Cheesy Poetry Contest

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Are you gaga for gouda? Passionate about parmesan? Mad about mozzarella? For all you cheese lovers out there, here’s your chance to embrace your inner Shakespeare and start slinging some stanzas. The lucky winner of the Bohemian’s Cheesiest Poetry Contest will receive two tickets to the tenth-annual Sonoma Valley Cheese Conference, running Feb. 23-27! (For more info, see details here.)

So don’t delay. Send us your best ode to gorgonzola or havarti haiku. Send us a sestina that rhymes its way into our curdled hearts, a sonnet that shows us the whey, a limerick that lingers long after the pizza is gone. Get creative. Have fun. And remember: The cheesier, the better.

Send all entries to le*****@******an.com by midnight on Wednesday, Feb. 20.

(Cheese image via Shutterstock.)

Feb. 17: Pop Wicked Divas at the Wells Fargo Center

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You might remember Nicole Parker from her MADtv days of impersonating Britney Spears with hilarious lyrics like “Went to rehab, left too soon, made my hair look like the moon,” but Broadway-goers know her best as Elphaba, the evil melting green witch from Wicked. This week, the Santa Rosa Symphony teams up with Parker and fellow Wicked star Emily Rozek (Glinda, pictured) for Pop Wicked Divas, a concert of not only songs from Wicked but from Chicago, Phantom of the Opera, My Fair Lady and others, on Sunday, Feb. 17, at the Wells Fargo Center. 50 Mark West Springs Road, Santa Rosa. 3pm. $32—$75. 707.546.3600.

Feb. 16: Barbara Cook at the Green Music Center

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Known for her powerful soprano voice, from The Music Man to Funny Girl, Barbara Cook has done it all and more than earned the title of “Broadway legend” along the way. Now 85, Cook recently returned to Carnegie Hall—the site of her most famous live recording—and proved that her strength is undiminished; as the New York Times put it the next day, “Ms. Cook has reached the point in her career where she has nothing left to prove.” Catch Cook in a special post—Valentine’s Day concert on Saturday, Feb. 16, at the Green Music Center. 1801 E. Cotati Ave., Rohnert Park. $35—$90. 8pm. 866.955.6040.

Feb. 15-16: North Bay Hootenanny ‘Big Bash’ at the Arlene Francis Center

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Started in 2010, the North Bay Hootenanny is a two-day local music fest of folk, bluegrass and Americana music that began as a forum for local artists to connect and spread their love of music. Featuring close to 30 bands, this year’s event offers warm food, drinks, free dance lessons for couples and a kid’s area for all tiny rockers. See T Luke and the Tight Suits, the Easy Leaves, Under the Radar, Les Bon Temps, the Leftovers, Little Lost Boys (pictured), Travis Hendrix and the Blessed Moonshiners and many others on Friday and Saturday, Feb. 15—16, at the Arlene Francis Center. 99 Sixth St., Santa Rosa. 3pm—midnight. $10—$15 each day. 707.528.3009.

Feb. 15: Jake Shimabukuro at the Marin Center

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Shredding on the ukulele like a mad dog let loose on the new mailman, Jake Shimabukuro is often referred to as the “Jimi Hendrix of ukulele.” Shimabukuro produces sounds no one quite expects from a tiny four-stringed instrument; he has said that although he feels the ukulele is the underdog of all instruments, “if everyone played the ukulele, this world would be a much happier place.” He’s best known for his cover of George Harrison’s “While My Guitar Gently Weeps,” which boasts over 11 million views on YouTube. See him live on Friday, Feb. 15, at the Marin Center. 10 Avenue of the Flags, San Rafael. $25—$45. 8pm. 415.499.6400.

Letters to the Editor: February 13, 2013

Tom Sawyer Days

I read your article about the redwood tree removal on Airport Boulevard and the sale of taxpayers’ trees for the company’s profit (“Deadwood Hwy.,” Jan. 30). That money should be at work patching the potholes or employing someone. Instead, the owner of Ghilotti Bros. is already planning that vacation or new car.

I grew up along Mark West Creek when they built the freeway. My brother and I used to fish that creek for trout, steelhead, blue gill, turtles, frogs, toads, salamanders, crawdads—it was all there, like Tom Sawyer. Then they built the freeway and Wikiup, and after a few years of construction the creek changed. Now water flow is blocked and swimming holes are dried up to be little more than moss-covered ponds.

