Off Walden Pond

04.15.09

If a man does not keep pace with his companions, perhaps it is because he hears a different drummer. Let him step to the music which he hears, however measured or far away.

—Henry David Thoreau

For Earth Day next week, you can sit back in front of a radio, TV or computer to watch Walden: The Ballad of Thoreau, a play about Henry David Thoreau’s cushy retreat in the woods. Any reader who blanches at that “cushy” adjective may be laboring under a misconception about just how far into the woods this earth-loving legend actually ventured before sitting down to write. It was a breezy mile and a half from his mom’s house. He suffered no deprivations by the pond, being close enough for parties, drop-in visitors, food baskets and frequent walks into the town of Concord, Mass.

Popular myth holds that Thoreau roughed it, that his dwelling was crude. Not so. It wasn’t even rustic for the times. It was merely simple, a one-room house he built using conventional materials and construction. All his references to cabin, hermitage and hut were tongue-in-cheek. Thoreau’s place on Walden Pond was merely a 27-year-old writer’s site for a tryst with deliberate living.

What he wrote during his two years in comfort on the geographical and intellectual fringe of Concord society became sacred writ to environmentalists who followed him. Though individuals have gone much farther into the woods physically, few have gone further into reflective reverie about the human portion of nature than old Henry David, who inspired misunderstanding both during his life and after.

Even E. B. White’s favorable review of Walden a century after its publication implies that Thoreau’s brilliance was a kind of blundering, that he entered the territory of original thought “very likely without quite knowing what he was up to.” I would argue that all artists blunder into brilliance. Thoreau knew this much at least; that he was a seeker of truth and advocate of justice. That he would wish to defend the sanctity of nature was no different than his abolitionist stance on slavery, and the work he did to care for night passengers on Concord’s underground railroad.

I’ve watched a review copy of Walden: A Ballad of Thoreau, and though I won’t spoil it by a detailed review, I will warn you not to judge the play by the introduction or the afterward, in which the folk-singing playwright Michael Johnathon appears in a crumpled plaid shirt to give folksy speeches. There was just a bit of the gag factor there for me when it became unclear whether the play was actually going to be about Thoreau or about Johnathon himself.

But when the introduction ended and the play began, I was much relieved and entertained. The major dialogue is (thankfully) taken from writings by Emerson and Thoreau, and the simple, staged play employs G-rated, easy-target levity with almost all the laughs at Thoreau’s expense. Watch the play, but keep in mind that Thoreau was not quite the eccentric and socially challenged doofus depicted. He was actually a funny, musical and brilliant guy, as well as the country’s first socio-environmental justice advocate.

Among Thoreau’s most radical proclamations, founded on simple observation, is that humans and nature are inextricably bound, that nature is not just stuff lying around for us to use. After more than a century, this basic concept—like the one about each human life having dignity and deserving freedom—is still difficult for many people to grasp.

 

But not everyone. The environmental movement is inextricably bound with the social-justice movement. The Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. found in Thoreau’s writings the theory of nonviolent resistance. “No other person,” King wrote in his autobiography, “has been more eloquent and passionate about getting his ideas across than Henry David Thoreau. As a result of his writings and personal witness, we are the heirs of a legacy of creative protest.” The socio-environmental movement is rooted in just such “creative protest.”

“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately,” Thoreau wrote in Walden. In any location, living so deliberately remains today an act of civil disobedience.

  ‘Walden: A Ballad of Thoreau’ will be streamed into schools across North America through Earth Day TV, on Wednesday, April 22, www.earthdaytv.net. Check local listings for TV screenings.

 


Thirlwell Thrills Well

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04.15.09

It’s a little coincidental that The Venture Bros. creator Jackson Publick came up with his ambitious Adult Swim cartoon while listening to JG Thirlwell’s Steroid Maximus, since Thirlwell, best known as the sole member of Foetus, would eventually conjure up music for Publick’s show that’s probably best described as a cartoon score on steroids. The compositions definitely fit in with an animated aesthetic, but they’re far from the cheesy, haphazardly recorded synth music meant only to run in the background of a seizure-inducing fight scene.

