A Piece of God’s Ass


For a paltry $300, North Bay residents can buy a piece of late bike guru Sheldon Brown, or at least a piece of a bike that was once very, very close to him. Brown (1944&–2008) was considered by many bike tinkerers and bike nerds to be the source for the most obscure and arcane information about bike mechanics, through his website SheldonBrown.com. A May 2 Craigslist ad offers buyers the chance to own a rare “esoteric bike gem with great history,” once owned by Brown. What could it be? A wrench gripped by Brown’s capable hand? A water bottle that touched his wise lips? Is that creepy? Yes. But probably not as disturbing as the actual relic up for sale: a Brooks saddle. That’s a high-quality leather bike seat, the kind that ordinarily retails new for less than $100 but which had presumably been molded into the shape of Brown’s own godly ass and baptized in his sweet, saintly ball sweat. Only $300. Skeptics, calling for proof of ownership, need not send for a DNA test, ’cause the saddle comes with a letter of authenticity from Brown’s widow. The seat’s legit. “Please no low balling,” the ad warns.