Flower Fresh

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11.26.08

Beer is a processed food. It is made from preserved ingredients, often pulled out of dry storage a year or more after harvest for shipment to breweries around the world. Many factories that make beer approach the beverage as a mass-produced product, like Snickers or Coca-Cola, one that must taste predictably the same batch after batch. But craft brewers have recognized the connection between their beer and the earth, and to celebrate each autumn’s hop harvest, these beer makers brew up limited batches of the latest innovative trend in brewing: wet-hop beers.

The vast majority of beer is brewed using hops that have been dried. Drying significantly detracts from the aromatic properties of this flower, as its bitter acids and aromatic oils evaporate in the 140-degree baking kilns. Dried hops are compressed, packed and bundled like hay and can be used anytime, anywhere.

Fresh hops cannot. They signify a tangible time and place, and the beers they go into are a seasonal product of the harvest. Brewers who live in growing regions like the Pacific Northwest enjoy obvious advantages in brewing wet-hop beers, as they stir the fragrant unwilted blossoms into the beer just minutes or hours off the vine. Ninety percent of the production of American hops comes from Oregon and Washington, and there the wet-hop beer trend has found a strong foothold in the presence of 40,000 acres of plantings.

Still, California’s brewers are getting in on the wet-hop action, and each year many breweries pay top dollar to overnight fresh hops to their facilities. In fact, Chico’s Sierra Nevada Brewing Company made the first North American wet-hop beer in 1995 with fresh Cascade and Centennial hops flown in from Washington. But brewer Steve Dresler wanted to bring the freshness factor even closer to home, and five years ago he planted three acres of hops on the land adjacent to the brewery for sole use in the now annual Chico Estate Harvest Ale, released in its third vintage in September along with the 12th vintage of the original Washington state Wet Hop Ale. Each of the malty ales borders between an India pale and an amber, with a particularly fresh and herbal hop character.

Lagunitas Brewing Company has also been stirring fresh Washington hops into specialty batches the last two falls, and this fall owner Tony Magee grew and harvested over 300 pounds of hops from a third of an acre east of Tomales Bay.

“People told us they wouldn’t grow here, that it was too cold or too windy, but as near as I can tell these guys are rock stars,” says Magee. “You just put this rhizome, this little stick, in the ground, and up comes this prehistoric-looking vine.”

The small hop orchard has served as a successful experimental crop, he says, and this spring six more acres will be planted.

“Growing your own hops gives you a little more ownership in the whole process,” says Magee. “It gives you a deeper understanding of the mystique of brewing beer. It’s like the winemaker who also grows his own grapes.”

Moonlight Brewing is also growing local hops for its annual wet-hop beer, though owner Brian Hunt is skeptical of the reality of regional terroir noticeably affecting beer.

“That would be a stretch, but not impossible. In wine, the grapes are 100 percent of the wine. Hops contribute far less than 1 percent of the final beer’s weight. No doubt, someone skilled could taste and identify some crop differences by year, location or growing climate, but I can’t say I have that skill.”

Mark Vickery, brewmaster at Golden Valley Brewery and Pub, just south of Portland, has now made five consecutive vintages of a wet-hop ale sourced with hops grown 10 miles from the brewpub. Vickery, a wet-hop beer innovator who founded the now annual Fresh Hop Beer Tastival in Portland four years ago, wishes to instill in his beer a unique sense of locality, and though he and others easily market this angle to fascinated brewpub customers, Vickery feels that terroir remains elusive in a product as processed and contrived as beer.

“Terroir has a hard time translating to beer. With wine, everything—the grapes and the yeast—can be gotten from the same place. With beer, that’s not quite possible.”

Yet multiple breweries in the North Bay are cutting out the food miles and bringing hop production into their backyards for the simple sake of having an “estate” wet-hop beer. Moonlight, Dempsey’s, Moylan’s and Russian River, in addition to Lagunitas, all grow hops onsite or nearby for use in harvest-time wet-hop ales. The climate here may be far from perfect, as farmers in the Northwest claim that happy hop vines like a good freeze each winter, but for Peter Burrell, owner and brewer at Dempsey’s, growing results thus far have been satisfactory. On a two-acre farm west of Petaluma, he is growing a handful of vines, and an annual crop of 15 pounds has contributed to five vintages of wet-hop beers. The current release, the fresh-hop Red Rooster, is on tap at the riverside pub. With wet-hop beers, Burrell says, the control that the brewer exerts on the beer is limited; a limited supply of hops in turn limits the ability to fine-tune the beer, and what the season provides is what you get—much, he notes, like a vintage of wine.