Like all great scores, Thirlwell’s work for The Venture Bros., whose third hilarious and mythology-expanding season has just been released on DVD, enhances the mood of scenes and generally keeps things moving along. It also stands on its own as unique and exciting piece of music, jumping betweens styles and eras effortlessly and expertly. There’s classical, ’70s funk, lounge, cutting-edge drum ‘n’ bass—the list goes on and on. Thirlwell is at his best when mixing his varying ingredients together seamlessly, blending classical instruments and idiosyncratic genres such as “circus music” with his own signature, modern electronic feel. There are nods to prior film score work from the masters; John Carpenter and Ennio Morricone are the most obvious, with many more for the discerning ear to pick up on.

Narrowing the many bits of music that Thirlwell crafted for three seasons of the show down to 16 tracks was probably no easy task, but the song selection smartly varies between themes that even casual fans of the show will recognize, with tracks that someone who has seen every episode will still feel like they are hearing for the first time. Thanks to Thirlwell’s distinctive composing and musical prowess, the album is equally as accessible and engaging for hardcore Venture Bros. fanatics, cartoon-hating music snobs and everyone in between. Heck, even the cover art is badass.

The Venture Bros.: The Music of JG Thirlwell is available on vinyl at your local independent record store. For those cool enough to love the show but not cool enough to own a record player, a CD version can be purchased through the Williams Street website at www.williamsstreet.com and downloaded digitally at most places digital downloads are downloaded.


Ragabilly Rocker

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04.15.09

The Lost Gonzo Band—the genre-bending ensemble of Texas stalwarts that accrued a measure of renown side-kicking with Jerry Jeff Walker through the 1970s and beyond—was far from Bob Livingston’s mind as he traversed southern India in 1981. Rather, a new direction in his musical journey appeared. Acting on a tip from a fellow American traveler, Livingston applied for a job with the U.S. State Department.

“I wanted to do a history of American folk and country music,” he recounts laconically by phone from Austin, “’cause they’d never heard of Willie Nelson or Hank Williams over there.” An audition was arranged before a public affairs officer at the U.S. consulate in Madras. “We started playing, and he was just staring at us,” Livingston remembers. “And about halfway through the third song, he reached down and pulled out a banjo. And he goes, ‘I’ve been waiting for you to walk through this door for a long time.’ He said, ‘I’ll give you the gig if I can sit in.'”

Thus began Livingston’s intermittent second career as a guitar-picking cultural ambassador, a gig that has taken him across most of southern Asia, from Oman and Yemen to Pakistan, Nepal, Sri Lanka, and just last year, Thailand and Vietnam. At every stop, he’s sought out traditional local musicians willing to attempt an impromptu hybrid.

When it comes time for a few domestic dates, such as his April 18 show at Studio E, Livingston says he hardly needs to change a thing. “I play the same songs, no matter where I am,” he says. That translates to a rough biographical arc, from his school years in Lubbock to the L.A. sojourn where he hooked up with Michael Martin Murphy and Jerry Jeff Walker. The musicians who became the Lost Gonzo Band coalesced around the two writers, cutting four landmark records in just 18 months, including “Geronimo’s Cadillac” for Murphy and Walker’s breakthrough LP Viva Terlinga.

Livingston spends much of his time these days on a homegrown offshoot of his state department touring, blending classical Indian elements and traditional Americana. Incorporating tabla, violin, Sanskrit chants and even an occasional sitar player, what he calls this new “multicultural extravaganza” has found a ready audience in Texas schools, which have even developed an accompanying curriculum. It’s a musical mix Livingston sometimes jokingly calls “ragabilly,” though the slightly more official title for the shows is “Cowboys and Indians.” Which is not as ethnocentric as it might first appear; after all, “there are cowboys all over the world,” Livingston points out. “All it takes is a cow and a boy, and what’ve you got?”

