Dear Idiotic, Spoiled Bullies

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In 2002, I found myself fresh out of a toxic relationship with two very young children, the three of us homeless. We hopped from couch to couch and often slept in the back of our van while I looked for permanent housing. My savings account had been gutted by my addict ex and while I had been hired to start a student employment position when my fall course load began at SRJC, I had nothing but a box of clothes and a few stacks of books to my name.

In those first months of crawling back from rock bottom, my daughters and I relied primarily on WIC (and, thankfully, Food Not Bombs) for our meals. This program, which stands to suffer greatly during this and any further government shutdowns, literally kept the three of us alive. Each month, we were given vouchers for food staples like peanut butter, cereal, beans, cheese, carrots and orange juice to use at our local market.

Yes, I should have gotten a job faster. I should have asked my parents for money (side note: my parents have no money). Maybe I should have used safer sex and waited to have kids. Regardless of who was at fault, or how bad I had fucked up by staying in an unhealthy relationship until it left me penniless and emotionally gutted, my kids—the beautiful, compassionate, lovely girls of mine—did not deserve to go hungry.

So you, instigators of this government shutdown, you “suicide caucus” Republicans with your so-called strategy and even more so-called Christian values: what the fuck are you thinking by throwing this adolescent tantrum of yours? So you don’t want affordable healthcare. Too late—it’s a law! Meanwhile, have you thought about the consequences of your actions? That breastfeeding women and small children go hungry when WIC programs are suspended? That seniors and others who rely on Section 8 vouchers may face eviction if HUD funds can’t be distributed?

You should be ashamed of yourselves. Put your big-boy pants on and stop acting like spoiled little brats.

“Christian values,” my ass.

Dani Burlison is a contributor to the Bohemian who lives in Santa Rosa.

Open Mic is a weekly op/ed feature in the Bohemian. We welcome your contribution. To have your topical essay of 350 words considered for publication, send it to op*****@******an.com.

Back in Black

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The ubiquitous black wall is instantly recognizable by every American: 53,253 names etched in white stand out as ghosts from a controversial and bloody war. The Vietnam Veterans Memorial in Washington, D.C. is among the most moving, sacred places in the country. Very few speak in its presence, choosing to solemnly reflect on the atrocities of war. An 80 percent scale replica of this moving tribute will be in Petaluma this week, complete with ceremonies each of its five days in Sonoma County, with an escorted arrival at 3pm at the Petaluma Elks Lodge on Wednesday, Oct. 9. Opening ceremonies take place Thursday, Oct. 10, at Lucchesi Park, 320 N. McDowell Blvd., Petaluma. 1pm. Free. The wall is open 24 hours a day from Oct. 9-13.
www.thehistoryconnection.net.

Logical Conclusion

Everyone knows it’s best to trust those who make our food, and more importantly, not to upset them. Since farmers ultimately produce all of our food, it stands to reason that we should trust them, as should the nation’s lawmakers and Monsanto itself, and stop trying to destroy heritage crops with genetically modified seeds. This infallible logic should certainly influence the law of the land, but if we’ve learned anything this past week, it’s that logic doesn’t often prevail in politics. So, this time, it’s up to the people. Over 1,000 people turned out for an anti-GMO rally in May, and organizers hope to increase that number for the March Against Monsanto on Saturday, Oct. 12, beginning at Santa Rosa City Hall. 100 Santa Rosa Ave., Santa Rosa. 2pm. For more info, see
www.occupysonomacounty.org.
–Nicolas Grizzle

The Royal Scam

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As “Chloe” headed to a friend’s Bay Area home to do some spiritual work, she had no clue she was about to get sucked into a pyramid scheme. “The topic of abundance came up, and my friend touted it as this amazing parallel economy,” says Chloe, whose name has been changed for this article. So, last September, she ended up borrowing half of the $5,000 “gift” required to join her friend in a women’s “gifting circle.” Chloe says she trusted the women involved—they made her feel special, as though she’d been hand-selected to join, and the promise of moving up through different levels where she’d eventually be “gifted” $40,000 didn’t hurt either.

