Sex Tips

0

Operating instructions for the sexually challenged

AS ANYONE who pays attention to the news–and to politics in particular–must surely be aware, there are certain nefarious forces afoot these days that claim, quite loudly and vociferously, that the institution of marriage, if not exactly being faced with imminent extinction, is surely being seriously threatened.

While one might agree that marriage–the spiritual union of any two loving and committed souls–is not always what it should be, one could strongly disagree with the solution proposed by these political troublemakers: namely, that the legal definition of marriage be confined to couples of separate genders (i.e., one man, one woman).

This solution will never save marriage. It will only limit it to the group of people who, all on their own, have managed to push divorce rates so high that modern marriages have a mere 50/50 chance of lasting. The real threats to marriage are such things as husbands who sleep with women other than their wives, and such things as prenuptial contracts and social pressures that force young people into unhappy shotgun liaisons merely because someone got too frisky to use a condom.

Then there’s the No. 1 threat to modern marriage: boring sex.

As the great philosopher/comic Phyllis Diller once said, “Marriages are pretty much like apples on a tree. They’ll go bad if someone’s not plucking the fruit now and then.”

With this in mind, here’s a short list of Valentine’s Day gifts, specially designed to add a little spice to any couple’s bedroom. For best results, however, it is suggested that these helpful books, games, and the like be employed regularly throughout the year, not just on Valentine’s Day or wedding anniversaries.

101 Great Quickies by Laura Corn is a novel twist on the standard sex guides that fill bookstore shelves. The pages of this book are actually sealed envelopes, 101 of them, each containing a separate suggestion for a short, spicy commingling. With such curiosity-provoking titles as “Delicious Torture” and “Lickity Splits,” the possibilities are obvious.

The Sensuality Shoppe, in Sebastopol, is a treasure trove of potential marriage-enhancers, from negligees and silk boxer shorts to Botanica Erotica organic massage oils, edible lotions (see “Natural Urges,” page 16) and, er, toys. Among the most ingenious and psychologically satisfying offerings are an array of bedroom board games, with titles like “ForePlay” and “Speak Love/Make Love,” specifically created to strengthen the bond between lovers as they get certain juices flowing. A good one is “Romantic Rendezvous,” a game of love, intimacy, and adventure, in which the two players toss their dice and move around a board, stopping on squares with pointed suggestions–from kisses to declarations of love to, well, you get the idea–that must be acted on immediately before play resumes. The nice thing about these games, of course, is that everyone wins.

For a more cerebral approach, may we suggest some good steamy poetry. The Love Poems of Rumi, translated by Deepak Chopra, offers some of the most tantalizing words of love ever crafted in any language. For a more modern touch, Diane Ackerman’s collection of poems The Jaguar of Sweet Laughter includes some of the most heart-rate-accelerating poems in recent memory.

InterCourses: An Aphrodisiac Cookbook, by Martha Hopkins and Randall Lockridge, is perfect for the couple that feels the urge to cook together. Beautifully illustrated, the book reveals such tantalizing treats as grapes rolled in almonds and ginger and Thai chicken with peanut sauce, recipes in which the preparation is as stimulating and the, um, consummation.

Who knows, with such relationship enhancers as these, even Newt Gingrich might have stayed married. May he have better luck with his next partner, whoever she–or he–might be.

From the February 10-16, 2000 issue of the Sonoma County Independent.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

‘Amadeus,’ ‘La Cage aux Folles’

0

Amadeus.

Music Makers

Two theatrical productions strike high notes

By Daedalus Howell

CURSE the ephemeral nature of live theater! Though it will be gone from the stage in just a few weeks, Sonoma County Repertory’s production of playwright Peter Shaffer’s Amadeus should be bottled and shared with the generations.

Expertly directed by Jim DePriest, Shaffer’s masterpiece is based on real-life speculation that 18th-century composer Antonio Salieri hastened the demise of his prodigiously talented rival Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart.

As a young man, Salieri (John Moran) wants nothing more than to be a composer and eventually finds patronage with Emperor Joseph II (played here by a comically superb Gerald Haston). But when the vainglorious Mozart (Ben Stowe) sashays into the Viennese court, the maestro’s perspective sours. As he recounts, “Was it so early that I began to have thoughts of murder?”

In a profound turn in his career on local stages, Moran offers a pitch- perfect portrayal of the court composer–a man whose artistic envy is so dark that he launches a one-man hate campaign against God.

To say Moran does his usual laudable best here would be an insult to this performance. For the duration of this show, the man simply is Salieri in all his wit, whimsy, and wretchedness. Moran’s performance of the famed “mediocrity” speech is both exquisite and harrowing as the character realizes that his work, unlike Mozart’s, was of its time, but not timeless.

Fans of the Academy Award-winning film version of Shaffer’s play may liken some of Stowe’s stage-borne antics to those originated by actor Tom Hulce (namely, the signature giggle), but the young actor is ultimately successful in finding his own voice for Shaffer’s text.

Though its length may have playgoers of lesser stamina hearing lullabies, in the end, SCR’s Amadeus is music to the ears.

THE SANTA ROSA PLAYERS’ production of the gender-bending chestnut La Cage aux Folles isn’t all a drag. Directed by Bob Rom, this saucy send-up of sugar and spice and all things vice is set at a French cabaret famed for its female impersonators.

Alpha-she-male Albin (Vance Smallwood), all mascara and moxie, turns in the performance of his life posing as the mother of his gay lover’s grown son when the young man brings home his conservative future father-in-law.

An avalanche of mini-disasters ensues (both in the plot and onstage), but the show makes up for its lack of polish with a handful of rousing song-and-dance numbers. Thank its gaggle of Gagelles (the faux broad-squad that works as sort of a Greek chorus throughout the show). The energy these boys muster is simply atomic.

Though their va-va-voom isn’t always the pinnacle of grace–some of the femmed-up fellas look like piano movers despite their clean-shaven bodies–they invariably land on their feet. At times one may wish this production was simply a revue of its estimable musical portion, since many of the acted segues are ham-handed or even inaudible. But the cast excels with the acrobatic dance routines cooked up by choreographer Anthony Gianchetta and can carry a tune when backed by the tight five-piece orchestra led by talented young keyboardist Paul Stroba.

Like La Cage‘s signature tune, “We Are What We Are,” this production is what it is–a light, frivolous spectacle.

‘Amadeus’ plays Thursdays-Saturdays at 8 p.m. and Sundays, Feb. 13 and 20, at 2 p.m. through March 4, at the Sonoma County Repertory Theatre, 415 Humboldt St., Santa Rosa. $10-$15. 544-7278.

‘La Cage aux Folles’ plays Fridays and Saturdays at 8 p.m. and Sundays at 2 p.m. through March 5 at the Lincoln Arts Center, 709 Davis St., Santa Rosa. $11-$13. 544-7827.

From the February 10-16, 2000 issue of the Sonoma County Independent.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Murphy’s Irish Pub

0

Seasonal spirits: Larry Murphy keeps the ale–and the good times–flowing at Murphy’s Irish Pub in Sonoma.

Suds ‘n’ Grub

Murphy’s Irish Pub: a casual hangout with lots of lively atmosphere

By Paula Harris

IT’S A DRIZZLY DARK night in downtown Sonoma. For once, the historic plaza is quiet and seems almost empty. We amble down one of the narrow cobblestone alleyways. The cheery sound of singing and pulsating Cajun accordion music is emanating from one building. We find that the noise is flowing from the former dining room of Babette’s Restaurant, which closed last year. No signs of the upscale, ultra-expensive French eatery remain–Murphy’s Irish Pub, formerly located on the opposite side of the alley, has moved into the site lock, stock, and (beer) barrel.

Babette’s once swanky “red room” (a romantic dining room decorated with velvet, brocade, and white linen, where the well-heeled dined on such delicacies as foie gras with white nectarines) is now a basic wood-paneled area serving no-nonsense pub grub.

The pub itself (also with dining tables) is separated inside by a corridor and outside by a charming facade of a little Irish street with three false front doors, complete with brass knockers and little windows bedecked with lace curtains. The jaunty music and neon signs glowing warmly in the windows lure us inside. There, the Frères Chapeaux, two fun-loving fellas in checkered shirts and felt hats, are gyrating in one corner. They’re belting out Cajun, Creole, and zydeco songs and accompanying themselves with a squeezebox and a fiddle.