Bob Livingston performs on Saturday, April 18, at Studio E in rural Sebastopol; directions provided with ticket. 8pm. $22. 707.542.7143.


Carrying On

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04.15.09

Shuttered businesses, increasing unemployment and a record rise in home foreclosures tell the story of a deep, long recession that promises to go deeper and longer than any in recent memory. But spread just below the passive indicators depicting the fearful length and chilling depth of economic despair are hundreds, indeed thousands, of North Bay families. These families now struggle to fend off the hard knocks of very hard times.

You don’t need a social scientist to tell you the insecurities of a failing economy take an especially harmful toll on the fragile security of a struggling family. What do we do with less income—or none at all? How do we shop for ourselves and our children? What bills do we pay? How do we see a doctor? How do we keep our home?

These are just some of the questions that quickly become riveting, obsessive challenges for parents cast adrift by a sputtering economy. For some, it means trimming a shopping list and delaying the rent check. For others, it means lining up at the food bank and sending the kids to live with relatives. For all, it means significant dislocation and serious anxiety.

As an agency that advocates for the health of children and their parents, the California Parenting Institute is accustomed to working with families in crisis. But in our 30 years providing services in Sonoma County, we have never before served so many driven to the edge of survival by such rapidly diminishing prospects.

Since increases in economic insecurity are invariably tied to increases in family problems and child maltreatment, CPI now includes an “economic survival” component with the services it offers to parents. A new parenting class, “Assets and Resources: A Survivor’s Guide to Parenting in Challenging Economic Times,” is now available through CPI; the class is free. Parents enrolled in “Assets and Resources” learn some basic budgeting skills, of course. Understanding how to manage even a limited income—and to resist the fear and panic that can create bad decisions—is a fundamental asset for heads of households.

But “Assets and Resources” goes further to explore the challenges of meeting unsatisfied needs (especially those of children), dealing with couples’ stress over money, and managing a myriad of difficult emotional responses to hard economic times. Parents learn how to involve children in age-appropriate conversations about changing needs; how to sustain routine and discipline in new settings; and how to problem-solve and control costs as a family. Despite the hurdles to happiness created by a depressed economy, it is still possible for parents and children to have fun and feel OK.

Parents also learn that they are not alone and that a larger community exists beyond their immediate family that can become a vital resource to them. Friends and acquaintances, which many parents might not think to ask for help, are viewed as potential collaborators in managing transportation, childcare and food costs. Networking among just two families has the potential to cut many living expenses in half. Networking within a neighborhood carries a powerful capacity to limit costs while building stronger social networks among resident families.

 

Beyond the family and neighborhood, there is a larger community that provides a safety net in the form of food banks, shelters, health services, education and employment. The CPI class describes how families can access this safety net as well. But CPI’s primary goal in offering “Assets and Resources” is to support good parenting, especially when times are tough. Effective parenting, in good times or bad, creates happy childhoods. And happy childhoods last a lifetime.

More information about CPI’s free Assets and Resources parenting classes is available by phoning 707.585.6108 or going to www.calparents.org. Robin Bowen is the executive director of the California Parenting Institute.

Open Mic is now a weekly feature in the Bohemian. We welcome your contribution. To have your topical essay of 700 words considered for publication, write [ mailto:op*****@******an.com” data-original-string=”XmAkV3Ct8I+TvjzWv9icQA==06abDRClSuz4MZ8B3CidYBFxyG7SPXbdew6itMnldI/87gZ1oXjX7Y612ELr3U/mArnfS5Qwyh3rkSEsXzkgWI1QAGav49kXl6HGX0F69MkP0/bkWneJ7txBb9rGYtpgHum” title=”This contact has been encoded by Anti-Spam by CleanTalk. Click to decode. To finish the decoding make sure that JavaScript is enabled in your browser. ]op*****@******an.com.  

