Letters to the Editor

07.15.09

411 on pso

I just came across the issue that asks the question, “Is porn harming our kids?” (“Inside the Pornocopia,” June 24). I’d like to answer this question as a psychotherapist in private practice for 20 years.

This is what my patients have taught me about pornography in their lives: That it rewires the brain and sets up a neuroanatomy network such that pornography is internalized, normalized and used for sexual arousal and for sexual release. That the pornographic sex object (PSO) becomes a special friend, like a drug or a cigarette, who is always available when one feels bad, horny, out of sorts and wants comfort or release from tension. That before actual sex with a love partner, a person who is into pornography privately goes to pornography on the computer for foreplay arousal, and then uses the image of the PSO while making love to the partner. Of course, the partner senses that his or her partner is not there and feels something is wrong and often thinks that there is something wrong with him or herself or that the partner is having an affair (which has truth to it). That the user of a PSO objectifies the partner in sex and often wants and sometimes demands an enactment with the partner of what PSOs do on the computer screen or uses the partner for this unasked.

PSO users are often unable to meet the needs of a real person in real life. As a quick-fix solution, couples may both look at pornography together before making love so that there is a semblance of a shared experience while making love. This is one of many quick fixes that result in a loss of trust that often ends in separation or divorce because there is ongoing deceit by the partner who promises to never watch pornography again and fails to do so.

A therapist hearing all or some of this from a patient may think that pornography is normal and not a big thing, and that the couple’s problems are merely traditional couple’s problems of broken trust, differing communication styles, etc. If this is the therapist’s view, then the patient is neither being heard nor served. The person caught in the web of PSOs is an addict.

This journey can begin when, as a teen, he or she innocently and out of curiosity looked at pornography on a computer and got hooked for life.

Robert Leverant

Sebastopol

Working class hero? . . .

Bravo to Peter Phillips and the Bohemian for this article (“Shock and Awe Accounting,” Open Mic, July 8). It goes a long way in organizing awareness of the need to challenge the capital class and attack corruption in California and the United States. There are a lot more working-class citizens getting the shaft than corporate chiefs. Let the games begin.

Jason Schwartz

Santa Rosa

.

. . Or self-serving rabbler?

As usual, Peter Phillips writes provocatively but without any facts. Here are a few: The richest 1 percent of tax filers in California pay nearly half of all taxes in the state, and the richest 15 percent pay over 80 percent. State tax revenues have grown faster than inflation plus population growth in California since 1990, but spending has grown even faster. The problem in California is spending, not taxes.

State employees are a big reason for this out-of-control spending. We have among the most expensive state government workers in the country. California accounts for 9 percent of all U.S. state employees, but 12 pecent of U.S. state government pay! What’s more, California taxpayers fund 55 percent of the budget for the CSU system (where Phillips works), vs. an average funding level of 30 percent elsewhere in the nation. The heavily unionized state education system has one of the highest per-student spending rates in the country, and still gives us a quality of education for our children ranked 48th out of 50 states.

So now you know Phillips’ agenda: he writes to keep state unions strong and salaries up not because he’s interested in what’s best for California, but what’s best for himself. Phillips is part of the problem, not part of the solution.

