Ask Sydney

May 30-June 5, 2007

Dear Sydney, I own a business with someone who is also a friend. I love my business and I also love my friend, but I don’t love my friend in business. I have high standards for how I like to communicate with people that I do business with and how I present myself in general. I believe my partner shares these values, but the way he presents at times is very upsetting to me. I just think things are smoothing out and then he will say or do something that stirs the whole thing up again. We have fought many times about these issues, and at this point I feel hesitant to bring anything up that could set us off. I don’t want to lose my business over this–we have been working on it for over four years–but working with him is still the most stressful part of what I do. I don’t know what to do with the fact that I wish he were just my friend and not my business partner. How do I survive without being in a constant state of stress?–Stressed Out

Dear Stress: Keep in mind that working with people, be it business partners, co-workers or your own employees, can be stressful and unpleasant at times. Like having roommates, working with others is a struggle to maintain good relationships, to communicate, to not be too demanding or needy and to be mutually respectful. And, as with roommates, sometimes things go smoothly, and sometimes things can crumble quickly. The only way to completely avoid these negative dynamics is to work alone. No working relationship will ever be flawless. Unless you both keep yourselves medicated to a point of complete emotional neutrality, you’re bound do disagree and bash heads occasionally.

Try to remember why you started working together in the first place. What skills does your friend have that are a benefit to your business? Think of it this way: If you were co-parenting a child, do you think you would always agree on everything? Always get along? Always feel the other person is trying his or her best? Of course not. In fact, sometimes you might feel like you could do it better on your own. You are co-parenting your business and have to deal with all of the ups and downs that go with this sort of arrangement. Try and keep your friendship separate from this as much as possible. Take the time to do “just friends” stuff together. Have fun outside the business, and that way, when you’re parenting the business together, you will be better able to remember what you like about each other.

Dear Sydney, I have noticed recently an increase in friends asking me to remind them of something they have agreed to do. The request can be as simple as carpooling to an event that we like to do, ’cause it saves gas and we like each others’ company. When they agree to drive, I’m asked to remind them to pick me up before they leave their house. Two other times, when requesting a reference for a position I’m applying for, the response has been “I’d be happy to write a reference, but I’m really, really busy; would you call me in a week and remind me to do it?” If someone asks me to do a favor for them, I’ve always felt part of agreeing to do it is remembering when to do it. Is this out of fashion?–Out of Fashion

Dear Fashionless: I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve had people tell me how tired they are, how overworked, how it has become necessary to pick and choose friends and activities because there just isn’t enough time to take care of them all. School is harder. Work is harder. Getting by is harder. And all of these exquisite gadgets that advertisers once presented as the greatest time savers of our lives (“By the 21st century, no one will have to work, because machines will do everything for us”) are speeding things up to such an extent that it has become almost impossible to catch up.

So, yes, you are out of fashion. Many are working beyond what is healthy and wise, and the mind can only keep up with so many obligations, so many arrangements and so many times. Give a call. Give a reminder. This is just one small way we can help each other. My mother, for instance, continues to call and remind me when it’s a family member’s birthday. Then I remember to call, and everyone feels happier. The more we help each other remember, the better off we will all be.

Dear Sydney, I was at my friend’s house and another good friend of mine, who doesn’t have a lot of money, left his side door open and smashed into the side of my new car. A bad move on his part, as I was not parked badly. The damage my friend did will cost about $600. He doesn’t have much money, but offered to barter me something worth $600, because he can’t afford to have his insurance premium go up. He seems willing to do this, but I feel conflicted because I know he has money troubles and even the barter will set him way back. He’s a starving artist, does much for the community, etc. Should I forget about the door and leave it dinged up or take the barter? The damage is cosmetic, but the value of my car has been reduced and I don’t have the money to fix it.–Conflicted

Dear Conflicted: The age-old “my friend did it” conundrum. Of course you want to spare your friend from having to come up with money he doesn’t have. It was an accident, and your car is just a car, a hunk of metal. How much does the perfection of your car mean to you? And how badly will your friend be set back by having to give you something that, I am presuming, you feel as if you could easily sell for 600 bucks in order to get your door fixed? If the door is that important to you, then take the barter. And good for you for being willing to barter in the first place; that alone takes a big heart. He dinged your door, and you are entitled to getting it fixed. However, if you think you can live with the ding, then refuse the barter and think of a way he could repay you that wouldn’t cost anything. Can he cook? Cars are impermanent boxes of metal that are currently in the process of destroying life on the planet as we would like to know it. Would you say the same about your friendship?

‘Ask Sydney’ is penned by a Sonoma County resident. There is no question too big, too small or too off-the-wall. Inquire at www.asksydney.com or write as*******@*on.net.

No question too big, too small or too off-the-wall.


Strong Time Feeling

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music & nightlife |

Uno: Hall excels at playing as part of a duo.

By Gabe Meline

In 1961, while his telephone was shut off for nonpayment, the out-of-work jazz guitarist Jim Hall received a note in his Greenwich Village mailbox. “Dear Jim,” it read, “I’d like to talk to you about music.” It was signed Sonny Rollins.

Rollins was already a major figure on the jazz scene, yet he hadn’t worked since 1959, the year he famously announced a temporary retirement. The saxophonist had spent two years in private contemplation–he’d sometimes rehearse alone at night on the Williamsburg Bridge, concentrating on his playing out of the public arena–but now those years were up, and they had led him to Hall. Hall quickly wrote a note back, his haste understandable.

