Ask Sydney

April 25-May 1, 2007

Dear Sydney, I recently went on a date with a *very* attractive woman. Things seemed to be going well, we were getting along great and after a good dinner we ended up in bed together. I was thinking, “Wow, what a lucky guy I am, gorgeous chick, good sex,’ etc., when she looks over at me and says, “So, how much money do you make?” We’ve just finished having sex, and these are the first words out of her mouth. So my question is, how come guys always get criticized for objectifying women, but it’s OK for a woman to pick her men based on how much money they make? Maybe she was just making pleasant conversation, but somehow I doubt it. Also, should I keep dating her despite her questionable motives?–Sick of It

Dear Sick: Whoever said it was OK for women to pick their men based on how much money they make? And whoever said that it’s any more (or less) superficial to pick a man based on how much money he makes than it is to pick a woman based on how attractive she is? When it comes to dating and sexual relations, most of us are driven by a certain level of superficiality. Granted, upon occasion, true love can break down even the strongest wall of superficiality. Your attractive gold digger could end up falling for a guy who lives in a trailer, and you could end up finding true love wrapped in a package that you might have originally overlooked because it does not live up to your preconceived notions of beauty. But usually, people date and fornicate within their spheres of comfort. For you, this may mean you only date women who meet a certain physical criteria; for her, this may mean only dating men she knows she won’t end up having to support or who will end up supporting her. One is no worse, no more superficial, no more shallow than the other. But as far as tact goes, your attractive chick gets an F. As for going out with her again, that depends on how much you like her. Maybe she was just trying to be funny?

Dear Sydney, lately, I’ve been increasingly nervous. I keep feeling like something bad is going to happen. I’m not sure if I’m just freaking out for no reason or if I could be having real premonitions of something terrible. I made the mistake of telling my mother, and now she’s calling me every day and pressuring me to go in to the doctor and go on anti-anxiety medication (she says this has been working great for her). I think medicating your anxiety is bullshit, but I’m also tired of being scared all of the time. And what if my premonitions are real, and then I medicate them? How do I know if I’m just having a nervous breakdown or I’m psychic? And what about the pills?–Freaking Out

Dear Freaking: Cut out all caffeine and stick to herbal tea. Get up a little earlier in the morning and spend 15 minutes sitting cross-legged and deep breathing. Get some extra exercise, preferably out of doors. Sure, something bad is going to happen. Something bad always happens. On this we can count. Life goes well for a while, and then it takes a dive for the worse. This is the cycle of life, and you can go around feeling afraid all the time, waiting for that inevitable plunge–the relationship ending, the incurable disease, the highway car wreck, a loved one’s hurt or injury, bronchial irritation caused by Santa Rosa smog–but ultimately, this fear will get you nowhere.

So maybe you are psychic and something bad is on the horizon. So what? What good does it do you to know this if you can’t change the outcome? Focus instead on what you have going for you right now, in this moment. Try to have fun, do exciting things, go more places, turn up your stereo and dance. This is really the only defense any of us has against the ultimate tragedy of life, which is that we’re all going to die. Big bummer, I know. But there it is. As for the pills, that’s a personal decision, one that you should never let anyone else pressure you into. Try every relaxation tactic you can before giving in to the fuzzy gray haze of pharmaceuticals. They may make you feel better for a little while, but they won’t make the world any safer of a place than it already isn’t.

Dear Sydney, my boyfriend loves to watch porn. Early in our relationship, I started watching it with him and pretended to like it because I didn’t want him to think I was a prude. But really I think it’s gross, and I hate watching it. But now I feel like I have to keep pretending to like it because if I admit I don’t, he’ll think I’m a liar *and* prude, which is even worse. How do I deal with this?–Tired of Fake Tits

Dear Tits: Wouldn’t it be nice if our lies would just leave us alone and not come back to haunt us? Persistent little beasts, those lies, like termites really, even after you fumigate the house, there always seems to be one or two left leaving their little shit droppings on the bed. In the scheme of a relationship, yours is such a small lie it almost doesn’t even qualify as such. It’s more of an accommodation. You, partially out of love, have accommodated your boyfriend’s proclivities for the porn world by being accepting. And like all accommodations, there comes a point where one has to draw the line. It seems as if you have reached that point. No big deal. You’re not a prude. Porn is not for everyone. Lots of people have peculiar tastes when it comes to sex, and what works for one person very often does not work for another. That’s what makes us interesting! We’re all different.

There’s no reason for you to burst your boyfriend’s “my girlfriend loves to watch porn” bubble by breaking down and admitting that you’ve been hating it all along. Rather, politely tell him you are ready to try something else. After all, just because you liked watching porn yesterday doesn’t mean you do today. Tell him that you’re not feeling the allure. If he’s totally crushed by this, maybe try looking into some different kind of porn, or even erotica, something that *you* like; don’t let him pick all the movies. On the other hand, pornography can be an addiction. If your boyfriend falls into this category, then this is something you should not have to take on as your own. Someone else’s addictions are no reflection on your adequacy, nor should you feel obligated to partake. And in the future, be sure to let him know that while you are willing to try new things, you aren’t willing to pretend that you like them. If he loves you, he wouldn’t want it any other way.

‘Ask Sydney’ is penned by a Sonoma County resident. There is no question too big, too small or too off-the-wall. Inquire at www.asksydney.com.

No question too big, too small or too off-the-wall.


You’ve Got (Hate) Mail

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It’s a shocker: A-list blogger Kathy Sierra found herself Photoshopped with a thong on her face in a hate post by another blogger.

By Richard Koman

Last month, a strange little episode of grown-up cyberbullying surprised tech culture, the blogosphere and the Internet as a whole. Kathy Sierra, an author and speaker whose special focus is “creating passionate users” for websites, announced on her blog that she was canceling a speaking engagement at the prestigious E-Tech Conference run by Sebastopol-based O’Reilly Media, which is also her publisher.

The reason, which she documented in excruciating detail on her blog, was that some particularly raucous attacks on her had escalated to death threats–in both words and images–which led her to literally fear for her life. A Photoshop image, posted on another site, of Sierra with a noose next to her head along with a user comment that “the only thing Kathy has to offer me is that noose in her neck size.” The last straw, she wrote, was a Photoshop image of Sierra, a striking blond, being suffocated by a pair of thong panties. The image contained the text: “I dream of Kathy Sierra.”

