colinmichaelphoto.comBefore investing in that first pair of fishnets or even learning how to skate, the first thing to do, of course, is to get a kick-ass roller derby name. Bohemian contributor Maully the Jackel (known more familiarly as Molly T. Jackel) researched the derby names in current use and got hooked on the puns and fun involved in renaming yourself as a tuff chick. For her April 16 cover story on the Sonoma County Roller Derby league, she amassed a long list of her faves. Alas, print restrictions. Hallelujah, the endless ream of the Web. Out of the 11,946 registered derby girls, here are some of her faves.
Abracastabya Palmetto — State Rollergirls
Amber Waves of Pain — Windy City Rollers
Angela Slamsbury — Gotham City Roller Girls
Apocalypse Frau — Capital City Roller Rebels
Ashley Thudd — MTL Roller Derby
Audrey Hipburn — Palmetto State Rollergirls
Aurora Gory Alice — Albany All Star Roller Derby
B. F. Skinnher — Hudson Valley Horrors
Babe Ruthless — Arizona Roller Derby
Bash-kin Robbins — Ohio Roller Girls
Barbie Got Back — Rockford Rage
Battlestar Kick Asstica — South Jersey Derby Girls
Betty Aim Fire — Emerald City Roller Girls
The Big Kapowski (Ref) — Tornado Alley Rollergirls
Big Trouble in Little Gina — Brewcity Bruisers
Bruise Lee Rat — City Rollergirls
Busty Rhymes — Palmetto State Rollergirls
Bitch Cassidy — Tucson Roller Derby
Buttersnatch Sundae — Maine Roller Derby
Block-n-Deck-Her
— North Star Roller Girls
Cassius Slay — Salt City Derby Girls
Grrrl Haggard — Humboldt Roller Derby’s Redwood Rollers
Joan of Dark — Naptown Roller girls
MaHellYeah Jackson — Rockford Rage
Knuckleberry Finn — The Oly Rollers
Laverne N. Surly — Dutchland Rollers
Leave it to Cleavage — Sonoma County Roller Derby
Libido Loco — Chi*Town Sirens Roller Derby
Lola Piranha — Dixie Derby Girls
Lord of the Rink — River Valley Roller girls
Lucille Brawl — Texas Rollergirls
Mazel Tov Cocktail — Broward County Derby Girls
Meshuggah Walls — Emerald City Rolle rgirls
Osteo Ferocious — ManchVegas Rollergirls
Pee Wee Hurt’em — Arch Rival Roller Girls
Raquel Squelch— Derby City Roller Girls
Rinkwraith — Fox Cityz Foxz
Seven Year Bitch — Silicon Valley Roller Girls
Titty Titty Bang Bang — LA Derby Dolls
Weird Al Spankabitch — Nashville Rollergirls
What’s your derby name?