Last week, in his Greenwich Village apartment just down the block from the note-trading of yesteryear, a 76-year-old Hall recalled the Rollins job with humble understatement.

“I think we did pretty well together,” Hall quips over the phone, his speaking voice thoughtful and sincere. “That job was a real challenge for me. I had to accompany Sonny–which was great fun, and my jaw would drop listening to him. But then I had to follow him!”

To watch old footage from this era, such as a stellar performance of the group on Ralph Gleason’s Jazz Casual right after recording Rollins’ landmark album The Bridge, no one would suspect Hall of being nervous; he plays just as fluidly and calmly as ever under a shower of Rollins’ constant curveballs. What he was actually doing most of the time, he now says, was listening. “When I worked with Sonny, I got the message pretty fast that he didn’t like to be led around,” Hall says. “So I would lay back for a second, and see where he was going.”

The term “lyricism” in jazz suffers from a glut of definitions; it can imply sensitive technique, it can mean melodic invention or it can signal tasteful restraint. Hall possesses all three. But what sets him far above many other jazz guitarists is his ability, honed with Rollins, to listen and respond musically to his collaborators. His lyricism is enhanced by a conversational approach to playing, which is why he has so repeatedly flourished in a duet setting. He appears with Dave Holland at the Raven Theater on June 9.

Hall’s attraction to duet recording began in 1959, when he first recorded with the peerlessly introspective pianist Bill Evans. Their resulting album, Undercurrent, and its 1966 sequel, Intermodulation, are timeless masterpieces of sensitive musical dialogue between two empathetic talents. “When we played the duets,” Hall reminisces, “it was as if Bill were inside my brain.”

The small touches, such as Evans soloing only with his right hand while Hall plays rhythm, show how Evans was “so tuned in to the texture and balance,” Hall says. “And obviously, Bill was just an amazing, beautiful player, and a great guy, too. People think of him as this tragic figure, hunched over the piano, but he really had a great sense of humor.”

Despite commercial acclaim for large-ensemble releases such as 1975’s Concierto, Hall has returned time and again to duets. “In larger groups, I find myself just standing there and smiling a lot,” he explains, “whereas in a duet, obviously you’re half of the ensemble, so everything you contribute plays a big role in what goes on.”

A bass player himself in his youth, Hall is especially pleased to be playing with bass virtuoso and Miles Davis alumnus Holland. “Dave plays really strong time feeling, and still he’s open to going in any direction,” he notes. “It can be straight blues, or it can be complete abstract music, just listening to each other and reacting in free-form.”

In accepting the NEA Jazz Masters Fellowship award in 2004, Hall delivered a speech emphasizing the peacemaking ability of music. “Something,” he declared, “that governments might emulate.” He maintains this is due to music’s universal reach, “a language that goes right past spoken languages,” he says. “But I feel that music has to do with humanity. It cuts through politics and governments, and it includes everybody who’s open. I feel very privileged to be a part of that.”

Jim Hall and Dave Holland perform on Saturday, June 9, at the Raven Theater as part of the June 1-10 Healdsburg Jazz Fest. 115 North St., Healdsburg. Pianist Taylor Eigsti and guitarist extraordinaire Julian Lage open the show. 7:30pm. $35-$50. 707.433.4644. www.healdsburgjazzfestival.org




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News Briefs

May 30-June 5, 2007

Shaping memories, hope

Sonoma State University sculpture professor Jann Nunn will be busy on campus this summer, crafting artwork designed to honor all who suffered and died in the Holocaust and other genocides. Two 40-foot-long railroad tracks will be embedded in the lawn on the east side of the campus, next to the Alumni Grove. The tracks will lead toward–but not quite reach–an eternally illuminated glass column representing hope for the future. The railroad “ties” along the tracks will be made of bricks inscribed with the names of holocaust victims; some of a slightly darker color will bear the names of the few who took action against the atrocities. The sculpture will be an important addition to the SSU landscape, says Dr. Elaine Leeder, dean of social sciences and a key member of the planning group. “It’s both for the past and the future; the past to honor those who died and the future in the hope that we will stop it from happening again.”

Here comes Wal-Mart

Employees are stocking shelves and getting ready to open the new 176,000-square-foot Wal-Mart supercenter east of Highway 29 in American Canyon, thanks to a judge’s recent decision that the city met all state environmental regulations when re-approving the project last month. Construction was stopped by court order in May 2005, resumed that August and stopped again last December. Only one plaintiff remains, says American Canyon city manager Richard Ramirez, and unless an appeal is filed by the end of June the store will open. “We hope we will be able to complete this important economic development project for the city.” Other projects–a shoe store, a gas station car wash, a fast food outlet and a hotel–were waiting on final approval of the Wal-Mart, which Ramirez says will “anchor” the new shopping center. “With the anchor comes the fleet.”

A fair share?

An initial budget for voter-approved disaster preparedness and flood prevention funds ($4.1 billion from Proposition 1-E) included money earmarked for Central Valley projects, with the rest to be awarded competitively statewide. Now another $20 million may be set aside for the North Bay. State Sen. Carole Migden, D-San Francisco, pushed the Senate Budget Subcommittee on Resources to prioritize Marin and Sonoma counties. “The incidences of flash flooding and riverine flooding in rivers from the Russian River to the Marin Headlands and northern bay are significant, and routinely threaten both public safety and property,” Migden argues. The revised funding plan goes before the full budget committee in early June.