Bear Republic’s brewmaster Richard Norgrove, who makes a wet-hop pale ale each year, has had less success than others in growing local hops. He attempted to do so on his grandmother’s property in Windsor, but poorly drained soil led to root rot and stifled the health of his vines for several years. Eventually Norgrove abandoned the project and now sources fresh hops from Washington’s Yakima Valley each fall.

At Moylan’s Restaurant and Brewery in Novato, several hop vines are growing along the back wall of the brewery in the parking lot. Brewer Denise Jones harvested a hop crop of approximately one pound in the fall of 2007 and used Yakima Valley Warrior hops for her wet-hop ale. This year’s estate crop was a bumper, harvested in the last week of October, and will be on tap this fall. Jones will also be releasing several other beers with fresh Northwest hops this month, including a double IPA, a triple IPA and a bottled barleywine.

At Sierra Nevada, as orchard managers boost the hop acreage from three to 10, all of which will swing into full bloom by next fall, brewer Dresler also has his eye on 35 acres nearby that he believes could look lovely dressed in golden shimmers of barley, making feasible the idea of a fully estate produced beer.

But Lakefront Brewery in Wisconsin may have beaten Sierra Nevada to the punch. Here, managers are arranging to pull together all the essential agriculture elements to make a “100-mile beer.” Lakefront has struck contracts with six local organic farmers to custom grow its hops—though whitetail deer ate the entire harvest this summer—and on another nearby property a farmer has dedicated 80 acres to beer barley.

However, on a full-production scale, estate beer is not a feasible idea for most breweries. Sierra Nevada alone would require hundreds of acres of hops and even more of barley, and the agricultural infrastructure of beer-making requires highly regional and established industries. There is no room in the Central Valley for both hops and barley, says brewer Dresler.

“The idea of cottage malting houses for each brewery just isn’t feasible,” Dresler says. “The industries behind beer-making are huge.”

This reality will likely persist for the foreseeable future, and wet-hop beers will likewise remain a limited portion of America’s beer flow—a celebratory event which brewers frequently liken to Beaujolais Nouveau. Anyway, Hunt at Moonlight says wet-hop beers are too susceptible to idiosyncrasies of season and harvest for a brewer ever to rely upon as a staple product.

“Financially, fresh hop beers are failures, but brewers don’t make them for the profit. We make them because they are the highest honor we can give to the hops. We love hops and know that there’s no other way to get these most ethereal fresh flavors into a drinkable form.”

The season only comes once per year, so taste the flowers while you can.

Quick dining snapshots by Bohemian staffers.

Winery news and reviews.

Food-related comings and goings, openings and closings, and other essays for those who love the kitchen and what it produces.

Recipes for food that you can actually make.

Jive Turkey

11.26.08

They embraced and then started swapping spit at an alarming level. Like two dueling shop vacs desperately trying to suck a dime from behind a car seat, so was their passion.”

Sentences like the above are why we do our annual writing contest, always thrilled to draw from our readers their best, most outrageous, smartest, funniest, most thoughtful responses to our yearly prompts. This year, we imagined a grainy scene of disarray, fancy cocktails, sensual music, badly performed dance, lipstick markings and, being as how it’s well on to the fourth Thursday in November, a turkey.

Difficult as it was, we chose five winners from the many responses tendered. We fete our winners  with a reading on Wednesday, Dec. 3, at 6pm. It’s held this year at a private residence, so RSVP to this free public event (pssst: fresh cake) by writing ed****@******an.com and we’ll give you details.

—Gretchen Giles

Vipers

The turkey hit the floor with a wet thud. Three year’s worth of dust settled ashily down around it. Unperturbed, Hector and Nanette continued to tango poorly, inhibited by the many packing cases around them. Breaking briefly, Nanette took a small sip of her pisco sour, leaving a lipstick ring that caught Hector’s attention. Guests were due in hours, but Hector was sanguine. After all, Nanette was sure to . . .

. . . be dead by then.

