Your Letters, 12/27

Sex Ed

I’m a professional sex surrogate, and disagree with Dan Savage’s advice on love and sexuality (Savage Love, Dec. 20, 2023).

When people experience erectile dysfunction, medications are best used as a last resort, due to their medical and psychological side effects.

To get at the root issues, a thorough medical exam and seeing a therapist or surrogate are important. A healthy diet, regular exercise, body awareness techniques and Tantra also help.

These things would also help Mr. Savage’s asexual advice seeker and people wishing to enrich their lovemaking with their long-term partners.

Barbara Daugherty

Santa Rosa

Common Sense

Dr. Barry “The Genius” Barnett has presented us with a prime example of logic and common sense in declaring, more or less, that a circumstance in which Joe Biden and Don Trump sit atop the respective ideologically bankrupt major political parties is a hideous and monumental global embarrassment for the United States of America, in addition to being a daily practical nightmare.

The hope is that it is also a sign that we have finally descended to the bottom of the political pigsty and a harbinger of better days ahead. There is no other intelligent way to view the issue.

Craig J. Corsini

San Rafael

We Love to Hear From You

Send your letters to the editor to le*****@******an.com or le*****@********un.com.

Marty O’Reilly and More

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Sonoma

Countdown to ’24

Marty O’Reilly brings his special sauce of steamy, down home blues and soul to New Year’s Eve at the Sebastiani Theatre, Sonoma. Currently in the studio recording his first solo album to be released in the coming new year, O’Reilly and openers Little Worth will be sharing that triumphant feeling with everyone else. Says O’Reilly of performing for an audience, “They come with you on the journey if your heart’s in the right place.” Marty O’Reilly with special guests Little Worth. Doors at 8:30pm, Little Worth 9:30-10:30pm, Marty O’Reilly 11pm-12:20am. Sunday, Dec. 31. Sebastiani Theatre is located at 476 1st St. East, Sonoma. $50 ticket includes a midnight Champagne toast. Winery Sixteen 600’s wines available for purchase.

 
Novato

Bounce Right In

In the We Do It Because We Can category, bouncy balls will be poured 40 feet down onto the street to celebrate New Year’s through physics in action. Scientifically valuable? Maybe. Technically feasible? Definitely! Kids of all ages are invited to Downtown Novato to see what happens when “22,000 small bouncy balls” pour onto the street from the raised ladder of a truck. Kids get a “hard hat” courtesy of Rempe Construction. The bouncy balls are for the kids—and kids at heart— to keep if they can catch them! The organizers say that rain is no problem: “No worries! Your umbrella will protect you from the bouncy balls raining from above!” Bouncy Ball New Year, Novato. 12pm, Dec. 31. Trek Winery, 1026 Machin Ave., Novato. Free.

 
Santa Rosa

Resort Cavort

One can’t do New Year’s Eve without doing New Year’s Eve. Such a night is the White Lotus New Year’s Eve at Vintage Space. Taking on the look of the television show White Lotus Season 2, the evening will have a Sicilian style with a hint of decadence. Semi-formal vacation attire is the order of the night, giving that Italian disco feel to the DJs Miguel Migs and Julius Papp for deep-house rooted soulful dance music that defies categories. 8pm-2am, Sunday, Dec. 31. Vintage Space at Flamingo Resort, 2777 4th St., Santa Rosa. Tickets start at $50.

Napa

Chew Toy

Nothing says bring in the new like bringing out a ’90s rock band. Yet Dogstar has a staying power that is as mysterious as it is tall and handsome. And sometimes that’s all one needs for one good night, a memory of a crush with ’90s guitar music, some drinks and wild dancing with friends, both real and imagined. And yes, Keaunu Reeves will be there. Doors: 8 pm, show: 10pm, Dec. 31. Uptown Theatre, 1350 Third St., Napa. Limited VIP experiences are available at dogstarofficial.com. Dogstar is composed of guitarist/vocalist Bret Domrose, drummer Rob Mailhouse and bassist Keanu Reeves.