Vineyards stealing water resources, new construction and now the theft of the taxpayers’ trees—all thanks to officials who did not grow up in Sonoma County. Thanks for your armed robbery without a gun, only with profit in mind.

Santa Rosa

Cool Down, Man

Reading your letters edition, I was blown away by the radical letters from J. B. Grant and Moss Henry. Obviously these people don’t like the government or President Obama. (I like the president, but I don’t like the war we’re in.)

J. B. Grant takes the Ron Paul copout that violence overseas brings violence here—jive! Moss Henry: whistleblowers, torture—please!

Are you guys men or are you babies? You remind me of a bunch of Republicans. Raids on pot clubs, the war in Afghanistan—those things I could complain about, but this other stuff is nonsense. I like Obama. He is cool. You other guys are crybabies, radicals and malcontents.

Grow up, people. Would you rather have Romney running the country? I think not.

Gilroy

Funny Valentine

I told my girlfriend the other day, “Love is but lonely voids. Baby, I know it sounds weird and super emo, but I heard even Einstein believed love was empty space. To exist in space is to be lonely. To exist in space is to be in love. You wouldn’t be lonely if you didn’t need love. You wouldn’t be in love if you weren’t lonely. Lonely love = ‘lovely’ forever and everywhere always . . . even when we’re assholes about it.”

Stars undulate, giving birth to each other, filling empty space for the loneliness of it all. But I feel bad sometimes, feverishly questioning everything worth believing in, out of fear for the loneliness of it all. Shit’s cold up there between warm bodies. She gets scared at things I say, and I can’t blame her. Things like, “Love may be an abstract neurosis beyond the necessity for survival” and “I wonder if the planets ever feel like they’re being held hostage.” Or even, “Love is but lonely voids.” I’m aware that sometimes I fill the aforementioned empty space with stone-jaded plugs of an asshole. But please print this so she knows how much I love her, empty spaces and all.

Cotati

Historic Past

I am not eager for the development of Sonoma into a resort destination and wine country theme park. (Even though many citizens might argue we are already beyond the tipping point.)

The proposed luxury hotel brings us closer to the selling of the town, the plaza for profit, not for the people who live and work here. Perhaps a better vision for Sonoma is one that takes pride in our historic past, our beloved plaza and a community rooted in agriculture. An authentic place, not “branded” to enrich investors. Why would we be eager to install a luxury hotel whose investors profit by Sonoma’s intrinsic values, all the while eroding what we love about our town?

Sonoma

Bad Date

The photo for your cover story (“Worst. Date. Ever.,” Jan. 23) is puzzling. A slickly dressed young man with a cigarette in his hand flirting with a young lady with a plunging neckline states confusing messages. Is he waiting for his Johnnie Walker Blue Label scotch while the target of his affection is waiting for a highly rated Russian River Pinot Noir?

Let’s be more responsible and take that cigarette out of his hand.

Bodega Bay

Write to us at le*****@******an.com.

No Rules

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The ominous, unclassifiable tones of the waterphone have been favorites of sci-fi and thriller movie composers for 40 years, and experimental musicians love its nearly-impossible-to-predict sound. Played underwater with a bow dragged across metal tines, it speaks the language of the whales for miles in every direction. The chance to hear its creator Richard Waters play it live is rare.

This week, Waters plays his most famous instrument and other handmade specialties in Petaluma with the Gravity Adjusters Expansion Band and Full Disclosure in a concert dubbed “When Worlds Collide.” “This kind of music is different,” says bassist Rob Wright, a member of free-jazz group Full Disclosure. “We’re combining avant-garde and free-improv. Our only rule is that there are no rules.”

Gary Knowlton, who will play the flaming hyena, a stringed instrument of his own creation, will add to the program of ephemeral music created entirely in the moment. “I wanted to do something that includes elements of the soundscapes that Richard does with his special instruments with the traditional high-energy, jazz-driven stuff with Full Disclosure,” says Wright.

This might sound beautiful, strange, soothing or scary, but the musicians are all formally trained, including Wright, a bassist and teacher. “For me, this kind of music is an expression of the moment,” he says. “No one who plays this music seriously comes out of a void—it comes out of technique and background.”

The music will feature “lots of invented instruments, and some invented-long-ago instruments,” says Cinnabar executive artistic director Elly Lichenstein, looking forward to the concoction of jazz, blues, classical, experimental music and poetry.