  


News Blast

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04.15.09

Helping Hands

As fate’s harsh sun sets on the greed-is-good crowd, National Volunteer Week kicks off a new and even presidentially promoted era of selfless giving. Starting Sunday, April 19, and continuing through Saturday, April 26, this year’s event, themed “Celebrating People in Action,” highlights a dizzying array of North Bay volunteer offerings. But judging from some of the events, a good deal of this volunteer work demands suffering some extreme pleasures.

For example, Katie Meehan-Rubin, program manager at the Volunteer Center of Napa Valley tells us that Diageo Chateau and Estates will host a weeklong salute to Napa County volunteers. During the entire course of National Volunteer Week anyone currently contributing their time to a Napa County nonprofit will receive a free tasting for two, a 50 percent retail wine discount and 20 percent off all non-wine purchases at Diageo-owned wineries Acacia, Beauleiu, Provenance and Sterling vineyards. Whichever nonprofit convinces the highest number of its volunteers to drop in for a tipple earns their organization $1,000.

Across the Mayacamas divide, the Volunteer Center of Sonoma County and Friedman’s Home Improvement jointly sponsor Hands Across the County, a volunteer workday on Saturday, April 25, from 9am to noon. Volunteers choose from 13 assorted nonprofits to aid. Chores range from spring housecleaning to gardening, landscaping, creek cleanup and food packaging at the Redwood Empire Food Bank. Hospitality positions are available for those with the gift of gab. Site hosts greet volunteers, direct them to projects and hand out water, snacks and T-shirts. Pet lovers can opt to help at the Petaluma Animal Shelter.

Marin County residents participating in National Volunteer Week get to choose from 11 volunteer opportunities offered through the Center for Volunteer and Nonprofit Leadership of Marin. Tasks include ranch beautification, brush clearing, clerical, donation help and assisting Great Chefs of Marin.

In addition to National Volunteer Week, all three organizations encourage everyone to participate in ongoing year-round volunteer opportunities.

Volunteer Center of Napa Valley, 707.252.6222. www.volunteernapa.org.

Volunteer Center of Sonoma County. Contact Maureen Cecil at 707.573.3399, ext. 125, or mc****@**********ow.org.

Center for Volunteer and Nonprofit Leadership of Marin, contact Katie Nelson at 415.479.5710, ext. 341, or kn*****@*vn.org for more information.


