Best Way to Fall in Love ‘In the Middle of Everything’ 2022

Earlier this year, my partner and I discovered a cheap and easy way to explore Santa Rosa, a city of around 180,000 which claims to be “Out there. In the middle of everything.”

Legally speaking, Santa Rosa is an island in the middle of the “unincorporated” lands governed by the county government. The goal of our self-assigned, totally arbitrary project is to walk the perimeter of this legally-defined island, shaped by decades of behind-the-scenes negotiations between various political forces.

Our mission was partially inspired by an essay author Christina Nichol wrote about her experience during and after the October 2017 wildfires. The piece starts by reflecting on the difficulty humans have mentally grasping the scale of climate change and closes with an introduction to the “poetic acts” of Alejandro Jodorowsky, a Chilean French poet, filmmaker and therapist.  

As one of their poetic endeavors, Jodorowsky and an accomplice walked in a straight line across their city, ignoring all of the obstacles along their chosen path. When they reached a house, they explained their mission to the occupant and were allowed to pass through. 

As the world spirals out of control, Jodorowsky’s random, poetic missions become increasingly appealing. 

On our most recent walk, we passed through a neighborhood just east of Santa Rosa Avenue where multiple roads dead-end onto chain link fences blocking empty fields. 

In one of these lush, unkempt fields, a black office chair was set up facing Taylor Mountain. A few hundred feet in front of the chair, a couple played fetch with a dog. The view was stunning and enhanced by a feeling that we had discovered some neighborhood secret.

Whenever we return home after one of these walks, I feel accomplished and refreshed: I did something and I shared the experience with someone. 

It’s a nice feeling, and I recommend chasing it with someone you love. (Disclosure: I am not a poet or a therapist.) — W.C.

Best Bar for Falling in Love 2022

First I fell in love with Bird, then I fell in love at Bird. I am convinced I am not the only one. It began with the pastrami tacos—a transporting voyage laced with melting cheese curds and punctuated with delicately popping mustard seeds. 

The pastrami positively melts, even as it is crispy at the edges. There is no match for this unexpected and perfect flavor and texture combination. I say this confidently. New York, Oakland, Los Angeles, meet your culinary equal. 

Perhaps it was the melting cheese curd, perhaps the crunch of the mustard seed, perhaps the grace of the small bar and murmur of fellow patrons, equally entranced in their orders, but one May evening—the 15th, to be specific—over the aforementioned tacos, I met and subsequently fell in love with a 6’3” drink of coconut water who’s almost as funny as I am. He’s the absolute tops, to be frank.
Don’t wait, future lovebirds! Next date, B + B and order the pastrami tacos. C’est amour, bien sur.—JV

Best Shakespearean Sonnet About Beauty 2022

O, how much more doth beauty beauteous seem

By that sweet ornament which truth doth give.

The rose looks fair, but fairer we it deem

For that sweet odor which doth in it live.

The canker blooms have full as deep a dye

As the perfumèd tincture of the roses,

Hang on such thorns, and play as wantonly

When summer’s breath their maskèd buds discloses;

But, for their virtue only is their show,

They live unwoo’d and unrespected fade,

Die to themselves. Sweet roses do not so;

Of their sweet deaths are sweetest odors made.

And so of you, beauteous and lovely youth,

When that shall fade, my verse distills your truth.—W.S.

Best Place to Get the Gua for Your Sha 2022

To get the low down on gua sha, the increasingly popular beauty, health and wellness practice that hails from traditional East Asian medicine, I naturally (okay, lazily) turned to the Internet—specifically, GuaSha.com—because, where else? There, Arya Nielsen, Ph.D., defined gua sha as an “instrument-assisted unidirectional press-stroking of a lubricated area of the body surface to intentionally create transitory therapeutic petechiae called ‘sha’ representing extravasation of blood in the subcutis.” Even more confused, I then read an article Kary Hess wrote for the Bohemian’s sibling magazine, Explore, in which local acupuncturist and clinical eastern herbalist, Erin Wilkins, L.Ac., of Petaluma’s Herb Folk, explained, “Gua sha has been used as a folk remedy for thousands of years. Not only for facial and beauty treatments, it’s also effective to break down scar tissue, address inflammation and reduce morning sickness.” Got it. Wilkins adds that gua sha can increase circulation of blood, lymph and Qi energy and is achieved by going over the surface of the skin with a specially shaped stone. Jade is a naturally warming stone and ideal for massaging oils into the skin, whereas, say, rose quartz stays cooler. The snark-meister in me thinks there are easier ways to get “stoned,” but those who have undergone the treatment have a more, um, Mandalorian take: “This is the way.” herbfolkshop.com—DH