Jeff Foster

Santa Rosa


Live Review: Beyoncé at the Oracle Arena, Oakland

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1. If Beyoncé were placed inside a time capsule and sent into space, aliens would immediately decide to become friends with Earthlings.
2. Every outfit Beyoncé wore last night at the Oracle Arena in Oakland showed off her legs.
3. Three cheers to the cameraman for putting a feverishly hugging gay couple on the jumbotron during “If I Was a Boy.”
4. Beyoncé is like every pop superstar before her wrapped up in one but without the narcissism. “Ave Maria” was pure Streisand, leather beefcake dancers pure Madonna, ever-increasingly noticeable doses of Michael throughout.
5. Beyoncé now has the most touching tribute to Michael Jackson yet. End of the show, during “Halo,” a canned but nonetheless incredibly moving speech about how he showed her the way—preceded by a video of her when she was a child, emulating his moves, and concluded with altered lyrics about his lasting influence. It beats any other token tribute I’ve seen.
6. Mid-show: bass solo, behind the head, to “Billie Jean.” Beyoncé’s band is all-female, a fact she has every right to point out three or four times throughout the show.
7. Sorry, took a break there. Did I mention Beyoncé is our Earth’s ambassador to space?
8. The feminism of Beyoncé is what the Spice Girls always promised but never delivered: the “Be sexy, but own it, be in control of yourselves and support each other” feminism. Snippets of Sarah McLachlan’s “Angel” and Alanis Morisette’s’ “You Oughta Know” proved she knows her Lilith Fair history, but she makes being a strong woman seem way more exciting than the Lilith Fair ever did. (My heart will actually stop if Beyoncé adds “Double Dare Ya” to her set on this tour.)
9. Beyoncé’s brand of feminism also leaves little room for women who don’t look like Beyoncé, so the point might be moot.
10. People-watching prize: the group of middle-aged women wearing matching custom T-shirts, reading “Fun and 50.”
11. I did not text my special message to the jumbotron before the show, but the girl who told the entire arena she was going to lose her virginity after the show definitely did.
12. There’s a go-to look of wonder that Beyoncé splashes across her face at a moment’s notice, like she’s seeing God or something. Most of the time, I believe her.
13. Okay, okay—walking down the aisle, singing directly to her fans. Oh shit, singing directly to a small child! Holding his hand, looking right into his eyes, singing straight to him—and the kid looks bored, like he’s in math class. 20,000 lbs. of envy in the room.
14. The only thing more exciting than “Crazy in Love” is taking a bathroom break and seeing the Giants’ no-hitter up on the lobby screen. SO CONFLICTED.
15. Scratch everything I’ve just said. The most important thing about Beyoncé is that she resurrects the pop music ideal of mass emotional oneness: everyone feeling like everyone else feels exactly the way they do at that precise moment. This is actually her greatest tribute to Michael Jackson, whether she knows it or not. Evidence during last night’s show included a YouTube collage of “Single Ladies” dances (Hey, we all did that!), footage of the Obamas dancing at the Neighborhood Ball, during “At Last” (Hey, we all watched that!) and allowing the entire crowd to sing “Irreplaceable”’s first verse and chorus (Hey, we’re all doing this, right now, here, together!). Michael had that effect in droves across the world; no one besides Beyoncé has had it to such a degree since.
16. (Side note: “Minute” does not rhyme with “minute.”)
17. Those in the $500 front-row “diva zone” seats were deservedly doted upon, with multiple sweat-towels thrown, hands touched repeatedly, and one guy from Hawaii with a sign that said “It’s My Birthday” who got “Happy Birthday” sung to him. We’d joked about the people who paid $500 for seats, but damn.
18. Second stage, in the middle of the floor, about 25’x25’. Crazy-intimate. Everyone standing on chairs, crowding in tight, taking videophone footage, especially during “Video Phone.” Beyoncé crouching down, talking to fans, reaching out, “seeing God” wonder-face in abundance, genuine gratitude, asking people to say her name. People 100 ft. away in “diva zone” bummed.
19. “She’s sexy, but she’s sexy like a man,” says Liz.
20. End of show, after child-serenading, after Michael tribute, after walking through the crowd flanked by security, after outpouring of love in both directions, the phrase “I Am…” flashes on the screen. “I Am.” Surely, “Sasha Fierce.” No? “I Am…” “YOURS.” “I am yours,” Beyoncé says. “I will give you 100% of everything I have.” Unfuckwithable, because even though in reality Beyoncé’s one of the most private celebrities in the world, she’s just created a sociological time-emotion-music-love vortex in Oakland. How is it possible, night after night? With absolutely pitch-perfect, non-lip-synched singing? Is she even from this planet? Someone please explain.

The Metal Shakespeare Co.: “To Bleed or Not to Bleed”

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Just when I was thinking that over-the-top adventure metal had exhausted the last falsetto yowls from its already-limited substance–think Sonata Arctica, 3 Inches of Blood, Dragonforce—comes the Metal Shakespeare Co., a self-described “bardcore” band who turn to the ultimate source: William Shakespeare. Taking Hamlet’s famous speech from Act II, Scene I, and putting it to shredding hammer-on solos and pounding drums? Instant crush on all these dudes.
The video is below; look for the amazing hobby-horse. And don’t miss ’em when they play at Gilman St. on July 25.