The musical stylings are reminiscent of one-time Petaluma resident Harry Partch. The avant-garde American composer invented hundreds of instruments, and composed music based on speech patterns, fashioning melodies out of the timbre of sentences. One of his most popular works is the 1963 piece “And on the Seventh Day, Petals Fell in Petaluma.”

Another source of inspiration is Tony D’Anna, a musician who passed away at the age of 71 in January of last year. D’Anna spent roughly 25 years as the accompanist of Cinnabar’s summer children’s music program. “He just had a gift working with kids,” says Lichenstein. Though more a jazz player than a musical theater fan, D’Anna fit right in with the program, and, Lichtenstein says, “the kids miss him terribly.”

D’Anna himself played the waterphone, as well as piano and other instruments. Wright played with him for about 15 years, recalling D’Anna’s bebop piano gigs to which he would bring a baby grand piano using a truck and dolly. Between late-night gigs, he’d play Beethoven sonatas each morning. The concert is dedicated in part to his memory.

Wright, whose first bass teacher played in Partch’s orchestra, says though the two never played together to his knowledge, D’Anna and Partch were on a similar path. “There’s some sort of spiritual connection,” he intones, “between Richard and Harry.”

You Need Coolin’

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Led Zeppelin and dancing babes—could there be anything more perfect?

If you’re looking for a way to spend your Valentine’s Day other than at home watching The Notebook and eating Ben & Jerry’s, look no further than the Whole Lotta Love Valentine’s Day Celebration at Aubergine.

Cabaret de Caliente promoter and performer Eva D’Lucious (above) wanted to introduce a new audience to burlesque by providing something for both men and women to enjoy. “A few ladies have emailed me that Whole Lotta Love will be their first Burlesque show,” she notes, “and a big part of the reason their partners want to attend is because we’re featuring Led Zeppelin.”

Raven-haired, tattooed lady Siren Sapphire will strut the stage to “Black Dog,” while the Scarlet Harlot plans a dance to the one and only “Immigrant Song.” Other performances include pole dancer Carrie Bare, Pearl E. Gates, the iCandy Dancers, Boylesque group Bohemian Brethren and more. Zeppelin mashups and live recordings play during intermission, while a raffle for those who bring a new book or children’s pajamas for charity offers choice prizes. Whole Lotta Love, featuring Eva herself dancing to “Dazed and Confused,” gets steamy on Thursday, Feb. 14, at Aubergine. 755 Petaluma Ave., Sebastopol. $15–$35. 8pm. 707.861.9190.

Frenchie Winery

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Every winery has a story, and is pleased to tell it. On the website, look for the tab labeled “Our Story.” You’ll find that the people who get into this business are most often accomplished, well traveled and passionate about wine. You’ll also find that, after while, all of these wonderfully unique stories begin to run together, sounding a bit like “blah blah blah.” So this week, we’re taking a look at a different sort of story. This one goes “bow wow wow.”

One warm afternoon, as Jean-Charles Boisset strolled through the parking lot of Raymond Vineyards, he found that a car had been left running, air conditioning on. The vehicle’s only occupants were two hapless pooches, left waiting while their masters lapped up Chardonnay. Being the owner of the winery, and possessing no deficit of people-whispering charm, Boisset took the liberty of shutting off the car and bringing the dogs into the tasting room and to their surprised owners. It was on that day that Boisset, native son of Burgundy who voyaged west in search of new opportunity, declared: There shall be a winery just for the dogs.

Frenchie is named for a French bulldog, a gift from Boisset to his wife to keep her company while he’s away on business—leaving her, Gina Gallo, with naught to do but run her own international wine empire. The “winery” is really just a Frenchie-themed shed set amid Raymond’s biodynamic gardens, which are best appreciated in spring and summer. Winter highlights include newborn lambs, and clucking chickens and peafowl year-round. While dogs snooze inside their own private wine barrels furnished with pillows, or cavort with others in the gated kennel, their human guardians can keep an eye on them via live video link in the tasting room. In June, there’s a “Bark-b-que.”

