Seasonal Wines

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Seasonal Wines

Buy the Bottle

Wine gifts for discriminating tastes

By Bob Johnson

‘TIS THE SEASON, and you know what that means: searching, struggling, and stressing to find just the right gift for each person on your holiday list. If there’s a wine lover on that list–and habitating in or near California’s North Coast Wine Country–the gift possibilities seemingly are endless. And, perhaps surprisingly, they need not necessarily involve vino. Better still, the “Santa’s helper” list we’ve compiled requires no fighting for a parking space at the local mall. Everything on the list is a simple phone call and a friendly UPS (or FedEx) driver away.

Ready for some armchair shopping?

Sit back, loosen up your phone-punching finger, and as they like to say on info-mercials, have your credit card ready.

Perhaps the best wine primer ever written, Kevin Zraly’s Windows on the World Complete Wine Course, has been updated this year. It provides a good overview of the world’s wine regions, interesting historical notes, tips on tasting, and much more. Perfect for someone just getting into wine. $24.95. Wine Appreciation Guild, 800/231-9463, or wineappreciationguild.com.

Uncorking a bottle of wine doesn’t have to strain one’s wrist. The Screwpull Lever accomplishes the task with a simple “over-and-back” motion. It’s a truly ingenious invention, and would be most appreciated by anyone who enjoys wine on a regular basis. (Attention, all friends and family members: The previous sentence includes a very important subliminal message. If you are not now reaching into your wallet and preparing to make a call or go online, please reread.) $160. 877/CRE-USET, or screwpull.com.

A less expensive version that utilizes the same lever principle, the Rabbit, is new this year from housewares specialist Metrokane. (Attention, all friends and family members: If your investment portfolio at the start of the year consisted entirely of dotcom stocks, you may transpose the aforementioned subliminal message to this item.) $75. International Wine Accessories, 800/527-4072, or iwawine.com.

Some of the most comical moments on NBC’s Frasier occur when brothers Frasier and Niles Crane discuss or evaluate wine. So it was only natural that David Hyde Pierce, who plays Niles, would one day host a wine-related series on PBS. That day has come, and the six-part series, Wine 101, is now available on video. $89.95. Wine Enthusiast Catalog, 800/356-8466, or wineenthusiast.com.

Gift baskets always make great holiday presents, and two good sources are the Web-based gotfruit.com and the Orange County-based Wine Country Gift Baskets. (Yes, we know they no longer grow wine grapes in Orange County, thus rendering the region suspect as “wine country,” but, heck, they don’t grow many oranges there, either.) Wine Country Gift Baskets features a “local flavor” basket that includes three bottles of Kendall-Jackson wine (also not grown, fermented, or aged in Orange County) and assorted goodies for $99.95, and a “Connoisseur’s Selection” basket with similar edibles and two bottles of La Crema wine for $74.95. The company offers a 5 percent discount on orders placed through its website, giftprogram.com. At gotfruit.com, whose Web address is the same as the company name, the baskets feature a mix-and-match array of cheeses, wines (including several North Coast bottlings), and, natch, fruit. Yes, even those perfectly shaped, seemingly-untouched-by-human-hands pears that suddenly materialize every holiday season.

For the person who has everything . . . from a gift giver not on a budget . . . how about a metal wine rack shaped like a cello? Two sizes are available, one that holds six bottles, measuring 14 by 42 inches, and one that holds 10 bottles and six wine glasses, measuring 24 by 56 inches. We’d add a comment such as, “This gift is a great way to strike a whimsical chord,” but we’re above such things around here. $390 (small) and $585 (large), plus shipping, from Galleria Lighting & Design of Denver. And you even have to pay for the phone call: 303/592-1223.

Local Options

Don’t like to shop on-line, worry that your credit card number might be intercepted when ordering, or afraid your phone might be tapped? Old-fashioned, hop-in-the-car shopping is available nearby, offering an eclectic variety of gifts that won’t evoke same-old, same-old shrugs from wine enthusiasts. Among the options:

ON THE VINE A gift shop where every item in stock has some relation to wine, food, or nature. Many of the goods, such as grape-cluster pins and vino-themed charm bracelets, can’t be found anywhere else. 1234 Main St., St. Helena; 707/963-2209.

ART AND ALL THAT JAZZ Another outlet for rare or one-of-a-kind jewelry, many of the designs related to wine. Also a good source of jazz CDs–the perfect accompaniment to a glass of merlot. 119-A Plaza St., Healdsburg; 707/433-7900, or www.artandallthatjazz.com.

V. SATTUI WINERY Best known for its vast picnic grounds and only-at-the-winery, award-winning bottlings, this also is an excellent source of gift items. And if you’re assembling a basket as a gift for a party host, you’ll find more than 200 choices at Sattui, from artisan breads to delectable cheeses. Corner of Highway 29 and White Lane, St. Helena; 707/963-7774.

K-J WINE COUNTRY STORE Wine-themed gifts of every kind and in every price range can be found here, along with virtually every wine in the K-J portfolio (including the four Cs–Calina, Cambria, Camelot, and Cardinale). 5007 Fulton Road, Fulton; 707/571-8100.

CARMENET MARKETPLACE The newest place to shop for glassware, pottery, and ceramics crafted by Wine Country artists. Of course, you can also purchase Carmenet wines, including the popular Dynamite line. No reports of Jimmy Walker sightings thus far, however. 14301 Arnold Drive., Glen Ellen; 707/996-8345.