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Beck vs. Tom Waits

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Easily the best thing on the internet today is Beck’s conversation with Tom Waits in a new series on his website he’s calling “irrelevant topics.” It’s not exactly an interview; the two talk loosely but engagingly about homemade submarines, the longevity of songs, the lost works of van Gogh and Euripides, the strength found in poor amplification and of course, Los Angeles, where they both grew up.
Waits:
Not every town gets their song. Actually, Sinatra tried to do a song about Los Angeles. It was really lame. Really lame. It embarrassed the shit out of me.
For all the love Quincy Jones has been getting in the last week, it’s nice to hear someone point out a complete turkey that he produced: “L.A. Is My Lady.” I’m a huge Sinatra fan, and L.A. Is My Lady is absolute dreck.
Part Two is coming next week, but for the time being, Part One is essential reading and can be found here.

July 12: Serf and James at Silo’s Jazz Club

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Among the plentiful new crop of bands from the burgeoning Napa scene, Serf and James sticks out like a sweet, pleasant thumb. Often playing shows with louder, more abrasive bands, the young group is catchy and engaging enough to garner admiration from both teenaged screamo fans and older college-rock aficionados. Whether he knows it or not, singer Serf falls somewhere between M. Ward and Ed Droste, with a voice that soars and contracts with such natural nuance and falsetto control over well-written songs that it’s a wonder his band is still playing local shows. Silo’s has been wonderfully expanding their music schedule in recent months, and worth applause is the booking of Serf and James, appearing on Sunday, July 12, at Silo’s Jazz Club. 530 Main St., Napa. 5pm. Free. 707.251.5833.Gabe Meline

July 12: Ramblin’ Jack Elliott at the Hopmonk Tavern

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Last seen around these parts walking out of the theater halfway through the Merle Haggard/Kris Kristofferson show in Santa Rosa last month, Ramblin’ Jack Elliott lives up to both definitions of his nickname. Talkative as hell, he’s been known to spend more time telling stories than singing music on stage, and he’s rambled all around the mountains and tumbleweeds of this country—one time even making up a missed show by calling the club and performing via phone booth. A former cowhand and early Dylan acolyte, the 77-year-old Elliott has ascended to the title of national treasure; he appeared with Bruce Springsteen at Pete Seeger’s big birthday bash at Madison Square Garden earlier this year, and his latest album, A Stranger Here, is garnering rave reviews. He stops in for a special intimate show on Sunday, July 12, at the Hopmonk Tavern. 230 Petaluma Ave., Sebastopol. 8:30pm. $15-$20. 707.829.7300.Gabe Meline

July 11: This Charming Band at the Last Day Saloon

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The Smiths are easily the most puzzling and improbable band to undertake for a tribute. How dare anyone place their own imprint on one of the most beloved and personal catalogues of recorded music form the last 30 years? Hundreds of Smiths cover songs have painfully and uselessly been foisted on the public with a 99 percent failure rate, and yet This Charming Band, a tribute to Morrissey, Marr, Rourke and Joyce, is a shocking triumph. This has much to do with the vocals of “Orlandissey,” who captures the most confounding aspect of the Smiths—Morrissey’s highly individual vocal inflection and tone—with jaw-dropping precision. They headline an appropriately gloomy lineup with Luv’n Rockets (a Love and Rockets tribute band) and Dead Souls (a Joy Division tribute band) on Saturday, July 11, at the Last Day Saloon. 120 Fifth St., Santa Rosa. 9:30pm. $7-$9. 707.545.2343.Gabe Meline

July 11: Jason Kersten at Book Passage

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Art Williams was a personal driver in Chicago who kept telling his client, a Hollywood producer, that he had a perfect story for a movie. The producer blew him off, hearing such pitches on a daily basis. But at the end of the week, he finally relented, and over lunch learned that Williams had been one of the country’s most successful counterfeiters in history, having faked over $10 million of currency with exacting attention to detail. Rolling Stone writer Jason Kersten was put on the case, and his resulting book, The Art of Making Money: The Story of a Master Counterfeiter, chronicles Williams’ materials and methodology as well as his eventual undoing. Added poignancy lies in the fact that the crackdown came not from Williams’ love of money but of family, in a search for his long-lost father. Kersten discusses this fascinating story on Saturday, July 11, at Book Passage. 51 Tamal Vista Blvd., Corte Madera. 7pm. Free. 415.927.0960.Gabe Meline

