Dating! Ain’t it grand? Well, except when it ain’t. You know you’ve been there at some point: sitting in the car, walking home the next morning, or trying to flag a taxi to get-the-hell-outta-there. Your only consolation is texting your friend: “Worst. Date. Ever.“

The other consolation lies in the fantastic leverage you now wield during “worst date” storytime, which, for the Bohemian, falls in our dating-themed Sex & Valentines issue, publishing Feb. 6. That’s right: we want you to spill the beans on your worst date ever. Tell us how terrible and awkward it all was, in grisly and humorous detail, and you may be selected as one of the top three winning stories to be published on Feb. 6!

Stories should be no longer than 400 words and emailed to: le*****@******an.com. Entries may be published with a pseudonym if desired. Winners are chosen by an editorial panel and awarded prizes sufficiently tantalizing to cleanse your memory of the awful evening in question. Entries must be submitted by Friday, Feb. 1.

Love & Kisses,
The Bohemian

Erasing the worrisome burden of what to call that place near Sonoma where the really fast cars try finish a certain amount of laps before everyone else, it was announced today the place will officially be called Sonoma Raceway.

Seems obvious, right? But that’s the case with all good names, like Rollerblades and Band-Aids, which are trademarked names of in-line skates and adhesive strips, respectively. No longer will journalists struggle to find consensus on what to call that paved curvy track thingy in Sonoma. No more shall we see Raceway at Sonoma, the Sonoma Racetrack or my personal favorite, the Former Infineon Raceway.

But don’t try visiting www.sonomaraceway.com, because that’s obviously not the correct website for the one-lane, twisty infinite road that hosts NASCAR, NHRA and other major motorsports events. The correct site is www.racesonoma.com. Because anything else would ruin the genius of the new name.

After losing sponsorship from Infineon, it would be nice to think the 300:1-scale slot car race track in Sonoma defied convention and went with a name proudly boasting its location; after all, the Wine County is world renowned. But, much like Candlestick Park, which simply couldn’t find someone willing to pay millions of dollars for TV announcers just to say the company name a few dozen times per year, it’s more likely a sluggish economy and hesitant accountants contributed to the new name.

Was a local discount considered? What about Mondavi Raceway? Trione Track? Coppola Causeway? (OK, that’s Napa County and Causeway is a weird thing to be racing on, so nix that). How about Guy Fieri’s Donkey Sauce Full Throttle Raceway at 100 Percent Grass-Fed Meyer Ranch? That one sounds like a winner to me, I’ll take two.

But really, no matter what it’s called, I bet there’s a bunch of people who will always call it Sears Point.