It would be too embarrassing to introduce her to his amigos here in Buenos Aires. The way she tangoed was patético. Hector sipped his martini and swallowed the olive with a gulp as she grabbed his arms again, arching back her torso like a slowly falling ombú tree in the Pampas. Her abrazo, the tango embrace, supposed to be close and intimate, was a gaping gulp of cultural differences. Hector’ smooth caminadas, elegantly improvised, were countered by her awkward goose-stepping, and she upset his stylish cadencias with her leathery stomping and beehive hairdo, as if she were a bearskin sentry guarding Buckingham Palace.

Yes, her dancing would kill his reputation as a caballero.

Another reason, even closer to his heart, was hidden in the packing cases: her jewelry and the password to a Swiss bank account.

“Gotta cook that bird now,” Nanette said, picking up the turkey. “Rise from the ashes, Phoenix.” She smirked, and it struck Hector again how irreconcilable the differences were between her flippant simplicity and the deliberately purple prose that he used even in his most secret thoughts like these, or when he was trying with all his might for three long years to make it in the adult-movie business in the San Fernando Valley where Nanette was one of the studio executives who attended the tango lessons he gave when he was short of money, which meant, in all honesty, that when, in spite of eggs for breakfast and plenty of rest, his phoenix, so to speak, refused to rise, the rakish Raul from Bakersfield was called to stand in for him.

It had been surprisingly easy to smuggle the turkey by the counter-terrorist guards at the airports, first in L.A. and then here in Buenos Aires, and anyway their excuse would have been that they needed to eat him for patriotic reasons. It was Thanksgiving, after all.

“How long would it take,” he had asked Raul on the phone, “and wouldn’t she taste the snake poison?”

“Not in a pisco sour,” Raul had assured him.

He looked at the Timex that he had won at slots in Reno. Soon it would be a Rolex. And a Mercedes. And a Tango Nuevo studio, directed by Hector Malone.

Suddenly he felt the bite of the pit viper’s poison, and he knew instantly that it was the olive in his martini. He hit the floor with a thud, as the door from the kitchen opened and Nanette appeared, Raul at her side. “I called off the party,” she said as Hector’s legs cramped and one leg wound itself around the other as in a tango move known as the gancho. Hector grimaced and then his face turned sanguine again. Raul and Nanette smiled at each other and said, each in their own language, “El tango no está en los pies. Está en el corazón.

“Tango ain’t in the feet. It’s in the heart.”

—Wulf Rehder

Circus Circus

The turkey hit the floor with a wet thud. Three year’s worth of dust settled ashily down around it. Unperturbed, Hector and Nanette continued to tango poorly, inhibited by the many packing cases around them. Breaking briefly, Nanette took a small sip of her pisco sour, leaving a lipstick ring that caught Hector’s attention. Guests were due in hours, but Hector was sanguine. After all, Nanette was sure to . . .

. . . take the lead eventually, tangoing them towards the cellar door, at which she would then point imperiously—Hector’s cue to unlock it—releasing the circus troupe.

Although puzzled, ringmaster and clowns had earlier followed Nanette’s pointing finger down to the cellar. Only the tiger cub resisted, until gently urged down the steep stairs by Hector’s shiny patent leather toe. He’d had to stake the adolescent elephant in the backyard, where his thumping and trumpeting interfered with the beat of their music, causing them to dance poorly, despite their widespread fame as a tango duo.

It was during their recent Latin America tour that Nanette had insisted on kidnapping a tiny Bolivian circus. This was made possible by their friendship with a still-powerful ex-dictator, the owner of a Lear jet. Money having changed hands, they’d hustled the bemused troupe aboard under cover of darkness. This group would make their housewarming party unique, Nanette told Hector. Besides, the circus could always be returned later.

Anyway, who’d even notice the packing crates? They’d just be part of the ambiance. Indeed, Nanette had already bullied the ringmaster into stenciling on names of exotic south-of-the-border tourist traps. The clowns, glad to be upstairs, however briefly, had cheerfully affixed dozens of colorful travel stickers.

Stumbling against a crate, Hector winced as Nanette’s stiletto heel grazed his instep. Thankfully, it wasn’t they who’d perform tonight, but the animals, clowns and flea circus. (Hector hoped no one would step on the fleas. As a boy, he’d longed for one, actually searching his hirsute hairless Chihuahua Fritz-William for those tame enough to capture and train. Alas, all they did was bite Hector while playing leap-frog on their Fritzi-dog.)

