Crime-Scene Cleanup

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The Grim Sweepers

Michael Amsler



On the beat with crime-scene cleanup–a blood-soaked turf

By David Templeton

Have you eaten?” asks John Birrer of the Windsor-based Asepsis crime-scene cleanup company, cracking open a binder filled with photographs, “because these are plenty graphic.” True to his word, the photos–which Birrer keeps to demonstrate the extent of the damage for insurance and other billing claims made by the property owner–tell one tale after another, some tragic, others macabre. Among the former is a teen suicide, in which a boy shot himself with his father’s deer rifle–a two-year-old tragedy that still causes Birrer, an ex-cop, to tear up when describing it.

“I’m not immune to this stuff,” he says, shrugging and gazing at the photo. “I experience the whole grief cycle with a lot of these jobs. I feel the sad part, the anger part, the denial part. I get upset afterwards, sometimes, sure.

“I’m human.”

He turns back to the gruesome chronicle. A few pages later, he relates the case of a Santa Rosa man who died of a heart attack in his car, parked in his closed garage. His remains weren’t discovered for almost three months. Fortunately, Birrer says, the car was an Oldsmobile. “None of the fluids leaked through the floorboards,” he appreciatively notes, “though it was all swimming with maggots. Don’t get me started talking about maggots. I know more about the life cycle of the black blowfly than anyone should.”

What is clear from the photos is how extensive the damage often is in such cases.

“It’s not uncommon, especially in gun-related deaths,” Birrer explains, “to find blood on the ceiling, on the walls, on the floor–literally all over the place.

“People have no idea how much area can be contaminated after a single gun blast to the head.”

What is clear from the photos is how extensive the damage often is in such cases.

“It’s not uncommon, especially in gun-related deaths,” Birrer explains, “to find blood on the ceiling, on the walls, on the floor–literally all over the place.

“People have no idea how much area can be contaminated after a single gun blast to the head.”


Michael Amsler

Biohazard: Kim Nootenboom dons a filtered face mask that protects crime-scene cleanup workers from contaminated blood.

BLOOD–THE RED ooze of life. It’s what Homer once called the “humour as distills from blessed gods,” that hard-working liquid–a warm broth of plasma and blood cells–chiefly responsible for carrying oxygen and nutrients and waste materials and carbon dioxide, back and forth, through miles and miles of veins and arteries. Blood. The average adult human being has around six quarts of the stuff pumping through him–roughly a gallon and a half.

That’s not much, if you think about it, though it’s plenty enough to do the job when our blood stays cozily contained beneath our easily punctured skins. Should some random accident or act of violence occur, however–should those six little quarts end up sprayed across a living room, a kitchen, a car, a sidewalk–well, the average witness would be startled to learn how much blood we really do carry around all bottled up within us.

Put another way, it’s amazing how big a mess we humans can make.

As Macbeth remarked, right after murdering poor old Duncan, “Who would have thought the old man to have had so much blood in him?” Who indeed? Aside from your average surgeon, mortician, police officer, or emergency-room attendant–who certainly see their fair share of blood–there are few people alive who know as much about our life-giving fluids as those hardy, strong-stomached professionals known as “trauma-scene practitioners.”

Their business: crime-scene cleanup.

Since 1993–when a former East Coast paramedic opened the nation’s first cleaning service dedicated solely to the aftermath of bloody events and crimes–this startling vocation has attracted thousands of entrepreneurial mavericks: bold, unconventional people who recognize a lucrative new industry when they see it.

Practitioners can earn between $100 and $350 dollars per hour. Though work tends to be sporadic, it is sad but certain that there will always be more job opportunities. In California alone, the Department of Health Services has registered over 50 crime-scene cleanup companies. Two of those–Not-a-Trace and Asepsis Technology–are based in Sonoma County. Typical of any developing industry, the trauma-scene field is experiencing some growing pains, with ever-changing regulatory issues and the usual squabbles among competitors, each jockeying for leadership position or marketing advantage.

Homer may have been right or wrong with his poetic description of blood being the essence of the gods, but one thing every crime-scene practitioner knows for sure: cleaning the stuff up is big business.

And very hard work.


Michael Amsler

Teamwork: Trainee Gail Stryker, left, a home-health worker, with Not-a-Trace co-owners Gregg Smith, center, and trauma-scene marketer David Goforth.

IT’S UNFORTUNATE when family or friends have to clean up the mess after a loved one has died violently,” says Birrer. “The act of getting in there and cleaning up a family member can only add trauma to an already traumatic experience. It’s tough even for us, when we don’t know the victim–and then there are all the legal parts of it that most people don’t know. Individuals who have not been properly trained should not be doing this.”

A former L.A. cop and Sonoma County coroner’s investigator, Birrer has run Asepsis–the first operation of its kind in the area–ever since injuring his back on duty. “I was moving a corpse in the county morgue,” he jauntily explains. “I ended up herniating three disks, causing a multilevel fusion. There’s a metal plate in there now. Next thing I knew, I wasn’t a cop anymore, and I sat there thinking, ‘What the hell am I going to do now?”

As an officer, Birrer was intimately acquainted with the impacts of crime, both on the physical surroundings and on the psyches of the victim’s family. Also, he’d been present on numerous occasions when, after the coroner had removed the body and police had concluded their investigation, the stunned survivors would stand outside the victim’s home, frozen with uncertainty and remorse, unsure what to do next.

“It’s not the responsibility of law enforcement to clean up at a death scene, unfortunately,” he affirms. “But I saw plenty of people–these people are already more overwhelmed than they’d ever been in their lives–with no idea what to do next. So there was a definite need for experienced professionals to step in.”

Step in he did. Since then, Birrer–along with a seasoned crew of workers, most of them former nurses, morticians, coroners, or licensed embalmers–has overseen the cleanup of hundreds of grisly events.

Only 20 years ago, blood was still just blood, and the notion of a specialized industry focusing on the cleaning of trauma scenes was unthinkable. Though certainly no less tragic and heart-rending than today, yesterday’s trauma scenes–from murders to suicides to accidental and natural deaths–were at least able to be cleaned up with few worries as to the safety of the task.

(Does anyone remember 1973’s Last Tango in Paris, with that unforgettable scene of the old woman, kneeling in a puddle of blood, scrubbing the remains of her daughter’s suicide from the bathroom walls and shower curtains? It was an unsettling sight, to be sure. These days, with the omnipresence of such infectious agents as HIV, hepatitis B and C, and other blood-borne pathogens, such a thing would be considered a biohazard. Over the last two decades, our view of blood itself has been irreversibly altered. It is no longer merely the juice of life; blood–other people’s blood, anyway–is sometimes viewed as a lethal substance, a potential poison.

Hospitals have long been required to observe heightened precautions in their handling and disposal of blood and other bodily fluids and human of tissue. Outside of the health-care industry, such waste material was routinely washed down storm drains or tossed into dumpsters and taken to the landfill. As of a year ago, however, a new state law changed all of that. The Trauma Scene Waste Management Act, authored by Sen. Ken Maddy of Fresno, set up a minimal regulatory system for the new crime-scene cleanup companies, and made it a illegal for trauma waste to be freely dumped in public places.

Under the law, practitioners must register with the DHS and must submit proof of a relationship with a licensed, medical waste treatment facility, where the troublesome blood and guts are sterilized and incinerated.

Though the AIDS virus can live outside the body only for a few seconds, after which contact with the blood is relatively safe, the deadly hepatitis B virus can live within spilled blood for up to two weeks. Therefore crime-scene practitioners are required to receive a three-part hep B vaccine. All other safety precautions, including rubber gloves, full-body suits, and sometimes even breathing apparatus, are taken seriously.

