Although the hyperbolic headline of this article from 1963 was completely unwarranted, it wouldn’t feel too out of place these days in the Bay Area, where coffee is considered sacred in a time when the idea of a $5 16-ounce coffee is far from preposterous.

Whether it began the coffee renaissance in this country is yet to be determined, but it certainly raised eyebrows. Yeah, that cuppa’ jo was just a nickel. Sure, couch fishing spoils could put a pep in your step. But was it worth it? Was the gut rot, the headache, the wonton destruction of taste buds and the horrible breath really worth that nickel? Would caffeine lovers in 1963 have been willing to shell out, say $.25 for a coffee? Still one coin, but substantially more expensive.

To some, coffee is like gas: an irreplaceable necessity of modern life. No matter the cost, it will be consumed. But unlike gas, its quality varies greatly. Directly oppositional to gas, cheaper the brew, the bigger the frown. But that doesn’t mean a more expensive cup equals greatness. Once the basic need for caffeine is met, coffee becomes an artisan food. Just think of all the work that goes into making it: harvesting the cherries, discarding the fruit, drying the beans, roasting and then grinding into a powder to be steeped in hot water. And each of these steps influences the flavor.

Gas is not like that. Gas is a “yes or no” process, meaning “will this make my motor run, yes or no?” Companies like to pretend theirs is better, with special additives. But that’s like toting what kind of milk or sweetener is in one’s coffee. That doesn’t matter if it’s all the same stuff. But coffee is not gas, thankfully.

There is a definite difference between Intelligensia coffee and McDonald’s. There’s a difference between Flying Goat and Starbuck’s, mainly that Goat’s French press coffee has depth with notes of fruit, flowers and chocolate while the Bucks’ has the flavor profile of an dirty oven left on all day.

Maybe it’s the feeling of coolness from typing on a Bluetooth keyboard connected to my phone, maybe it’s the cheerful folk music in this cafe or maybe it’s the second-cup optimism kicking in, but I’m really glad we will never again have to see a headline containing the words “forced” and “swill.” At least not with regard to coffee.

• Wikipedia
• Artist’s rendition of a giant asteroid about to smash into Earth.

A meteorite struck the Earth this week, injuring over 1,100 people near the Russian city of Chalyabinsk, which has a population over 1 million. It weighed 10 tons and lit up the sky, streaking through the atmosphere on its way to impact. It’s the worst recorded impact in history. And it went completely undetected. To quote San Francisco Giants broadcaster Duane Kuiper, this is not good, folks.

The idea that the planet can be struck at any time by a space rock that could potentially wipe out a massive amount of the population is scary. Not to seem like Chicken Little, but the sky is always falling, it’s just usually burned up into bits before it hits us. When a large enough rock gets through, it means big trouble. This infographic from the Guardian UK sums it up quite nicely.

The lack of detection could have been due to lack of tracking resources, or it could have been due to the gigantic 2012 DA14 asteroid that narrowly missed the planet. It came so close, in fact, that it passed inside our communications satellites. Had it hit Earth, the impact would have had the power of more than 250 Hiroshima bombs exploding at once in the same place.

A recent discovery showed that within 33,000 years of a massive asteroid hitting the Earth, dinosaurs went extinct. The theory of what killed the dinosaurs can probably be pegged on a massive meteorite impact, at least for the most part. Humans, now the dominant species on the planet, could be next.

It’s not like the Bohemian didn’t see this coming. Or that astronaut Rusty Schweickart, co-founder of the B6-12 foundation, which is dedicated to tracking asteroids and preventing collisions with Earth, hasn’t been trying to explain the importance of this for years. But as he explains, most of the time it takes a tragedy to cement the importance of prevention in people’s minds. Maybe this will be it.

Sonoma West Times and News reports that (in)famous lobbyist Darius Anderson gave a keynote speech at a recent California Newspaper Publishers Association event in Sacramento.

• Press Democrat front page

“Anderson said he is not done buying newspapers yet,” the articles reads. “‘We’re coming to a town near you soon,’ he told the room full of fellow newspaper owners. ‘I plan to go to San Francisco and rape and pillage other publications and take their talent and bring it to Santa Rosa.'”

In November, Anderson was one of a team of local investors who bought the Press Democrat.

As we wrote then: “Darius Anderson has a long history as a high-powered lobbyist for companies like PG&E, Station Casinos, Pfizer, Microsoft and Catellus, and has worked for Clint Eastwood and been a fundraiser for Gray Davis. In 2010, Anderson was fined half a million dollars in a corruption probe. He currently wants to build a $30 million boutique hotel off the Sonoma plaza.”

Anderson’s words at the conference were, no doubt, offered in jest. But they have a sinister ring, considering the numerous conflicts-of-interest that could arise from his joint roles as lobbyist and newspaper owner. According to the Sonoma West article, Anderson both “called for a “bigger role” of the newspaper industry in statewide affairs” and “offered himself for a possible run at statewide office in the future.” The piece does report that Anderson declared intentions to put the paper in a non-profit trust if he does run, to “avoid the appearance of any conflicts of interest.”

See the full video of Anderson’s speech here:

In other news, Anderson collects Cuban art.

Are you gaga for gouda? Passionate about parmesan? Mad about mozzarella? For all you cheese lovers out there, here’s your chance to embrace your inner Shakespeare and start slinging some stanzas. The lucky winner of the Bohemian’s Cheesiest Poetry Contest will receive two tickets to the tenth-annual Sonoma Valley Cheese Conference, running Feb. 23-27! (For more info, see details here.)

So don’t delay. Send us your best ode to gorgonzola or havarti haiku. Send us a sestina that rhymes its way into our curdled hearts, a sonnet that shows us the whey, a limerick that lingers long after the pizza is gone. Get creative. Have fun. And remember: The cheesier, the better.

Send all entries to le*****@******an.com by midnight on Wednesday, Feb. 20.

(Cheese image via Shutterstock.)