They’ve just finished loudly performing something called “C’est la Vie.” Grinning pub-goers are applauding and raising their pints in approval. “Bet Chuck Berry never thought that song could be done by an accordion player,” declares the frère with the squeezebox. “Or by you,” dryly quips the frère with the fiddle.

According to Murphy’s calendar of events, live music is an ongoing fixture at the alehouse four nights a week. Everything from traditional Irish and contemporary Celtic to folk and blues. There are also periodic team Trivia Quiz Nights and Literary Nights, when local actors read and perform selections from famous Irish playwrights like James Joyce and George Bernard Shaw.

There will likely be plenty of St. Paddy’s Day celebrations.

And, yes, families are welcome.

IN THIS COMFORTABLE, informal atmosphere we settle right in, sliding into old wooden bench seats at a particularly antique-looking table with a slightly scarred marble top. The decor consists mainly of family photos on the walls and ledges lined with empty beer bottles.

Of course the beer is the big draw. Murphy’s offers a variety of suds ($4 an imperial pint, $2.50 a glass), including Guinness Stout, Murphy’s Irish Stout, and Harp Lager from Ireland. Additionally, the bartenders pour Bass Ale, Bitburger Pilsner, Fuller’s E.S.B., Gordon Biersch Marzen, Red Tail Ale, Young’s Special London Ale, and Bellhaven Scottish Ale. Hard cider, a small selection of wines, and soft drinks are also available.

But don’t overlook the food. Many of the items are homemade and, though not fancy, make hearty accompaniments. For instance, garlic chips ($4) and popcorn chicken ($4), both served atop greaseproof paper on a plastic tray, make good beer buddies.

The chunky French fries are hot, slightly greasy, and golden-crisp with tender middles and are sprinkled with salty, garlicky flecks. The supergenerous portion of popcorn chicken is enough for four! The deep-fried pieces of chicken breast (served with ranch dressing) are hot and crunchy with an unexpected spicy afterbite.

A housemade soup ($4 a bowl, $2.75 a cup) this night is a wintry white bean and vegetable. Thick and hearty and served with housemade raisin-studded Irish soda bread, it warms and comforts.

We aren’t too impressed by two stew dishes: a vegetable mixture of broccoli, carrots, potatoes, cabbage, celery, and barley ($6.50); and a classic Irish lamb stew with cabbage, carrots and potatoes ($7.50). The veggie version has a very watery sauce. And the Irish stew (although boasting a few tasty tender pieces of lamb) lacks depth of flavor and would be improved with a less glutinous sauce.

The best entrée in our book is the piping-hot shepherd’s pie ($9.50), with its seasoned ground beef and vegetables baked with a delicious topping of smooth mashed potatoes and mild cheese, which is heated under the grill to crisp the potato topping and melt the cheese. Very satisfying, especially with a glass of Kenwood merlot ($5). Most items are served with a choice of side dishes, including mushy peas (to which you might add salt, pepper, and malt vinegar for extra ooomph).

Murphy’s offers one dessert: a sourdough bread pudding ($4). It’s a heavy plateful served with caramel and Jameson whisky sauce.

You’ll likely leave the establishment with a warm glow–not just from a bellyful of carbs, but from an enjoyable casual evening spent in the lively, hospitable environment of an authentic Irish pub.

Murphy’s Irish Pub Address: 464 First St. E., Sonoma; 935-0660 Hours: Sunday-Thursday, 11 a.m. to 11 p.m.; Friday and Saturday, 11 a.m. to 12 midnight Food: Pub grub includes many housemade items Service: Friendly, chatty Ambiance: Casual, frequently with live music; families welcome Price: Inexpensive to moderately inexpensive Wine list: Small selection since most patrons drink beer or cider Overall: 2 stars (out of 4) for the food; 3 stars for the atmosphere

From the February 10-16, 2000 issue of the Sonoma County Independent.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Douglas Coupland

Road rules: Gen X author Douglas Coupland may be tired of talking about his new book, Miss Wyoming, but the critics aren’t–the novel is being hailed by some as a signpost of maturity in Coupland’s unorthodox writing career.

The Ride Stuff

A short, strange trip with Gen X author and tired traveler Douglas Coupland

IT IS A DECIDEDLY low-energy Douglas Coupland who crouches at the curb in front of his San Francisco hotel. Bearing the weight of too many early mornings after too many long nights, he peers into the open doorway of an ultra-sleek black stretch limousine. As he contem-plates the vehicle’s cavernous interior, his face is a sloppy mix of sleep deprivation and mild embarrassment.

“Um, omigod,” he finally proclaims.

Generously arranged for by Coupland’s publisher, the imposing limo has been sent to transport the mild-mannered reluctant icon (author of Generation X, Shampoo Planet, and Microserfs) to the airport, where he’ll catch a flight to Seattle for another full day of interviews. With an audible sigh, Coupland clambers in and takes a seat, making room for me.

“Suddenly this feels really silly,” confesses my host, as the uniformed driver securely shuts the door behind us.

“I feel like we’re on our way to the senior prom or something,” says Coupland, peering through the tinted windows as we sail away from the sidewalk. “I feel like I should have brought you a corsage.”

Coupland, 38, a native of Vancouver, Canada, is currently finishing up a months-long book tour to promote his latest uncategorizable opus, Miss Wyoming (Pantheon Books; $23), the comic-tragic tale of two Hollywood players, one a seasoned producer of direct-to-airlines cinematic schlock and the other an emotionally wounded B-level starlet who was once a child beauty-pageant queen.

Taking advantage of strange twists of fate–he suffers a mystical near-death experience, while she is believed to have disintegrated in an airplane crash–they each drop out of their former lives, disappearing from the world’s cultural radar. The central story is about what happens after they reappear and accidentally merge into each other’s lives.

Short Cuts: An excerpt from ‘Miss Wyoming’ by Douglas Coupland.

Critics are divided over this latest offering, just as they have been since Coupland trampolined into the mainstream with 1991’s phenomenon-sparking, bestselling novel Generation X, the bible of the slacker generation. Yet the new book is widely recognized as the work of an increasingly confident (dare we say mature?) writer of idiosyncratic yet genuinely compelling fiction.

Which brings him to the West Coast, where he’s spent the last few days schlepping from bookstore to bookstore. He was hoping for a little free time to, you know, catch a movie or something, but no such luck for Coupland, who’s been receiving a surprising amount of media attention for a guy some critics wrote off years ago.

At the moment, though, Coupland wouldn’t mind a tiny bit less attention.

“I’m so tired of talking about my book,” he confesses, as our 35-minute ride begins. In demonstration of this point, he feigns snoring. “Promise me you won’t ask me anything about the book.”

“Well,” I think to myself, “although I understand how repetitious such book-hawking interviews can become, I nevertheless am a professional–as are you–and feel that I must ask you a number of precisely planned questions specifically focused on your latest novel.”

But what I say is “OK, I promise not to ask anything about the book.”

Fortunately, Douglas Coupland is the kind of author who has a lot on his mind and needs very little prompting to divulge it. In fact, the man who claims to have become an author only by accident–his book jacket lists his occupation as “designer and sculptor,” a reference to his art-school education and favorite hobby–seems to have something amusing to say on almost every subject.

He talks about movies–“1999 was just the best movie year. In the old days you would go to a movie and know everything that’s going to happen, but nowadays you go to a movie and you never know what’s going on.” And he talks about the mental habits of overly verbal people–“Even as I say these words to you, I’m seeing the words before me, like on a TelePrompter. The only time I don’t see them is when I’m sculpting”–and about the problem of Prince Charles’ face. But more on that later.

“‘Kssssshkk. This is your captain speaking,'” Coupland intones, skillfully rendering an echoey impression of airplane intercom blather. “‘Tonight’s in-flight movie will be . . . ksssshhkk . . . Sister Act 2.'”

Which brings up another of Coupland’s favorite subjects: airline flight.

“For this one-year-and-a-half window, Sister Act 2 was like this spawn from Hell that followed me on every flight I took anywhere in the world,” he complains. “The current spawn from hell is Kevin Costner and Kelly Preston in For Love of the Game. ‘Kssssshkk. Tonight’s in-flight movie will be For Love of the Game with Kevin Costner and Kelly kssssshkk Preston.’ I’ve seen it so many times I know it by heart.”

Coupland’s corner: The author wearily contemplates the next interview.

THERE IS, in fact, just such a reference in Miss Wyoming. When the movie producer character plunges into his near-death experience, the doctor who attempts to resuscitate him gripes about the in-flight omnipresence of the filmmaker’s latest film, The Other Side of Hate, of which the doctor says, “They might as well have shipped the dailies directly up to the Boeing factory.”