“At least, that’s how it should be done,” warns David Goforth of Sacramento’s Hygentek Emergency Services. “No two ways about it, there are a lot of flakes out there.

“There are building owners who will clean a crime scene on their own, rip up blood-soaked carpets–and then throw it all in the trash can. There are janitorial services who might be called in to clean up after someone has died. They don’t know they’re breaking the law when they dispose of the waste improperly; they don’t necessarily know they’re putting themselves at risk of disease. I hate to say it, but there are even people within the industry who are breaking the rules–either because they don’t care or because they haven’t been properly trained.

“This is the sort of thing we want to stop.”

In addition to cleaning up crime scenes and running Hygentek–which has recently merged with Penngrove-based Not-a-Trace Services–Goforth owns the only crime-scene cleanup supply store in the country, opened last October in Sacramento. He is also the director of the Certified Alliance of Trauma Practitioners and Emergency Responders, and in addition runs Code Red Training, which operates three classrooms, called “trauma centers,” in Sacramento, Hayward, and Penngrove. Here, those interested in becoming registered trauma practitioners, as well as people already employed as cleaners, can soak up some of Goforth’s considerable knowledge.

At the trauma centers–with each room staged to resemble the scene of a crime–the employees of cleaning companies, and others interested in cleaning crime scenes for a living, receive instruction and are put through “hands-on” drills. To properly set the stage, there are bright-red splatters of paint on the ceiling, the overhead fan, or the wall above a bed, behind which trainees may discover fake severed ears or fingers. Lumpy gray smears on the wall represent the ruptured brain matter after a shot to the head. Bloody polka-dots adorn the kitchen floor by the chalked-in outline of a fallen body.

It is in these training sessions–during which Goforth shares his alternately philosophical and practical approach to crime-scene conduct–that trainees get their first glimmer of what might lie ahead in the real world.

“Our job, overall, is to make it safe and habitable to utilize the building again after a traumatic event,” Goforth lectures. “We are there to give dignity back to the family, because it’s dignity that has been lost. The family will be feeling exposed, and probably even embarrassed, because death has brought a stream of strangers into the house, strangers who come in to look at their most private, private business.”

GOFORTH has developed specific rules for working a crime scene, including tips on how to interact with family members, how to handle overlooked evidence should it be discovered along the way, and how to protect the emotional well-being of every trauma-scene practitioner. Blood is referred to on-site as “protein.” Severed limbs or body parts are simply “pathology.” Maggots are “vectors.”

Before work begins in the impacted area, Goforth has a team member remove any photos of the victim, so the persons with their hands in the protein can avoid dwelling on the life that’s been lost. To further distance the workers from the enormity of the tragedy at hand, he recommends that right-handed technicians scrub with their left hands.

“When you are cleaning up a blood pool, you use physical things like that to put yourself away from the incident,” he explains. “Think of it as a metaphor. By using your left hand you acknowledge that we are in a different environment, that this is not normal. So suddenly you become less anxious, because you are constantly reminded that this is not normal. Walking into a house and finding a dead body is not normal.

“You never want that to seem normal.”

Defending his cautious approach, Goforth cites statistics that show heightened rates of suicide among police officers, nurses, and firefighters, related to post-traumatic stress syndrome from close contact with violent events. Asked if he and his crew are under similar risk, he replies, “I don’t want to find out. That’s why I’ve developed this system of distancing ourselves.”

Furthermore, he’d like to see his on-scene protocols become the industry standard, a benchmark that others would strive to attain. Earlier this month he submitted a list of suggestions to the DHS, which is considering ways to establish firmer standards of conduct among trauma-scene practitioners. Additionally, he’d like to see stronger enforcement of the existing dumping and safety rules, so that violators will be forced to either comply or find a new career.

“The bottom line,” he says, “is that we want enlightened competitors. We don’t really want to put anyone out of business. We just want competitors who are following the rules, those that understand the risks for their employees and the environment.”

Goforth’s partner in crime is Greg Smith [on his request, we are withholding his real last name because of the teasing his children have received in the past regarding their father’s occupation]. The founder of Not-a-Trace, Smith has seen some amazing things himself. He was recently called to a storage locker where a 16-foot-long boa constrictor, locked in by its owner, had long since perished. “Talk about vectors,” he says.

Smith was also the man on the scene last year in Fairfield, when–in a much publicized case–a woman was found to have been “caring” for her dead mother for over a year.

“It was like Norman Bates without the knife,” Smith affirms. “The daughter was a schoolteacher, and every day she’d say goodbye to Mommy and leave the body lying in bed. She had bowls underneath to collect the fluid. That one got me. It was the weirdest thing I’ve ever seen.”

It takes a specific kind of person to handle such surprises, he adds.

“This is more than a cleaning job. This is stressful,” he observes. “You have to be tough and be able to detach from the facts of what the heck you’re kneeling in, but you have to be sensitive at the same time. You don’t want to screw up and say something stupid.

Such as? “I heard of a guy who finished a job, a suicide,” he recalls, “and as he was leaving he turned to the family and said, ‘Have a nice day.’ I’d say that was pretty stupid.”

Smith, Goforth, and Birrer are all optimistic about the future of the industry, ironic in that success depends on an arguably pessimistic belief that murder and suicide will not be going into decline anytime soon.

“It’s a fact of life,” Goforth states. “People die, and sometimes they die in bad ways. That doesn’t thrill me. But we have to acknowledge the fact of mortality when we’re faced with it. And in the end, isn’t it still better for a trained professional to go in and do this job than to leave it to people who are just beginning to grieve?”

Smith agrees, saying, “I’ll tell you this. I’ve worked a lot of jobs in my life, and this is the only one I’ve ever seen where people will come up to me and say, ‘I can’t tell you how much I appreciate this. I don’t know what you charge, but whatever it is–it’s not enough.’ “

From the January 21-27, 1999 issue of the Sonoma County Independent.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Talking Pictures

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Science Class

A Civil Action

By David Templeton

David Templeton takes interesting people to interesting movies in his ongoing quest for the ultimate post-film conversation. This time out, he summons Keith O’Brien–an esteemed hydrogeologist and sought-after expert witness–to see the popular environmental courtroom drama A Civil Action.

Keith O’Brien saunters purposefully down the aisle, leading the way to a seat at the approximate center of the theater. He is tall, gray-haired and distinguished in appearance. As soon as we’ve settled into our seats, a woman’s voice calls out from behind.

“Hey, O’Brien! Down in front!” My guest, it seems, has been recognized. He pivots around to see who it is. One of O’Brien’s many colleagues, a fellow hydrogeologist–though they work for competing Bay Area environmental consulting firms–is sitting three rows back.

“Too bad you’re not closer,” suggests the interloper. “I could throw popcorn at you.”

For the next few minutes, these two respected scientists–each an expert in the field of groundwater remediation (the testing and treatment of contaminated underground water sources)–pass the time tossing playful barbs back and forth. Fortunately, before the verbal jousting evolves into an full-scale free-for-all, the lights dim and the movie begins.

A Civil Action, starring John Travolta and Robert Duvall as lawyers slugging it out in a multi-million dollar court case, is something of a cause celebré among our nation’s highly-specialized cadre of groundwater contamination specialists. Though probably not the demographic Disney had in mind when they grabbed the rights to Jonathan Harr’s best-selling book, these hydro-professionals have a right to be excited; it isn’t often that Hollywood makes a big-budget film in which their industry, or the subject of groundwater, is even mentioned–and then along comes a flick in which underground agua is practically the star of the show.

