The Killer Corn

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Granted, when 50 tortillas cost $2 to buy, and making them right can take a full day, practicality wins out much of the time.

But many diners only know the Taco Bell–ized version of the tortilla, and these flavorless vehicles for meat and guacamole just don’t give the ancient food that powered a civilization for hundreds of years the respect it deserves.

Like most cheap food that has been around for centuries, tortillas have hung around so long because they’re tasty, affordable, and have nutritious value. But, as with many modern takes on old standards, the popular version pales in comparison to the real thing.

To make a tortilla from scratch, one must start at the ground level. Burning limestone is a way to obtain lime (calcium oxide, known in markets simply as “cal”), which, when mixed with water, makes calcium hydroxide. Yes, we’re still talking about tortillas, and this is where science comes into play.

One cup of this mixture is poured into a pot of water and dried field corn, which is then boiled for five minutes before being left to sit overnight. The hemicellulose and pectin in the plant’s cell walls break down in the solution, and the indigestible hulls loosen. This is called nixtamalization. The calcium is absorbed in the corn and allows for the release of chemicals that allow for easier grinding and give the dough its signature texture.

Once drained, the bright yellow kernels are rinsed under cool water and rubbed together to remove the hulls. Not only does this make the corn palatable and versatile, it makes it less deadly.

In the mid 19th century, it was confirmed that corn was the cause of pellagra when a French campaign to eliminate the vegetable as a diet staple all but eradicated the deadly disease from western Europe. But it wasn’t until 1938 that American scientists discovered that niacin cures pellagra, and it was even later that nixtamalization, which adds niacin and other vitamins to corn, was found to eliminate the cause of the disease altogether.

And this is something Mesoamericans were doing in the 15th century. It took us over 500 years to figure out how to stop killing ourselves with corn. That’s how important this process is.

The corn’s now ready for grinding, but this can’t be done in a food processor. Traditionally, it’s ground with a bit of water on a large, flat stone called a metate. At El Molino Central in Boyes Hot Springs, this is done daily. (A “molino” is the name of the machine and the place where corn is traditionally brought for grinding, because to do large amounts by hand would mean an absurd amount of work.)

El Molino Central’s tortillas and chips are spectacular on their own, and instantly elevate anything that accompanies them. The restaurant takes pride in this—rightfully so—offering chips and tortillas to go at the counter.

Back to the tortillas (we’re almost done). The dough, called masa, is made into little balls called testales. Placed between two circles cut from plastic bags, it’s squished in a press and cooked on a griddle until a pocket forms in the middle. Now they’re ready to be stuffed (tacos, enchiladas), fried (chips, tostadas) or just eaten right away with a little bit of butter (heaven).

Kachina Cult Cab

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I’m not breaking any news reporting that yet another couple packed in the high-tech life to rusticate in the vineyards.

Kachina Vineyards owners Greg (shown) and Nancy Chambers gave up fast-paced careers 15 years ago to buy an undeveloped parcel in the benchlands above Dry Creek Valley. And, yes, they built a little Tuscan-style winery with artfully exposed brick and planted estate Cabernet Sauvignon—check and check. But their pastoral aspirations didn’t stop at the precious designation “vintner.” They went all the way to “goat breeder.”

Spanish meat goats are a rare, hardy breed that will eat nearly anything—including poison oak, a handy trait in the dense oak woodland surrounding the winery. One fuzzy, brown kid was rejected by its mother earlier this spring and had to be hand-raised. He’s a keeper. The fate of the rest will vary, but I’m not going to speculate on the wine pairing.

Kachina is named after spirit beings from the Hopi tradition, which may represent earthly figures or deities. “The god we picked was the god of good harvest and prosperity,” Greg says. “It seemed tied in to what we were doing.” Self-taught winemakers, the couple run the 1,000-case winery themselves, and pour wine for visitors on a quiet patio under the oaks.