“Perhaps,” I wonder, “if I mention this correlation, he’ll accidentally say something about the book.”

I boldly give it a try.

“Mmmmm,” Coupland acknowledges, nodding–then offers an entirely different observation about flying.

“I sat next to Josh Brolin once on an airplane,” he says. “It’s a rule of airline flight: you never get to sit next to Jody Foster or someone cool. It’s always like, ‘Excuse me. Are you Suzanne Pleshette?'”

The airport looms in the distance.

As a last-ditch effort, I ask Coupland to name the best or worst question he’s been asked during the tour.

“Well, there have been a lot of really good ones,” he muses.

“Bingo,” I think, envisioning some penetrating query from one of Coupland’s hyperintelligent fans.

“The best question,” he reveals, “was probably ‘How do you feel about genetically modified food?’ ”

Come again?

“It’s a big deal in Canada,” he grins. Then, following some hairpin tangent that takes my breath away, Coupland is suddenly reminded of . . . Prince Charles.

“See, someday Prince Charles is going to be on our money and our postage stamps, and we’re all really dreading this. As long as he was married to Diana it was ‘Well, at least we might have an attractive person on our money.’ Then they got divorced and we all went, ‘Fuck. Now our money’s going to look like shit for decades.'”

As the limousine arrives at the terminal, gliding up to the white curb, Coupland adds, “The ironic thing is that Charles is this big anti-genetically-modified-foods person.”

And so our journey ends. As the driver unloads Coupland’s luggage, he stands up in the early afternoon sunshine.

“This was fun,” he says, meaning it. “Let’s do this again on my next tour.”

And with a handshake and a final spirited yawn, Douglas Coupland vanishes through the double doors of the terminal. I climb back in the limo for the return trip, thinking, “Well, at least he’s a funny guy. And I did like his book, even though he wouldn’t talk about it. Next tour? It’s a date.”

Next time, though, I want a corsage.

From the February 10-16, 2000 issue of the Sonoma County Independent.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Bruce Cockburn

0

Personal Touch

Folk-rocker Bruce Cockburn’s other side

By Alan Sculley

LIKE MANY ARTISTS whose music sometimes contains a topical thread, Bruce Cockburn has often seen his songs divided into two distinct camps–the ones that are political and the tunes that are personal in nature. To Cockburn, that sort of categorization misses the major point behind his music.

“They’re all the same,” Cockburn says of his songs. “They all come from the same place. I understand the convenience of that distinction between the personal and the political song, but for me there’s no distinction. When I address an issue, for want of a better way to say it, it’s because that issue has touched me in some way and aroused an emotional response that produces a song. The same thing is true of songs about personal growth or spiritual things or sex or stupid things people do.

“The political songs, although some people may not see them this way, to me are not manifestos or anything,” he said. “They’re attempts to share my feelings about something with people. The something may be an issue people have not been aware of before or maybe one that everybody’s out of their minds [about]. But this is how it touched me.”

Having released his 25th CD last year, Breakfast in New Orleans, Dinner inTimbuktu (Ryko), the Toronto-based Cockburn has certainly covered extensive territory within his music in the 30 years since he released his first album.

As he suggests, Cockburn, 54, has written his share of intensely personal songs. Since he’s a Christian, spirituality has been a recurring, if often subtle, theme.

Cockburn, of course, has also written his share of pointedly political material. In fact, one of his biggest hits in the United States, the 1985 song “If I Had a Rocket Launcher,” was triggered by his travels to Guatemala, where he witnessed firsthand the horrors of civil war in that Central American country. He recently performed at the Luther Burbank Center–where he returns next week–with Emmy Lou Harris, Steve Earle, and others at a Landmine-Free World benefit concert, and his 1997 CD Charity of the Night featured a track, “Mines in Mozambique,” about how that country is one of the most heavily mined regions on the globe.

Cockburn has no problem with people who don’t care to tune in when he writes about political or social events. Of course, he will point out that even though the problems of Guatemala or Mozambique may seem far removed from the lives people lead in the United States or Canada, such events have more impact than many people realize.

“People are busy. Not everybody has the energy or the inclination to look very far beyond their immediate concerns,” he says.

“But the fact is that what goes on in every part of the world affects every other part of the world. And while people may not choose to notice it or may be uncomfortable noticing it, a war in Central America has led to the existence of garment sweatshops in Central America, which is taking work away from U.S. garment workers, for instance. It comes home.

“Everything comes home.”

Breakfast in New Orleans, Dinner in Timbuktu is the latest example of Cockburn’s political involvement filtering into his music. Many critics have called it one of the most personal CDs of Cockburn’s career. Possibly the most overtly political tune on Breakfast is “Let the Bad Air Out,” a rather humorous half-sung, half-rapped rant about government corruption.

BUT COCKBURN says the latest CD was flavored by yet another of his fact-finding journeys. In 1998 he was invited to participate in the making of a documentary on the efforts of people in Mali in West Africa to reverse the effects of desertification.

“The issue of desertification is aggravated in Mali because of its proximity to the Sahara,” Cockburn explains, noting that Mali borders that famous desert. “My role in the film is just to kind of be the eyes of the North American, basically, looking at how people live, particularly with respect to the issue of desertification. It’s a problem in a lot of places, but very obviously so in Mali.

“We ended up with a pretty good little film, I think.”

The new CD bears many of the stylistic and sonic trademarks of Cockburn’s work. Though a bit more acoustic and spare than his recent records, new songs such as “Last Night of the World” (a song that got considerable radio play last year) and “The Embers of Eden” find Cockburn striking his familiar understated blend of folk, blues, and rock.

But perhaps the most intriguing moment on Breakfast in New Orleans, Dinner in Timbuktu is Cockburn’s unconventional cover of Fats Domino’s “Blueberry Hill.” Judging by the mixed critical response the song has received, it is also the most controversial song on the CD.

Those used to the strolling original will be startled to hear “Blueberry Hill” turned into a languid version built around chiming guitars and a meditative tempo. This pace allows a real sense of sadness to emerge within what many consider a nostalgic good-time song.

“It’s one of the features of a song that becomes hugely popular and so much a part of the landscape that you tend to forget that it actually says something,” Cockburn notes.

“And that song, the reason it became popular is because it talks about an emotional experience that lots of people have had.”

Bruce Cockburn performs Tuesday, Feb. 15, at 8 p.m. at the Luther Burbank Center, 50 Mark West Springs Road, Santa Rosa. Tickets are $25. 546-3600.

From the February 10-16, 2000 issue of the Sonoma County Independent.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Usual Suspects

Bench Press

Pat Gray candidacy stirs storm of protest

By Janet Wells

THE RACE for Sonoma County Superior Court Judge, Office No. 2, is heating to a roiling boil, with intimations that incumbent Patricia Gray is angling to deep-six, or at least cast doubt on, potentially unfavorable results from a Sonoma County Bar Association survey.

As is standard practice before every judicial election, the Sonoma County Bar Association distributed surveys to 1,348 attorneys just after the holidays, asking for their opinions on candidates’ abilities. By the Jan. 31 deadline, 166 responses had arrived, and local attorneys expected the results to be available this week. On Tuesday, the bar released the results for the five candidates running for a separate Superior Court seat being vacated by retiring Judge Lloyd von der Mehden. But results for the race between Gray and challenger Elliot Daum were conspicuously absent. A statement from the bar offered the provocative explanation that results were being withheld pending the outcome of a bar association board investigation into a complaint concerning the survey.

A handful of local attorneys and Daum supporters held a press conference Tuesday at Courthouse Square in downtown Santa Rosa, equating the bar association’s actions with censorship.

Apparently the bar association board will be looking into a complaint that an action by a bar staff member tainted the results of the survey. In a twist worthy of a Scott Turow plot, Sonoma County Bar Association Director Dan Schurman acknowledges that Gray is the source and that he is the subject of the complaint.

The trouble started because of his support for Daum, Schurman says. “I hosted an event where I invited my friends to come meet him,” he explains. “It wasn’t in my capacity with the Sonoma County Bar Association, but I sent [the invitation] from my Sonoma County Bar e-mail account. Pat Gray is claiming that was improper and voids the survey sent to 1,350 lawyers.”