First Bite

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As a lifelong Marinite, my only points of reference for Sicily are, unfortunately, The Godfather films. And Mezzo Mezzo, the San Rafael restaurant that opened in January, is a quiet, one-room establishment cozy enough to make me feel Michael Corleone was going to exit the bathroom and interrupt my pasta. Although it had a great turnout for a Tuesday night, with half the tables full of mostly couples presumably searching for a quiet evening, I was surprised. The quiet spot, on C Street between Fourth and Fifth, was only familiar to me by way of the adjacent billiards hall and the Mac shop full of pricey accessories.

After walking in and realizing how ideal such a forgotten location was for a quiet eatery, we were seated immediately. With such a literally foreign menu, we needed a few moments, so held ourselves over with the tavula di immiscata ($11), a plate of thinly sliced salami and three different cheeses, shrouded in pistachios, raisins and blueberries. It was the perfect dish to warm up for the main course. At our friendly waiter’s suggestion, we paired it with the Planeta Cometa ($45), a pure Sicilian white that we drank down like water.

When deciding on the main course, I was hard-pressed to find something light. The appetizer was more filling than I’d thought, and the dishes of steak, lamb and rabbit seemed too formidable for my stomach that night. I ordered the salmon Mezzo Mezzo ($20), served in a strong white wine sauce with scrumptious pistachios. The fillet had a strange texture but was perfectly moist and succulent, making me dream of fishing boats on the Mediterranean.

My friend ordered the quagghi co samorigghiu ($19), a grilled quail sitting in olive oil, mushrooms, artichokes and crisp lemon dressing. The sweet potatoes were a delicious touch and the meat was perfectly tender and juicy, but the resemblance to the bird’s shape was a little disturbing to my liberal American eyes. But, as they say, “when in Rome . . .” We concluded our meal with a cannoli Siciliana ($7), a crunchy treat stuffed with ricotta cheese, pistachios and orange rind.

Although the menu leans toward the heavy side, the inviting décor, delightful food presentation and quaint location make Mezzo Mezzo a worthy addition to San Rafael’s already eclectic downtown restaurant scene. Chef Davide La Rocca has successfully brought a little of his home country to Marin. Let’s hope San Rafael is ready for the trip.

Mezzo Mezzo, 1025 C St., San Rafael. Open for lunch and dinner, Tuesday–Monday. 415.459.0330



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Quick-and-dirty dashes through North Bay restaurants. These aren’t your standard “bring five friends and order everything on the menu” dining reviews.

Morsels

After four years of selling the top artisan cheeses in California and around the world, Ditty Vella is closing the doors June 30 on the Cheesemaker’s Daughter shop in Sonoma, just off the town’s main plaza. “I want to spend more time in my garden, and I want to be able to cook for friends,” says the daughter of renowned cheese maker Ig Vella. Ditty adds that meeting incredible people has been the upside of four years of hard work, but she’s ready to move on to other personal projects. “There are people I will miss, but the day-to-dayness of the shop, I won’t miss that.” Lovers of cheese and other fine foods will miss the friendly, hometown atmosphere and diverse sophistication of the stock at the Cheesemaker’s Daughter. 127 E. Napa St., Sonoma. 707.996.4060.



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Quick dining snapshots by Bohemian staffers.


Winery news and reviews.


Food-related comings and goings, openings and closings, and other essays for those who love the kitchen and what it produces.


Recipes for food that you can actually make.

Tooned On

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May 30-June 5, 2007

Eight-foot-tall carnivorous bunny rabbits. Grape Nuts robots. The Magical Oven of the Forest. You won’t have viewed these sublimely surreal creations on the Charlotte’s Web DVD released this spring. Not that there’s anything wrong with a live-action remake of Charlotte, you understand; just that lately, wannabe kid classics like Dakota Fanning’s Charlotte and the already old Eragon just aren’t cutting it anymore. Wilbur can now do CGI back flips and Eragon‘s dragon looks darn cute, but does anyone ever get the feeling that, hellraising South Park-ians and aging Simpsons aside, animated entertainment just isn’t for adults anymore?

It’s a pity, really. Snarky pop-culture writers (not that I know any) often remind us that animation was originally a form of entertainment for adults. Even today, Pixar and its Disney-spawned ilk still offer a few layers of subtext for parents who accompany their children to Cars or Meet the Robinsons. But stoner VW buses voiced by George Carlin and middle-aged superheroes (even ones as cool as The Incredibles) are rather safe, predictable fare. What happened to the really wacky stuff? Isn’t there an alternative to the same old kiddie toons or South Park‘s wearying bodily-function jokes?

As usual, the Internet offers salvation.

Typically, one discovers Flash animation as a freshman in college. The term refers to Macromedia Flash, the software used by animation pioneers to create such memorable toons as The Ren & Stimpy Show, The Critic and the intro to The Rosie O’Donnell Show. However, in recent years, an ever-expanding Flash animation subculture has popped up on the Internet, discovered by bored college types and passed on to the world at large. You’ve probably been seeing glimpses of this subculture in the mainstream media for a while now without even realizing it.