So Long, and thanks for All the Fish Wrap

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If you’re not careful, this job will turn you into a cigar-chomping J. Jonah Jameson-style cartoon parody of an editorial professional rather rapidly (except, in my case, with less gray—or, in fact—hair when it comes to my follicular particulars).

Every week is a total crap shoot since one never knows what news will break or who’s going to break your heart with unkind cuts, ruminations on the death of birdcage liner, and various and assorted palace intrigues.

That said, I’m probably composed of more NDAs than DNA at this point, so I’ll hush (as they’ll say in the ’30s, “Don’t trust anyone over 60,” says the man born in ’72). Cough, cough.

Suffice it to say, Roy Batty, the killer replicant in Blade Runner, had it right when he said, “I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe.” 

And that’s just in my inbox. 

Yet, I’ve also received kind words, encouragement and attaboys that have been a psychic salve throughout my tenure, especially this year. Oof.

Having finally learned some lessons this year (like, say, I dunno, the distinction between acrostics, anagrams and acronyms), the most germane has been that there is no skeleton key to the hearts and minds of readers—except, of course, the horoscope and trivia columns, which have rabid followings and inspire the most savage vitriol if unprinted.

Every year has its moments, but 2023 had many. 

Too many—and I’m exhausted, psychically, emotionally, spiritually and financially, as I suspect you might be too.  

Understandably, this might read as a downer column, but don’t let its mawkish (or mocking?) tone obscure that one thing that keeps me sane and perhaps you: the work itself. 

Or, as Graham Green once opined, “Writing is a form of therapy; sometimes I wonder how all those who do not write, compose or paint can manage to escape the madness, melancholia, the panic and fear which is inherent in a human situation.”

Remedy for the “human situation”? 

Far from it—let’s not forget Greene is also the guy who said, “People who like quotes love meaningless generalizations”—his words are a reminder that the words are always waiting, and when in doubt, “Writer, write thyself.” Cheers!

Discover the magic of [Title of Show]: a meta-theatrical gem from Left Edge

Both a funny, self-aware commentary about the unoriginality of Broadway and a pining love song to the Great White Way, Left Edge Theatre’s production of [title of show] is well cast (director Serena Elize Flores), well sung and well-costumed (also Flores). The show runs at Santa Rosa’s The California Theatre through Dec. 23.

Based on the true story of its own birthing, the script follows Jeff (Jonathen Blue) and Hunter (Michael Girts), two unknown playwrights in New York who decide to enter a theater festival. The catch is they only have three weeks to write a musical. So they do what every artist does in these situations: call their friends for help. Heidi (Molly Larsen-Shine), a working Broadway actor, and Susie (Rosie Frater), a woman who has given up acting in exchange for a corporate job, answer their call.

The four of them, along with keyboardist Larry (musical director Ryan Bobbet), compose a short original musical that, against the odds, gets picked to be produced at the festival. This production is followed by an off-Broadway stint and eventually a Broadway run.

Blue is becoming a well-known figure on Sonoma County stages with his amazing singing voice and always engaging stage presence. And while he might not have Girt’s natural aptitude for comedic off-the-cuff ad-libbing, he manages to hold his own.

Girt’s brilliant comedic timing, with its underlying razor-sharp edge, is a custom fit for this role. Frater is, as always, a compelling and skilled actor who elevates every scene she is in. But the real star of this production is Larsen-Shine.

Larsen-Shine is usually seen in large musical productions, where it’s easy to get lost even as a principal character. Her powerful voice and charismatic stage presence are beautifully spotlit in this tiny cast. Her rendition of “A Way Back to Then” is worth the ticket price alone.

Meta-theater is always a gamble. There is a fine line between pulling back the curtain to illuminate the state of the art and self-indulgence. This script is not free of self-indulgence, and it’s not free of Broadway’s exclusionary nature either. So, if one is looking for a show to spark the love of Broadway in a newcomer, this is not it. However, if one is a seasoned theater-goer looking for a break from the obligatory big, family-friendly holiday musicals but would still like to leave the theater smiling, this show fits the bill.

