Scalia Via Anagram

These are serious times that require serious, thoughtful reflection on grave matters of state, such as: Now that Antonin Scalia—divisive American and pugnacious defender of rigging contested presidential elections so your GOP guy wins—has gone to the great Gitmo in the sky, what are the most relevant anagrams that can be made out of his name?

“Anal inactions” is one anagram for “Antonin Scalia” that springs to mind, except that Scalia was a right-wing judicial activist who tried to use the Supreme Court to do what the Tea Party Congress couldn’t: repeal Obamacare by any means necessary.

There’s also “in satanic loan,” which is pretty choice, if one believes that Scalia was Beelzebub’s minion, on loan from the devil to do his unearthly misdeeds, and maybe he was. “Satan icon lain” could be the anagram headline following his funeral. “Can ail nations,” sure does describe what Scalia did to this particular nation, such as that time he voted to overturn Miranda rights.

Given his devilish devotion to a nonliving Constitution, it might be true that, upon reaching his final destination, Scalia was heard to shout, “Lo, a satanic inn!” We’ll always remember that time he said it was OK to execute the retarded, because that’s how they rolled in 1791.

But none of those anagrams really get at the heart of Scalia, and “anal stain icon” is looking more and more like the top contender. Disrespectful of the dead? How about Scalia’s disrespect for gay marriage rights, which cannot be overlooked, even as he now admits, from the grave, that “I sanction anal.” Meanwhile, California attorney general Kamala Harris is on the short list to replace Scalia, but don’t count on it: “Kamala Harris” is just another way of saying “Ma Sharia lark.”