By now, most people have received a taste of JibJab.com, an animation site run by brothers Gregg and Evan Spiridellis that specializes in satires of current politics. During the 2004 Bush/Kerry election, their musical satire “This Land” besieged e-mail inboxes, NBC Nightly News and The Tonight Show with its parody of the Woody Guthrie tune “This Land Is Your Land.” You remember this one: crude magazine cutouts of W. and Kerry singing the re-imagined song, each vowing that “this land will surely vote for me!” (Favorite lyric, Kerry to Bush: “You can’t say ‘nuclear’–that really scares me.”)

This little gem made the JibJab name famous. Thousands flocked there to see more animated political hijinks, including a cooking show in which a stoned Bill Clinton teaches viewers how to bake brownies.

At the end of 2006, JibJab did it again with “Nuckin’ Futs,” a musical recap of the year’s major events from Brangelina to Hezbollah. Sung to the tune of “Jingle Bells,” it stars a chorus of young children commenting on the year’s more notable disasters: “Abramhoff! Tom Delay! Freezers full of cash! My congressman IM’d me for a picture of my ass!”

The cartoon debuted on The Tonight Show and spread to a number of major news and entertainment channels, proving JibJab had come a long way since its days as a mere labor of love. The site now offers merchandise, including DVDs of all its episodes and is described on that paragon of wisdom Wikipedia.com as “a Daily Show for the over 40s.”

JibJab, however, is just the tip of the proverbial iceberg. The world of web animation is vast and offers animated comic relief for every taste, from the politically savvy to the merely hilarious. In the best traditions of animation, the Flash cult is often subversive and thought-provoking, holding up a wonderfully skewed mirror to pop culture.

On the political front, TheMeatrix.com is far and away the animation to beat, not merely funny and intelligent, but actually life-changing as well. A clever parody of The Matrix, “The Meatrix” follows heroes Leo, Moopheus and Chickity (a pig, cow and chicken, respectively) who take on the evil of corporate factory farms. I would never look at the PETA pamphlets in college when concerned vegans tried to educate me on the horrors of how we raise and process livestock. I feared the heartbreaking stories and bloody photographs.

“The Meatrix,” while still getting the facts across (cows raised in pens so small they can never turn around; chickens de-beaked; waste from factories flowing into our water supply), does so in a humorous, engaging way (“Ewww!” Leo says, taking the red pill and confronting the reality of how he’s been raised on his not-so-idyllic farm. “What’s that smell?”). The cartoon blood still makes a point, but without earning the automatic hatred of a defensive audience.

“The Meatrix” has won a good half-dozen awards from various animation festivals and environmental organizations, and rightfully so. I stopped drinking milk within a week, switched to soy and now avoid anything non-organic. And if I feel any base instinct to eat fast food, I just hit the play button and watch Leo wail on the Man’s ass for a while. This is web animation that might just solve the moral and social problems of our fast-food nation.


For those who like their humor blunt and biting, Johnathan Ian Mathers’ Neurotically Yours website (www.illwillpress.com), launched in 2002, offers no end of scathing social commentary and plenty of angry folksongs performed by a pissed-off squirrel named Foamy. Think South Park‘s Cartman is hardcore? Foamy’s hundred-plus cartoons, lovingly collected on the main site and at www.friendsoffoamy.com, have spawned cults and tackled every issue from the pretentiousness of Starbucks coffee cups to outsourced Indian tech support at Dell.

Possessing perpetually raised middle fingers and glaring eyes, Foamy, ironically animated without a mouth despite his verbose nature, seems intent on outdoing South Park both in the intentionally crude style of his animation and his more cogently stated tirades against society. The three “Tech Support” cartoons are some of the funniest animation ever concocted, bashing not only the sloppy practices of computer outsourcing (the techie’s lame computer solutions–“Disable the monitor so as not to see the problem!”–are eerily reminiscent of my last call to Dell), but expressing deepest sympathy for Indian workers earning a pittance to suffer customer abuse from “you American bastards!”

The Indian techie, we discover, is the sole member of the Smell Computer Company support team, working 24/7, 365 days a year and rudely shocked by a cattle-prod-wielding monkey if he doesn’t work to standard. “What is this ‘break?'” he asks Foamy when the squirrel wants to know when he sleeps. The laughter may kill anyone who has ever spent six hours trying to communicate with someone in customer support.

Monkeys with cattle prods sound weird? That ain’t nuthin’. Try entering animator Amy Winfrey’s bizarre little world. Winfrey, one of the most prolific and widely followed web animators (not only has she contributed animation to South Park, her animated short “The Bad Plant” won a silver medal from the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences Student Academy Awards), is the creator of the series Muffin Films, Big Bunny and Making Fiends, a triple threat for any serious follower of web animation. Her world is a strange combination of art-school chic and Edward Gorey, featuring clueless children in peril and a droll contempt for the overly cheerful that would make Lemony Snicket rejoice.

Muffinfilms.com hosts a series of shorts exploring our strange relationship with what the website calls “the baked god of baked goods: the muffin!” (Why do I get the feeling that Winfrey is a Frank Zappa fan?) In 12 shorts, the Muffin Films muffins rise from the dead, eat those who would eat them, make an ill-fated attempt to conquer earth and unleash a tide of grief upon a “muffinless” population. It’s strange, to say the least. But you won’t get this sort of thing anywhere but the web.

