.Open Mic: Finding Wings Within Uncertainty

There’s so much to feel insecure about in my 75th year. I’m no stranger to mishap. But I can either stay rooted in fear about what’s coming, dwell on past conditioning—or let go and surrender into the unknown with all the faith I can muster.

For sure, living in fear, trying to control, manipulate or hang on to whatever one has—for dear life—is very understandable. It’s built right into our basic survival instinct. But it’s reactionary. It stifles creativity and adaptive choices. It makes our angels have to work harder, getting around a sucky feeling of dread. On the other hand? Casting the burden, letting go of what I can’t control with an intention to be well delivers evidence of a reliable, invisible support system: How liberating!

Mystics, quantum physicists, metaphysicians and body-mind scientists alike advise that to the degree we relax identifying with egoic habits, magic happens instead. Our needs seem to be met each day, a day at a time. It feels miraculous to me. The more present I am, living in this moment fully, I feel so alive-healthy. There’s freedom to enjoy states of peace and calm or youthful, robust play. The more I find things to appreciate, the more experiences happen that feel really good.

Of course, the opposite is true, too. Anxiety, worry, doubt and fear bring more experiences that feel like that “reality.” The survival system kicks into fight, flee or freeze. We may become hypervigilant in trying to ward off more danger. If there IS actual present danger, that reflexive system might save my butt; I need it! But that’s different from imagining it, unconsciously keeping myself down.

The late philosopher/author Alan Watts told us there was a “wisdom of insecurity,” just as Dr. Deepak Chopra today speaks about a “wisdom of uncertainty.” Rather than allowing fears to press down on my soul wings, I am letting life be my meditation, allowing love to give me flight. Wisdom whispers, “Fully engage, be here now with an open heart and mind. Marvel in the mystery and grace of being alive.”

Marcia Singer, MSW, is a counselor, healer, mindfulness meditation teacher and director of the Love Arts Foundation in Santa Rosa. To have your topical essay considered for publication, write to us at [email protected]
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