The Regulator

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Ain’t no crime: Cutler Cellars specialized in humorous advertising, like this send-up of the Watergate hearings.

By Brett Ascarelli

On a quiet Tuesday afternoon in Sonoma, Lance Cutler sips from a small glass of Pilsner Urquell at the Sonoma Wine Exchange. He is wearing a yellow T-shirt with a drawing of a gorilla on it, advertising Guerrilla Vino, his homemade wine. Cutler’s ape is apt. After all, the 60-year-old former Gundlach Bundschu winemaker is a big believer in guerrilla tactics.

During the 1990s, he and some of his pals wanted to familiarize the public with Sonoma wines. Donning capes and masks, they hijacked the Napa Valley Wine Train, poured free wine for everyone and handed out pamphlets that enticed, “Come to Sonoma, where the wines are fine, the sampling is still free and the prices do not rob your children of a college education.” A few years later, he and his posse set their sights a bit higher, kidnapping Virgin Group’s CEO Richard Branson, along with Branson’s parents and two bus-loads of reporters, and redirecting them to Gun Bun.

For a man with the chutzpah to successfully pull off such feats, Cutler is surprisingly reserved on this day at the bar. Now that Sonoma wines have achieved renown, he almost timidly explains his newest guerrilla project.

Cutler wants to convince restaurants to carry affordable wines. He hopes to persuade eateries to offer at least one wine in every category on the wine list–red, white, sparkling and rosé–at under $30. Furthermore, he urges that at least 10 percent of the entire wine list be devoted to wines below $30. He also advocates setting corkage fees at $10 or less. He believes restaurants should state the name of their wine buyer on the menu, holding him or her accountable for the selections.

With his customary creative flair, Cutler has devised the Wine Patrol Approved List (WinePAL), a program designed to promote these goals. People can sign up on his website (www.winepatrol.com) to become WinePAL deputies. For a $5 fee, Cutler sends deputies a packet with an ID card and about 20 Wine Patrol cards. Deputies then leave the cards at restaurants that don’t conform to WinePAL standards. The cards politely state, “We have enjoyed your delicious food, attentive service and delightful ambiance–” before suggesting that the restaurant expand its wine list, with directions to the website for more details.

WinePAL is an outgrowth of Wine Patrol, which started in the late 1980s as a group of people in the wine industry who sought attention for Sonoma wines by performing amusing capers. Gundlach Bundschu, where Cutler worked as winemaker and general manager for 15 years until the mid-1990s, was one of the leaders of these efforts.

Depending on how you look at it, Cutler is either a Renaissance man or an eccentric. For the past dozen years or so, he has worked as writer (often under the pseudonym Jake Lorenzo), made a video on home winemaking and has also come out with a book, The Tequila Lover’s Guide to Mexico and Mezcal. He writes a monthly column for Wine Business magazine and is the winemaker for Relentless Vineyards, a small label that he owns with former baseball player Randy Staub. Ironically, Relentless wines, which have a cult following in New York restaurants, retail for roughly $50. Cutler admits, “I couldn’t afford to buy them.”

Cutler says he thought of the WinePAL idea after many years of feeling frustrated when going out to eat. Often, he says, the price of the wine exceeded the price of the meal at restaurants. “I live on a small income, and it costs $100 for me and my wife to eat out. Now two dinners out is a ticket to New Orleans.” (Cutler has helped build houses for people in New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina, and has been officially recognized as an honorary citizen of the town.)

So far, about 150 people from all over the country have registered as WinePAL deputies, and Cutler says that he has personally left at least a dozen cards at restaurants since he started the program.

He hasn’t seen many results yet, though he has met some backlash from the restaurant industry, who see the WinePAL program as antagonistic. Restaurateurs have written to Cutler, complaining that he lacks understanding of how the industry works economically.

For many restaurants, it’s hard to make a profit on only the price of meals, because they expend so much money on food, labor and upkeep. Often, the only real chance to make a profit is through alcohol sales, so it’s customary to mark up wine prices. In the most extreme cases, this means charging up to five times the wholesale cost.

But Cutler, who writes back individually to those who contest him, is clear that he doesn’t want restaurants to lower their wine prices; he just wants them to offer a more diverse range of wines, including some excellent wines priced for customers with smaller pockets. “My real gripe is not on the markup, but that restaurants don’t make the effort to look for delicious wines priced for me,” he says.

Trying another approach, Cutler recently decided to expand the WinePAL program in a way that restaurants might be more likely to welcome. Instead of slapping the WinePAL deputy card on restaurants that don’t conform to the democratic demands of WinePAL, the new branch of the program awards restaurants that take a more populist approach to vino. “I’m trying to get restaurants to understand that this is not combative. The certificates are something that look nice and that restaurants can hang up on the wall.”

Today, Cutler is awarding the first WinePAL certificate. It won’t be a surprise, since he has prearranged an appointment with the soon-to-be recipient. Finishing his beer, Cutler urges his slower quaffing guest, “Let’s try to go in the next five minutes. I hate to keep restaurant people waiting.”

When Cutler arrives at Deuce, an inviting art nouveau affair a few blocks from the town center of Sonoma, the owner is sitting at the bar about to begin his lunch. Peter and Kirsten Stewart have owned Deuce for eight years and serve a menu of tantalizing New American cuisine, including artichoke mint ricotta ravioli with truffled brown butter, a lobster club sandwich on toasted brioche and roasted prosciutto-wrapped scallops.

Cutler hands Peter Stewart the handsome certificate, which recognizes Deuce for meeting WinePAL’s requirements. Stewart exclaims how nice it looks; Cutler decided to have it framed, which he warns will not be the case in the future because of the cost.

Deuce carries roughly 170 wines, running the gamut from $16 for Kenwood Red, to $160 for the 2001 Cakebread Cabernet Sauvignon. The Stewarts, who select most of the wines personally, generally restrict the wine markup to roughly 2.2 times the wholesale price of the bottle. (According to Wine Spectator, markups between 2 and 2.5 times cost are considered below normal.)

In the cool wine cellar, Peter Stewart explains why he feels strongly about the way he prices his wines. “I think it’s just good customer service, having a good range of product. That’s what I want when I go out,” he says. “Wine and food prices need to jibe,” he continues, citing that some restaurants have wine lists that are too grandiose for the food they serve. That’s a real turn off for the Stewarts, who normally try to order off the wine list when they dine out. Kirsten Stewart says, “We strive really hard to strike a balance and have a handpicked list.”

The effort seems to work. Cutler says appreciatively, “So few people are doing this.”