‘[title of show]’ runs through Dec. 23 at The California Theatre. 528 7th St., Santa Rosa. Thur & Fri, 7:30pm; Sat, 1pm. $20–$29. 707.664.PLAY. leftedgetheatre.com.

California’s K-12 schools show progress in graduation rates and attendance, but flat in other areas

In the first glimpse of California’s K-12 schools’ year-over-year progress since the pandemic, graduation rates hit some of their highest levels ever, absenteeism dropped significantly and hundreds of districts showed academic improvements.

But despite a few bright spots, most of the 13 measurements that California uses to gauge student achievement remained flat in the 2023 School Dashboard, which the California Department of Education released last week.

Returning to the color-coded system the state used prior to the pandemic, the new dashboard graded many categories as “yellow,” or mid-way between high and low. In assigning one of five colors, the state combines data about schools’ current performance and progress from previous years, which it says creates a more nuanced picture of achievement. Districts that score red—the lowest grade—for more than one category qualify for extra assistance to make improvements.

During the pandemic, the state didn’t update the dashboard for two years, and then last year didn’t use the color-coding system because there was no previous data to compare it to. This is the first year since 2019 that the dashboard contains full information about test scores and other metrics.

First released in 2018, the dashboard is meant to give the public a fuller view of school performance, beyond just test scores. The dashboard looks at detailed data such as suspension rates, progress of English learners and career readiness, broken down by race and ethnicity and whether students are low-income, in foster care, are homeless or have disabilities.

“In no way, shape or form is yellow a good thing,” said Kimberly Mundhenk, education research and evaluation administrator for the Department of Education. “But it could mean that there’s improvements. … Not all yellows are created equal.”

The number of students who graduated within five years climbed to 88.7%, the highest rate since the state started tracking that data in 2018. More than half of those students qualified for California’s public universities, also the highest rate in years.

Chronic absenteeism, which hit record levels during the pandemic, dropped to 24.3%, down more than five percentage points from last year but still more than double the pre-pandemic level.

“I’m glad to see that we’re starting to turn things around, and that districts that had intentional strategies saw big improvements,” said Hedy Chang, executive director of Attendance Works, which researches the topic. “But we still have a significant challenge before us.”

Los Angeles Unified and Monterey County both doubled down on attendance efforts last year, she said, by examining data, working directly with families to address the barriers to attendance, investing in after-school and summer programs and taking other steps to get students back in the classroom after the height of the pandemic. A comprehensive, data-focused strategy clearly works, Chang said, and the state should encourage all districts to adopt such an approach.

Heather Hough, executive director of Policy Analysis for California Education, said that the state needs to take dramatic steps to jolt schools toward better results. She and her PACE colleagues recently released a study showing that collaboration among teachers, data analysis and extra help for struggling students can have “measurable impacts on student achievement.”

“There isn’t a simple solution, because the problem is that our schools (currently) aren’t organized in a way that supports and empowers educators to make sure every student learns,” she said. “The dashboard release will bring new attention to the issue, and will raise again questions about what, exactly, we need to do.”

“The number of school districts that qualified for what the state calls “differentiated assistance”—extra help based on poor achievement in at least two categories—fell dramatically, from 617 last year to 466 in 2023, primarily because of improvements in attendance, according to the state.

Smarter Balanced test scores were released in October and incorporated into the new dashboard. Mostly unchanged from last year, the dashboard shows English language arts and math both in “orange,” or below average. In English language arts, students scored an average of 13.6 points below the state benchmark on a 200-point scale, and 49.1 points below the standard in math.

Education officials said they were gratified about the dashboard data. State superintendent of public instruction Tony Thurmond said the improvements show that California’s recent investments in K-12 education are beginning to pay off. Since the onset of the pandemic, the state and federal governments have spent billions on tutoring, after-school programs and mental health programs to help students recover from school closures.