Live Review: Britney Spears at the HP Pavilion, San Jose

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How thrilled was I for the opportunity to take my young niece to the circus! Yes, the fond memories of Ringling Bros. Barnum & Bailey’s ‘Greatest Show on Earth’ still linger in my mind as warm assurances of a childhood well spent. Never had I thought, as a lad, that I might one day be on the opposite end of this great tradition: a torch-bearer passing down to a generation anew the excitement of the traveling circus under the big top.
And yet the occasion was dew-dropped with sorrow. The circus has changed quite drastically in such a short span. I hardly recognized it. The brothers Ringling have nothing to fear in the poor competition presented by this newfangled “Britney Spears” circus of today.
We entered the arena in anticipation alongside droves of like-minded circus fans, bought our popped corn and cotton candy, and found our seats in the grandstand. When the curtain was raised, a group of female acrobats in clown makeup called the “Pussycat Dolls” filled the center ring, but they performed no somersaults, no balancing act, nor did they treat the children in attendance to any aerial trickery.
Instead, the acrobats moved their pelvises in ways that made me think they had to go to the bathroom. This hunch was proved correct when each girl ran to a pole and squeezed her legs around it. Why is there no bathroom provided for the performers? Circus budgets are so tight these days.
In my youth, the circus was a nonstop show. But when the poor Pussycat acrobats left the stage, there was nothing. Certainly, thought I, Merle Evans will march in with the opening strains of “Thunder and Blazes,” followed by wagons of lions; or a caravan of unicycles will charge the arena; or, if fate does smile on us, a motorcycle “globe of death” will roll into the ring.
Instead, a large screen showed moving pictures of the circus. Moving pictures! I could not believe the indignity! The surrounding children in our section seemed content to occupy themselves by staring at their telephones and hitting the small devices with their thumbs, but I was incensed. This was not what I had paid $150 for!
After this half-hour mockery, the lights went out and more live circus tricks ensued, erasing the sour feelings. A clan of jugglers flung clubs into the air! A prancing maiden navigated dozens of hula-hoops! Two strongmen hoisted a nimble gymnast into flights of fancy! All those seated in the grandstands were tickled and on their feet in glee.
Unfortunately, the main attraction of this particular circus was the elephant, who I believe was advertised as a “singer.” Upon the elephant’s entrance, the small children cheered wildly. Yet to the more wizened it was very apparent that the elephant, replete with jovial blonde wig, was not singing at all but only moving its mouth in time with the loudspeakers!
From that point forward, the singing-imposter elephant took center ring. Clowns surrounded the elephant and held their bladders while horrendous crashes of noise mixed with the “songs.” Trapeze artists dangled from the ceiling, unmoving, while the elephant ambled slowly to and fro in a cornucopia of silly outfits.
After an hour, an unknown defect created a gigantic electric malfunction in the circus apparatus, causing sparks to fly onto the rings, and the performance was over. What a disappointment!
I do hope the Ringling Bros. circus comes to town soon. I would relish a chance to show my niece the true spirit of the big-top instead of this shoddy knock-off currently being peddled across the country.

Outside Lands 2009 Lineup Announced

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Here it is—the lineup for the 2009 Outside Lands Festival in San Francisco’s Golden Gate Park, August 28-30, 2009:
Pearl Jam, Dave Matthews Band, Beastie Boys, M.I.A., Mars Volta, Modest Mouse, Ween, Thievery Corporation, Black Eyed Peas, TV on the Radio, Atmosphere,Q-Tip, Bettye LaVette, Raphael Saadiq, the Dodos, Built to Spill, Deerhunter, Mastodon, Calexico, Os Mutantes, Tom Jones, Band of Horses, the National, Akron/Family, the Dead Weather, Silversun Pickups, Robert Randolph, Brett Dennen, Midnite, Jason Mraz, JJ Grey & Mofro, Kinky, Lila Downs, Trombone Shorty, Dengue Fever, Heartless Bastards, the Dirtbombs, Lenka, Incubus, John Vanderslice, Matt & Kim, Portugal, the Man, the Morning Benders, the Duke Spirit, Zee Avi, Blind Pilot, Sambada, Ryan Bingham, West Indian Girl and Extra Golden. Whew!
I was trepidatious about last year’s inaugural Outside Lands festival, but as you can read here, here and here, it was conceived and executed extremely well.
Advance three-day passes are $200-$226. My friend Kim writes to take issue with this year’s “layaway” ticket pricing option, no doubt geared to help those in the struggling economy:
Look – I get that the tickets are too expensive for some people who would want to go. Giving them an option to spread out the cost over a few months is, on the surface of it, a nice convenience. But charging them an additional $35 for it? Could it possibly cost that much to run the card a few times? I don’t really know how much Visa & Mastercard charge, but it seems unlikely to be that much. If I’m wrong, then all apologies, but if not, then OL is charging poor people more money for the same exact ticket.
If you have to spread the cost of the ticket over a certain amount of time, shouldn’t you just do that on your own and buy it when you have the money? The whole thing seems totally predatory to me.
And get a load of this:
IMPORTANT: If, for any reason, any of your payments are declined, in whole or in part, then all of the following will apply: (i) your order and your tickets will be cancelled (ii) any payment received as of that date will be kept by Outside Lands as partial offset for your default, (iii) you will still owe the balance of the full amount due for each ticket and you authorize Musictoday and Outside Lands to charge your credit card for any balance due, (iv) Musictoday and Outside Lands will be entitled to pursue all of their legal and equitable remedies to recover the full payment from you, and (v) you agree to pay all costs of collection incurred by Musictoday or Outside Lands, including legal fees, that they may incur in collecting the balance of each ticket price. Payment plan tickets are subject to all of the other terms of the ticketing agreement.
Mismanage your account or have unexpected expenses, and not only do you lose your ticket, but you’re still liable for the full price.
I suppose this is a good time to remind people that festivals very rarely sell out, and that one-day tickets will surely be made available at some point, just like last year. If you’re raring to be the first on your block to buy tickets, they go on sale April 15.