Schurman says the bar distributed the survey a month before he sent the e-mail invitation to 12 lawyers. “[The invitation] was immediately followed by a second e-mail that this was not related to anything the bar association was doing, and that my support of Elliot does not reflect the Sonoma County Bar Association taking any position. It is a tempest in a teapot. It is absolutely ludicrous,” Schurman adds.

Gray’s complaint will be presented to the bar association board at its Feb. 14 meeting, but it is unclear when–or if–the survey results will be released.

“I trust that the Bar Association will conduct their investigation and report their findings in due course. There is no reason to speculate as to the reasons or the result of the delay,” Gray says in a statement released Tuesday through her campaign manager, David Williams. “To do otherwise is [to] speculate unfairly and cast a shadow on the Bar Association.”

SEVERAL ATTORNEYS, however, are willing to speculate that the survey will reflect a resounding lack of support for Gray. “There are a lot of people out there . . . that don’t feel that she should be a judge [because of] her temperament, her demeanor, her competency,” says Santa Rosa attorney L. Steve Turer.

Santa Rosa attorney Michael Fiumara says he was once a staunch fan of Gray’s. “I really believed in her. [But] she was very unpredictable,” he says, referring to Gray’s behavior during a case he tried in her courtroom. “One minute she was quite nice and cool, the next she was like a raging bull. She was so moody. I was terrified for my clients.”

Meanwhile, Gray’s candidacy has become a divisive issue among local Democratic Party officials and insiders, even though it’s a nonpartisan race. The Democratic Central Committee has endorsed Gray–an active party member–but Democratic Club of Santa Rosa members split on their support of Gray. One party activist reports that some club members recently asked the committee to rescind its endorsement, but were met with threats that the club’s charter might be revoked to penalize Daum supporters.

In Sonoma County’s other, mellower, judicial race, candidates received a rating of “exceptionally well qualified” from the following percentages of the bar survey’s respondents: Gregory Jilka, 37 percent; Cheryl Martinsen, 12 percent; Frank Briceno, 7 percent; James Bertoli, 2 percent; John LemMon, 1 percent.

Greg Cahill contributed to this article.

From the February 10-16, 2000 issue of the Sonoma County Independent.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Mel Graves

0

All This Jazz

Local composer Mel Graves offers world premiere of ‘Spirit Changes’

MEL GRAVES is what some might call “a spiritual guy.” He can talk easily about meditation, Buddhism, or sacred Sufi poetry. He’s built his own spiritual practice, devoting two hours a day to prayer and study, reflecting on the thoughts of teachers ranging from the Dalai Lama to Neale Donald Walsch (Conversations with God). He can quote Pablo Neruda and Lao-tzu and Sri Ramakrishna.

But he’s also a master of the bass guitar who plays and teaches jazz, as well as writing demanding musical compositions for the likes of the Kronos Quartet. It is through jazz, in fact, that Graves’ eclectic skills and interests have found a comfortable home.

“The thing about jazz,” he muses, “is that old idea of, you know, ‘being in the moment.’ Well, to play really good jazz you have to be in the moment, and it takes an incredible amount of concentration to be in the moment–to be able to go anywhere, musically, with whomever you are playing with.

“I try to do my life the same way,” he says, “to really be in the moment, not to be thinking all the time of the past or the future, but just to really be there performing whatever is before me.”

This weekend, Graves will have a very special opportunity to be in the moment, and in the spotlight, when he joins a team of world-class musicians–New York vocalist Thomas Buckner and the award-winning Turtle Island String Quartet–for the world premiere of his newest piece, a remarkable 13-movement composition titled Spirit Changes.

Commissioned by Buckner, for whom Graves has composed twice before, the demanding piece draws on several obscure yet luminous texts, from Sutta Nipata’s Discourse on Good Will (“May all beings be filled with joy and peace; may all beings everywhere . . . be filled with lasting joy”) to Robert Bly’s adaptation of an ancient Zuni prayer (“This is what I want to happen: that our earth mother may be clothed in ground corn four times over; that frost flowers cover her entirely”).

Spirit Changes will be performed three times in February, beginning with the premiere on Saturday, Feb. 5, at SSU’s Evert B. Person Theatre, followed by a Sunday night show at Herbst Theater in San Francisco and, later in the month, a performance at Lincoln Center in New York City. Graves devoted six months to the writing of Spirit Changes, following a solid year spent searching through libraries for the right half-dozen texts.

“I looked at writings covering the last couple thousand years of Hindu, Buddhist, Taoist, Zuni Indian, and Jewish thought,” he says, “looking for texts that would provide a positive message for the millennium.” The time paid off. On the strength of the finished work, Graves was able to build a team of musicians that is nothing short of top-notch.

“I really feel fortunate to have all the people I wanted in the piece,” Graves says, nodding slowly. “Turtle Island was essential, because the piece requires a string quartet that can do all the contemporary classical stuff, but can also improvise over the jazz material. They all solo throughout the piece as well. Turtle Island is one of the very few groups that can do that.”

A player on the jazz scene for over 35 years, Graves, originally from Ohio, has lived in the Bay Area since 1967. He spent some time at the San Francisco Conservatory as a composer and bassist, after which there were occasional moves away–to San Diego, to New York, and then to Italy for a lengthy residence. But Graves kept returning to Northern California. In 1981, he was asked to teach a few jazz courses at Sonoma State University, a gig that turned him into a full-time local. Graves is now a full professor of SSU’s Jazz Department, one of the few places on earth you can take a four-year degree program in jazz studies.

ONE OF HIS FIRST pupils was flute player Bob Ofifi–“My first star student,” says Graves with a grin–who’s made a name for himself as a versatile musician able to swing easily from classical to jazz. Ofifi will be joining Graves and Turtle Island for all three performances, along with drummer George Marsh, pianist Smith Dobson, and Jon Crosse on winds.

As for the sound and style of Graves’ admittedly ambitious composition, Spirit Changes is mainly a “third-stream, world-concept piece,” with a foundation of contemporary classical music that frequently soars off into segments of full-on improvisational jazz, with multilayered passages revealing Afro-Cuban and Brazilian influences, as well as touches of reggae and Indian music.

“In terms of the rhythmic fields of the tunes,” says Graves, “it’s jazz and all the outshoots of the umbrella of jazz.”

Of the 13 movements, six are settings of the poem, six are jazzlike vehicles for the musicians to improvise on, “and the 13th,” explains Graves, “is a real mix of things.” With a gentle chuckle, he says, “I can’t really describe it, but it’s the most avant-garde thing in the piece.”

Graves points out that Spirit Changes is dedicated to his father, Clyde Graves, who died last summer, as his son was completing the piece.

“My father was one of my most important spiritual influences,” notes Graves. “He was a very giving, very generous man. And jazz is a very giving musical form. To play really good jazz with a band, you have to give generously to the other players, you have to be interdependent.

“That’s what I love about it.”

Catch the premiere of Spirit Changes on Saturday, Feb. 5, at 8 p.m. at Sonoma State University’s Person Theatre, 1801 E. Cotati Ave., Rohnert Park. Tickets are $15 for general admission, $8 for students and seniors. For details, call 664-2353.

From the February 3-9, 2000 issue of the Sonoma County Independent.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Alton Kelley, Stanley Mouse Poster Art

0

Poster Kids

Kelley and Mouse psychedelic art takes center stage at Petaluma event

By Greg Cahill

FLASHBACK TO 1967–the waning days of the Summer of Love. America is yet to limp away from its “conflict” in the steamy rice paddies of Southeast Asia. Alabama Gov. Lurleen Wallace tries to foil federal court attempts to accelerate school desegregation. And a young San Francisco Giants captain named Willie Mays reminisces in local newspapers about last year’s pressure-cooker finish and makes predictions for the close of the ’67 baseball season.

Meanwhile, surfer boys and beach bunnies frolicking in the hot summer sun this Labor Day can forget their troubles and flip through the pages of Life magazine, past the exposé on Costa Nostra mob bosses and fashion notes on miniskirts to the cover story about “The Great Poster Wave.”

Splashed across the pages of the Sept. 1 issue is a kaleidoscope of vibrating color, chronicling the latest national hang-up: poster art. Life scorns the phenomenon as “expendable art . . . selling more than 1 million copies a week and gobbled up by avid maniacs who apparently abhor a void.”

The article names five seminal San Francisco poster artists–Alton Kelley, Stanley Mouse, Victor Moscoso, Rick Griffin, and Wes Wilson–as the “phantasmagoria of best-selling avant-garde.”

Two of those artists–Kelley and Mouse, who collaborated on dozens of posters, including works for the Grateful Dead–now reside in Sonoma County.