Gifting circles have been around for years, but the latest iteration—think The Secret meets Bernie Madoff—is cloaked in the language of abundance, spiritual growth and law of attraction. “This is a group of women who work in pretty high-end spiritual stuff,” explains Chloe, who was recruited into a group where the top-level member, known as “dessert” in circle parlance, was from Sebastopol. With rising suspicion upon learning about the complicated backing system, feverish recruitment efforts and progressively stringent (and secret) guidelines, Chloe started doing her own research into the collapse of similar circles in Oregon. That’s when she realized that her wisdom “circle” looked suspiciously like a pyramid.

Circles like Chloe’s have been going around for years, by different names—Women’s Integrity Group, Women Helping Women, Women Empowering Women, Circle of Friends, Wisdom Circles—but all carry a basic (unspoken) premise: Give a “gift” of money and it will come back eightfold. Participants join at the “appetizer” level, moving through “soup and salad” into “entrée” and finally “dessert,” wherein $40,000 arrives via new recruits. The circles are often pitched as a means to women’s economic empowerment, or as an alternative to standard banking systems and male-driven economic structures. (Considering 24 million women in the United States live below the poverty line, and countless others have little to no savings, investments or retirement funds, alternative economies can be an alluring prospect.)

“It’s becoming madness,” says “Jordan,” a young herbalist who became involved in a Women’s Wisdom Circle last February in the Santa Cruz area, who also asked that her real name not be used. Jordan compares the profligate growth of circle culture among her Burning Man-loving friends to a virus, one that quickly reached a saturation point. “There was nobody left to invite,” she recalls.

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Jordan says she was drawn in by promises of a living workshop with built-in leadership training, and the fact that all of her friends were doing it, despite initial misgivings that “something was not right.” She enjoyed the weekly sisterhood phone conferences centered around empowerment, esteem-building and manifestation of dreams. But after nine months, Jordan became uncomfortable with the constant push to invite other women into the circle (she was encouraged not to use the word “recruit”), even if it meant convincing them to go into debt to procure the $5,000 entry “gift.” She asked to be gifted out, and describes how the group leader brought her to tears after suggesting that she couldn’t move past her “blocks” enough to let the money go.

“They made me feel less evolved for wanting to drop out,” Jordan explains. Now, good friends still entrenched in “circle culture” won’t return her calls.

Jordan describes a culture of willful blindness, blind faith and good intentions gone south that infused her particular circle. When one “Senior Sister” (the name given to women who have gone through multiple circles and now act as mentors to new circlers) was asked during an “Invitation Inspiration Call” about the sustainability of the whole enterprise, she said she wasn’t a math person, and changed the subject.

One woman who’s unafraid to do the math is Amber Bieg, a 33-year-old economic planner and sustainability consultant from San Francisco. Bieg first came across gifting circles in 2012. During a spiritual ceremony in Nevada City, she confessed to the woman next to her that she yearned to move to the area, but she and her husband were short the $40,000 needed to make it happen.

“She got really quiet and said, ‘I know where you can get the money and get the sisterhood you’ve been craving,’ ” Bieg recalls. That same week, a friend from Marin sent out a circle invitation. Soon, it occurred to Bieg that 90 percent of the women she knew were either involved with or had been asked to join a gifting circle. This is when the MBA dug in and did the math that others had refused to acknowledge.

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What she discovered was more Ponzi Scheme than sacred geometry—a perversion of the law of attraction. “It’s governed by the endless chain scheme law,” explains Bieg. “It’s like a chain letter, but there’s money involved and it perpetuates itself and requires infinite growth. The problem is, we don’t live in an infinite system. We live in a finite system.”

“It has to collapse inevitably,” says Bieg. “And when it does, the more people involved, the more people get hurt.”

Bieg created an online slideshow—it’s received over 25,000 views as of September 2013—that lays out the math in plain language. Whether in the guise of a wisdom circle, fire circle, medicine wheel, vision sisters or root sisters, gifting circles will indubitably leave 88 percent of its participants in the financial cold.