“This is encouraging news—and our work is not complete,” Thurmond said. “We need to continue providing students with the tools they need to excel, especially now that we are successfully reengaging our students and families, so we can close gaps in achievement in the same way that we have begun to close the equity gaps in attendance and absenteeism.”

Los Angeles Unified was especially proud of its adjusted four-year graduation rate, which jumped almost five percentage points to 84%. In addition, a record number of graduates—53%—met the admission requirements for University of California and California State University.

“The work we are doing to transform Los Angeles Unified into the premier urban district in the nation is being demonstrated in the remarkable stories of our students overcoming adversity, dedicating themselves to their school work and graduating ready to change the world,” superintendent Alberto Carvalho said. “Our students and families have confronted remarkable challenges since the pandemic, but this is the latest signpost validating the progress we are making as a district.”

San Francisco Unified touted the drop in its chronic absenteeism rate, from 29% to 26%, among almost all student groups. The district had been prioritizing attendance with incentives like schoolwide dance breaks, parent notifications and services to help families get their children to school regularly.

“Attendance is directly tied to student outcomes. If a child doesn’t come to school, they’re not learning,” superintendent Matt Wayne said. “We are pleased to have made progress last year in reducing chronic absenteeism, and we know that more work is needed to continue supporting students in coming to school every day.”

Among English learners, the dashboard assigned “yellow” statewide, based on 48.7% of students advancing in their language skills. But Martha Hernandez, executive director of Californians Together, an English learner advocacy group, said the state should have higher standards for its students.

“We’re happy the state has returned to the color-coded indicators, but we’re very concerned that 48.7% is considered yellow,” Hernandez said. “We’d like to see more aspirational goals, like 80%. … We know that there’s a persistent achievement gap for English learners, but California is giving itself a yellow as if there’s no sense of urgency.”

Students who don’t become proficient in English are more likely to struggle academically and miss out on opportunities to succeed in college and career, she said.

“This is important,” she said. “I think we need to have higher expectations.”

Surviving Your Imbibing

California’s ‘drunkest city’ during the holidays

It’s the time of year again when holiday cheer is served by the glass.

In this regard, my thinking is Cartesian: “I drink, therefore I am.” Thus, the holidays provide an excuse to be full of myself. But, I’m also a Petaluman, where a visitor once opined that they’d never seen so much vomit in a business district, especially during the holidays.

Don’t get me wrong; I’m a staunch supporter of the local bars, clubs and tasting rooms. And I’m not alone. According to a recent article by 24/7 Tempo, Santa Rosa and Petaluma have been identified as California’s most alcohol-consuming region—or the “drunkest,” as local headlines are apt to call them.

The analysis by 24/7 Tempo involved examining the proportion of individuals over 18 who engage in heavy or binge drinking in metropolitan areas across the state, as indicated by the 2023 County Health Rankings & Roadmaps. It found that in the Santa Rosa and Petaluma area, with a population of 482,650, about 23.2% of adults engage in excessive drinking. This figure is notably higher than the California state average of 18.4%. Additionally, the report highlighted that in the county, 32.8% of driving fatalities are alcohol-related, surpassing the state average of 27.7%.

Given the stats, it’s not surprising that Petaluma, a burgeoning wine country-identified locale, was the site of several DUI arrests last Friday night.

During a check-point operation conducted last Friday, one downtown Petaluma location screened 126 vehicles, which resulted in seven DUI-alcohol suspects arrested and one DUI-drugs suspect arrested, as well as one DUI warrant suspect arrested (not to mention the eight drivers cited and/or arrested for operating a vehicle unlicensed or while suspended or revoked). All in, that’s 13.5% of drivers stopped—busted.

On Saturday, an allegedly intoxicated young man knocked over a fire hydrant in Petaluma, fleeing the resulting geyser (and his damaged Dodge Challenger) to chance it on foot, only to be apprehended by Petaluma PD. Vastly more tragically that same night, a man was killed in a head-on collision on Roblar Road by a Volvo SUV driven by a woman suspected of drunk driving.