Cicadas chirp from the trees and turkeys gobble in the scrub while tiny caterpillars bob from silken strands above my glass of 2012 Russian River Valley Chardonnay ($32). Like a sample spritzed in the air by a perfume counter clerk, this wine suggests, “Here, try Chardonnay.” In between tart, Eureka lemon and refreshing, lime margarita flavors, sweet butterscotch sneaks a ride to the finish. There’s a meaty savor to the dry, cherry-fleshed 2013 Sangiovese Rosé ($29), and the Zinfandel Port ($32), washing down a locally made chocolate truffle, becomes a light, grapey quaff.

Rarer than a Spanish goat is the Savoie grape; the 2012 Charbono ($29) is sourced from a portion of the 80 or so acres of this heritage grape remaining in California. A chameleon once mistakenly labeled Pinot Noir, among other things, Charbono is also known as raffish-sounding Douce Noir in France, where it’s also rare (but don’t cry for Bonarda, which turns out to be the same grape, widely planted in Argentina).

For fans, the grape wins on character—it makes a supple and buoyantly fruity wine at relatively low alcohol levels. This one’s got the aroma of dried blueberries and leather, but tannins as soft and plush as a Persian cat. I would pair with goat cheese, and leave it at that.

Kachina Vineyards, 4551 Dry Creek Road, Healdsburg. Tastings by appointment only, Thursday–Monday; $10. 707.332.0854.

Wish I Was At Coachella!

Did your 2014 Coachella Wristband Ticket Box with stop-action video and radio frequency IDs get lost in the mail? Yea, so did mine.

But don’t trip on being broke and stuck at home. The first ever Wish I Was At Coachella party is happening tonight at Christy’s in downtown Santa Rosa, where homegrown boys DJs Sykwidit and E20 are going to spin everything under the hot desert sun, from Outkast and Skrillex to Chvrches and Little Dragon. Come get your dance on and don’t be like these guys. The North Bay’s baddest party DJs are gonna rock all the real bands you are gonna miss because you couldn’t decide what to wear.

Christy’s On The Square, 96 Old Courthouse Square, Santa Rosa (707) 528-8565, free before 10:30pm.

April 10: Anthony Jeselnik at Cotati’s Green Music Center

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Comedian Anthony Jeselnik might be a sociopath. That’s the only way to explain how the razor-sharp humorist could dare say the things he says on his Comedy Central show, The Jeselnik Offensive, or on his recent comedy album Caligula, or on his many appearances on shows like Comedy Central Roast. Finding the funny in tragic times comes easy to Jeselnik, and the comic brings a red-hot iron poker of mockery to the Green Music Center for a night of skewering satirical insanity. Jeselnik appears on April 10 at the Green Music Center, 1801 East Cotati Ave., Rohnert Park. 7pm. $20—$35.

April 11: Operation Jazz at the Healdsburg Center for the Arts

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Operation Jazz is a fixture in the Healdsburg area, a weeklong jazz studies immersion for music students led by pro musicians and capped off by a concert at the Healdsburg Center for the Arts. This year, percussionist and Operation Jazz educator Babatunde Lea leads an ensemble that will perform the music of Miles Davis and John Coltrane. Joining Lea are former Davis saxophonist Azar Lawrence, trombonist Angela Wellman and jazz pianist Frank Martin, among others, all of whom participated in Operation Jazz. Babatunde Lea and friends play April 11, at the Healdsburg Center for the Arts, 130 Plaza St., Healdsburg. 7:30pm. 707.431.1970.

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April 12-13: Apple Blossom Festival in Sebastopol

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Sebastopol’s Apple Blossom Festival is as American as a particular pie, and this year’s fest, now in its 68th year, celebrates the tradition and funky spirit of the weekend event. Adopting “Red, White & Blues” as the theme, the festival kicks off with a parade down Main Street on Saturday morning, and continues through Sunday with music from headlining acts like the Gator Nation Band on Saturday and Blues Hall of Famer Joe Louis Walker on Sunday. The Apple Blossom Festival takes place rain or shine on April 12—13, at Ives Park (Jewell Avenue and Willow Street) and the Sebastopol Center for the Arts, 282 High St., Sebastopol. 10am—6pm on Saturday; 10am—5pm on Sunday. $5—$10. 707.823.3032.