The legal ramifications are serious. Anyone who participates or operates in an “endless chain” scheme is in violation of section 327 of the California Penal Code,” explains Roxanne Olsen, a lawyer from Santa Cruz, who breaks down the legality of the latest breed of gifting circles in a recent post titled “Gifting Circles: Just How Illegal Are They?” A quick look at newspaper headlines reveals felony convictions for leaders of circles in Connecticut, Maine, Hawaii, Michigan and Sacramento.

For those who want true economic empowerment, Bieg suggests looking into Lending Circles or legitimate women’s philanthropic groups that pool money to invest in woman-centered businesses. Or find a group that promotes emotional and spiritual investment—without asking for a chunk of money. Sadly, for the women who get caught up, ultimately “gifting circles” offer neither empowerment nor financial stability.

“A lot of these women who get involved, when they get the $40,000 it’s gone within six months, so it’s not really spent in a way that changes lives,” Bieg says, “and the women who gave them the money are out $5,000 each as well.”

Oct. 8: ‘This Ain’t No Mouse Music’ at the Sweetwater Music Hall

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Chris Strachwitz of Arhoolie Records doesn’t “produce” music for his label—he captures it as it is. A collector, preserver and seller of authentic music, Strachwitz’s label offers a catalogue of blues, Cajun, wild hillbilly country, Tex-Mex and New Orleans R&B—and that ain’t no mouse music. (mouse music (n): from Mickey Mouse; jazz term in the 1930s for schmaltz and pop.) In ‘This Ain’t No Mouse Music,’ filmmakers Chris Simon and Maureen Gosling explore the musical cultures from New Orleans to Appalachia, falling right into the lap of Arhoolie Records. With live performances by Los Cenzontles, Eric and Suzy Thompson and Creole Belles, the film screens on Tuesday, Oct. 8, at Sweetwater Music Hall. 19 Corte Madera Ave, Mill Valley. 8:30pm. $32. 415.388.3850.

Oct. 5: Mollie Katzen at Toby’s Feed Barn

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Berkeley local Mollie Katzen is a pioneer in the farm-to-table movement. With years of experience in the garden and the kitchen, and with over 6 million books in print, the author of the Moosewood Cookbook helped bring the vegetarian palate to the American dinner plate. Katzen’s most recent book, The Heart of the Plate, offers inventive vegetarian fare for the new generation. Her early recipes packed with rich ingredients like butter, cheese and sour cream have been replaced with healthier and tastier alternatives; learn some of Katzen’s techniques when she talks about her new book on Saturday, Oct. 5, at Toby’s Feed Barn. 11250 Hwy. 1, Pt. Reyes Station. 10am. Free. 415.663.1223.

Oct. 5-7: Santa Rosa Symphony does John Adams at the Green Music Center

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John Adams once remarked about the title of his distinguished piece “Short Ride in a Fast Machine”: “You know how it is when someone asks you to ride in a terrific sports car, and then you wish you hadn’t?” This week, the celebratory opening of the Santa Rosa Symphony’s new season will showcase conductor Bruno Ferrandis clutching the steering wheel, stomping on the gas and white-knuckling Adams’ piece, taking that terrific hot rod out for a spin. Guest violinist Tedi Papavrami plays Shostakovich’s Violin Concerto no. 1, and Shostakovich’s Symphony no. 5 closes the program. Celebrate the Santa Rosa Symphony’s 86th year Saturday—Monday, Oct. 5—7, at the Green Music Center. 1801 E. Cotati Ave., Rohnert Park. Oct 5 and 7 at 8pm; Oct. 6 at 3pm. $20—$75. 707.546.8742.

