.So Ya Wanna Be a Derby Girl?

colinmichaelphoto.comBefore investing in that first pair of fishnets or even learning how to skate, the first thing to do, of course, is to get a kick-ass roller derby name. Bohemian contributor Maully the Jackel (known more familiarly as Molly T. Jackel) researched the derby names in current use and got hooked on the puns and fun involved in renaming yourself as a tuff chick. For her April 16 cover story on the Sonoma County Roller Derby league, she amassed a long list of her faves. Alas, print restrictions. Hallelujah, the endless ream of the Web. Out of the 11,946 registered derby girls, here are some of her faves.

Abracastabya Palmetto — State Rollergirls

Amber Waves of Pain — Windy City Rollers

Angela Slamsbury — Gotham City Roller Girls

Apocalypse Frau — Capital City Roller Rebels

Ashley Thudd — MTL Roller Derby

Audrey Hipburn — Palmetto State Rollergirls

Aurora Gory Alice — Albany All Star Roller Derby

B. F. Skinnher — Hudson Valley Horrors

Babe Ruthless — Arizona Roller Derby

Bash-kin Robbins — Ohio Roller Girls

Barbie Got Back — Rockford Rage

Battlestar Kick Asstica — South Jersey Derby Girls

Betty Aim Fire — Emerald City Roller Girls

The Big Kapowski (Ref) — Tornado Alley Rollergirls

Big Trouble in Little Gina — Brewcity Bruisers

Bruise Lee Rat — City Rollergirls

Busty Rhymes — Palmetto State Rollergirls

Bitch Cassidy — Tucson Roller Derby

Buttersnatch Sundae — Maine Roller Derby


— North Star Roller Girls

Cassius Slay — Salt City Derby Girls

Grrrl Haggard — Humboldt Roller Derby’s Redwood Rollers

Joan of Dark — Naptown Roller girls

MaHellYeah Jackson — Rockford Rage

Knuckleberry Finn — The Oly Rollers

Laverne N. Surly — Dutchland Rollers

Leave it to Cleavage — Sonoma County Roller Derby

Libido Loco — Chi*Town Sirens Roller Derby

Lola Piranha — Dixie Derby Girls

Lord of the Rink — River Valley Roller girls

Lucille Brawl — Texas Rollergirls

Mazel Tov Cocktail — Broward County Derby Girls

Meshuggah Walls — Emerald City Rolle rgirls

Osteo Ferocious — ManchVegas Rollergirls

Pee Wee Hurt’em — Arch Rival Roller Girls

Raquel Squelch— Derby City Roller Girls

Rinkwraith — Fox Cityz Foxz

Seven Year Bitch — Silicon Valley Roller Girls

Titty Titty Bang Bang — LA Derby Dolls

Weird Al Spankabitch — Nashville Rollergirls

What’s your derby name?

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