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Soul Food

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September 27-October 3, 2006

Boho Awards 2006:

‘You’re talking to someone who never had a music lesson in her life and who can’t carry a tune, but was raised in a family where chamber music was played in the living room at family gatherings.”

So explains Kit Neustadter, the tireless promoter of classical music and the longtime director of Occidental’s 26-year-old Redwood Arts Council, the quizzically titled organization that produces West Sonoma County’s longest-running chamber music series. Named over a quarter-century ago for what was to have been an umbrella institution supporting an array of arts and artists, the Redwood Arts Council’s one great success has been its music series.

The name stuck even though it suggests something more than a beloved, remarkably successful string of world-class concerts featuring musicians from all around the world performing in downtown Occidental. For Neustadter, who recently spent the evening with a team of eight music-loving volunteers stuffing, labeling, sticking and otherwise preparing over 150 pounds of flyers, posters and brochures, the Redwood Arts Council is a true labor of love, inspired by her lifelong love of music.

“As a kid growing up in Cleveland and St. Louis, there was always chamber music,” she says. “When one of my uncles would perform on the violin, I’d end up sitting on the floor with the dogs and the other kids, listening to this wonderful music. I grew to like it, and even as a teenager, instead of going to the mall, all the teenagers in my family would gather at someone’s home and listen to chamber music.”

Growing up among musicians–musicians who knew some of the great players and composers, and often had them over for dinner and a recital–Neustadter took a stab at learning the recorder, but realized that she was better off as a supporter and fan than as an actual musician. “I never really got the recorder,” she laughs. “I still can’t get a low C on the thing.”

In 1980, working with Council cofounder Janet Green, she launched an ambitious 15-show chamber music series using the acoustically rich, 130-year-old Occidental Community Church as a setting. It soon became a fixture of that small town’s cultural life, and eventually began to draw music fans from all around the county and beyond.

The current series, which began last weekend with a concert by the violin-mandolin ensemble Galanterie, will feature a total of nine concerts this year, including performances by the multinational Nobilis Trio, the excitingly contemporary Euclid String Quartet and North Bay master harpist Patrick Ball. Over the years, the series has become more than just an entertaining novelty; it has served as a launching pad for many novice groups, even hosting the now world-renowned Kronos Quartet back when the modern ensemble were still performing Beethoven.

Green eventually left the Redwood Arts Council to pursue other projects, but rather than abandon the mighty little organization, Neustadter elected to forge ahead on her own, with the help of a dedicated group of volunteers. “I couldn’t let it go,” she says. “How could I? It’s just such a wonderful thing to be a part of.”

While allowing that selecting, hiring, promoting, hosting and even feeding dozens of internationally assorted musicians each year is a stupefying amount of work, Neustadter says she always remembers why she does it whenever the latest ensemble or soloist sits down and begins to play.

“I love the concerts!” she says. “I used to joke that I do all this just so I can have these great, intimate concerts in my own town instead of having to drive to San Francisco to hear a concert in a giant concert hall. I get a rush from every single concert we produce.”

Aside from the personal benefits of having beautiful music played in her virtual front yard, Neustadter says she is motivated to keep going by her belief that chamber music, performed up close in an intimate setting by magnificent performers, can be a life-changing, life-enriching experience.

“Sometimes I wonder how all of this measures up to the kinds of things I could be doing with my life,” she muses. “I could be making sure that our environment doesn’t turn to complete poison or working to get us out of the war in Iraq or seeing to it that starving people get food, and sometimes I feel a little guilty. Then I hear the music and see the faces of the audiences listening, and I remember that the soul needs nourishment too. That’s why I do what I do–because music really does transform and feed the soul. And I’m lucky that I get to be a part of that.”

–David Templeton


Cozy Laboratory

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September 27-October 3, 2006

Boho Awards 2006:

One recent foggy afternoon at the Marin Headlands Center for the Arts (HCA), an intern was running around setting up AV equipment in the former military barrack. He and a seasoned staff member were preparing for a draft of sorts. The next day, a jury was to converge to discuss who would win admission to the organization’s prestigious artist residency program for 2007. The program is highly selective; of 600 applicants from all over the world, only some 40 will be invited into the program.

The HCA is lodged in a handsome grouping of nine former military barracks that once composed Fort Barry on the majestic, windswept coast of the Marin Headlands. It’s about 15 minutes and one light-year away from the bustle of San Francisco. The moment one emerges from a one-lane tunnel off of Highway 101, a veil of thick mist blankets the dunes.

During the ’80s and ’90s, the HCA commissioned some of its barracks to be creatively renovated by respected contemporary artists: David Ireland, Ann Hamilton, Leonard Hunter and architect Mark Mack. There’s even an award-winning unisex latrine, complete with a Duchampian row of nonfunctional urinals, standing like sentries against the wall. Time seems to tick slowly at HCA, as if impeded by the dense fog, which executive director Gary Sangster likens to what one would find in Scotland. Another employee suggests that the HCA has a kind of magic about it. Truly, the wooly cloud seems to create a whole other world–a cradle for artists percolating ideas.

More than 700 creative minds have come through the HCA’s residency program since it was founded by local artists in 1987. Among the residents have been seminal American figures, including Sonoma County artist Ned Kahn, the Foundry dance company and urban-inspired creator Julie Mehretu, who last year won a MacArthur “genius” Fellowship (the fourth HCA alum, Kahn included, to do so).

Although the residencies are wildly difficult to land–a third of them exclusively reserved for California artists–the HCA conducts an array of other programs, maximizing itself as a resource for the local and extended community. It runs educational programs, providing artist talks, conducting open houses and allowing frequent public interaction with a selected artist each session. There are also studios for newly minted MFA artists, an affiliate artist program with subsidized studio rent, and even “Close Calls,” an annual exhibit highlighting the work of artists who almost, but didn’t quite, make it into the residency program.

The HCA is a unique organization, prioritizing not art production but, rather, artistic process and reflection. Unlike many residency programs, no formal product is required of the artists, who usually stay in residency for between one and three months; experimentation is highly encouraged, whatever the results. Sangster explains: “Failure is the difference between what you set out to find and what you do find. It’s not negative.”

One prime way the HCA facilitates innovation is by providing a social environment for resident artists to emerge from their on-site studios and exchange ideas. Five nights a week, everyone dines together in the cozy mess hall/kitchen, renovated by noteworthy contemporary artist Ann Hamilton. The mess hall features two hearths: one, a mammoth wood-burning stove where fresh bread is baked twice a week; the other, a more decorative masonry stove imported from Northern Europe.