Oct. 4-6: Harvest Fair at the Sonoma County Fairgrounds

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Harvest time means something else entirely for our good buds in counties north, but in Sonoma and Napa, it’s grape-stompin’ time. At this week’s Harvest Fair, attendees can roll up their blue jeans, throw off their boots and stain their calves purple in the World Champion Grape Stomp. Sonoma County’s food and wine culture flourishes with port and chocolate pairings, tasting pavilions, wine judging, biodynamic garden tours, chef demonstrations, cooking competitions and wine, wine, wine. Get juicy on Friday—Sunday, Oct. 4—6, at the Sonoma County Fairgrounds. 1350 Bennett Valley Road, Santa Rosa. Oct. 4 at 4:30pm; Oct. 5—6, noon. $50—$90. 707.545.4200.

Perpetual Motion

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To me, a noncyclist, the idea of paying $100 to ride a bike in a crowded group on extremely steep hills and sharp curves for a hundred miles is my worst nightmare. But after five years of watching people scramble for the opportunity to ride Levi’s King Ridge Granfondo, I’ve come to understand it as a “thing” that people “like to do.”

What nearly anyone can get behind is that the Granfondo raises funds—an average of $60,000 per year—for Santa Rosa to host the Tour of California, the West Coast equivalent of the Tour de France. Since 2009, Levi’s Granfondo has grown to become a destination event for cyclists from around the country and a boost to local charities—even after a doping scandal rocked the sport and tarnished the legacy of the ride’s namesake, Santa Rosa resident Levi Leipheimer.

“Levi is the host, his name is on it,” organizer Greg Fisher explains, “but he’d be the first one to tell you it’s about a great day on a bike, and it’s really wonderful that it can’t be touched.”

The initial King Ridge Granfondo had 3,500 participants paying to ride their bikes on an extremely difficult course that, 364 other days of the year, is free. Five years later, the Granfondo is a tourism beacon for the city. With its momentum and a celebrity at the helm, Fisher sees no reason the ride won’t continue, despite Santa Rosa’s decision not to host the Tour of California in 2014. “We have no plans to stop the party,” he says. “There’s no reason to.”

Santa Rosa economic development specialist Raissa de la Rosa explains that “because [the city] did not submit a bid to participate in the Tour for 2014, [it does] not expect to receive any funds from the 2013 Granfondo.”

So where will all that cash go?

Beneficiaries this year include VeloStreet’s Cycling Initiatives Program; Forget Me Not Farm; Community Giving (Rural Schools and Fire Departments); Dempsey Center For Cancer Hope and Healing; and the Pablove Foundation. But BikeMonkey has been doing some charity work of its own: paying to patch potholes on public roads.

“The county is having a hard time keeping these roads maintained,” says Fisher, marketing director for Bike Monkey. “But if we have an opportunity to make the cycling in Sonoma County a little safer, we want to do it.” So far, they’ve patched up King Ridge, Sweetwater Springs and other roads, with more work planned. In this process, county and city officials have been more than just responsive, says Fisher: “They ask how they can help.”

Fisher is somewhat modest about the charitable impact the Granfondo has had. “We anticipate fundraising to be on track this year,” he says, choosing not to boast about the fact that if his assumption holds true, the ride will have raised over $1 million in its five years of existence. No matter his past scandals, that’s one thing nobody can take away from Leipheimer.

“He’ll ride this thing until his legs fall off,” says Fisher—unwittingly describing both Leipheimer’s dream and my own nightmare in one terrifying notion.

RustRidge Ranch

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One thousand feet above the Napa Valley floor, up past a parched landscape where digger pines scrabble for purchase on the crumbling, rocky slopes above Sage Canyon Road, and down a dusty ranch road in Chiles Valley, sits RustRidge Ranch, where horses graze in open pasture alongside the vineyards, now reddening in the autumn light. Inside the tasting room, a hay barn (furnished nicely enough, with rustic artifacts and a slice of tree over old barrels for a bar), a big yellow dog lies long and flat under a table and the air is still while winemaker Susan Meyer pours a taste of 2011 Sauvignon Blanc ($25) and tells her story in a manner some might like to call laconic. The barrel-fermented Blanc is nutty, tingly, and lingers on the tongue for a long time.

