85 and provides access to miles of gorgeous nature. . . . OK, so you’ve got a sister who isn’t into camping and hates taking classes, but loves getting her hair and nails done. A gift certificate to a happening nail salon, one that offers fabulous nail art manicures, might be just the ticket. Try Nail Art Spa (707.526.3808) in Santa Rosa or Queen Nails (707.255.1826) in Napa. . . . Art aficionados will be happy to receive a membership to the Sonoma County Museum ($40; www.sonomacountymuseum.org), the Sonoma Valley Museum of Art ($30–$35; www.svma.org) or the di Rosa Preserve (Starting at $50; www.dirosaart.org). . . . You also can’t go wrong with gift certificates for the movies, a cooking class, a concert or a massage, especially for those who rarely take time out for themselves. The gift of self-care and a night out can be the best gift of all.—Leilani Clark

Spirit, Rejoice!

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Ominous scaffolding casts shadows across a dimly lit stage. A high, wood-plank bridge spans the spare performance space, steeply raked and surrounded by crates, backstage paraphernalia and festoons of iron chains hanging like clusters of evil fruit. It’s the perfect playground for a Christmas play taking place mainly in Hell.

Such is the set of Marin Theatre Company’s Jacob Marley’s Christmas Carol, directed by Jon Tracy (Strangers, Babies; Terminus). In Tom Mula’s dark, alternative adaptation of Charles Dickens’ Christmas Carol, the familiar story is retold from the point of view of Jacob Marley, Ebenezer Scrooge’s dead business partner. Of course, ghosts, chains and the threat of eternal damnation hang over the original version as well, and both end with a satisfyingly redemptive, catch-in-the-throat climax. But the change of perspective in Mula’s story yields many pleasures and surprises.

Director Tracy, working at a blurring, frenetic pace here, does have a knack for the macabre, and he certainly turns on the darkness. By keeping the stage dim and slightly hazy with smoke, he emphasizes the metaphor, while the actors carry flashlights to illuminate each other’s faces and create some stunning X-Files-type effects.

Rooted in the glorious oratory of Victorian speech, this is the kind of play in which all actors serves as narrator, stepping in and out of character to deliver poetic descriptions and set the rapidly changing scenes.

Marley (Khris Lewin) is dead, and in the afterlife offices of the Record Keeper (Stacy Ross), he learns that he must serve eternity in Hell, his soul doomed to gradually fuse into the locks and cash-boxes to which he devoted his life. When he learns that his only hope of escape is in finding a way to redeem the miserly soul of his partner Scrooge (Nicholas Pelczar), Marley reluctantly accepts the challenge. With the help of a boyish, underworld assistant named the Bogle (Rami Magron), Marley sets out, now a ghost among the living, to try and change the heart of a man even less redeemable than himself.

Cleverly and inventively staged, with the energetic actors serving double-duty as props and scenery, Tracy keeps things visually interesting, though the poor actors’ words fly so fast and furious it’s sometimes hard to separate the moments of true emotion from all the rest. Still, there is much to delight the spirit and stir the senses in this offbeat but large-hearted twist on a beloved classic.

Rating (out of five): ★★★★

Inside Job

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What do you know about the Federal Reserve? For the average American the answer is not much. The documentary Money for Nothing: Inside the Federal Reserve remedies this by explaining the powerful influence of the Fed on the global economy.

Yes, a movie about “the Fed” sounds about as interesting as watching a 72-hour lawn-bowling match, but Money for Nothing drips with intrigue, from secret, high-powered banking meetings to stock market booms (and busts).

Arising out of a secret meeting in 1910 (held on an island, no less) between a senator and the upper echelon of Wall Street, the Federal Reserve was originally instituted as a central bank, one that would set interest rates, regulate banks and “act as a guardian of financial stability and prevent chaos in markets,” according to one economist. In other words, the Fed was steering a Titanic called the U.S. economy, and it hit an iceberg first with the Great Depression, and second in 1971, when Nixon essentially announced the end of the gold standard, which kicked off 10 years of rising inflation and exorbitant interest rates. The third—well, we’re still experiencing the hangover from it.

Most interestingly, the film touches on the deification of Ayn Rand acolyte and Fed chairman Alan Greenspan for his ability to “steer” the economy in a way that led to an unprecedented boom for stock market investments. Greenspan wasn’t afraid of intervening in the market, which at the time was unprecedented in the history of the Fed. Greenspan’s refusal to enforce Sandy Weill’s former foe known as the Glass-Steagall Act—and, ultimately, his push to abolish it—is one of those moments in economic history that continues to have lasting repercussions for millions of average Americans.

‘Money for Nothing: Inside the Federal Reserve’ screens on Tuesday,
Dec. 3, at Rialto Cinemas. 6868 McKinley St., Sebastopol. 7pm.
$7.25–$9.50. 707.525.4840.