The weird fun continues in a more mainstream vein with Big-bunny.com, a truly twisted romp involving three young children who come upon a giant pink (and suspiciously pointy-toothed) bunny in the woods. “Hello, crunchy children!” the creature exclaims–and a nerd catchphrase is born. In between trying to get his new friends to sit on a “couch” made of French bread and dodging the suspicions of Suzy (the only one of the trio to question his frequent use of the word “delicious”), Big Bunny spins tales of the truly bizarre exploits of imaginary characters like the Turnip King and His Bastard Son and the Red, Red Squirrel (the only cartoon animal I know directly influenced by Vlad the Impaler). Any parent who has ever suffered through an episode of The Care Bears is long overdue for a shot of Winfrey’s twisted take on childhood fables. Her Gorey-esque animation style delightfully subverts everything we have come to expect from a cast of cute forest animals.

Of course, Making Fiends (www.makingfiends.com) is Winfrey’s biggest success. Soon to appear as a half-hour show on Nickelodeon, Fiends is a satire of childhood that can also be appreciated by thoughtful children of any age. Full of dark imagination, its animation resembling Gorey crossed with a washed-out version of South Park, Fiends follows the exploits of two little girls, evil genius Vendetta and good girl Charlotte.

Vendetta, the theme song tells us, “is always making fiends,” a series of unholy apparitions she usually sics on the oblivious Charlotte, who is incapable of being anything but cheerful. Winfrey should be commended simply for doing Charlotte’s voice–a high-pitched whine peppered with “Yippees!” and “Hoorays!” that is sure to drive anyone with an ounce of pathos completely insane.

Vendetta, constantly frustrated in her attempts to kill “that stupid girl,” reigns over her first-grade classroom with an iron fist, not to mention a giant hamster (“What a nice bear you have!” Charlotte exclaims), and is a truly inspired creation, winning our affection with her strange idiosyncrasies (she will only eat beef jerky, clams and fruit punch) and her defiant cackle. Vendetta’s voice, done by Aglaia Mortcheva, is something to cherish, her comic timing the center around which all of Fiends turns.

“Oh, Vendetta!” Charlotte exalts at one point, delighted at another of her friend’s strange gifts (a seemingly empty but suspiciously growling cage). “You have an imaginary friend, too!”

“I do not have an imaginary friend!” a frustrated Vendetta insists. “It’s an invisible fiend!”

If you like dark, subversive humor (and giant fleas “with knives!”), Making Fiends is something to make your own.

The list of Flash Animation sites on Wikipedia alone is enough to keep one exploring the subculture for a good long time. Other popular animations include Weebl and Bob, featuring egg-shaped characters similar to South Park‘s Terrance and Phillip (if the Canadian duo were British, unintelligible and obsessed with pie) and a host of edgy titles from the now defunct Bullseye Art site (find their original titles on Wikipedia under “Bullseye Art,” and proceed with caution when approaching their new site www.magicbutter.com, as they’ve gotten a bit sick in their old age), including the exploits of Rat Chicken, who wears a grotesque rodent mask in order to avoid getting axed by Farmer Joe, and the gangsta exploits on Ms. Muffy and the Muff Mob, an unholy combination of Eminem and Strawberry Shortcake, featuring expletive-dropping little girls wearing giant muffin hats. Want to see a magical oven snort the shortcake equivalent of crack? This one’s for you.

However, the crown jewel of current web animation, and a phenomenon sure to live on forever in the history of pop, is Strong Bad Email (www.homestarrunner.com). Strong Bad, a wannabe evil mastermind, eternally clad in his red Mexican wrestler’s mask and boxing gloves, was originally intended to play sidekick to creators Mark Chapman and Craig Zobel’s first Flash character, the dopey but athletic Home Star Runner. However, once “the Brothers Chaps” started a segment on their website featuring the gruff-voiced Strong Bad answering real-life e-mails from fans, nothing was ever the same again.

While half the pleasure of Strong Bad comes from watching him make fun of his correspondent’s grammar, the real name of the game on Strong Bad Email is pop culture. Favorite fan episodes include our intrepid e-mail answerer suffering as his hopelessly primitive computer succumbs to 4 million computer viruses at once (even his Edgar the Virus Hunter program can’t help him); pondering, in a downright profound send up of the genre, what his anime alter ego would look like; writing a children’s book called No Two Children Are Not on Fire; and, of course, drawing a dragon he christens Trogdor the Burninator, who soon gets his own death metal theme song and a music video replete with burning thatch-roofed cottages. These, of course, are only the episodes that can be explained with human language.

The humor on Strong Bad is similar to Napoleon Dynamite if it was crossed with “The Far Side” and made a bunch more references to ’80s hair bands. A huge cast of supporting characters populate the Strong Bad universe, many with their own cartoon shows available at the click of a mouse. The animation is unique. Only Strong Bad himself bears any resemblance to a human being. His brother Strong Sad sports elephant feet and a head reminiscent of the Pillsbury Doughboy. His pet, the Cheat, looks like a Swiss cheese with flippers. One would think, given the surrealistic nature of the animation, that the show would be replete with drug references, but this is a world of silliness not smut, its innocent-but-warped humor making it a breath of fresh air next to popular, foul-mouthed animation like Family Guy.

It is also far more imaginative. The Brothers Chaps don’t stop with cartoons but have expanded to make online video games. Peasant’s Quest (featuring Trogdor) is a fully functional takeoff on the primitive, pixilated games of the ’80s, where players type in commands in order to make their character move. Live-action rock videos featuring the Brothers in drag as members of the hair band Limozeen sneak into Strong Bad e-mails and have even resulted in an online coloring book (in the recent episode “Coloring.”). I’m not ashamed to say I wasted an entire evening exploring this feature, coloring in strung-out-looking rock gods and their groupies with virtual crayons sporting names like “leather black” and “tight shiny purple.”