Announcing her cancellation, Sierra went out swinging, naming a number of “A-list” web personalities as responsible or culpable. There were recriminations that she was engaging in character assassination. Hundreds of women spoke up on her blog that they too had also been harassed, humiliated and threatened.

“She could have done more homework. Perhaps she overreacted,” Tim O’Reilly, a leading technology voice and Sierra’s publisher, said in a recent phone interview. “But it’s good that it came out. It pointed out that there’s a misogynistic thread in our society–much more than people realize. It’s not just online. There are zones of nastiness in our society–talk radio, Howard Stern, Rush Limbaugh and the blogosphere. Maybe the difference is just in the code of conduct.”

If the blogosphere’s organic code of conduct is proving insufficient, perhaps a more explicit one could be created. O’Reilly’s impulse was for the blogging community to come together and agree to a code of conduct. It would not be a code to censor, he said, but one of censure. “Shame’s gotten a bad rap in recent years,” he says. It’s not a popular idea. It’s associated with a right-wing attitude, but we need to figure out where is the room for shame.”

Out of this idea–that problem behavior could be solved by the assertion of a group morality–a group of E-Tech attendees discussed what could be done. “The idea that came out was that we have the ability to set standards,” O’Reilly said. Among the precepts: Own your own words and the words you allow on your site. Don’t feed the trolls. And most contentiously, discourage anonymity.

Troubling to many was the fact that O’Reilly created a cute little “Civility Enforced” badge that sites in agreement with the code could post. O’Reilly’s badges, which even look like Western sheriff’s badges, rankled many as Uncle Tim riding into Dodge to bring some law and order to this town and make it safe for honest women. Even A-list blogger Robert Scoble, whose own wife was viciously attacked by trolls, worried that O’Reilly’s status in the industry would exert a subtle pressure to get on board. “Will I still be invited to his conferences if I don’t sign on?” he wondered.

Women being harassed online is no news at all to those who have been there all along. Erotica writer and online personality Violet Blue said in a phone interview, “It definitely happens to lots of women. It’s pedestrian and ordinary at this point. When you provide an opportunity to comment anonymously, it will bring out the worst in anyone. People are saying, ‘Kill the women and fuck them after they’re dead.’ It’s a way of emasculating women.”

Tara Hunt, a blogger who was an earlier target of the same people who threatened Sierra, emphasized in an IM conversation that misogyny on the web and in tech circles goes deeper than such obvious brutality. She points to an online video for startup company Ning, in which CEO Gina Bianchini–a very attractive woman in her 30s–demos the company’s service. Among the user comments: “David: That is one sexy CEO/Demo. She can Ning me anytime!!” “Ed: I thought this was well-done, informative demo.”

Hunt asks, “Is it misogyny? Or just the fact that the technology industry is still so young and clueless about how these comments damage a woman’s ability to function in this space? And these comments further go towards making it ‘OK’ to push women to the edge of this space.”

As a young woman, Hunt has had to make changes to prosper in the tech world. “I was advised by another woman to be less ‘feminine’ if I wanted to be heard–and it worked. Now I’m [seen as] a bitch to some, but it’s a better position, because I’m taken seriously.”

Blue takes exception to Hunt’s willingness to become less feminine to get ahead. “We should be cautioned against thinking that people saying others are sexy is wrong. Celebrations of sexuality should be encouraged. If we don’t, it gives people who threaten others online more power to do so. I don’t see any reason to be less feminine. The more we desexualize ourselves in order to obtain power, the more we allow our sexuality to be used against us. So I’m going to own it.”

Whatever the good intentions of O’Reilly’s proposal, Blue adds, “There’s no add-water instant solution until our wider media culture, including mainstream media, changes its attitudes toward women. We can lead a change to the wider culture, but there’s no magic button.”


Smog Lifter

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April 25-May 1, 2007

Whatever reason Bill Callahan may have for ditching Smog, the moniker he’d performed under for nearly two decades, it was a good move–just as wise as jettisoning the parenthesis he’d attached after briefly billing himself as (Smog) in the late ’90s. (New music groups, take note: Avoid punctuation in band names at all costs.)

Woke on a Whaleheart, Callahan’s 13th album and his first under his given name, is a cozy affair with an old-timey feel. That its creator is now plain old Bill Callahan seems fitting. Callahan established himself with home recordings that he spun like cocoons in a flat, deep voice that told enigmatic tales of woe. After a string of moves from city to city, he’s currently residing in Austin, Texas, slowly allowing rays of hope to penetrate his songs’ often troubled landscapes.

Redemption runs through Woke on a Whaleheart like a golden thread. On the album’s gorgeous opening track, “From the Rivers to the Ocean,” Callahan repeatedly calls, “Have faith in wordless knowledge,” assuring us to dive neck-deep in the muck. It’s never quite clear just what we need to be forgiven for other than being human. “The wagon rolls like an old millstone / Driving bad deeds six feet deep,” he sings on “The Wheel,” before adding his desire to make his home “inside a turning wheel bound for good.” It’s godless gospel.

The shamelessly pretty arrangements of Neil Michael Hagerty (formerly of Royal Trux) flesh out Callahan’s meandering rivers of lyrics with tinkling piano and soothing violins, imparting a glossy studio sheen to songs whose sing-and-repeat structure is rooted equally in the Original Carter Family, Pete Seeger and the Rolling Stones. The result is like the seat of an old wooden chair whose smoothness comes from sheer decades of use and the refusal of what is timeworn to become weary.

Callahan’s vocal delivery and dark sensibility dispel any danger of all this hopefulness coming off as cloying. His voice sounds like a mistake and is as heavy as a cast-iron skillet. When Callahan sang backing vocals on girlfriend Joanna Newsom’s highly curlicued 2006 album Ys, the effect of his leaden pipes amidst the swooning strings was perfectly disarming, serving a well-needed jolt to the lushness of the musical proceedings. Newsom does not return the favor with a guest appearance on Woke on a Whaleheart, though Deani Pugh-Flemmings’ well-placed gospel backing vocals carry a churchy tinge.

Nine songs long, Woke on a Whaleheart is perhaps too short, but it’s lavishly short, not punk-rock short, leaving the listener yearning for more. The best solution is to simply play it twice in a row.


