The title of this edition comes from the subject himself—Thomas Botzler, whose confrontation with death has lent his languaging a stark directness and impact.
“Gravitas” is a word that comes to mind, evoking “graveness” and “weight.” And yet Thomas carries his own tired body with a certain lightness of being. Death has enlightened him.
Thomas has fourth stage (metastatic; spreading) cancer. While stage four cancer is not necessarily terminal, the continued growth of his cancer in treatment and narrowing options have caused Thomas to treat his own cancer as life-ending. This is not an uncommon story. Sixty-five hundred people in the three counties in which this article will be printed are (knowingly or unknowingly) in the last year of their life. Twenty percent of them (one in five of us) will die from cancer.
What is uncommon about Thomas is that he has chosen not to enter into mute seclusion but to enter the public more fully, and share his end of life story with us.
He wants to document his real life for the grandchildren he shares with his wife, Lisa Marie. And he wants to address something that has always bothered him—an American culture of dying and death that refuses to acknowledge the greatest fact of life (that it ends). Here, Thomas stands as an advocate for the dying—and for their families—an example to his grandchildren, and to us.
For the first of two conversations, I visited him at the store he owns and co-curates with Lisa Marie, Local…ish. The concept is in the name. He toured me, and as we spoke we stood between a section containing local wines, beers, ciders and shrubs, and that of a complete selection of biodegradable feminine hygiene products.
Cincinnatus Hibbard: You’re currently in chemotherapy?
Thomas Botzler: Yes, I am in my third week in this round—my off week, and I’m more productive.
Tell me, what is the worst symptom of chemo?
Neuropathy. For me, that is a painful tingling in my hands and chest triggered by changes in heat or energy—just clapping can set it off. It’s like wearing a burning hot steel wool sweater.
What do you think happens when we die?
I don’t know. I’m not religious. But I am comfortable not knowing … and I am OK with life just ending. For some people [in his situation], the focus is on the hereafter. For me, my focus is here and the energy I put out here. I really don’t do things I don’t want to do anymore… In that way, cancer has given to me the same thing it has taken away from me—time. I go through my day-to-day and think about, do I want to spend my energy on this? I say no to things a lot—with no obligation or guilt. And if I’m tired, I’m tired…
Thomas, all your life you have moved from one place to the next. But here in West County, at the very end of your life, you have finally found community…
Truly, I thought I was looking for a place to die… But what I found here was a place that I could truly live.
Learn more: Visit Thomas and Lisa Marie Botzler at their store’s new location at 16355 Main St. in Guerneville. Local..ish will be reopening there Feb. 20. Follow this link for links to their social media, Thomas’ documentation of his cancer story and our full length podcast interview. Reach out. linktr.ee/Thomasbotzler.
Donald Trump to Iran’s leaders who are cracking down on protesters: “You better not start shooting, because we’ll start shooting, too.” Iran’s leaders say the protests are the result of foreign meddling.
On the other hand, when Trump was asked about the shooting of Renee Nicole Good by an ICE agent in Minneapolis, he said he’d always protect ICE agents and that protesters there were paid.
Apparently, the theocratic dictators in Iran and the white Christian nationalists in the White House are using similar narrative playbooks.
Trump routinely accuses Democrats of improper funding of their campaigns, and congressional member Gerald E. Connolly, ranking member of the Committee on Oversight and Government Reform, finally issued a blunt call-out of that hypocrisy:
“If Donald Trump was at all serious about cracking down on foreign corruption of U.S. elections, he would start by taking the For Sale sign off his own back. Selling access and influence is the defining feature of the Trump White House.”
Do MAGA voters care if their man claims that he is commander-in-chief bombing another sovereign nation to stop drugs from coming into our country, even as he pardons a former leader of another country convicted of overseeing literally tons of illegal drugs smuggled into the U.S.?
Donald J. Trump is the epitome of hypocrisy, proven on an ongoing basis by the gulf between what he says one day and does the next. The examples are so numerous, they will fill entire books.
This is not leadership; this is a man who conned his way into controlling the most powerful military in world history, and who bullies friend and foe until they vote how he demands they vote. His ego is so fragile and yet so easily inflamed that even a Nobel Peace Award recipient frames her award and presents it to him in an obvious obsequious and ingratiating gesture, which he comes to expect.