From the December 21-27, 2000 issue of the Northern California Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

‘Unbreakable’

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‘Unbreakable’

Supersurprise

Training a b.s. detector on ‘Unbreakable’

Writer David Templeton takes interesting people to interesting movies in his ongoing quest for the ultimate post-film conversation. This is not a review; rather, it’s a freewheeling, tangential discussion of art, alternative ideas, and popular culture.

THE AMAZING Randi is not easily fooled. From the surprise endings of movies to the elaborate illusions of stage magicians to the insistent claims of real-life “psychics,” James Randi is a master at ferreting out the truth, at recognizing how the trick is done, at guessing, in advance, how the film is going to end.

Once in a blue moon, though, it doesn’t happen. “I admit it,” says Randi, chatting amiably as he signs a pile of letters in his office at the James Randi Educational Foundation in Fort Lauderdale, Fla. “I confess. I was unable to guess the surprise ending of Unbreakable. The gimmick at the end is suitably safe from detection.”

So there you go.

Unbreakable, in which Bruce Willis learns that he may have comic-book superpowers, is another collaboration between Willis and director M. Night Shyamalan, the same team that brought us The Sixth Sense, the other movie that completely surprised James Randi.

“It really doesn’t happen very often,” he says with a laugh. “I almost always figure out the ending long before it comes around. That’s why I seldom go see magicians anymore. When I see David Copperfield, I’m doing my ‘ooohs’ and ‘ahs’ at the wrong point in the show, 30 seconds before the rest of the audience goes ‘Ooooh’ when they see that the box is empty and the girl is long gone. I saw it when she went.”

A professional magician turned author and educator, the Amazing Randi has devoted himself to the debunking of mystical fakery and psychic flimflammery. He’s revealed the workings of “miracles” and exposed the tricks of “psychic surgeons.” For years he’s been offering $1 million to anyone who can prove, under the rigors of solid scientific testing, that they have psychic powers.

Many have tried, but no one has yet claimed the prize.

This is clearly upsetting to that legion of tricksters–be they telephone psychics or full-time “faith healers”–who make their living from people’s desperate gullibility.

Well, if Randi’s mystical debunking annoys them, they should try going to a movie with him. He’s the kind of guy who sees everything that is wrong with a film and is willing, if asked, to point out all the gaffs.

For example (and if you haven’t seen Unbreakable, then skip the next two paragraphs):

“I think they failed in one thing during Willis’ fight with the bad guy,” Randi says. “They have Bruce Willis jumping on this guy and being crashed into walls. And Willis is not hurt by the fact that he caves in the plaster wallboard every time his body is slammed against the wall.

“But that wouldn’t hurt me either!” Randi continues. “I’ve fallen against a wall and smashed the plaster and not had to go to a hospital. I think that if Willis were truly unbreakable, they should have punished him a bit more. Things like that bother me.”

Just don’t get him started on 2001: A Space Odyssey. “By God, are there a lot of booboos in that one,” he says.

Randi is also skilled at anticipating what an interviewer is planning to say. “The belief in ghosts and psychic abilities,” I begin, “is a big part of our culture. But the superhero myths are just as rooted into our culture. For some reason we have a real fondness, perhaps even a deep desire, for . . .”

“Fantasy? Mythology. Pretending? Magic? All that sort of thing?” he jumps in. “Yes, I agree. And there are a lot of people out there who don’t differentiate between comic-book reality and the fantasy of psychic powers. I deal with them all the time. There was a fellow in here just this morning,” he elaborates, “wanting to collect the million-dollar prize. We sat him down for a quick test, and he got zero out of 10. He couldn’t believe it. He said, ‘At home I always get 10 out of 10,’ because he didn’t know how to properly test himself. So I showed him how a proper test was done, and he just shook his head and walked out very silently. Guys like this don’t understand how the real world works. They want comic-book fantasy to exist in the real world, but it doesn’t. It can’t.”

“Why,” I ask, “do so many people want psychic powers?”

“Not only want them,” Randi says. “They need them. I’ve often said that there’s no amount or quality of evidence that will un-convince the true believer. I’ve had psychics’ managers come to me and say, ‘Oh no. If you prove that it doesn’t work, she’ll back down on it. If she doesn’t have a leg to stand on, she’ll be the first to admit it.’ And they are amazed after I give the test and she fails it. They say, ‘You were right Mr. Randi. There isn’t anything that will convince her it’s not true.’ Because these people are dedicated to the reality of spiritualism. They need it to be true.”

Randi has nothing against fantasy, however. “Fantasy is important,” he says. “Without fantasy we wouldn’t have so much of the art and poetry and beauty that is brought about by titillating our respective fancies. I’m all for it. But don’t tell me it’s real. David Copperfield would never insult your intelligence by telling you that he really did cut the girl into eight pieces with a buzz saw. He just asks you to sit back and pretend.”

Pretending, says Randi, is a vital part of being human. “I remember pretending to be Superman,” I confess. “As a kid, being a superhero seemed so much better than being a scrawny kid who has to clean his room.”

“I understand. We humans have a powerful yearning to be more than we are,” agrees Randi.

That said, he counters my Superman envy with a Randi-esque childhood desire of his own. “I wanted to be Batman,” he admits, “because I couldn’t accept Superman. A guy that a bullet won’t kill? That can leap over a skyscraper? A guy that can fly? Come on, get out of it. But Batman! He used ropes to get over buildings. I could believe in Batman.

“Then along came Michael Jordan and we find out that guys really can fly,” he adds. “In fact, if I could imagine anyone today who would make a believable crime-fighter, it would be him. Putting balls through a hoop seems a misdirected talent for Michael Jordan. Basketball made him a multimillionaire, of course, but wouldn’t it be great if he took up crime-fighting?”