Both the book and the film are based on a real-life 1980’s lawsuit, in which eight families from the tiny town of Woburn, Massachusetts sued Beatrice Foods and W.R. Grace, a pair of Goliath-like corporations with manufacturing plants near Woburn. The families claimed that acetone, T.C.E., and other toxic chemicals, illegally dumped on corporate property, had seeped into the groundwater and worked their way into the town’s drinking water supply–ultimately resulting in the leukemia deaths of several of their children. As in the movie, the lawyer who represented the families, Jan Schlictman (Travolta), ended up losing his cars, his house and ultimately his practice, after spending millions on groundwater studies, expert witnesses, and scientific research. That research–the same type that is O’Brien’s stock in trade–eventually provided the evidence needed for the Environmental Protection Agency to come down hard on the negligent corporations, finally forcing them to clean up their mess.

With O’Brien’s considerable experience and expertise in the field, he has become a much sought-after expert witness such cases, having worked on over 100 environmental contamination lawsuits in the course of the last ten years. It is often O’Brien’s view of the truth that will shape a lawyer’s entire case.

“Not that the court system has anything to do with the truth,” he observes with a laugh, on our way out of the theater. (We are successful, by the way, in avoiding further jovial antagonism from any of O’Brien’s associates. No popcorn was ever launched)

“After 10 years of working with lawyers,” he continues a few minutes later, sipping a beer at a nearby restaurant, “I have to say that I don’t have a lot of trust left in the judicial system. These days I tend to steer my clients toward the rough justice of mediation, where they can avoid all the shenanigans that go on in court, and can settle their disputes without having to spend a lot of money.

“When I first started doing it, I thought, ‘Great! This is terrific! I’m going to go out there and tell people how it really is, and I’ll get to change the world, and …’ you know, ‘Truth, Justice, and the American Way will win out over Evil.’ But it’s not that way. It’s discouraging. I used to do a lot more litigation work, but now I turn down more cases than I take.”

“So the movie was accurate?” I ask, thinking of the “shenanigans” that led to Schlictman’s case dragging on for over a decade.

“Yes, but only gives a taste of what really goes on,” O’Brien replies. “We saw some of the depositions, long before they went to trial, where Schlictman was yelling at everyone, and the experts were all sitting around with the lawyers. That was very realistic, but it’s usually even wilder. It’s a free-for-all, where guys are leaning across the table, shouting and spitting at one another. It’s hair-raising. You can sit there for hours, and the information you have to tell never gets out, nothing substantive is ever said.”

“And as for the science aspects of this particular case …” I remark. “Well, the scientific jargon was presented as if science was some bizarre language made of code words and incomprehensible gibberish.”

“The movie says, in fact, that no one, not even scientists, can understand it,” he replies. “But there really wasn’t much science in the movie. We saw a quick series of shots where they were outside digging monitoring wells near the contamination site, and some people carrying samples of water around. And then the expert witness in the court room with all those charts and elaborate models. But all that stuff was just mumbo jumbo to the average movie-goer.”

“One thing I think the people will take away from the movie,” I add, “is a serious fear of their drinking water. Whether they were made to understand the science of it or not, it was clear that water might contain all kinds of toxins and things that seeped in from elsewhere.”

“Absolutely,” he nods. “I think water companies are going to get so many phone calls after this, with people saying, ‘I just want to know how frequently you test the water, and what is in the water and all that kind of stuff.’ It will probably boost the sales of bottled water.

“It’s not like these kinds of event–like the one depicted in Woborn–aren’t happening all the time,” he continues. “They are happening today. T.C.E., of course, is a major concern, but also things like MTBE, which has been a huge problem lately. It was just last summer that there were headlines in the City of Riverside’s newspaper, in Southern California. ‘Don’t drink your water!’ That was the headline. I was just trying to imagine what that must have been like. You’ve got your coffee, you’re drinking it and you go out to pick up your newspaper, and you open it up and read, ‘Don’t drink your water,’ so you take another sip of coffee–and then you realize: this isn’t coffee. This is water that’s been run through a coffee machine.”

“I doubt this film will attract many people to the legal profession,” I note. “But do you think it will it draw anyone to the hydrogeological fields?”

“Probably not,” he shrugs. “But it may boost the sales of bottle water.”

Web extra to the January 21-27, 1999 issue of the Sonoma County Independent.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Passionfish

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Bayou Beat

Some like it hot: Passionfish is a cheery, down-home, family-style eatery where the gumbo helps shake the winter chill.

Passionfish spawns American favorites with a Cajun touch

By Paula Harris

THE SIGN OUTSIDE promises it all: “Burgers, Pizza, Cajun, Fish.” Quite an ambitious undertaking for Passionfish, a new Graton restaurant inspired by the 1992 Alfre Woodard-Mary McDonnell movie set in the Louisiana swamplands.

The restaurant’s menu is rather a swampland itself, traversing the culinary map to include such “American favorites” as pizza, burgers, steak, and pork chops; Italian pasta; and, of course, Cajun food. However, purists may gripe that some of the dishes, including the “Mardi Gras Burger” (bacon, avocado, cheese, mayo, and spices) and the “Passionfish Pizza” (shrimp, scallops, and cheese), are really faux Cajun.

While both Creole and Cajun cooking symbolize the food of Louisiana, Passionfish forgoes the French-inspired haute cuisine of Creole, and instead focuses on Cajun’s homey, country fare. Wholesome and unpretentious, this food is all big-hearted portions and pungent flavors.

Passionfish is a cheery down-home family-style eatery with peachy-coral walls, and a blond-wood bar backed by flowery wall paper and strings of lights. On a recent visit, foot-tapping, feisty recorded Cajun accordion music buffeted the dining room, producing a wonderful lively atmosphere. “Don’t dare turn it down,” an elderly couple at the next table begged the barman.

The tables are plain black, stenciled with gold stars, and each is set with fresh flowers, containers of mustard and tomato ketchup, and several less familiar items, including cayenne pepper, a jar of gumbo filé, and four bottled sauces. The Larry’s All Natural Bohemian Pepper Sauces (habanero, mango-habanero, red pepper, and chipolte, to be exact) are aged in oak and blended locally in Occidental. A note on the menu instructs the uninitiated: “Cajun food is not necessarily hot, so don’t be timid. If you want it hotter just add the sauce of your choice at the table.”

A cup of Passionfish gumbo ($3.95) melted the winter chills. The rich brothy soup was silky-textured and thick with the famous Bayou holy trinity of simmered green pepper, celery, and onions. Plus seafoood, including shrimp and tiny scallops. There’s also a chicken and andouille (spicy smoked-pork sausage), and a vegetable version of the gumbo. (If ordering this, be sure and add some of the filé powder seasoning, made from the ground dried leaves of the sassafras tree, to impart a unique woodsy flavor.) The gumbo came with a wedge of moist, spongelike corn bread for swabbing.

The Cajun deep-fried rock shrimp ($6.50) were unfortunately water-logged and anemic-looking, with no discernible Cajun seasoning. On a later visit, the Cajun deep-fried calamari ($5.50) fared better. The batter coating was at least crisp and dry, though not hot enough, and there was still nothing to distinguish this appetizer as Cajun rather than, say, Italian or Spanish.

THE KITCHEN got back on track with the 15-inch diameter “Just Veggies” pizza ($14.95), which boasted a superior puffy golden-brown base, a light tomato sauce, ample cheese, and a good variety of fresh veggies, including onion, green pepper, artichoke hearts, red pepper, black olives, and avocado slices. The net effect was light, yet addictive, as we kept returning to the pan for “just one more” slice.

The roasted chicken ($7.95) was passable: moist but rather flavorless. It was served with a vegetable medley and a sloppy mixture of red beans and rice.