Donald Trump is not an appropriate role model nor leader. His vision is nothing but greed and domination over others, exactly the opposite of what we need now. Impeach, convict, remove.
Dr. Tom H. Hastings is coördinator of conflict resolution BA/BS degree programs at Portland State University.
A middle-aged British woman, wife, and mother wonders whatever became of herself and sets out to rediscover life in Willy Russell’s Shirley Valentine. Jennifer King stars in the one-woman show now running on the Rotary Stage in the Sonoma Community Center through Feb. 22.
We meet Shirley in her Liverpool home kitchen where she’s preparing a dinner of chips and egg for her (unseen) husband. Shirley spends a lot of time these days talking to her kitchen wall,as her children are grown and out of the house and her husband isn’t the most communicative person.
Shirley’s been given an opportunity to travel by a friend, something she’s always dreamed about. She wants to drink wine in the country where the grapes were grown, and a trip to Greece with her friend just might be the ticket. She wants the opportunity to be the Shirley Valentine she once was.
We learn about Shirley through the stories she tells about her youth, her schooling, her friends, her family, and… sex. She talks a lot about sex. Her frustration with life is palpable. When one finds oneself in a rut, it’s fair to review how one got there in the first place.
The first half of the play is all about Shirley building up the strength to take the trip to Greece. The second is what happens when she gets there. It should come as a surprise to anyone that Shirley gets her groove back.
King commands the stage from the get-go, bringing the audience into Shirley’s life through gentle humor and compelling storytelling and never letting them go. It’s a very human performance.
Set designer Laurynn Malilay makes great use of the space. The functional kitchen set is nicely detailed and the transition of the space from Liverpudlian kitchen to seaside Greek resort works well.
Director Sharon Winegar leads an all-female team in bringing an (interestingly enough) male playwright’s take on a woman’s mid-life crisis to life. Russell believed so strongly in his character that he actually performed the role for three weeks early in its run when the actress cast took ill.
While the character is certainly female and a great deal of the issues Shirley struggles with are female-centric (Particularly on the subject of sex. Be prepared to hear the word “clitoris” a lot.), it would be a mistake to label Shirley Valentine as strictly as “a woman’s play”. What person of a mature age hasn’t looked back at the regrets in their life? Who hasn’t toyed with the idea of a re-start or re-invention?
You may not leave the theater and book that trip to a far-flung place you’ve always thought about taking.
But you’ll think about it.
‘Shirley Valentine’ runs through February 22 on the Rotary Stage at Andrews Hall in the Sonoma Community Center, 276 E. Napa St., Sonoma. Thurs – Sat, 7:30pm. Sat & Sun, 2pm. $25–$42. 866.710.8942. sonomaartslive.org.
Singer-songwriter-composer-trumpeter Sarah Wilson—a Healdsburg native and Petaluma resident—celebrates her “defiantly buoyant music” from her new album “Incandescence” with a Valentine’s Day Album Release Concert on Saturday, February 14 at Della Fattoria in Petaluma.
The concert features her Bay Area ensemble Brass Tonic featuring alto saxophonist Kasey Knudsen, trombonist Mara Fox, guitarist John Schott, bassist Lisa Mezzacappa, and drummer Jason Levis.
Some may note that it’s perhaps unusual to see a female composer whose instrument is the trumpet but Wilson says it’s not as uncommon as one might think and that her journey started as a 10-year-old.
Wilson says, “I picked up the trumpet at Healdsburg Elementary School and continued through junior and high school playing in school bands led by Lew Sbrana, a legendary music teacher in the Healdsburg public school system. That was my first introduction to marching band music, which for me morphed later into a reverence for New Orleans street marching music.”
When asked what it was about the trumpet that excited her at this early age, she adds, “I was drawn to the trumpet because I grew up hearing live horn sections in pop music I was listening to, artists like Stevie Wonder and Earth, Wind & Fire. The disco and funk eras had these incredible live horn sections and the trumpet in that music drew me right in. Most of the girls in my school headed for the flutes and clarinets, but I beelined to the trumpet” she laughs.
Wilson has certainly used her musicianship as a way to have a pretty amazing lifes journey thus far. After graduating from UC Berkeley with a degree in Anthropology, she joined Bread and Puppet Theater based in Vermont. After touring with that group for 2 years, she moved to New York City.