“What would his costume be?”

“Oh, he’d wear a G-string, I think; otherwise he’d be a little constrained. ”

“And he’d wear Nikes.”

“Of course. No sandals or anything.”

“And what would we call him?” I ask. “The Flying Man? Air Jordan?”

“Good question,” says Randi. “I’ll have to work on that.”

From the December 21-27, 2000 issue of the Northern California Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Open Mic

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Open Mic

Open Mic

Off the Wall

By Jacques Levy

No university wants to be caught promoting revisionist history. Nor should Sonoma State students be subjected to such history at the entrance to their new Information Center. Unfortunately, that is just what the new Cesar Chavez mural promotes, as we learned from the artist herself at the mural’s recent dedication. Philippine-born Johanna Poethig pointed to two tall Filipino farmworkers towering above a huddled figure of Cesar Chavez at the center of the mural. She said: “Delano, California, Sept. 8, 1965. Filipino workers vote to strike. Joined by Mexican workers, they formed the United Farm Workers.”

This is a “little-known fact,” Poethig said proudly. Students and others, she said, would learn the truth and give the Filipinos proper credit. Unfortunately, the facts are quite different.

In 1959, the AFL-CIO chartered the Agricultural Workers Organizing Committee and assigned a seasoned white organizer as director, who was later replaced with another white organizer. By September 1965, on the eve of the grape strike, the AWOC still had no genuine membership base nor a single contract with a grower. Most of its members were Filipinos. Chavez, on the other hand, had quit his job and brought his family to Delano in 1962 to found a farmworkers’ union. He met with workers in the fields and vineyards throughout the state and enlisted them in a new, independent organization he called the National Farm Workers Association, which he had patiently built up by 1965. When the AWOC strike reached Delano, he faced a dilemma. He had planned to avoid strikes until his organization was far stronger, but he believed in union solidarity. He called for an NFWA meeting in Delano for Sept. 16, and 1,200 workers voted to strike for union recognition as well as a union contract and pledged to remain nonviolent.

The AWOC provided its members with an AFL-CIO strike fund. The Chavez group was on its own. The strike lasted five years, culminating in signed contracts and union recognition.

The great achievements of Cesar Chavez could be recognized if a plaque correcting the mural’s deceptive history were placed next to the mural.

–Santa Rosa

Jacques Levy, author of ‘Cesar Chavez, Autobiography of La Causa,’ was a member of the advisory board set up for the Cesar Chavez Memorial Mural Project at SSU.

From the December 21-27, 2000 issue of the Northern California Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Spins

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Spins

Rage On!

Aggro-funk heavyweights issue best sides

Rage Against the Machine Renegades (Epic)

Rage Against the Machine’s newly released swan song transcends its status as a record company rush job in the face of the popular rap-metal band’s recent breakup. Though this poorly packaged set of hip-hop and hard-rock covers lacks any information about the originals, the band’s innovative sound and righteous fury consistently brings focus to this well-chosen revolutionary material. Rock anthems like the Stones’ “Street Fighting Man” and Bob Dylan’s “Maggie’s Farm” are bent and sharpened with the same politicized aggro-funk that’s applied to rap classics like Eric B and Rakim’s “Microphone Fiend” and Cypress Hill’s “How I Could Just Kill a Man.” On “The Ghost of Tom Joad,” they create a complete war zone out of the title track to Bruce Springsteen’s last musical disc. Epic may have rushed Renegades out, but the integrity of RATM’s insurgent identity is the stronger voice. Karl Byrn

Gram Parsons Another Side of This Life: The Lost Recordings of Gram Parsons, 1965-1966 (Sundazed)

As a member of the Byrds in the late ’60s, singer/songwriter Gram Parsons helped pioneer country rock. He lived a short, fast life. In 1973, he drowned in a mix of smack and tequila at a cheap Yucca Valley motel. More recently, the alt-country crowd has resurrected Parsons and enthroned him in the rock firmament as a tragic hero. These just-released tracks capture a youthful, innocent Parsons honing his skills as a solo folkie during and shortly after his one semester at Harvard University. There is little grit to his workmanlike covers of Buffy St. Marie (“Codine”), Fred Neil (“Another Side of This Life”), or Tom Paxton (“The Last Thing on My Mind”) tunes. And the originals are a mixed bag of ballads and plaintive laments on love and life, though there are early versions of two signature Parsons’ songs, “Brass Buttons” and “November Nights.” Most will find this little more than a curiosity piece. But die-hard Americana fans may marvel at how quickly Parsons rose from these humble beginnings to become one of the most influential musicians on the modern country landscape. Greg Cahill

Various Artists Freight Train Boogie: A Collection of Americana Music (Jackalope)

VANITY FAIR recently took quite a pot shot at the whole American craze in its big fat music edition. And this twangy sound does invite parody. On the other hand, it also can be a helluva lot of fun in a campy hillbilly sort of way (Kevin Russell’s title track), or in a whiskey-soaked alt-country fashion (Cropduster’s “Creosole Blues”). Indeed, this 17-track CD benefitting KRCB-FM–and produced by KRCB show hosts Bill Frater and Doug Jayne–offers a fistful of unreleased sides from local and national acts. And if you’re not won over by Stacey Earle’s sultry cowgirl lament “Can’t You Dance,” then Split Lip Rayfield’s zany “Train Song”–performed with the aid of a stand-up bass constructed from a weed whacker and a pick-up truck gas tank–should perk up your jaded ears. G.C.