News Briefs

April 25-May 1, 2007

Reclaiming May Day

Forget dancers weaving around maypoles or communist parades of weaponry. After a highly successful May Day last year, immigrants and their supporters both in the North Bay and nationwide hope this May 1 will once again raise awareness of immigrants’ fears and concerns, underscore how much they contribute to this nation’s economy, rally support for a living wage and rational laws, and energize the creation of much-needed changes. “May Day, or May 1st, is celebrated internationally as the day of the worker,” explains Evelina Molina of the Committee for Immigrant Rights of Sonoma County. “Immigration is inseparable from issues relating to the working class. Immigration is also a human rights issue, which unites us with the global family on May Day.”

Supporters will gather at 11am Tuesday, May 1, in the Roseland district of Santa Rosa (665 Sebastopol Road). At noon, they’ll make close to a two-mile march through downtown, ending in Juilliard Park for a family unity day with multicultural music, speakers and seminars. Organizers are also calling for a one-day economic boycott. “No shopping, no work, no economic activity,” Molina notes. “Shop and pack your lunch before the date because there won’t be any purchases that day.” Last year, an estimated 15,000 people gathered in Santa Rosa. “They came from as far away as Ukiah,” Molina says. “They came from Sonoma, St. Helena, Calistoga.” But recent immigration raids in Marin County have sparked strong fears, and there’s no way to tell if it will prompt people to stay home this year or show up to express their outrage. “It’s hard to gauge the pulse,” Molina says.

Marin County is holding a May Day vigil from 6am to 8am in San Rafael’s Canal district and a 6pm community forum at Pickleweed Community Park, and many Marin residents are expected to attend the May Day marches in Santa Rosa or San Francisco. Recent Immigration and Customs Enforcement raids in San Rafael and Novato were chilling, says Tom Wilson, executive director of the Canal Community Alliance. “There’s definitely community fear, so we don’t know what the turnout will be. We want to bring awareness out, but we’re trying to be responsive to the community, because they’ve been hit hard.”

Wherever the venue, organizers of May Day activities stress that these events are open to anyone who supports immigrant workers.

“This is a social movement,” Molina stresses. “It’s not just about May 1. It’s about May 2 and beyond. We realize that immigration and discrimination is not going to end with the march. It’s a time to get together on what we agree on and what we oppose as a community.”


Moz Deft

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music & nightlife |

Currently carnal: Um, Morrissey has kegs between his legs.

By David Sason

I agree. It’s pretty amazing that Morrissey is coming to Santa Rosa on May 2. The pompadoured post-punk crooner, who’s been a spokesman for outcasts and disaffected youth worldwide and a sexually ambiguous scourge to the Western establishment for a quarter century, is more divisive than other artists the Wells Fargo Center usually hosts. And the sunny, spacious environs of Sonoma County couldn’t be further from the dank, industrial hometown of Manchester that the singer’s always embodied (even if he’s lived in L.A. for most of the last decade).

It’s true that Moz has played the North Bay twice before, but in the midst of very different points on his career trajectory. He played the Phoenix in 1997 in support of his disappointing release Maladjusted. When he played the then-named Luther Burbank Center in 2002, he was in career purgatory. With no album to promote or even a record contract by which to feel constricted, Morrissey offered a set chock-full of Smiths and solo favorites. When he launched into “Meat Is Murder,” throngs of middle-aged vegetarians rejoiced at the landmark animal-rights anthem. Indie credibility or not, nostalgia is nostalgia, captured best by his humorous jab at an act scheduled to follow just days later. “For those who don’t know,” he told the crowd, “no, we are not Hall and Oates.”

But there were signs of new life at that show, namely the bouncy tribute to his unlikely Hispanic fan base, “First of the Gang to Die,” and his gentle yet acerbic Mott the Hoople-esque rant “The World Is Full of Crashing Bores.” These songs would help compose 2004’s shimmering You Are the Quarry, an update on a few of his favorite things: isolation as both curse and badge of honor; Victorian-style romantic frustration; and, of course, self-righteous contempt for tyrants both divine and worldly.

The album became Morrissey’s biggest seller ever, and suddenly he was everywhere: in Smiths songs packed into the iPods of a new generation, getting awards from PETA while announcing a boycott of Canada for its seal hunting, reuniting his heroes the New York Dolls and, unbelievably, playing on U.S. radio for the first time in a decade. It seemed like Morrissey’s practice in the art of self-mythmaking had finally reached its zenith. Yet despite a false rumor about a Berkeley show, there were no Bay Area appearances, made worse for his rabid devotees by Quarry‘s tone of impending departure.

But Morrissey did return with last year’s Ringleader of the Tormentors, produced by Tony Visconti in Rome, where Morrissey had recently defected. While not the return to Your Arsenal-like glam rock many hoped for, the symphonic, almost prog-rock set continued his tasteful update of motifs, including a new universal truth for outcasts in “The Youngest Was the Most Loved.” Most satisfying is the rarely seen side of Morrissey–the currently carnal.

Much has been made of his portrayal of love that’s (finally) requited, especially in “Dear God Please Help Me” where he ecstatically moans about the “explosive kegs between my legs” and “spreading your legs with mine in between.” Gladly, all this nookie hasn’t diminished his clever commentary on world affairs, appearing most potently in the opener “I Will See You in Far Off Places,” a Middle Eastern-tinged tale of a distant love with whom he’ll reunite if, as he says, “the U.S.A. doesn’t bomb you.”

With Modest Mouse’s recruitment of Johnny Marr and Morrissey’s much-publicized legal battles with drummer Mike Joyce, it’s safe to say that the Smiths reunion will never extend beyond old Coachella rumors. And anyway, Morrissey is too much the iconoclast to resign to the inevitable cash-in, something that would truly stain his legacy. His bitterness has served him well in recent years, resurrecting his career, relevance and apparently even his love life.

His return to the North Bay is so much more meaningful this time around, because we’re catching him on the upswing–he doesn’t have to play here. This show makes up for a five-year absence and even the Warfield show announcement that lived for only a few hours back in January. Even if he has another case of what he called “Petaluma throat,” this show is Morrissey’s reciprocation of many locals’ own outpouring of affection. And with nary a bad seat in the intimate house, perhaps fans will recall one of his most famous lyrics: “The more you ignore me, the closer I get.”

Morrissey appears on Wednesday, May 2, at the Wells Fargo Center. Kristeen Young opens. 50 Mark West Springs Road, Santa Rosa. 8pm. $39.50-$65. 707.546.3600.




