Former Santa Rosa councilmember Gary Wysocky once asked me, “Keith, why do you hate bicyclists?” Of course I responded in the negative. Bicycling is a great way to exercise and get around locally. And I must always include my mantra, “No cyclist or pedestrian should get hit by a motorist.”
But I have noticed a disturbing trend, most recently during the Tour de Fuzz event: competitive bicyclists ride the outer line of the bicycle lane instead of within the lane. Not only is it dangerous, it is simply rude. The county and cities have spent millions of dollars in order to establish a safe space for bicyclists on our thoroughfares, and now, because of state and county law, we must yield an additional three feet of space to them regardless. So it appears we have wasted millions of dollars on these safety improvements because these rude riders are purposely forcing motorists to give them an additional three feet of space regardless of the existing bike lanes. It’s just ridiculous. We need to stop coddling these idiots and force compliance of the law. And it doesn’t help that law enforcement has “embraced” cycling. It affects their judgment and leaves thousands of dollars on the table that we could be collecting in fines for traffic scofflaws on bicycles. Do I hate bicyclists? No, I do not. I vehemently dislike public rudeness, period. “Share the Road” should apply to all users, less than 5 percent of whom are cyclists.
Get a Haircut
We Americans are in a decidedly sour mood about the state of our country. On the verge of war with North Korea and saddled with a much-despised president, it’s easy to succumb to pessimism. It’s time to elevate the mood of my fellow countrymen and countrywomen. These proposed innovations may appear superficial, but they would go a long way toward inspiring people to aspire to a new Golden Age.
My ideas, in order of importance:
• No more short-shorts with buns hanging out for all to see.
• No more torn blue jeans.
• No more form-fitting black leggings that graphically depict every curve and/or lump.
• The man-bun has got to go—get a haircut already!
Thanks for considering these ideas, which are neither liberal nor conservative—just common sense, something in short supply these days.
Awesome to see (“Cowboy Creamery,” Sept. 13)! Keith is the best. We miss him here in Minnesota. Congrats on your new venture in California.
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