Best Place to Enjoy the Beauty of California 2022

You’ve seen the printed signs around town, maybe you even have one: “Brown is the New Green.” Drought is the new reality in California. But don’t worry, “drought” is actually the old reality in California. We just didn’t notice because for so long municipalities and agricultural networks have been able to overpower the ebbs and flows of water availability with aqueducts, aquifer draining and diesel-powered transport.

Still, far out-numbering the yard signs are pristine green lawns watered on the daily, glistening enough to be at home in the foggy, wet England that first set her colonies on the East Coast. From there, as the colonizers moved west, seizing the continent and remaking it in the damp green image of western Europe, lawns became a mark of “civilization” — surrounding institutions and laid over ancestral native lands converted into parks. With suburbanization in the 20th century, lawns became an essential status symbol. 

Enter California the beautiful, land of the always returning drought, one of the most beautiful landscapes on earth. Millions travel to enjoy the marvels of the state’s forests and deserts, to hike through meadows of wildflowers. This richness of hardy flora evolved in an environment that often went without water. The results are spectacular because it looks like California, a landscape so unique it is visited more than any other state.

Have a piece of this beauty for yourself. Let the water-hogging, little piece of England out front die. Sure, you could look into drought friendly options like rock gardens and xeriscaping. Or just spread some poppy seed on the corpse of the lawn and let California reclaim its shape right outside your front door, this natural landscape we are so blessed to enjoy, blooming just for you.—M.G.

Best of Beauty 2022: You Are Beautiful

Twenty years ago, Christine Aguilera was top of the pops with “Beautiful,” an enchanting and affirming ballad that became an instant anthem of self-acceptance. Covers came and went (a favorite of mine was Clem Snide’s garage-y that toed the line between homage and parody), but many forget, or perhaps never knew, that the song was written by Linda Perry, the former lead singer of San Francisco’s 4 Non Blondes. I mean, who could forget Perry’s dizzying cry, “What’s going on?!” from their breakout single in 1992? Perry summed up both the existential hurly-burly of the ‘90s and Gen X anxiety (which persists to this day), then answered it a decade later with “Beautiful.”

But what does all this Wikipedia spelunking have to do with Beauty, Health & Wellness, you ask? Everything. The three concepts are often intertwined–sure, you can have one and not the others–but pursuing the trifecta produces results greater than the sum of their parts. Of course, this was not the dominant paradigm for those of us who came of age in the ‘80s and ‘90s when “heroin chic” was all the rage. If you’re reading this, it’s likely that, like me, you missed the option to “live fast, die young and leave a beautiful corpse,” so why not go for the CBD-infused gua sha facial? And, also, like me, if you have no idea what “CBD-infused gua sha facial” means, feel free to scream from the top of your lungs, “What’s going on?” 

The answer is: You. Because… “You are beautiful no matter what they say / Words can’t bring you down.”  Not even these words. As you browse this section, please keep this in mind: You are beautiful in every single way. With or without CBD-infused gua sha facial (though I hear it’s great).
By the way, I heartily recommend searching YouTube for Perry’s performance of “Beautiful” at the 2016 L.A. Impact Awards. It’s utterly gutting. And true. — DH

The Best Place to Catch a Train of Thought 2022

If you’re a fan of cooking shows, then in recent years you’ve seen professional chefs and outrageously talented (mostly British) bakers tackle all manner of creative, sadistic culinary challenges. 

They’re expected to utilize delicate and unknowable techniques under the pressure of punishing time constraints. They’re tasked with replicating French desserts whose eldritch names hold more spellbinding syllables than an entry in one of Tolkien’s elvish dictionaries. They accomplish these feats and more, and yet also get tripped up trying to make an ordinary omelet or B.L.T. Burnt, overdressed, undersalted, etc.