Perhaps this childlike creativity is why so many other geek artists have been drawn to the show. Early on, the band They Might Be Giants contributed music to a video about the depressive Strong Sad called “Experimental Film.” Buffy the Vampire Slayer creator Joss Whedon has been spotted wearing his Strong Bad T-shirt (the Brothers, who refuse to run any sort of advertising on the website, pay for their business by selling tons of original merchandise) and has included references to Trogdor and Strong Bad on both Buffy and Angel.

In the geek world, putting a Strong Bad bumper sticker on your car may get you into trouble as other fans recognize you and begin to honk. Blockbuster clerks hop up and down at the sight of any clothing sporting the be-masked mastermind, and the entire male population of my first writing group once broke into a spontaneous and completely accurate recital of the “Techno” episode when I innocently asked, “Hey, do you guys know about Strong Bad?”

The bottom line is, some things have to be seen to be believed. Not everyone is going to go gaga over Strong Bad, have an epiphany over Foamy or decide to move to the forest with Big Bunny. But thanks to the slow prevailing of underground art in our creatively starved world, now they at least have the option. There’s a revolution goin’ on, people! As Strong Bad would say, “Everybody to the limit!”


Museums and gallery notes.

Reviews of new book releases.

Reviews and previews of new plays, operas and symphony performances.

Reviews and previews of new dance performances and events.

Sex, Lies and Red Tape

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May 30-June 5, 2007

Back in 1994, Internet entrepreneur Gary Kremen had what seemed like a good idea: register the domain name “Sex.com.” That was before the name was stolen by a man named Stephen Cohen; before Kremen had spent 12 years in and out of courts; before Cohen hired thugs to destroy his own home so that Kremen couldn’t have it; before Kremen became a speed freak from the stress of the affair; before Cohen skipped the country and dumped his millions into Mexican shrimp farms and strip clubs. Yeah, 1994, before all that, when purchasing a domain name, even one with such widespread appeal, was a cost-free affair.

For over a decade, the dispute over Sex.com has been the most bizarre, salacious case in Internet law. Indeed, the case actually changed U.S. law by establishing domain names as personal property, and thus protecting them from illegal conversions. After years of judgments and appeals on both sides and over $5 million in legal fees, the case finally came to a close on May 9 as the Ninth Circuit dismissed Cohen’s latest appeal–his fourth–and insisted that the case come to an end. Another appeal from Cohen, the court warned, and he may be deemed a “vexacious litigant,” against whom sanctions could be levied.

In an overseas telephone interview from Geneva, Kieren McCarthy, who spent five years researching a book about the case, Sex.com: One Domain, Two Men, Twelve Years and the Brutal Battle for the Jewel in the Internet’s Crown, says that the story “is about what men will do when everything that they want is in one possession: power and fame and money and sex.” (Unfortunately, the book is only available in the United Kingdom.)

“No one gets Stephen Cohen,” McCarthy says. “Even Gary Kremen, who spent [over a decade] following his every move, doesn’t get him. He’s one of the most complex characters I think I’ve ever come across. He’s a very, very clever bloke.”Even the story of how Cohen stole the domain from Kremen is shrouded in mystery. At the time, Kremen was an Internet pioneer who had purchased Match.com for $2,500 and had various other investments. Freshly released from federal prison after serving four years for impersonating a bankruptcy lawyer, Cohen apparently forged a fax to convince domain registrar Network Solutions to transfer Sex.com to him. But McCarthy says that was just a cover-up.

First, Cohen filled out an online form deleting Kremen as the contact and transferring the registration to himself. Network Solutions sent an e-mail to Kremen and Cohen for confirmation. But Kremen didn’t get the e-mail because legendary hacker Kevin Mitnick had broken into his account and shut it down.

“Then, because he’s incredibly persuasive, Cohen called up and persuaded whoever was on the other end of the line that the change was legit,” McCarthy recounts. “So they put the change through. Then, afterwards, he wrote this fax as an elaborate smokescreen. For years afterward, people thought it was the fax that had done it. In actual fact, he had found a very clever way to get a hold of the domain and created the fax as a smokescreen after the fact. And it took years to figure out.”

Once he had possession of Sex.com, Cohen turned it into a money-making machine that required very little work, reportedly earning as much as $750,000 a month in pay-per-click viewings and just as quickly transferring the money out of the country. One of Kremen’s lawyers, Richard Idell, explains: “There was basically one page that had four large ads and some different smaller ad spaces. If you clicked on one of these ads, you then got sent to one of these sites, from which you could not escape.” Trying to leave the sites resulted in more and more porn windows popping up until your entire computer ground to a halt with flashing graphics of naked women, oversized penises and worse.

“Those advertisers were paying a great deal of money for those ads,” Idell said. Meanwhile, Kremen spent some $5 million in legal fees trying to get the domain back, at one point even considering bankruptcy.

In 2000, Kremen went to court. The judge ruled that the domain should be returned to him and that he should receive $65 million. But a judgment isn’t worth a thing if you can’t collect on it. Cohen ignored a court order freezing his assets and audaciously wired all of his liquid assets overseas before fleeing the United States himself .