Wilson says, “I was living in New York City in the early 1990s and absorbed the Downtown Music scene where jazz and improvised music were flourishing. It was an incredibly dynamic, vibrant scene. I was going out to shows all the time and hearing [avant garde] Downtown Jazz artists like Henry Threadgill, Myra Melford, Steve Coleman and John Zorn but was also listening to a lot of Afro-Cuban music and even Eastern European folk music.” From there, she started studying with various trumpet teachers before landing a composing gig at Lincoln Center for the Arts. Wilson notes, “It was not a typical path of my colleagues who often came out of music conservatories.”
Also perhaps unusual is the choice of Petaluma’s fantastic bakery and café as the spot for an album release show. Wilson, who returned to the area in spring of 2024 says, “I live in Petaluma and love Della Fattoria. Not only is it a great bakery and restaurant but has such a great vibe. They’re hosting curated music concerts every so often so it’s an honor to be able to perform here. I also have childhood connections to staff so it feels like family to me.”
The choice for a Valentine’s Day Show also came together fairly naturally after Wilson was approached by Della Fattoria owners. Wilson says they “approached me about playing a gig and Valentine’s Day naturally fell to the top of our list. Why not? Let’s celebrate how much we love music on a holiday of love.” She adds “also, it’s a great activity for Valentine’s Day which is so ripe for expectation and pressure. Instead, come sit with us, escape to a magical place, go on a musical journey.”
Tickets for the event are on sale now for $49.87 and there will be beer, wine and light snacks. For more information, visit sarahwilsonmusic.com
I have a question I never imagined I’d have to ask in the United States. Not, “Are you worried about where the country is heading?” We’re past that. It’s a question I keep asking myself—and now I’m asking you:
What has to happen before you actively push back at a government transforming into an authoritarian state before our eyes?
Because here’s what haunts me: law, decency and truth are all buckling—and far too many people are still waiting until they’re personally threatened before they act. They’re waiting, as if democracy collapses suddenly, instead of the way it usually unravels: quietly, gradually—one normalized outrage at a time.
So the question is: How will you know when the United States has crossed the line?
I keep hearing the same inadequate answers: “I don’t know.” “I’m not political.” “I just want to live my life.”
But authoritarianism doesn’t ask permission. It doesn’t say, “Excuse me, we’re about to end your rights. Is this a good time?” It sells itself as “order,” “security,” “patriotism.” And once it settles in, it sells something else: fear.
So, beginning with myself, I ask again—more personally: Is there a number of U.S. citizens who have to be killed—or disappeared—before we say the words dictatorship or fascism out loud? What if the government begins spiriting away children? What if five year olds can be taken without due process—snatched from school, from home, from a parent’s arms? Would that be your line?
Because by the time the proof is undeniable, the system has already changed. The twisted genius of authoritarianism is simple: It doesn’t need to convince everyone. It only needs to convince enough people to wait.
Wait for the courts. Wait for the next election. Wait for the next news cycle. Wait until it hits your zip code. Wait until it hits your child. Wait until it hits your body.
And that’s when I ask the question that echoes through every authoritarian society:
Which side are you on?
Rob Okun is editor emeritus of ‘Voice Male,’ which has long chronicled the profeminist men’s movement.
Chef Armando Navarro has guided the kitchen at El Dorado Kitchen, the signature restaurant within El Dorado Hotel & Kitchen in downtown Sonoma, since 2011.
With nearly three decades of culinary expertise, he crafts seasonally inspired California fare highlighting ingredients from nearby farms and artisan producers, honoring the area’s abundant agricultural heritage.
His culinary philosophy emphasizes clarity, accessibility and refined execution—all infused with a wine country perspective that defines each plate. Chef Armando Navarro has guided the kitchen at El Dorado Kitchen, the signature restaurant within El Dorado Hotel & Kitchen in downtown Sonoma, since 2011. , celebrated for its reliability and warmth.
Born in Michoacán, Mexico, Navarro built his culinary groundwork through formal education and global stages, bouncing from coast to coast while absorbing the precision demanded by Michelin-level operations within America’s most distinguished fine-dining circles.
Finally returning westward, he held positions at celebrated San Francisco venues Jardinière and Masa’s, then became chef de cuisine at Redd in Yountville. A stint as executive chef at Larkspur Restaurant in Vail, Colorado followed, where he introduced his California sensibility to resort guests before arriving at El Dorado Kitchen.