The lesson here: In a world of glitz, glam and gimmicks, sometimes the truly impressive thing is a really well done simple thing. Bells and whistles certainly have their place, but the enduring earnestness of sincere simplicity (along with awesome alliteration) is undeniable.

Taking this principle to heart is A’Roma Roasters Coffee &Tea, right off the tracks in the heart of Santa Rosa. It’s a haven for students, creatives, coffee connoisseurs and wanderlusting souls from all walks.

Residing within the bones of the Baggage Building of Old Railroad Square’s Train Depot, the sense of old soul antiquity has been baked into the stone over the years. That, combined with the neighboring railroad tracks and brick buildings, the hand-hammered copper bar tops and the ever present, ever pleasant aroma of roasting coffee beans (roooooll credits), all only adds to the aged dignity of the place.

They are consistently good, consistently friendly and consistently…well, present. Aroma’s has survived the past couple of years’ drama in good shape for a reason—they’re just really good.

And elegant simplicity like that has to be frustrating from the other side of things. Corinthian-style columns with all their frou frou acanthus leaves are probably ticked that Doric ones get anywhere near the same love. 

Salvador Dali would have been within his rights to be irked that his dreamscapes of melting clocks had to share space at all with Warhol’s darned soup can. Check them out, grab a coffee or tea with your favorite book and enjoy.—ED

Best Menagerie in Which One Might Eat Lamb Dumplings Indoors 2022

Despite the fact that once I was sprayed by an errant sprinkler head, this greenhouse dreamscape offers some of the best food and ambience in the North Bay. 

Fronds, palms, climbing vines, out of which emerge leather banquets, deep cowskin chairs, an illuminated and heartily-stocked bar—a back room outfitted with vintage wallpaper and a tall lamp. There’s at once an air of mystery and play—is this restaurant a Mark Helprin, Sleep No More vision or just great dining in The Barlow?

Both. And the smash burger with duck fat fries will see to it that no one leaves certain of reality. The flavors are that deliciously altering. Happy dream dining. fernbar.comJV

Best Place to Grab Ganj Before Heading to Regel Park 2022

Don’t drive to Solful; take the Joe Rodota trail. Biking is better. Fresh air is my favorite drug. Gas is like $7 a gallon. Need anyone say anything more?

Hop off at what’s voted the best cannabis dispensary three years running, and here’s why: Solful is dedicated to providing their cannabis consumers with not only the best in weed, but also the best in cannabis knowledge. Take it from their 2018 field guide—”The Solful Field Guide to Getting the Most Out of Your Cannabis,” which is a guide for the cannabis user to maximize benefits and happiness when using the plant. If that’s not solful, tell me what is.Ride in, bask in the sweetest of great herb and great service, and whisk the winnings away to Regel Park. Nestle between some trees, lay the body down. Look at the clouds.—JV

Best Pot Pills for Potheads 2022

I’ve been using cannabis medicinally and recreationally for decades. I’ve tried almost every method to deliver THC and CBD to mind and body. I’ve smoked joints, puffed on pipes, eaten hash brownies, enjoyed gummies and bonged my way to heavenly highs. 

There’s always a new delivery system. I’m a sucker for new products. So when I heard about the Protab pills from LEVEL Experience, a company based in Santa Rosa—a city that can roll out the red carpet for cannabis companies—I climbed aboard the pill wagon. 

Three products arrived at my front door: “Lights Out” meant for “maximum relaxation,” “Boost” provides “energy and helps focus,” and “Recover” is designed for “relief and may help ease pain.” 

Each packet had 10 tablets, each one about the size of a low-dose aspirin. I started out with a whole “Lights Out” and woke up with an marijuana hangover the next morning. The next evening, using two fingers, I broke a pill in half and swallowed it with water. Half was still too much. I learned that a quarter guaranteed a sound night’s sleep. 

I also tried both the Boost and the Recover—a quarter of each one was the right dosage for me. When I talked to LEVEL’s founder and CEO, Chris Emerson, I wasn’t surprised when he urged me “to go low and to go slow.” Those seven words are the best words I’ve ever heard about the consumption of cannabis. 