From the December 21-27, 2000 issue of the Northern California Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Newsgrinder

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Important events as reported by daily newspapers and summarized by Daedalus Howell.

Monday 12.18.00

Jack and Samantha top the list of the most popular names for babies delivered this year at Marin General Hospital in Greenbrae, reports the Marin Independent Journal. Other popular names for newborns were Baby-Jane-Doe.com, Baby-Jane-Doe.net, and Baby-Jane-Doe.org. With the Internet Corporation for Assigned Names and Numbers’ recent approval of new domain name suffixes, baby names expected to become popular in the coming months include Baby-Jane-Doe.biz, Baby-Jane Doe.pro, and Baby-Jane-Doe.museum. “In the past we’ve had Justin and Jennifer and a whole host of other names that were less historical and traditional,” said Vicki White, chief nursing officer at Marin General, with a nod to the future. In lieu of setting up trust funds, many parents expect their progeny to sell their names to the start-ups of tomorrow. . . .

Monday 12.18.00

A sewer by any other name would not smell as sweet, or at all if Monte Rio’s Sweetwater Springs Water District gets its druthers. In opposition to the county, the quaint river town just flushed a proposed $7.9 million project to install a locally operated sewer system. The project was intended to help clean up the Russian River by piping waste from 600 Monte Rio homes and businesses into “underground barrel-shaped grinders, which would churn the material into purée and pump it through a pipeline to a treatment plant and disposal leaching fields,” reports the local daily. In an unrelated story, sales of bedpans and corks have surged throughout Monte Rio.

Sunday 12.17.00

From the mouths of babes and into the ears of strange men who invite children to sit on their laps: Santa’s back in town, hanging out at the Santa Rosa Plaza mall and taking Xmas orders from the rosy-cheeked consumers of the future, reports the Press Democrat. An 8-year-old girl explained that when St. Nick can’t get his girth down the chimney he “goes through the front door. He’s magic.” No, he would be a felon. A 7-year-old boy told Santa that he wants chicks for Christmas so that he could “feed them and let them grow up.” Well, he’s got it about half right. Another little girl said she wanted batteries for Christmas–oddly enough, so does my girlfriend.

Sunday 12.17.00

The Lytton Band of Pomo Indians of Sonoma County will soon be the owners of Northern California’s first full-service casino in an urban area. Congress approved the Lytton gambling plan in the East Bay city of San Pablo last week, and President Clinton is expected to sign the bill. The tribe’s attorney, Anthony Cohen of Santa Rosa, told the PD, “What this is going to mean is that for the first time in 40 years they are going to be able to buy some land for themselves, build homes, and a tribal community center, and then provide all the benefits that any government strives to do for its people.” Spokesmen for the Miwoks say the tribe has no plans to establish gambling operations on ancestral lands–psych! The whole state is ancestral land.

Saturday 12.16.00

Petaluma ain’t getting jingly with it, according to Capt. Brian Hoover of the local Salvation Army, for whom the Christmas bells usually toll to the tune of $380,000 annually. A shortage of bell ringers means the metal in the kettle “will come about $10,000 short of what we did last year,” says Hoover, who blames the good economy for the shortage. As he notes to the PD, fast-food restaurants are hiring at $9 to $10 an hour, whereas the Petaluma Salvation Army pays bell ringers only $6.25 an hour before ringers subtract their “administrative fee” and “tips” from the kettles. To join the bell brigade, call 707/769-0718. No musical talent necessary. . . .

Saturday 12.16.00

The Associated Press reports that a pair of eco-evangelists has been stalking SUVs parked at Marin’s shopping malls and tagging them with bumper stickers that read: “I’m changing the environment! Ask me how!” Annoyed by the sport futility vehicles’ negative environmental impact, adhesive activists Robert Lind and Charles Dines see their sticker campaign as “a way to punish these people,” explains Lind. “They think their status trinket is more important than the environment we all share.” You can join the rebel alliance and get stickers at changingtheclimate.com.

Thursday 12.14.00

A woman who unsuccessfully tried to get a credit card at a Corte Madera Macy’s with someone else’s identification, gave officers the slip, which inspired a car chase after her accomplice throughout Marin County. The driver ditched his Landrover at an apartment complex and escaped into the rugged Ring Mountain Open Space Preserve. A search of the vehicle produced a small quantity of methamphetamine as well as pictures of the woman dressed in a Raiders cheerleader uniform. “She looks like she could be a cheerleader,” (ya think?) opined Officer Dan Jones, who is apparently renowned for his powers of observation.

From the December 21-27, 2000 issue of the Northern California Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Gadget Gifts

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Gadget Gifts

Gaga over Gadgets

Culinary doodads all the rage

By Paula Harris

FLICK THROUGH the slick 178-page Williams-Sonoma holiday catalog and it’s all there in mouthwatering glossy color–a myriad of fabulous (non-X-rated) toys for adults.

Wade through the professional cookie press, the Stilton cheese scoop, commercial cream whippers and yogurt makers, chiming waffle makers, egg coddlers, juice extractors, and the latest electric crepe makers.

Yup, the American appetite for kitchen doodads seems insatiable.

We buy culinary gadgets to peel garlic, spin-dry spinach, pit plums, shred Cheddar, fry fries, and slice bagels in less than the time it takes for Jacques and Julia to get into a TV cooking show spat.

The top sellers today are the kitchen workhorses, such as hand-held graters, peelers, and slicers, rather than trendy fads like electric hot-dog makers or the hot lava rock cooking stones of yesteryear.

