For those who can have an alcoholic beverage without letting their life spiral into oblivion, the North Bay is a Shangri-La.
Breweries, wineries, distilleries and other opportunities for revelries abound. When the sun goes down, there’s a place where everybody knows your name, even if you’ve had too many IPAs to remember it yourself.
For those of us who don’t drink, nightlife options are limited to the family-friendly. And then it’s off to bed while the adults get to enjoy the moonlit merrymaking that we have either denied ourselves or have been denied by doctors, family members and law enforcement agencies.
I’ve been a member of the non-drinking crowd for years. And while I certainly don’t mind being in bed by 8 o’clock, I also knew there had to be something out there for us. Places to sit and lose ourselves in the darkness without the constant reminder of what we can’t have.
So, for three nights, I delayed my early bedtime and became a creature of the evening, seeking out a few of the booze-free late-night activities Sonoma and Napa counties have to offer. While the options are somewhat limited, there’s plenty to see and do as long as one doesn’t mind rubbing elbows with all the other sober weirdos who can’t sleep.
Napa Bingo Emporium
601 Silverado Trail, Napa
Open until 10:30pm
I didn’t expect the Napa Bingo Emporium to be an actual emporium. But it is. On a Friday night, I found myself at the Napa Valley Expo grounds in a massive hall lined with tables. I paid my $40 and sat with many paper bingo cards, a computer tablet that held an additional 72 electronic cards and a marker that I had to ask to borrow and was firmly told was called a “dauber.” These people are serious.
For four hours, we sat in reverent silence while numbers and letters were called from a stage flanked by not one but two American flags. People walked around selling pull tabs and flash games while I sucked down free coffee and tried to keep my eyes from crossing. The crowd, mostly senior citizens, had no problem keeping track of the multiple games. Many had special bags emblazoned with bingo balls that held their favorite daubers and custom card stands. It is a truly impressive thing to witness, and it happens three times a week. Every. Single. Week.
Cal Skate
6100 Commerce Blvd., Rohnert Park
Open until 1:30am on select days
There are things that were once ubiquitous but are now gone forever. Payphones, video stores and the middle-class spring to mind immediately. But a night at the roller rink can and should still be enjoyed. So I went to Cal Skate in Rohnert Park by myself on a Saturday night and rented a pair of rollerblades.
It turned out that my once-competent inline shredding ability was just one more thing that had disappeared. But my faith in the human spirit was restored as I held onto the wall and watched the rink. Adults with their own custom skates danced confidently in the center, teenagers held hands and fell in love, and every single person had a smile on their face.
The DJ, a 17-year-old kid who was having a blast, announced an 18-and-over race, and everyone cleared out to watch as three men lined up. As soon as the whistle blew, a surprise last-minute contestant blasted out onto the floor, far behind the pack, and quickly took the lead. The place erupted, and I clapped along, caught up in the joy and desperately trying to keep my balance.
Denny’s
1000 W. Steele Ln., Santa Rosa
Open 24 hours
I’ll admit that this Denny’s has always terrified me. I can only take so much grease on my greasy spoon. It’s one of the only 24-hour spots left in the area, though, so I swallowed my snobbery and prepared for the worst.
The newfound friendliness and cleanliness that greeted me at the door was a shock. After ordering coffee and a chocolate milkshake from the jovial server/night manager, I looked around, trying to nail down why it felt so inviting. The photos hanging on the wall—Louis Armstrong smiling, Jackie Robinson sliding into home, waitresses from the ’60s laughing—all seemed there to point out the things that have always been good and true about America and the all-night diner.
A cop sat at the counter, and the cook came out and talked with him about his troubles and triumphs. I wanted to scream, “What year is this?” as the Rockwellian scene played out. When I told the manager how good the place looked now and how lovely it felt, he beamed. “We dust our cobwebs here,” he said.
Wash World
1418 Mendocino Ave., Santa Rosa
Open until 11pm
When there’s nothing left to do, there’s always laundry, and there’s always Wash World.
Located right on the corner of Mendocino and Pacific, it’s probably better for people-watching than clothes-washing. A set of comfortable lawn chairs sits right by the large picture windows, chained together to keep someone from stealing just one instead of the set. While there are several signs begging one not to let children play on the laundry carts, it doesn’t say anything about adults. So one could probably have a pretty good time with that until someone gets hurt or needs to move their clothes to the folding table.
Walmart
6650 Hembree Ln., Windsor
Open until 11pm
I would never suggest that one spend money at Walmart. But one should absolutely pace the aisles aimlessly without buying anything.
Like a casino but sadder, Walmart is so brightly lit and windowless that it could be 10 at night or 10 in the morning. And does it even matter once one gets to that point? The Dunkin’ Donuts inside the store closes early, but there’s usually a guy selling hot dogs out front. And we all know the Walmart parking lot is where most of the late-night action takes place.
Sobriety can be tough when one lives in an area with an economy based on alcohol. But just because one doesn’t partake, that doesn’t mean they can’t find adventure. Whether it’s gambling with grandmas or stumbling around in the fluorescent light of a big box store for no particular reason, one can still find a little teetotal thrill after dark if they know where to look for it.