Meyer’s family came up from the Peninsula in 1972 not principally to plant grapes—although that was something they did early on. As a child, she loved horses, and her mother, a racing enthusiast in the day, wanted to find land where Meyer could ride one. With the winery in 1985 came the idea to revive the ranch’s thoroughbred operation, and also came Jim Fresquez to train the horses. Affable, quick with a story, Fresquez has had a career so closely identified with California horseracing that he has personal memorabilia from Seabiscuit—and I’m talking about the horse, not the movie. Have the 2010 “Racehorse White” Chardonnay with a movie and with popcorn, herbed but not buttered, because this lean-finishing wine’s got wild, floral, peanut brittle and cream soda notes.

There’s something different about Chiles Valley Cab. The 2008 Cabernet Sauvignon ($50) is savory, with something like a Chianti get-up-and-go to it. The 2008 Zinfandel ($35) floats cherries like lazy clouds over a palate of black fruit and red candy—fine drink for a winery that’s a slightly remodeled cattle feeding barn, run by just this couple plus an intrepid intern they wrangled all the way from one of the tonier wine bars in Dallas, Texas, all three of them worrying over the press on the day before harvest, followed around the crushpad by two dogs and a cat, as horses look on from their corral.

RustRidge Ranch, 2910 Lower Chiles Valley Road, St., Helena. By appointment, 10am–4pm. Tasting fee, $20. Bed and breakfast stays available in a rambling ranch house with wall-to-wall horse decor. 707.965.9353.

Still Not Making Nice

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Ten years ago, when Washington, D.C., Republicans weren’t shutting down the government but had instead led us into an illegal war based on misleading information, Natalie Maines changed her life forever. “We do not want this war, this violence,” she said onstage in London, “and we’re ashamed that the president of the United States is from Texas.”

After Toby Keith said he’d “bury” her and the Nashville establishment spat her across the country to Southern California, we caught up with Maines, who appears at the Uptown Theatre Oct. 6 in support of a new solo album, Mother, via phone.

It’s been 10 years now since ‘the Incident,’ and the ensuing ridiculousness. Is that whole experience the reason we haven’t heard from you in so long?

Not entirely. The main reason is my two boys. I’ve just really tried to delve in to motherhood and do that 100 percent.

Here in the Bay Area 10 years ago, people were buying your records without even having heard your music. Did you know there were these pockets of support out there?

We felt both sides, for sure. People showed us more support than they ever had, and people showed us more hate than they ever had. But we were definitely aware of all the positives, and that helped a lot.

You’ve mentioned that you went to therapy. Did you send Dick Cheney the bill?

Ha! You know, it was less about that whole incident and more just about my needing to do some self-realization and slow down. And you know, there was guilt about not wanting to do Dixie Chicks for a while. But I would say “the Incident” was probably 15 percent of the issues I worked out.

Last month, on Twitter, you straight-up told someone to fuck off. Are you totally comfortable now with saying whatever’s on your mind?

On Twitter, for some reason, I feel very comfortable! Onstage, I would say I’m a little more gunshy. But I’m in a position where I’m just not going to take shit from strangers. These people that seek you out just to spread their venom, it’s hard for me to remain silent. I feel like tellin’ ’em to fuck off. And they need that. I’m doing them a public service.

It makes you wonder what things would have been like if Twitter was around 10 years ago.

Oh my God, I so wish it would have been around. It would have been different. I would have just said everything I had to say on Twitter. It’s better when you’re not edited and people can’t manipulate your words or what you’re trying to convey. You can start chasing your tail trying to explain yourself, and I just think things could have been shut down quicker. There was so much out there that we didn’t say. I don’t even think people knew what they were mad about! They were mad because I hate the troops, which was never said and was never a fact. When you ask people what I’d done, that’s what they’d say: I hate our country, and I hate the troops.

After this solo tour, you’re going out again with the Dixie Chicks, who I know have wanted you to come out of seclusion. What made you decide to do it?