July 11: Mix at the Sonoma Valley Museum of Art

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Dive bars are great and all, but for the young art-conscious crowd, a Corona poster with cleavage and booty shorts ain’t exactly Basquiat. If you’ve been meaning to sneak in a flask from the corner store into the Sonoma Valley Museum of Art’s puzzle exhibit, sneak no more! The museum offers liquor, music, dancing and a room full of twentysomethings checking out art (and each other) with Mix, an ongoing series of essential get-togethers for those in the know. This week’s soiree features worldbeat grooves courtesy of DJ Michel Saga and a Northern Indian dance performance by Kathak dance expert Dmitra Smith, with hors d’oeuvres, cocktails and the elusive electricity present when social interaction is at its friskiest. The best part? Admission gets you a SVMA membership for an entire year, with one free drink and free admission to future Mix events. You can’t go wrong on Saturday, July 11, at the Sonoma Valley Museum of Art. 551 Broadway, Sonoma. $25; free to members. 707.939.7862.Gabe Meline

Memories Fade

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07.08.09

I t was the end of the 1980s and Curt Smith from Tears for Fears had it all: a string of hit singles, his face all over MTV and hundreds of thousands of fans. And then, having lost his passion for music, he left it behind, packing up and moving to New York, leaving the other half of the band, Roland Orzabal, to carry on alone. With the band recently reunited and on the phone from his Los Angeles home, Smith considers what he and Orzabal—his best friend since age 13—came to odds about almost 20 years ago.

“Probably everything,” he states. “What weren’t we at odds about? I think musically we were starting to grow apart, and personally—absolutely, we were starting to grow apart as people.”

Smith’s departure at the end of the ’80s was a timely exit. Tears for Fears virtually defined “out of place” in the image-obsessed, Flock of Seagulls-laden 1980s pop hit sphere. With their biggest hit “Shout” based on the primal scream therapy of Arthur Janov; with “Woman in Chains” the most effective feminist statement of the ’80s written by a man; with their 1985 album Songs From the Big Chair named for a miniseries on associative identity disorder, the band always inspired a deeper intellectual connection than most ’80s fluff.

“We don’t really write love songs,” Smith says. “They normally involve politics or personal politics, and by that I mean psychology, to some degree; relationships, to some degree. There has to be some sort of meaning in it for us—otherwise it’s a pointless exercise. That’s just how we are as people. And it doesn’t mean that anyone has to understand it.”

Of course, in 1985, everyone understood Tears for Fears. Flush with the No. 1 success of hits like “Everybody Wants to Rule the World” and “Head Over Heels,” the two entered the studio for a follow-up, The Seeds of Love, further tipping the group’s political slant. Most who heard the catchy “Sowing the Seeds of Love” playing on every radio in 1989 might have been surprised to actually read the lyrics, liberally peppered with references to government corruption, starvation, education and greed. The album also explored music outside their synth-pop safety zone.

“We toured America quite a lot during that period,” Smith explains, “and we started to learn more about American music. If you listen to the Seeds of Love album, you can hear bits of Little Feat, you can hear, in the case of ‘Woman in Chains,’ a bit more gospel, a bit more soul. Steely Dan, even. And this was the first time we’d really listened to this kind of music. In England, it would never get played anywhere.”

The album made a splash, but musical and personal differences took their toll—especially, Smith says, “when you’re living in each other’s pockets every day of the week because of work.” After the split, Orzabal kept the Tears for Fears name for 1993’s Elemental, an underrated gem in the band’s timeline that included a scathing song, “Fish Out of Water,” transparently aimed at Smith and his decision to leave. Orzabal sings: “And on the crucifix his mother made / Hangs one more martyr to the hit parade / You’re dreaming your life away.”

“I thought it was quite amusing,” Smith says of the song today. “That was a song obviously written out of anger. I’d left the band, he was pissed off, and fair enough.” (Smith recorded a response, “The Sun King,” on his next solo album.)

 

Years later—after a Gary Jules cover of the group’s “Mad World” from the film Donnie Darko slowly became a red-hot hit, and before Kanye West sampled “Memories Fade”—Orzabal asked to meet with Smith, the two had dinner, and the next thing they knew they’d recorded a major comeback album, appropriately titled Everybody Loves a Happy Ending, replete with a buoyant, vintage feel. Pleasantly surprising even the most trepid fans, Happy Ending manages to retain a classic Tears for Fears sound without sounding formulaic or contrived. A successful tour followed, the two get along again, and Smith says it’s almost just like old times.