And, according to an August report by the Arizona Republic, sales are at a record high as the gadget frenzy continues, with New York-based HomeWorld Business reporting that $840 million was spent on kitchen gadgets in 1999, a noteworthy increase of $65 million over the previous year.

Swing by local kitchen supply stores and the story is the same. Culinary gizmos are flying off the shelves and into holiday gift boxes and Christmas stockings.

Louise McCoy, owner of Santa Rosa-based McCoy’s Cookware, says sushi paraphernalia is a hot trend. Bestsellers are square and rectangle plates, small bowls, and chopsticks. That includes all manner of chopsticks, to be exact, in pale green, colonial blue, red, and black, some inlaid with ivory or silver, some adorned with dragonfly designs, and even a plain stainless-steel pair. Prices range from $3 to $20 for a fancy set with a ceramic stick rest. There are also sushi-making kits that include a bamboo rolling mat, a rice paddle, and (yes, don’t panic) instructions.

New this season is the Gastroflux from Bourgeat ($30). It may sound like an antacid, but McCoy describes these useful items as “flexible nonstick food-quality silicon molds.” What? “They’re molds for muffins and tartlets,” she explains with a laugh. “They’re so flexible, you can just pop ’em out and absolutely nothing sticks–not even gooey caramel.”

Also still popular this year is the Silpat ($24), a silicon cookie sheet that you place on top of a regular cookie sheet for more nonstick action. “Just wave it to get the crumbs off,” adds McCoy.

THE PROLIFERATION of TV chefs also is fueling the consumer mania over gadgets. You know when Martha Stewpot uses a certain gizmo on her show, that item is going to take off. “One of our best movers is the microplane zester,” says Laura Lewis, buyer at Shackfords kitchen store in Napa. “It’s like a woodworking tool, but it’s used for getting lemon zest and grating peel. Martha Stewart uses it on TV, and it sells like hotcakes.”

Culinary blowtorches to caramelize crème brûlée (they use refillable butane gas cylinders) are popular among the gourmet set (and fans of Flashdance). Their price range sfrom $29.99 to $49.99, depending on the model.

Another hot item (this time for those who don’t wish to be scorched and singed) is the Shakespearean-era washable suede/leather nonflammable oven mitt ($23), an armorlike adornment that resembles a gauntlet and provides amble protection up to the elbows.

Talking of kitchen accidents, a mandoline is always a good (and safe) idea for budding gourmets because it avoids the potential necessity for reconstructive surgery on the fingertips. This tool lets you swipe veggies across it (just like using your American Express card) to slice, shred, and julienne in comfort. Mandolines range from simple household ones ($33) to a professional model ($139).

Temperature forks–a thermometer in the shape of a barbecue fork, with heat sensors in the tips that give a digital readout to prepare perfect poultry, steaks, or roasts–are great for the barbecue or the oven at $27. Cool for Dad.

“Another new item that’s very popular is the heat-resistant spatula,” says Lewis. “It can withstand up to 600 degrees.” The spatula costs from $1.99 to $8.99 and come in bright colors like flame, yellow, and blue.

And for stocking stuffers, how about toasted bamboo mixing spoons ($3), which are a prettier color than naked bamboo and more durable since they don’t get fuzzy from the dishwasher like other wooden spoons.

Another idea is a reference cookbook, such as Michele Anna Jordan’s recently released A New Cook’s Tour of Sonoma (Sasquatch Books; $21.95) “It’s a very good index of Sonoma County producers, with accessible recipes,” pronounces McCoy.

Or for pure fun, McCoy has a selection of colorful ceramic cookie jars resembling purses from the 1940s ($29). Fill one with homemade goodies and you’re in business.

The items described are available at one or more of the following stores: Hardisty’s Homewares, 710 Farmers Lane, Santa Rosa (707/545-0534); McCoy’s Cookware, 2759 Fourth St., Santa Rosa (707/526-3856); Pots and Pans, 107 Fourth St., Santa Rosa (707/566-7155); and Shackfords, 1350 Main St., Napa (707/226-2132).

From the December 21-27, 2000 issue of the Northern California Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Wide-Eyed Gourmet

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Blunt truths behind the scene

By Marina Wolf

THE COUNTER is the lonely spot of the 24-hour restaurant, the wall of shame, the place where there is no getting away from the fact that you are alone, and you do not expect that to change over the course of your stay. This is where hollow-eyed men sit over their egg breakfasts at 11 at night and stare at the waitresses; where the waitresses sit during their too-short breaks and stare at the walls; where wide-eyed writers whose usual spots have been taken sit and stare at everybody else. We have all committed to eating in solitude.

Physically it has very little charm, this stretch of wood-grain counter that, like the free refills that slide across it, seems endless. It’s barely enough room for four diligent students, but a bunch of loud bikers who know the manager and like hanging out five minutes before closing time will fit there quite comfortably.

Actually, then, the counter-dweller isn’t alone as much as ignored, a ghost to all who pass. It’s true that being a ghost entails some inconveniences, like waiting forever to get a glass of water, but there are benefits, too. One can walk around behind the counter, for example, and pull out some of the day’s used newspapers while waiting for the glass of water that never comes.

The veil between the worlds is very thin here. At the counter one gets a glimpse of what really goes on in the world of food service. Nothing shocking, just demystifying, like Penn and Teller taking apart a magic trick. Here is visible the flotsam of normal restaurant flow, indicators of what should never be ordered here: the little-used stainless-steel gravy boat, wicker baskets for under the fish and chips. There are even some plastic-wrapped fortune cookies to go with the Asian chicken salad. If you look hard enough you can almost see the film of dust over those cookies.