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April 16-17: Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde at the Robert Louis Stevenson Museum

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As universally known as Dracula and as terrifying as Frankenstein, Robert Louis Stevenson’s Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde has been the source of inspiration for a century of adaptations in film, television, theater and comic books. Now the Robert Louis Stevenson Museum presents the 1912 short silent film, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, the first known adaptation of the novella and one of the first horror movies in cinema history. Allison Fox will be on hand for a discussion of Stevenson’s influence, which includes a look at the Bugs Bunny take on the classic tale. April 16-17. Robert Louis Stevenson Museum, 1490 Library Lane, St. Helena. 7pm. Free. 707.963.3757.

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Ghost in the Mirror

Mike Flanagan’s frightening Oculus mashes two masterpieces, Kubrick’s Shining and “The Haunted Mirror” (from the 1945 horror classic Dead of Night), while staying deep in the territory of
The Turn of the Screw.

This is a horror film so well-crafted that it can tell you the terrifying things it’s going to do and still make you jump when it does them. The essence of the film is whether a brother and a sister can agree on what they’re seeing, right when it is key for their sanity and survival.

Kaylie (Karen Gillan) blames an antique mirror for the catastrophe that befell her family, who once lived in a suburban mini-mansion in the golf-course part of the South. She’s traced the history of the mirror to an 18th-century British nobleman, and discovered it has driven dozens to madness, self-mutilation and murder. Kaylie turns her family’s vacant house into a makeshift parapsychological lab, with closed-circuit cameras, laptops and a trap that can break the glass with one flick of a button.

“We’re holding a gun to its head,” Kaylie says to estranged brother Tim (Brenton Thwaites), who provides the “there must be some rational explanation” dialogue, though we know better. The mirror beguiles and warps time, forcing brother and sister to rewatch the mental collapse of their father (Rory Cochrane) and the demise of their mother (Katee Sackhoff of Battlestar Galactica).

For women,

Oculus‘ theme of a daughter trying to avoid the fate of her mother might make this a more interesting horror film than most. Sackhoff carries the weight of the film’s pity and perverse sensuality; she’s a housewife/captive, in nightgowns and loose housedresses, but she’s also a strapping, red-haired woman with a Gothic tattoo on one arm. And Gillan’s rapid-fire dialogue and intensity make the daughter a heroine to root for, even if you’re not sure she’s sane.

‘Oculus’ opens Friday, April 11, at Boulevard 14 Cinemas, 200 C St., Petaluma. 707.762.7469.

Palm Leaves

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Sebastopol’s Palm Drive Hospital will likely close its doors by April 28 after the hospital’s board of directors voted Monday night, 4–1, to shut down core services at the cash-strapped facility. The board told a crowd of about 250 gathered at the meeting at the Community Church of Sebastopol that it had filed for bankruptcy protection earlier that day.

Hospital spokesman Marcus Young says the closure could last from three to six months, and the hospital might reopen as a different type of facility.

There are two proposals on the table: “One is a private surgery center that would look to offering some degree of emergency service,” Young says. The other, which Young has less detail about, is “more of a clinic-type operation.”

Palm Drive is a district hospital funded by taxpayers, which creates a different set of issues than if it was a private hospital. “If you look at the district hospital model across the country, this is the trend that’s happening,” says Young. Competition from Sutter, Memorial and Kaiser hospitals in Santa Rosa have drawn patients from the smaller Palm Drive, which offers fewer services. Palm Drive also has trouble keeping up with new, modern facilities and the equipment in larger, better funded private hospitals.

“District hospitals, slowly, over time, cannot compete,” says Young.

