Mourning the Loss of Mr. Teeth, Pot-Guarding Gator

Mr. Teeth, a jovial caiman who worked as a security guard at a local residential marijuana distribution center died this morning. Though it is uncertain, Mr. Teeth is thought to have been 16 years old.

The caiman, often confused for an allligator, was found unresponsive on duty, leaving the 34 pounds of pot he was supposed to be protecting to be collected by authorities in Castro Valley. It’s owner said Mr. Teeth was hired to commemorate rapper Tupac Shakur’s death, which would have been about 16 years ago.

Mr. Teeth arrived at the Oakland Zoo in critical unresponsive and in critical condition. Cause of death is unknown at this point. No autopsy plans have been made public.

Funeral arrangements have not been released at this time.

Sonoma County Library