This is the backstage, where behind the curtains, the waitresses’ cheerful smiles vanish into bitter thin lines, and the syrup is dispensed without ceremony from a spigot on a plugged-in canister marked, prosaically enough, “hot syrup.” From the counter one can see that the toaster oven is always left on, a magnificent display of indifference to matters of electricity usage. People want their toast now. When the toast burns, as it inevitably does, the smoke rises up like a spirit in a shaft of light from the recessed ceiling lights.

That’s about as spiritual as it gets over here. Otherwise, all the plain sides show. The chintzy sales-goal flyers, the screws that hold the pastel prints to the walls, the scuffs in the sides of the counter attesting to years of bumps and splashes. On the other side of the row of heat lamps bob the paper chef hats of the two cooks on duty. One hat is crisp and unwrinkled, another looks like a reused grocery bag, crumpled and then shaken out. I wonder if the workers have to buy these hats for themselves. The two heads are busy scraping, slapping, and banging cheap metal implements together in unknown, but vigorous activities, a counterpoint to the hum from the ventilation hoods that almost blocks out the pop tunes on the sound system.

The waitresses do side work back here, adding pepper to shakers from a one-pound bag of ground pepper, more than one person could ever use in a lifetime. They combine ketchup bottles, a slow and painstaking process that is better imagined than observed. The counter-dwellers get to see it all. It’s not a privilege, just a fact of the ghostly life.

From the December 14-20, 2000 issue of the Northern California Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

European Brews

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European Brews

Euro Brews

By Tom Butler

WINTER BEERS are a fairly new phenomenon stateside, but they have been a staple of European brewing for as long as beers have been brewed. Three distinct styles of winter brew are available to compare with the many domestic holiday brews. These beers raise the level of the art of beer making (and beer drinking) far beyond the ordinary to compare with fine wines.

Big, bold, and malty, English winter beers are probably the beer style that most people think of when they think of winter beer. J.W. Lees is a premium example of this style, with its strong, slightly sweet, and beautifully malty balance that is not only great for drinking now, but provides the strength of body necessary for laying down for several years like a fine wine. Taster and winemaker Rich Farnocchia states quite strongly, “Lay this one down next to your ’94 Cabernets.”

Fuller’s Old Winter Ale, a brew available on draft in many places throughout the Bay Area, is a truly classic winter ale with a perfect balance of malt and hops. If you take this brew and bottle-age it for a year (they did!), you wind up with Fuller’s Vintage Ale, a brew that perfectly exemplifies the quality, drinkability, and aging potential of high-end English ales. Fuller’s Vintage Ale–available in a beautiful red gift box–is the perfect example of English brewing art and a great gift for any real ale lover.

For two examples of the smoky style exemplified by Alaskan Smoked Porter, try Hecht Schlenferla Rauchbier and Special Rauchbier from Bamberg. Both of these brews, while slightly different in style, are big, round, smoke-filled brews that feel like sitting in front of a raging log fire while the snow pours down outside.

Three brews from Belgium provide interesting and unusual examples of holiday brewing that has been a Belgian tradition for hundreds of years.

Corsendonk Christmas contains a slight sweetness blended with the slightly sour note that is typical of the Belgian style of brewing. It is nicely balanced with a lingering finish.

With a gigantic flavor in a very light brew, N’ice Chouffe is an excellent example of what many of the lighter domestics are trying for without quite achieving it.

Finally, the pinnacle of Holiday beers, Scaldis Noël, comes in two sizes: a small bottle in brilliant blue wrapping that makes it look like a little Christmas present, and a large magnum size wrapped in red foil that grabs your full attention even before you pop the top. The smaller bottle provides a clean and bright flavor that one reviewer described as “savoring a fine cognac.” The magnum–an unfiltered version–is slightly sweeter and more malty than the small bottle. Both brews, more than any other available this season, reveal the true potential of the full reality of the brewer’s art.

Cheers.

From the December 14-20, 2000 issue of the Northern California Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

‘102 Dalmatians’

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A renowned doggie doc discusses inbreeding, high-strung puppies, and ‘102 Dalmatians’

Writer David Templeton takes interesting people to interesting movies in his ongoing quest for the ultimate post-film conversation. This is not a review; rather, it’s a freewheeling, tangential discussion of art, alternative ideas, and popular culture.

“Did you see the first movie, 101 Dalmatians?” I pose this question to Dr. Martin Goldstein shortly after seeing the aforementioned Disney film’s new sequel, 102 Dalmatians.

“No,” he emphatically replies. “No. I never saw it.”

“But you’ve seen the original animated version, of course,” I assume. “The 1961 version?”

After all, I am thinking, Goldstein is a veterinarian, and an outspoken fan of dogs. Surely the film had some influence on him as a young vet-to-be.

“No. Never saw that one either,” he says. After a well-timed beat, he adds, “Heh heh.”

He says it exactly like that. “Heh Heh,” as if to say, “What do you think of that?”

It is typical of Martin Goldstein–outspoken proponent of holistic medicinal practices for animals, and the best-selling author of The Nature of Animal Healing: The Definitive Holistic Medicine Guide to Caring For Your Dog and Cat (Ballantine; $16.00)–to take knowing delight in doing the unexpected.

For 25 years of veterinary practice, Goldstein has been an iconoclastic force within his profession, suggesting, among other things, that commercial pet foods, canned and dry, are creating widespread poor health among America’s cat and dog population. Goldstein suggests feeding real meat and grains to our canine and feline friends. He also has strong opinions on yearly vaccination–a practice he feels may be causing genetic damage.