Palm Drive has seen a 30 percent drop in patients this year versus last. Forty employees were laid off in January, including eight nurses, and the hospital reduced its inpatient beds from 27 to 14. Last month, all employees at the hospital got notices of possible layoffs when the average number of patients per day was seven. So far this month, it’s 4.4.

The hospital is taking a $2 million loan from the county to transition the hospital into economic viability. The loan was necessary, he says, “in order to bridge to the closure.”

Officials said last week the hospital was losing almost $2 million a year. Palm Drive filed for Chapter 9 bankruptcy protection in 2007, when it was losing $500,000 a month and held $3 million in debt. It emerged from bankruptcy in May 2010 after selling bonds to pay off its debt, which by then had grown to $11 million. Less than two years later, in March 2012, the hospital announced it was running a deficit of about $850,000—instead of a projected surplus of $915,000.

Doctors and other employees offered suggestions on how to keep the hospital open during Monday’s meeting. “The board left that to be examined as they go through the process over the next few weeks or next few months,” says Young.

But he warned it might be too late for some of the suggestions. “It’s a district hospital supported by taxpayers, so there are probably issues of voting that need to be taken into account,” says Young. “That doesn’t mean it can’t happen; it just means it can’t happen within the three-week window.”

Asked if the public forum should have been held sooner, Young says the board didn’t foresee the steep drop in patients. “Even if they went into that process a year ago, it would have been a more difficult time to do that. Sometimes you have to get to a more critical point.”

Inpatient services at Palm Drive may close on April 21, and the emergency room is slated for shutdown by April 28. An ambulance will be stationed at the hospital for three months to assist emergency patients unaware of the closure. They’ll be transferred to other facilities.

If you’ve got a better idea, hospital officials are fielding suggestions from the public at Th*******@***************al.com. If you’ve got ideas, let us know at le*****@******an.com

Musical Chairs

‘Nunsense . . . is habit forming,” sings a chorus of slightly risqué sisters in Dan Goggin’s popular musical Nunsense, currently playing in Windsor at the brand-new Raven Players Windsor theater. That remark about “habits” could also apply to a recent habit among North Bay theater companies: changing locations.

In the case of the Raven Players, they haven’t abandoned their home base in Healdsburg; they’ve merely added to their fiefdom, acquiring a cinderblock building (formerly a church) right off the Windsor Town Green, where they will be presenting the same kind of musicals and classics that have made the Raven a local institution. Between the two Raven theaters, the next few months will be packed with shows like Noises Off (opening April 25) and Les Misérables.

Yes, there have been recent performances of those shows at other companies in the area. As to the question of how many repetitions of the same shows the North Bay needs, well, we’re about to learn the answer.

Adding to the fun is the brand-new North Bay Stage Company, a split-off from the Raven, which will hold a gala this month, whipping up enthusiasm for its first season of shows, beginning in July with Kander and Ebb’s Cabaret and continuing with A. R. Gurney’s Sylvia. The new company will make its home at the Wells Fargo Center for the Arts, a deliberately central move for the performers who, as members of the Raven Players, often coveted the audiences of companies a bit less far from Santa Rosa.

Meanwhile, the Napa Valley Players are winding up their final season at their longtime home, a charmingly eccentric theater space tucked into a corner of a Napa strip mall. Facing the necessity of expensive renovations, NVP has decided to hit the road, performing in a number of spots around the Napa area. Their final musical will be a show as unstoppable as Nunsense. The Marvelous Wonderettes will signal the end of an era for NVP, as the North Bay theater scene continues its ongoing game of musical chairs.

‘Nunsense’ runs Thursday–Sunday, through April 19 at Raven Theater Windsor. 195 Windsor River Road, Windsor. Thursday–Saturday at 8pm; 2pm matinees on Sundays. $10–$35. 707.433.6335. North Bay Stage Company’s Grand Gala is Thursday, April 24, at the Wells Fargo Center for the Arts. 50 Mark West Springs Road, Santa Rosa. 8pm. $26. 707.546.3600. ‘The Marvelous Wonderettes’ runs Friday–Sunday, May 16–June 8 at the Napa Valley Playhouse. 1637 Imola Ave., Napa. Friday–Saturday at 8pm; 2pm matinees on Sundays. $10–$22. 707.255.5483.