FIND A MUSIC REVIEW

Ahhh . . .

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Resident Tourist Guide:
Staying at Home to Play in Sonoma, Marin and Napa | 2007 Farmer’s Markets | Calistoga, San Anselmo, Petaluma | Wineries in Sonoma and Napa | Beaches in Sonoma and Napa | Day Spas in Sonoma, Marin and Napa

Compiled by Gretchen Giles

We tread with trepidation into the slippery waters of the day spa round-up. Will we miss some establishments that are more than worthy of mention? You bet. Will we get some of it slightly wrong, perhaps saluting a milk bath that is really milk thistle soak and not in fact an immersion in dairy products? Uh huh.

In fact, we’re sorry in advance.

Caveat clearly written, we push on into the extremely foreign (to us) world of being naked with strangers, getting rubbed by strangers and just having strangers generally tend to one’s own sweet body. As weird as we are (and, yes, we know it), rumor has it that most folks like this stuff.

With that mystery in mind, we herewith offer a service-oriented take on places where you might actually enjoy the day-spa experience.

Amadeus Spa at the Napa Valley Marriott Locals may use the sauna and pool for the day if a treatment has been reserved, which is not a bad way to kill eight hours. Amadeus offers spa lunches, a “Gentlemen’s Paradise” package for the guys and a girlfriend’s group treatment. Romance packages, too. 3425 Solano Ave., Napa. 707.254.3330.

Avance Day Spa One of the few spas we’ve found to have a full slate of services for men, Avance also tackles the gnarly question of waxing for men–“sports” waxing included, shudder–and even offers a facial for the back. For the better half, Mother’s Day specials abound and massages range from sports to pregnancy to a stone treatment combined with facial. 585 Coombsville Road, Napa. 707.226.6822.

Calistoga Massage & Day Spa A perennial “Best Of”of the North Bay readers choice winner, this establishment mixes light dermatological treatment with mani- and pedicures as well as wraps and massages. 1219 Washington St., Calistoga. 707.942.6193.

Calistoga Oasis Spa We’re intrigued by those spas that not only offer mud, massage and wraps but also invoke ritual. The Oasis Spa is one of those, now organizing New Moon rituals, the next to be held on May 16, that help give structure to resolutions and life decisions within the spa environment. Oasis also offers unique massage treatments, including reiki, deep tissue, Trager, reflexology, lomi lomi and champi. 1300 Washington St., Calistoga. 707.942.2122.

Calistoga Spa Hot Springs A family-oriented destination where all of you can take the waters together. Also massage and outdoor mineral baths. 1006 Washington St., Calistoga. 866.822.5772.

Dr. Wilkinson’s Hot Springs Resort One of the older spas, established in 1952 to help seekers take the waters, Dr. Wilkinson’s has stayed up with the times, offering full skin-care treatments as well as hot spring baths, mud baths and rubdowns. New to them is the “Lavender Muscle Melt,” which we are assured does not actually atrophy the strong stuff away. 1507 Lincoln Ave., Calistoga. 707.942.4102.

EuroSpa & Inn Offering a discount to those patrons who show up in hybrid and biodiesel cars, EuroSpa stresses the use of local ingredients and European service. 1202 Pine St., Calistoga. 707.942.6829.

Golden Haven Hot Springs & Spa Mud, mud and more mud as well as European body wraps, facials, foot reflexology and plenty of massage packages. 1713 Lake St., Calistoga. 707.942.6793.

Health Spa Napa Valley Private, hotel-positive services available to the general public. Locals wishing to use all the fitness room, eucalyptus steam rooms, pools and other amenities are charged $25 Monday-Thursday; $40, Friday-Sunday. Reserved treatments include Swedish, stone, open-air and stress-reducing massages, wraps and scrubs. There’s also a seven-hour wellness day that includes a walk, bike ride, yoga and three treatments for a minimum of four people. 1030 Main St., St. Helena. 707.967.8800.

Indian Springs Resort & Spa Hand-sifted ancient volcanic ash from the resort’s own hillside mixed with mineral water springing up onsite is the miracle mixture for this resort’s healing powers. Featuring an Olympic-sized pool filled with thermal water directly from their own grounds that spurts up from four natural geysers. A Buddha pond filled with the geyser’s run-off and a full slate of massage therapies, including for pregnancy, acupressure and craniosacral, are among the offerings. 1712 Lincoln Ave., Calistoga. 707.942.4913.

Lavender Hill Spa Geared for couples, Lavender Hill is a popular destination for honeymooners, lovers and re-igniters. Also featuring girlfriend retreats and mother/daughter specials, Lavender Hill encourages togetherness through double tub rooms and offers a unique milk-based Thai bath that uses white kelp and citrus essences. 1015 Foothill Blvd., Calistoga. 707.942.4495.

Lincoln Avenue Spa Mud is the name of the game at Lincoln Avenue, which offers body mud treatments ranging from herbal mineral (12 Ayurvedic herbs) to sea (kelp) to wine (green tea, wine grapes, grape seed oil) to mint (yup). Facials, scrubs, herbal baths, aromatherapy and massages round out the slate. 1339 Lincoln Ave., Calistoga. 707.942.5296.

Mount View Hotel & Spa Full-service spa featuring all the ordinary rub-down techniques one’s come to expect as well as reiki, grapeseed and seaweed wraps and the “Dr. Hauschka Rhythmical Body Treatment,” which promises to improve digestion and goose the lymph. We dare ya. 1457 Lincoln Ave., Calistoga. 707.942.5789.

Villagio Inn & Spa Welcoming to locals, the spa opens at 7:30am and has co-ed sauna and steam rooms, an outdoor pool and a variety of body services, including several-course “vignette” treatments intended to solace body and soul through a full slate of water, scrubs, wraps or massages. Beauty, foot and hand and waxing treatments also available. 6481 Washington St., Yountville. 707.944.8877.

Asante Day Spa Holistic health and all-natural beauty products are the focus here, with massage and beauty services being just among the offerings. Of note is the full-family massage package, for anyone from pregnant mothers to newborns to teens to oldersters. They do, in fact, also offer a massage package for pets. 1003 Third St., San Rafael. 415.460.6506.

