Yuks, Sir?

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Anyone allergic to silliness should stay clear of Sebastopol’s Ives Park for the next couple of weeks. There, a 260-year-old comedy has landed, packed with pop-culture references (The Wizard of Oz, The Princess Bride), outrageous plot twists (a man dies after falling on a chopstick—13 times), and ridiculous, slightly raunchy dialogue (a woman, disguised as a man, asks for money by saying, “I’m flat busted—so to speak”).

The 18th-century Italian playwright Carlo Goldoni wrote over 150 plays during his lifetime, the most popular being Servant of Two Masters. Kicking off this year’s Sebastopol Shakespeare Festival is a new version by Thomas Chapman of the Oregon Shakespeare Festival. Loosely based on the 1928 English translation by Edward Dent, Chapman’s approach (he also directs) resembles the more-is-less, cram-it-to-the-max, no-laugh-is-too-cheap comedy of the Reduced Shakespeare Company, Saturday Night Live and, most definitely, Monty Python’s Flying Circus.

The convoluted, twisty-turny plot involves a hungry servant named Truffaldino (David Yen, for whom Chapman fashioned the role), who accidentally ends up employed by two different people at once. Unbeknownst to him (and everyone else), his first employer, the presumed-dead aristocrat Federigo Rasponi, is actually Beatrice (Allison Rae Baker), Federigo’s sister, in disguise as her dead brother. Truffaldino’s other master is the fugitive Florindo (Peter Warden), Beatrice’s secret lover, who’s been wrongly accused of Federigo’s murder.

To raise the money for Florindo’s defense, Beatrice, in disguise, hopes to claim the dowry promised to her brother by Pantalone (Larry Williams), whose daughter, Clarice (Jessica Wysocky), was engaged to Federigo, but actually wants to marry Silvio (Chris Sword), the son of the quackish Dr. Lombardi (Nancy Prebilich), alarmed to learn that Federigo is no longer dead (cue zombie jokes). Adding spice to the mix is the potentially cannibalistic innkeeper Brighella (Brandon Wilson) and the love-hungry maid Smeraldina (Denise Elia-Yen), with whom Truffaldino is instantly smitten.

In Chapman’s hands, the raucous plot is a mere conveyance for a series of outlandish jokes, bits, inspired wordplay and supremely goofy lines (“I don’t like being frightened! It scares me!”), with each and every member of the clownish, committed cast pitching their highly physical performances at maximum over-the-topness. Though a tad overlong and a bit overstuffed, this Servant keeps the laughs coming—with plenty of pratfalls, funny faces and snot jokes—right to the giddy, ridiculous end.

Rating (out of 5): ★★★½

My Neighbor, Myself

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I am one of those people who tends to attract crazy folks on the street. I make the mistake of making eye contact and being present as they babble about the voices in their head. I am still interested in my fellow humans after all these years of disappointment.

On Tuesday, as I was about to enter a grocery store, a woman came toward me burdened by her grocery bags and a cane. She was unsteady on her feet, well-dressed and skinny, like me, pinched face looking down, shoulders hunched forward as if she carried the weight of the world. I asked her if I could help her with her groceries, and at first, she said no.

I asked her if she was sure and she began to cry, still walking forward on legs that barely carried her. I joined her, and we moved toward her car. I listened as we walked and her pain, her grief, her trauma and her pasted-together self came spilling out. I had read about her family’s suffering in the Bohemian. Her pain was and is very real. Her story needs airing because it is her painful reality, tangible and the heart a family’s grief, not just the facts.

I breathed and I listened and I offered a present, loving few moments of time. It did not take that much of me to offer compassion, understanding, presence or kindness to a stranger in my path. She needed someone, just someone in her community to listen. Just that.

Listen and witness and offer kindness. A human connection without iPads, iPhones, emails, texts or any other distractions. Simple and loving.

If we’re here together, in this moment, in this community and we cannot just look up and get off the damn phone, why are we even bothering to leave the house? I am honored to have crossed paths with someone for whom I could offer and receive the truth of human suffering with genuine concern. My neighbor, myself.

Get off the phone, look up, and offer help. You’ll be amazed how good that feels.

Molly Wolf is a dog walker, runner, writer and seeker living in Santa Rosa.

Open Mic is a weekly op/ed feature in the Bohemian. We welcome your contribution. To have your topical essay of 350 words considered for publication, write op*****@******an.com.

Political Scandals and Electability

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With the arrest and subsequent entrance into rehab of Supervisor Efren Carrillo, Sonoma County has its own political scandal.

As reported in the Press Democrat
, Carrillo was arrested in his socks and underwear allegedly attempting to break into a neighbor’s house. He had previously been arrested in San Diego for getting into a fight, and these two incidents along with admitted overuse of alcohol inspired him to, according to the most recent Press Democrat article, take a month off and check into rehab.

Is this the end of his political career?

While this is happening in Sonoma County, New York papers have had a field day with the announcement of Eliot Spitzer and Anthony Weiner’s reemergence into the political scene. Spitzer resigned as Governor of New York in 2008 after it came out he had spent up to $80,000 on prostitutes in the previous years. Weiner resigned from Congress in 2011 after “sexting” photos of his nether regions (how apropos given his name) to at least one woman he met online.

