Osmosis Day Spa Sanctuary
Before you ask why I, along with 900 other souls this month, have journeyed all the way to Freestone in a strangely popular pilgrimage to bury ourselves in a bath of fermented wood chips, I’ll say this: It’s been a rough year, I’m eternally stressed and DIY self-care at home just isn’t cutting it—but I’m getting ahead of myself.
The pre-fermentation tea service at Osmosis Day Spa Sanctuary was peaceful as all hell; I sipped away my worries in the tea garden room and apprecia-tea’d the limbo zone between unmitigated stress and unadulterated bliss. Drink done, my spa attendant beckoned I follow.
“Abandon every soap, you who enter,” they told me at the doorway, which I found peculiar but ultimately harmless in the grand scheme of things. What followed (also peculiar and more helpful than harmless) were the singular sensations that come from burying oneself into a biologically heated, enzyme-packed, weighted blanket-feeling bath filled to the brim with steaming fermented cedar.
I don’t really remember what happened after that, though the general consensus from those present for my first cedar bath at Osmosis was this: The moment I relaxed into the bath and let the weight of the wood cover me to my shoulders, I (allegedly) sighed, then wept, then openly, overtly and loudly wailed for my mother (again, allegedly) before going completely limp and spending my remaining time mumbling about the glory of transcension. However, all I remember was feeling warm and relaxed, so who’s to say?
Twenty minutes of (rumored) ego-death later, I emerged a changed woman, wrapped in a fluffy towel and thoroughly fermented. I returned home with a plan, which brings us back to the mention of DIY at the beginning of this tale…long story short, I rented a wood chipping machine, felled a cedar tree and stuck it all in a kiddie pool along with a 36-pack of Pabst.
Take it from me—the North Bay’s best of health, beauty and wellness, Osmosis Day Spa Sanctuary, does it better than a single person with a wood chipper and a dream ever could.
Osmosis Day Spa and Sanctuary is located at 209 Bohemian Hwy. in Freestone. Visit osmosis.com for more information. — I.C.