Barefoot & Pregnant Catering to the unique needs of mothers-to-be and postpartum moms, Barefoot terms itself a “maternity spa,” but offers more than just specialized rubdowns, aiming to connect parents and supply such unique items as a belly mask and, of course, plenty of clothing. A rapidly expanding franchise, they have just completed a deal with the Casa Madrona Hotel, moving from their former Larkspur location. 801 Bridgeway, Sausalito. 415.354.8308.

Eden Day Spa Harking back somewhat to the old spas of yore (think Elizabeth Arden and those infamous red doors), Eden is girl-friendly, with Venus being evoked in modern bath-house style. Massage and body work are a mainstay but beauty treatments are emphasized. 541 San Anselmo Ave., San Anselmo. 415.464.9111.

Evo Spa In addition to the bodywork expected at a day spa, Evo is among those day spas that offer guided ritual practices of all kinds. This full-service day spa also has noninvasive facelifts, full-body bronzing, acupuncture, biofeedback and Chinese medicine. 216 Strawberry Village, Mill Valley. 415.383.3223.

Juvenis As with Eden Day Spa, Juvenis is as much about outer beauty as it is massage and body treatments. Cellulite treatment, termed “endermologie,” is their most popular treatment, which claims to increase metabolism by a whopping 300 percent and is said to find some dropping two dress sizes simply through the treatment. Sign us directly up! 2829 Bridgeway, Ste. 202, Sausalito. 415.332.5551.

Safronya Based on traditional Ayurvedic methodologies, this spa concentrates on the purifying faculties of saffron in both metaphor and practice. Spa seekers are encouraged to try everything from the full “queen” packages to simply coming in to take a solitary bath, which may not seem like much unless you’re a new parent or otherwise consumed with the well-being of others. In such an instance, the words “solitary bath” have an almost holy tang. Unlike some day spas, Safronya will also feed you over the course of a day. As with Evo and a few other spas, ritual is emphasized. Safronya, 523 D St., San Rafael. 415.259.0433.

Serenity Day Spa Therapeutic massage from a variety of disciplines is key at Serenity, as is craniosacral balancing, as well as wraps, polishes, waxing and other beauty services. 2725 Northgate Drive, San Rafael. 415.499.9041.

Shibui Gardens What used to be a wild, late-night hot-tub scene in Marin’s peacock-feather-and-cocaine heyday has naturally enough grown up. Still open late in the evening, Shibui indeed still features open-air hot-water soaks that are complimentary after a long massage. 19 Tilapias Ave., San Anselmo. 415.457.0283.

Spa de Novato This establishment will even pick up, drop off and take out to lunch those clients who anticipate being too blessed-out to ambulate, cook or drive. Featuring a full slate of massage and bathes, Spa de Novato also gives haircuts and has a full mani-pedi service. 1305 Grant Ave., Novato. 415.897.4511.

Stellar Spa Specializing in beauty and skin treatments as well a massages and all manner of yummy-sounding applications (Riesling and Chardonnay facial; coconut and lime sugar scrubs), Stellar offers lunch with the purchase of any package. Also, Stellar is among the few day spas to focus exclusively on the fellas, offering a “men’s” package specially targeted to masculine day spa needs. 26 Tilapias Drive, Corte Madera. 415.924.7300.

Tea Garden Springs OK, here’s a new one. In an effort to spread a love of opera, Tea Garden Springs offers a new “Bell Canto Opera Massage” of an hour to an hour-and-a-half in duration, during which favorite arias are part of the treatment; current San Francisco Opera ticket holders get 10 percent off. Billing itself as a “Zen spa,” Tea Garden is inspired by the Chinese tradition of feng shui and offers a full slate of massage styles from around the world. Seeking to supply sustenance in many ways, the spa also has weekly guided meditation as well as personal counseling services. The spa additionally makes community commitment a priority, contributing over $4,000 in services to worthy organizations last year alone. Very cool. 38 Miller Ave., Mill Valley. 415. 389.7123.

Akoia We have it on good authority that an Akoia client reported feeling as if he had taken a “magic carpet ride” during a recent massage at Akoia, and we’re all for honest serotonin bursts here at the Boho. Treatments include massage styles of all kinds (carpet evidently included) as well as a uniqe Thai poultice application that delivers heat directly to specified areas. Seasonal specials currently include the prudent use of chocolate and a two-hour package for men. Scrubs, facials and waxings, too. 452-B Healdsburg Ave., Healdsburg. 707.433.1270.

Alles A European-style day spa, Alles offers Swedish massage as well as reflexology but borrows from the East for such as its Tropical Javanese body scrub, which utilizes rice hulls and nutmeg to revitalize the dermis. Facial treatments are unique to the Old Country, and Alles also has a men’s facial. Waxing, mani-pedi and other beauty treatments available. 380 Windsor River Road, Windsor. 707.838.3223.

Fairmont Sonoma-Mission Inn Spa Pumping their water up from 11,000 feet below the surface, the Sonoma-Mission Inn accesses the very waters that made Boyes Hot Springs, well, so darned hot in the first place. Featuring pools of varying temperatures, this spa is lavishly welcoming to locals. Day use fee is $89 but is waived or reduced depending on whether a local reserves a treatment; using the facility Monday-Thursday equals another discount, and North Bay residents are welcome to take the 7am hikes or 8am bicycle rides that the hotel offers. Bike trips are $30 and include the bike and helmet, water and transport to and from the ride. Truly a hidden gem in our midst, this facility has massages of all types, personalized yoga and pilates, floatation beds and a variety of wellness services that even extend to tarot. All classes are on a drop-in basis. 100 Boyes Boulevard, Sonoma. 707.938.9000.

Garden Spa at MacArthur Place Therapies are limited to “single-note” essential oils such as rose or lavender or even Chardonnay, allowing the visitor to fully experience the aromatherapy properties of the scent chosen. Of note at the Garden Spa is the “Adam” treatment for men only. Couples’ treatments, face peel and unique vegetable wraps (including carrot, pumpkin and greens) round out the slate. At MacArthur Place, 29 E. MacArthur St., Sonoma. 707.938.2929.

Kenwood Inn & Spa The only Caudalie Vinotherapie spa in the country, Kenwood focuses on the healing properties of the grape as discerned by scientists in Bordeaux. Clients are soaked in or wrapped up with Merlot, honey and/or crushed grape seeds before then being massaged with Chardonnay extracts or hot stones. Couples’ packages and a special men’s-only treatment also available. The local’s cost is $35 extra for those not staying at the Inn. 10400 Sonoma Hwy. (Highway 12), Kenwood. 707.833.1293.