The tango artistes danced clumsily for hours before Nanette finally steered Hector towards the cellar door. There, he quickly unlocked and opened it, only to be knocked flat by the ringmaster, clowns and cub, all scratching themselves madly. The fleas had apparently gone stir-crazy in the damp, dark basement. Helping Nanette to her feet, Hector sighed, certain her solution would be to use flea powder left over from their late dog, Fritz-Wm. III. So much for rekindled boyhood dreams.

Despite their itchy bites, the powdered performers soon took their places atop packing cases, the tiger gnawing happily on its turkey treat. Breathing a sigh of relief, Hector coughed a bit from the dust. Guests were due any minute. Maybe everything would go well after all.

Suddenly, the back of the house was rattled by fierce pounding, just as the front doorbell shrilled. Leaving Nanette to greet arriving guests, Hector tugged open the back door, only to be knocked flat yet again. The juvenile pachyderm, trumpeting loudly and blowing ancient dust in all directions, shoved his way between crates towards the front door. Shouldering Nanette aside, he headed for the street, easily mowing down the crowd of visitors in the process. Reaching for the pitcher of pisco sours, Nanette downed it in one gulp, lipstick smearing messily. Hector was no longer sanguine.

—Jennie F. Butler

Dancing Duo

The turkey hit the floor with a wet thud. Three year’s worth of dust settled ashily down around it. Unperturbed, Hector and Nanette continued to tango poorly, inhibited by the many packing cases around them. Breaking briefly, Nanette took a small sip of her pisco sour, leaving a lipstick ring that caught Hector’s attention. Guests were due in hours, but Hector was sanguine. After all, Nanette was sure to . . .

. . . wipe her lip prints from the glass, one of the 31 for guests, before the door rattled with knocking friends. None would know which glass of pisco sour had been kissed by Nanette’s luscious lips.

Hector dipped deep, Nanette arched beneath him. Delicately, she twisted her long graceful neck and sidled her eyes up under a thicket of lashes to engage Hector’s ardent gaze. The music went on without them.

Licking pisco sour from his lips, Hector pulled Nanette close. She wrapped a shapely bare leg around his. He lunged, she bent backward. He whirled her tight and light. Ashy dust rose and peppered the wet turkey.

Suddenly, boxes big and little thudded a drumbeat around Hector and Nanette, a’ twirl in a swirl. Oblivious, they tangoed to the castanets of crashing crates until Nanette sidled her long dark eyes to the forlorn turkey lodged against boxes.

“Oh, Hector my hero,” Nanette of the sidling eyes said, “the turkey pines for us. It must be the hour to tend to it.”

“Mi amor,” intoned Hector, “one more tango.” They moved together as best they could, sidestepping tumbled crates and defrosting turkey.

“Look, Hector. Your Tio Galindo’s packing case has fallen. He will be most upset.”

“Tio Galindo will not care, not with pisco sour to drink.” Hector tangoed Nanette away. They stumbled into Maria Castilla.

“Hector, we’ve knocked Maria Castilla off her feet. They’re up in the air.”

“Never mind. She’s a seasoned old bird.”

Hector clasped Nanette’s supple waist. She paused a step to impart a perfect imprint on yet another of the 31. She tilted her chin, flashed a message from under thick lashes. The music went on without them.

Hector was sanguine. Nanette was sure to tend to the turkey. At last, Nanette cocked her head. Hector struck a heroic pose, hatchet in hand. Each eyed the other. They turned to the thawed turkey. It gobbled a greeting to the tango twosome. Surprise arrested Hector and Nanette.

The turkey rose on spurred feet, puffed neck feathers, tried one wing, then the other. Power surged, claw to crown. Stiff-legged, the turkey strutted onto the dance floor, skewered Hector with a baleful stare. Undone and hatchetless, Hector backed into boxes. The turkey dipped its beak into Nanette’s pisco sour. With round eye fixed on Nanette’s lissome neck, the roused turkey turned wattles blue, head white and dewlap redder in invitation. Nanette’s luscious lips parted. Chortling, the turkey flared wide a banded fan, dragged wings to draw rings in three years’ dust.

The message was clear. It takes two to tango.

—Lum Franco

Make-Up Sex

The turkey hit the floor with a wet thud. Three year’s worth of dust settled ashily down around it. Unperturbed, Hector and Nanette continued to tango poorly, inhibited by the many packing cases around them. Breaking briefly, Nanette took a small sip of her pisco sour, leaving a lipstick ring that caught Hector’s attention. Guests were due in hours, but Hector was sanguine. After all, Nanette was sure to . . .