Their work will speak to rock-poster collectors Feb. 5 at the Petaluma Masonic Hall.

Interest in poster art is running high these days (even first- and second-generation reproductions of psychedelic posters can command hundreds of dollars from collectors). But in the ’60s, West Coast artists seldom earned more than $100 for their designs, whereas New York-based graphic designer Peter Max and a few others reaped a commercial windfall.

In fact, Kelley and Mouse, along with their San Francisco counterparts, didn’t realize any royalties from the innovative concert posters for Winterland, the Avalon Ballroom, and the Fillmore Auditorium that launched the poster craze.

FAST FORWARD TO 1986. Sixties nostalgia is running high. Publication of vintage rock-poster art in San Francisco Rock (Chronicle Books, 1985) by Marin author Jack McDonough led to a lawsuit by ex-Family Dog manager Chet Helms, who claimed that Chronicle Books had violated his copyright on the artwork. That was a revelation to the five poster artists, who believed that they were the legal owners of the rock posters they’d created between 1965 and 1968 to promote concerts by the Family Dog production company.

The artists formed a partnership called Artist Rights Today, suing Helms to recover ownership of their work. The effort proved futile.

“It was like losing the deed to the artistic ranch,” Moscoso, a Yale-trained painter who had settled in west Marin, said at the time.

Kelley and Mouse scored their first big hit with “Zig-Zag Man,” a well-known Family Dog poster plugging a June 1966 Avalon Ballroom concert with Big Brother and the Holding Company, plus the Quicksilver Messenger Service. The poster, which displayed the Zig-Zag trademark logo, helped make the then-fledgling cigarette-rolling-paper company an overnight success and catapulted the artist duo into the spotlight.

In the book The Art of Rock (Abbeville Press, 1986), author Paul Grushkin noted that the duo’s free appropriation of commercial trademarks like Mr. Peanut and the Sunmaid Raisin girl showed “a healthy sense of irreverence toward narrow propriety values.”

During a 1989 interview, Kelley simply smiled at that notion. It was only natural that the poster artists should draw on the “image bank . . . or the graphic flea market” for inspiration” he said. “Those images had been with us all our lives.

“But when Stanley and I did that poster, we got really paranoid. We figured, ‘Oh no. Now they know we smoke dope!’ And we took what little pot we had and flushed it down the toilet. But we wanted to create something that was visual and would make people stop in the streets and read and figure it out.

“It worked like a charm.”

NO ONE KNEW then that Kelley and Mouse would have an impact on the art world that continues to this day. “In the early days, it was real good,” Kelley recalled, describing the San Francisco underground in 1965 shortly after he arrived from Connecticut. Back then, he was just a wayward helicopter mechanic, motorcycle racer, and hot rod-era cartoonist with a knack for drawing monsters and winged eyeballs.

Mouse, a Detroit native, had a lucrative T-shirt painting business centered around the hot-rod and custom-car industry before moving to San Francisco, where he met Kelley.

The scene was “superhip,” Kelley mused. “But there was no such thing as the word hippie. I mean, it was a brand-new thing.”

In the spring of 1965, Kelley moved from the Family Dog’s Haight Street commune to Virginia City, Nev., to help build the notorious Red Dog Saloon. The now-defunct dancehall was the summer lair of the Charlatans, a San Francisco folk-rock band (Dan Hicks and Boz Scaggs were among its members) with a taste for turn-of-the-century gambler chic and potent hallucinogens–and a penchant for packing sidearms onstage.

It became a popular watering hole for Bay Area bohemians and Sierra residents keen on its Wild West flair and psychedelic atmosphere.

“What I remember most about the Red Dog was all the guns,” said band member and poster artist Michael Ferguson in an interview for The Art of Rock. “That’s the only thing we spent our money on–bullets. One of my favorite things was going down to the dump and spending an hour setting up cans and bottles, then finding an old chair, sitting down, and plunking away.

“It was a real loose Western scene.”

It also became the birthplace of the rock poster and helped inspire the freewheeling San Francisco concert scene that nurtured poster art.

That artwork, in turn, helped foster the street life that served as a focal point of ’60s counterculture. “You could not separate [the artist’s] role from that of the musician. . . . It just seemed like part of the puzzle,” Grushkin wrote in The Art of Rock. “When you take all these people as a group, they represent a revolution that was so palpable and so obvious that you couldn’t walk down the streets of San Francisco or be a kid on the East Coast and not hear the reverberations.”

Alton Kelley and Stanley Mouse will make an appearance Saturday, Feb. 5, from 1 to 5 p.m. at an event sponsored by the Rock Poster Society at the Petaluma Masonic Hall, 9 Western Ave., Petaluma. Admission is $5/members, $10/general public. Their work also is featured through this month at an exhibit of poster art at the San Francisco Museum of Modern Art, 151 Third St., San Francisco. 415/357-4000.

From the February 3-9, 2000 issue of the Sonoma County Independent.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

1999 Wines

0

The jury is still out on local ’99 bottlings

By Bob Johnson

MICHAEL J. FOX may be pulling the plug on his hit ABC sitcom Spin City, but the spirit of that irreverent series lives on in the hearts and minds of grape growers, and winemakers throughout the Golden State are putting the best spin on the results of last year’s unusually cool growing season.

As the 1999 harvest finally drew to a close, several weeks later than usual, one veteran North Coast vintner showed absolutely no sign of concern.

“Even though the crop was late, the quality was good,” he says. “Besides, regardless of the quality, we’re pretty much guaranteed of two straight outstanding vintages.”

It may sound as if the vintner was talking in circles, but he actually was making perfect sense–from a marketing perspective. You see, he figures bottles dated 1999 or 2000 will be big sellers based on their collectibility–last vintage of one millennium, first of another–even if the wine inside is below par.

Fortunately for those more concerned with the wine than the packaging, it appears the ’99 harvest will yield many wines of very good, if not outstanding, quality.

“The effects of La Niña created a long, cool growing season that produced normal to lighter yields per acre,” says John De Luca, president and CEO of the Wine Institute in Rohnert Park. “The longer hang time for the grapes concentrated the fruit flavors and deepened the colors–quality markers for an exceptional vintage.”

“Exceptional” may prove to be a bit of an exaggeration, since the expanding vineyard acreage up and down the state and the lateness of the harvest conspired to stack up picking crews.

Those who were able to harvest when their grapes’ sugar levels were optimum should be in good shape. Those who anticipated a labor shortage and hedged their bets by picking early, as well as those who lacked picking crews at the “right time” and thus were forced to harvest late, could see quality compromised.

“The cool ’99 growing season had all the makings of a great vintage like ’91,” he says. “The issue in this vintage was September’s lengthy coolness and the accompanying drizzle and overcast that never broke up all day long.”

Usually winemakers can count on a warm or even hot September to ripen grapes growing almost anywhere in Sonoma County.

“Finally, an October heat spike skyrocketed grape sugars in some vineyards to 27 or 28 degrees brix,” Bursick adds. “Wine growers who could pick in that optimal window between September drizzle and October heat blast will be tremendously pleased with the results.”

Cecil De Loach, president and winemaster of De Loach Vineyards in Santa Rosa, echoes Bursick’s assessment.

“Although we were concerned at the end of summer by the cool weather, the warm October temperatures were perfect,” De Loach says. “We got fantastic flavors and good yields as expected and within normal parameters.”

Yields were not uniformly “normal” across the county, however.

“Yields were almost normal for most varietals,” says Rick Sayre, vice president of winemaking for Rodney Strong Vineyards in Windsor. “However, cabernet sauvignon, sauvignon blanc, and zinfandel are down by about 20 percent.”

Sayre adds that grape quality, “in general, is very good.”

“I have high expectations for our wines,” says Bursick, “and other winemakers are making superlative comments, about this vintage, that I haven’t heard in years. Concentration, flavor, and color all seem to be outstanding.”

Nick Goldschmidt, winemaker at Simi Winery in Healdsburg, says that the extended hang time “delivered excellent tannin development. I’m seeing the softest tannins since 1992.

“The ’99 wines should be very elegant.”

Anne Moller-Racke, vineyard director for Buena Vista Winery in Sonoma, was equally upbeat. “The potential is high for spectacular cabernet sauvignon,” she says, “especially from Carneros.”

Other vintners from other regions of the state offered similarly hopeful reports, although few had experienced a harvest that both was so late and dragged on for so long.