I’ve always been open to touring. It’s recording a new Chicks album that I can’t carve the time out for. We live in different states, and also, it’s just . . . I don’t know, it’s hard to explain the place I’m at. But it just doesn’t feel right for me, musically, right now, as far as creating new music.

Natalie Maines plays Sunday, Oct. 6, at the Uptown Theatre. 1350 Third St., Napa. 8pm. $40. 707.259.0123.

Dear Idiotic, Spoiled Bullies

In 2002, I found myself fresh out of a toxic relationship with two very young children, the three of us homeless. We hopped from couch to couch and often slept in the back of our van while I looked for permanent housing. My savings account had been gutted by my addict ex and while I had been hired to...

Back in Black

The ubiquitous black wall is instantly recognizable by every American: 53,253 names etched in white stand out as ghosts from a controversial and bloody war. The Vietnam Veterans Memorial in Washington, D.C. is among the most moving, sacred places in the country. Very few speak in its presence, choosing to solemnly reflect on the atrocities of war. An 80...

The Royal Scam

As "Chloe" headed to a friend's Bay Area home to do some spiritual work, she had no clue she was about to get sucked into a pyramid scheme. "The topic of abundance came up, and my friend touted it as this amazing parallel economy," says Chloe, whose name has been changed for this article. So, last September, she ended...

Oct. 8: ‘This Ain’t No Mouse Music’ at the Sweetwater Music Hall

Chris Strachwitz of Arhoolie Records doesn’t “produce” music for his label—he captures it as it is. A collector, preserver and seller of authentic music, Strachwitz’s label offers a catalogue of blues, Cajun, wild hillbilly country, Tex-Mex and New Orleans R&B—and that ain’t no mouse music. (mouse music (n): from Mickey Mouse; jazz term in the 1930s for schmaltz and...

Oct. 5: Mollie Katzen at Toby’s Feed Barn

Berkeley local Mollie Katzen is a pioneer in the farm-to-table movement. With years of experience in the garden and the kitchen, and with over 6 million books in print, the author of the Moosewood Cookbook helped bring the vegetarian palate to the American dinner plate. Katzen’s most recent book, The Heart of the Plate, offers inventive vegetarian fare for...

Oct. 5-7: Santa Rosa Symphony does John Adams at the Green Music Center

John Adams once remarked about the title of his distinguished piece “Short Ride in a Fast Machine”: “You know how it is when someone asks you to ride in a terrific sports car, and then you wish you hadn’t?” This week, the celebratory opening of the Santa Rosa Symphony’s new season will showcase conductor Bruno Ferrandis clutching the steering...

Oct. 4-6: Harvest Fair at the Sonoma County Fairgrounds

Harvest time means something else entirely for our good buds in counties north, but in Sonoma and Napa, it’s grape-stompin’ time. At this week’s Harvest Fair, attendees can roll up their blue jeans, throw off their boots and stain their calves purple in the World Champion Grape Stomp. Sonoma County’s food and wine culture flourishes with port and chocolate...

Perpetual Motion

To me, a noncyclist, the idea of paying $100 to ride a bike in a crowded group on extremely steep hills and sharp curves for a hundred miles is my worst nightmare. But after five years of watching people scramble for the opportunity to ride Levi's King Ridge Granfondo, I've come to understand it as a "thing" that people...

RustRidge Ranch

One thousand feet above the Napa Valley floor, up past a parched landscape where digger pines scrabble for purchase on the crumbling, rocky slopes above Sage Canyon Road, and down a dusty ranch road in Chiles Valley, sits RustRidge Ranch, where horses graze in open pasture alongside the vineyards, now reddening in the autumn light. Inside the tasting room,...

Still Not Making Nice

Ten years ago, when Washington, D.C., Republicans weren't shutting down the government but had instead led us into an illegal war based on misleading information, Natalie Maines changed her life forever. "We do not want this war, this violence," she said onstage in London, "and we're ashamed that the president of the United States is from Texas." After Toby Keith...
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