. . . suggest make-up sex when the music ended. Or the pisco sour was gone.

Whichever came first.

His dalliance with Sissy Maine was old news. She meant nothing now. Hector grabbed Nanette’s hand and allowed her to lead.

They hit the floor with an unmelodic thud. Three years of infidelity and badly cooked cuisine tangoed with them around her packing cases destined for Argentina.

Breaking briefly, Hector sipped his Black Bear Stout, leaving a tuft of foam on his goatee that caught Nanette’s attention. Malia, Monique and Brock were on their way. But what did she care. She gave into no one. The sax man had been a passing fancy; Milagra but a fling. Nanette felt serene. After all, Hector was sure to deposit his trustafarian check before their guests arrived.

He was a man of urges.

She was a woman of urgency.

Their relationship hit the floor with a predictable thud. Every third day precisely. Three years of nasty bus-stop breakups, followed by reconciliations posted on YouTube, MySpace, YourSpace, WeAllSpace bounced with them around the room. They were running out of ways to do it. Once again, the lovebirds were blissfully, revoltingly back together.

Nanette flung Hector toward a case marked “FRAGILE” and sneered. Hector hit the baggage, and his head snapped forward. Anger vied with numbness for his attention, but it was the lipstick ring on her pisco sour glass that he kissed.

Neither could remember whose move it was.

Neither could recall the next step, or the last.

The tango lessons had hit the floor with a thud. Last year’s Christmas present now settled around them like fermented fruit. Luis Salinas’ Argentina Tango was all the rage. They paso-dobled over packing cases, knocked over drinks, stumbling towards a clumsy crescendo that would amount to a new kind of dance.

Sissy and the sax man were in the past. The three-year-old turkey would have to wait. Ashes to ashes and dust to dew, they tangoed poorly across the industrial loft, dangerously close to the only door unopened: where both preened nightly in solo performance.

The bathroom drawer hit the floor with a thud. Three years of cosmetics settled rosily down on the tessellated floor. Unperturbed by cracked mirrors and broken compacts, Nanette and Hector sipped powdery drinks and looked on, as uninhibited Brush of Mascara passionately engaged Tube of Red Lipstick to her very foundation. This caught the attention of watchful Eye Shadow and made Rouge blush.

Hector and Nanette hit the floor with a passionate thud.

—Guy Biederman

Oh, What a Tangoed Web We Weave

The turkey hit the floor with a wet thud. Three year’s worth of dust settled ashily down around it. Unperturbed, Hector and Nanette continued to tango poorly, inhibited by the many packing cases around them. Breaking briefly, Nanette took a small sip of her pisco sour, leaving a lipstick ring that caught Hector’s attention. Guests were due in hours, but Hector was sanguine. After all, Nanette was sure to . . .

. . . liven up a bit once enough alcohol hit her bloodstream, being one of those persons who become more energetic the more they imbibe. However, whether this would inspire her to tidy seemed unlikely, if three years’ worth of dust and dozens of still unpacked crates were any indication. Tossing the glass over her shoulder with what she imagined was an air of decadent abandon appropriate to the tango, Nanette reengaged Hector, and they once more began caroming off the crates like funhouse bumper cars. “One less glass to clean, eh what?!” Hector quipped fatuously. He’d long ago learned the hazards of criticizing Nanette’s housekeeping.

Having recently obtained a large stack of old Pathé Marconi 78s recorded by Carlos Gardel and an equally ancient gramophone on which to play them at the Chelsea Flea Market, Nanette and Hector were this evening hosting a tango-themed party in the old Whitechapel warehouse they’d moved into three years ago with the intention of establishing his and hers painters studios. The hand-printed invitations read, “Tango on the Thames!” and they had been practicing dips all afternoon. The arrival of the wet bird had put a definite damper on things.

Nanette had become quite put out upon the bird’s arrival, and then with Hector when he failed to eject this soggy scion of the genus meleagris from the premises when so ordered, offering up a pusillanimous, “But he does have an invitation, Sweetums.” Just how and where the turkey had obtained an invite was anybody’s guess.