The chipper young chef, Katie Powers, concocts organic, gourmet dinners. On this early afternoon, she has already started preparing dinner in the warm kitchen, planning to serve wild salmon with ProvenÁal tomato, fennel and saffron broth and basil aioli; mixed greens with Easter egg radishes, shaved Parmesan and sherry vinegar; and Calvados-roasted pears and almonds with whipped mascarpone.

Making tea in the kitchen is one of the artists-in-residence, Christian Maychack, 33. He arrived the day before, and is already hard at work on a sculpture due soon for the California Biennial in Orange County. The baby-faced Maychack says, “I think there’s a summer-camp feel to this place, because you can let your guard down.”

How about a very intellectual, creative, sophisticated summer camp. The only bug juice you’d find here would be part of an art project.

–Brett Ascarelli


Vision Accomplished

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September 27-October 3, 2006

Boho Awards 2006:

Margrit Biever Mondavi, the first lady of Napa arts patronage, cuts a tiny figure in the airy art gallery at Robert Mondavi Winery. On a recent late summer day, she conferred with photographer Terence Ford (Harrison’s brother) and a friend of his as the two men picked her brain about how best to arrange an upcoming exhibit of Ford’s photographs. Mrs. Mondavi, who practiced art for many years herself, considers before admitting that she has no easy answer. “It is a very hard thing to hang a show,” she says.

She should know, having curated dozens of rotating exhibitions at the winery by such important 20th-century artists as Wayne Thiebaud, Richard Diebenkorn and Helen Frankenthaler over the past 20-odd years.

Mrs. Mondavi has been a dynamic fixture at the winery since 1967, and seems quite comfortable keeping up her ambitious pace, particularly as the winery celebrates its 40th anniversary this year with a series of events. She has not only built the Robert Mondavi Winery’s reputation as a welcoming home for the arts, but has also set that relationship as a standard for other area wineries.

Usually referred to simply as Margrit (pronounced “Margaret”) by most who know her, one can’t help but write about her as “Mrs. Mondavi.” It’s not that she herself is formal, but rather that her gravitas demands extra respect. That said, her vibrancy is down-to-earth and warm. For this interview, she pulls her chair up very close, her voice undulating with excitement as she explains the start of the famous Great Chefs series, only one of a host of pioneering arts contributions she has made in almost four decades of working with her husband at their winery. Her chefs series brought luminaries such as Julia Child, Alice Waters, Simone Beck and Wolfgang Puck to the winery’s kitchen over the course of the last 30 years.

Leaning forward in her chair, Mrs. Mondavi explains that her husband had always wanted a food and wine program. “Wine and food is a natural,” she says. But at first, there was no great American cuisine. Elaborating on the Dark Ages of American culinary arts, she says, “The advent of the freezer meant that you could have people over and do nothing–just serve last week’s frozen lasagna and cut up a little lettuce. There was no cooking.” Naturellement, the first chefs of the series were all French. Finally, a few years into the program, America started developing its own great chefs, who were invited to participate in the series.

“I was deeply involved in what they were doing,” says Mrs. Mondavi, who translated for many of the chefs who didn’t speak English (she speaks six languages, including household Japanese). “But I had to listen carefully, because they knew when I translated something the wrong way,” she says. How did it feel to interact with the likes of Jean Troisgros, Marcella Hazan, Thomas Keller and Jacques Pépin? “When you’re in the presence of genius–it’s extraordinary,” she says simply.

Mrs. Mondavi grew up during World War II in a village near Locarno, in the Italian-speaking region of Switzerland. “My mother cooked like an angel,” she says, adding that “sardines were the only thing that weren’t rationed. My mother would trade her soul for butter.” When asked what her favorite dish was that her mother used to cook, Mrs. Mondavi’s large blue eyes look distant. “Everything!” she exclaims. After a moment she adds, “I have never had chicken as good.”

Three years ago, Mrs. Mondavi collaborated with her own daughter, Annie Roberts, who served as the winery’s executive chef for 27 years, to write Annie and Margrit: Recipes and Stories from the Robert Mondavi Kitchen.

Beyond the culinary arts, Mrs. Mondavi has orchestrated the winery’s famously successful Summer Festival music series. She threw the first one in 1969, just three years after the winery began. “We borrowed the chairs from the church and a portable stage from the local high school,” she recalls. Since then, such luminaries as Ella Fitzgerald, Gladys Knight, Ray Charles and Benny Goodman have taken the stage (the winery has its own now). The festivals have raised some $2 million, benefiting community organizations, in particular the Napa Valley Symphony.

Mrs. Mondavi has donated generously to the restoration of the Napa Valley Opera House, where a theater is named in her honor. She and her husband also recently built the eponymous, state-of-the-art performing arts center at UC Davis, and this summer she launched the innovative Taste3 food, wine and art conference at COPIA.

But Mrs. Mondavi doesn’t just support the arts, she understands them. She says that her husband has often wished that he could be an artist in his next life, telling her, “As an artist, you can do what you want; express yourself.” But she quips with savvy, “You ain’t got any idea about what it’s like to be an artist. Often you have to fit a mold. It’s not as free as you think it is.”

Her candid and subtle grasp of the creative struggle make Mrs. Mondavi a truly perfect patron of the arts.

–Brett Ascarelli


Expression for Expression’s Sake

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September 20-26, 2006

Jeremy Burleson is a 25-year-old autistic man who speaks very little. When he does talk, it’s mostly about Scotch tape. Calling it “white art plastic,” Burleson uses the tape in conjunction with good, stiff paper to create oversized syringes, foldable hospital beds, those bright standing lamps necessary for surgery, and the medicine vials, long needles, stethoscopes and crutches of the emergency room. In short, Burleson uses tape and paper to create art.

A client at Richmond’s NIAD Art Center, Burleson is one of 10 so-called outsider artists whose work is currently on show at the Sonoma Valley Museum of Art. Titled “Outsider Art: The Creative Necessity,” the exhibit brings together NIAD clients with short biographical sketches and a rich handful of their work. In Burleson’s case, a small room has been erected against the museum’s wall to allow visitors to step inside his installation of a hospital room, an alcove guarded by an oversized mobile the young man has solely strung with tape-and-paper syringes that move slowly in the room’s air-conditioned gloom.