On a subsequent visit, the oven-fried Cajun catfish ($7.95) was quite a treat. The fish had a firm flesh and a mild, clean flavor and was enveloped in a thin, lightly spiced coating, with a zestiness that creeps up on you. This time, the rice and red beans tasted fresher and had a touch of pork flavoring. The dish also came with cornbread and crunchy coleslaw.

But the pasta marinara ($7.50) missed the mark, being nothing more than a bland heap of lukewarm linguine topped by a watery tomato sauce, and served with none-too-garlicky garlic toast.

The housemade desserts were hit and miss. A pear bread pudding ($2.75) looked unappetizing and stodgy, and was served directly from the microwave via the fridge or possibly freezer. It arrived steaming hot on the edges, stone cold in the center. The apple pie ($3) was much better, boasting a crumbly buttery crust and chunky apple slices. But it was lukewarm and was accompanied by a bland whipped topping.

Passionfish has a modest wine list, but beer seems to be the order of the day with most of these dishes. Several are available on tap, including Redhook ESB ($3 a glass), a deep-amber ale full of barley malt, with a semi-sweet, clear finish.

Passionfish has good potential–if the kitchen can correct the food temperature hiccups, and especially if the menu focuses more on traditional Cajun cuisine. Fortunately, this may well be a possibility, since the owners are experimenting, and it’s rumored that crawfish étouffée and other Bayou staples may surface on the regular menu.

So, pull up a chair, crank up those accordions, and laissez les bons temps rouler!

Passionfish 9113 Graton Road, Graton; 823-9003 Hours: Mondays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays 7 a.m. to 9 p.m.; Saturdays and Sundays 9 a.m. to 9 p.m.; closed Tuesdays Food: American and Cajun Service: Friendly, but inconsistent Ambiance: Relaxed family-style Price: Inexpensive to moderate Wine list: Small selection

From the January 21-27, 1999 issue of the Sonoma County Independent.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Big Sandy & His Fly-Rite Boys

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The Rite Stuff

Stray cats: Big Sandy & his Fly-Rite Boys return to the Powerhouse Brewing Co.

Big Sandy and his Fly-Rite Boys just keep on digging those rock roots

By Alan Sculley

WHEN YOU’VE GOT a scratch, you’ve gotta itch it. Earlier this year, Big Sandy and his band, the Fly-Rite Boys, went their separate ways to record CDs of their own. Big Sandy has done a doo-wop/R&B record, Dedicated to You, while the Fly-Rite Boys cut a mostly instrumental CD that sticks close to their accustomed mix of country swing and rockabilly.

The separate experiences were rewarding, Big Sandy [aka Robert Williams] says, but he hopes people don’t get the wrong idea about the side projects.

“I’m hoping also that people won’t think this [solo CD] is my new direction,” he says. “I’m not leaving what I have been doing. It’s just a side project that ended up pretty good, I think. But it’s not going to lead me away from anything.

“Some of it I might incorporate into what we do as a band.”

The projects actually came about as much for practical reasons as for any artistic objective. Coming off of their third critically acclaimed CD for HighTone Records, the 1996 release, Feelin’ Kinda Lucky, Big Sandy and his Fly-Rite Boys found themselves getting a few feelers from major labels.

This left the band in an awkward situation for recording another group CD, Big Sandy says.

“There was a possibility that somebody from the major labels was interested, but wasn’t really coming through,” says Big Sandy, who notes that the side-project CDs had actually been suggested by HighTone. “We were just kind of hanging there and didn’t want to wait, not doing anything. So this was a good project for us to do in the meantime, to buy us time, I guess, a little bit.”

At first blush, the idea of Big Sandy singing doo-wop might seem like a radical shift from the Fly-Rite Boys’ more country-based sound. In truth, Sandy has deep roots in all these styles. Growing up in the L.A. area, Big Sandy, now 33, discovered his favorite music through his parents’ record collection. His father’s music was stocked with ’50s-era rockabilly and hillbilly music.

His mother, however, favored doo-wop and R&B of a similar vintage. As a high school student in the late ’70s, Big Sandy, having such musical tastes, seemed a bit unusual.

But these interests reflected his general curiosity about the pop culture of the past.

“I don’t know why a person is drawn to one thing and not another,” Big Sandy says. “For me it was not just with the music, it was with everything–the clothes, the cars. As a kid I would stay up at night past my bedtime, sneak out to the living room, and watch the old movies. It seemed to carry me away to another time, and I don’t know why I liked that feeling. I don’t know if I was unhappy living in the present; I just don’t know.

“But even simple things you watched as a kid, like on TV Our Gang/Little Rascals, which is so fascinating–I didn’t even know exactly when they were from, I just knew it wasn’t from now. It was coming from somewhere else, and it felt like I was transported to another place. That’s what I was feeling in the music,” Big Sandy says.

“I started going out with my father, hitting thrift stores and junk shops and picking up 45s and 78s. For me these were the new records as they were coming out. I just kind of immersed myself in that. I don’t know, I feel funny sometimes. I might have lost a lot on the way, what was happening currently along the way.

“But I think I gained something from it as well.”

EVENTUALLY, the early ’80s rockabilly revival spearheaded by such bands as the Blasters and Stray Cats gave Big Sandy a scene to join–and soon afterward the inspiration to try music for himself. Wearing ’50s-era outfits and sporting a sound that was more traditionally rooted than new wavish rockabilly groups like the Stray Cats, Big Sandy and his Fly-Rite Boys made quick progress.

“It’s funny, but when I was in high school in ’81–I graduated in ’82–I started noticing there were shows going on,” Big Sandy says. “I’d find these flyers, ‘rockabilly this or that.’ And pretty soon there were quite a few rockabilly bands around town. They were playing like kind of a more updated version of it, but it was similar to the stuff I’d been listening to.

“I right away fell into that scene.”

Big Sandy and the Fly-Rite Boys perform Thursday, Jan. 28, at 8:30 p.m. Powerhouse Brewing Co., 268 Petaluma Ave., Sebastopol. Call for ticket info. 829-9171.

From the January 21-27, 1999 issue of the Sonoma County Independent.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

The Scoop

The Revised 3 R’s

By Bob Harris

THANKS to the way Congress spends the educational budget, the three R’s are apparently now Reading, ‘Riting, and Re-election campaigns. In a given year’s federal budget, the federal Department of Education is able to allocate only about 10 percent of its resources to discretionary stuff–innovative programs, reforms, research on new teaching techniques, and so on.

It’s pretty obvious that really trying to figure out some new approaches in education wouldn’t be a bad idea. I perform at colleges all the time, and I swear to you that more than half the time, the student introducing me is barely able to read my printed introduction. Anyway, it turns out that precious little innovation is actually happening. Instead, according to a recent nice piece of work in the Los Angeles Times, most of the discretionary money in the national education budget is getting diverted into pork-barrel local stuff that serves only the interests of a few well-connected contributors or the members of one senator’s district.

In the last year, you and I have had the privilege of helping to pay for the Paul Simon Public Policy Institute in Carbondale, Ill., and the Robert J. Dole Institute for Public Service in Lawrence, Kans., neither of which is probably going to change the way kids are taught to read in the 99.96 percent of America not located in these two throbbing metropoles.

We’ve paid hundreds of thousands of dollars to assemble an oral history of labor unions in Iowa, the home state of Sen. Tom Harkin, a ranking Democrat on the Appropriations Committee, and about $10 million for an exhibit on the Constitution in Philadelphia, the bailiwick of Sen. Arlen Specter, the ranking Republican. So what do we do about it? Well, before we can act and vote and raise a ruckus, the first thing we have to do is educate ourselves. Which, if we don’t do anything about it, is exactly what we’ll all wind up doing anyway.

