Most know Stacey Lawson as the millionaire political newcomer who moved to Marin to run for Congress. But from 2007-2010, Stacey Lawson blogged for the Huffington Post. Most of her posts were new-agey spiritual stuff: “Embrace a Miracle Reality,” “You Become as You Think,” “Knowledge is Bondage.” The titles of all her posts can be found at this ufollow archival link.
What can’t be found are the posts themselves, because Lawson had all of them deleted. And judging from her post “What it Means to Delete Everything and Start Over,” dug up last night by Empire Report, it was probably a wise thing to do. An excerpt:
And while perhaps it sounds like a liberating process to face ones demons and invite them back into the heart, each step has been death. My idealized identity, the safe picture of “self” which has shielded me from these shameful aspects, is crumbling into nothingness. There is nothing to hold onto. There is no ground to stand upon. I am DYING. And it is terrifying.
Despite the pain and despair, I have tried to stay alert, watchful. I want to find out what this dying is. I have discovered an enormous burden of sorrow and suffering within me. I want to know if I can be free from this false self and from this sorrow.
As I have hurtled toward oblivion, it has felt like my skin is being pealed off, followed by muscle and tendon and bone until there is nothing left. Everything must die this inevitable death. What is Truth? How can one know the answer unless everything is stripped away? Every veil, every gauze of perception, every conditioned belief.
“Delete everything and start over,” suggested a good friend. All my well worn beliefs? Piles of crap. Delete. Everything I thought I knew? Bullshit. Delete. My personality? A bunch of absurd story lines. I have slowly been deleting everything and starting over.
This is a person running for U.S. Congress?
Read the whole thing here.
UPDATE: Empire Report has reprinted all of Stacey Lawson’s Huffington Post writings here.