.Best Place to Buy Bathroom Tiles to Admire Whilst Inebriated, Incapacitated and Throwing Up

Humanity Home & Cabinetry, Santa Rosa

I’ll begin by saying that this story is about home improvement, but the hero’s journey that led me to the North Bay’s best of home improvement (spoiler, it’s Humanity Home & Cabinetry) requires a more sordid tale.

It all started when the day was departing, and in the darkening neighborhood of Guerneville, I discovered the hallowed halls of El Barrio, home of artisanal mezcal, tequila and bourbon cocktails. This seemed, I thought, to be the perfect place to release some sorrow and toil and perhaps forget and/or create some memories.

Oh, reader, I was right—in only two hours and “a few” drinks, I came to, wrapped in a near-intimate embrace with a toilet so beautiful, so ornate and so majestic that it roused me from my drunken stupor…just long enough to feel bad when I, again, threw up in, on and around what may be the finest work of art I have seen or will ever see.

music in the park san jose
music in the park san jose

I spent a long time in the bathroom of El Barrio with only this most tastefully gaudy of toilets for company—knocks at the doorway, of other patrons demanding entrance, came and went and were easily ignored. After all, a true connection, such as that between me and this masterpiece of plumbing, is impossible to break. Until, of course, the employee with the keys came in, kicked me out and told me never to come back.

But I had experienced something in that bathroom, something that I wanted access to at all times: Whether it be food poisoning, drunkenness or the flu, I knew I needed to find a way to recreate that experience at home! So, I scoured the North Bay for a place that could give me what I needed—a way to deck out my bathroom, dress it to the nines and make sure that, no matter the reason why I’m lying incapacitated on the bathroom floor, I have something to admire. And, thanks to Humanity Home & Cabinetry, now I have a bathroom I love to throw up in. — I.C.

Humanity Home & Cabinetry is located at 799 Piner Rd., Suite A in Santa Rosa. For more information, visit humanity-home.com.


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