Kremen did get his hands on a spectacular mansion Cohen built in Rancho Santa Fe near San Diego, but Cohen hired people to wreck the place first. “Cohen sent ’round like 20 Mexicans and three of his henchmen, and they tore the place apart,” McCarthy says. “They tore out the plumbing, they tore out the carpet, they pulled out the wooden panels from the study walls. I mean, it was total devastation. It was just two fingers up to Kremen. He was just furious Kremen had beaten him.”

After Cohen ignored court orders compelling him to appear and explain why he shouldn’t be held in contempt, the judge declared him a fugitive from justice and signed an arrest warrant. (Cohen was nowhere to be seen, but Kremen posted a $50,000 bounty on Sex.com for anyone who could bring him in.) Cohen’s lawyers countered that he wasn’t a fugitive because he was under house arrest in Mexico.

Completely stymied in his attempts to collect from Cohen, Kremen took on Network Solutions for giving away his domain. In a seminal 2003 opinion, Justice Alex Kozinski wrote for the Ninth Circuit that property need not be tangible in order to have a value and that Network Solutions could be held at fault for giving away Sex.com. In light of this decision, Network Solutions’ parent company VeriSign settled with Kremen for an amount somewhere between $10 million and $20 million.

Meanwhile, Cohen was still on the lamb, variously claiming to be in Monaco, Macao or Mexico. According to one of his five ex-wives, Cohen has a compulsion to break the law. “He could have easily have been a CEO, he could easily have been a politician,” McCarthy says. “He’s got the brains and the gift of gab. He’s got it, but he also has this perverse need to screw people. He’s an extraordinary character, sometimes utterly charming, sometimes utterly ruthless. A sociopath, I suppose.”

Wherever he was, Cohen was certainly working on one scam or another. “He was into casinos and hotels, or so he claimed,” McCarthy reports. Among his scams: a claim that he was bidding to buy Caesars Palace in Las Vegas, which McCarthy says was actually a stock scam to drive down the share price of the legitimate bidder, buy up the company’s stock and then sell for a profit when Cohen’s bid was revealed to be bogus.

The trick seemed to have failed, but McCarthy reminds that there’s really no way of knowing. “He’s so good at hiding stuff, and he sort of jumps and runs and hides. It’s extremely difficult to know where he’s been and not been. I’m sure there’s hundreds of scams he’s pulled off that we don’t know about.”

When Cohen was finally arrested in 2005 in the Tijuana area, Kremen may have thought he was going to see some of those millions the court awarded him. But when Cohen was hauled back into court, he denied having any money and the judge had him jailed for civil contempt for 14 months. He was released last year because further jail time wasn’t loosening his lips. “Cohen spent what must have been 14 miserable months in jail and he stuck it out just so he didn’t have to give Kremen any money,” McCarthy said.

Kremen has already been handsomely rewarded for his persistence in regaining the domain. He made millions operating Sex.com as an adult “search engine” (as his attorney Idell puts it), and he eventually sold the domain for $12 million. So what drives Kremen to keep pursuing Cohen for an amount that is now, with interest, well over $80 million?

“He could have walked away with millions and just got on with his life,” McCarthy speculates. “But he wouldn’t let it go. He just wouldn’t. Gary Kremen’s won. He’s won back the domain, he’s beaten him in court, he’s beaten him to everything, except for the money. And Kremen just wants Cohen to give him a chunk of money, because he knows that for Cohen to hand over any money whatsoever is an admittance that Kremen beat him. I think Kremen would take even a tiny figure, because it would kill Cohen to pay even $1,000. It would kill Stephen Cohen to do it, because it would mean that Kremen had beaten him. I don’t think Kremen expects to get it all.

“Now that it’s over, he just wants Cohen to realize he was beaten.”


Cheesemaker’s Daughter to close

Wine Tasting

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To tell you the truth, I had a bit of an agenda. I was curious whether a minor squall in the Alexander Valley had cleared up. Some months ago, the San Francisco Chronicle found Geyser Peak’s wine good, the tasting room not. Staff were uninformed, rude and “made fun of me for asking about Tannat, an unusual varietal,” the spurned reviewer wrote. In subsequent letters, readers nodded with the Chron‘s chastisement, and GP’s public relations solemnly swore that they would strive for higher standards and review their pricing strategy. How’re they doin’? I figured my findings would be either (a) they’d shaped up the ship or (b) will the dolts ever learn?

Among the pioneering wineries of Alexander Valley, Geyser Peak is as old as some of the dirt there. It’s gone bankrupt twice in a century and been bought and sold so many times, who can keep track? In the 1990s, the facility was in thrall to Australian overlords Penfolds, who brought in winemakers Daryl Groom and Mick Shroeter. When their Shiraz won top awards at the Sonoma County Harvest Fair, it was seen as a peak moment in an Aussie invasion. So I looked forward to sampling what was new.

This was the only disappointing aspect about my Geyser Peak experience. I wanted to do the tasting that most folks would opt for, but the only available Shiraz is in the Reserve Room. For five varietal or limited selection wines, $5 is charged. But when I had difficulty deciding among the Zins, it was not a problem to add them in (they’re offered as a flight of three). The tasting fee is not plowed back into a wine purchase as is typical; that’s one of those pricing strategies they might wish to review.

The bar suffers more from bad feng shui than anything else. It’s attractive enough, simple, but on an uncrowded afternoon, I don’t know, maybe it was the hum of the refrigerators chilling the bubbly. My tasting host was friendly, but real and knowledgeable, not a know-it-all.