As for the vindictive songs they once wrote for each other? Water under the bridge, says Smith—even though he still feels he got in a humorous last word.

“The ‘Fish Out of Water’ thing was a little obtuse,” he says. “And my song was like, ‘Yeah, but you’re fat.'”

 Tears for Fears play Tuesday, July 14, at the Wells Fargo Center. 50 Mark West Springs Road, Santa Rosa. 8pm. $30-$70. 707.546.3600.


Letters to the Editor

07.15.09411 on psoI just came across the issue that asks the question, "Is porn harming our kids?" ("Inside the Pornocopia," June 24). I'd like to answer this question as a psychotherapist in private practice for 20 years.This is what my patients have taught me about pornography in their lives: That it rewires the brain and sets up a neuroanatomy...

Live Review: Beyoncé at the Oracle Arena, Oakland

1. If Beyoncé were placed inside a time capsule and sent into space, aliens would immediately decide to become friends with Earthlings. 2. Every outfit Beyoncé wore last night at the Oracle Arena in Oakland showed off her legs. 3. Three cheers to the cameraman for putting a feverishly hugging gay couple on the jumbotron during “If I Was a Boy.” 4....

The Metal Shakespeare Co.: “To Bleed or Not to Bleed”

Just when I was thinking that over-the-top adventure metal had exhausted the last falsetto yowls from its already-limited substance–think Sonata Arctica, 3 Inches of Blood, Dragonforce—comes the Metal Shakespeare Co., a self-described "bardcore" band who turn to the ultimate source: William Shakespeare. Taking Hamlet's famous speech from Act II, Scene I, and putting it to shredding hammer-on solos and...

Beck vs. Tom Waits

Easily the best thing on the internet today is Beck's conversation with Tom Waits in a new series on his website he's calling "irrelevant topics." It's not exactly an interview; the two talk loosely but engagingly about homemade submarines, the longevity of songs, the lost works of van Gogh and Euripides, the strength found in poor amplification and of...

July 12: Serf and James at Silo’s Jazz Club

Among the plentiful new crop of bands from the burgeoning Napa scene, Serf and James sticks out like a sweet, pleasant thumb. Often playing shows with louder, more abrasive bands, the young group is catchy and engaging enough to garner admiration from both teenaged screamo fans and older college-rock aficionados. Whether he knows it or not, singer Serf falls...

July 12: Ramblin’ Jack Elliott at the Hopmonk Tavern

Last seen around these parts walking out of the theater halfway through the Merle Haggard/Kris Kristofferson show in Santa Rosa last month, Ramblin’ Jack Elliott lives up to both definitions of his nickname. Talkative as hell, he’s been known to spend more time telling stories than singing music on stage, and he’s rambled all around the mountains and tumbleweeds...

July 11: This Charming Band at the Last Day Saloon

The Smiths are easily the most puzzling and improbable band to undertake for a tribute. How dare anyone place their own imprint on one of the most beloved and personal catalogues of recorded music form the last 30 years? Hundreds of Smiths cover songs have painfully and uselessly been foisted on the public with a 99 percent failure rate,...

July 11: Jason Kersten at Book Passage

Art Williams was a personal driver in Chicago who kept telling his client, a Hollywood producer, that he had a perfect story for a movie. The producer blew him off, hearing such pitches on a daily basis. But at the end of the week, he finally relented, and over lunch learned that Williams had been one of the country’s...

July 11: Mix at the Sonoma Valley Museum of Art

Dive bars are great and all, but for the young art-conscious crowd, a Corona poster with cleavage and booty shorts ain’t exactly Basquiat. If you’ve been meaning to sneak in a flask from the corner store into the Sonoma Valley Museum of Art’s puzzle exhibit, sneak no more! The museum offers liquor, music, dancing and a room full of...

Memories Fade

07.08.09I t was the end of the 1980s and Curt Smith from Tears for Fears had it all: a string of hit singles, his face all over MTV and hundreds of thousands of fans. And then, having lost his passion for music, he left it behind, packing up and moving to New York, leaving the other half of the...
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