Borders

04.08.09

We who write about film in the Bay Area like to think we keep a good eye on upcoming talents. And then a phenomenon like Cary Fukunaga comes along, and we’re caught with our pants down. Fukunaga lived around the Bay, growing up in the hills of East Oakland before moving to Sonoma County and then Albany.

Over the phone, Fukunaga says that he was a UC Santa Cruz grad in American history. He wrote his thesis on the politics of history-telling, which he illuminated with the story of two controversial exhibits at the Smithsonian. “It was great,” Fukunaga says of his five years at UC, adding that he didn’t become a film major there, because he thought the film professors were “pretentious.”

Instead, Fukunaga moved on to NYU film school. With the help of the Sundance Institute, he created a feature film as his thesis. His much-lauded debut, Sin Nombre, invites comparisons to Nicholas Ray’s They Live by Night and Terrence Malick’s Badlands. Yet Sin Nombre (“Without Name”), a tale of immigrants fighting their way north from Guatemala and Mexico, isn’t consciously modeled on any of these films.

I asked if he had been thinking of great film noirs in the movie’s closing scenes: Casper (Edgar Flores), a young lieutenant of the southern Mexico Mara Salvatrucha gang, hides in a shipment of cars to the U.S. border with his Guatemalan friend Sayra (Paulina Gaitan). She has been crossing Mexico by land in order to join her family in New Jersey. It is the exact moment where they go from fellow travelers to people in love. Casper knows he’s a goner; the graffiti he sees lets him know that his gang has pronounced him dead—the writing is literally on the wall.

Fukunaga does not mention crime-story movies when recalling this particular scene; what he was after, he says, was the magic-hour twilight shots of Iceland in Bradley Rust Gray’s 2003 Salt. “The theme of men on the run could be found in Westerns as well as film noir,” he says. It seems Fukunaga, 31, is an intuitive filmmaker, not all that comfortable spelling out the deeper themes or motives. In Sin Nombre, it’s what’s up front that counts.

For a young, first-time feature filmmaker, Fukunaga has succeeded at reconciling the tragedy and beauty of life on the run. The movie contains multitudes: pearlescent dawn shots of smoking volcanoes, barrios seen from the crowded top of a freight train, sleeper who loops his belt on a railing so he won’t fall off when he sleeps.

We’re in the company of immigrants who carry cell phones but are still reduced to drinking ditchwater. There are lyrical interludes of refuge at stops along the rail yards where the travelers bathe and are fed. On the railroad trackside, there are locals with offerings of fruit; sometimes they carry rocks to throw.

This passionately told and moody film includes the horrific side of urban Mexican life, of gangsters with home-made iron shotguns, whose faces are blue with demonic tattoos. In their lost-boys clubhouse, they butcher their rivals and feed them to their pit bulls.

But the film’s great moment of alienation actually takes place in the States. It’s a shot, high up and wheeling, of a vast and vacant shopping-center parking lot at dawn, as inhospitable as the surface of Mars. It’s rare we’ve seen the contrast of two separate worlds—the different sides of the border—made so clear and sharp. 

Explaining how he came up with the film’s title, Fukunaga says, “During my research, when I was at the Mexican side of the Rio Grande, I saw these crosses without names, dedicated to those who didn’t make it. I thought this was a very touching detail, about those who died trying to reach the American dream. The title refers to them—not only to the members of the gang who lose their real names when they go in.”