The uptick in enforcement comes courtesy of a $425,000 grant from the California Office of Traffic Safety (OTS) awarded to the Petaluma Police Department in November.

“This funding will strengthen our commitment to public safety in our community,” Chief Ken Savano said in a statement at the time. “We will be able to increase our efforts in making our roads safer for everyone and focus on critical areas such as distracted driving, impaired driving and speeding.”

On the other end of the spectrum, the Sonoma County District Attorney’s office was also awarded a grant from the OTS, but for a specialized DUI Prosecution Team. District Attorney Carla Rodriguez recently announced that her office received a $516,000 grant from the OTS to continue its specialized prosecution efforts regarding alcohol- and drug-impaired driving cases. It’s the twelfth such grant received in as many years.

As the Petaluma PD likes to remind, “Drivers caught driving impaired and charged with a first-time DUI face an average of $13,500 to $20,000 in fines and penalties, as well as a suspended license.” This, of course, raises the ultimate price of even the most lowly local cocktail considerably (about 200,000%).

Of course, sometimes a good (read: expensive) lawyer can help plea down a DUI into a “wet and reckless” charge, a misdemeanor offense characterized by reckless driving in conjunction with the presence of alcohol. It’s the legal equivalent of getting caught with one’s hand near the cookie jar, regardless of how many cookies one has had.

Because I’m on a newspaper person’s budget and can’t afford the luxury—let alone the staggering ethical lapse—of driving under the influence, I do my public drinking at neighborhood joints within walking or Ubering distance. You should too, though it may require avoiding the red asphalt when crossing the street and the risk of becoming it due to the drunks on the road.

And if you’re staying safely at home, consider these celebratory cocktail options:

The Gin Rickey

A bartender allegedly invented this concoction for a 19th-century Democratic lobbyist named Tom Rickey who despised sugary cocktails. It was a favorite of spy-turned-novelist Graham Greene.

Ingredients:

2 ounces gin

1/2 ounce lime juice, freshly squeezed

Club soda

Procedure: Fill a highball glass with ice, then the gin, and then the lime juice (do not change this order). Top off with the club soda, and garnish with a pair of lime wheels.

Rum Eggnog

No beverage says “Christmas” more than eggnog, and no eggnog is complete without a splash of booze to elevate the experience. Any dark liquor generally works, but this rum-based recipe adds a certain je ne c’est quoi, especially by the second one.

Ingredients:

1 1/2 ounces of rum

1 1/2 ounces port (Sonoma Portworks is a favorite)

1/2 ounce of simple syrup

1 large farm fresh, cage-free, locally-grown, organic egg

Nutmeg, grated

Procedure: Combine the rum, port, simple syrup and egg in a cocktail shaker. Shake without ice at first, then add ice and shake again—vigorously. Strain the results into a wine glass (it’s classier that way), and sprinkle on the nutmeg for an extra Christmas kick.

Cranberry & Ginger Mimosa

If you’re getting into the sparkling wine you’re supposed to save for New Year’s Eve, there’s no better way to camouflage the indiscretion than a holiday-hued mimosa. Hand your partner this Cranberry & Ginger Mimosa when asked, “Who opened the champers?”

Ingredients:

2 ounces ginger beer

2 ounces cranberry juice

Sparkling wine, chilled

Garnish: a sprig of rosemary, a slice of lime or both

Procedure: This is an easy one—just pour it all into a glass and toss and spear a few dried cranberries to garnish if you’re feeling especially fancy. Cheers!

Marin City pastor urges peace advocates to unite amid Israel-Palestine conflict

The war waging in Israel, initiated by the horrendous and atrocious acts of Hamas, and now being prosecuted by the Israeli army, has created the collateral damage of weaponized words and actions among the advocates of peace. Casual antisemitism, as well as the lazy conflation of Hamas to equal all Palestinians, have led to truly unhelpful and hurtful relationships among former allies.