Both slightly creepy and emphatically beautiful, Burleson’s work is singular, obsessive, inward and uniquely personal. He spent much time in the hospital as a boy. His ability to deftly sculpt medical objects from homely materials is powerful. Like NIAD’s other clients, this artist is also so profoundly disabled that he is, in the words of the center’s executive director Pat Coleman, “unemployable in the mainstream business world.”

Outsider art, an elastic term that mostly applies to art created by those who are developmentally disabled, is enjoying its second contiguous decade of vogue. Initially popularized in the first half of the 20th century as “art brut” (“raw art”) by French artist Jean Dubuffet–who primarily admired the art of patients in insane asylums as well as that of young children–“outsider” art became the preferred English term in the 1970s and the preferred American must-see exhibit of the 1990s.

Outsider art is generally characterized by a free use of color, such reiterated ideas as devotion to a single object’s form, childlike lettering and–as with Jeremy Burleson or NIAD client Willie Harris, who paints the same house-as-face portrait every day–an extremely personal vision. Nondevelopmentally disabled viewers often appreciate the freshness of the art, its lack of calculation and pretense, its presentation wholly uninformed by art training, art-world aspirations or art history itself.

And indeed, wandering “The Creative Necessity” show at the SVMA, one is continuously struck by the caliber of the work. Or, rather, one is continuously calibrating the value of the work, a trickier proposition. Willie Harris’ Untitled (Red & Green) could be a proud and highly priced addition to any gallery’s wall; Beverly “Bubba” Trieber’s found-object assemblage panel Eisenhower finds a rhythm in material and texture that could make Rauschenberg weep.

But if the 85-year-old Trieber is unaware of such as Rauschenberg and the gallery world itself, is it fair to view his work in such a context? If not, how does a viewer shed his or her own sense of context and appreciate the work in a solely formal manner, giving no thought beyond color, surface, form and integration?

Michael Schwager, professor of art history and museum studies at Sonoma State University and the curator of Napa’s di Rosa Preserve, appreciates the conundrum, comparing the work of developmentally disabled artists to those crafts created to honor the earth’s magic.

“When you look at Native American artifacts, we see them as isolated,” Schwager says by phone from his university office. “They are often ceremonial artifacts. They’re meant to be used and kept private when they’re not used. [With outsider artists,] we’re seeing this private expression, the 10,000 lines on the head of a pin, and we’re judging it on the traditional aesthetics that a [trained] artist would use in sitting down and working out a strategy. I don’t think that these artists work in this same way, but it’s hard not to judge them within that construct.”

To that end, Schwager notes that many museums and other collecting institutions that showcase outsider artists don’t allow the work to travel separately. “Outsider art is a topic when people are moving from one construct to another,” he explains. “You take it from one room to another, and suddenly the artists become art-world stars and don’t even know it. The artist wants you to see what he sees in his head, and you’re riffing on how incredibly Paul Klee-like it is. Outside of context, the work shouldn’t make sense, because then we’re voyeurs, looking at the work for our own devices.”

There’s a certain shudder associated with that, as though admiring and enjoying an artist’s work isn’t a good enough goal on its own. One must be able to separate formal concerns from emotional knowledge. Schwager assures that not everything in this world is that hard.

“If people are working towards a goal of making art and they find an audience, that’s a good thing,” he says. “All artists reach into their private life and put it down for other people to see. The fact that they put it down on canvas, on paper or make an object means that they want us to see it.

“Perhaps we’re completing the circle by doing that.”

‘Outsider Art: The Creative Necessity’ continues at the Sonoma Valley Museum of Art through Oct. 22. Gallery hours are Thursday-Sunday, 11am to 5pm. 551 Broadway, Sonoma. 707.939.SVMA. Becoming Independent’s ‘The Bug Show’ exhibits at the Quicksilver Mine Co. Sept. 23 through Oct. 29 and opens with a public reception on Saturday, Sept. 23, from 4pm to 6pm. Gallery hours are Thursday-Monday, 11am to 6pm. 6671 Front St., Forestville. 707.887.0799.


Museums and gallery notes.

Reviews of new book releases.

Reviews and previews of new plays, operas and symphony performances.

Reviews and previews of new dance performances and events.

Ask Sydney

September 20-26, 2006

Dear Sydney, OK, I know this sounds sexist, and I don’t mean it to be, but I have been observing something for many years, and I don’t get it. Many men don’t really chew their food. The first time I noticed this was when I was dating a man in college and we were getting pretty serious, talk of marriage and all. We loved to go out to breakfast together, but this morning we were in a hurry. When the food came, I looked down long enough to spread jam on my toast, and when I looked up, he was done. I had not taken one bite. It was very disturbing to me! At the time, I felt somehow less than, unable to compete, puzzled by the phenomenon. It made me feel separate from him. Suddenly our breakfast ritual was tainted forever.

Over the years, I have made a small study observing this and I have to say that in many cases three chews per bite is the extent of their effort. Can you help me understand this? Are men and women physiologically so different? Is it a throwback to some primitive part of ourselves that men have just held on to longer than women? Do men have an ability to digest whole unchewed mouthfuls of food and women don’t? Is there any correlation between this style of eating and the big guts that many men seem to have? Please, I would appreciate your insights.–Men Don’t Chew

Dear Chewy: Are you saying that you decided not to marry a guy because he ate too fast? Well, we’ll save that for another day and not stray from your essential point, which seems to be this: Why do men not chew their food? The men who have no doubt inadvertently taken part in your study must chew their food. If they didn’t chew their food at all, they would choke. They just aren’t chewing it as much as you would like, which means you believe that there is a certain number of times one should chew one’s food, and if one does not do so, one is being disgusting and in poor taste. But, clearly, the men you have observed feel as if they are chewing exactly as many times as needed in order to swallow and digest safely. You see, it’s subjective.

In my experience, men who eat in a fast and wolfing manner have often just completed, or are about to complete, some level of hard physical exertion. I must say that my own ability to wolf down food without the need for any genuine cardio to back it up is far more disturbing to me then any particular male’s lack of interest in thorough mastication. As for the big guts, you obviously do not have a big ass, or you would never, ever risk asking a question like that.

Dear Sydney, after over a decade of struggle, I find myself divorced and ready to create the life I want. It seems, however, that I have more interests than a healthy lifestyle can sustain. I am struggling to find balance, and my family life, or what’s left of it, is suffering. How does a single mom prioritize among raising a child, working, and having a spiritual, political, creative and social life–not to mention finding space for a love life? Am I missing something, or is it time to lose something?–Overly Interested

Dear O.I.: Everyone is too busy these days; it’s a national epidemic. Even our children are too busy. But, hey, at least we don’t have to spend all day foraging for food. You are fortunate to have the space and energy to consider so many wonderful options. What a gift to be able to crave and actually try and pursue so much! This is called evolution, and I salute your intelligence and fascination for life.