Deeply embedded in Sonoma’s fabric, Navarro champions the team he’s nurtured throughout the years, many advancing under his guidance. He prioritizes fostering a collaborative, respectful workplace equally as much as delivering exceptional cuisine—a dedication that extends to the restaurant’s devoted patrons whose enduring relationships continually influence his culinary direction. And his special Valentine’s Day Prix Fixe Menu could be the ticket come Feb. 14.
Amber Turpin: How did you get into this work?
Armando Navarro: Growing up in Michoacán, Mexico, my connection to food began early and stayed with me as I found my way into the kitchen. Formal training at the Napa Valley Cooking School, followed by an apprenticeship at The Grand Palace in Switzerland, helped shape my discipline and respect for technique.
After I returned to Napa in 1999 as executive sous chef at Auberge du Soleil, my belief in letting ingredients and seasonality guide my work led me to New York City five years later, training in some of the country’s most esteemed kitchens, like Le Bernardin, Jean-Georges and Daniel by Daniel Boulud.
Did you ever have an ‘aha’ moment with a certain beverage? If so, tell us about it.
Yes. On a trip to Oaxaca, Mexico, I was introduced to an Oaxacan mocha that truly impressed me. The Oaxacan chocolate added a special twist—spicy, rich and wonderfully complex.
What is your favorite thing to drink at home?
Dark roast coffee, no milk, in the morning. At night, a hot tea infusion made with ginger, lemon peels and a dash of black pepper.
Where do you like to go out for a drink?
The Plaza Bistro in Sonoma.
If you were stuck on a desert island, what would you want to be drinking (besides fresh water)?
Watermelon Agua Fresca.El Dorado Hotel & Kitchen, 405 First St. W, Sonoma. 707.996.3030. eldoradosonoma.com.
ARIES (March 21-April 19): “The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them,” wrote Ernest Hemingway. This Valentine season, I propose you experiment with his approach. Take a smart risk with people who have shown glimmers of reliability but whom you haven’t fully welcomed. Don’t indulge in reckless credulity, just courageous and discerning openness. Be vulnerable enough to discover what further connection might bloom if you lead with faith rather than suspicion. Your willingness to believe in someone’s better nature may help bring it forth.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Taurus singer Barbra Streisand addressed her legendary perfectionism. She said that truly interesting intimacy became available for her only after she showed her dear allies her full array of selves, not just her shiny, polished side. In alignment with astrological omens, I encourage you to experiment with the daring art of unfinished revelation. Let the people you care for witness you in the midst of becoming. Share your uncertainties, your half-formed thoughts and your works in progress. Surprise. Your flaws may prove as endearing as your achievements.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Author Anaïs Nin wrote, “Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.” I believe this understanding of camaraderie should be at the heart of most Geminis’ destinies. It’s your birthright and your potential superpower to seek connections with people who inspire you to think thoughts and feel feelings you would never summon by yourself. You have an uncanny knack for finding allies and colleagues who help you unveil and express more of your total self. Now is a good time to tap further into these blessings.
CANCER (June 21-July 22): Poet David Whyte said that “heartbreak is unpreventable.” It’s “the natural outcome of caring for people and things over which we have no control.” But here’s the redemptive twist: Your capacity to feel heartbreak proves you have loved well. Your shaky aches are emblems of your courageous readiness to risk closeness and be deeply affected. So let’s celebrate your tender heart not despite its vulnerability but because of it. You should brandish your sensitivity as a superpower.
LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Choreographer Twyla Tharp said she fell in love with her husband partly because “he was the only person who didn’t seem impressed by me.” I will extrapolate from that to draw this conclusion: Our most valuable allies might show their most rigorous respect by seeing us clearly. This Valentine season, Leo, I invite you to test the hypothesis that being thoroughly known and understood is more crucial than being regularly praised and flattered. Enrich your connections with the perceptive souls who love you not for your highlight reel but for your raw, genuine self.
VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): The famously kind and caring author Anne Lamott confessed, “I thought such awful thoughts that I cannot even say them out loud because they would make Jesus want to drink gin straight out of the cat dish.” That’s a liberating insight. She revealed that even kind, caring people like her harbor messy internal chaos. This Valentine season, Virgo, I dare you to share a few of your less-than-noble thoughts with soulful characters whom you trust will love you no matter what. Let them see that your goodness coexists with your salty imperfections. Maybe you could even playfully highlight the rough and rugged parts of you for their entertainment value. What’s the goal? To deepen spirited togetherness.
LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): How do we eagerly and daringly merge our fortunes with another person while maintaining our sovereign selfhood? How do we cultivate interesting togetherness without suppressing or diluting our idiosyncratic beauty? In some respects, this is a heroic experiment that seems almost impossible. In other respects, it’s the best work on the planet for anyone who’s brave enough to attempt it. Luckily for you Libras, this is potentially one of your superpowers. And now is an excellent time to take your efforts to the next level of heartful grittiness.
SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): Here’s a quote by the character Carrie Bradshaw from the TV show Sex and the City: “The most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you that you love, that’s fabulous.” I invite you to make this a prime meditation, Scorpio. To begin, get extra inspired by your own mysterious beauty: captivated by your own depths, fascinated by your mysterious contradictions and delighted by your urge for continual transformation. The next step is to identify allies and potential allies who appreciate the strange magnificence you treasure in yourself. Who devoutly wants you to fulfill your genuine, idiosyncratic soul’s code? Spend the coming weeks enriching your connections with these people.
SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): This Valentine season, I propose that you infuse your intimate life with a fun dose of playful curiosity. Visualize your beloved allies, both current and potential, as unfolding mysteries rather than solved puzzles. Ask them provocative questions you’ve never thought to ask before. Wonder aloud about their simmering dreams and evolving philosophies. (Brezsny’s Togetherness Rule #1: When you think you’ve figured someone out completely, the relationship withers.) In fact, let’s make this one of your assignments for the next five months: Heighten and nurture your nosiness about the beautiful people you love. Treat each conversation as an expedition into unexplored territory. (Brezsny’s Togetherness Rule #2: A great way to stoke their passion for you and your passion for them is to believe there’s always more to discover about each other.)
CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): Ecologists studying symbiosis know that successful partnerships aren’t always between similar organisms. Some bonds link the fortunes of radically different creatures, like clownfish and sea anemones or oxpeckers and buffalo. Each supplies resources or protection the other lacks, often assuring they live more successfully together than they would on their own. This is useful information for you right now. At least one of the allies you need looks nothing like you. Their genius is orthogonal to yours, or they have skills you don’t. The blend may not be comfortable, but I bet it’s the precise intelligence you need to achieve what you can’t accomplish alone.
AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Poet Mary Oliver asked her readers, “Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” This Valentine season, I propose a collaborative version of this prod: Ask those you care for to help you answer Oliver’s question, and offer to help them answer it for themselves. Now is an excellent time to act on the truth that vibrant intimacy involves the two of you inspiring each other to fulfill your highest callings. Do whatever it takes to make both of you braver and bolder as you learn more about who you are meant to be.
PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): Can you care for stressed people without making it your duty to rescue them? Can you offer support without being taken advantage of? I hope so, Pisces. Life is inviting you to be more skilled about expressing your love without compromising your own interests. How? First, offer affection without signing up for endless service. Second, don’t let your empathy blur into entanglement. Third, monitor your urge to care so it doesn’t weaken your sovereignty. Your gift for soothing others’ struggles evokes my deep respect, but it’s most effective when it’s subtle and relaxed. Give people room to carry out their own necessary work.
Homework: What fresh, bold action on behalf of love could you take? Newsletter. FreeWillAstrology.com
Feb. 17 ushers in the Chinese Lunar New Year, and this one is coming hot. The Year of the Fire Horse is a rare beast—traditionally associated with momentum, bold moves and a kind of kinetic charge (not to mention flames galore).
Here in the North Bay, where Chinese history and culture have long been woven into the fabric of the region (sometimes with a complicated yet vibrant history), the Lunar New Year brings a variety of community rituals, embodied practices, performances, food and fun.
The Fire Horse doesn’t ask for restraint so much as awareness. And fittingly, the North Bay answers with a slate of celebrations that harness that energy. What follows is a curated selection for one’s unbridled enjoyment.
Year of the Horse: Chinese New Year Sound Healing Journey
One may join host Chris Young-Ginzburg of Grove Circle Healing and her co-host, Heather Star, to celebrate the Chinese New Year with sound, intention and renewal.