Daniel Gehrs, a veteran Central Coast vintner, says more fruit in that region was harvested in November than in September and October combined. “I’ve never seen that happen before,” he adds.

What does that mean for wine quality?

“We’ll see,” he replies.

Artful spinning side, California’s 1999 vintage figures to be a mixed bag, producing wines that span the quality spectrum from slightly below average to outstanding–depending primarily on the sugar levels at which the grapes were picked. Quality is expected to be highly variable from region to region and varietal to varietal.

So when 1999 white wines begin to hit merchants’ shelves later this year, a good policy for consumers may be to purchase the ones they like in quantity. *

From the February 3-9, 2000 issue of the Sonoma County Independent.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Kilimanjaro

0

Rocky Road

Kilimanjaro or bust: glimpsing the dawn of the new millennium at 19,466 feet–and on a low budget

By Janet Wells

IT’S MIDNIGHT IN Tanzania, and the equatorial sunshine has long since given way to an inky chill at 10,000 feet on the barren slopes of Mt. Kilimanjaro. Our group of 36 trekkers–newly arrived from the States–is huddled together, shivering and exhausted from miles of unanticipated nighttime hiking. Those with enough energy hike back down the hill to look for several dozen porters and guides, who apparently have gone AWOL with most of our clothing, food, and gear. Our head guide has disappeared without a word of explanation.

Several people have a punishing virus and keep disappearing into the damp, scrubby brush. I’m sitting in a ditch, so cold I am beyond shivering. Like everyone else, I’ve eaten nothing more than an energy bar since lunch, and the clothing I put on in the heat of the day offers little protection against the plummeting temperatures. Someone drags me over to a tent and zips me into a down sleeping bag.

Once thawed, I get up to rotate the toasty cocoon to the next icy comrade, and find my husband, Mark, who has just returned empty-handed from the trail below. It’s after 2 a.m., and there are no porters in sight.

Half of us make do for the first night of our millennium Kilimanjaro trek with handouts: people with tents give up sleeping bags, and others open their duffels to dole out clothing. I wear a borrowed jacket and pants, and sleep on the ground with my husband, sharing a down bag covered by a red plastic tarp.

I am torn between anxiety and fatigue, but figure the worst is over. Our porters will arrive with the morning sun, fire up the missing kerosene stove to whip together a deluxe breakfast, and our grand African adventure will blossom. A few fitful hours later dawn breaks, and it begins to rain. By noon, the porters still have not arrived.

Welcome to holiday in Hell.

CLIMBING MT. KILIMANJARO for Y2K seemed like a splendid idea when my friend Matthias Schabel started tempting us with glowing travelogues about it last summer. A Santa Rosa physicist who lived in Tanzania as a teenager, Schabel invited a cadre of friends to join him on a three-week trekking and safari trip.

One of the world’s coveted seven summits, Mt. Kilimanjaro is the highest peak in Africa–a kind of everyman’s Everest. An active volcano until about 350,000 years ago, Kilimanjaro hardly is a candidate for beauty awards. The truncated cinder cone looks like a massive bread loaf. But at 19,466 feet the peak has high-altitude cachet without requiring technical feats.

In terms of hiking, Mt. Kilimanjaro is nothing to sneeze at–fewer than 10 percent reach the top, and an average of 10 people die every year on the peak, usually from altitude-related problems. By mountaineering standards, however, Kilimanjaro is an enticing cakewalk, with sweeping vistas and the lure of the odd eland on the high plateaus. Except for the summit push, Mt. St. Helena boasts steeper slopes.

Twenty of Schabel’s friends sign on for the trip, a crew of six from Sonoma County joining him: Windsor physicist Carl Mears and his wife, Dr. Panna Lossy; Agilent Technologies engineer Alan Kashiwagi; Scott Sisemore, who has just quit his job at Mark West Winery; and my husband, engineer Mark Ripperda, and I.

All of us have sizable garage space devoted to outdoor pursuits. But this time we’re paying for the luxury of having someone else provide the equipment, do the cooking, set up the tents, and carry our gear. We don’t even have to feel like spoiled colonials, since Tanzania requires all Kilimanjaro trekkers to hire porters and guides.

Matthias signs on to a seven-day budget trip with Tanzanian trek organizer Jasper Lemnge, and we each pony up $650, plus another $800 each for trekking permits. It seems exorbitant, but millennium fever has added a $400 premium to the permit fee, and we pay it for the privilege of ringing in the New Year on the roof of Africa.

Ninety percent of Kili’s 12,000-odd trekkers each year opt for the easiest trail, the “Coca-Cola” route, which boasts sleeping huts with dining areas, plus emergency radio communication. Our group disdains the tourist approach, climbing instead via the Shira Plateau, a more remote route featuring a challenging scramble up the 3,000-foot Breach Wall on summit day. There are no structures on the route except for leaky metal sheds the porters and guides use as kitchens, and the filthy pit latrines.

AFTER TWO DAYS of traveling via Paris and Nairobi, we have a rest day at Jasper’s guest lodge, then meet up with the rest of our group: 14 college students squired by Matthias’ father, Hans, a forestry professor from the University of Wisconsin.

Our crew, along with 20 porters and a mound of duffel bags, tents, food, and cooking supplies, looks more like a military operation than a vacation tour. The morning of Dec. 27, we climb into three enormous open-air four-wheel-drive trucks and embark on a monotonous seven-hour dust-and-diesel-choked journey.

Along the sun-baked road, Masai villagers with their traditional shoulder-slung red blankets herd cattle and goats among the thorny acacia trees. As we move up in elevation, the hardscrabble fields slowly give way to villages tucked among the lush flora and crops of bananas, beans, maize, and coffee that thrive in Tanzania’s highland tropics.

Our trek starts in the late afternoon at the Londorossi Gate of Kilimanjaro National Park, where Jasper hires another 35 porters and waves us off with the assurance that the trucks and porters will soon overtake us and ferry us to camp an hour or two up the road. Jasper plans to return to his lodge, and leaves us in the hands of our stoic head guide, Felix.

Easy strolling through a lush landscape where colobus monkeys swing through the trees turns into a six-hour slog in a moonless night. Twelve miles later we reach our ill-fated first campsite.

We discover the next morning that the semi-sized four wheeler loaded with gear and most of our porters was mired in mud back at the park headquarters. Rather than abandon the truck, Jasper opted to strand our group, along with a few exhausted, ill-equipped porters, for a cold, wet night. Felix, we discover, spent the night in the ranger’s tent.

Just after noon, porters begin to trickle in, and camp begins to take shape. The dilapidated, musty two-person canvas tents provided by Jasper look army surplus circa 1950. Some of our food and fuel apparently are missing.

Our personal duffels, fortunately, are all intact.

Lunch is served at 4 p.m. While some treks have a mess tent, complete with tables, chairs, and white linen humped up the mountain by porters, I hardly expect such luxury given our modest price tag. Our table is a red vinyl tarp on the ground, set with flowered plastic plates. After more than 24 hours without food, we are served peanuts, popcorn, and hot water for tea or instant coffee.

I scoop up as much as my fists can hold, and we gather into a small group to grumble. Panna and Carl talk about bailing, worried that the obvious lack of organization is going to mean trouble higher up. Dinner, however, brings a brighter outlook: pasta with tomato bolognese sauce, sautéed vegetables, French fries, and bread.

Getting the hang of it: During the ascent, the writer follows her bliss while dangling from a rock overhang at the mouth of a small cave on the Shira Plateau.

THE NEXT MORNING dawns clear, and I join several people on a rocky promontory snapping sunrise photos. It’s a glorious view, with Mt. Meru rising in the distance, the Shira Plateau stretching before us, and Kilimanjaro dominating the eastern horizon.

After breakfast the clouds start to roll in. Having learned from the first night’s fiasco, I stuff my daypack full of clothing. The four-hour hike to the Shira camp is wet, but not unpleasant, since we all sport layers of Gore-Tex and fleece. The porters, however, straggle uphill wearing ragged cotton clothing and a motley collection of footwear, ranging from flip-flops to torn loafers. These guys carry loads of 40 to 50 pounds, and at $6 a day are the world’s most underpaid athletes. Their wiry frames are dwarfed by enormous duffels, sacks of food, and barrels of water. I try the porter method of balancing a load on my head and manage about 50 feet before my neck gives out.

Shira camp is on a treeless, boulder-strewn plateau at about 12,000 feet. In the middle of the night, I brave the icy wind and am rewarded with a sky of diamond stars.