Flow Masters

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In Dry Creek Valley, there’s at least one place where a jumble of felled trees doesn’t spell trouble for coho habitat. It’s part of a multimillion dollar project meant to restore Dry Creek’s salmon population—and possibly save the Sonoma County Water Agency an additional $150 million bill.

On Friday, Nov. 22, representatives from four government agencies, the Dry Creek Rancheria Band of Pomo Indians and members of the press gathered by a slow-moving channel just downstream from Warm Springs Dam to witness the release of 2,000 juvenile coho as part of the six-mile Dry Creek Habitat Enhancement Demonstration Project. Dressed in fatigues, U.S. Army Corp of Engineers district commander
Lt. Col. John Baker carefully lowered the first aquarium net full of small, wriggling fish to their uncertain fate.

The impetus behind the effort is a 2008 opinion issued by the National Marine Fisheries Service (NMFS). By 2004, the coho population in the Russian River system had declined to the point where little more than a dozen individuals could be counted. A crash program at the Don Clausen Fish Hatchery at Lake Sonoma has successfully reared coho salmon that return to the hatchery, but that’s just a start. “We want to restart the populations in historic coho salmon streams,” says Derek Acomb, an environmental scientist with the California Department of Fish and Wildlife. “We don’t want the fish to stray back to the hatchery.”

A few miles farther downstream, behind Amista Vineyards, the project’s ambitious scale may be viewed at a site just completed last month. Right now, the scene is weird and raw. A four-acre amphitheater was scooped out of the bank, draped with nets and spiked with a thousand sprigs. The scene is punctuated by 20-foot redwood stumps driven into the ground, cut clean at the top, rising out of a murky backwater.

If there’s something familiar here, it may be because many of these redwoods were cut down for the Highway 101 widening project near Airport Boulevard in Santa Rosa, and, in a move profitable for Ghilotti Construction, sold back to Sonoma County Water Agency for $98,000. Others came from a sustainable timber operation in Gualala, according to David Manning, SCWA environmental resources coordinator. Working with property owners like Amista’s Mike and Vicky Farrow, Manning secured long-term easements crucial to the project.

It may be surprising to learn that the trouble with Dry Creek, from the coho’s point of view, is that there’s too much water—especially in the summer. As the Bohemian has reported in recent years, vineyard frost protection draws and irrigation wells have compromised water levels in some of the watershed’s tributaries. But because of the constant summer flow released from the dam for the benefit of water customers, the creek is turning into a flume that limits the kinds of meandering channels that provide habitat for salmon. Paradoxically, cold water stored by the same dam will also benefit the salmon reared in this constructed pond, which is seven feet deep and studded with boulders tied to the redwood snags with steel cables. By next summer, willow trees planted along the banks—already sprouting—will begin to shade the water.

There is a plan B. The water agency and its partners have until 2020 to restore the coho to the satisfaction of the NMFS, which has the last word. The alternative calls for digging up Dry Creek Road and burying a pipeline bypass to route excess water all the way around the creek, at an estimated $150 million price tag.

With all that’s at stake, the four-inch fish aren’t being sent off with only a hope and a prayer. Since it was reinstituted, the hatchery’s program has benefited from genetic advances. Each coho female, according to Acomb, is matched to a list of breeding males ranked in order of preference. Each fish released has a small, staple-sized insert just above the nose, which can be identified with a microscope after dissection, if it’s later caught by fishermen.

An additional percentage are outfitted with passive integrated transponders, similar to the chips embedded in pet cats and dogs. These will be read by antennae as the fish check out of their quiet backwater for the long journey to the ocean. If they manage to return home after five years, they’ll be checked back in just like widgets in a modern warehouse.

Go West

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As the family gathers around the table this year, talk will veer into all the usual territories: what Aunt Meg is doing for a job, how much everyone misses Buster the dog, the price of gas. But then, inevitably, some niece or other will mention the popular cultural topic that, sadly, you are ill-equipped to discuss: Kanye West.

The paralysis is immediate to you, who deplore all “controversy” surrounding this “artist,” whose “attitude” you can’t stand. You could try to steer the conversation into friendlier musical territory (isn’t that Macklemore great?). But let’s face it: you don’t get this Kanye asshole, and you never will.

Never fear! Here’s your easy, five-point guide to talking about Kanye West during the holidays.

1. Question: “Have you guys seen the ‘Bound 2’ video”? Explanation: This refers to a new video showing Kanye and his wife Kim Kardashian simulating sex while riding a motorcycle though a Thomas Kincade backdrop. It’s alternately chintzy and artistic, and you could reference Jeff Koons here, but that’s too esoteric. Answer: “Yeah, messed up! And why did they airbrush out Kim Kardashian’s nipples? It’s not like she has a problem being naked and having sex on camera.” Zing!