6–8pm, Tuesday, Feb. 17, Energy Wave Center, 120 Pleasant Hill Ave. N., Ste. 330, Sebastopol. Tickets $40; attendance is very limited. More information at energywavecenter.com/horse.
City of Fairfax Lion Dance Performance
The Marin Chinese Cultural Association presents a Lion Dance Performance, free and open to the public. The Lion Dance is typically performed to celebrate the Lunar New Year as a way to ward off evil spirits while bringing good luck, joy and prosperity, all things we are in definite need of these days.
11am–noon, Saturday, Feb. 21, Town Hall Plaza, 525 San Anselmo Ave., San Anselmo. Free and open to the public. More information at mcca.blog.
Chinese New Year Lion Dance at Larkspur Library
Not ones to let the Fairfax Library have all the fun, the Larkspur Library will also be having a celebratory Lion Dance on Saturday, Feb. 21. The Lion Dance is a combination of martial arts and dance movements and typically begins with a cai qing (plucking the greens) ceremony, where the lion “eats” green vegetables representing wealth, and then spits them out to symbolize spreading good fortune.
Of course, Napa Valley will be adding wine to their festivities with a Lunar New Year 2026 Celebration. This occasion, or Tết (short for Tết Nguyên Đán), marks the most important, sacred and widely celebrated holiday in Vietnam and for its diaspora. The event is open to all ages and will feature food, wine and revelry.
4–7pm, Saturday, Feb. 21, RD Winery, 3 Executive Way, Napa. Open to all ages. More information at napavalley.wine.
Chinese New Year: Heritage Ritual
Sebastopol’s Soft Medicine will celebrate the Lunar New Year with Qigong, Chinese Astrology, Gong Fu Cha tea service and more body movement with traditional dance performances with Cat and Ember Luna, a sound bath by Xuun and a bass and Guzheng set courtesy of Shelajit.
7–10pm, Thursday, Feb. 19, Soft Medicine, 186 N. Main St., Ste. 120, Sebastopol. More information at softmedicinesebastopol.com.
Celebrate Chinese New Year at Empress M
Foodies may rejoice and fuel up for the New Year at Napa’s Empress M. The restaurant celebrates the Year of the Fire Horse with a “Fun & Feast Lunch Menu” featuring premium dishes such as fish maw soup, special royal chicken, abalone with mustard greens, dim sum and golden egg tart for dessert. Plus, there will be dancing and an appearance by chef Marin Yan. Noon–2:30pm, Saturday, Feb. 22, Empress M, 221 Silverado Trail, Napa. Limited tickets available. For more information and tickets, head to empressm.us.
Here, journalist and organizer Cincinnatus Hibbard offers the second of two sneak peeks at elements of his forthcoming book, ‘Love is The Answer.’
Part one of the previously published piece (headlined, ‘The Word We Need,’ and available on our website) ends with a choice between love and fear, in this life, and in the present political moment. In the past, as Hibbard suggests, love was not considered a viable choice—perhaps because it was ill defined—vague, misty, numinous. Here, he defines what love is, and why it is the answer. —Editor
I will now undrape for you a defined definition of love (in its mystical aspect).
It flashes out. In its form, this definition is a list—a list of qualities and traits bound in complex (a red cut jewel beyond price).
Attend, lovers—just as “love is the answer,” love is the answers. Each quality of love is a direct answer to a different problem (in these challenging times). As you read each of these traits, think of their binary opposites—they are the qualities of fear, and “the system” itself is defined.
Love is Otherworldly.
Love is a realm and a world apart. Recall being in bed with your lover and young love, and feeling that the screaming world was so far away. This new world is uncanny, strange and new. Not because it is upside down, but because it is right side up.
Love is Gentle and Tender.
Love is Peaceful.
Let me define this aspect of love through its antithesis, fear. Power (really, fear) is in competition with everyone. And absolute power is at war with everyone, and indeed at war with everything—all of creation. Everything is a threat because power is afraid of everything. In a state of love, we are, if transiently, at harmony with everything.
Love is Slow.
Love is Timeless.
In this world defined by fear, we are ruled by the ticking clock, by calendars, by schedules filling with appointments and deadlines until the staccato pace of life is taken at a run. When love is embodied, time is suspended. The power of clocks is broken. You step into a realm that is timeless and eternal.
Love is a True Destination.