The next morning, we have our first case of attrition. Kristen Hughes, a venture capitalist from Palo Alto, is suffering from a bronchial infection and must forego the climb. The 24-hour flu virus continues to make the rounds, and Panna, the doctor who came prepared for vacation rather than triage, is now saddled with her own makeshift clinic.

On the way to the Lava Tower camp, most of us pass our previous high point–California’s Mt. Whitney, which at 14,494 feet is the tallest mountain in the continental United States. We’re now at 14,800 feet, pitched on a sloping muddy shoulder. The rain lets up briefly, and several of us head for a nearby stream to pump water through filters brought from home. The stream is directly downhill from the camp’s fetid privy, and we decide to throw some iodine tablets in as well. Matthias reminds the cooks to boil water for 20 minutes, but is not optimistic that they will comply, given the high altitude and low fuel supplies.

It starts to sleet as we eat dinner. Several of the porters are huddled in thin blankets under an enormous dripping boulder. The tents are apparently too heavy to bring more than what is needed for the clients. With some rearranging, we free up a tent, and five grateful porters pile in.

An evening storm leaves the camp coated in crusty ice.

A clear dawn reveals our magnificent panoramic perch: the 200-foot-high Lava Tower looming over camp is merely a chip compared to the massive crater wall and hanging glaciers above us. Far below, Kilimanjaro’s jungled base ridges stretch like fingers for miles into the plains.

Mt. Meru floats on a bed of clouds in the distance.

Unfortunately, not everyone is enjoying the view. Carl has acute nausea and Alan can feel his lungs rattling when he breathes–both warning signs of high-altitude sickness. The only treatment is to get to lower altitude, and they decide to head down to meet Kristen.

I look around and try to guess who will make it to the summit and who won’t, but give up. Carl sports bearlike strength and spent a summer backpacking 1,500 miles of the Pacific Crest Trail; Alan’s a natural athlete who has been above 17,000 feet in the Himalaya.

Several of the students, however, look ragged and ill, but keep going up.

I feel fine, and credit luck and my twice-daily doses of Diamox, an altitude sickness drug that enables users to breathe faster and take in more oxygen. In the rarefied air atop Kilimanjaro, there is only half the oxygen found at sea level, and by the time we leave Lava Tower, everyone in the group is popping the pills as a preventive measure. The only drawback is the diuretic effect, which sentences users to multiple middle-of-the night pee forays.

THE HIKE to Arrow Glacier–base camp for the summit–is short but steep. We gain 1,200 feet in a little over an hour, as a heavy mist swirls around us. The 16,000-foot-high trash-strewn rocky plateau is a sea of bright colors and activity.

It’s Dec. 31, and a dozen groups are here, poised for the summit attempt tonight.

We obviously represent the low-rent crowd: A group of Brits, who have deluxe dining tents and are given bowls of warm washing water each morning, complain about their food, but it’s hard to be sympathetic after hearing about their afternoon tea and scones, and noting that their enormous garbage pile contains avocado and papaya rinds. Our culinary offerings today have included the by-now ubiquitous hard-boiled eggs, white bread, and instant soup.

The original plan for today was to go all the way to the summit crater at 19,000 feet to camp, then hike up Uhuru Peak to the true summit at midnight. Without a word of discussion, however, we all understand what a ridiculous idea it is. It takes enough energy just to climb 100 feet to take a photo. In the distance is the somber sight of a porter making his way down the rocky Breach Wall trail with a seriously sick trekker on his back.

Mark is lying in the tent, pale and tired. A cold has progressed to a lung rattle, and he’s coughing up bubbly stuff–both signs of pulmonary edema. I am quite alarmed. I know that high-altitude sickness can creep up on a person and, without warning, be fatal. We were told the guides would keep an eye on us and send any sick trekkers to lower elevation. But if our guides have any first-aid training, they’re keeping it secret.

Mark says he feels fine when he stays quiet, and decides to spend the night, then head to a lower camp in the morning. Four other people in our party will do the same.

At least 150 trekkers and several dozen guides will leave Arrow Glacier at midnight. After a measly dinner, I join Mark in the tent and doze. At 11:15 p.m. Matthias rouses everyone for tea and cookies.

I am trussed up in yuppie mountaineering style, and still the cold is palpable. My gear–long underwear, fleece pants, fleece jacket, Gore-Tex bib pants, down jacket, Gore-Tex shell, liner gloves, Gore-Tex outer mitts, fleece neck gaiter, fleece hat, heavy boots, day pack, headlamp, camera–is worth more than the average Tanzanian makes in a year. But all the technical trappings do nothing when nature calls and I have to drop my drawers to pee in the icy wind.

I kiss Mark goodbye, disappointed that I won’t be aiming for the summit with him, and he cautions me to be careful. At the stroke of midnight, everyone yells a hearty “Happy New Year,” a few words of French, German, and Swahili mixing with the British and American accents. A long line of headlamps snakes toward the notch at the top of the Breach Wall. Finding the trail is like a “Where’s Waldo?” amid thousands of vertical feet of loose shale and rock.

Matthias is hot to be on the summit at sunrise and, prodding Felix to go faster, sets a killer pace for 11 of us who are in the lead. After 30 minutes, I start to fall back with several others. I’m breathing too hard and figure that, at this rate, I’ll either pass out or arrive at the summit two frigid hours before the sun rises.

It’s cold, windy, and moonless, and my water-bag hose quickly freezes. Panna has a water bottle, but the process of transferring liquid from my bag is arduous, requiring intense concentration. At 17,000 feet my headlamp batteries succumb to the cold and begin to dim. I will have to change batteries three times to maintain the small circle of light at my feet. I try to eat an energy bar around 3 a.m., but the chalky chocolate sticks in my throat.

We reach the crater just before 5 a.m., Panna and I slapping high-fives as we go through the notch and step onto the 19,000-foot-high caldera. The wind is whipping to subzero temperatures, and I wonder if my nose will get frostbitten.

A sheer 100-foot-high glacier wall bisects the flat, ash-covered terrain. Horizontal ribbons of silvery ice loom above us, reflecting the starry twinkle of the clear night. More than 20 tents occupy the crater, and I wonder who is hardy–or idiotic–enough to brave a night on Africa’s arctic plain.

The summit is only 400 vertical feet away, on top of Uhuru Peak, a snow-covered protuberance that rises out of the crater. The peak looks short and sweet, but it’s a taxing slog. About halfway up I am hit with waves of nausea and can manage only four or five steps before I have to rest, leaning on my trekking poles for support. Bands of yellow and orange light stretch below me across the horizon, and the snow sparkles in the dawning light. I turn off my headlamp. More than an hour later, I am the last of 12 of Matthias’ group to arrive at the summit plateau.

“Problem? Pack too heavy?” asks Christian, a 19-year-old guide who has summited Kilimanjaro 15 times this year. I shake my head, and he smiles, pointing to a crowd of people up a small rise. “Five minutes,” he says, and it takes just about that long to shuffle the final few steps to the summit, where I am engulfed by group hugs.

THE RISING SUN CASTS a soft pink glow on glaciers that straddle the summit, shimmering icy and ethereal. Clouds and haze obscure the lush valleys far below, creating the impression that we’re floating.

The summit scene is like some kind of mountaineer’s rave. While the guides smoke cigarettes and nap, a hundred trekkers dressed in brightly hued parkas mill about taking photos and hugging. One trekker offers hits off an oxygen bottle. Panna and Scott toss a Frisbee. Tammy McMinn, a San Francisco computer consultant, pops open a bottle of $40 French champagne she lugged to the top. I take a swig, and it all goes up my nose.

I feel tipsy and hungover at the same time. It’s a thrill to be at the summit, but my head aches, and the nausea is getting worse. The temperature hovers just above zero, and by 7 a.m. I’m ready to head down.

On the way down Uhuru Peak, I see a trekker swathed in layers of colorful shirts, his dungarees fashionably baggy. A kaleidoscope-colored knit hat perches atop his waist-length dreadlocks. He’s black, but obviously not African. In my high-altitude daze, I stare. He dazzles me with a warm smile and good wishes for the new year.

Turns out the guy is from Sebastopol and apparently is on some kind of personal quest. People climb Kilimanjaro for many reasons, for spiritual fulfillment, to scatter the ashes of a loved one, for challenge and adventure.

I am envious of the obvious bliss shining from his face.

I think of Mark wheezing in the tent far below and wonder what I am seeking in the thin air.