People with a history of standing together for peace and fighting for justice are now alternatively yelling at one another or abstaining from talking to one another. Worse, because peace advocates have relatives and friends living in the small area in which war is being waged, often this vitriol is being hurled at each other during a period of mourning or deep concern about the safety and welfare of loved ones. This has produced deep and personal hurt.

In Gaza and Israel, human suffering is ubiquitous. The binary nature of war pushes people to pick sides. This process, therefore, creates enemies and friends. To be clear, there is a lot wrong here. Some people are responsible for the atrocities and inexcusable actions.

What is also clear is that, as has been the case for many years, a solution cannot and will not be arrived at without the participation of peace advocates and warriors who are equally outraged by specific leaders, actions and policies, not broad assertions that ethnic identities determine moral culpability. That is the very prejudiced and reductionist thinking that initiates and maintains this justification for violence and terrorism.

Israel needs to defend itself and have security for its people. Palestinians’ lives should not be human shields. The present pain must be stopped, and a permanent solution for Palestinians and Israelis to coexist as either a two-state or single-state solution must be found. None of these essential objectives can be accomplished in the presence of Islamophobia or antisemitism.

The bombing must stop, both in rhetoric and in reality. It is time to be adults, put away the childish and hurtful name-calling and stop the simplistic blaming. We need to get about the adult business of making peace.

Rev. Floyd Tompkins is the lead pastor at Saint Andrew Presbyterian Church in Marin City.

Santa Rosa resident suggests keeping Trump and Biden off 2024 presidential ballot

Communion

Catholic Cardinal Raymond Burke described himself as “very happy” with the election of President Donald Trump and has joined other U.S. bishops in calling for President Joe Biden, a Catholic, to be refused communion for his support of abortion laws.

Cardinals swear an oath of fealty to the pope. If this cardinal cannot support his own oath, then he should be removed from the College of Cardinals. I understand that a position for a parish priest in Ukraine is open.

Gary Sciford

Santa Rosa

Ballot Ballyhoo

I completely agree with letter writer Kimball Shinkoskey (“Letters,” 12/6/23): “Donald Trump must not be on the ballot in any state devoted to the rule of law.” But I wish to go further…

Some states are attempting to pass laws to keep Trump off the 2024 presidential ballot. Wouldn’t it be fantastic if neither Trump nor Biden were on any ballot nationwide? (My apologies for being a teeny weeny bit Corsini.)

Barry Barnett

Santa Rosa

Indulge in a traditional English tea at Napa’s Ackerman Heritage House

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Larkspur

Season of Peace

The Marin Country Mart mall throws its doors open late for shoppers and families to gather for the holiday season. The “Twinkle Twinkle” community event at the mall advertises live music, hot toddies and hot chocolate. The kiddos will make Olaf marshmallows and enjoy the petting zoo with Pinky the Pony & Friends. Cocktails can be had in fine holiday tradition while Christmas caroling with the Marin Holiday Singers. 4 to 7pm, Thursday, Dec. 21. Marin Country Mart, 2257 Larkspur Landing Cir., Larkspur.

 
Napa

Tea Time

For a halcyon moment in this tempestuous holiday season, perhaps spending a leisurely afternoon with a traditional English tea might just be the best option around. As a “Napa twist” to the old favorite tea with nibbles, the 1889 Victorian estate of the Ackerman Heritage House serves tea sandwiches, dainty tarts, savory bites, seasonal house-made jams and premium teas “on authentic antique china and sterling silverware carefully curated by Lauren Ackerman.” The final social tea is at 11am, Wednesday, Dec. 20; however, private teas can be scheduled. Ackerman Heritage House, 608 Randolph St., Napa. Parties of six people or less. Tickets are $70 at ackermanfamilyvineyards.com/private-events/afternoon-tea.