As Hector watched over Nanette’s perceptively frosty shoulder, the turkey (a tom, judging from its size and plumage), rightfully exhausted after its intrepid swim across the English Channel from Calais to Dover (148 hours, 26 minutes), and further struggle up the Thames (67 hours, 43 minutes), slowly rose to its feet and began nonchalantly pecking its way across the floor in time to the tango towards the hors d’oeuvres crate, displaying a natural sense of rhythm that Hector silently envied. Sober, Hector had two left feet; with several drinks in him, he developed an uncooperative third one.

 —Rich Jones 

Just then, the record they’d been dancing to came to an end, and the syncopated melody that had impelled them across the floor abruptly changed to a monotonous “click, scratch, click. ” With a martyred sigh, Nanette disengaged from Hector and began threading her way among the crates to the one atop which the gramophone had been set. To her surprise, the turkey beat her to it, and, having adroitly flipped the record with nary a scratch, restarted the gramophone.

Hard on the heels of this, there came a loud knock at the warehouse door. “Ye gads!” the couple thought in unison—their guests were starting to arrive! “I’ll get that, shall I?” the turkey said, moving towards the door.

Nanette tangoed back over to Hector, threw her arms around his neck and nestled her aquiline nose in his ear. “The turkey stays,” she murmured.


Museums and gallery notes.

Reviews of new book releases.

Reviews and previews of new plays, operas and symphony performances.

Reviews and previews of new dance performances and events.

Happy Nude Year

11.26.08

Photos by Gabriela Alonso; Beaulux Productions, LLC
SQUEEZEBOX SOCIAL: This timeless shot gracefully illuminatesJune in the Naked Clown Calendar.

By David Templeton

Balloon sculptures are a staple of any well-trainedclown’s tool kit, and any clown worth his or her salt can make aballoon sculpture hat—but when have you ever seen a clownclad proudly in balloon-sculpture briefs or balloon-sculpture braand panties? Other than an after-hours party at the RinglingBrothers and Barnum & Bailey Circus, there’s really only oneplace to see clowns adorned only in multicolored latexballoons—or feathers, flowers and suggestiveaccordions—and that is inside the Naked Clown Calendar, afundraising effort of the Clown Conservatory at San Francisco’sCircus Center, class of 2008.

Devised as a project to benefit the Judy Finelli Fund, whichworks with the Florida-based Multiple Sclerosis Foundationassisting people with MS to accomplish dreams of all kinds, theyaim to raise $1 million in 2009. The Judy Finelli Fund was createdto honor the center’s cofounder, whose diagnosis of MS in 1989 hasrendered Finelli a quadriplegic, halting her ability to perform herlegendary juggling, but hardly dampening her ability to inspire herstudents.

One of those students is LaRena Iocco, born and raised inSebastopol, who graduated in June from the Clown Conservatory andis now actively applying for a position as a working clown indozens of traveling circuses around the country. Her talents arecurrently on display in the new Naked Clown Calendar, which isexactly what it sounds like: photos of clowns baring lots of skin,but in entertaining, clown-based ways, arranged into a 16-monthcalendar, with 21 clowns participating.

“I am August,” says Iocco. “Well, my clown partner Lindsey and Iare both August.” In the photo, which conjures recollections of old1960s folk music albums, Iocco, in full clown makeup, is perchednaked on a park bench, her more sensitive areas tastefully coveredby the guitar she is playing, as Lindsey B. Jones, reclining on thegrass, plays a small ukulele. The rest of the calendar is a playfularray of poses and postures, all of them clever, some of themingenious, most of them celebrating some acrobatic or introspectiveaspect of the fine art of clowning.

“It all started with a lot of us sitting around after ouracrobatics class one morning,” Iocco says, “talking about how greatwe all felt and how we all seemed to be in much better shape,physically, then when we’d started school there. It’s a veryphysically rigorous program at the school. And someone jokinglysaid, ‘Now’s our chance to shoot a nude calendar to celebrate ournew bodies!’ The idea took off from there.”

With student Chad Benjamin Potter taking on the project asorganizer, the clowns soon decided to make the calendar afundraiser for Finelli’s fund. “Judy is one of our most amazingmentors from school,” Iocco says. “She teaches the weekly circusskills class at the clown conservatory, with an assistant. Shecan’t perform the skills anymore, but she has an encyclopedicbreadth of mental knowledge, so she gives the lecture and somebodyelse does the physical demonstrations. We all love Judy.”

Fae Kievman, who grew up in Petaluma and who is featured for themonth of May, has been enrolled at the school for the last twoyears, and as a tattooed-contortionist-clown-in-development,similarly prizes the time he’s spent with Finelli as a mentor.