2. Question: “Did you see Seth Rogen and James Franco’s spoof?” Explanation: This refers to a remake of the video with two popular comedic actors; they emulate the sex scenes and make out with each other. Showing you’re merely aware of it isn’t enough. Go for the gold. Answer: “Yeah, and did you see Kim tweeted that Kanye loved it? I thought he was going to go on another tirade!” There you go!

3. Question: “What did you think of Yeezus?” Explanation: This is Kanye West’s latest album, which is experimental, noisy and divisive. You can say you really need to listen to it more to make up your mind, and this is safe and understandable. But to show your prowess, remark on at least one song. Answer: “I like his old songs with that slowed-down soul sample element, so ‘Bound’ is my favorite.” You’re a champion!

4. Question: “But isn’t he such a jerk?” Explanation: Ooooh, the gauntlet is thrown! But you can do this. Say you’ve thought long and hard about his interviews, and his beef with Jimmy Kimmel—a popular late-night host—and his onstage “rants.” And then play it safe. Answer: “I think he’s misunderstood, and trying too hard. Why would anyone want to break into the stupid fashion world anyway?” Hooray!

5. If your interrogator starts getting too specific and remarks on something you can’t possibly fake knowledge of, simply get up, go to the computer and watch the Seth Rogen video together, and laugh. There’ll be a suggested video in the sidebar of Tom Brady yelling at referees on the football field—this is your savior! Click on it, call over Uncle Mitch and let the holiday talk resume to the tried and true. All is well again!

Letters to the Editor: November 27, 2013

Tragedy's Legacy Thank you for Steve Bhaerman's article on John F. Kennedy and his horrific assassination 50 years ago on the streets of Dallas ("A Dream Interrupted," Nov. 18). Like so many other citizens, Bhaerman is well aware that the murder of our 35th president was not the work of a lone lunatic firing from behind Kennedy's motorcade. Doctors who worked...

Walter Hansel Winery

In the Russian River Valley as in Burgundy, there's a difference between a north slope and a south slope. And there's a difference between a long a and a short a. For several years I wondered, what is this Walter Hansel, quietly growing Pinot Noir and Chardonnay just west of Santa Rosa? Turns out, I'd been thinking of a...

C’mon Baby!

Certain bands have between-song banter that proves just as entertaining, if not moreso, than their songs. I have a friend who's memorized every spoken interlude on Kiss Alive!, Fugazi is the subject of a much-shared download ("Ice cream-eating motherfucker, that's what you are"), and Guided by Voices released an album entirely of their singer's hilarious rants. Enter Sonoma's raucous, debauched...

Yellow Submachine

In the aftermath of the shooting of 13-year-old Andy Lopez at the hands of a Sonoma County Sheriff's Deputy, state senator and former Santa Rosa city councilwoman Noreen Evans (pictured) has co-authored a bill that would require all BB, pellet and airsoft guns sold in the state to be painted a bright color to avoid confusion with their deadly...

Remembering a Literary Legend

It's not every day that Nobel Prize winners for literature come to Sonoma County—and not everyday that one has the opportunity to play host and show them around. But that's what I did with Doris Lessing about 10 years ago when she spoke on the campus of SSU. I showed her around Northern California, which reminded her of Southern Rhodesia,...

It’s (Maybe) a Wrap

It happens every few years: we look in our closet, attic or garage, or those two boxes we've been lugging around for the past three moves and have forgotten what's inside, and we say, "Damn, I should have listened to George Carlin. I have too much stuff." The holidays, of course, are all about stuff. "Stuffy stuffy stuff stuff!" shout...

Spirit, Rejoice!

Ominous scaffolding casts shadows across a dimly lit stage. A high, wood-plank bridge spans the spare performance space, steeply raked and surrounded by crates, backstage paraphernalia and festoons of iron chains hanging like clusters of evil fruit. It's the perfect playground for a Christmas play taking place mainly in Hell. Such is the set of Marin Theatre Company's Jacob Marley's...

Inside Job

What do you know about the Federal Reserve? For the average American the answer is not much. The documentary Money for Nothing: Inside the Federal Reserve remedies this by explaining the powerful influence of the Fed on the global economy. Yes, a movie about "the Fed" sounds about as interesting as watching a 72-hour lawn-bowling match, but Money for Nothing...

Flow Masters

In Dry Creek Valley, there's at least one place where a jumble of felled trees doesn't spell trouble for coho habitat. It's part of a multimillion dollar project meant to restore Dry Creek's salmon population—and possibly save the Sonoma County Water Agency an additional $150 million bill. On Friday, Nov. 22, representatives from four government agencies, the Dry Creek Rancheria...

Go West

As the family gathers around the table this year, talk will veer into all the usual territories: what Aunt Meg is doing for a job, how much everyone misses Buster the dog, the price of gas. But then, inevitably, some niece or other will mention the popular cultural topic that, sadly, you are ill-equipped to discuss: Kanye West. The paralysis...
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