However, these two fallen politicians have come back with a vengeance. Weiner is running for mayor and Spitzer for controller. And they are doing well in the polls.

Are the American people so forgiving that prostitution and sexting are forgivable sins and just a few years out of sight and a lot of apologies render these men electable again? It appears so and Carrillo should be very happy to hear it.

“I Have You Now,” Mark Hamill Presents SF Symphony at GMC

mark_hamill.jpg

My reaction to the news that Mark Hamill will be hosting the San Francisco Symphony pops concert was disbelief. No, it can’t be, that’s impossible! But it’s true. The actor known best for his role as Luke Skywalker in the Star Wars saga will present the afternoon of “Music at the Movies” on Sunday, Aug. 4 at 4pm at the Green Music Center. Tickets are $25 to $100.

My editor told me the news, and at first it was hard to believe. But when he lifted me out of my chair from across the room by simply raising his hand in a choking motion, saying in a disappointed tone, ”I find your lack of faith disturbing,” I quickly changed my tune. Hamill will try to help the symphony to stay on target through pieces by John Williams, Danny Elfman and others. No, he will do it, because there is no try. Shut up, Grizzle, my editor says. Fine, I tell him, this is boring conversation anyway.

But will Hamill be conducting a piece? If he takes the stage, the audience might get a very bad feeling about this. But it might all be a clever rouse to cover up the real conductor, Sarah Hicks, who has served as Principal Conductor of Pops and Specials Presentations with the Minnesota Orchestra since 2009. Those 16th notes, too accurate for Hamill, one might think. Only imperial conductors are so precise.

Don’t get stressed on the way to the concert—if some big galoot in a tree crushing SUV cuts you off in the parking lot, just let the wookie win. And dress nicely—you don’t want to be called a scruffy-looking nerf herder, do you? But don’t get cocky. And as always, may the Force be with you.

KTVU Reports Asiana Pilots Named “Sum Ting Wong,” “Ho Lee Fuk”

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Today, KTVU News announced the names of the pilots on Asiana Flight 214, provided to them, apparently, by a 12 year-old boy, and vetted by nobody.

KTVU announces pilots names

  • KTVU announces pilots’ names

Yeah—we didn’t think “Sum Ting Wong,” “Wi Tu Lo,” “Ho Lee Fuk” and “Bang Ding Ow” were real names either.

For your cringeworthy moment of the day, here’s video footage of KTVU’s reporter reading the names out loud on live television.

It didn’t take too long for KTVU to issue a correction and apologize.

July 20: Battle of the Grill Takes Over Six Westside Wineries

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Grill.jpg

What’s better than a grill loaded with meats and vegetables lathered up in a tangy, spicy BBQ sauce? How about six grills matched up with six chefs, who’ve set about to create the most delicious food and wine pairing that they can possibly imagine? The 1st Annual Battle of the Grill competition has created a grill scavenger hunt of sorts, sending event goers from one Westside Road winery to another, for a sampling of grill and wine pairings from each location. Chef and winery pairings include Alderbrook Winery and Healdsburg Bar and Grill; Mill Creek Winery and Michael Mazzanti; VML Winery and BBQ Smokehouse Catering; Gary Farrell Winery and Grapevine Catering; HKG Estate Wines and Kenwood Inn & Spa, and Thomas George Estates and Canetti Italian Roadhouse.

In the style of high-stakes cooking shows like Masterchef, minus the insufferable Gordon Ramsey factor, votes will be tallied at the end of the day and the winning winery and chef gets a Battle of the Grill Trophy and bragging rights for the entire year, until the next battle, that is. No tickets sold at the door. Ticket sales end on Wednesday, July 17. Battle of the Grill turns up the heat on Saturday, July 20 at an assigned Westside Road winery. 11am-4pm. $70-$40. www.battleofthegrill.com.

The Forgotten Waldos: It All Started in San Rafael

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They weren’t trying to get famous. They weren’t looking for attention. They were, however, in existence, and they mattered. They were the Waldos, a group of San Rafael high school students, and they were reppin’ Marin County like nobody’s business. In fact, it was nobody’s business, especially if you were the fuzz out to bust them for what they were up to. “Smokin’,” “blazin’,” “weed,” “marijuana.” Didn’t matter what you called it, the Waldos just wanted to have a good time, and 4:20 pm seemed like a suitable time to do so. So they did.

Now, Sweetwater Brewing Company has an issue with this so-called “420” label, but the Waldos are too hardcore to take up a complaint with, so Sweetwater decided to accuse Lagunitas Brewing Company of ripping off its trademark label.

Wait, huh?

Exactly.

Yesterday, Lagunitas announced its dropping of any future use of the term “420” in its labeling after the Atlanta brewery claimed a trademark on the term. Sweetwater has a long-standing pale ale known as “420” and founder Freddy Bensch was angered when he learned of Lagunitas’ use of the term, such as in its seasonal beer known as “The Waldos’ Special Ale.”

How could a shout-out to the Waldos, the widely-attributed “420” founders, be taken as stealing a trademark that wasn’t the company’s to begin with?

