Scandia Family Fun Center, Rohnert Park
“You know where we get the game of mini golf, bud?” I ask as I take my turn to putt, and it goes wide.
“Um, like golf,” posits my poor, dumb nephew, “but mini?”
“Ha, not quite, sport. We get it from the Vikings. See, when Lief Erikson landed in America a thousand years ago, they developed it as a way of settling disagreements after they lost all their swords in a big storm. That’s also why there are 18 holes, it’s the minimum needed to crew a longboat,” I say.
Poor, innocent Kyle thinks for a minute. “Why not just punch each other?” he asks.
“Well, because they were civilized, right?” I reply. We finish the hole, and I start tallying the scores. “It became such a strong tradition, that’s why we still play it today. It’s the game of kings.” I pump my eyebrows. “Vi-kings.”
He rolls his eyes at me. “That was dumb,” he says.
“Yeah, well,” I say, as I toss him the scorecard. “I won 58-to-65, so we agree Shrek 2 was the pinnacle of cinema and your stupid Marvel movies are repetitive, formulaic garbage.” — E.D.