Mermaids Spa & Seaweed Bath Shop Tucked into a small building fortunately adjacent to Michelin Guide-winner K&L Bistro, Mermaids specializes in soaking, offering hour-long baths whose price includes a blanket wrap and foot massage. Facials, wraps and massages, too. 115 S. Main St., Sebastopol. 707.823.3535.

New Dawn Day Spa Specializes in massage, body wraps, scrubs and even an hour-long scalp treatment. They also offer a three-day package with three days of facials and massages, polishes and scrubs. 6741 Sebastopol Ave., Ste. 160, in the Gravenstein Station. 707.823.8441.

Osmosis Now all green from top to bottom, Osmosis offers the only cedar enzyme baths in the country. Massage in open-air pavilions, facials and their famous gardens round out some of the spa’s offerings. Of interest to locals is their three-week enzyme cleansing treatment designed to flush the system gently of accumulated toxins over several spa visits and includes personalized lifestyle and nutritional coaching with a supervising physician. Free morning meditation each Thursday at 8am just began for the season. 209 Bohemian Hwy., Freestone. 707.823.8231.

A Simple Touch This spa will close its doors to all but you and your party, allowing for catering and wine in a spa environment with a full slate of massage therapies, facials, scrubs, reflexology, spray tans, hot rocks and wraps. 239 Center St., Healdsburg. 707.433.6856.

Sonoma Spa On the Plaza in Sonoma, this spa warms clients up in the sauna before using mud and massage to warm them on the inside. Look for their Internet specials, which can save almost 50 percent on services, currently aimed at girlfriends and couples. 457 First St. W., Sonoma. 707.939.8770.

The Spa at Hotel Healdsburg This high-end spa just off Healdsburg Plaza specializes in body and face pampering as well as couples’ therapy using products that could probably just as well be served next door at the hotel’s in-house restaurant, the Dry Creek Kitchen. Look for cucumber, mint, Champagne, rose petals and sugar to figure largely. The stylish, modern feel of the house adds to the experience. 327 Healdsburg Ave., Healdsburg. 707.433.4747.


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Museums and gallery notes.


Reviews of new book releases.


Reviews and previews of new plays, operas and symphony performances.


Reviews and previews of new dance performances and events.

Out and About

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Resident Tourist Guide:
Staying at Home to Play in Sonoma, Marin and Napa | 2007 Farmer’s Markets | Calistoga, San Anselmo, Petaluma | Wineries in Sonoma and Napa | Beaches in Sonoma and Napa | Day Spas in Sonoma, Marin and Napa

By Camille F. Queen

Guests are resolutely not necessary when it comes to taking a weekday afternoon off or splurging a whole Saturday on the homely pleasures of, well, home. Here are three of our favorite towns to just wander through, looking idly in shop windows, curiously picking up curios, diving into bookstores, gaping at galleries or just making one long, epic lunch last.

Calistoga: Park at the far west end of Lincoln Avenue and make that street a lifeline. First stop? Just over the bridge, as one falls thankfully into the covered outdoor patio of the Calistoga Inn (1250 Lincoln Ave.; 707.942.4101) where a restorative (nay, medicinal) hand-crafted beer from the Napa Valley Brewing Co. awaits. Those who like a little breakfast before their likker can head directly to the Cafe Sarafornia (1413 Lincoln Ave.; 707.942.0555) where such delicacies as Budapest Coffee Cake ($3) and a blintz/crepe combo ($9.95) await. Breakfast is served all day. Thus fortified, idle down the street for a browse at the Copperfield’s Books (1330 Lincoln Ave.; 707.942.1616) and make a keenly desirous stop at Sole Provider (1409 Lincoln Ave.; 707.942.9999), where deeply expensive loveliness takes the form of clothes, shoes and gorgeous oddities. We’re not much on rubdowns and nudity with strangers, so prefer to end our ramble at the Wappo Bar & Bistro (1226 Washington St., a half block north off Lincoln; 707.942.4712) where the grapevines cover the patio in the summer and eclectic flea market flatware and dishware enliven the table. The spring menu serves a bevy of palates, with Thai influences marrying Indian spicings, Brazilian preps and even such south-of-the-border influences as rellenos.

San Anselmo: Head to the south end of San Anselmo Avenue and begin your tour with a sumptuous stop at Comforts (335 San Anselmo Ave.; 415.454.9840), where the Chinese Chicken Salad is more than a meal; it’s truly a religion. Sean Penn and his wife Robin Wright Penn are regular customers, but who cares? The food is the true star here. Amiably fed, amble north to Shadows (429 San Anselmo Ave.; 415.459.0574), the perfect place to pretend that your (second) husband is a rock star. This wedding dress shop has plenty of beautiful clothes suitable for attracting a mate in the first place, plus an adorable swathe of flower girl dresses. Now fully in dreamland, continue up the avenue to two groovy consignment shops, Sax (629 San Anselmo Ave.; 415.456.6755) and the Wardrobe Exchange (621 San Anselmo Ave.; 415.459.7317), where other people’s cast-offs make good grubbing indeed. Finish the afternoon on the patio at AVA (636 San Anselmo Ave.; 415.453.3407) with a chévre and mushroom flatbread and an excellent glass of local wine.

Petaluma: Where to eat? That’s a real dilemma now as Butter and Egg City has exploded with excellent restaurants. That said, we still like the informal chaos of the Water Street Bistro (100 Petaluma Blvd. N.; 707.763.9563), where one orders at the counter, goes out to an outdoor table and trusts that the smart, beautiful women in the kitchen will eventually fit the food to the face. It generally works. Consignment is also a rage in Petaluma, with the two most reliable stores being the haute design deals at Vicki’s Secret (108 Petaluma Blvd. N.; 707.765.2807) and the land-of-the-cool finds at Zoe (108 Kentucky St.; 707.775.3239), where both women’s and children’s items change at a dizzyingly fast pace. The Heebe Jeebe General Store (46 Kentucky St.; 707.773.3222) and its sister store across the hall, Boomerang, satisfy the human need for quirk, art and nostalgic candy. End the day with the reliable American pleasures of McNear’s (23 Petaluma Blvd. N.; 707.765.2121), which has a front patio perfect for people watching as well as plenty of brews on tap and lawd knows, TV sports inside.