Not every veterinarian agrees with Dr. Goldstein, yet his holistic approaches are becoming increasingly popular within the field. His book, recently released in paperback, has been embraced by legions of pet lovers and has surely inspired some very interesting conversations between dog and cat owners and their traditionally trained vets.

But enough of that: What did Goldstein think of his first Dalmatian movie?

“My first impression,” remarks the New York-based doctor, “was that this was a very pro-dog movie. Beyond that, what can I say? It was a cutesy little movie that happened to have a lot of dogs in it.”

It’s hard to argue with that summation.

Those who actually saw the first live-action film, of course, will know that Cruella de Vil (Glenn Close)–psychopath and high-fashion fancier of Dalmatian fur coats–has been serving a prison term for attempting to slaughter several dozen talking puppies.

In the new film, she is released from prison, seemingly reformed and newly committed to the welfare of put upon pooches. Before too long, of course–after a breakdown where she sees spots (black ones) everywhere–she’s got the itch all over again. Mayhem ensues. Dogs are threatened. People are hurt.

The nasty underbelly of the Dalmatian movies, of course, is what’s happened to all those little puppies that people ran out and bought for their kids after the first film was released back in 1996.

“Dalmatians became such a big fad after the first movie,” says Goldstein, “and so many of them ended up at the SPCA, and a lot of them were euthanized. I heard a lot about that at the time of the first movie. And I wasn’t surprised. The Dalmatian is not the best child’s dog.

“After being a veterinarian for 30 years,” he continues, “I would say the Dalmatian tends to be one of the snippier breeds of dogs. If someone said, ‘What dog would you classify as potentially the most aggressive and snappy to have around the house,’ I would put the Dalmatian pretty high up on the list.”

He’s warming up now.

“What I want to know,” says Goldstein, “is, what’s this movie’s obsession with purebreds? All the dogs in this movie, the Dalmatians and all the other breeds, where were all the mutts? I didn’t see any mutts. They were all purebreds.”

“You’re right. It was kind of snobbish, wasn’t it?” I say.

“Not only snobbish, but when you have breeders breeding a particular kind of animal, you are also breeding in a lot of problems,” Goldstein continues. “By which I mean all the things that go wrong genetically with so much in-breeding. Look at the kings of England, all the hemophiliacs and everything, all because of the in-breeding within the gene pool of the family.

“You can’t imagine how many times I’ve had people tell me,” Goldstein continues, “‘If only we’d just gotten a mutt, we’d have avoided so many problems!’ But people who could adopt great mutts from the pound–for little money and sometimes for free–would rather say, ‘Oh I want a Dalmatian,’ or ‘I want a Golden Retriever.’ A movie like this comes out and all of a sudden, Dalmatian breeders are breeding like crazy to satisfy the inevitable demand.”

“You know, mutts are my favorite pet,” I am encouraged to confess. “They’re the pickup truck of dogs, dependable and resilient.”

“Exactly,” Goldstein says. “Mutts are wonderful dogs. There are so many cats and dogs being put to sleep in this country, due to the overpopulation problem, and most of them are mutts, and here this film was kind of supporting the purebred dog, because that was all they showed.”

Our enthusiasm for dogs is building.

“I think the dog far surpasses the human race,” proposes Goldstein. “The dog is far above us. Imagine an animal that has bone tumors or serious leg fractures that couldn’t be repaired, where you tried to save the leg but you can’t, and you have to amputate the leg. In three days, that dog will be out wagging its tail, playing Frisbee. But take a leg off a human being and they’ll be in therapy for ten years.”

“I own three cats,” I am suddenly moved to announce. “But what I really want is a dog.”

But not a Dalmatian. I have kids. But what, exactly, is it that makes a Dalmatian so unsuitable?

“Dalmatians tend to be, shall we say, high strung,” Goldstein says. “And another thing. The Dalmatian is one of the breeds that have a congenital genetic problem that goes with them, and it’s the problem of deafness. All breeds have their thing: German Shepherds have hip dysplasia, Golden Retrievers tend to get cancer, and Dalmatians tend to be deaf.

“And let me tell you,” he continues. “If you take a high strung animal like a Dalmatian, and then you make it deaf, it’s only going to enhance its tendency toward being jumpy. Then you throw it in with some little kid who just saw 102 Dalmatians, who doesn’t understand why the dog isn’t responding to his baby talk, and starts poking and prodding the dog–it could be very bad for everyone involved.”

Clearly. And yet . . . “Don’t you wish the filmmakers had used all of this?” I ask. “Imagine a film with 100 high-strung talking dogs, all carping and complaining and being sarcastic, occasionally yelping, “What? What? I can’t hear you!” That could have been very entertaining.”

“It could,” Dr. Goldstein says. “There’s an idea for 103 Dalmatians.”

Heh Heh.

From the December 14-20, 2000 issue of the Northern California Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Spins

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Spins

Kuckoo’s Nest

Trent Reznor: Do not disturb

Nine Inch Nails Things Falling Apart (Nothing/Interscope)

POOR TRENT REZNOR. I’m a bit worried about him. He seems so very angry and conflicted. Let me explain. His newest CD–the title of which seems to suggest some subtle hidden meaning–is a collection of remixes. In other words, Mr. Reznor has taken songs from his last CD and reworked them through some sort of studio wizardry. Now that might sound like a very nifty, one might even say creative, thing to do. But doesn’t it indicate that Mr. Reznor may suffer from nagging self-doubt?