“Judy has been such an incredible inspiration to me,” Kievmansays. “Knowing her has been an incredible blessing. Because of her,I’ve gained a lot of confidence in developing myself as a clown andpreparing to take my act out into the world.”

In his photo, Kievman is posed on a rocky beach, looking allserious and Poseidon-like, wearing little more than a starfish.

“What I like about the calendar,” he says, “is that there areall kinds of different clowns in it, big and small, short and tall,skinny, not skinny—and I’m in the not-skinny category. I’mthe ‘big clown,’ which is great in the picture, because it has thisstoic quality. I’m this giant clown, preparing to take over theworld.”

Asked what he’ll remember most about his day of shooting on thebeach, Kievman laughs.

“Well, I was basically naked, for an hour or more,” he says.”What I remember most is that it was cold!”

 To purchase the Naked Clown Calendar or to get moreinformation, visit the website at www.nakedclowncalendar.com.Calendars are also available for purchase at the Circus Center, 755Frederick St., San Francisco.

to theeditor about this story.


The Courthouse Square Clock Returns!

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Never thought we’d see the day, but here it is. November 25, 2008: The long-dead clock on the US Bank building at 50 Courthouse Square is officially replaced. What’s it been, 7, 8 years? In Santa Rosa terms, this is on some Back to the Future“Save the Clock Tower!” level, right here.

Net Knit

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Love, American-Style

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11.26.08

George: “How did you know it was my first time?”

Doris: ” I could tell from the way you tried to take your pants off over your shoes and tripped and hit your head on the coffee table.”

It is the year 1951, and George and Doris have just had sex for the first time. They are married—but not to each other, and have just embarked on an adulterous quarter-century-long love affair. Bernard Slade’s 33-year-old oddball romantic-comedy Same Time, Next Year is one of the most popular modern comedies in the world, having run four years straight on Broadway in the mid-’70s, becoming one of the most often-produced plays ever written.

In a funny, sweet, emotionally aware new production by the Pacific Alliance Stage Company, director Hector Correa and his brilliant two-person cast remind us why the story of George and Doris and their once-a-year affair keeps being told in theaters across America: right or wrong, it’s hard to resist rooting for this pair of cheaters to find a way to keep going, because, right or wrong, they obviously love each other, at least as much as they love their spouses.

As George, PASCO mainstay Michael Navarra is excellent, maintaining the right combination of light comedy and bruised humanity as his character gradually evolves, in six scenes set about five years apart, from frisky 1950s businessman to angry late-’60s conservative to downwardly mobile therapy addict and beyond. Even more astonishing is Tara Blau as Doris, whose character arc is even more extreme, starting out as a minimally educated girl-woman and ending up, through sheer personal effort and a stint at UC Berkeley in the ’60s, moving from housewife to mother to flower-child to successful businesswoman. Set against the music and news-flashes of the decades the characters pass through, the play is remarkably funny and packed with amusing observations about the sexes, as when Doris points out, “Women are more pragmatic than men. They adjust to rottenness quicker.”

It is also entertainingly detailed: each time George and Doris meet in the same beach-side cottage, in addition to the sleeping-together part, they develop a ritual of telling each other one good story and one bad story about their spouses, Harry and Helen, who gradually become characters of their own. There are only a few places this illicit romance can possibly end up, and the genius of Slade’s script is that it manages to take us to all of them.

Same Time, Next Year runs Thursday&–Sunday through Dec. 7 at the Spreckels Performing Arts Center. 5409 Snyder Lane, Rohnert Park. Thursdays at 7:30pm; Friday&–Saturday at 8pm; Sunday at 2:30pm. $17&–$24. 707.588.3400.


Museums and gallery notes.

Reviews of new book releases.

Reviews and previews of new plays, operas and symphony performances.

Reviews and previews of new dance performances and events.

Listening in the Wrong Key

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11.26.08

With the recent silencing of the Church House, a defunct spray-painted punk house in Petaluma’s industrial district, the typographically effusive band Oh, Apollo! move down the street to the Phoenix Theater this weekend. The change may take some readjusting. With two years behind them as a band, Oh, Apollo!—bona fide standbys at the Church House’s living-room shows—favor doing things in rudimentary, down-home ways. All of their releases have been self-produced, and their songs generally contain less than 10 sentences of lyrics.