EXCEPT FOR ABOUT a half-dozen things no one in their right mind would do (like, say, swallowing a sewing kit, bobbing for lobsters, dating a fashion model), there’s nothing worse than guilt by association.

That’s what McCarthyism was about. Somebody would merely say they saw you talking to a communist, and then next thing you know all the good writers in Hollywood get blacklisted, and pretty soon The Waterboy is No. 1 at the box office.

But it’s different if the person in question, say, actually chooses to attend communist party meetings, contributes a column to a communist journal, and lets his name be used to promote communist causes, all with full knowledge of what it’s about. Then it’s no more of a stretch to say he supports the communist party than it is to say that Castro supports the cigar industry, Casey Kasem supports pop music, and Pauly Shore supports comedy. None of them have anything directly to do with the enterprise, but their efforts suggest more than a passing interest, futile though it may be.

With me so far? There’s something just like that, but different, to talk about.

There’s a group called the Council of Conservative Citizens you might want to know about. They call themselves conservative, but check their website at www.cofcc.org, and you’ll see that they’re a direct descendant of the White Citizens groups who so bitterly fought against civil rights and equality for all Americans. One click from the CCC homepage brings you to screeds exposing the alleged dark secrets of Abraham Lincoln and Martin Luther King and even calling for a second Civil War to preserve the white race. The page also maintains direct links to the National Front, an openly and unashamedly fascist group, and a bunch of white-supremacist newsletters and organizations.

Suppose for a minute that some prominent national leader endorsed that group, had close family who belonged, spoke several times at their functions, and contributed to their newsletter. And suppose that the guy’s spokesman misled the press to cover it up?

Wouldn’t you want to know?

And suppose that the information was publicized in one of the biggest newspapers in America. Wouldn’t you expect there to be a firestorm of protest from the “liberal” media? Wouldn’t the decent people who make up most of this country demand a full explanation and possibly a resignation? You’d think, so, wouldn’t you?

OK. Trent Lott. The Senate majority leader. He’s really tight with the Council of Conservative Citizens.

That’s every bit as newsworthy as who–anybody is sleeping with, isn’t it?

I mean, isn’t it?

From the January 21-27, 1999 issue of the Sonoma County Independent.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Mud Baths

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Down ‘n’ Dirty

Michael Amsler



A little mudslinging does a body good

By Paula Harris

HERE WE ARE,” announces “Ramona,” my white-uniformed, pink-lipsticked spa attendant as we round a corner from the changing room to the mud baths at Dr. Wilkinson’s Hot Springs in Calistoga–the volcanic-mud capital of Northern California. She gestures to the tubful of thick brown glop bubbling and splattering nastily across the white tiles, then takes a shovel and turns the steaming mess over a few times.

Omigod, I think, it has bits in it.

“Hand me your bath towel and hop in,” she coos with a barely disguised smirk of amusement. Yeah, um, right. Hesitating, I try to purge my mind of all the filthy thoughts that surface as I look into the murky depths: slimy ditches, barnyard troughs, exploding septic tanks.

The mud continues to belch and Ramona continues to look amused.

Naked, apart from a white towel turban, I sit on the edge of the tub, gingerly slide in one leg, and feel the hot muck squelching between my toes and then ooze boldly everywhere else. “Don’t worry, you’re not going to sink,” assures my trusty attendant, noticing my worried glance. I swear I see her lips twitch. “It’s only three feet deep.”

Once I’m immersed, Ramona piles more mud on top of my torso, packing it down with her hands. By the time she is done, her palms are almost black. The mud feels heavy, like a warm, wet blanket. “Be right back,” she chortles and is suddenly gone.

I am immobile, left to contemplate this strange sensation that’s touted as an ancient health and beauty treatment. The basis for the traditional mud bath used at Dr. Wilkinson’s is volcanic ash left over from the eruption of Mt. St. Helena. The mud is brought in dry each morning and mixed with the boiling mineral water from the gurgling geothermal well on the property. A little peat moss is added for texture.

I know that the mud is kept in the tubs and reused several times over, boiling water being used to sterilize it between clients, but still I hope this is a fresh batch. Before I can dwell on this any further, Ramona reappears. “Water?” she inquires like a good sommelier, placing a plastic tumblerful on the side of the bath. Luckily, the bent straw reaches my mouth, because there is no way I can extricate my arms.

Next, Ramona applies a peppermint mask to my face, places cucumber slices over my eyes, and suggests I drift off for a few minutes. Lying motionlessly suspended in the goop, like a bug caught in amber, I begin to feel tensions slipping away. I inhale the dank, fresh earth smells seeping up from the concoction.

The bits no longer bother me.

ALL TOO SOON, Ramona helps pull me out of the glop. A warm, tangerine- and lavender-scented mineral whirlpool bath, a steam bath, a shower, and a brief nap while I’m swaddled in warm blankets top off the treatment.

While mud-wallowing is definitely a down ‘n’ dirty experience that can even seem off-putting to the uninitiated–just recall how your mother always told you not to play in it–mud baths endure as a popular aesthetic treatment.

The main benefit, say spa practitioners, is that the mud is detoxifying and thus cleansing. It is usually administered as a heat treatment used in tangent with steam or hot water, and so encourages a high amount of perspiration, which purifies the system and leaves the skin cleansed, smooth, and refreshed. In addition, sufferers of muscular aches and arthritis may find the mud bath soothing because it eases muscle and joint pains.

“People have been taking mud baths all over the world for centuries traditionally and historically for arthritic and rheumatic ailments,” explains Dr. John Wilkinson, a sprightly former chiropractor and founder of 46-year-old Dr. Wilkinson’s Hot Springs. Now age 84 and thriving, Wilkinson reveals, “Yes, I do still take a mud bath now and again, I read the newspaper in there. It’s total relaxation.”

According to Wilkinson, mud treatments also provide a much-needed respite from a fast-paced world, and are part of an overall alternative health-care trend. “Mud baths and hot springs fit right into that total alternative health-care picture,” he says.

Although the mud is a natural resource rich in minerals, Wilkinson is cautious when asked about its curative and beautifying properties. “We don’t claim that the mud has any magic chemicals,” he’s quick to point out, adding that many clients, women in particular, have remarked that their skin “feels milkier or creamier” after the treatment.

My own skin feels a bit softer, my body lighter and relaxed after the treatment. As I leave the spa, I think, “This could be addictive,” and note a distinct a sense of well-being. I sleep exceptionally well that night.

But, be forewarned: Expect to find tiny mud-pie remnants behind the ears the next day.

Dr. Wilkinson’s Hot Springs is located at 1507 Lincoln Ave., Calistoga; 942-4879. A one-and-a-half hour treatment costs $55. Golden Haven Hot Springs is at 1713 Lake St., Calistoga; 942-6793.

From the January 14-20, 1999 issue of the Sonoma County Independent.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Cucina Paradiso

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Heaven’s Gate

Simply divine: Cucina Paradiso in Petaluma blends Old World charm and fresh local ingredients for a winning mixture.

Two young Italian chefs stake out their own small corner of paradise

By Marina Wolf

IT’S EARLY on a weekday afternoon and Cucina Paradiso is slowing down. Small clusters of people bask in the setting winter sun, sipping coffee and toying with their desserts. The show, for the moment, seems to be over. But in reality, the action has simply moved next door, to an empty storefront. There, chef/owner Dennis di Branca and co-chef Mario di Paola wander the dusty space. Ghosts of counters and tables and shelving spring up around their slow, considered movements.

The two men’s intentions are as clear as the blank glass: expansion.