Of course, you can’t do everything all of the time, so make a list that you pin to the fridge. I can start it for you: 1. Child. Now you finish the rest of the list. Then, when you get up in the morning, look at it, and spend just a moment considering what number two will be for you today. (Sorry, but child is always number one; the only way to change that is to get rid of the kid.) If you can get to the first two things on your list every day, you are doing pretty damn well.

In a day with only 24 hours, where it takes most of our time just to make enough money to keep a roof over our heads, a running car and food on the table, our passions are kind of like extracurricular sports–you can only do so many at a time. That’s why there are seasons. What season is it going to be for you?

Dear Sydney, I have been married for almost 25 years. My husband and I have three awesome kids, the oldest of whom we just sent off to college. I have a beautiful home and am well-provided for. Recently, after 18 years of being a stay-at-home mom, I went back to work as the secretary at my youngest son’s school. I am on the verge of having an affair with the principal, 10 years my junior. My husband and I have a great sex life, but I’m tired of the ways he doesn’t honor who I am and cannot talk with me about things that are important to me. Do I pitch it all in? What should I do? I am . . .–On the Verge.

Dear Verging: You’ve made it this far, which is way better then most, why ruin it now? You’re well-provided for, you have great sex, your kids are on their way to college, and you want to throw it all away for some hottie principal? That said, anyone who thinks they are above ever having an affair just hasn’t met the right principal yet. The question is, now that you have met yours, what in the hell are you going to do with him? Fuck first and think later? I suggest you do not.

If you made a commitment to be monogamous with your husband, then deal with that relationship first. If you feel he doesn’t honor you and won’t talk to you about the things that really matter, then deal with it. Don’t you think that your stud-muffin principal will develop some unattractive characteristics after, say, you spent 25 years with him? So for now, keep Mr. Principal in your fantasies. If he just doesn’t go away, then break up with your husband, move out and then pursue the affair. Of course, passion does not listen to rationality, so may I just remind you that it is a dangerous world out there, and even young principals can have a little bad luck, so use a condom.

No question too big, too small or too off-the-wall.


The Byrne Report

September 20-26, 2006

Sonoma County’s most famous resident, Jack London, wrote a prescient novel in 1907: The Iron Heel. The politically perceptive London, who lived in the hills outside Glen Ellen, fictionalized a 300-year revolutionary war to rescue America from the oligarchy as masterminded by fighters with headquarters in the North Bay. On the run from armies of the Black Hundreds (misguided workers supporting corporate paymasters), London’s socialist heroes row past Alcatraz. “Swept on by a flood tide and a fresh wind, we crossed San Pablo Bay in two hours and ran up the Petaluma Creek.”

Radical politics were imported to Petaluma by immigrant Jewish communist chicken farmers early in the last century. And on Sunday, Sept. 24, the wisdom of Petaluma’s founding fomenters coincides with current necessity once again, as the annual Progressive Festival struts its rhetorical wares at Walnut Park. In addition to dances from the Grassroots Movement and music by the Francisco Herrera Band, Sonoma State University sociology professor Peter Phillips will speak on the topic, “Impeach the President.”

How timely. I just bought a copy of the Center for Constitutional Right’s Articles of Impeachment against George W. Bush. The Center lays out the legal basis for impeaching Bush: high crimes and misdemeanors.

Article One: Violated the Constitution by authorizing the National Security Agency to spy on Americans without court warrants.

Article Two: Committed fraud against the United States by lying to and intentionally misleading Congress about the reasons for the Iraq war.

Article Three: Incarcerated citizens and non-citizens without due process of law; condoned torture; and undermined the Constitution’s separation of powers.

Article Four: Formally declared his intent to violate laws enacted by Congress (and did so).

Unfortunately, even if the lame-o Democrats take over Congress this fall, I doubt they will screw up the courage to impeach Bush. If Democratic legislators had any intention of thwarting the rise of Judeo-Christo-fascism, they would already be staging sit-ins inside the Capitol Building and stopping our corporativized Congress from cheering as Rumsfeld and Rice incinerate ever more mosques and babies in the Middle East.

In The Iron Heel, London quotes Abraham Lincoln just before he was shot as saying, “Corporations have been enthroned, an era of corruption in high places will follow, and the money-power of the country will endeavor to prolong its reign working upon the prejudices of the people until the wealth is aggregated into a few hands and the Republic is destroyed.”

Foreshadowing the philosophy that runs America today, London notes that businessmen have “resurrected the divine right of kings–commercial kings, in their case.”

London’s protagonist, Ernest Everhard, warns a gathering of plutocrats: “And in the day that we sweep to victory at the ballot-box, and you refuse to turn over to us the government we have constitutionally and peacefully captured, and you demand what we are going to do about it–in that day, I say, we shall answer you; and in the roar of shell and shrapnel and whine of machine guns shall, our answer be couched.”

Unfortunately, proletarian victory turns out to be elusive. After the plutocrats kill the public school system, the workers of America call for a general strike and temporarily diminish capitalist profits. In response, the plutocrats transform into oligarchs, who casually mow down the laboring masses with machine guns while mobilizing the media as a weapon and terrorism as a medium of persuasion. Foreseeing the partisan “reporting” of our day, Everhard remarks, “The press of the United States? It is a parasitic growth that battens on the capitalist class. Its function is to serve the established by molding public opinion, and right well it serves it.”

But London is confident that the requirements of biological and sociological evolution will result in humans freeing ourselves, albeit painfully, from the criminal rule of the “combinations and trusts.” Compassion and rational economics will replace the brutal incompetence of monopoly capitalism.

But don’t rely only upon London for an analysis of necessity. Think about President Dwight Eisenhower’s warning that American democracy even then was being subverted by the military industrial complex. And think about the Walt Disney Co.’s ABC hiring of Republican Thomas H. Kean, who headed the 9-11 Commission, to produce its falsified docudrama about 9-11, and what that means about the credibility of his commission. Think about how immigrants are demonized as the plutocracy prepares to become the oligarchy by nullifying the Constitution.

If impeached, Bush might unleash his Black Hundreds drawn, London writes, from “the labor castes and the great hordes of secret agents and police of all sorts pledged to the oligarchy.” If so, watch out, progressives of Petaluma.