I should have had the award-winning 2006 California Sauvignon Blanc ($13). Instead I went for the 2005 Alexander Valley Chardonnay ($14), which is everything about Chardonnay that winemakers are running away from and claiming they never met; cloyingly sweet and buttery, all that it lacks is overpowering oak. Bottoms up to the inky 2003 Alexander Valley Petit Verdot ($20), redolent of cigar box, with the brambly flavor of Zinfandel and the structure of a serious Merlot.

When the couple to my right asked about the 2004 Alexander Valley Tannat ($25), they received no smirks or jeers, rather a concise story of its French origins and its success as Uruguay’s top red. The aroma is of violets and leather, flavor of olallieberry and tar, and super dry with potential; if the tannins eventually become more lengthy and silken, this is the kind of wine you’d imagine sipping some evening in rapt contemplation, while seated in a comfortable leather-furnished study, reading ancient poetry aloud.

Lastly, the three Zins are sourced from vineyards 10, 50 and 100 years old, respectively. New associate winemaker Ondine Chattan is passionate about Zinfandel and persuaded the GP to release this unique series called XYZin.

Geyser Peak Winery, 22281 Chianti Road, Geyserville. Open daily, 10am to 5pm. $5 tasting, $10 reserve tasting. 800.255.9463.



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Magic Act

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the arts | stage |

By David Templeton

‘Sometimes, one has to step back a bit.”

This ambiguous tidbit of advice appears twice–each time with a different meaning–in Matthew Barber’s literate and poetic adaptation of Elizabeth von Arnim’s classic romantic novel Enchanted April, currently brightening moods and banishing pessimism at Petaluma’s tiny but mighty Cinnabar Theater. In director Elizabeth Craven’s graceful, sure-footed production, the “step back a bit” line is first delivered literally, as advice on how to best appreciate modern art.

When it’s stated again, the line–and everything else in this delightful surprise party of a show–has changed, and the advice applies not to art but, metaphorically, to life: sometimes, one has to step back a bit, take a break, take a vacation from everything you know and have grown weary of in order to appreciate the people we love and to rediscover the people we once were and have forgotten that we are.

“My mind is like a hummingbird. You seldom see it land,” Lotty Wilton admits brightly, in the opening moments of the play. It’s an apt enough description. Like a hummingbird in a cage, Lotty (a luminous Molly Noble) feels trapped, unappreciated and desperate for a change. It is 1922, shortly after WW I has ended, and England is a country full of widows and divided priorities.

Lotty is married to Melersh (a pitch-perfect Dodds Delzell), a distracted, stiffly proper lawyer who possibly once loved her, but now acts as if his wife were nothing more than an accessory to be used in expanding his business prospects. Early on, when she timidly objects to accompanying him to a social engagement, Melersh curtly informs her, “It’s not so important that you enjoy yourself, but simply that you are there.” Throughout the first act, a window stands center stage, battered by a constant torrent of very real rain. It stands as a potent symbol of Lotty’s existential crisis, as she dreams aloud of escaping to a place full of “wisteria and sunshine.”

When she happens upon a newspaper advertisement describing a castle in Italy, available for rent during the month of April, Lotty, with her hummingbird mind, cannot let go of the notion of a month in Italy without Melersh. By chance, she meets Rose Arnott (a dependably excellent Danielle Cain), an emotionally brittle young woman who has retreated into scripture and prayer after a mysterious tragedy. Her imaginative husband, Frederick (Nick Sholley, also excellent), has recently achieved success, under an anonymous name, as the author of scandalous romances, and his attempts to rekindle their cooling marriage are as uncomfortable to Rose as are his novels. “One should not write books God would not want to read,” she scolds him.

With charming enthusiasm and some slightly nutty talk of “seeing” the two of them together in the castle, “without husbands,” Lotty eventually persuades Rose to join her for a month-long sojourn in the sun. To share expenses, they run their own ad and take on two roommates, also women with powerful hankerings to escape from London, rain and men. Lady Caroline Bramble (Laura Lowry) is a sexy society princess eager for some time away from the predatory males with whom she regularly mingles; Mrs. Graves (Carol Mayo-Jenkins) is a severe, elderly curmudgeon who thinks little of everyone but herself and Tennyson, and who clearly disapproves of just about everything. That this odd quartet will all experience profound personal transformation in Italy is obvious; watching it happen is the play’s chief delight.

Adding to the castle’s power are its colorfully arch housekeeper Costanza (Elly Lichenstein in a superbly funny performance) and the castle’s fetchingly offbeat owner, Antony Wilding, played by Tim Kniffin with a blend of aching sweetness mixed with dashing confidence. Believing the women to be war widows, Wilding is clearly smitten with Rose, a circumstance that becomes complicated with the unexpected arrival of the abandoned husbands.

While threatening to turn into some sort of elaborate bedroom farce, Enchanted April maintains its high spirits without resorting to the usual low-browed hijinks (with the happy exception of a towel-clad Delzell staging a hilarious nearly nude meltdown after an unfortunate bathtub malfunction). In the end, Enchanted April more than lives up to its name; this tremendously satisfying production, with its beautifully written script, magnificent cast and first-rate direction, is nothing short of enchanting.

‘Enchanted April’ runs through June 16. June 1–2, 8–9 and 14–15 at 8pm; June 3 and 10 at 2pm. Cinnabar Theater, 3333 Petaluma Blvd. N., Petaluma. $20–$22. 707.763.8920.



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