Di Branca purchased Cucina Paradiso just last August with his wife, Malena Hipolito, and bought out a previous partner’s shares in November, but they already are hoping to add space to their compact kitchen and dining area sometime in the first half of the year. “The owner says, yes, but ah, it takes time, six months … “Di Branca’s voice trails off, not from uncertainty but because his English is still too halting to express the drive that brought him and di Paola over the course of years from their homes in Sicily to a plain-faced riverfront building in a nondescript shopping mall near downtown Petaluma. Here their fresh, light-handed interpretations of Old World Italian cuisine have been garnering enthusiastic reviews from the local press and restaurant-going public.

Di Paola, who held down an executive-chef position at a restaurant in San Bruno until this month, is glad to get praise for his hard work. Of course, he’s used to the work, having been in the kitchen for two decades. Not too bad for a 34-year-old. “In Sicily, it is totally different from America or North Europe,” he says in broken English and a mellifluous accent. “We are not so poor people, but we need to go to work at young age.” In 1979, at age 15, di Paola entered a three-year cooking institute in Palermo; in the summertime he and his fellow students were sent out to work in hotels and village restaurants around the region.

Di Branca, on the other hand, started out in an engineering program in Italy. His efforts in science ended early–“Sometimes you just know when something is not right,” he says simply when asked why he changed his mind. Di Branca started all over as a busboy and worked his way up through restaurants in both Italy and the United States.

ITALY IS KNOWN as a country where everybody, even busboys, seems to know and live good food. Liking food, and learning to work with it, is as easy as breathing. The food both men remember as their first dishes, omelets, are intimidating to grown people here, but the ingredients and preparation are simplicity itself, literally kids’ stuff–in Italy.

“Lots of kids [in Italy] know how to make things to eat,” says di Paola. “Here, in America, kids go out, they go to McDonald’s.”

There are McDonald’s in Italy, he says, but the fast-food chain is only just starting to catch on. Twenty years ago nobody went to McDonald’s. “Sinsa lira,” interjects di Branca in a shy mumble. The meaning is apparent even before Mario translates for the Italian-impaired: no money.

“But now people in Italy, they buy a lot of McDonald’s,” adds di Paola. “It’s something different.”

Di Branca nods in agreement. “They like to try. It’s something new, you go to try it.”

The men’s open-mindedness about the meaning of new food in an increasingly global culinary culture is an interesting contrast–or complement–to their own dedication to Old World traditions. Most of their basic groceries–cheeses, dried pasta, oils–are imported from Italy. Fresh pasta is made daily by hand. And between the two of them, di Branca and di Paola have worked in very traditional kitchens with some masters of Italian cuisine, learning the old ways. Among his words of admiration for his mentors, di Paola says, “They are very strong because they learn in a different age. Maybe [because] in that time they don’t have mixers.”

FEW PEOPLE in the modern-day United States understand, as di Paola does, that a kitchen without electric gadgets means laborious work. Pesto is made with a pestle (the two words come from the same root, meaning to crush). Bread dough, elastic and lively, must be wrestled into loaves every day. Produce is chopped/ minced/grated by hand, and the loudest noise is when somebody drops a lid. Technological advances have made things different. “Before in the kitchen there were 20 people,” di Paola explains. “Now you can do with six or seven people the same food.”

Using fewer people means using less space, a particularly relevant point for the staff of Cucina Paradiso. Walled off in one corner, di Branca and di Paola need to get by with two or three people. In spite of their space constraints, the two are happily reproducing the flavor and feel of their home region’s cooking, using only a few “newfangled” machines–a pasta machine, a food processor. They want to incorporate even more of the handcrafted tradition, when they have more room.

And as di Branca and di Paola eye the storefront next door, new possibilities seem, well, right around the corner.

From the January 14-20, 1999 issue of the Sonoma County Independent.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Petaluma Domestic Partner Benefits

Howdy, Pardner

Michael Amsler



In a landmark move, Petaluma has approved domestic partner benefits. Is the county next?

By Janet Wells

DEPUTY COUNTY Counsel Sheryl Bratton figures she loses about $10,000 a year because the county won’t cover health and retirement benefits for her partner of two years. Bratton is a member of a committee working to persuade the county Board of Supervisors to join a dozen Northern California cities and counties that offer domestic partner benefits. The supervisors dodged the issue almost four years ago, but it is coming around again. On Jan. 26 the board is scheduled to vote on forming a subcommittee to study the fiscal impact of offering benefits to the unmarried county employees who are in long-term partnerships.

A vote on offering benefits could come as early as March.

“If you’re married, the county will contribute a certain amount for payroll benefits for your spouse,” Bratton says. “So my neighbor in my office, who has the same qualifications as I do, makes more money.”

Bratton would be celebrating instead of lobbying if she worked for the city of Petaluma, which last week became the first city in Sonoma County to approve domestic partner benefits.

“The best thing we could do for our employees to equal the playing field is to provide protection to people they are committed to, whether they are married or not,” Petaluma City Councilwoman Jane Hamilton says.

Petaluma resident Jim Spahr, president of the North Bay chapter of Parents, Families, and Friends of Lesbians and Gays, brought the domestic partners issue to the city last year. “I’m doing this because it’s the right thing to do. There is major discrimination of lesbian, bi, gay, and transgender folks,” says Spahr, a married insurance agent.

“My ex-wife is Janie Spahr, a lesbian evangelist. I knew Janie when she thought she was a straight woman. I knew her and loved her until she came to accept the fact that she wasn’t a straight woman,” Spahr continues.

“I have two beautiful sons by Jane. I have a stepdaughter who gave me two gorgeous grandkids. They’re my family. There’s no difference between family A and family B.”

Petaluma’s domestic partners resolution offers dental and vision coverage to partners of city employees who are in long-term relationships and sharing living expenses and financial responsibility. The resolution likely will benefit fewer than six of Petaluma’s 275 municipal employees, costing the city about $1,000 per domestic partner annually. Medical and retirement benefits for city employees are contracted for through the state, which does not cover domestic partner benefits. Medical and retirement benefits to domestic partners would add about $10,000 per person to the city’s annual $3.6 million employee benefits price tag.

Absorbing the additional cost of covering medical and retirement benefits would be fine with the council, Hamilton says. “Most of us felt like that was appropriate. We are offering the best kind of protection plan, so we stay competitive as an employer.”

Councilman Matt McGuire, who lives with his partner, could benefit personally from the resolution. “If I so chose, we could register. But we’re planning on getting married this year, and she already has full medical benefits at her job,” he says. “My interest in it has always been that gay, lesbian, transgender, and hetero non-married people are discriminated against in terms of benefits.”

PETALUMA’S resolution passed with a unanimous 7-0 vote, but the issue was not without opposition. “Providing legal recognition to partnerships that are other than a legal marriage between a man and a women essentially undermines marriage and the traditional family, and that’s harmful to society,” says Kurtis Kearl, bishop at the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints in Petaluma, who spoke at the council’s public hearing.

Petaluma Christian Church Pastor Wayne Bigelow agrees: ‘I want to do everything we can to build up marriage rather than undermine it. One of the illnesses plaguing America is lack of commitment. Marriage says, ‘I make a commitment to you.’ Being a domestic partner could mean commitment, but often it’s just an escape clause,” Bigelow says. Both Kearl and Bigelow are more concerned about the registration portion of the resolution than about the actual benefits to domestic partners.

“It says our philosophy in Petaluma is that living together is equivalent to marriage, and that just isn’t so,” Bigelow says. “The U.S. Justice Department in 1992 said that female partners in domestic partnerships are 62 times more likely to be assaulted than in a marriage. That’s just one of the downsides.”