The Killer Corn

Granted, when 50 tortillas cost $2 to buy, and making them right can take a full day, practicality wins out much of the time. But many diners only know the Taco Bell–ized version of the tortilla, and these flavorless vehicles for meat and guacamole just don't give the ancient food that powered a civilization for hundreds of years the respect...

Kachina Cult Cab

I'm not breaking any news reporting that yet another couple packed in the high-tech life to rusticate in the vineyards. Kachina Vineyards owners Greg (shown) and Nancy Chambers gave up fast-paced careers 15 years ago to buy an undeveloped parcel in the benchlands above Dry Creek Valley. And, yes, they built a little Tuscan-style winery with artfully exposed brick and...

Wish I Was At Coachella!

Did your 2014 Coachella Wristband Ticket Box with stop-action video and radio frequency IDs get lost in the mail? Yea, so did mine. But don't trip on being broke and stuck at home. The first ever Wish I Was At Coachella party is happening tonight at Christy's in downtown Santa Rosa, where homegrown boys DJs Sykwidit and E20 are going...

April 10: Anthony Jeselnik at Cotati’s Green Music Center

Comedian Anthony Jeselnik might be a sociopath. That’s the only way to explain how the razor-sharp humorist could dare say the things he says on his Comedy Central show, The Jeselnik Offensive, or on his recent comedy album Caligula, or on his many appearances on shows like Comedy Central Roast. Finding the funny in tragic times comes easy to...

April 11: Operation Jazz at the Healdsburg Center for the Arts

Operation Jazz is a fixture in the Healdsburg area, a weeklong jazz studies immersion for music students led by pro musicians and capped off by a concert at the Healdsburg Center for the Arts. This year, percussionist and Operation Jazz educator Babatunde Lea leads an ensemble that will perform the music of Miles Davis and John Coltrane. Joining Lea...

April 12-13: Apple Blossom Festival in Sebastopol

Sebastopol’s Apple Blossom Festival is as American as a particular pie, and this year’s fest, now in its 68th year, celebrates the tradition and funky spirit of the weekend event. Adopting “Red, White & Blues” as the theme, the festival kicks off with a parade down Main Street on Saturday morning, and continues through Sunday with music from headlining...

April 16-17: Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde at the Robert Louis Stevenson Museum

As universally known as Dracula and as terrifying as Frankenstein, Robert Louis Stevenson’s Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde has been the source of inspiration for a century of adaptations in film, television, theater and comic books. Now the Robert Louis Stevenson Museum presents the 1912 short silent film, Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde, the first known...

Ghost in the Mirror

Mike Flanagan's frightening Oculus mashes two masterpieces, Kubrick's Shining and "The Haunted Mirror" (from the 1945 horror classic Dead of Night), while staying deep in the territory of The Turn of the Screw. This is a horror film so well-crafted that it can tell you the terrifying things it's going to do and still make you jump when it does...

Palm Leaves

Sebastopol's Palm Drive Hospital will likely close its doors by April 28 after the hospital's board of directors voted Monday night, 4–1, to shut down core services at the cash-strapped facility. The board told a crowd of about 250 gathered at the meeting at the Community Church of Sebastopol that it had filed for bankruptcy protection earlier that day. Hospital...

Musical Chairs

'Nunsense . . . is habit forming," sings a chorus of slightly risqué sisters in Dan Goggin's popular musical Nunsense, currently playing in Windsor at the brand-new Raven Players Windsor theater. That remark about "habits" could also apply to a recent habit among North Bay theater companies: changing locations. In the case of the Raven Players, they haven't abandoned their...
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