Indefinite detention is designed for dissidents of all stripes.

or


Low-Power Revolution

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September 20-26, 2006


It’s about 5 o’clock on a warm summer afternoon in Guerneville, and John Chapman is keeping time to the reggae song “Soothe Your Soul” while adjusting the sound for his weekly talk show, Touch.

A middle-aged man on the hefty side, with glasses and a headful of long braids, he is a big presence in the tiny converted broom closet that serves as a studio for KGGV-LP, 95.1-FM, the first low-power radio station to reach the airwaves in Sonoma County.

Once his theme song has concluded, Chapman launches into a reading from an Internet blogger, the Shadow, a taxi driver who describes his encounter with a soldier returning from Iraq. The soldier, it turns out, was looking to score some crack.

After the reading, Chapman, who uses the broadcast name Milo, begins talking about his dad, who fought in Vietnam, and his nephew, a veteran of the U.S. invasion of Iraq. “Now [the returning soldiers] are killers because they are being told not to trust anyone [in Iraq],” Chapman says.

He invites listeners to call in with their opinions, but when nobody responds, he is ready with another downloaded editorial, this time about the Middle East.

Segueing into a discussion about the Israeli assault against Lebanon and the Israeli/Palestinian conflict, he displays an impressive knowledge of the history of the Jews in Europe and their expulsion from Judea by the Romans thousands of years ago.

Chapman is one of about 30 volunteer DJs who host an eclectic variety of radio shows on a station whose 50-watt transmitter allows it to reach from Forestville to Cazadero, not counting some low-lying pockets between the ranges of hills. He has never hosted a radio show before, but he has clearly been doing his prep work for a long, long time.

KGGV has been on the air since late March, when it debuted with a live broadcast from a home expo in the Guerneville School multipurpose room, and it is already becoming an institution in the lower Russian River.

The Guerneville Community Church, a United Church of Christ congregation, holds the station’s license and broadcasts church services every Sunday but otherwise doesn’t involve itself in programming. The broom closet that houses the station’s studio is at the church, spitting distance from the cyclone fence that separates the church property from the school playground. The antenna sits atop a redwood tree in the church’s parking lot and the transmitter is in a cabinet.

Kit Mariah, one of a handful of volunteers who runs the station, said the costs for setting it up included $2,000 for an antenna, $2,000 for turning the closet into a sound studio and another $2,000 for an Emergency Alert System decoder. The Russian River Redevelopment Area paid for the decoder. Most of the station’s equipment was donated. It would have cost about $8,000 to $10,000 if the station had purchased it new.

High Spark of Low Power

Guerneville is one of three Sonoma County locations where civic-minded professional broadcaster Randy Wells determined there was the right combination of factors for a low-power station. That includes enough empty space on the FM band to allow it to slip between the public and commercial radio stations that crowd the FM band. Created by the Federal Communications Commission (FCC) in 2000 as a new class of radio, low-power FM (LPFM) is the latest wrinkle in the ongoing effort to establish community radio stations that are operated by and for the people who live in the communities.

In many ways, LPFM is like any other noncommercial radio station, but there are some special requirements that set it apart. Low-power stations are limited to a maximum of 100 watts at their transmitter, hence the name. And they are not allowed to employ additional transmitters or translators. The elevation of the single transmitter and antenna is also regulated, and the broadcasting station must be within 10 miles of the transmitter.

They can receive a license for any available FM frequency in their area, but they must not interfere with three frequencies on either side of their own. Frequencies skip every other number, so that means KGGV at 95.1 can’t interfere with stations from 94.5 to 95.7. This is known as “third adjacent.”

There are also eligibility requirements for license holders. They must be nonprofit educational organizations, nonprofits with an educational purpose–which is broadly defined–or government or public agencies, boards or institutions. No organization can hold more than one LPFM license, nor can the license be transferred or sold. Only organizations that have never broadcast before can apply.

The purpose of all these regulations is to keep LPFM stations small and grassroots, the opposite of the majority of commercial stations, as well as the public radio networks such as National Public Radio.

Pirate Waves

LPFM, in many ways, is a legal form of free radio or pirate radio, a phenomenon that blossomed in the 1980s and 1990s in response to two events: a 1978 law that eliminated low-power class D noncommercial licenses and the consolidation of commercial FM stations.

In 1993, free radio icon Stephen Dunifer turned the spate of scattered pirate stations into a movement when he founded Free Radio Berkeley and declared that the FCC had no right to parcel out licenses because the airwaves can’t be owned.

Five years later, the FCC shut down Free Radio Berkeley and confiscated its equipment, so the station now devotes itself to running workshops for would-be free radio broadcasters and selling do-it-yourself transmitter kits. This summer, Dunifer was in Lima, Peru, running a five-day workshop for community activists in that city’s barrios. This month, he is bringing his expertise to San Cristobal de las Casas in Chiapas, Mexico. He eventually plans to move his base of operations from Berkeley to Panama.

“In Latin America, the political ground is much more fertile for [free radio] than in the U.S.,” he says during a phone interview from Lima. “People in the U.S. are just too damn comfortable.”

While he agrees that community broadcasters should take advantage of LPFM, “if they have that option open to them,” he also sees it as a crumb tossed to the public by the FCC in order to maintain the broadcasting power structure. He says it does not challenge the FFC’s power to control the airwaves.

One of his major complaints about LPFM is the third adjacent rule, which makes it impossible to set up low-power stations in urban areas.

“The airwaves are a common resource of the people,” he says. “They’ve been stolen by the corporations.”

KOWS in Occidental?

Phil Tymon was a colleague of Dunifer’s in the heady days of Free Radio radicalism. Dunifer used to speak in the broadcasting classes Tymon taught at San Francisco State University. Now Tymon is the business administrative for the Occidental Arts and Ecology Center (OAEC) on rural Coleman Valley Road. But radio runs through the veins of this former manager of both the biggest and smallest public radio stations in the United States: WBAI in New York City and KZYX in Philo.

So while Randy Wells was working with the Guerneville Community Church to get into the broadcasting business, he also made a quick connection with Tymon, who agreed to apply for a license on behalf of the OAEC. With license in hand, Tymon is like a child with a new train set. Working with the Committee for Democratic Communications, he was one of the broadcasters who wrote the suggested rules for low power in the late 1990s. Now he finally gets to play.

“We’re putting a transmitter up,” he says, noting that a September date has recently been postponed due to technical problems. “All of our programming will be recorded at first until we set up our studio in Occidental. We want to be in town because the whole idea is that it’s a community radio station, a focal point for the community. Also, we would have parking problems up here at OAEC, and the three-watt transmitter is located near a horse and goat paddock.”