One thing is certain–clearly, he is a disturbed person.

For instance, the third song on this disc is titled “The Wretched.” You see what I mean? He is trying to tell us something, perhaps even crying out for help. On that particular song, Mr. Reznor makes angry noises with his guitar, a sound that is reminiscent of a buzz saw–not unlike those angry little bumble bees that assailed Agent Muldaur on that popular X-Files show–all the while shrieking in a most pained way that things are not the way he wants them to be.

I feel his pain.

This is a young man–well, not really so young anymore–who is having trouble with interpersonal relationships. I wonder if he has had a girlfriend in recent months. Perhaps he is lovesick. Or maybe his mama didn’t give him as much love as he craved as a child.

By now you’re asking, What can we do for Mr. Reznor?

I would like to suggest that if everyone who reads this newspaper purchases his new CD, then Mr. Reznor will be able to afford the kind of psychotherapy he may need so desperately. And if enough people around the world buy the disc and feel Mr. Reznor’s pain, then he might also be able to purchase prescription antidepressants (like those pretty little pink and lavender pills the pharmaceutical companies advertise on the X Files program). Won’t you help with Find Trent Reznor a Perceptive and Affordable Psychiatrist Campaign? Mary McMuffin

Paul Desmond Lemme Tell Ya ’bout Desmond: The Music of Paul Desmond (Label M)

HE WAS a lyrical genius, an alto saxophonist who sang sweetly. Like Stan Getz, jazzman Paul Desmond could blow “Cherokee” at lightning speed, but he soon settled into a much more subdued tempo. He possessed a melodic sense that seemed to run contrary to the hard bop of his peers but was no less hip. A San Francisco native, Desmond rose to fame as the reedman in Dave Brubeck’s renowned ensemble, lending his voice to such classics as “Take Five.” This welcome anthology from jazz producer Joel Dorn’s newest label draws ballads and bossa novas from several of Desmond’s solo recordings, spanning a period from 1961 to 1974. An all-star cast of sidemen includes guitarists Jim Hall and Gabor Szabo, baritone saxophonist Gerry Mulligan (heard on the dreamy “Stardust”), bassist Milt Hinton, and drummer Connie Kay. Smooth jazz the way it was meant to sound. Greg Cahill

From the December 14-20, 2000 issue of the Northern California Bohemian.

© Metro Publishing Inc.

Seasonal Wines

Buy the Bottle Wine gifts for discriminating tastes By Bob Johnson 'TIS THE SEASON, and you know what that means: searching, struggling, and stressing to find just the right gift for each person on your holiday list. If there's a wine lover on that list--and habitating in or near California's North...
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‘Unbreakable’

Supersurprise Training a b.s. detector on 'Unbreakable' Writer David Templeton takes interesting people to interesting movies in his ongoing quest for the ultimate post-film conversation. This is not a review; rather, it's a freewheeling, tangential discussion of art, alternative ideas, and popular culture. THE AMAZING Randi...
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Open Mic

Open Mic Off the Wall By Jacques Levy No university wants to be caught promoting revisionist history. Nor should Sonoma State students be subjected to such history at the entrance to their new Information Center. Unfortunately, that is just what the new Cesar Chavez mural promotes, as we learned from the...
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Spins

Rage On! Aggro-funk heavyweights issue best sides Rage Against the Machine Renegades (Epic) Rage Against the Machine's newly released swan song transcends its status as a record company rush job in the face of the popular rap-metal band's recent breakup. Though this poorly packaged set of hip-hop and...
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Newsgrinder

Important events as reported by daily newspapers and summarized by Daedalus Howell. Monday 12.18.00 Jack and Samantha top the list of the most popular names for babies delivered this year at Marin General Hospital in Greenbrae, reports the Marin Independent Journal. Other popular names for newborns were Baby-Jane-Doe.com, Baby-Jane-Doe.net, and Baby-Jane-Doe.org. With the Internet...
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Gadget Gifts

Gaga over Gadgets Culinary doodads all the rage By Paula Harris FLICK THROUGH the slick 178-page Williams-Sonoma holiday catalog and it's all there in mouthwatering glossy color--a myriad of fabulous (non-X-rated) toys for adults. Wade through the professional cookie press, the Stilton cheese scoop, commercial cream whippers...
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Wide-Eyed Gourmet

Blunt truths behind the scene By Marina Wolf THE COUNTER is the lonely spot of the 24-hour restaurant, the wall of shame, the place where there is no getting away from the fact that you are alone, and you do not expect that to change over the course of your stay. This is where hollow-eyed...
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European Brews

Euro Brews By Tom Butler WINTER BEERS are a fairly new phenomenon stateside, but they have been a staple of European brewing for as long as beers have been brewed. Three distinct styles of winter brew are available to compare with the many domestic holiday brews. These beers raise the level of the...
Read more

‘102 Dalmatians’

A renowned doggie doc discusses inbreeding, high-strung puppies, and '102 Dalmatians' Writer David Templeton takes interesting people to interesting movies in his ongoing quest for the ultimate post-film conversation. This is not a review; rather, it's a freewheeling, tangential discussion of art, alternative ideas, and popular culture. "Did you see the...
Read more

Spins

Kuckoo's Nest Trent Reznor: Do not disturb Nine Inch Nails Things Falling Apart (Nothing/Interscope) POOR TRENT REZNOR. I'm a bit worried about him. He seems so very angry and conflicted. Let me explain. His newest CD--the title of which seems to suggest some subtle hidden meaning--is...
Read more
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