What is big about Oh, Apollo! is their sound, which should have no problem filling the venerable hall. Gang vocals, rapid rim shots, time changes, spidery guitar tapping, and an ADD-afflicted structure define fiery tracks like “When Did the Future Change from a Promise into a Threat?” In the song, vocal chords are downright shredded, with screamed lines like “I had a hope / But it was lost in the 1920s with my grandfathers money.” If there were ever a short surrealist film about a midnight train hijack involving stealth and betrayal, it could make for an appropriately skirting, grainy soundtrack.

After two EPs and a full-length, Oh, Apollo! show no sign of letting up or wussing out, with one lone 1980s FM-ballad exception: If you walk in to the Phoenix this weekend and hear a delightfully off-key rendering of Whitney Houston’s “I Will Always Love You,” you’ll know you’re in the right place.

Oh, Apollo! play with Sabertooth Zombie, Blaming Johnny, Hot Summer Car Babies and Prizehog on Sunday, Nov. 30, at the Phoenix Theater, 201 E. Washington St., Petaluma. 8pm. $5. 707.762.3565.


Get It Covered

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Old Men Still Horny Over ‘No Secrets’ Cover

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Bush’s first round of pardons rolls in:
Grammy Award-winning rap artist John Forte of North Brunswick, N.J., will be released after serving about half of a 14-year sentence for aiding and abetting possession with intent to distribute cocaine. Forte, whose clemency bid was supported by Sen. Orrin Hatch, R-Utah, has been scheduled for release Dec. 22. He had performed with the Fugees and is a friend of and former backup singer for Carly Simon, who lobbied senior lawmakers including Sen. Ted Kennedy, D-Mass., for his early release.
Thinking about Ted Kennedy reviewing Carly Simon’s own personal Mumia Abu-Jamal gets icky first thing in the morning. All told, though, good news. Homeboy got a bum deal.

Flower Fresh

11.26.08Beer is a processed food. It is made from preserved ingredients, often pulled out of dry storage a year or more after harvest for shipment to breweries around the world. Many factories that make beer approach the beverage as a mass-produced product, like Snickers or Coca-Cola, one that must taste predictably the same batch after batch. But craft brewers...

Jive Turkey

11.26.08They embraced and then started swapping spit at an alarming level. Like two dueling shop vacs desperately trying to suck a dime from behind a car seat, so was their passion."Sentences like the above are why we do our annual writing contest, always thrilled to draw from our readers their best, most outrageous, smartest, funniest, most thoughtful responses to...

Happy Nude Year

11.26.08Photos by Gabriela Alonso; Beaulux Productions, LLCSQUEEZEBOX SOCIAL: This timeless shot gracefully illuminatesJune in the Naked Clown Calendar.By David TempletonBalloon sculptures are a staple of any well-trainedclown's tool kit, and any clown worth his or her salt can make aballoon sculpture hat—but when have you ever seen a clownclad proudly in balloon-sculpture briefs or balloon-sculpture braand panties? Other than...

Healthy Respect

The Courthouse Square Clock Returns!

Never thought we'd see the day, but here it is. November 25, 2008: The long-dead clock on the US Bank building at 50 Courthouse Square is officially replaced. What's it been, 7, 8 years? In Santa Rosa terms, this is on some Back to the Future"Save the Clock Tower!" level, right here.

Net Knit

Love, American-Style

11.26.08George: "How did you know it was my first time?"Doris: " I could tell from the way you tried to take your pants off over your shoes and tripped and hit your head on the coffee table."It is the year 1951, and George and Doris have just had sex for the first time. They are married—but not to each...

Listening in the Wrong Key

11.26.08With the recent silencing of the Church House, a defunct spray-painted punk house in Petaluma's industrial district, the typographically effusive band Oh, Apollo! move down the street to the Phoenix Theater this weekend. The change may take some readjusting. With two years behind them as a band, Oh, Apollo!—bona fide standbys at the Church House's living-room shows—favor doing things...

Get It Covered

Old Men Still Horny Over ‘No Secrets’ Cover

Bush's first round of pardons rolls in: Grammy Award-winning rap artist John Forte of North Brunswick, N.J., will be released after serving about half of a 14-year sentence for aiding and abetting possession with intent to distribute cocaine. Forte, whose clemency bid was supported by Sen. Orrin Hatch, R-Utah, has been scheduled for release Dec. 22. He had performed with...
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