SEARCH AVAILABLE RESERVATIONS & BOOK A TABLE

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Quick dining snapshots by Bohemian staffers.


Winery news and reviews.


Food-related comings and goings, openings and closings, and other essays for those who love the kitchen and what it produces.


Recipes for food that you can actually make.

Letters to the Editor

April 25-May 1, 2007

Another view

I am thrilled that this week the United States Supreme Court upheld the partial-birth abortion ban. It sickens me to think that sucking out a child’s brains at birth was ever considered an option. I’m only 26, and the future state of society is looking black–with even my own State Assembly member Patty Berg trying to legalize something like physician-assisted suicide. I am profoundly thankful that finally somewhere human life is being valued.

Noelle Magnell, Occidental

Palm reading

As a longtime employee of Palm Drive Hospital in Sebastopol, I wish to reassure the residents of west Sonoma County that Palm Drive Hospital is open every day around the clock, and we continue to give excellent care to our patients. We are not lacking in staff or supplies. As a longtime medical/surgical nurse, I see no difference in the quality of patient care that would be attributable to our current financial difficulties.

I know many of you are concerned about the possibility of Palm Drive closing, but I assure you that is not the intention of anyone involved with the hospital. In my 17 years here, there have been many changes and a few crises. Because of the dedication and support of the staff, physicians, volunteers and residents of west Sonoma County, we have stayed open, and we will remain open. The best way to keep Palm Drive open is to use it.

Nancy Kesselring, R.N., Graton

The other michael

(First Bite, April 18) was enjoyable. At first, I thought I’d written it. I’d just been to Rafters for the first time, had a pint of amber and the chicken pesto pizza–exactly the same as writer Michael Shapiro. And my name is Michael! But I’d like to correct a flawed statement in the other Michael’s conclusion. There’s an equally excellent Marin spot where you can “have a big plate and a pint in a comfortable room for under $20.” Check out Iron Springs Pub and Brewery in Fairfax. It never disappoints.

Michael F. MccAuley, Woodacre

Different dictionary?

termed the recent police actions “homicides” (The Byrne Report, “Killed Again,” April 18). Given that these incidents are under investigation and the facts are unknown, this wording is misleading, inflammatory and libelous. Unfortunately, this is what we’ve come to expect from Peter’s “journalism.” Perhaps a refresher course in ethics would assist him in this unfamiliar area.

Andrew Haynes, Petaluma

Homicide, n.: The killing of one human being by another human being.

Thou Shalt Not Steal

I was upset to read say that there is little morally wrong with stealing from the Tax Board or PG&E (“Not What It Seems,” April 4). I know the statement is meant to be taken lightly, but unfortunately far too many people are looking for just this type of justification for stealing. I’d like to take a moment to follow through on this scenario. PG&E does not sit by when profits fall, they raise rates. So guess what happens when others don’t pay their bills?

The big companies don’t suffer, they pass it down to those of us who do pay our bills. So just remember: When you think you are being some noble rebel, you are only stealing from your neighbors.

Kathleen Ward, Sebastopol

Dept. of Corrections

In in the recent Spring Lit issue (April 11), we made quite a bit of hay with the faktz surrounding the Word Temple poetry series recently picked up by KRCB 91.1-FM and, yes indeed, still playing live and in-person at Copperfield’s Books. While we asserted that the series had previously been monthly, organizer Katherine Hastings politely reminds that it’s a twice-monthly affair. While we asserted that all poetic lisps from the Temple series were now for your ears only, Hastings kindly directs us to our own calendar, which–for small example–has Jack and Adelle Foley reading for the slate with Jacqueline Kudler this Friday, April 27, at Copperfield’s in Montgomery Village. It does appear, however, that we spelled the words “word” and “temple” correctly, and for that we are quietly grateful. Many apologies in iambic and otherwise.

The Ed., too restless for poetry, too sleepy for prose


Wine Tasting

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Sometimes it’s hard not to notice that today’s world, much like yesterday’s, is plagued with war, natural disaster, environmental degradation and myriad other misfortunes. Does it not seem frivolous to gallivant about this picturesque land of industrial vineyards, sipping wine from long-stemmed glasses? Seeking balance and the wider view, we visit Lynmar Winery this week.

Tucked away off a rural lane in Sebastopol, Lynmar is quietly working toward integrating environmental stewardship locally, and is linked to good works internationally. Owner Lynn Fritz has more than just good intentions to work with, previously heading a global logistics company until it sold to UPS in 2000. Although he purchased the Quail Hill Vineyard in the early 1980s, he has in recent years replanted, assembled a star winemaking team and built caves, a gravity flow winery and a hospitality center. A canoe trip inspired a partnership with the Laguna de Santa Rosa Foundation to help protect the watershed, which borders his property. In his spare time, Fritz founded an organization that provides supply-chain solutions for worldwide humanitarian relief efforts.

Even as herons soar above trees at the water’s edge, Lynmar is bustling with activity. The resident chef picks herbs from an organic cornucopia created by the master gardener, who breaks ground on a market garden that will supply local restaurants. Tethered goats mow down weeds, and chickens control pests and produce eggs. In the swank but comfortable hospitality center, backdropped by rolling vineyards, Lynmar hosts events for charitable and environmental groups, such as the conservationist Landpaths organization. If the tractors don’t run on biodiesel, I’m seriously disillusioned.

The wines themselves are not bad for, you know, a star winemaking team. Lynmar charges $10 for tasting, and $10 for optional food pairing, but it’s a leisurely format. Visitors may sit and take their time with the generous pours, a separate glass for each pour. Crisp acidity, honey-lemon, toffee and toasty oak characterizes the 2005 Russian River Valley Chardonnay ($30). The 2004 Quail Hill Estate Chardonnay ($40) tastes of butterscotch and is distinctly but not overly oaked.

The 2006 Russian River Valley Vin Gris ($24), all bubble gum and sugarplums, is a balanced, easy drinking rosé. Restraint shows as well in the 2004 Russian River Valley Pinot Noir ($36), but the just-released 2005 may actually be softer. It’s clean and fresh-scented like jicama and plum, with a hint of smoke. Want a big wine to finish? Ask for the vibrant purple, smoky 2004 Russian River Valley Syrah ($36): a leather jacket fresh off the rack, pockets stuffed with big black cherries and grapes.