Tymon, who lives in Guerneville, says his love affair with radio began in his childhood, when he would stay up all night listening to wild and crazy free-form programming.

“It gave me a sense of what radio could be and could do,” he says. “That’s what got me into it.”

That’s what he would like to see happen in Occidental on the new low-power station, KOWS-LP 107.3-FM.

“Let’s find different ways to do radio, radio jam, a period of time when people can just come in and hang out, like being in the Occidental living room. It might not work, but we have the opportunity to experiment,” he says.

On a more serious note, Tymon explains that community radio, whether it is low-power or regular FM, provides an outlet for sharing important information that people might not be able to get in any other way.

“It’s a wedge thing,” he says. “When critical issues arise at least there’s that opening in the airwaves that comes intoplay when it’s needed.”

Rainy Radio

West Marin radio station KWMR 90.5-FM proved its usefulness in hard times last winter by providing listeners with up-to-date, localized information as they sat out three days of flooding caused by the heavy New Year rains.

As part of the West Marin Disaster Council, the station is equipped with radios that enable it to communicate with emergency workers and with a PG&E-funded generator that allows the station to continue to broadcast when the power is out.

“They called me at 5:30am and said, ‘Could you open the station?'” remembers KWMR station manager Kay Clement.

A friendly, middle-aged woman, Clement has been with the station since its inception as a cable-access station for local cable company Horizon. Now it’s a full-power FM community radio station in FCC parlance, but in reality, a de facto low-power station because it only has 18 watts at its transmitter on Mount Vision near Inverness.

Disaster broadcasting is only a very small part of the station’s programming, but one that has allowed the grassroots, mostly volunteer station to garner a lot of funding.

“It’s a good selling point for funding,” admits Clement, who is one of four paid staff members at the station.

KWMR is also like a typical low-power station in other significant ways: All of the approximately 100 DJs are volunteers, and the programming is geared strictly toward the various segments of the West Marin population.

Gus Conde, a park ranger at Point Reyes National Seashore, hosts a bilingual music and talk show on Friday mornings. Like Clement, he has been there from the start; his wife and son also have their own programs.

On his show, Conde plays music from his vast personal collection, an eclectic blend of Spanish language music from all over Latin America, as well as music in English and other languages. He also features the Spanish language columnist from the Point Reyes Light newspaper whose offices are located next door to KWMR, as well as discussions about issues that he believes are of interest to West Marin’s large and diverse Spanish-speaking population.

“I always liked radio and thought it was a good way to communicate things I thought were important to the Spanish-speaking community,” says Conde, who, is a thoughtful, sweet-faced man nearing retirement from the park service. “I had a big music collection I wanted to share,” he continues. “The reason [my show] is bilingual is that I want the communities to come together.”

When he speaks about his show, Conde’s face reveals his passion and dedication. He says he is always thinking about it, even when he is on vacation.

“The first time I realized what a powerful station this was, was when we had the vote for affordable housing [a few years ago],” he remembers. “I saw people listening to the election results on their car radios to get better reception.”

With an additional transmitter in Bolinas, where the station can be heard at 89.3-FM, KWMR is able to broadcast to most of West Marin, from San Geronimo and Olema north to Marshall. Clement says the station hopes to erect a third transmitter in San Geronimo to boost the signal, but even with just the two, on a good day it is possible to pick up the station from as far away as downtown Petaluma.

“For some people, we are the only station they can get,” Clement says.

Full Access

Bumping up against the eastern edge of KWMR’s coverage, three organizations in southern Sonoma County are sharing the only frequency available for a low-power station in their area, 105.7-FM.

When Petaluma Community Access (PCA), One Ministries in Penngrove and Sonoma State University all applied for the frequency several years ago, the FFC granted them each individual licenses and told them to share their spot on the dial.

Petaluma Community Access executive director Jennine Lanouette said the three organizations each have their own time slots and have joined forces to erect a single antenna and transmitter on “the highest hill we could find.” The location, she says, is on private property near Stony Point Road and Railroad Avenue.

“We are working out the lease agreement with the property owner. We have the site. We have the tree picked out, and someone to climb the tree and someone to wire the transmitter. We hope to get going in the fall.”

Meanwhile, PCA continues to broadcast both radio and television as the local cable-access station for Comcast. Once the transmitter is in place, the radio programs will be available to everybody.

Like its sister and brother community stations, KPCA is hoping to offer a healthy mix of programming for seniors, youth, Spanish-speaking listeners and music lovers. Lanouette says her organization hasn’t done a lot of outreach into the community yet because it is still ironing out the legal and technical aspects of the project, but she plans to do it soon.

“We need radio enthusiasts in the community to take charge,” she says. “It’s a wide-open opportunity.”

Island Sounds

Surging along at 2,500 watts, the Sonoma Valley’s KSVY 91.3-FM is tantamount to a Clear Channel behemoth when compared to North Bay low-power stations, but it serves a similar purpose: to connect community. Locals often joke that the town of Sonoma is an island complete unto itself, and volunteer KSVY jock Michael Coats is quick to agree. “Ever since Santa Rosa stole the county seat from us a hundred years ago,” he half-jokes, “it’s hard to get the Press Democrat to cover anything in the Sonoma Valley. It’s virtually impossible to get KFTY TV-50 over here. We have to create our own media.”

With some 80 volunteer jocks, KSVY is part of the Common Bond Foundation that holds the license and is a sister to the Sonoma Valley Sun / De Sonoma Sol newspapers. A companion television station, SCTV Channel 28, is due to go live this fall. On air since April 2004, KSVY calls itself “free range radio” and has a solid section of Spanish-language programming every weekday and rotates shows on area history with hours devoted to food, wine, music and community events. “You can walk into businesses in Sonoma and hear the station,” says Coats, who owns a public-relations firm in the town. “The morning show, Mike and Veronica, has that community feel to it. They’re not there to provoke; you don’t hear a lot of potty talk. And we know it’s growing because we do special events–whether it’s the farmers market or the Fourth of July parade, and we see the turnout.”

Streaming on the web at www.ksvy.org, the Girl and the Fig chef-entrepreneur Sondra Bernstein can be heard Thursdays at 4pm; radio theater, Sundays at 6pm; poetry, music of the ’40s, car talk and enduring discussions of soil composition and horticulture at various intervals throughout the week. It’s an eclectic mix offered by local citizens who have enough comfort in their lives to concentrate their volunteer efforts on having fun.