When you chase status and ambition, there is no destination, no rest. You are forever running (scared). Attend. Love is the only thing in the universe that has the quality of arriving at a true destination—it is the place of rest and repose. Which is why we call love “home.”
Love is Magic.
Real magic is wonder—wonder for the real, everyday miracles of life. Love brings you into a child-like state of awe.
Love is Euphoric.
In this corrupt world, damaging drugs are used to approximate euphoria. But unlike drugs, love does not degenerate mind, body and soul. Love can be used for euphoria every day, and it makes you healthier.
Love is Healing.
If you want to undo the bodily ravages of cortisol (the stress hormone), try oxytocin (the love hormone). Love restores the tissues.
Love is Healed.
Transient love allows you to experience what it is to be whole and complete in yourself, previewing the end (the destination) of your trauma healing journey.
Love is Connection and Omni-Connectiveness.
Love is Union and Unity.
Love is Abundant.
Love is Satiated.
Nothing to do, nowhere to go—love satisfies and fulfills as nothing else can. Power (fear) is a hungry ghost whose yearnings and appetites can never be appeased.
Love is Grateful.
Love is Accepting.
Love is Ego Death.
In all ages, a willingness to die (for a child or a lover or a sacred cause) has been the greatest test and expression of love. The ultimate sacrifice is made and made without hesitation because, in love the lover has experienced “ego death.” In love, there is a detaching from ego, and a willing shedding of property and land and personal titles, jobs, roles, reputation, one’s story and one’s name—and even one’s body—one’s life.
In love, they fall away like a mask and draping disguise, leaving all that remains—spirit, soul or just a pure loving essence…
Love is Liberation and True Freedom.
Love is Fearless.
Love is Safe.
Again, we chase wealth and status because power appears to be the place of safety in this unsafe world. But that is illusory—there is no safety in this world. Only in a state of love can we feel truly safe—perhaps because we are at peace with losing all our wealth and status.
Love is Sacred.
I once attempted to define what is sacred to me. Ask yourself, what is sacred in this profane world? To me, it is the moments of deep vulnerable connection (love) and things charged with the associations of love (family photos, hand-made gifts, love letters and wedding rings).
Love is Perfect and Perfection.
That closes the open list. In summary, love is otherworldly, peaceful, tender, slow, timeless, a true destination, euphoric, magic, healing, healed (whole), connected, abundant, satiated, grateful, accepting, egoless, liberated, fearless, safe, sacred and perfection. And in contrast—the contrast of opposed antitheses, power (fear) is worldly, violent, harsh, fast, timed, without destination or rest, hurt, disenchanted, sickening, incomplete, isolated, in a state of scarcity, ungrateful, rejected and rejecting, egotistical, scared, imprisoned, unsafe, corrupt and imperfect.
Love is the Answer
On a narrative note, the last section is the note I sent to those two operators (in part one) the day after our meeting—the morning after my late night revelation (intellectual orgasm).
Recall those two interlocking social problems that those players brought me—those of over-consumption and over-work. Recollect that we had been at an impasse—we had no solution that didn’t seem to make things worse. Now take those two issues, and make a longer list of all the intractable problems of the world. With our fears and anxieties, we can extend that list almost without limit.
There’s environmental degradation and mass extinction, political polarization, immigration and human trafficking, congressional deadlock, inequality and fascism, international rearmament (etc., etc., etc). They are all impasse issues, and for now, they are all getting worse—as trends you can follow them, like fuses, to a general explosion, and a future where all is night.
CONVOCATION With his forthcoming book, ‘Love is The Answer,’ author Cincinnatus Hibbard sets out to rally and convene the forces of love (against power [fear]). But first he must himself join them, by overcoming his own fear, and skepticism about love. Photo by Loren Hansen,
Tranquilo, lovers. Have another look at the 21 bound qualities of love. While not a direct solution, I ask you—can you think of a single social issue or conflict that would not be eased, loosened, soothed, smoothed and remedied, if not outright cured, by a visitation by these 21 loving qualities? Consider the effects of (re)connection and egolessness on our politics alone…
As here defined, definitively, love reveals itself as the all-medicine. Love is the panacea to cure all of what ails this sick—and dying world.
Here and now—at long last, we can declare that Love is The Answer. That night, I shouted it into the darkness—eureka. I have found it.