Lynmar Winery, 3909 Frei Road, Sebastopol. Tasting fee, $10; food and wine pairing, $20. Open Friday-Monday, 11am to 4pm; Tuesday-Thursday by appointment. 707.829.3374.



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The Byrne Report

April 25-May 1, 2007

In the aftermath of murderous news from Blacksburg, Va., the possibility of banning handguns has once again become a topic of heated public discussion. After all, 23-year-old Virginia Tech student Cho Seung-hui purchased his weapons of mass destruction as easily as buying packs of chewing gum. But given the clout of the National Rifle Association, rational cries for increasing domestic control of arms proliferation will continue to go unheard by federal and state legislators as they pocket campaign contributions from the gun-and-bullet crowd.

Drawing exactly the wrong lesson from Blacksburg, writer David Kopel of the Wall Street Journal proclaimed that if Virginia Tech had allowed its 26,000 students to carry concealed handguns on campus, 32 people would be alive today. Just think: millions of style-crazed teenagers carrying loaded handguns into the classroom. Goodbye, Mr. Chips. In the real world, the burning question for nonviolently-inclined residents of the North Bay is, what can we do at the local level to stop death by gun? It is axiomatic that when guns are not legally available, homicides and suicides decrease dramatically.

Gun-huggers are fond of hiding behind what they claim is their constitutional right to bear arms. For a century, the United States Supreme Court has shot down argument after argument based on that mythology. According to all reputable legal scholars, the Second Amendment protects only the right of a “well-organized militia” to bear arms; it does not extend to individuals. This from the website of the Legal Community Against Violence: “Former U.S. Supreme Court Chief Justice Warren Burger once characterized the NRA’s interpretation of the Second Amendment as ‘one of the greatest pieces of fraud, I repeat the word fraud, on the American public by special interest groups that I have ever seen in my lifetime.'”

Gun lovers are wimps and losers. Do they really think that in some scarily near future when President Jeb Bush orders United States Northern Command troops into Sonoma County to arrest libertarian secessionists they will effectively wage armed struggle against legions of soldiers supported by fighter jets and cruise missiles and tear gas? Not likely! Most of the “Do Not Tread on Me” Second Amendment freaks will be hiding under their chicken coops pissing on their pistols or trying to join the storm troopers. The others will be hunted like rabbits.

Last year, the Superior Court, responding to an NRA lawsuit, struck down a San Francisco law that banned firearms, period. Because state law regulates guns, said the court, localities cannot ban them; only the State Legislature or a statewide ballot initiative can regulate firearms. In truth, California has some of the best gun-control laws in the country, but we still have far to go to wipe out the sanctification of guns by the news-entertainment culture and the legal system.

The NRA chants about protecting our homes, but for every homeowner who pops a burglar, dozens of teenagers shoot themselves with their parents’ bedside weapon. I would take away those guns. And I would take away the guns wielded by police, too. There is no good reason why trained law enforcers cannot do their job with nonlethal weapons, including chemical and rubber projectiles and stun machines.

The Legal Community Against Violence points out that many of California’s gun-control laws started out as local ordinances that “trickled up” to the state legislature. In an interview last week, one of the national group’s San Francisco-based attorneys, Sam Hoover, said that Sonoma County already prohibits the possession of firearms and ammunition on all county-owned property, and prohibits firearm dealers from operating in residential areas. But the county can pass laws to prohibit gun dealers from operating near schools, parks and other “sensitive” areas, and require dealers to obtain liability insurance (and thereby be held accountable for misdealing). Local governments are free to prohibit minors from entering a dealer’s store and to mandate dealer inventory inspections.

Without falling afoul of state or federal laws, North Bay counties and cities can limit handgun sales to one per person every six months. The voters or the governing bodies of these jurisdictions can require ammunition sellers to be licensed and to maintain ammunition purchaser records. They can require the reporting of lost or stolen firearms. They can prohibit the possession of large capacity ammunition magazines and 50-caliber cartridges. They can require firearms to be stored safely in the home.

And in light of the “spate” of law-enforcement slayings in the North Bay during recent weeks, the public has another important gun-control option: conditioning the funding of law-enforcement agencies upon the prohibition of peace officers carrying lethal weapons and requiring them to carry only nonlethal weapons. Attorney Hoover says that California law will support such a decision if it is made by ballot initiative or by a local government body.

Let’s do it.

or


Ask Sydney

April 25-May 1, 2007 Dear Sydney, I recently went on a date with a *very* attractive woman. Things seemed to be going well, we were getting along great and after a good dinner we ended up in bed together. I was thinking, "Wow, what a lucky guy I am, gorgeous chick, good sex,' etc., when she looks over at me...

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Smog Lifter

April 25-May 1, 2007 Whatever reason Bill Callahan may have for ditching Smog, the moniker he'd performed under for nearly two decades, it was a good move--just as wise as jettisoning the parenthesis he'd attached after briefly billing himself as (Smog) in the late '90s. (New music groups, take note: Avoid punctuation in band names at all costs.)Woke on a...

News Briefs

April 25-May 1, 2007 Reclaiming May Day Forget dancers weaving around maypoles or communist parades of weaponry. After a highly successful May Day last year, immigrants and their supporters both in the North Bay and nationwide hope this May 1 will once again raise awareness of immigrants' fears and concerns, underscore how much they contribute to this nation's economy, rally...

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Ahhh . . .

Resident Tourist Guide: Staying at Home to Play in Sonoma, Marin and Napa | 2007 Farmer's Markets | Calistoga, San Anselmo, Petaluma | Wineries in Sonoma and...

Out and About

Resident Tourist Guide: Staying at Home to Play in Sonoma, Marin and Napa | 2007 Farmer's Markets | Calistoga, San Anselmo, Petaluma | Wineries in Sonoma and Napa |...

Letters to the Editor

April 25-May 1, 2007Another viewI am thrilled that this week the United States Supreme Court upheld the partial-birth abortion ban. It sickens me to think that sucking out a child's brains at birth was ever considered an option. I'm only 26, and the future state of society is looking black--with even my own State Assembly member Patty Berg trying...

Wine Tasting

The Byrne Report

April 25-May 1, 2007In the aftermath of murderous news from Blacksburg, Va., the possibility of banning handguns has once again become a topic of heated public discussion. After all, 23-year-old Virginia Tech student Cho Seung-hui purchased his weapons of mass destruction as easily as buying packs of chewing gum. But given the clout of the National Rifle Association, rational...
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