Once we start down the Breach Wall, the descent turns into a 3000-foot booby trap. Five painstaking hours later, Panna, Tammy, and I are among the last to arrive back at base camp. I look at the tents just across Arrow Glacier, and I breathe a sigh of relief that everyone made it back safely.

I soon learn otherwise.

One of the porters hands me a cup of orange Tang, and a few minutes later Matthias’ father tells me that one of our group was hit by rock fall. I follow Panna behind the tents. Louis Rivara, a Central Valley vineyard owner, is lying on a sleeping pad. Blood is spurting from near his right temple into a bowl held by Matthias. Panna uses water boiled for our tea to wash the wound. I search for gauze pads. Tammy is holding his hand. Louis is moaning and writhing in pain, but clearly is conscious–a good sign.

Louis tells us that he was hit by a melon-sized rock just before he and his trekking buddy were nearing the top of the Breach Wall at sunrise. The force knocked him unconscious, and he came to as he slid several feet down the slope. Louis’ wool-knit cap is soaked with blood, streaks of red running down his face and onto his jacket. He has been waiting several hours for Panna to return from the summit.

Panna peels the hat off, and the jagged two-inch gash does not make her happy. Our trek organizer has provided no medical kit, and we have only basic first-aid supplies.

“This needs stitches,” she says, applying thin strips to close the wound. “You’re going to have a nasty scar.”

Panna wraps gauze around the wound and an Ace bandage to hold everything in place, then lays out the possibility–though remote–that the rock could have hit hard enough to cause swelling under the skull.

If left untreated, such a condition can be fatal.

We discuss ways of evacuating Louis. Other than a rudimentary stretcher two days back at the Shira camp, there is no rescue equipment or radio communication available on our route. Louis says he feels up to walking to the next camp, and there isn’t much other choice.

Lunch is ready, and I figure that after 12 hours of hiking to the summit and back, the watery fish broth is merely an appetizer. Wrong.

The few pieces of bread are snatched up before I get to the tarp, and when I ask for more, the porters tell me there is no more fuel or food.

WE PACK UP and start heading to Barranco camp 2,000 feet down the mountain, where I will reunite with Mark and the others in our group. The three-hour hike goes by in a blur of aching knees. Mark gives me a congratulatory hug. He says he’s feeling better, although his lungs are still rattling. I nap for an hour, then get up, hoping for an early dinner.

Everyone is gathered into small groups, obsessed by food fantasies. Matthias is going on about spinach and mushroom pizza. Someone else is waxing poetic about burritos, chips, and salsa. When dinner comes several hours later, the disappointment is palpable.

The soup is eerily reminiscent of dishwater, and the meager pieces of chicken are inedible.

OUR FINAL DAY of trekking is an eight-hour, 7,000-foot descent through the mud-slicked jungle. Louis is quite peppy–even though he was roused by his tent mate every 30 minutes during the night to check his level of consciousness. A rakish red kerchief covers his fresh bandage. We have all been revived by French toast for breakfast–miraculously there is enough for seconds.

News has traveled via the porter grapevine that two people died from altitude-related problems the day before. An American woman collapsed near the summit, and a German man died in his sleep at 14,000 feet. Another 33 reportedly were evacuated from the Coca-Cola route.

We arrive at the Umbwe route trailhead in the late afternoon and sip warm sodas as the porters mill around waiting for their hard-earned tips. I take off my boots and indulge in bare feet for the first time in a week.

That night, back at the Ashanti Lodge, Mark and Panna confront Jasper.

“Trucks got stuck, nothing I could do,” he responds to criticism about stranding us the first night.

We don’t want to punish the porters by stinting on tips, but Matthias makes sure that Jasper gets none of the cash we dole out.

The next day we leave Kilimanjaro behind, embarking on the safari leg of our vacation. Just as we settle into a life of Land Rovers, roaring lions, and long-lashed giraffes, the trek comes back to haunt us.

“Rocket-nozzle” diarrhea, as one person calls it, disables most of our group. Mark has the giardia parasite, Carl has some kind of tenacious bacteria, Alan’s got the trots, and Panna’s got it coming out both ends.

Scott and Matthias–who got food poisoning from drinking homemade banana beer before the trek–have escaped the consequences of Kilimanjaro’s Russian-roulette water, as have I.

But my luck doesn’t last: On the American Airlines flight from Paris, I wolf down a chicken lunch and spend the next three hours hunkered at the back of the plane by the bathroom, yorking furiously.

I have lots of time to indulge in a grumpy reverie about Kilimanjaro. The bad food. The surly head guide. Mark denied the summit. No rescue services. The incompetent organizer. The lousy weather. The snotty Brits.

I’m surprised when a silver lining starts to emerge: Christian, the patient, smiling guide. The perfect spiraled symmetry of a red-tipped lobelia plant. Bonding with 20 people, and the endless lifelong jokes this trip will provide. Lava Tower’s scarlet rock gleaming against the crisp blue dawn. Wispy tendrils of mist floating across Kilimanjaro’s massive flanks.

This is what the Sebastopol rasta-man was smiling about, I decide. Life doesn’t just happen at the summit, after all. Bliss is there, hidden all along the trail.

From the February 3-9, 2000 issue of the Sonoma County Independent.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Sex Tips

Operating instructions for the sexually challenged AS ANYONE who pays attention to the news--and to politics in particular--must surely be aware, there are certain nefarious forces afoot these days that claim, quite loudly and vociferously, that the institution of marriage, if not exactly being faced with imminent extinction, is surely being...

‘Amadeus,’ ‘La Cage aux Folles’

Amadeus. Music Makers Two theatrical productions strike high notes By Daedalus Howell CURSE the ephemeral nature of live theater! Though it will be gone from the stage in just a few weeks, Sonoma County Repertory's production of playwright Peter Shaffer's Amadeus should be bottled and shared with the generations. ...

Murphy’s Irish Pub

Seasonal spirits: Larry Murphy keeps the ale--and the good times--flowing at Murphy's Irish Pub in Sonoma. Suds 'n' Grub Murphy's Irish Pub: a casual hangout with lots of lively atmosphere By Paula Harris IT'S A DRIZZLY DARK night in downtown Sonoma. For once, the historic plaza is...

Douglas Coupland

Road rules: Gen X author Douglas Coupland may be tired of talking about his new book, Miss Wyoming, but the critics aren't--the novel is being hailed by some as a signpost of maturity in Coupland's unorthodox writing career. The Ride Stuff A short, strange trip with Gen X author and...

Bruce Cockburn

Personal Touch Folk-rocker Bruce Cockburn's other side By Alan Sculley LIKE MANY ARTISTS whose music sometimes contains a topical thread, Bruce Cockburn has often seen his songs divided into two distinct camps--the ones that are political and the tunes that are personal in nature. To Cockburn, that sort of categorization misses...

Usual Suspects

Bench Press Pat Gray candidacy stirs storm of protest By Janet Wells THE RACE for Sonoma County Superior Court Judge, Office No. 2, is heating to a roiling boil, with intimations that incumbent Patricia Gray is angling to deep-six, or at least cast doubt on, potentially unfavorable results from a Sonoma...

Mel Graves

All This Jazz Local composer Mel Graves offers world premiere of 'Spirit Changes' MEL GRAVES is what some might call "a spiritual guy." He can talk easily about meditation, Buddhism, or sacred Sufi poetry. He's built his own spiritual practice, devoting two hours a day to prayer and study, reflecting...

Alton Kelley, Stanley Mouse Poster Art

Poster Kids Kelley and Mouse psychedelic art takes center stage at Petaluma event By Greg Cahill FLASHBACK TO 1967--the waning days of the Summer of Love. America is yet to limp away from its "conflict" in the steamy rice paddies of Southeast Asia. Alabama Gov. Lurleen Wallace tries to foil...

1999 Wines

The jury is still out on local '99 bottlings By Bob Johnson MICHAEL J. FOX may be pulling the plug on his hit ABC sitcom Spin City, but the spirit of that irreverent series lives on in the hearts and minds of grape growers, and winemakers throughout the Golden State are putting the...

Kilimanjaro

Rocky Road Kilimanjaro or bust: glimpsing the dawn of the new millennium at 19,466 feet--and on a low budget By Janet Wells IT'S MIDNIGHT IN Tanzania, and the equatorial sunshine has long since given way to an inky chill at 10,000 feet on the barren slopes of Mt. Kilimanjaro. Our...
11,084FansLike
4,606FollowersFollow
6,928FollowersFollow