It’s interesting that this week there are two excellent movies about the immigrants’ tale, Sin Nombre and Sugar. Both films counter the sometimes hysterical rhetoric of nativist politicians with the stories of decent people caught between a hard place and a border.

‘Sin Nombre’ opens on Friday, April 10, at the Rialto Cinemas Lakeside, 551 Summerfield Road, Santa Rosa. 707.525.4840.


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Eat Your Greens

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04.08.09

The stinging nettle plant resembles mint, with fuzzy, jagged leaves paired opposite a central stalk. But the plant’s hollow spines contain a decidedly un-mintlike cocktail of irritants, including formic acid, the active ingredient in red ant venom. It figures then, that the plant’s scientific name, Urtica dioica, is related to the Latin urticaria, which means “skin rash.”

Nettles are among the first of the season’s wild plants that can be gathered in quantities large enough for both eating and storage. The wet and warming months of spring are the best time to gather nettles. While the plants will keep growing all summer, it’s the supple young shoots—between six and 16 inches tall—that are best to gather and eat.

Nettles contain many nutrients, including calcium, iron, manganese, potassium and protein. They have traditionally been used in supplements by people who don’t get enough meat or fruit, and to treat a wide range of ailments, including prostate and kidney problems, arthritis and allergies.

You need gloves and scissors to harvest nettles, unless you want to get stung. Turns out some people do want to get stung.

“The walls of the hairs are composed of silica, i.e., natural glass, and contact breaks the fragile tip of the hair, which is sharp enough to push into the skin, while at the same time the venom, stored under pressure in the expanded base, travels up the hair and is injected into the skin through the broken tip,” reports the website www.mordor.u-net.com/smbd/nettles.html in a detailed discussion of a practice called sado-botany.

I learned about sado-botany while searching for nettle information online, evidently with the “safe search” filter on my web browser turned off. The first web page I found, quoted above, offers many thoughtful tips on nettle-enhanced kinky sex, including a sensible warning to avoid use of the New Zealand nettle, which is strong enough to kill a horse.

Those more interested in wholesome nourishment should know that nettle barbs are disarmed when the greens are cooked. They have a wild flavor, earthy like spinach, rich like asparagus.

My nettle stash is up a steep, moist, west-facing drainage near town. The drainage has a little creek that runs next to a trail that, in spring, is often layered with a slippery layer of mud. I call this place “Dog Poop Gulch,” or something like that—I can’t divulge its real name because if I did, my girlfriend would punish me. (And clearly, nettles and punishment can be a potent combination.) 

If you can find your own patch of nettles, you should cash in. Don’t worry about decimating the nettle population, because it is almost impossible to do. Nettles aren’t native to the United States, so feel free to munch on as many of these invasive weeds as you like. And if you gather more than you can eat for dinner, consider preserving some, via dehydration or blanching and freezing. Just remember, in places like Dog Poop Gulch, you don’t want to harvest alongside the trail, for obvious reasons.

Dogs, foragers and sado-botanists aren’t the only critters who enjoy the occasional frolic in the nettle patch. There is also my friend Bob Pyle, world-renowned lepidopterist and acclaimed writer and naturalist. Bob, who self-identifies as a non-sado-botanist, told me he knows of at least three butterflies whose caterpillar incarnations eat nothing but nettles. Nobody knows what these larvae ate before nettles invaded North America.

While caterpillars eat their nettles raw, I think that would be too distracting. Just a few minutes of steam wilts the stingers, and you can call it good right there. Toss them with minced garlic and soy sauce, perhaps, and serve. Nettles can make a great pesto too, in conjunction with the usual pesto constituents, minus the basil. And they can be used in any cooked spinach recipe.

