Important events as reported by daily newspapers and summarized by Daedalus Howell

Tuesday 02.27.01

The first train in over two years pulled into the Petaluma depot in mid-February, reports the Argus-Courier, resulting in the first train story in over two years for the city’s flagship newspaper. In the coming months, the Northwestern Pacific Railway Co.’s 1,500-horsepower locomotive will be hauling beer, grain, and lumber to Petaluma from Schellville–offering fierce competition for the Napa Wine Train, which moves only middlebrow winos.

Monday 02.26.01

In 1994, Cotati bought land for a proposed 48-unit senior housing complex, but ran out of money before its completion. Though the original seniors interested in the low-income units have long since passed, a new crop will soon be calling the Charles Street Village home, at least for a little while, according to the Press Democrat. The complex, affectionately nicknamed the Mausoleum, is comprised of 13 buildings a few steps from the downtown hub. “They are not just left in their units; there are actually activities that they will be encouraged to participate in,” says regional manager Annie Derringer. Among the activities will be waiting and waiting and waiting for visitors, as well as pinning the scythe on the reaper.

Friday 02.23.01

Greedy Canucks no longer satisfied with laundering their useless coinage for ours via innocent vending machines have a new scheme, reports the Marin Independent Journal. The FBI is warning residents to beware of the “Canadian lottery scam” wherein a telemarketer calls and convinces suckers that they have hit the Canadian jackpot, but in order to collect they need to send a cashier’s check to process the paperwork or cover taxes. Not dissimilar to the “I have a girlfriend in Canada scam” perpetrated by virgin males to account for make-believe sexual conquests, the con often results in dozens of useless calls north of the border. For more information, e-mail your credit card numbers (with expiration dates) to [email protected].

Thursday 02.22.01

Tomales High School is no longer home of the Braves, just land of a hundred dogmatic jocks, reports the Point Reyes Light. More than 100 Tomales High School students, a third of the student body, cut morning classes to protest Shoreline School District trustees’ vote asking the school council to pick a new mascot to replace the “Braves,” presumably because it is offensive to Native Americans. Demonstrators lined the road to the high school, waved signs, and chanted, “It’s our school!” to which the deposed spirits of thousands of coastal Miwok retorted, “It’s our land!” Principal Terry Hughey entreated the protesters to return to class, but was out-testosteroned. Varsity boys basketball captain Kevin Ballatore said that if his involvement in the protest meant forfeiting the last game of the season–so be it; he wasn’t interested in playing if he couldn’t be a Brave. Choose your battles, Kev. In an unrelated story, a Native American basketball team has elected to use “Angry White Boy” as their team mascot name.

From the March 1-8, 2001 issue of the Northern California Bohemian.

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