Others, in addition to Emerson, have offered these words of advice. All dispensaries ought to carry a sign that reads, “Go Low, Go Slow.” Though those words might discourage consumers from stocking up on cannabis products, which is what happened at the height of the pandemic. I felt good about Protab after my conversation with Emerson, who has a Ph.D. in chemistry from Stanford and who served in the military. He knows about molecules and stress and how to reduce it. He also worked in Big Pharma until he realized it wasn’t for him. Pills have worked for Emerson. They’d better. “I can’t roll a joint to save my life,” he told me. “A pill is easier.”—J.R.

Best Way to Fall in Love ‘In the Middle of Everything’ 2022

Click to read
Earlier this year, my partner and I discovered a cheap and easy way to explore Santa Rosa, a city of around 180,000 which claims to be “Out there. In the middle of everything.” Legally speaking, Santa Rosa is an island in the middle of the “unincorporated” lands governed by the county government. The goal of our self-assigned, totally arbitrary project...

Best Bar for Falling in Love 2022

Click to read
First I fell in love with Bird, then I fell in love at Bird. I am convinced I am not the only one. It began with the pastrami tacos—a transporting voyage laced with melting cheese curds and punctuated with delicately popping mustard seeds.  The pastrami positively melts, even as it is crispy at the edges. There is no match for...

Best Shakespearean Sonnet About Beauty 2022

Click to read
O, how much more doth beauty beauteous seem By that sweet ornament which truth doth give. The rose looks fair, but fairer we it deem For that sweet odor which doth in it live. The canker blooms have full as deep a dye As the perfumèd tincture of the roses, Hang on such thorns, and play as wantonly When summer’s breath their maskèd buds discloses; But, for...

Best Place to Get the Gua for Your Sha 2022

Click to read
To get the low down on gua sha, the increasingly popular beauty, health and wellness practice that hails from traditional East Asian medicine, I naturally (okay, lazily) turned to the Internet—specifically, GuaSha.com—because, where else? There, Arya Nielsen, Ph.D., defined gua sha as an “instrument-assisted unidirectional press-stroking of a lubricated area of the body surface to intentionally create transitory therapeutic...

Best Place to Enjoy the Beauty of California 2022

Click to read
You’ve seen the printed signs around town, maybe you even have one: “Brown is the New Green.” Drought is the new reality in California. But don’t worry, “drought” is actually the old reality in California. We just didn’t notice because for so long municipalities and agricultural networks have been able to overpower the ebbs and flows of water availability...

Best of Beauty 2022: You Are Beautiful

Click to read
Twenty years ago, Christine Aguilera was top of the pops with “Beautiful,” an enchanting and affirming ballad that became an instant anthem of self-acceptance. Covers came and went (a favorite of mine was Clem Snide’s garage-y that toed the line between homage and parody), but many forget, or perhaps never knew, that the song was written by Linda Perry,...

The Best Place to Catch a Train of Thought 2022

Click to read
If you're a fan of cooking shows, then in recent years you've seen professional chefs and outrageously talented (mostly British) bakers tackle all manner of creative, sadistic culinary challenges.  They're expected to utilize delicate and unknowable techniques under the pressure of punishing time constraints. They're tasked with replicating French desserts whose eldritch names hold more spellbinding syllables than an entry...

Best Menagerie in Which One Might Eat Lamb Dumplings Indoors 2022

Click to read
Despite the fact that once I was sprayed by an errant sprinkler head, this greenhouse dreamscape offers some of the best food and ambience in the North Bay.  Fronds, palms, climbing vines, out of which emerge leather banquets, deep cowskin chairs, an illuminated and heartily-stocked bar—a back room outfitted with vintage wallpaper and a tall lamp. There’s at once an...

Best Place to Grab Ganj Before Heading to Regel Park 2022

Click to read
Don’t drive to Solful; take the Joe Rodota trail. Biking is better. Fresh air is my favorite drug. Gas is like $7 a gallon. Need anyone say anything more? Hop off at what’s voted the best cannabis dispensary three years running, and here’s why: Solful is dedicated to providing their cannabis consumers with not only the best in weed, but...

Best Pot Pills for Potheads 2022

Click to read
I’ve been using cannabis medicinally and recreationally for decades. I’ve tried almost every method to deliver THC and CBD to mind and body. I’ve smoked joints, puffed on pipes, eaten hash brownies, enjoyed gummies and bonged my way to heavenly highs.  There’s always a new delivery system. I’m a sucker for new products. So when I heard about the Protab...
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