 
Sonoma

Music on the Square

Sonoma Plaza has a long, wonderful history of free public music. The Sonoma Tourism Improvement District’s Holiday Music Series concerts take place on and around the excellent facilities of Sonoma Plaza with “professional musicians playing holiday favorites, classical arrangements and interesting takes on traditional music.” The accomplished Dan Gianola-Norris Brass Quartet and multi-multi-instrumentalist Ron Sfarzo’s North Beach Band finish out the series in late December. 2 to 5pm, Saturday, Dec. 23 (Dan Gianola-Norris Brass Quartet) and Sunday, Dec. 30 (Ron Sfarzo’s North Beach Band), Sonoma Plaza, Sonoma. Free.

 
Santa Rosa

Spoken Truth

Museums of Sonoma County presents “Sonoma County Stories,” an interactive experience featuring an oral history project representing 300+ years of history through recorded stories. The exhibition features the personal histories of individuals, families and communities representing the many cultures present in the county over the last two centuries, including Native American, Latino, Asian, African American, European and more. An immersive experience, visitors are invited to use multimedia stations with access to videos, audio recordings and images. 11am to 5pm, Saturday, Dec. 23, Museums of Sonoma County, 425 7th St., Santa Rosa. Tickets are $10 for adults, $7 for seniors and students; children are free.

Real Astrology, Week of 12/20

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ARIES (March 21-April 19): Aries educator Booker T. Washington advised us, “Do the common thing in an uncommon way.” That’s a useful motto for you in the coming months. If you carry out ordinary activities with flair, you will generate good fortune and attract excellent help. As you attend to details with conscientious enthusiasm, you will access your finest inner resources and exert constructive influences on the world around you. Be thorough and unique, persistent and imaginative, attentive and innovative. Adore your chores in 2024!

TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Taurus philosopher John Stuart Mill (1806–1873) was among the smartest people who ever lived. As is often the case with geniuses, he believed in the supreme value of liberty for all. He was a feminist long before that word existed. Like another genius, architect Frank Lloyd Wright, he thought that “individuality realized is the supreme attainment of the human soul, the master-master’s work of art. Individuality is sacred.” I nominate Mill to be a role model for you in 2024, Taurus. This could be a time when you reach unprecedented new heights and depths of unique self-expression and liberation. P.S.: Here’s a quote from Mill: “Eccentricity has always abounded where strength of character has abounded; and the amount of eccentricity in a society has been proportional to the amount of genius, mental vigor, and moral courage which it contained.”

GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Emotionally and spiritually, you will ripen at a robust rate in 2024. Your intelligence will mature into wisdom in surprising and gratifying ways. Harvesting rich lessons from long-smoldering confusions and long-simmering mysteries will be your specialty. P.S.: Some of you Geminis joke around and say you never want to grow up. But I hope you minimize that attitude in the coming months.

CANCER (June 21-July 22): Indigenous people study the intelligence of animals and incorporate it into their own lives. If you’re game to do that in 2024, I suggest you choose elephants as a source of teaching and inspiration. Have fun studying and meditating on their ways! Here are a few facts to get you started. Problem-solving is one of their strengths. They are experts at learning how to get what they need and passing that knowledge on to their offspring. They seldom suffer from sickness, but if they do, they often self-medicate with plants in their environment. Elder females are the knowledge keepers, retaining inner maps of where food, drink and other resources are located.

LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): Writer Janet Champ speaks about the joy of locating “the big wow, the big yesyesyes.” It happens when you find something or someone you regard as “better, greater, cuter, wiser, more wonderful than anything you have ever known.” I’ll be lavish and predict you will encounter a big wow and yesyesyes like this in 2024. Will you know what to do with it? Will you be able to keep it? Those possibilities are less certain, but I have high hopes for you. For best results, cultivate a vivid vision of how the big wow and big yesyesyes will benefit others as well as you.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): In 1916, most women in the world could not vote. Many men considered women to be inferior—lacking in courage and initiative. It was the Dark Ages! That summer, two sisters named Augusta and Adeline Van Buren rebelled against the stereotypes by riding their motorcycles across America. Roads were poor, rains were frequent and police arrested them frequently for wearing men’s clothes. Male-dominated media derided them, with one newspaper criticizing their escape from “their proper roles as housewives.” I nominate them to be your role models in 2024, no matter what gender you are. It will be a favorable time to transcend conventional wisdom, override decaying traditions and be a cheerful rebel.

LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): For hundreds of years, European nations stole land and resources from Indigenous people all over the world. Among the thefts were art, ritual objects, cultural treasures and human skeletons. Museums in the West are still full of such plunder. But in recent years, some museums have begun to return the loot. Germany sent back hundreds of artifacts to Nigerian museums. France restored many objects to the African country of Benin. Let’s apply this scenario as a useful metaphor for you in 2024, Libra. Is there a part of your past that was hijacked? Your memories appropriated or denied? Your rightful belongings poached, or your authentic feelings infringed upon? It’s time for corrections and healing.

SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): I suggest we choose the brilliant Scorpio physicist and chemist Marie Curie (1867–1934) as your role model in 2024. She is the only person to win a Nobel Prize in two different fields. She managed to pursue a rigorous scientific career while raising two children and having a fulfilling marriage. Being of service to humanity was a central life goal. She grew up in poverty and sometimes suffered from depression, but worked hard to become the genius she aspired to be. May the spirit of Marie Curie inspire you, dear Scorpio, as you make dramatic progress in expressing your unique soul’s code.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): In my fairy tale about your year ahead, I see you searching for treasure. It’s not a wild and wandering exploration, but a diligent, disciplined quest. You are well-organized about it, carefully gathering research and asking incisive questions. You ruminate on the possibilities with both your logical and intuitive faculties. You meditate on how you might make adjustments in yourself so as to become fully available for the riches you seek. Your gradual, incremental approach gives you strength. You draw inspiration from your sheer persistence and relentless inquiry. And it all pays off by the second half of 2024.

CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): “All the things I really like to do are either illegal, immoral, or fattening,” quipped Capricorn author Alexander Woollcott (1887–1943). Since he was never arrested, I conclude he didn’t get to enjoy some of the activities he relished. Was he immoral? Not exactly, though he could be caustic. Offering his opinion about a famous pianist, he said, “There is absolutely nothing wrong with Oscar Levant that a miracle couldn’t fix.” The good news for you, Capricorn, is that 2024 will be mostly free of the problems Woollcott experienced. You will be offered an abundance of perfectly legal and moral enjoyments. They may sometimes be fattening, but so what?

AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Author Augusten Burroughs is a devoted urban dweller. He says, “When I get a craving for nature, I turn on TV’s Discovery Channel and watch bear-attack survivors recount their horror.” Martial arts master Morihei Ueshiba had a different perspective. “Mountains, rivers, plants, and trees should be your teachers,” he advised. “Study how water flows in a valley stream, smoothly and freely between the rocks.” I recommend Ueshiba’s approach to you in 2024, Aquarius—not Burroughs’. Here are my predictions: 1. You will have no dangerous encounters with nature. 2. You will learn more than ever from the wild world. 3. To the degree that you wander in the outdoors, your spiritual life will thrive.

PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): A study done at Union College in New York found that being fraternity members raised students’ future income by 36%, but lowered their grade point average by 0.25 points. Would you make a similar trade-off, Pisces? Would you pursue a path that made you more successful in one way but less successful in another? I suspect you will encounter unusual decisions like this in 2024. My job is not to advise you what to do, but to make you alert for the provocative riddles.

Your Letters, 12/27

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Real Astrology, Week of 12/20

In 2024, Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius, Pisces, and Scorpio should strive to do the common thing in an uncommon way, while Libra should be inspired by Marie Curie, Scorpio should pursue a rigorous scientific career, Capricorn should seek treasure, Aquarius should learn from nature, and Pisces should make unusual decisions.
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