In a series of Tweets, shown below, following a letter received by Bensch, Lagunitas founder Tony Magee pokes fun at the idea of “stealing” the marijuana-term.

Magee shows off his witty humor and even asks if his company’s change will let Sweetwater win, because, who really wins in this dispute? Certainly not the Waldos, who weren’t even asked how they felt about the situation. No big deal though. Competing companies will always have something new to argue about.

The infamous stoners will simply go mellow out somewhere at 4:20 pm, knowing the truth, and blow more smoke into the haze of ignorance.

Boudin Gives Away the Dough

Tent City in Montgomery Village

  • Tent City in Montgomery Village

I went to sleep last night with yeasty dreams full of sourdough skies, piloting a yellow submarine through a claymation sea of clam chowder in a giant bread bowl. I admit, I wanted free bread. I thought I could have it by waking up early enough and driving to Boudin, where they were giving away free bread for a year to each of the first 100 people in line to celebrate their grand opening of the Santa Rosa restaurant. Just as I was getting the hang of the submarine’s controls, after I had nailed Ringo with a really good zinger about ratamacues, my alarm goes off. I awake in darkness and pick up my phone angrily. My sassy finger swipe to turn it off says, “Bitch, please, there ain’t even light outside.” But I get up anyway, throw on clothes and a sweatshirt, grab my camera and head out the door.

There are people sleeping in tents, sleeping bags and under blankets as I pull up to the well-lit parking lot of the new store. “I’ve got a shot, there aren’t too many people here,” I think as I walk up to what looks like the end of a short line. A man wearing a large beard and a laminated badge with the number 53 on it smiles at me as I ask, “Is this the end of the bread line?” He replies in the negative, informing me that all the spots were filled last night by 10pm. There was no line, but everyone had to stay in the parking lot. Several other people came and asked the same question to any waking souls around this time, but I stuck around to chat with a few lucky carb-o-loaders.

July 17: ‘Yellow Submarine’ at West County Herb Company

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“We all live in a yellow submarine, a yellow submarine, a yellow submarine. . . .” Yes! Nailed those lyrics! I was never sure what the other lyrics were, but if you’re like me, you still love the Beatles regardless of this silly song and its corresponding movie, aptly titled ‘Yellow Submarine,’ celebrating its 45th anniversary this week. In a benefit for KOWS community radio, a special showing of the film in restored condition along with extra features plays this week. The 1968 film is a visual feast of colorful animation, Blue Meanies, and, of course, Beatles songs. It’s perfectly psychedelic and fun, full of throwback tunes; singing along is encouraged on Wednesday, July 17, at West County Herb Company. 3641 Main St., Occidental. 6:30pm. $1—$5. 707.495.4860.

Yuks, Sir?

Anyone allergic to silliness should stay clear of Sebastopol's Ives Park for the next couple of weeks. There, a 260-year-old comedy has landed, packed with pop-culture references (The Wizard of Oz, The Princess Bride), outrageous plot twists (a man dies after falling on a chopstick—13 times), and ridiculous, slightly raunchy dialogue (a woman, disguised as a man, asks for...

My Neighbor, Myself

I am one of those people who tends to attract crazy folks on the street. I make the mistake of making eye contact and being present as they babble about the voices in their head. I am still interested in my fellow humans after all these years of disappointment. On Tuesday, as I was about to enter a grocery store,...

Political Scandals and Electability

Once fallen politicians tend to rise again

“I Have You Now,” Mark Hamill Presents SF Symphony at GMC

My reaction to the news that Mark Hamill will be hosting the San Francisco Symphony pops concert was disbelief. No, it can’t be, that’s impossible! But it’s true. The actor known best for his role as Luke Skywalker in the Star Wars saga will present the afternoon of “Music at the Movies” on Sunday, Aug. 4 at 4pm at...

KTVU Reports Asiana Pilots Named “Sum Ting Wong,” “Ho Lee Fuk”

Did nobody at the station read these names out loud before rushing to broadcast?

July 20: Battle of the Grill Takes Over Six Westside Wineries

What’s better than a grill loaded with meats and vegetables lathered up in a tangy, spicy BBQ sauce? How about six grills matched up with six chefs, who’ve set about to create the most delicious food and wine pairing that they can possibly imagine? The 1st Annual Battle of the Grill competition has created a grill scavenger hunt of...

The Forgotten Waldos: It All Started in San Rafael

They weren't trying to get famous. They weren't looking for attention. They were, however, in existence, and they mattered. They were the Waldos, a group of San Rafael high school students, and they were reppin' Marin County like nobody's business. In fact, it was nobody's business, especially if you were the fuzz out to bust them for what they...

Boudin Gives Away the Dough

I should have arrived earlier.

July 17: ‘Yellow Submarine’ at West County Herb Company

“We all live in a yellow submarine, a yellow submarine, a yellow submarine. . . .” Yes! Nailed those lyrics! I was never sure what the other lyrics were, but if you’re like me, you still love the Beatles regardless of this silly song and its corresponding movie, aptly titled ‘Yellow Submarine,’ celebrating its 45th anniversary this week. In...
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