…And yet, somehow, the changes worked by love are more than a cure … they amount to a total transformation. Enclose the list of love in the shell of conceptual totality by drawing a round circle from its last quality, “perfection,” back to its first quality, “otherworldliness,” taking them all in. Break that first word into bits—it becomes “other world,” and “another world.” …Love is not simply de-escalation or reform capitalism—love contains within it the seed of a new world…
…But out of fear, the old world and its powers will stand up to defend the status quo—with fearsome tooth and claw (and a lot of guns). So which will win out, love or fear?
Love vs. Fear
At the climax of part one, I posed a choice—the choice between love and fear.
Cut through the noise to the bone. It is the choice that stands before us in this moment
in time—in history—in society—in the rooms and places of countless confrontations—will we choose to love or to fear—and submit or attempt to overpower?
A choice is a conflict within ourselves. And in this, it is a conflict between two. So let us match them. Imagine this choice as two people opposed over any intractable issue.
One embodies the 21 qualities of love, and is unarmed. The other embodies the 21 qualities of fear, but has all of the armaments of power. One has been made saint-like by love, and one has been made monstrous by fear.
Which will win?
Power wins, right? Power is, after all, power—it has the guns and the police and the prisons…
Think again.
In a mystical state of love, a person is made fearless. You can hurt them, but they cannot be harmed—emotionally, they feel true safety. Egoless and unattached, love is quite ready to give its life. Whereas for all its ferocity, power is mortally afraid. Moreover, love has everything power (fear) wants and cannot have (satiety, rest, repose, healing, connection, bliss, etc., etc.). Love is all we want. Power cannot seize these things—they disappear as it closes its heavy fist. But it need not do so, because true love offers these things to “the enemy” freely and compassionately.
Love is unarmed and it is vulnerable, but love has a power—a power that is not power, and a force that is not force. Love overcomes, not by destruction but by defection, by conversion—by embracing “enemies” to unify all.
Love wins. In inner choice and outer conflict, love prevails—so choose love. I have.
There is a quote without attribution that hangs in my home, over my workspace. On a red and pink piece of foam core, it reads, “Love is the revolution everyone is waiting for. And when it truly arrives, it will be unresisted.” …Love will be a revolution without guns.
The Problem With the Solution
Definitively, Love is The Answer. …But is there a problem with the solution?
In this fearful world, love is thought to be rare—and perhaps the scarcest and most expensive commodity of all. Whereas fear is seemingly limitless. Perhaps, psychologically speaking, fear is the true product and consumable of the world-capitalist machinery. So… Is love too rare to be the answer?
…I agree that people are afraid. And while I agree that most things (controlled property) are charged with a certain anxiety, I posit the posture that “love is scarce” is actually part of the self-breeding and self-protecting ideology of Power. That is to say, “that’s just what they want you to think.”
In my new dedicated (consecrated) pursuit of love, I have come to believe that love is infinite—and free. To the satisfaction of my own skepticism, I have proven it by accessing love and love’s 21 qualities from little things and unlikely things everywhere—and even from challenging things (like sadness, judgement, heartbreak, litter, childhood trauma, political conflict, contentious issues and even the end of the world—hint, hint; it is only the end of the system of fear and oppression). Though morally complex, aspects of love can be seen in these bad and horrible things with the right lens.
And each time we do so, love becomes more and more abundant. And fear more scarce. And a new world draws closer to its dawning.
Across the chapters of this book, I will show you. And you will see. Follow me. I am not a leader; I am led—in pursuit of love and the mystical experience.
If you and I are ever parted, remember these words:
These are truly scary times. And there is worse to come. There will be disasters and paroxysms of fear as the old world thrashes through its death spirals. Come what may, choose love. Let love be your oracle and guide. Ask love; follow love; be love—it knows the way.
Learn more: Join Cincinnatus Hibbard in his pursuit of love into the next world atloveistheanswerbook.substack.com. There, his book, ‘Love is The Answer,’ is being published as a serial. Subscribers can expect chapters that inspire love, along with audiobook recordings set to ambient electronica, original art, films, tips and tricks, as well as performance dates and workshops leading into his book release and beyond.
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Here, journalist and organizer Cincinnatus Hibbard offers the second of two sneak peeks at elements of his forthcoming book, ‘Love is The Answer.’
Part one of the previously published piece (headlined, ‘The Word We Need,’ and available on our website) ends with a choice between love and fear, in this life, and in the present political moment. In the past,...