Coats is one of the “Five Guys at Five” weekday rotation that allows locals the weekly pleasure of having a personal radio show. He trades banter with his sidekicks, quizzes listeners with the regular “Guess the Dead Guy” segment and just generally, he laughs, enjoys “being a big fish in a small pond. It’s the most fun two hours you can have with the lights on–or off.”

–Gretchen Giles


Wide Lens

September 20-26, 2006

How is it that theaters in the North Bay didn’t get a chance to screen The Death of Mr. Lazarescu? Was it that the film had both “Death” and a foreigner’s name in the title? Too bad it wasn’t an inspirational football movie–that we’re allowed to see. The gaps in even our own plentiful cinema schedule justify the Global Lens Film Festival. It’s a four-year-old traveling show of current foreign films about seven different countries; filmmakers as varied as Pedro Almodóvar, Mira Nair, Béla Tarr and Lars von Trier have lent their support for this program. All screenings take place at the Smith Rafael Film Center Sept. 21 through Oct. 4.

‘Thirst’ (Sept. 24, 27 and Oct. 1) is a movie Californians will identify with, as it’s a story of water wars in an arid land. Tawfik Abu Wael’s penetrating drama about a man’s stubbornness takes place in an abandoned village in an Israeli Army patrolled zone, where a Palestinian elder squats with his family. He has money to live in the city, but his daughter’s unmarried pregnancy has made him an exile. Keeping himself alive with hijacked water and stolen wood, he sells charcoal and insists that his family stay with him, despite his son’s increasing frustration and longing to leave for school. The image of a hardheaded man, learning nothing and forgetting nothing, has some application to the fate of Palestinians today–or so it would seem from this intensely symbolic and intriguing drama.

‘The Iranian Border Café,’ aka ‘Café Transit’ (Sept. 22, 24 28; Oct. 1 and 3), is about a widow trying to avoid the traditional widow’s fate of marrying her brother-in-law and becoming a second wife. She works to keep her husband’s cafe open, but pressures around her complicate this already difficult way of making a living. Kambozia Partovi isn’t known here, but the film is a safe bet, since bad Iranian films are the exception rather than the rule. As one Iranian filmmaker once boasted, Persia has three eons of storytelling behind it.

‘In the Battlefields’ (Sept. 23, 26 and Oct. 2) comes from Beirut’s Danielle Arbid, a documentary filmmaker debuting her first feature film. It’s about 1980s Beirut under siege, but young Lina (Marianne Feghali) is more concerned with family trouble, being the child of a degenerate gambler and a mother who is powerless to stop the family’s money from being squandered.

Marcelo Gomes’ ‘Cinema, Aspirins and Vultures’ (Sept. 21, 25, 29-30; Oct. 1 and 4) concerns an unlikely pair of friends in a remote quarter of Brazil in 1942: a German trying to dodge being drafted into the wartime army and a farmer whose livelihood is affected by a bad drought. Together the two get into the picture business, taking movies from hamlet to hamlet by truck. As in the case of Arbid, this is the first work of a documentary filmmaker to feature films.

Other shows include South Africa’s ‘Max and Mona’ (Sept. 23, 30 and Oct. 3), Brazil’s ‘Almost Brothers’ (Sept. 21, 23, 25 and 30), ‘Stolen Life’ (Sept. 22, 24, 26 and 29), Global Short Films (Sept. 24, 29 and Oct. 1) and ‘The Night of Truth’ (Sept. 23, 27-28, 30; Oct. 2 and 4) from Burkina Faso, a story of a fictional country about to lay down its arms after a decade of civil war, until mutual suspicion stirs up the embers.

The Global Lens Film Festival plays Sept. 21-Oct. 4 at the Smith Rafael Film Center, 1118 Fourth St., San Rafael. 415.454.1222.


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Wine Tasting Room of the Week

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My wife the Contessa has a crush on San Francisco mayor Gavin Newsom, and I’ve never bothered to fathom why. To me, he’s always seemed like a lost Baldwin brother squeezed into the familial lineup somewhere betwixt Alec and Billy, what with the gravel voice and his post-pompa-do slickened with an extra dab of suave and all. Certainly, we’re all entitled to such extracurricular reveries–I mean, when I’m not thinking of the Contessa, I’m thinking about Marion Cotillard, the sleepy-eyed femme fatale last seen as the sexy villainess in A Very Long Engagement (emphasis: not the gamine permagirl Audrey Tautou, but the deadly serial killer poured into the corset). My fantasies outside of my committed relationships have typically been anima projections, black widows who I’d just assume kill me in the heat of passion rather than awake desperate to ascribe the pangs of guilt to a hangover.

Were it not for the fact that Gavin’s portfolio boasts an interest in the PlumpJack Winery, which is right next door to the place of my wife’s employment, I’d probably never give the politician a second thought. But when her schedule recently dashed my plans for an impromptu luncheon date, I was left knocking around the neighborhood with nothing better to do than peek into her daydream.

PlumpJack is named for Jack Falstaff, the jocular, debauched foil who cameos in a handful of Shakespeare’s plays. The tasting room, by contrast, is a spare and hip affair replete with a flatscreen TV that plays an endless clip reel of the mayor chumming it up with various network personalities, its sound overrun by an ersatz soundtrack that spans Modest Mouse and Sinatra.

In lieu of a Gavin Newsom sighting, spies can glower at Josh, the young dude at the counter who is efficient to a fault, necessitated, surely, by the droves of tourists daily delivered to the winery by the limo load. Within a beat, I had a healthy pour of the 2005 Reserve Chardonnay ($46) splashed before me. A gangly adolescent of a wine with late melon notes and a cotton-candy finish, the Chard might leave a peach-fuzz mustache if it weren’t so deliciously lean. It is not intended as an insult when I say that this wine would pair brilliantly with a corndog–it has a jaunty, “county fair” attitude that awakens the palate and affirms that some wines demand reckoning on their own terms.

The 2004 PlumpJack Syrah ($38) was a comparatively beefy number, roiling with plum and black cherry notes in an exuberantly hot admixture that is 15.4 percent alcohol–perfect for cheap dates like me. The 2004 PlumpJack Merlot ($50) is a no-nonsense easy drinker in shades of pale raisin with a toasty finish that feels like someone just cinched the last strap of some shameful apparatus, leaving only enough breath to wheeze, “Kill me, Marion, just kill me.”

PlumpJack Winery, 620 Oakville Crossroad, Oakville. Open daily from 10am to 4pm. Tastings are $5. 707.945.1220.



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