Chef Jeff Miller of Papoose Creek Lodge in Montana specializes in cooking with wild foods. He gave me a great recipe for ravioli filling, which would make a fine pizza topping, too. To make it, blanch some nettles a handful at a time in boiling salted water, and then plunge them into an ice bath, a process known as “shocking” that stops the cooking immediately and fixes a bright green color. Squeeze out the water from the shocked nettles.

In a food processor, blend 1 cup blanched nettles, 4 tablespoons grated Parmesan, 4 tablespoons ricotta cheese, 1 teaspoon lemon zest, 1 teaspoon nutmeg and a pinch of salt.

For the ravioli dough, follow the pasta recipe of your choice. I like the one in Joy of Cooking. Roll the fresh pasta into sheets.

On one sheet, place teaspoon-sized dollops of filling in a grid pattern, about 1 1/2 inches apart. Dipping your finger in water, draw lines between the dollops and around the perimeter of the sheet, and cover with another pasta sheet. Starting at one end, press firmly along the wet lines, squeezing out the air and bonding the pasta around each ravioli. Cut apart the raviolis with a butter knife or pasta cutter.

To cook, drop them in a big pot of boiling, salted, olive-oiled water for about 2 minutes, or until they float. Set aside 1/2 cup of pasta water to use in the sauce.

Strain the ravioli, toss them in olive oil and minced raw garlic, and set aside. Make the sauce as follows:

Pan-toast 1/2 cup of crushed walnuts on medium heat. When they’re hot and golden, add half a stick of butter. When the butter starts to brown—but before it burns—add 2 tablespoons of lemon juice. Lower heat and toss the ravioli in this sauce with a splash of pasta water. It should sizzle a little. Don’t overload the pan with ravioli. Serve sprinkled with toasted walnuts scooped from the pan.

There’s no sadism in this dish, just nutritious pleasure—with no stings, and hopefully no extra caterpillar protein.

 

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So Meaty!

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04.08.09

“I love gay men,” admits Joel McHale, host of E!s weekly pop-culture roundup show The Soup, assessing his enormous gay following via phone one morning last week. “They seem to have all the money, they’re definitely the best dressed, the most in shape. But no one ever talks about my enormous straight following! Or my enormous hermaphrodite following. That’s so sad.”

Without a doubt, McHale is one of the funniest people on television, with built-in triggers for camp, self-deprecation and absurdity, and all he has to do every week is make fun of what he calls the “morally bankrupt place” of television. “I think there’s a lot of schadenfreude,” McHale says of viewer mentality. “It’s like, ‘Look at these freaks.’ I see the morbid fascination; it’s the Gladiator aspect of wanting to see people fall apart. The shows are becoming so insane. I can’t imagine what it’s going to be like in 20 years.”

Really? Can’t he make a guess? “I’m gonna say live sponsored executions,” McHale sighs. “It’ll be like Monday Night Football.”

McHale himself has a background in theater, a healthy dose of Catholic guilt and teenage memories of driving down the streets of Seattle blasting “Posse on Broadway” by Sir Mix-a-Lot. He was always the one yelling at the television in his underwear, he says, and cannot believe he now gets paid to do it in a suit—nor can he believe that the world’s craziest people, including Tyra Banks and Bruce Jenner, hate his guts for simply pointing out the obvious.

 

“I know that David Hasselhoff is not a big fan,” McHale explains, “but he shouldn’t have gotten totally wasted and started shoving tacos in his mouth! It’s like, what do you expect us to do? We never go after people because we have a vendetta. We try to let their clips hang themselves.”

McHale’s standup tour comes to town this weekend. “I talk a lot about pop culture, I talk a lot about behind the scenes at E!,” he says. “That’s half the show, and the other half I’m talking about my life and my family, which is a nutty, nutty place. So it’s half-and-half; there’s something for everyone. And then I take my pants off.”

Joel McHale takes his pants off on Saturday, April 11, at the Wells Fargo Center, 50 Mark West Springs Road, Santa Rosa. Two shows, 7pm and 10pm. $39.50. 707.546.3600.


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