There’s only water on tap out here; Frenchie sports his own line of wines at the tasting bar inside, where one dollar from the sale of each bottle is donated to the SPCA. The spoof labels are solid cute; the wines, seriously appealing. A 60/40 Sonoma and Napa blend, the 2009 Napoleon Red ($30) starts with young aromas of plum, licorice and graphite, finishing all sweet plum jam and puckery tannins. In the way that a freshly washed dog smells like a dog, only less so, the 2009 Louis XIV Cabernet Sauvignon ($30) smells shyly of fresh brambleberries and cedar, but licks the tongue with assertive tannin, and plush, sweet, ripe blackberry fruit. So who’s drooling and yapping now?

Frenchie Winery at Raymond Vineyards, 849 Zinfandel Lane, St. Helena. Daily, 10am–4pm. Tasting fees vary. 707.963.3141.

Park Life

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Skateboarders, gardeners, hikers and coffee lovers in Monte Rio just got great news. An abandoned school site has been approved for conversion into a park that will include a skatepark, community farm, hiking trail and cafe. The $1.4 million project is possible through a $329,000 grant from the Sonoma County Agricultural Preservation and Open Space District and $995,000 of former redevelopment funds. The skatepark is assisted by $5,000 from the Tony Hawk Foundation.

Construction of the 2.8-acre park will begin this week and should be finished this year. After a 20-year vacancy, children’s laughter (and possibly some crying from the skatepark) will once again be heard at the former school site. Efforts are also planned to restore Schoolhouse and Dutch Bill creeks for salmon and steelhead.

Another boon to outdoor recreation saw the Sonoma County Board of Supervisors approve the transfer of 1,100 acres of open space overlooking Santa Rosa on Taylor Mountain to the Regional Parks Department last week. The public grand opening is scheduled for Feb. 23.

This marks the culmination of almost two decades of planning and purchasing land by the Open Space District, which spent about $21 million on the project. Much of the land had been open to the public since 2010 through a permit program run by Santa Rosa nonprofit LandPaths. Trails, including a staging area off Petaluma Hill Road, are planned in the future thanks to a $750,000 state grant. The main access point in the meantime is still off Kawana Terrace in south Santa Rosa.

Now if only the proposed clearcut-to-vineyard site of Preservation Ranch could be turned into protected open space, we’d be all set. Hmm . . .

Cheesy Poetry Contest

Send us your cheesiest poetry for a chance to win two tickets to the Sonoma Valley Cheese Conference

Feb. 17: Pop Wicked Divas at the Wells Fargo Center

You might remember Nicole Parker from her MADtv days of impersonating Britney Spears with hilarious lyrics like “Went to rehab, left too soon, made my hair look like the moon,” but Broadway-goers know her best as Elphaba, the evil melting green witch from Wicked. This week, the Santa Rosa Symphony teams up with Parker and fellow Wicked star Emily...

Feb. 16: Barbara Cook at the Green Music Center

Known for her powerful soprano voice, from The Music Man to Funny Girl, Barbara Cook has done it all and more than earned the title of “Broadway legend” along the way. Now 85, Cook recently returned to Carnegie Hall—the site of her most famous live recording—and proved that her strength is undiminished; as the New York Times put it...

Feb. 15-16: North Bay Hootenanny ‘Big Bash’ at the Arlene Francis Center

Started in 2010, the North Bay Hootenanny is a two-day local music fest of folk, bluegrass and Americana music that began as a forum for local artists to connect and spread their love of music. Featuring close to 30 bands, this year’s event offers warm food, drinks, free dance lessons for couples and a kid’s area for all tiny...

Feb. 15: Jake Shimabukuro at the Marin Center

Shredding on the ukulele like a mad dog let loose on the new mailman, Jake Shimabukuro is often referred to as the “Jimi Hendrix of ukulele.” Shimabukuro produces sounds no one quite expects from a tiny four-stringed instrument; he has said that although he feels the ukulele is the underdog of all instruments, “if everyone played the ukulele, this...

Letters to the Editor: February 13, 2013

Letters to the Editor: February 13, 2013

No Rules

Experimental sounds, handmade instruments in once-in-a-lifetime concert at Cinnabar

You Need Coolin’

Have a Led Zep–themed burlesque Valentine's Day

Frenchie Winery

The pooch's own hooch

Park Life

Skateboarders, gardeners, hikers and coffee lovers in Monte Rio just got great news. An abandoned school site has been approved for conversion into a park that will include a skatepark, community farm, hiking trail and cafe. The $1.4 million project is possible through a $329,000 grant from the Sonoma County Agricultural Preservation and Open Space District and $995,000 of...
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