Vocal opponents are “afraid that marriage as an institution is in trouble,” Hamilton says. “With a 50 percent divorce rate, obviously it is. But it’s not in trouble because of this. I feel we need to support the essence of family, not the narrow model of family.”

While approving domestic partnership benefits, Petaluma still lags behind several large, local private employers, including AFC, SOLA Optical USA, Kaiser, and Hewlett Packard. Spahr says he intends to take the issue to the Petaluma School Board next, while Santa Rosa attorney Caren Callahan is fronting domestic partnership at the county level.

THE COUNTY has 4,080 employees eligible for benefits, and a domestic partnership resolution would likely affect 40 to 80 people. Callahan says there are enough votes to support a board subcommittee study of the issue, but it won’t be unanimous. “I think the family unit is something that’s important, and I consider the family unit to be a man and a woman,” says Supervisor Paul Kelley, who has opposed county domestic partner benefits in the past. “I don’t feel any necessity, at least on a local level, to make any changes.”

Domestic partnership registration, which is available in Berkeley, Oakland, Palo Alto, Sacramento, Davis, San Francisco, and Marin County, is not likely to find a welcoming political climate in Sonoma County. “I have problems with the registry,” says Supervisor Mike Cale, who otherwise supports domestic partner benefits. “The fundamental issue in the way that it’s written is anyone who’s 18 or over can come in and benefit. I can’t condone two 18-year-olds to set up house just by signing a paper. In three months you get tired of each other and you sign another piece of paper.

“That’s not how a relationship develops.”

From the January 14-20, 1999 issue of the Sonoma County Independent.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Fitness Fads

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Fitness Fads

Michael Amsler



Muscle in on a multitude of new exercise options

By Paula Harris

WITH CHRISTMAS stockings, turkeys, and bellies all suitably stuffed for another year, the next round in the annual ritual is here. Overindulgers everywhere are resolving to coax themselves off the couch. “Shed flab, get fit, feel fantastic” is again the mantra of the moment. The road from pig-out to workout may well be paved with sweat, tears, and garaged treadmills, but there are plenty of fitness alternatives out there.

Here are a few local favorites:


Pretzel Logic

IN THE ’80S, Jane Fonda embodied the ideal when she pulled on her shiny turquoise leotard and urged us to “feel the burn!” These days, multimedia icon Madonna has become the latest exercise “expert” by applying a Vaishnava tilak (sacred Hindu facial marking), donning a sari at the MTV Awards, and touting the Eastern mysticism of Ashtanga power yoga. People are listening.

These days, the studio at Santa Rosa’s Airport Health Club is humming with rigorous activity. But it’s not weightlifting that has the participants grunting and breathless like barefoot Charles Atlases–it’s yoga. If you’ve pegged this exercise as placid and low-key (and perfect for a lazybones like you), think again. Instructor Alexei Brown is working the heck out this group of eager students with his strenuous blend of Hatha and Ashtanga yogas.

“It’s not supposed to be a cakewalk,” says Brown. “I don’t try to tone down the class. If it’s not a challenge, it’s boring.”

He leads the students through a succession of increasingly demanding poses and demands that they hold their contortions for several punitive moments. During these power yoga workouts, the dimly lit studio is silent except for soft recorded music, a few creaking joints and quiet groans, and one woman who hisses “Jee-sus!” to herself whenever the going gets too tough.

According to Brown, yoga will improve flexibility, strength, stamina, and balance, and will keep the spine flexible. “Yoga keeps your mind calm and focused when everything around you may be wavering,” he says.

“It’s the greatest gift I’ve found for myself so far.”

Several local health clubs have added yoga classes because of Madonna’s flirtation with the discipline, and there are classes offered at community centers and elsewhere. Shop around. For details on the Airport Club’s classes, call 528-2582.


Atten-shun!

“MY WORKOUT can be so hard you’re puking,” says Renee Scott, a trim, muscular woman with a blond ponytail and clad in army fatigues, black sports bra, biker jacket, and combat boots as she lugs gym equipment at Body Central Fitness Club for Women. Scott is preparing for her first GI Jane workout, a basic training-type class at the club. Part tough-cookie, part comedienne (she plans to play Loony Toons music during the workout), Scott, who has spent several years in the Navy and the U.S. Coast Guard, looks amused as word of her upcoming military moves begin freaking out some of the health club regulars.

“I decided not to do [the GI Jane workout]. It looks too tough,” confides one woman. But, military-style workouts that promise peak physical condition are all the rage. “These workouts remind me of high school PE classes,” says Kim Ryan, general manager at the Park Point Health Club, which offers similar classes, called Boot Camp, for men and women (patrons there can get sissy cards that waive any exercises deemed too tough). “There’s drilling, chanting, and marching to army music. People love it because they’re motivated by the instructor, and there’s teamwork and camaraderie.”

“Military workouts are simple on the mind,” says Scott. “And really good if someone’s been working all day.”

Scott’s workout (taught at Body Central for women and Stan Bennett’s Health and Fitness in Rohnert Park for men and women), which incorporates calisthenics, push-ups, jumping jacks, weight lifting, and Tae Bo-type moves, burns more calories in 45 minutes than a step class does in an hour. “You’re gonna be tired when you leave, but not so that you can’t drive home,” she says.

For info on Body Central’s GI Jane workout, call 525-8663. For details on Scott’s class at Stan Bennett’s Health and Fitness, call 585-3232. For info on the Park Point club’s Boot Camp, call 578 -1640.


Peddle Pushers

OVER AT Montecito Heights Health and Racquet Club, 10 people are clinging to stationary bicycles, their toned legs whirring like frantic egg beaters. They’re Spinning, which is one of the hottest and most strenuous new fitness crazes. “Spinning has been big for the last couple of years,” says A. J. Maldonano, fitness director and Spinning instructor at Montecito Heights. “But now it’s going gangbusters.”

Geared particularly for those in pretty good shape, the Spinning workout is a high-intensity, group, indoor-cycling session on a set of modified stationary bicycles that allow the riders to control pedaling resistance. But unlike the bikes in the old days of individual riding, these are fanned out in a semi-circle around the instructor, who can monitor each rider on a control panel and offer, well, encouragement to those that lag behind.

So don’t expect to sit placidly and catch up on your reading or watch your favorite TV cooking show–this is a real workout.

“It’s a group situation with an instructor or leader who takes you through valleys and hills and puts on resistance as if you’re going up regular hills,” explains Maldonano.

A Spinning session burns between 500 and 800 calories an hour. “I’ve heard that it’s like cramming a grueling three-hour “Tour de France” ride into a 45-minute workout,” pants a sweaty Spinner named Jeff.

Spinning not only works legs, buttocks, and heart, but enthusiasts say it tones all the muscles, including arms, stomach, and chest. Plus, one experiences an endorphin-infused sense of serenity when it’s over!

Many health clubs offer Spinning classes, so call around. For more info about classes at Montecito Heights Health and Racquet Club, call 526-0529.



Michael Amsler

Put a bounce in your step: KanGoo Jumps are portable trampolines.

Jump Start

“AHHWWOOOO!,” yowls Daniel Taylor, startling a woman with two tykes in tow in the middle of Santa Rosa Plaza Mall with his ear-piercing werewolf impersonation. “Whatcha all doing walking the old-fashioned way?” he demands. The wary woman ushers the kids forward and rapidly scurries on, trying to ignore the bearded man in bouncy boots who’s goading them all to try his strange footgear. Taylor, unperturbed, bounces after them in his KanGoo Jumps. “C’mon, let’s jump!” he enthuses, then shrugs good-naturedly as they duck into a store. He begins scanning the concourse for the next approaching victim.

“Once the endorphins kick in, I get downright goofy here,” he confides. “This releases the inner child.”

The shiny plastic boots with springs attached may look dangerous as hell, but Taylor says they’re actually very stable, once you get used to them.

The manufacturer claims that KanGoo Jumps reduce the impact shock to joints and that bouncing in them burns calories and tones the body. “I used to weigh 260 pounds and could hardly pull my ass off the chair,” confides Taylor with a grin.

“Now, I’m soooo buff.”

On the feet, the jump boots are strange, indeed, and not entirely easy to get used to. Still, the biggest attraction of this new health toy has to be one’s newfound ability to ricochet around town like a demented springbok. “Most people quit their exercise routine because it’s not fun, it hurts, or it’s boring,” explains Taylor. “This really is fun, it gets your endorphins crankin’–and it finally gets you moving again.”

KanGoo Jumps cost $129 for kids, $199 for adults. For details, call 566-9262.


Hip Action

LEILANI MARINO exudes a warmth she describes as “Aloha Spirit.” With her quick smile and sincere greeting, you almost expect Marino, who is a nurse and Hawaiian dance teacher, to place a lei around your neck at the first meeting. The sign outside her Santa Rosa studio reads: “Hulacize. No dancing experience necessary, only enthusiasm, positive attitude, and a working body.”

If the prospect of wiping down the sticky equipment in a sweaty gym gives you the heebie-jeebies, the gentle art of hula may be just the answer.

Not that the island dance form is as easy as it looks, mind you.

“People think [hula] is really simple, that you just get out there and wiggle your hips,” says Marino. “But it takes a lot of leg-muscle control, strong arms, upper body strength, and coordination. It’s not quite as simple as it seems.”

Marino coined the term “hulacize” to appeal to people who love Hawaiian music and culture, but are leery about performing. “I do exercise routines using hula steps, and it still gets people involved,” she explains, adding that hulacize benefits include greater flexibility and toning of thighs, upper arms, and abdominals, as well as improved posture. The classes include a 10-minute warm-up with chanting, 30 minutes of dance, and 10 minutes of cool-down using visualization and meditation. Marino, who grew up in Oahu and Kauai, says hula is more than just a tourist attraction. “It’s a philosophy, an attitude,” she says.

To reach Marino, call 576-8184; or call SRJC community ed at 527-4371.


Kick Some Butt

WHEN Heather Hardy, 24, first became a kickboxing instructor three years ago, her students dubbed the tough, 5-foot-4-inch, 120-pound martial arts expert “Little Hitler.” Not that the nickname fazed her. These days, Hardy is a much-sought-after instructor of kickboxing at Body Central Fitness Club for Women and the North Bay Kung Fu Academy.

Kickboxing, a combination of Western-style boxing and karate that offers a great aerobic workout, is red-hot right now. “[Kickboxing] is different, new,” Hardy says.

“It’s not like step classes, lifting weights, or walking on a treadmill–people get bored with that stuff.”

Hardy says the empowering sport appeals to many women. “It gets out a lot of aggression, punching and kicking–things women aren’t ‘supposed’ to do,” she explains. “Some women are intimidated about throwing a punch, but they find the power. I love to see the change when that comes out.”

A typical kickboxing workout consists of five minutes of jumping rope, 10 minutes of foot drills, 15 minutes of kicking and punching drills, five minutes of abdominal workouts, and five minutes of sheer, unleashed aggression on the punching bag.

This intensive cardiovascular workout increases range of motion and really burns calories. “Anyone can do kickboxing,” Hardy says. “I don’t think anyone should be intimidated.”

Many clubs in the county offer kickboxing classes. For details about classes at Body Central, call 525-8663. For information about classes at North Bay Kung Fu Academy, call 576-3911.


From the January 14-20, 1999 issue of the Sonoma County Independent.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

More Fun Than Bowling

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Hit and Miss

More Fun Than Bowling.

Alan Armstrong



‘More Fun Than Bowling’ delivers strikes and spares

By Daedalus Howell

YES, IT WOULD be poor form to reveal the nature of actor Dodds Delzell’s groundbreaking entrance in More Fun Than Bowling, now playing at Actors’ Theatre. Suffice it to say, the secret handshake between Houdini and Ed Wood is an admirable feat of peat and a plot twist par excellence. It’s a dirty job Delzell does with aplomb, and you’ll dig it.

Directed by Celeste Thomas, More Fun Than Bowling is playwright Steven Dietz’s seriocomic nod to small-town love and destiny refracted through the unlikely crystal ball of bowling.

Meet Jake Tomlinson (the earthy Delzell), a buffoonish bowling alley proprietor whose love life is riddled with gutter balls. Two of Jake’s three young wives died in freak bowling-related accidents–the other left him lovesick and single-handedly raising his firecracker daughter Molly (Rebecca Miller). The play finds Jake keeping a graveside vigil with a tattered copy of Reader’s Digest, pondering his predicament, further addled by a prophecy of his own untimely demise.

Skulking in the shadows throughout is the ominous Mr. Dyson (a hilarious Al Liner), who sports a mafioso’s fedora, dark glasses, and a pistol as he alludes to his inevitable confrontation with Jake. Constantly spouting a barrage of silly-ass automotive metaphors, Mr. Dyson speaks directly to the audience, leading it by the hand through Dietz’s convolution of confessionals and whimsical encounters with the dead.

If only the plot were laid out as plainly as the plots dominating the set (real dirt was wheelbarrowed in to create graves). The play’s knotted through-line is the result of an unconventional and often muddled experiment in storytelling, as the playwright shirks linear development for a circuitous unraveling that almost works, thanks to director Thomas’s keen sense of pacing.

Most of the play seems to linger at the periphery of the slightly unhinged Jake’s memory as he communes with his dead wives through a convoluted series of flashbacks corralled by discursive tête-à-têtes with the audience.

Throughout, Dietz comically proves bowling jargon an effective emotional vocabulary as Jake touts his homespun philosophy–at once fatalistic and direly romantic–revealing he is equal parts lovable lug and Zen master. Indeed, bowling does have its own protocols and perspective, the humorous sanctity of which Delzell conveys with wholehearted zeal. Therein lies what is perhaps the play’s most profound message: The universe offers an infinite amount of portals through which to understand its workings. For Jake this window is bowling. Who hasn’t had a 7-10 split in their life?

Kristen Greer is wonderful as the sweet-hearted hairdresser Loretta, wife No. 3, who briefly helps reset Jake’s pins after the death of her predecessor and best friend Lois (Janice Ray) before she too is snuffed by the bowling gods. Greer infuses Loretta with such genuine warmth and vigor that one easily empathizes with Jake’s pain at her loss.

Such onstage synergy continues with Ray’s distinctly drawn Lois, who provides a crisp, sensible balance to Jake’s off-kilter demeanor. Pugnacious teenager Molly is likewise given a nuanced portrayal by Miller. This promising young actress’ earnest portrayal of the exasperated teen is a near perfect score.

Routinely stealing the show, Liner’s Mr. Dyson confidently clears the chancy chasm between character and caricature. Liner’s cool manner and matter-of-fact delivery are a perfect complement to an otherwise frenetic stage.

Though the first act leaves some spares (the playwright drops the ball with his meticulous attention to back-story), the second ably knocks down the pins and ends with a strike. AT’s More Fun Than Bowling is more fun than bowling, and you don’t even have to change your shoes.

More Fun Than Bowling plays at 8 p.m. Thursdays through Saturdays and at 2 p.m. on Sundays through Feb. 13 at Actors’ Theatre, 50 Mark West Springs Road, Santa Rosa. Tickets are $5 -$12. 523-4185.

From the January 14-20, 1999 issue of the Sonoma County Independent.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

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